#i kept getting suspicious of him in strong woman

[writing-for-marvel]

Day 25: Body Worship

Mob!Bucky's Kinktober Honeymoon

Mob!Bucky Barnes × Wife!Reader

Summary: Bucky wants to prove to you how beautiful you are on the anniversary of the first time you met.

Warnings: strictly 18+, smut, sensual and romantic, oral (fem receiving), unprotected vaginal sex, creampie, hints at reader being insecure about her body, mentions a pocket of fat on her inside thigh

Word count: 2.5k

A/N: a special fic on a special day for me ❤️ dividers by me, please do not use. Banners by @vase-of-lilies

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Your hand grasps Bucky’s bulging bicep as he leads you back into your hotel room after having kept you occupied sightseeing throughout the day.

You thought it was suspicious how interested he had been exploring the old city, when you could instead be exploring each other as he usually prefers, but when you see the scene in front of you as you return to your presidential suite, it all suddenly makes sense.

Candles flicker in the middle of a formally set table, luscious red rose petals scatter the white tablecloth and floor, and where the extravagant leather couch had been this morning, now an elaborate blanket fort has been constructed. Soft violin music plays in the background as Bucky leads you around the room, allowing you time to take in everything which has been set up specially for you.

“Do you remember what today is?” He asks in what you assume is in response to a dumbfounded expression on your face.

You wrack your brain for what on earth you’ve forgotten - a birthday, anniversary, special occasion? But you come up completely blank. Slowly shaking your head, the tips of your cheeks heat up, embarrassed that Bucky has organised such a romantic night for something you’ve completely forgotten.

“Three years ago today was the first time I laid eyes on you, the first time we met.” He informs without an ounce of judgement to be perceived in his tone.

It’s hard to believe it was only three years ago you met the man you now refer to as your soulmate, it feels like you’ve known this generous and passionate person an entire lifetime.

Bucky holds out his hand, which you take without question, and pulls you into his broad chest, swaying in time to the orchestral music. You rest your head on his strong pec, feeling his heart beating just for you as his soft lips kiss your hairline.

“Never in my life have I ever wanted anyone more than I wanted you.” His voice sounds shaky, almost as if he’s choked up and trying to get the words out without sounding affected.

You look up at him through your lashes to find your devoted husband with tears in his eyes, gazing at you like his entire world is resting in the palm of his hand.

“My life has not been the same since I met you. I can’t fathom an existence without you; everything is brighter, bolder, more colourful when you're next to me. This night three years ago, I remember going home to an empty bed and thought it was strange how much my mouth was hurting. It was such a weird sensation. Then I realised, it only hurt because I’d been smiling from ear to ear the whole time I was with you.”

“You never told me that.” Tears are now welling in your own eyes, but you fight them back so that you can memorise the smile curving on Bucky’s features and the twinkle in his eye that you’ve only ever noticed when he’s looking at you.

“I knew that night you were someone I wanted in my life, in whatever way you would have me. It was like I could see my entire future laid out in front of me, all encompassed in one strong, stunning woman, with the most gorgeous, sparkling eyes I’ve ever seen and a brilliant smile that makes my heart leap out of my chest every single damn time. And here I am the luckiest man in the entire world that you chose me to be the one you trusted with your heart.”

He takes your hand while still swaying to the inflections of the string instrument, and presses the palm of your hand against his chest. His heartbeat is quicker than the pace you’re used to feeling while he’s resting, but the notion that his thoughts of you are the reason his body is reacting in such a way makes your own heart leap out of your chest.

“I would never give it to anyone else, my love.”

“Te iubesc pentru totdeauna [I love you forever]. I still can’t believe you’re all mine.” His smile is as bright and warm as the setting sun, and right now you’re Icarus flying fatally close.

But James Barnes is worth falling out of the sky for.

The words tasting sweet and sincere on his pillow soft lips when you kiss him. His mouth moves slowly, yet purposefully against yours, trying to convey his love for you in action, rather than just words. His hands cup your jaw, coaxing you to open up to him, his tongue dancing with yours in a display of his yearning need.

“I wanna give you the whole world.”

“You already have. You are my whole world.” This time it’s him who kisses you, with much more ardour and intensity, sweeping his tongue in your mouth. His hands slide down the length of your back and pull you flush with him, a moan escaping his lips as your hands tangle in his hair. He hasn’t had it cut since before the wedding, and the additional length allows you to tug on the ends nicely. “Let’s skip dinner and go straight to dessert, shall we?”

“You’re the only thing I’m craving tonight.” The hunger in his eyes certainly indicates he could devour you like a five course meal if he were so inclined, so who are you to stop him?

His large hands on your hips slowly turn you around so your ass is pressed against his front. They trace the curves of your figure gradually, taking his time, paying attention to every swell and dip of your shape which he has helped you learn to love.

Bucky zips down your dress, the material coming loose over your shoulders, and with a little shimmy, you’re almost naked before him.

“God, you’re so gorgeous. Let me show you how beautiful you are to me.”

Boys you dated in the past were only interested in one thing: seeing you naked. Though Bucky loves you bare and writhing for him, he first and foremost loves who you are; loves your soul. Being able to strip you off your clothes has always been a privilege to him, not a right.

His lips press gentle, feather light kisses along your shoulder as he rids you of your underwear, and all of a sudden you feel very exposed standing in the middle of the room, even though Bucky’s seen you naked a thousand times.

As soon as he turns you around again to face him, eyes brimming with nothing other than pure adoration and devotion, that nagging feeling of being on display evaporates. He loves you, has vowed to spend the rest of his life worshipping you, there is not a single inch of your body that Bucky Barnes does not love.

“Lay back for me baby.” Bucky requests, his powerful hands assisting you as you fall back into the blanket fort. “I got you.” He promises, ensuring you don’t collapse in a way that will result in you being hurt. The care in his touch, how gentle this burly, tattooed man is, as if he is handling a precious artefact he cannot afford to damage.

Though Bucky looks ready to take you right then and there, he starts out slowly, trailing kisses down your neck, covering your chest and breasts, tongue swirling around your nipples and sucking on both of them until they form stiff peaks, all the while whispering sweet praises against your hot skin.

“My beautiful wife. So fucking gorgeous. My Queen. These perfect tits. God, these hips, these fucking hips. And your thighs, they drive me insane. Just wanna be buried between them. Wanna give you everything, all of me. Gonna make love to you, darling. Make you feel so good.” His breath is hot against your skin, words of devotion whispered just for your ears as he places sweet kisses on the inside of your thighs, staring at your knee, and making his was towards your core, paying particular attention to the pocket of fat you’d forever disliked about your legs, but Bucky has always adored.

A moan escapes your mouth and your eyes roll back as Bucky’s strong arms hold your thighs apart and his lips close around your clit. It’s almost unexpected, with how he had been taking his time treasuring all other parts of you, but you feel a flood of wetness gush out of you at the intimate contact.

There’s a sense of power having a man as important as James Barnes lying between your legs, treating you like a queen, obsessed with bringing you to orgasm. But when Bucky looks up at you through his lashes as he suckles on your clit, you feel nothing but a rush of palpable love.

His tongue is experienced in those little lapping movements that have you throwing your head back, his strong hands gripping onto your thighs to keep you completely open for him. Bucky’s hips rut into the pillows and blankets below him as you grind your hips on his face.

You can’t even control the obscene sounds falling from your lips as Bucky continues to abuse your pussy, your hands flying to his hair as he leads you closer and closer to the edge of the ultimate high.

“You look so beautiful when you cum - show me.” The lower half of Bucky’s face glistens with your juices before he dives back into your folds, as hungry as ever.

You oblige, as you do every time your dangerously gorgeous husband requests this from you, it’s like his words themselves compel you to satisfy his order. Your back arches off the pillows, your whole body trembling as a devastating pleasure rips through you, it feels like burning sunshine radiates in your veins, surging with every pulse.

Bucky’s lips don’t let up their suction until your thighs stop shaking, only to switch his attention to your stomach, showering every inch of your soft skin with kisses as his hands knead your breasts.

You feel cold and empty for a moment as Bucky focuses on stripping off his clothes, but as soon as he looks back at you, completely bare and ready to finish what he started, warmth blooms in your chest.

“I’m so fucking hard for you, darling.” Bucky sits on his heels, thick cock in hand as he rubs his leaking tip through your soaking folds, humming at the sensation. A whine falls from your lips, desperate for him to fill you up, for you to feel so utterly full and satiated by him that you’re almost on the brink of insanity.

“Need to feel you Buck, please, I need you so fucking bad.”

He mumbles something in Romanian you don’t understand in response as he pushes his swollen tip inside you. You let out simultaneous groans as he slowly fills you up. As he bottoms out, he rests his forehead against yours. You finally feel complete with him buried to the hilt.

“Fuuuccckkk… a lifetime of that feeling will never be enough.”

You moan against his mouth as his hands intertwine with yours, pinning them above your head as his eyes brim with pure love. He starts off slowly, almost agonisingly so, pulling all the way out of you before thrusting himself inside to where it feels like he’s in your stomach, watching your face intently to your reactions as his cock kisses your cervix.

His bare chest presses to yours, caging you in, hearts thundering against each other as you move together to a relentless rhythm, an intoxicating tide of intimacy and pleasure. His gaze and touch are full of love, a contrast to the harshness of the underworld he was carved out of, but you know it’s you who makes him tender.

“That’s my girl, taking me so well aren’t you?” Your nails rake down his back as you feel your walls clench down on his member. The rhythm of his cock stroking your velvety walls doesn't let up as his lips attach to your neck, sucking your skin in a way that makes you see stars.

He understands your wants and needs better than anyone else, learning the formula for your gratification in a way that none of your previous partners ever tried to.

“Oh God, you’re so deep, Buck. Feels so good.” His hips roll into yours fluidly, hips circling and rubbing against your g-spot so effortlessly with every thrust. The pressure in your lower belly threatens to engulf you, drown you in a sea of pleasure, but it’s a demise you’ll embrace when Bucky’s making you feel like you’re floating on a cloud of pure bliss.

Your orgasm approaches fast, the look of complete desperation in Bucky’s eyes only bringing you closer to the edge. All it takes is Bucky whispering a phrase in his native language and another deep thrust for you to come apart on his cock.

You can barely breathe with the ferocity of your high, it feels like an entire waterfall of pleasure washing over you at once, overwhelming, brutal, but oh so good.

“I’m gonna cum so hard for you baby.” Bucky moans as your walls flutter around him. He looks the picture of utter sexiness, jaw hanging open, strands of hair stuck to his forehead with sweat and that contrasting warm fondness in his blown out pupils.

Your chest squeezes when it’s your name that his lips enunciate as he spills his large load inside you.

You’re the one making him feel this good. You’re the only person who he will ever share this intimate side of himself with again. The only one who gets to see his face as he comes undone, steel blue eyes boring into yours as if he wants to remember each and every detail of your face as you cum together.

Bucky collapses next to you, arm slung around your waist as you both catch your breath. You smile at him and he beams right back as you sweep a strand of hair from his eyes.

“God, I’m so in love with you. Can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else.” There’s a moment where he simply looks at you, as if trying to convince himself you laid beside him is in fact his reality, before he kisses the tip of your nose.

“You don’t have to imagine, Buck, I’m all yours, for the rest of forever.” You snake your arms around his torso and pull yourself flush against his broad chest, feeling him place a kiss to your hairline. “I love you.”

Bucky pulls a blanket over your intertwined bodies as you close your eyes, feeling completely content falling asleep beside the love of your life in a blanket fort.

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[daydreaming-nerd]

Young Love and Old Money (Cassian x Female! Reader) Part 7

Young Love and Old Money Masterlist

AN: Damn we on part 7? That happened fast. I just realized that this series is going to be longer than I thought. ALSO, highly suggest clicking on the link to see the readers dress bc it adds to the plot and it was hard to desribe lol.

Summary: She was the most beautiful woman in Prythian, sister to the High Lord of Night, and now she is the soon-to-be wife of Eris Vanserra. Despite her many titles and her aura of unattainability, Cassian can't help but fall deeply in love with the princess of the Night Court. But will it be enough to stop her impending wedding to a man who is sure to destroy her from the inside out?

Warnings: Sexism, heavier SA in this one again, a little bit of exhibitionism, jealously, Smut 

Word Count: 6,009

“If you don’t stop right now Rhys is going to kill you for being late!” I giggle watching Cassian pepper kisses all over my neck through the floor-length mirror. I had simply asked him to button up the back of my dress for me but now he couldn’t keep his hands off me.  

“Rhys can wait,” Cassian smirks nibbling under my ear, the scruff of his morning beard tickling my skin. 

“I’m sure he can, but it might seem a little suspicious that you’re late considering you’re the most punctual person I know,” I smile running a hand through his hair. 

Cassian doesn’t stop pressing loving kisses all over my shoulders and neck. His hands rubbed soothing circles on my hips. His strong chest behind me kept me upright as I watched him ravishing me in the floor-length mirror. 

“Cass,” I protested, turning in his arms knowing if I didn’t my newly buttoned dress would be unbuttoned and on his bedroom floor in an instant. 

“Alright, alright,” he laughed as I threw my arms over his shoulders to play with the hairs at the nape of his neck. 

“I promise you can kiss me all you want later,” I laughed, pressing a kiss to his lips. 

“What about anywhere I want?” he grins, kissing me again.

“Hmmm, maybe,” I tease, tilting my head to the side. Cassian’s hands gripped my waist tighter. 

“C’mon princess don’t make me beg,” he said lowly, pressing a kiss to the shell of my ear. 

I couldn’t help but let out a small giggle to hide the change in my heart rate, “I wouldn’t mind seeing you on your knees general.” I tease. 

“You know I’d crawl to your bed if I had to, princess,” he teased back and the air in the room had become thick and warm.  

I push away from him a little, “Cass stop I know what you’re trying to do! Go talk to Rhys before he comes up here to see what’s taking so long!” I laugh. 

“Fine, fine,” he shakes his head and follows me out of his room into the hallway. 

“What does he want to talk to you about anyways?” I ask as we walk idly towards the kitchen. 

“I’m not sure,” he admits. “Probably just catching up on the Illyrian camps I visited with Az earlier.” 

“Well remember. Nothing about you and I, as far as he’s concerned Eris and I are counting down the days until the wedding.” I remind him as we round the corner to the kitchen where Azriel sips his morning coffee. 

“Hello lovebirds,” Azriel mused, not looking up from his book. 

“Hello Az,” I smiled at the shadowsinger. 

“I promise to paint a lovely picture of newly engaged bliss, even though I enjoy it,” Cassian assures me as we stop at the door to the balcony. 

“Thank you,” I say cupping his cheek. “Now go before Rhys loses his mind,” I say pushing him out the door. 

“Ah ah ah not without one of these,” he smirks, pulling me in by my waist for a kiss. Gods I would never get tired of kissing this male. 

Without another word, Cassian pulled away and flashed me a charming smile before flaring his wings and taking off into the air. These past few days I had grown to see a new side to the Illyrian that I had never known before. For one, I had never known him to be so sweet and loving and two, I had never seen the male smile so much. Not that I could complain, he did have one of the most dashing smiles I’d ever seen.  

“You two are adorable but you make me sick,” Azriel laughed from the kitchen table beside me. I turned my head to find him watching me intently. He tried to mask his face in disgust, but the love in his eyes was a dead giveaway. 

“There will be loads of women fawning over your pretty face tonight tonight.” I teased ruffling up his hair. “And you’re a wonderful dancer. I’m sure you’ll find your person soon.” I continue waltzing towards the library.

“So you think I’m pretty?” Azriel teases taking a bite of an apple. 

I simply rolled my eyes and shook my head as I exited the room. 

Cassian’s pov: 

“Cass please sit down,” Rhysand says motioning toward the plush chair in his study, one large enough to accommodate wings of course. 

I had known the bastard for hundreds of years and never once had I been afraid of him. But I hadn’t spoken to him since everything happened with me and y/n. I had made sure to keep my mental shields up but I couldn’t stop the irrational fear that Rhys’ next words were going to be, “Are you fucking my little sister?” As he poured us each a glass of whiskey I couldn’t help but feel a bead of sweat dripping down my back. 

“I hear you’ve been keeping y/n satisfied,” Rhys drawled, handing me a glass. 

Oh shit

“At least that’s what Azriel said the other day when I asked him how you guys were doing with going back and forth to the Autumn Court all the time.” Rhys cocked an eyebrow at my blank expression as I grabbed the glass of whiskey from his hand and sipped it eagerly. 

Azriel that motherfucker. I could practically see his smug face as he told Rhys about how “satisfied” I was keeping his little sister. I would be thoroughly kicking his ass today at training. 

“Yeah I mean it’s a pretty simple task taking her back and forth.” I shrug trying to shake whatever tension I had from my shoulders. “But she seems to have no quarrel with me, except for one time when I messed up her hair because I flew too fast but that’s about it.” I smile remembering the cute angry look on her face that went along with her messed-up updo. 

“Ever the little princess,” Rhys rolled his eyes and relaxed into his chair. “Is she happy with Eris?” 

I tried to look collected as Rhys asked the question I had been dreading. The entire flight here I considered telling him everything. I thought that maybe he could help her, or at least talk to Beron. But then I thought about how I would have to explain why I cared so much, and Rhys would be much less inclined to help if he knew I was fucking his little sister. Hell if y/n ever did figure this out would Rhys even allow me to be with her? I was a bastard after all.  

Then of course there was y/n. She would never forgive me for betraying her trust, and I wasn’t willing to lose it. More importantly, I thought back to what she said the day that Eris first tried to take advantage of her. 

Cassian please, don’t take my choices away from me…

Cauldron how those words had struck me like lightning when she said them. The poor girl had never been given free will to make her own choices until recently. First, she was closed off from the world because of her beauty, then she was under the mountain. Now she was engaged to Eris and I’d rather die than be another person who tried to control her. 

“She seems to be,” I reply to Rhys. “I mean she did agree to marry him.” 

Lies 

Lies 

Lies

“And Eris? Will he be a suitable husband for her? I’ve heard stories of him, some good, some bad. I was hesitant at first to let him near her till I remembered what others have said about me.” he says with a hint of sadness. “I thought I’d give him a chance, in hopes that Feyre will give me one someday.” 

My heart broke for my brother, “I’m sure she will brother,” I say warmly. “But Eris seems quite smitten with y/n. He’s already sent her a large trove of dresses and jewels.” 

Not entirely a lie.

“I hope you’re right Cass,” Rhys said with a sad smile. “But I’m glad my sister is happy. After all she’s endured she deserves it. Will you be joining us tonight?” he asks, referring to the engagement ball. 

“Have you ever known me to pass up free drinks and beautiful women?” I chide leaning back in my own chair.

“I suppose not,” Rhys laughed, slamming back his whiskey. 

y/n’s pov: 

Cauldron boil me.

That was the only thought that raced through my head as I stared at myself in the floor-length mirror. For once my lady's maids didn’t get a chance to select the perfect dress for me to wear tonight, as Eris had specifically labeled a dress in the trove he sent me. The dress I now wore. 

The fabric itself was beautiful, swaths of chrome of molten gold. It draped and cascaded down my body perfectly, the only problem with the fabric was that there wasn’t enough of it. The high slit and the low back left little to the imagination. Even the top of the dress was skimpy, with only three thin pieces of fabric holding the garment together. 

As I exited my bedroom to the foyer to meet Cassian I could only hope that the fireplaces would be roaring on both ends of the vast ballroom tonight as I was already freezing. I find Cassian already waiting for me (per usual), in a night court black jacket that has him looking like pure sex. The only color adorning him is the two red siphons on his hands. 

“Absolutely fucking not,” he gawks at my dress, eyes raking up and down my nearly bare body. 

“What don't you like it?” I tease doing a spin for him. 

His arms pull me close to him, hands wandering all over my exposed skin. The familiar touch of his hands soothes the goosebumps on my too-cold skin as I feel myself leaning into him. 

“That’s what he’s making you wear?” he scrutinizes, looking me up and down again. 

“Unfortunately yes,” I sigh looking down at the dress myself. Gods I hated this. 

“That bastard’s going to have his hands all over you all night,” he grits, turning his head to the side like he doesn’t want me to see the simmering in his eyes. 

I reach up to cup his face turning his gaze back to mine, “Cass I know that this isn’t easy. If the roles were reversed the female would be dead by now,” I laugh trying to ease the mood. “If you don’t want to come tonight I’ll understand.” 

“No, I’m not leaving you to do this on your own,” he says, placing a hand over my own that rests on his cheek. 

“Cass-” 

“I’m going y/n,” he assures me. 

Secretly and selfishly I was glad he was coming. I would never make him do such a thing. Especially knowing how Eris is going to be. But there was a comfort in knowing that he would be present. A comfort in knowing that at the slightest hint of a scared glance, he would likely burn down the whole court for me. 

“Cassian?” I whisper. 

“Yes?” he asked. 

“Kiss me,” I say, referencing our first kiss, hoping it would bring a smile to his face. 

“With pleasure,” he smiled before leaning in for a kiss. 

I took every moment and committed it to memory knowing that soon it would be Eris’ lips instead, and they wouldn’t be as tender and sweet. Soon it would be Eris’ hands on me, and they wouldn’t be as warm and strong. I savored every taste of Cassian I got, somehow in that moment falling even deeper in love with him. Cassian kisses me like I’m the air he breathes. He kisses me like every female dreams of being kissed and gods I’ll never get enough. 

“When we get home,” I whisper in his ear. “I want you to rip this dress off me and fuck me on every single surface in this gods forsaken house.” 

“Be careful princess. You don’t want me at attention in public.” Cassian purs in my ear holding me closer. 

“Maybe I do,” I smile, pressing a kiss to his jaw. 

“Cruel, wicked female.”

Unlike the last ball when my brother and I arrive, we are one of the first people there, as the ball is being thrown in Eris and I’s honor. I spend the first hour or so making polite conversation until the rest of the crowd shows up. Thankfully the second they do the dancing is in full swing giving me ample time to converse with others as Eris sits on a dias at the end of the room. A place normally reserved for the High Lord alone, but it seems Beron wants to show off this union.

“She’s not here again,” I say to my brother. 

Rhys was one of the first people to dance with me tonight and I had never accepted an invitation so happily, well besides Cassian. When my father taught me to waltz Rhys was always there to help me. We must’ve spent hours dancing together while growing up. Dancing with him now was like living out the old days I so dearly wished for. 

“How do you know?” Rhys asked me as he spun me around once more. 

“I checked the guest list,” I say sadly. “It sounds like she and Tamlin never even leave his mansion.”

“Oh,” my brother says sadly, halting his search for the infamous cursebreaker. 

“You should call upon your bargain Rhys. Give her time to get to know you,” I tell him as he lifts me slightly and resumes the dance in time with the others. 

“I don’t want to force her to love me,” he admits sadly. 

I can’t help but feel my heartbreak. Sure Rhys wasn’t always the best at first impressions given his reputation, but he was an amazing brother and an amazing male. “Rhys please, she’s your mate. Maybe if she meets me I can help her see how amazing you are,” I say hopefully. 

“If Tamlin is what makes her happy I won’t stand in her way,” he explains to me and it’s like a punch to the gut. Before I can say anything to ease his pain a voice cuts in from beside me. 

“Mind if I cut in?” Azriel asks politely. 

“Not at all brother, just don’t step on my dear sister's toes,” Rhysand jests, passing my hand to Azriel’s.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Azriel smiles before leading me up into a waltz.

“What no crowds of women falling all over you?” I tease him as he gracefully moves around the dancefloor. 

“I’m actually using you to get away from a particularly nosey one,” he nods his head to a giddy blonde in the corner. She looks far too young for him and way too energetic to catch Az’s interest and I can’t help but laugh. 

“Glad to be doing the royal duty of helping my citizens,” I laugh as he spins me in a circle. 

“If you really want to help you could give me a kiss,” he tilts his head so his cheek is on full display for me. 

“Who would come after you first? Eris, Cassian, or my brother?” I roll my eyes. 

“Don’t forget Helion, he's here too,” Azriel laughs and sure enough, out of the corner of my eyes, I can see the High Lord of Day. 

“By the cauldron, I’ll never know peace,” I sigh as Az picks me up and twirls me around.

Even though it was the same ballroom as last time this one felt smaller. Every move I made felt more and more observed and scrutinized. On one end I had Eris sitting on a dias watching me like I was a pet he had let off its leash. On the other side stood a very grumpy and brooding Cassian who wouldn’t take his eyes off me and Eris, like he was waiting for the prince to make one wrong move. Never mind the rest of the guests who gawked at my dress or the ginormous ring on my finger.

“Eris is looking at me like he’s about to have me incinerated,” Azriel laughs in my ear. 

I can’t help but roll my eyes, on the next spin I see the prince doing just that. “That’s his way of saying he wants me back.” I sigh. 

“You want me to dance us away from him?” Az asks sweetly and quietly. 

“No, no I’ve already been avoiding him for far too long. He’ll come down here himself in a moment,” I say as the music stops and I bow to Az. 

“Good luck then princess,” he bows to me before he saunters off to where Cassain sits gripping a goblet of wine tighter than he ought to.

Like I’m either a blessing sent from above or a curse from below the crowds parts for me as I make my ebay towards Eris. The men gawk and lick their lips, the women gossip and whisper to one another. Once again I felt like a painting displayed at a museum, I was beginning to hate balls. 

“Have I told you how delicious you look in gold, my pet?” Eris says as I take my place standing next to his chair.  

“At least a dozen times tonight,” I sigh, snatching a glass of wine off a silver platter. 

“Come here,” Eris says, patting his lap and I know better than to disobey, not when all of Prythian is watching us. 

“What, I don't get to have my own throne?” I grumble, adjusting my dress from where I sit on his lap. The damned thing is one gust of wind away from exposing me to the whole room. 

“Wall ornament my dear, wall ornament,” he reminds me, lips trailing down my neck. “And how beautiful you look perched on my lap,” he smirks. 

“Yes and I’m one gust of wind away from flashing the whole room,” I grit, adjusting the dress once more. 

“Good, let them see what I get to indulge in,” he grins, lifting my goblet to his own lips. The overwhelming urge to spill the liquid all over his pressed jacket is strong but lord knows what would happen next. 

“Prince Eris,” mused a female voice drawing both of our attention. “I came to offer my congratulations to you and your future wife.” 

The woman standing before me was nothing short of beautiful. Her skin is fair and covered in freckles across her nose and cheeks. Eyes the color of the evergreen trees found in the winter court. Her hair is unbound and the deep auburn. She looked at Eris with a certain coldness and in that moment I realized that they might have been lovers at one point in time. Her eyes flitted to mine and my blood ran cold. She looked at me like I had taken her future away. I suppose I had. If Eris had any feelings for her he certainly didn’t show it.

“Thank you for your well wishes Lady Adarna. We hope to see you at the wedding next week,” he chided leaning back in his chair once more. 

The woman simply bowed and waltzed away. I mentally hoped she wouldn’t go near Cassian. Not that I didn’t trust him, but because I didn’t trust her for one moment.

As she scurried off to join a large group of lords and ladies conversing I watched as Eris’ eyes trailed her entire backside. His lips twitched up as if recalling a fond memory. Now was the perfect time to execute my backup plan. 

“She seemed angry to see me on your lap,” I muse, taking another sip of my wine. 

“So is every male in this room. You should be used to it by now.” he kissed my shoulder. 

“You fucked that woman didn’t you?” I turn my head to him letting him see the false anger in my eyes. I had to sell it. 

“Many times my pet,” he smiled proudly. “She used to beg me to come to her bed.”  

I scoff at his words, it was too hard to believe that any woman would beg to warm Eris’ bed.

“And you're ready for monogamy?” I raise an eyebrow at him, my question more like a test. Eris had been so in lust with me had forgotten about the other women he once bedded. Surely the idea of monogamy wasn’t one he relished, he needed a reminder. The very concept could be the only thing to stop the wedding. 

“Who said anything about monogamy?” he laughed while taking a sip of his wine. “I’m sure I’ll be insatiable after I deflower your tight cunt, but once you’re with child I’ll be left to my own devices. Someone will have to satisfy my needs,” he said like it was common knowledge. 

By the fucking cauldron this man was insane. But in his words, I saw an opening I never thought of. Maybe I didn’t need to call off the wedding, maybe I just needed to ensure I could sneak out the back door so to say when I needed to. 

“And what about me? Will I be allowed other partners?” I muse playing with the hair at the nape of his neck like it might soften him up. 

Eris barks out a hearty laugh and I already know I’ve lost this fight as his hand trails up my thigh. The fabric of my dress starts to shift and I find myself shifting around to fix it once more. 

“Of course not wife, I won’t have your cunt defiled by any other male,” He pressed a kiss to my neck. “You are purely mine, to taste, to fuck, to impregnate all I want.” 

“I’m not your wife yet,” I grumble trying to stand, but his hand on my front flattens and I’m pulled down onto his lap once more.

 My stomach pits as I feel what prods into my backside. He’s undeniably hard and my eyes search for Cassian. I have no doubt that Eris would fuck me right here on this dias just to prove a point to everyone in attendance. I search and search, but Cassian is nowhere to be found.  

“Oh really? Because you’re on my lap, on my throne and you’re wearing my ring,” He purrs lowly so only I can feel his hand dipping under my dress. “And I’m pretty sure you’ve cum on my fingers. So yes I will call you my wife preemptively because that’s what you are ‘Jewel of Prythian’, mine.” 

His hand cups my sex and my breath hitches in my throat. Tears prick my eyes and I put on a cold face. 

I will not cry.

I will not cry. 

I will not cry. 

I feel a finger slip through my folds and when he doesn’t find what he’s looking for his finger slips inside me. My eyes search the crowd to see if anyone is paying attention, but thankfully they are all drunk and lost in conversation or dancing. That is until my eyes land on Cassian’s. I could throw up from the embarrassment of it all. 

Eris quickly retracted his finger, bringing it to his lips and sucking it. 

“Good girl. You didn’t fight this time.” he muses, brushing a hand down my cheek. 

I take the quickest route out, “I think I see Viviane, she wants to speak to me,” I say quickly, standing from his lap. 

“Have fun pet,” Eris smirks, smacking my backside before I saunter down the steps making a beeline for Kallias and Viviane. 

My mind is a mess of a million different voices. Eris calling me his broodmare, Cassian begging me to end all this, the voice of my brother sacrificing himself for me, the sound of the children of Velaris playing in the streets. All of it is like a perfect storm. I could erupt at any moment and I don’t think anyone here would care unless my makeup smeared and ruined the image of “The Jewel” 

Like a magnet, my eyes flit up from my feet rushing through the crowd to find that hazel gaze that always brought me home. 

Cassian was making a beeline towards me. No, not towards me, to my right.

I passed him without so much as a word but as if some strange instinct kicked in, I reached out a hand and felt him do the same. Our fingers grazed each other where no one could see. His touch held a thousand words. 

I am here. I am with you. You are not alone. I love you.

My breathing calmed, my heart rate slowed, and the voices in my head quieted down to the point where all I heard was the white noise of those around me.  

And I was thankful, so thankful, for that simple touch that brought me home.

Cassian’s pov: 

I could kill him. 

I could fucking kill him for touching my mate that way. Cleave his head from his body. Castrate him. Rip him limb from limb and my rage still wouldn’t be sated. 

The look on her face as his hand dipped between her legs is one I wouldn't soon forget. She was so scared, so helpless and I just let it happen.

I marched towards the other end of the ballroom after grazing her hand in mine. I just needed to feel her once. Just needed to remember that she was mine. 

I pushed past the large swaths of curtains lining the room to where I knew there was a door that led to the cool night air outside. I just needed air. I needed to forget. 

y/n’s pov: 

“Well I hope to see you and your new husband visiting us in the winter court soon,” Viviane said, embracing me fondly.  

“And tell that brother of yours that I want to have a drink with him soon,” Kallias smiled putting a hand on my shoulder. 

“I’ll be sure to do both,” I smile warmly. 

While under the mountain, Kallias was one of the people who looked out for me. His relationship with my brother was strong, and since Rhys couldn’t ever be with me Kallias had stepped in as one of my protectors. I had only met Viviane once since Kallias shielded her from the horrors under the mountain, but her warm soul always spoke to me. I was happy to call the mates my friends. 

“I’ll do just that,” I smile, backing away from the High Lord and Lady. 

My eyes flit up to that cursed dias, looking for any sign of Eris’ gaze. Instead, I found him lounging about talking to one of the men who sexualized me at the last ball. My skin prickled at the memory. Their voices calling through my head as I made my way towards the edge of the room scouring the dancehall for another drink. 

Suddenly a hand gripped my exposed arm and pulled me behind the swaths of large fabric that lined the room. My back hit one of the many pillars as another hand was placed over my mouth to keep me from screaming, which I desperately wanted to do until I saw that beautiful shade of hazel that warmed my very bones. 

“Shh, it’s okay it’s just me,” Cassian whispered, releasing his hand that covered up over half of my face. 

“Oh Cassian,” I breathed, placing my hands on either cheek. The stubble from this morning mixed with the warmth of him setting my very soul on fire. 

“Are you okay?” he breathed pulling me into his chest, like he just needed to have me in his arms if only for a moment. 

“Yes, yes I’m fine,” I said frantically as I inhaled his scent. 

“He touched you,” Cassian glowered and I pulled my head back to meet his simmering eyes. 

My heart shattered right there at the pain within them. He had seen everything. Seen Eris’ hand roam where it shouldn't have, seen him bring that hand to his mouth. Seen him do this in front of everyone and I had instructed the general not to even flinch. It was cruel, I was crueler than even the prince of Autumn himself, 

“I’m sorry Cassian, I’m so so sorry,” I pleaded, brushing a hair out of his face that had escaped the bundle at the nape of his neck. “I’m yours Cassian, I’m yours.”  

“Y/n I-” 

“My heart,” I cut him off, placing his rough hand over the center of my too-exposed chest. “My heart belongs to you Cass.” 

In an instant his hands found my waist, pulling me towards him as his frame backed me into the marble pillar. His lips on mine in a fiery need. I met him touch for touch as I pulled the lapels of his jacket towards me, needing to feel every inch of him on me. Even more than that I needed him to erase every single fingerprint Eris had left on me. 

Cassian. 

My Cassian.

His hands brushed over the vast expanse of my exposed skin leaving a trail of warmth wherever they went. I had spent the night so freezing cold from my lack of coverage that the heat of his body against mine felt so delicious. 

His tongue parted my mouth and I felt every inch of him reclaiming me. My hands found that head of hair that I so often found myself gripping as he licked my most sensitive areas. My mind raced to last night where he spent a solid hour coaxing orgasm after orgasm from me. 

A woman laughed loudly from the other side of the curtain pulling both Cassian and I’s heads away from one another. We looked to see if the curtain had been pulled back but found nothing.

My core ground down on the bulge in his pants. Oh gods I needed him. I needed him now. 

“Tell me to stop,” he breathed, tucking a stray hair behind my ear. “Tell me to leave and wait till we get home.” 

“No,” I rasped pulling him down to my lips once more. 

I needed him now. Needed to feel all of him, needed to remember that no matter what Eris said or did to me he could never own me. He could own my body, sure. But my heart? My soul? The very essence of me? All of it belonged to Cassian. So much so that it consumed me. 

Cassian’s large hands reached beneath my thighs hoisting me up and pressing me further into the cold marble pillar. It didn’t take much for my dress to part for him exposing my core. My hands went to the ties of his pants frantically pulling them down until he sprang free. 

“Cassian, I need you,” I pleaded with him. 

“Shh I’m coming baby,” he assured me, pumping his cock a few times. 

The woman outside the curtain laughed again but this time neither of us looked to see if she had seen us. Let them see. I thought to myself. At this moment I was beyond caring about who was engaged to and who I wasn’t. Who was a prince and who was a bastard. Cassian had all of me, that's all that mattered. 

Cassian slid home filling me to the brim so harshly that I gasped. A calloused hand flew over my mouth and my eyes met his. His intense stare watching me take every luxurious inch of him could’ve been enough to make me cum right then and there. 

“Shh princess, I don’t like sharing.” he mused, thrusting into me even harder.

His hand fell from my mouth to brace against the pillar behind me as the other arm kept me upright. Every stroke threatened to have me screaming in pleasure. Calling out just how in love with this man I really was. But there were at least a couple hundred people on the other side of that thick curtain and though I hated to admit it, the game we were currently playing thrilled me to my core. 

“Fucking mine,” Cassian gritted through his teeth, thrusting harder for emphasis. This wasn’t just about releasing the tension for both of us. Oh no. This was my general reclaiming what was his, and cauldron if he didn’t have a hand holding me up I would’ve been weak at the knees. 

“All yours Cass,” I mumbled into his mouth as I pressed my lips into his, my fingers digging into the material of his jacket. 

“I love you y/n,” he breathed. “So fucking much.” 

“I love you too Cassian,” I smiled, feeling myself clench around him, as the knot in me was beginning to let go. 

“Fuck,” he hissed in my ear, burying his head in my shoulder. 

It was enough to have me cumming around his cock. My hand flew to my own mouth to stifle the loud moan my body involuntarily let out. My orgasm triggered Cassian's as he let out a smothered low groan burying himself deep inside me

As I tried my best to catch my breath Cassian pulled his head from my shoulder. I looked at his strained face and his messed up hair and began meticulously brushing every strand back into place. His eyes met mine and I couldn’t help but laugh. 

“We did not just do that,” I giggled brushing his hair into submission. 

“I think we did princess,” he laughed looking down to where he was still seated inside me. “I’m sorry I got a little jealous there.” 

“Don’t be sorry, it was kinda hot.” I smile, running a hand down his cheek.

“Yeah?” he smirked, leaning in for another kiss.

“You two are fucking idiots!” Azriel hissed low coming from around the corner. 

Our heads turned immediately to find a very worried Azirel shrouded in his shadows. Cassian set me down and shielded my body with his growling at Az as he tucked himself back into his pants. 

“A warning would have been nice brother,” Cassian grumbled, making sure I was decent before stepping to the side. 

“You’re lucky my shadows found you before anyone else did,” Azriel argued. “Eris is looking for her,” he says nodding towards me. 

“Shit,” I curse, adjusting my dress and stepping towards the curtain. 

Cassian’s hand finds mine and pulls me back. My eyes snap to him and where there was once lust is now a pleading gaze that has tears threatening to spill from my own eyes. 

“Please don’t go to him, I can’t bear it any longer,” he begs me and gods does it shatter me to my core. 

“I have to Cass,” I say adjusting his jacket so it’s straight.

“Tell him you're ill and then come back to me,” he pleads. “Then we can go home.”

I know deep down that I shouldn't be leaving this early. It had only been an hour or two since the guests arrived and I hadn’t even spoken to Helion. But Cassian looked so broken. So broken and so hurt. I couldn’t put him through anymore tonight, and I wanted nothing more than for him to take me in his arms and tell me everything would be okay.

“Alright,” I say assuringly, squeezing his large hand. I take one look at Cassian and then at Azriel who looks worried as hell, like if I didn’t leave right this moment we would all be found out. 

So I reluctantly pulled my hand from his and parted the curtain that concealed us. Thankful for the shadows Azirel lent me, I was able to assimilate back into the crowd seamlessly. But as I made my way towards the dias where Eris sat impatiently I swore I could feel Cassian’s anger behind me and it threatened to bring down the room around us. 

Part 8

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[daydreamtofiction]

Thou Shalt Not Covet // 19: Spirit

Contents | Prev Part | First Person Version [AO3]

Summary: (Priest!Benedict x Female Reader) A year and a half has passed and Ellis has moved on, but the universe never seems to let her forget her past.

Word Count: 8.3K (It's another hefty one lol oops)

Warnings: Strong language, irreverence, dark humour, adult & sexual themes, alcohol consumption, smut incl: penetrative sex, 'quickie', rough, no aftercare. Readers must be 18+

The world never stops turning, no matter how unfair it may seem. We crash our cars yet the radio still plays, traffic lights keep changing as we sit in the wreck, red then amber then green, and back again. Daffodils bloom as dreams wilt away, and the sky still glitters with fireworks at the end of the worst year of someone's life. We are passengers on a train with no stops, and the options are limited; embrace the journey or get dragged along behind it. 

Eighteen months had passed since you'd let the light back in. A year and a half of laughter and growth, of new friends and milestones. Granted, you still couldn't drive. Still had terrible posture and a knack for saying the wrong things. But those that loved you didn't care, and you were finding it easier to love yourself because of that. 

You were four hours from home, sitting in the passenger seat of Rav's car as he drove you through the most quaint, scenic town you'd ever seen. It was like an illustration; thatched roofs and Tudor cladding, ivy on brick and winding cobblestone lanes. There was a milkman driving a float in front of you, an old lady setting up tables outside a café as a policeman strolled down the street, smiling and waving at passers by. 

You turned to Rav. "Did you ever watch Midsomer Murders?" 

He looked at you from the corner of his eye, smirking like he knew what you were about to say.

"This place is just too idillic," you said. "Feels like Jessica Fletcher's somewhere investigating a suspicious death." 

"That was Murder She Wrote." 

"Oh. Well, still..." 

He laughed, craning his head to see around the milk float in front. "Fucking hell, first the tractor, now this." 

"It looks like he's going that way." 

"Woohoo!" he cheered, speeding up as the float turned the corner.

You rolled your eyes. "Alright, Lewis Hamilton, slow down." 

"Oh, I'm sorry, for a second there it sounded like you were criticising my driving. You, Ellis Weiss, the woman whose name alone strikes fear into the hearts of driving instructors everywhere." 

You hit him on the arm.

He laughed, before squinting to read the road sign ahead. "I'm not seeing any directions for this place yet, are you?" 

"No. And I still don't have any signal so I can't Google Maps it. Why don't you pull over and we can ask someone for directions?" 

He gave a reluctant hum and kept driving. 

"Rav, just pull over and ask." 

"Hang on a second, let me see-"

"Why are men so opposed to getting directions?" 

"I'm not opposed, I just-" 

You reached a dead end. He rolled to a stop as you glared at him. 

"Y'know what, it's fine," he said facetiously. "Who needs marriage anyway? This isn't the 1920's, we're a progressive society."

You laughed. "May I remind you, you were the one who proposed."

He pressed his mouth into a straight line, jokingly rolling his eyes before turning the car around and driving back the way you came. 

You drove a little while longer, finally spotting a spire in the distance; the tall, stone point peeking over a row of houses.

"Is that the one?" asked Rav.

"I think it is." 

He got closer, turning onto the street where a large church stood proudly at the bottom. Perfectly kept grass bordered the beautiful stone building, winding paths and an elaborate sign near the entrance. 

"St Joseph's," Rav read. "Yeah, this is it. Thank fuck for that." 

He pulled into the carpark and you felt a strange wave of discomfort ripple through your stomach. It didn't seem to matter how many churches you visited, how much time passed; the memories were like a scar, healed but never fully gone. 

You climbed out into the cool, spring breeze, drying your sweaty palms on your trousers. 

"Here we go, church number three," said Rav. "Third time's a charm, right?"

"Well this isn't falling apart like the last one, so we're off to a good start," you replied.

You walked together down a long path, climbing the steps and pushing through the doors into the foyer. It smelled musky, smoky; frankincense and myrrh, wood and incense, rose and beeswax. There was a man pinning signs to a noticeboard, his back to you as he whistled happily to himself. 

"Excuse me," said Rav. "Are you the priest?"

The man turned. "Hm? Oh no, I'm just a volunteer." 

"Oh sorry. We were hoping we might be able to talk to the priest about possibly having a wedding here. I don't know if you might be able to... Erm..." 

"Ah, well I think he's in his office. I'll go and grab him for you." He smiled kindly. "You can come in and have a look around if you like? I'll only be a minute." 

"That's great, thank you." 

The man hurried away, disappearing through a nearby door that led to a long corridor. You walked with Rav, tentatively stepping into the chapel and looking around at the bright, vast space. 

He turned to you with an excited grin. "This is nice, isn't it." 

"It is," you said, looking up at the windows, the artwork on the walls. 

"Look." He walked down the aisle, pointing to the pews either side of him as he went. "Flowers here, right?" 

You nodded, watching as he jogged the rest of the way to stand at the altar. 

He held his hands out, gesturing to the space around him. "Yeah, this is nice. I can picture myself standing here. What do you think? Is the aisle long enough? Quick, Ellis, go there and walk down, see if you can picture it." 

You laughed and waved your hand at him, wandering over to a display of flowers instead, touching the petals gently to see if they were real and leaning forward to smell them. 

"Hi there, sorry to keep you," a voice echoed through the chapel. 

It sent a chill down your spine; the deep, rich tone seeping straight into your bones. You glanced over your shoulder, eyes widening in shock as the priest walked right past you, the sight of him leaving you frozen, staring at him as he met Rav in the middle of the aisle and reached for a handshake. 

There was a moment where you thought you were imagining it. The tall frame, dark curls and pale skin nothing more than a ghost, a mirage, a sign you needed to get some sleep. Then he introduced himself, I'm Father Benedict, and you knew he was real.

"Rav, nice to meet you." He gestured over to you. "And this is Ellis." 

He turned to look at you; his smile lines melting, lips parting in a stunned silence that seemed to last an eternity. But it couldn't have been more than a few seconds before he cleared his throat, forcing a smile and making his way over to you.

"H-hi..." he said breathlessly, reaching out his hand. "Nice to meet you." 

You glanced down at his trembling fingers, conceding after a moment with a weak handshake. 

Rav began to talk, but his voice was nothing more than a muffled buzz in your ears. Your eyes glazed over, losing focus as Father Benedict walked back over to him.

"Yeah, I apologise for showing up like this," Rav said. "I know it's a shot in the dark that you'll have an opening at such short notice. But the church we were supposed to be having the wedding at burned down." He laughed in disbelief. "Like literally burned down to the ground. Talk about a bad omen." 

Father Benedict chuckled. But the sound was shallow, half-hearted, his eyes flitting over to you every few moments. 

"Yeah I can- I can have a look. What's er, what's the date you're after?" he asked. "I'll check my... erm... my... calendar- book- diary. Diary, that's the word." 

"June..." Rav hesitated, looking over at you.

"Seventh," you said. 

"Seventh, right." 

You rolled your eyes. 

"Okay," Father Benedict nodded. "Okay, let me just go and erm... Have a- Let me check." 

He walked out of the chapel, and it felt like you'd been holding your breath the entire time. You blew out a soft, shaking exhale as Rav walked over to you. 

"He's alright, isn't he," he said. "Better than the priest this morning who kept staring at your tits."  

"What? No, I liked him. Made me feel wanted." 

"Fuck off," he laughed, immediately covering his mouth in regret. 

You gave a weak smile. 

He narrowed his eyes. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You seem a bit... I don't know." 

"No I'm... It's just... I think I might be getting a cold or something. Bit headache-y." 

He gave you a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. 

Father Benedict returned, his eyes focusing immediately on Rav's hand on your shoulder. He fell silent for a moment before snapping out of it, shaking his head and looking down at the diary in his hands.

"S-sorry, could you just remind me of the date you wanted again?" 

Rav nodded. "It's June..." 

"Seventh," you said again.

"Okay, right, er..." Father Benedict cleared his throat, flicking through the pages. "So I do already have a wedding on the seventh. But Friday the sixth is open, or if you really want a Saturday, the following week is a possibility; the fourteenth?"

Rav looked at you, then down at the ground as he thought about it. "Yeah, no either of those should work. We know the owners of the venue so we should be able to swap the dates around. Could I... Can we get back to you?" 

"Yes, yes no problem." He closed the diary. "I er, I have somewhere to be, shortly, but if you want to come back tomorrow morning, we could sit and go through everything. Usually we'd need six months notice but, with the... fire and what not, I'm sure we can work something out; squeeze in your preparation, Saturday day, talk about costs and everything." 

"Yeah, that'd be great. Thank you." Rav looked at you, as though seeking approval. 

You gave another weak smile.

"No problem," Father Benedict replied, glancing at you again. 

You began walking towards the exit, and you couldn't quite believe that was it; a quick conversation, a handshake, a 'nice to meet you' as though you were nothing but strangers. You weren't sure what the alternative would have been; a hug, tears, a blazing row? Perhaps it was best to leave it like this, to run without another word, just like he'd done to you. 

But all of a sudden, there was a rush of white noise above you, growing louder until it was deafening. You looked up at the ceiling in confusion, then over to the windows as rain began to stream down the glass. 

"Oh my god," you muttered. 

"You can't say that in a church," said Rav. 

You groaned. "We parked so far away." 

"Tell you what, you wait here and I'll go and get the car. I'll drive it right up to the door."

"What? No it's fine. It's just rain-" 

"Don't be stupid. Wait there, I'll be two seconds."

He ran off before you could protest any further. You huffed and crossed your arms, hovering in the archway between the chapel and the foyer. You could hear Father Benedict moving around behind you, but you refused to turn around, as though not looking at him meant he wasn't actually there. 

You felt like a stroppy child, balled up, head turned, teeth clenched. When he first left, you'd have done anything to see him again, to hear his voice, smell his aftershave. But there was something painful about finally knowing where he'd been; knowing that for eighteen months he'd been just four hours away, starting anew like you were just an old VHS he could tape right over.

"Ellis...?" he said softly, tentatively. 

You exhaled through your nose and turned slowly, looking up at him with a heavy brow and glassy eyes. 

"Hi," he breathed, like he didn't know what else to say. 

"Hi," you replied bluntly, turning away again. 

He paused for a while, but you could hear him getting closer, feet shuffling tentatively across the floor. "H... How are you?"

You turned back and glared up at him in disbelief.

He sighed, dropping his head. "I'm sorry-"

"Don't," you interrupted. "Just don't." 

He seemed reluctant to give in, standing there staring down at you, anxiously biting his lip as he deliberated with himself. But finally, he yielded, turning in defeat and beginning to walk away. 

You watched him leave, your breath quickening, lungs bubbling with anger and confusion, sadness and grief. 

"You just... Left," you blurted out. 

He stopped, turning back to look at you. "I know." 

"No word, no explanation. You just..." You struggled to find the words, eyes darting around the chapel as they welled with tears, before finally giving up. "Why?" you whispered.

He took a long pause, head stooped. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat, forcing himself to look back up at you. "Because I was falling in love with you," he said simply, his voice nothing more than a breath.

You stared at him, the blue of his eyes so vibrant against the red in his waterline. 

"And..." he continued, taking a step towards you. "I know without a doubt that if I'd stayed, I would have just continued to fall more in love with you. And I would have loved you... more than... anything. More than..." He gestured to the church around you before shaking his head, his lip quivering. "I couldn't. I just- I couldn't..." 

"I wouldn't have ever asked you to." 

"I know that. But it wouldn't have stopped it from happening."

You pressed your mouth into a straight line, sniffing sharply and steadying your voice. "I was falling in love with you too." 

He nodded, like he already knew. 

You swallowed the urge to cry, taking a deep breath and shrugging. "Well there you go. What can you do."

He dropped his head, closing his eyes like your words hurt. 

You turned away, leaning against the frame of the archway as you waited for the beep of a car horn. 

"You're going to make a beautiful bride, Ellis," he said solemnly.

Your stomach tightened. Then you looked at him again. "I'm not the bride." 

His brow furrowed in confusion. 

"Bridesmaid," you said, pointing to yourself. 

"Oh..." he whispered. 

"Rav's fiancé had a dress fitting so she couldn't make it. Asked me to come with him instead because she didn't trust him to find a new church on his own." 

He exhaled a shaking breath, the corner of his mouth twitching with a relieved smile. "So you're- So you're not... Seeing anyone?" 

You shook your head. "No one's been worthy of me yet..." 

He gave a subtle smile, but your face remained stony. 

There was a loud beep and you turned to see Rav's car waiting near the door. You glanced back over your shoulder. "Good to see you, Father."

You rushed outside without waiting for a reply. The rain was warm, falling so hard it hurt as it pelted your skin. You tried to keep your breaths even as you hurried towards the car, a painful lump lodged in your throat. 

"Ellis! Ellis, hold on!"

You stopped at the passenger door, turning to see Father Benedict running down the church steps after you. He halted at the bottom, chest heaving, eyes wide. 

You stared at him, waiting for him to speak. 

"I..." he stammered. "I felt the urge to chase you but I didn't actually think through what I'd say once I got here..."

You blinked at him.

"D-do... Do you- could we maybe talk? I've got some work this afternoon but-" He pointed to a pub across the road. "We could get a drink, maybe? This evening? If you're not busy...?" 

You looked at the pub, then back to him.

"I know I don't deserve it," he said, wiping the rain out of his eyes. "But if you could give me... an hour of your time..." 

You sighed and shook your head. "Yeah," you finally said. "Yeah, okay."

He let out a relieved sigh, nodding with a slight smile. "Okay. Okay, erm... I can be over there for eight?" 

"Okay." 

"Okay."

You pulled the handle and got into the car, slicking your wet hair back with your hands. 

"What was that about?" asked Rav. 

"Oh, nothing, he erm... he just needed me to remind him of the dates again." 

He began to drive and you sat in silence, shocked, shivering. The church grew smaller in the wing mirror until you could no longer see it all, the rain easing, a double rainbow emerging in the sky above you. 

Rav glanced over at you. "Are you alright?" 

You nodded, staring out of the window, the quaint town looking entirely different to you now. 

The Poplar and Dove. Why did pubs always have such odd names? What did trees and birds have to do with beer, fruit machines and sticky carpets? 

You stood under the awning of the pub, wringing your hands nervously as you waited for 8pm to come. You'd gotten there earlier than you'd meant to, and though you could have just gone inside, you couldn't bring yourself to seem eager. 

You wished you'd packed nicer clothes than the t-shirt, long denim skirt and trainers you were wearing. But as a man stumbled out onto the street in oil-covered overalls and work boots, you almost felt overdressed.

It was 8:01 when you finally drew in a deep, anxious breath and went inside, the smell of beer hitting you like a boozy cloud as you pushed through the doors. It was quieter than you'd expected; a low hum of conversation as a television played quietly above the bar, an old song drifting from a jukebox in the corner. You slipped through a group of men, their hands and faces smattered with motor oil like the one you'd seen outside.

You tried to not make it obvious you were looking around, standing at the bar as you scanned the room quickly. What if he didn't come? What if he'd changed his mind at the last minute and stood you up? You'd have no one to blame but yourself; already dreading telling your sister you'd agreed to this at all.

"Ellis!"

You turned to see him in the corner, pointing to a drink on the table in front of him and waving you over. You couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief, pushing through another group of people to get to him. 

"Rum and Coke," he said as you sat down opposite him. "I hope that's still...?" 

"Yeah, yes. That's great. Thanks." You hooked your bag onto the back of the chair and took a sip - the rum was spiced, your favourite kind.��

He was even more beautiful than you remembered, and it annoyed you greatly. His casual shirt was open at the collar, sleeves rolled up to the elbow as he clasped his long fingers together in front of him. His curls were fluffy, falling slightly over his brow and framing his eyes. 

Those eyes. God. You took an extra sip of your drink. 

"Thank you for showing up," he said.

You gave a halfhearted smile.

"I know I don't deserve it..." 

There was a lull; an awkward pause as you both shifted in your seats. There'd never been an uncomfortable silence between you before. Even in the moments no one spoke, it was always pleasant, content. 

"So, what's it like around here?" you asked. 

His eyes rounded for a moment, like he was taken aback, not expecting you to make small talk. You weren't expecting yourself to make small talk either. 

"It's, er, It's- Nice," he said. "The parish is a lot bigger, so more work. But the town itself is... It's quiet." 

You nodded. 

"Why did your friends choose it for their wedding?" he asked.

"Camilla - the bride - grew up here." 

"No way," he laughed softly. "How did you meet her?" 

"Through a work thing. And Rav's my downstairs neighbour. I introduced them." 

"Ah, so you're basically Cupid." 

"I expect they'll be naming their first born Ellis," you said, unable to resist a smile. 

You'd planned to walk into that pub with fire in your belly, venom on your tongue. You'd gone over the things you wanted to say in the shower, practiced arguing with him in the mirror as you got ready. Yet there was something about him, like a sedative, that made it impossible to do anything but talk. 

"So Camilla's a photographer?" he asked between sips of his drink. "Editor?" 

"Oh, erm, no. I don't work at the studio anymore," you replied. "I'm a freelance book cover designer now; met her at a publishing thing." 

He smiled proudly. "You always wanted to do that." 

"I did." 

"Congratulations." 

"Thanks." you said shyly, bringing the glass to your lips. 

"Is that a tattoo?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah." You lifted the sleeve of your t-shirt to reveal a small, fine ink design on the inside of your upper arm. 

He leaned forward slightly, squinting to look at it more closely. 

"Why?" you asked. "Is it like... A cardinal sin or something?"

"No, I just couldn't see what it was." He laughed and relaxed back into his seat. "I like it." 

"Thanks. I've got another one as well, but if I tried to show you that we'd probably get kicked out." 

There was a subtle glint in his eye, making you realise what you'd said.

"I didn't mean for that to sound so..." You shook your head. "Sorry."

He chuckled quietly. "There's a guy in my congregation; biggest, buffest guy you've ever seen. Bald head, covered, and I mean covered in tattoos. And when I tell you he is the sweetest, gentlest most devoutly catholic man I've ever met, it's incredible."

"I bet he gives really good hugs."

"Oh absolutely."

You clinked your nails against the side of your glass, filling another awkward silence, letting the last of the nervous energy out through your fingertips. 

"How's your sister?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah, she's good," you replied. "She actually just had another baby."

"She did? Oh that's wonderful." 

"Mhm, a few months ago. Another girl." 

"What's her name?" 

You glared at him, pressing your lips together reluctantly. 

"Oh come on, it can't possibly be more out there than Soleil," he laughed.

"Eulalie." 

"You-lay-what?" 

You giggled. "Eulalie. It's French as well, apparently." 

"Well, they certainly love a unique name, don't they." 

"I know. I'm going to have to call my kid Keith or something, just to restore the balance." 

"Ah, little baby Keith." 

You lifted your glass, speaking before taking another sip. "What's the worst name you've ever baptised?" 

"I'm sure we've had this exact conversation before." 

"I don't think so." 

"We have. The woman with the twins?" 

You shook your head, looking up at the ceiling as you tried to think back. 

"I definitely told you. Don't you remember? We were lying in bed one night and..." he faltered suddenly, losing his train of thought and pressing his fingers to his mouth to disguise it. 

You wondered if the memory of you in his bed was too painful, or perhaps it was just embarrassing, an uncomfortable reminder of how close you once were. 

"Were they called something like Paco and Rabanne?" you asked. 

He laughed, his shoulders relaxing again. "Dolce and Gabbana." 

"That's it. Yes, I do remember. Those poor children." 

He smiled before shifting in his seat, reaching into the back pocket of his trousers and pulling out his wallet and keys. He placed the keys on the table and opened the wallet, sifting for money.

"Are you still driving the old car?" you asked, gesturing to the keys.

"Nope." He grinned. "And this new bad boy I've got has - get this - a working passenger door and air-con that actually blows cold air."

You gave a sarcastic, impressed whistle. "Living the dream." 

"I know. It's funny, when I bought it my first thought was 'Ellis would love this'."

"Why?" 

"Because it's an automatic so you wouldn't be able to stall it." 

You rolled your eyes. "Well actually, I have my license now, and I drive a Lamborghini, so..." 

"Really?" 

"Obviously not." 

"Fuck sake." He burst into laughter. "Do you want another drink?" 

You looked down at your rum and coke, surprised to see how much you'd already drank. You promised yourself you'd only stay for one. Yet there you were, nodding and watching him walk up to the bar to buy you another. 

It was hard to connect him to the man who'd left you broken and confused eighteen months ago. Hard to accept that as he laughed at your jokes and asked about your family, there was a part of him that was capable of such carelessness and cruelty. 

"Here you go," he said, placing a new drink in front of you.

You looked down at it for a moment, then up to him. "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?" 

His face softened, the smile he'd sat down with falling away. 

"Come on, you knew I was going to ask at some point." You shrugged.

He remained quiet, rubbing his mouth in deliberation. "I..." He inhaled through his nose, letting it out again slowly. "I didn't decide to leave until that last night. I know that doesn't make it any better, but I swear to you it wasn't some big, thought-out departure I'd planned ages in advance. I just... I got scared." 

"Scared of what?" 

He paused. "There was a moment that night when we were sitting together; I told you there was nowhere else I'd rather be than with you. And suddenly it dawned on me; Fuck, I am falling in love with this woman. I've made a vow of clerical celibacy, a vow to devote myself to the church and to God and to put that before anything else in my life. Yet here I am, wanting to be nowhere else but with her..."

You stayed quiet, watching him fidget with his hands as he spoke. 

"I knew then that I couldn't stay." He lowered his voice. "So I did the terribly selfish thing of giving myself one last night with you. I made love to you, I kissed you before I left the next morning, and I suppose in a way I convinced myself that that was the goodbye." 

You swallowed. "If I hadn't randomly turned up here today, you'd have let me live the rest of my life not knowing any of that..." 

"I know. And trust me, Ellis, not a day has gone by where I haven't hated myself for it. But the way I would have loved you.... I have no doubt it would've eclipsed everything." He tilted his head to catch your gaze with his own. "I had to get away." 

You wrapped your hands around the glass in front of you, straightening your spine and clearing your throat. His words were like whiskey; his confession a painful burn, the truth a soothing warmth. Your only fault had been that you were loved, and you couldn't help but wonder how much easier it would have been to know that; perhaps you wouldn't have spent so long sitting alone in the dark. 

"Do you not think I deserved to know that?" you asked.

"Of course. But would it have made it any easier?" 

"Well... I'm not sure there's any easy of way of hearing someone say they'd rather be celibate than with you."

He shook his head, chewing his lip to hold back a smirk. "That's not fair." 

"I have a year and a half of pent up anger inside me. Let me make jokes." 

"Fair enough." 

You scanned his face, finishing off your first drink before moving swiftly to the second. "Are you happy with the decision you made?" 

He opened his mouth to speak when a sudden, roaring cheer erupted through the pub. You looked over your shoulder, watching the group of men celebrating a goal on TV. They bounced around, throwing their arms around each other as lager splashed over the rims of their glasses.

When you turned back to Father Benedict, he was smiling at them, laughing softly as he watched their roistering from across the room. But there was something melancholic about his expression; no lines in his cheeks, no crinkle between his brows or at the corners of his eyes. 

He returned his attention to you, realising you'd been watching him. "Not as happy as that," he said. 

You exhaled a laugh. 

"Ellis, I... I can't tell you how many times I've thought about what I'd say to you if I ever saw you again. The truth of the matter is, I don't know. I don't know if I'm dedicating my life to a God that doesn't exist. I don't know if any of it's real, I have no proof. But I really fucking hope it is. And what I do know is that I chose to become a priest because it allows me to help people, and inspire and encourage and share that hope with them, every single day." He paused. "I just never predicted I'd meet you."

You picked up your glass, swirling the ice around, making the liquid bubble and fizz. Then you sighed, meeting his gaze again. "I get it," you said. "I do, I get it. One of us would always have had to give up a part of themselves to be with the other. Either you would've had to leave clergy, or I'd have had to concede to being someone's secret lover for the rest of my life. And let's face it, neither of us would've expected that of the other." 

He looked sad, brows curved upwards over glistening eyes.

"Right person, wrong... everything else." You shrugged. "Our paths just crossed too late." 

His throat bobbed as he swallowed, his eyes never leaving you. 

"I just hope you know that the collar you wear isn't what makes you a good person," you said. "You gave me hope when I really needed it. And that had nothing to do with God or church or sermons... It was you." 

He smiled, before dropping his head and clearing his throat. "You're being far more gracious to me than I deserve." 

"I know."

The TV above the bar was muted, the jukebox switched off. A strong smell of lemon disinfectant drifted through the air as a barmaid pushed around a mop bucket, another collecting glasses and wiping down surfaces. There was no one left, the lights raised to full brightness, chairs stacked on tables around you like the battlement walls of a castle. 

You'd talked through the end of the football match, through the noise of drunken punters and the bell for last orders. You'd talked as the crowds dwindled away, as the sky turned black beyond the windows and your glasses emptied to dregs of melted ice. 

It was like no time had passed since he left. You'd never understood that expression before; how could absence not change things? How could a river erode with time and water still flow the same way? But you got it now. With every joke he laughed at, every facial expression he understood and insignificant detail he remembered, it was clear your bond had never severed. It had just been frozen, lying in wait until something came to thaw it out. 

He was covering his face as you spoke, shoulders shaking as he laughed into his hands. 

"It's true!" you said. "They called the police and everything." 

"They did not call the police!" His laugh grew heartier, tears forming in his eyes.

"They did! I had to sit and explain to two uniformed officers that I hadn't meant to walk out of the shop with the coat on."

"Why were you even wearing it?" 

"I tried it on as a joke because it was so fucking ugly. Then Soleil decided to turn into Usain bloody Bolt and run outside at full speed into the busy street." 

A tear spilled onto his cheek. He wiped it away, still chuckling to himself. 

"I told Mara she was nuts for trusting me with her child," you said.

"Maybe next time try a soft play centre or a park, y'know, instead of a high end clothing shop." 

"Well you just have all the answers, don't you." 

He smiled, shaking his head and leaning back in his chair. "Just giving you some advice so you don't go losing Keith in a Selfridges one day." 

You laughed. "Keith will be kept on one of those baby leashes until he's eighteen." 

You could feel a hair on the side of your nose, rubbing your finger over it a few times. He began speaking, but you couldn't concentrate, the itch on your skin too distracting. You tried to wipe it away again. 

"Because then I went-" He stopped. "What's the matter?" 

"There's something on my face, it's driving me mad." 

He sat forward, gesturing for you to lean over the table to him. You did as he instructed, watching as he brought his face close to yours, examining the side of your nose for a moment before seeming to lose focus, his eyes softening as they trailed slowly from your eyes to your lips then back again. 

"Father," you said. "I'm going to say something you used to say to me all the time." 

"What's that?" 

"You need to stop looking at me like that..." 

He dropped his head and breathed out a laugh. "I apologise," he said, gently pressing the tip of his finger to the side of your nose, holding it up to show you a small black wisp. "Eyelash." 

"Thanks," you replied, sitting back down. 

"You know you can just call me Ben, by the way," he said. 

"I know, but, I don't-" You shrugged shyly. "I only ever really called you that when we were..." 

"Ah." 

"Yeah..." 

"Excuse me, guys," said one of the barmaids as she approached your table. "We're going to be locking up in a few minutes." 

Father Benedict glanced around the deserted pub, the wet floors and stacked chairs. "Oh, god, sorry. We didn't even realise-"

"It's okay," she replied kindly. "You looked like you were having a nice time, we didn't want to disturb you." 

"Thank you, we'll get out of your way." 

You stood up, grabbing your bag and hooking it over your shoulder as Father Benedict lifted his chair onto the table, making his way around to yours and doing the same. The women behind the bar smiled appreciatively as one of them unlocked the door to let you out. You almost felt embarrassed that you'd let yourself get so carried away, talking so far past closing time, your conversation the only sound inside the empty pub. 

You stepped out into the dark, chilly night, light rain falling in a mist that glittered under the streetlights. You crossed your arms over your chest to hide your nipples, suddenly very aware of how thin your t-shirt was. The street was quiet, the church nothing but a dark, imposing silhouette on the other side of the road. 

"Where are you staying?" asked Father Benedict. "I only had a couple of drinks so I can drive you wherever you need to go." 

"Oh, no, don't worry. My Airbnb's not far from here so I'm just going to walk." 

He furrowed his brow. "They have Airbnbs around here?" 

You laughed. "Yeah, it's just a little cottage, nothing fancy."

"Well I'll walk you." 

"Are you sure? You really don't have to." 

"Of course I'm sure, come on." 

You walked most of the way in silence, your impending separation like a thick cloud in the air between you. Were you to simply say goodbye? No hard feelings? See you in June for the wedding?

The cobbled roads glistened like oil in the gentle rain, the houses quiet, as though the entire town had gone to sleep. You kept your arms crossed over your chest, your eyes straight ahead. When the road was on your left, he would walk on your left, and when it was on the right, he would move again, always keeping you on the inside despite there not being a single car. 

You pointed to a row of small terraced cottages at the bottom of a steep lane. "That's me down there." 

"Which one?" 

"Hanging baskets, right at the end." 

"Wow, you weren't joking when you said it was small." 

You exhaled a short laugh. "It's all I need. Only staying two nights." 

When you arrived at the cottage, you stopped at the gate, placing a hand on it and turning to look up at him. 

"Well this was... weird," you said.

"Very," he replied. "But also really great." 

"Yeah." You paused. "Thank you for the drinks, and for walking me home." 

He smiled, but the expression quickly grew forlorn as he stared down at you. You kept your hand on the gate as you waited for him to speak, a part of you willing yourself to just go inside, while another needed to know what he was thinking.

"What?" you asked. "Do I have another eyelash on my face?" 

He shook his head with a quiet laugh. "I've missed you," he said, his voice almost a whisper. 

You sighed. "You can't say that." 

"Why?" 

"Because it's not fair. You've known where to find me... This whole time, you've known exactly where..." Your voice trailed off. 

He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath through his nose. "I told you why I couldn't come back-"

"And I said I understand. I do. But you made a choice. So you... You don't get to tell me you've missed me." You remained gentle, calm. "You can't act like something's been keeping us apart when the thing keeping us apart is you." 

"The thing keeping us apart is my vow."

"And so go and live by your vow, Father. Go and live your pious, solitary life. I am truly sorry I ever jeopardised that for you." 

He scoffed slightly. "There's no need to be sarcastic." 

"Wh-? I'm not. I'm really not." You pulled the gate shut again, turning to face him fully. "But surely you understand how much it hurts to know you see loving me and worshipping God as some kind of contradiction?" 

"I see loving you as the most easy thing I could've ever done." His voice was harsh yet quiet, frustration laced in a whisper. "But choosing to leave the clergy, to break the promises I made when I was ordained; that would've been the consequence of it."

"And I've already told you I wouldn't have expected you to do that. I understand your decision-"

"But you don't, Ellis. Not if you can stand there and tell me I don't get to say I miss you." 

You slowed your breathing, calming yourself before looking up at him. "If you truly missed me, it wouldn't have taken me randomly turning up here today for you to realise it." 

"I didn't have to realise it, because it's never not been the case." He took a step closer, speaking with more passion, intensity in his eyes. "Not a single day has gone by where I haven't thought of you. Where I haven't questioned if I made the right decision. You asked me earlier if I was happy with the choice I made, and the truth is... I don't know. Because my resolve has wavered so much more over the past eighteen months than it ever did before I left."

"And what changes now that I know that?" you replied. "Nothing. You're still going to go back to that church and I'm still going to go home on Friday. Alone."

"I don't- I don't know, I just... When I saw you there today in my church, there were ten or so minutes where I really, honestly thought you were marrying someone else," he shook his head. "And I wasn't happy for you, Ellis. I was... devastated." 

"And when you realised I was actually single, how did you feel then?" 

He blinked a few times, brows coming together, forming a crinkle at the bridge of his nose. "I felt..." 

"You felt...?" 

"Ellis you know that's not fair to ask-"

"But everything you've said to me in the last five minutes is fair?" 

You were getting angry now. The rage you'd planned to unload on him in the pub bubbling in the base of your chest. He ran away from you. Tore you apart and left you strewn across the rectory flowerbed in pieces. Now you'd finally bloomed again, and here he was, plucking at your petals. 

"Do you know what, I don't want to do this anymore," you said as you opened the gate and stepped through. "I knew meeting you tonight was a bad idea."

"Because I told you I've missed you?" he called out behind you.

You stopped and spun around. "Because everything you're saying is for your own benefit, not mine! To- to- to make yourself feel better, to unload how you feel onto me even though you know it doesn't change your decision." 

"So what would you prefer I do, Ellis? Not say anything? Walk you home and leave without another word?" 

"I'd prefer you to just fuck off," you snapped, taking in a sharp breath, stunned by your own words.

"You want me to fuck off..." he replied in dry disbelief, taking a few steps down the path towards you.

"Yes. Fuck off. Go away." Your voice quivered. You waved your hand at him dismissively and walked to the front door. "Just... Let me forget about you."

You fished through your bag with shaking hands, finding the key and struggling to push it into the lock. His eyes were on you, you could feel them, like a hand around the back of your neck. You unlocked the door and pushed it open before looking over your shoulder at him. 

"There's a reason you haven't walked away yet," you said, stepping into the cottage and turning around, placing your hand on the door and preparing to close it. "You want permission. You want to hear me ask you to choose me. But that's never going to happen. I have too much respect for myself to ever do that." 

You took a step back and swung the door shut, but there was a hard thump as it hit something on the other side, stopping it from fully closing. You pulled it back to see him standing there, palm planted against it, foot halfway over the threshold. His chest was heaving, nostrils flaring with heavy breaths. 

You stared up at him, unable to resist giving an insolent shrug, a brattish shake of your head. It seemed to annoy him even more, the muscle in his jaw twitching as he clenched his teeth.

"Wh-"

He interrupted you with a sudden kiss, his hand gripping the back of your head as his lips pressed firmly against yours. You lost yourself for a moment, swept away in the passion of the unexpected rush. Your mouth began to move in time with his, hot breath and sweeping tongues, but then you stopped, placing your hands on his chest and gently pushing him away. 

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath to quell the anger rising up your throat, before glaring at him through your lashes. His face was still close, lips parted, eyes glassy. You wanted to push him away, but you couldn't; any sense of logic you possessed clouded by impulse. 

You gave in, letting your body take over, wrapping your hands around the back of his neck and pulling him down into a fevered, forceful kiss. He curled his fingers into your hair, holding it in fistfuls as you stumbled back into the cottage. You slammed the front door, grabbing him by the shirt as you moved in a mess of teeth and tongues, fingernails and clumsy missteps through the small, open living space. 

Your backside made contact with a dining table first. He gripped your hips and lifted you onto it as you continued to kiss with unwavering ferocity. You began pulling at your skirt, working impatiently to drag the heavy, stiff material up your legs as he used one hand to unbutton his trousers, the other helping to push the skirt over your thighs. His breaths were heavy, laboured, pouring into your open mouth as he freed himself from his underwear, like he'd been aching, desperate for release. 

You reached down and slid your fingers into your underwear, the thin cotton so wet it gave little resistance as you moved it to one side, parting your legs wider to let him stand between them. His lips broke away from yours, just long enough to spit into his hand, coating the head of his cock before sweeping you back into another kiss.

He slid the tip along the seam of your pussy, using his hand to guide it inside you. You gasped at the stretch, the dull burn and intense pressure. You'd only slept with a couple of people since he'd been gone; a one night stand, and a short-lived fling that fizzled out after a few dates. Neither of them matched up to him. Not in size, nor skill. So much so that you'd almost convinced yourself he wasn't as good as you remembered. 

You dug your nails into the back of his neck as he sank his full length into you, the walls of your pussy moulding to the shape of him, softening, lubricating to welcome the intrusion. His throat rumbled with a groan, a hum falling from his lips as he kissed you, fucking you with a hard, steady rhythm. You whimpered into his mouth, sliding your hands down to grip his backside, encouraging him to thrust harder, deeper. He planted a palm on the table beside you to steady himself, pressing his chest against yours as he moved with more force, each snap of his hips sending a jolt through your core, making the table rock and creak beneath you. 

Your mind was blank, clouded and hazy as your body welled with pleasure; a tingling in your clit and a deep, intense pulsing in your core. You were going to be swollen after this, bruised, sensitive. But you didn't care; there was an anger inside you that you had to extinguish, and with each slam of his body against yours, you were getting closer to putting it out. 

Your body began to tense and tighten, each slide of his cock met with a growing resistance, making him breathe quickly as he worked harder to maintain his thrusts. Your thighs came together, squeezing his hips as waves of electricity began to thrash in your pelvis. He growled and grabbed your legs, forcing them apart again, and you let out a heavy moan as he sank deeper, hitting the spots that sent you floating on the precipice between pleasure and pain. 

Your back arched, and with another brush of his cock, you fell apart. He hid his face in the crook of your neck as he buried himself completely, giving in to his own orgasm as you came around him. You were shaking, your bottom lip chattering like you'd been caught in a blizzard. Every time he shifted or twitched, the echoes of your climax would ring through you, making you shudder, goosebumps pricking your arms. 

The room was suddenly so quiet in the clarity, only the rushing of your breaths and the pulse pounding in your ears filling the silence. He lifted his head and carefully pulled out of you, your centre immediately feeling tender and raw in his absence. You glanced up at him, but he couldn't bring himself to look you in the eye, and you suddenly felt nauseous. 

You slid off the edge of the table onto your feet, readjusting your underwear and pulling your skirt back down. He stayed beside you, buttoning his trousers as he kept his head down, staring at the table and pensively biting his lip. You looked at him again, and when he finally looked back, you knew; the same remorseful expression you'd seen so many times before. A face full of regret, shame, disappointment in his own lack of restraint. You sighed and shook your head, walking off into the next room, trying to ignore your shaking legs and the lump in your throat. 

You stood in the small sitting room, looking out the window into the dark back garden. You felt a tear fall down your cheek, the droplet tickling your skin as it clung to the edge of your jaw. Your lip wobbled, but you bit it to keep it still, sniffing sharply.

"Ellis...?" His voice was so soft and gentle, his footsteps light as he entered the room behind you. 

"Just go, Ben," you replied weakly, too numb to even try to turn around. 

He paused at the sound of his name on your lips. Then he took another few tentative steps towards you. 

"Please, just..." You sighed. "You... broke me. Not just when you left, but every time you treated me like a mistake." 

"You're not a mistake. You were never a mistake." 

"Was that a mistake?" You turned around, nodding towards the other room. 

He hesitated. 

"Exactly," you said. "Getting over you was the hardest thing I have ever done. And all it took was one day for me to end up right back where I started." 

"It wasn't a mistake," he whispered. "I just... I suppose I wish I'd been more... forbearing. Made it mean something, y'know. I don't regret what just happened. I regret the way it happened." 

You bit the inside of your cheek, trying desperately not to cry. But another single tear betrayed you. 

"Please don't cry," he said softly. "I can't- I never wanted to-" He sighed, walking over and wrapping his arms around you. 

You resisted at first, but you quickly yielded, letting your head fall on his chest, your arms tucked in the space between your bodies. He cradled you in his large embrace, resting his chin on the top of your head.

"I love you, Ellis." 

You closed your eyes, his words stinging as much they soothed. 

"Right person, wrong everything else," he said. 

*Tags: @evelynrosestuff @thealleydog @lexlexigogh @allie131313 @simpingbestie @ironstrange1991 @witchoftheages @hiddendiary @swds @jyessaminereads @withalittlehoney @hunterofshadows04 @slytherindoctorsat221b @diabaroxa @phoebe221 @hai-kbai @downtownshabby @dara-of-qui-zi @unfilteredmoonchild @classicrebound @bigratbitchsworld @aphroditesdilemma @bloodyxsaint @ployavengersog1 @spectaclebitch @paola-carter @gordorio @shjl15 @thedaredevilsgirl @howardtonypotts @ceccille @wllsfer @thelostsmiles @vi0letdaze @stanfanfiction @king-kongbebe-blog @sof38 @doctorscarletwitch @rmoonstoner @intrappolatatrairicordi @ehuether @dragonqueen89 @estheticwh0re @Lfp10836 @kanyewestest @star-girl-05 @theothersideofthescreen @battledress @chaosdorito @vlqueen @erratica47 @happybunnyclumsyduck @bloggerbatch @bimrwolf @chaand-sitara @dude-where-s-my-tardis @run-clever-boy @j3mj3rrica

*If you would like to be tagged in the next part, please comment below, or feel free to add yourself to the tag list here

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Thor’s child and longing for a Midgardian

Thor Odinson x child!reader

warnings:

a/n:

prompt: anon 🧀: “hi!!! Can I reqs a thor odinson x daughter reader where reader is secretly crushing on a Midgardian girl. and you know how loki can basically read minds he figures it out eventually and everyday her and uncle loki sneak to Midgard to see this girl behind thors back, but funny thing is she's never had a crush before and this one being on a Midgardian girl she's like super confused. and one day thor catches them and she has to explain how she feels abt this girl to him and he's like "....welp i love a Midgardian woman too!" And she's like super relieved and thor goes and meets her(crush) and he's super sweet to her Then thor and uncle loki help her confess to this girl and one day y/n goes to her and just tells her how she feels and by this point they are like best friends so she's super nervous but the girl likes her too and she goes back home and screams to uncle loki abt how amazing she is and what had happened while loki is just laughing at her inexperience with partners.”

you were quite the rebel, you thought

asgardian royalty with a terrible secret: you’d fallen for a midgardian

and just how were you supposed to make that work, it was laughable

heimdall always made sure to cover for you when you made your “trips”

“be sure to be back by supper, y/n. you know how your father gets” -heimdall

“yes, yes, ‘we must feast, my child!’” -you mocked

“you’d be surprised at how much you and him have in common, young one” -heimdall

“he is my father, after all. i’d hope to be like him, although i fear i’m already quite more brave and strong than he could ever hope to be” -you snarked

“be gone, thorson/dottir, before you make me chuckle” -heimdall

lol ur lil human partner made u chuckle for sure theyre so fragile

oh, and they didn’t exactly know what you were…as in a nordic “god” from the realm of asgard visiting midgard against your better judgement

“your accent is so cute, what is it exactly?” -s/o

“uh, brit—austr—slav—it’s um, well i just grew up around, you know, that area with a bunch of different accents. bit of mutt.” -you

“oh, so like, you’re from new england?” -s/o

“there’s a new england? what was wrong with the old one?” -you

yeah you were not so good at hiding that you clearly weren’t from around there

but you were learning. slowly

meanwhile on asgard

“y/n, you have a strange look upon your face” -loki “might i acquaint it to…love?”

your eyes went wide and loki gave a mischievous smile that would normal shake you a bit, but this love kept you fearless

“oh, dont you give me that look, uncle. are you mad?” -you “ah, what am i saying? ‘course you are”

“oh do i have a look? no, this is just my normal face” -loki, sarcastically

“see, that i’d believe. except you’re truly a menace when someone is happy” -loki

“not to you, oh never!” -loki “so tell me more?”

you rolled your eyes and left it to the imagination, as you weren’t quite ready to let any details go yet

and even thor was starting to get suspicious

“my child, you speak of this love yet i have not seen them! and why do i hear this from loki, am i not your father?” -thor

“yes, you are, but it’s not a big deal. let’s not get lost in the details. just young fascination, might be gone by tomorrow” -you, desperately trying to throw off the trail

he gasps

“you are lying to your own father!” -thor

“am not” -you

“our lineage does not simply become fascinated one day and bored the next, who is this person you do not wish for me to know of?” -thor

you both stare at each other

your lips curl up a bit

his do, as well

“are they of another realm?” -thor

“how did you know?!” -you

“because mine is too!” -thor

“you lie to me?!” -you

“i just forgot to mention it” -thor

“convenient!” -you

“midgardian?” -thor

“…you’re good” -you

“like father, like child” -thor

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @locke-writes // @sweetheartlizzie07 // @queen-destenie // @johnmurphyisqueer // @captainshazamerica // @ravenmoore14 // @canarypoint // @procrastinatingsapphictrash // @swanimagines // @randomfandomimagine // @petersgroupie // @summersimmerus // @scarthefangirl // @bad4amficideas // @sheridans-dynamos // @simsrecs // @prettysbliss // @skdkdkckfk // @simp-legend // @wild-rose-35 // @nekoannie-chan // @evilcr0ne // @v0idl1nq // @ruvaakke // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @amirahiddleston // @beth-gallagher22 // @brutal-out-here // @rqmanoff // @elenavampire21 // @mymelodymia // @pheonixfire777 // @deanzboyfriend //

[tealeavesandthorns]

"It's 4am. You need sleep." (Young?)

Lack of Sleep Starters! - @dontcxckitup

"I, am a strong, confident woman. I do not need sleep!" Maria replied stumbling slightly. She was very, very drunk, the evening had started off nicely in the pub with some of his army friends and others and then it had gotten raucous. The good time had led to Maria singing on impromptu karaoke, plus having a whale of a time dancing and not just with Gareth, though he'd kept very close.

Now they were supposed to be walking back to where she was staying near the base to get some sleep. Maria however kept getting distracted.

"I need- what I need is!" She chimed before looking at Gareth again, seeming mesmerized by him. "You are suspiciously good looking aren't you."

[wheels-of-despair]

The Family Holiday Pairing: Eddie Munson x You Summary: It's December of 1985, and Evil Woman is ready to spend her first real Christmas with Eddie… why is he being weird about it? Contains: Christmas stuff, insecurity, love, a meaningful gesture, tears, being hopelessly devoted to Eddie Munson, a happy ending. Words: 1.6k

"We're putting the tree up and decorating tonight. Probably end up drinking some hot chocolate and watching something Christmas-y. You in?"

You and Eddie had finally been sprung from detention, and thinking about tonight's festivities was the only thing that had kept you awake. The rest of the boys had escaped your cruel fate and gone home when they were supposed to, so it was just the two of you in the van now.

"You need help?"

"What, like 'oh please, big strong man, won't you come help us feeble women-folk put up this heavy plastic tree'?" you tease. "Don't NEED help, but we'd love for you to come hang out."

"Actually…" he licks his lips and concentrates on the road. "I think I might just go home tonight."

"What?" Eddie Munson, passing up Family Fun Time? And hot chocolate?!

"I'm, uh… I'm just really tired. Think I might be coming down with something."

You reach over to feel his cheek, which does look flushed and feel a little warm.

"Are you okay?" He hadn't said anything. Not that he'd been allowed to make a peep during the last hour, but he'd seemed fine at lunch.

"M'fine, just wanna sleep."

You watch him suspiciously as he turns onto your road. You know something's brewing in that twisted little mind of his, but you don't know what.

"Okay," you agree, deciding not to pry. Maybe he just needs a little time to think about whatever he's got going on, and he'll get over it on his own. He pulls into your driveway.

"You want us to wait and do it tomorrow?" It would probably require a little groveling, but you'd do it. You'd do anything for him.

"Nah, don't change your plans on my account."

"Okay," you say again, a little hurt. "If you change your mind, you know where we'll be."

"Don't wanna get you sick too."

"Eddie, you had your tongue down my throat just a few hours ago. That ship has sailed." You tilt your head and wait for a smile. He forces one that doesn't reach his eyes. Maybe he really is getting sick.

"Call me if you need anything?"

He nods. You lean across the van and kiss him on the cheek, then hop out and walk to the door. He doesn't start backing out of the driveway until you've got it open. But this is the first time in forever he hasn't come in with you. It feels strange. You don't care for it.

He didn't come that night, and he didn't call.

Your mother had asked about him, and you'd said he wasn't feeling well. Which, as far as you knew, was true. You thought of him the whole night, from the time you helped wind the lights around the tree, to hanging the stockings, to watching the marshmallows melt in your mediocre cocoa while some claymation special played in the background. Everything was better when Eddie was around.

He arrived the next morning to pick you up for school as usual, but still felt a little distant in the seat next to you. You let the boys ramble about the current campaign while you watched him out of the corner of your eye.

You made an effort to act normally throughout the day. Like nothing was wrong. Like he hadn't unexpectedly bailed on something he was supposed to be a part of. Like he wasn't being weirder than usual.

Despite your efforts to act normal, Eddie remained quiet. He nodded and let out a half-hearted laugh or two at your attempts to break him out of his funk on the ride home. When he pulled into your driveway, he didn't even turn off the van. The rest of the boys had gone to Jeff's to play video games. No one was home. Eddie should be jumping at the opportunity to spend some time alone with you. Unsupervised. Instead, he glances at you like he's waiting for you to get out.

You turn in your seat to face him.

"Alright. What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit. Tell me what's going on."

"It's nothing."

"Edward."

He sighs.

You cross your arms. "I'm not getting out of this van until you tell me, so you better either start talking, or get fucking comfortable."

He turns off the ignition, then sits quietly for a moment.

"Don't you ever get sick of me hanging around all the time?"

"Nope. Try again."

"Doesn't your mom?"

"You are aware that she refers to you as her favorite child, correct?"

He huffs out an exasperated breath, and it fogs up the windshield in front of him.

"Look. I appreciate you including me. I really do. But Christmas is a family holiday. Like, THE family holiday."

"You ARE family, dummy."

"I'm not."

"You are. You're more family than most of the people I'm related to."

"That's not how it works."

"That is absolutely how it works. I chose you. WE chose you. Those other people are just assholes we happen to share DNA with."

"Look, just…" He grips the steering wheel. "I appreciate you trying to include me, but eventually you're all gonna get sick of me. I don't want to wear out my welcome."

Your heart sinks. Your annoyance fades. How has he not realized that he's your entire world?

"Eddie, you're always welcome, wherever I am," you tell him gently. "You're my favorite person in the world. I fucking love you. I want you with me all the time. Whether it's Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or a random Wednesday, or the day we get married."

He stares at his lap.

"What's it gonna take for you to realize how much you mean to me?"

He shrugs.

And then, you get an idea.

"Come with me."

You get out of the van, but he doesn't. You walk to his side and open the door.

"C'mon, I want to show you something."

He slides down and follows you with his feet dragging, like a big insecure baby. You kick off your boots and drop your jackets, and you take his hand and lead him to the living room. You come to a stop by the fireplace.

"Look."

He lifts his head and takes in the garland and the holiday-scented candles and the nutcracker and the four stockings…

You can see him re-count.

He looks to you with tears welling up in his eyes.

"Told you so."

Your mom has made him a stocking. It matches the ones you and your brother have had since you were babies. She's even stitched Eddie's name onto it. His stocking fits right in, just like he does.

He bursts into tears. He hides his face in his hands and sobs, and you wrap yourself around him the best you can.

You want to tell him that THIS is why you wanted him to come over last night. That you wanted your mom to see his face when he saw his stocking for the first time. That you wanted him hang it himself. But the lump in your throat won't allow it. So you hold him and let him cry and hope that he finally gets it: He's family. The best kind of family; the kind you all chose, because you all love him.

His eyes are red and puffy when he pulls away from you. You brush his hair away from his face, before the tears can dry and glue it to his skin. You don't know what to say. Apparently neither does he.

You take his hand and tilt your head toward the tree. You lead him to it and flip on the power strip. The tree comes to life. You cross the room and switch off the overhead light, letting the tree's colored bulbs fill the room with a warm glow.

You return to the tree and sit down in front of it, lie back, and maneuver your head underneath the branches.

"C'mere," you finally get out. Eddie sits on the floor beside you and copies your movements, his head coming to rest beside yours on the white blanket your mom has wrapped around the base. You reach for his hand and hold it tightly as you stare up at the inside of the tree.

"When I was a kid," you begin, finding your voice again in the familiar calm of the tree's glow, "I used to spend half the holiday season under the tree. Dad always insisted on a real one, but Mom fought him and switched to a fake one after an unfortunate incident involving sap in my hair. THAT was fun."

Eddie chuckles. You're so happy to hear that sound again. You lie there and hold his hand and stare up at the twinkling lights in a peaceful silence.

"I haven't had a stocking since my mom died."

"Really?" you ask, turning your head toward him.

"Mhm," he hums, still staring upward.

"Wayne wasn't a Santa Man?"

"No chimney in a trailer," he says matter-of-factly, like he's heard it a few times before. "Wayne said that's why Santa sometimes forgot to bring me stuff at Mom and Dad's house. Because they didn't have a chimney either, and Santa couldn't remember how to get in."

Wayne's solution brings a smile to your face.

"Did Santa figure out how to get in at Wayne's?"

"He left the presents on the porch," Eddie grins. "Me and Wayne would put out a can of beer and a bag of Fritos for him. He said Santa would want something salty after all those cookies."

You laugh. "Good thinkin', Wayne."

Eddie finally turns his head toward you.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Eddie."

This is the fic that I fought for 2 days, posted, trashed... and then took another run at and gave it a better ending, inspired by this thought from @munson-memories. 🥰

[estinesstories]

𝓒𝓸𝓻𝓴 𝓘𝓽, 𝓟𝓲𝓰. 𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙩 1-2

𝙃𝙖𝙯𝙗𝙞𝙣𝙃𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙡 𝙭 𝙁!𝙋𝙞𝙢𝙥!𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝘼 𝙡𝙤𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙖 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙩𝙬𝙤, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮… 𝙨𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨! 𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩, 𝙤𝙧 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙖𝙨𝙠. 💗

𝙉𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨: 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙥𝙞𝙢𝙥 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙤𝙧 𝙞𝙣 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡, 𝙎𝙝𝙚’𝙨 𝙉𝙤 𝙇𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙮 (𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧, 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮 😞), 𝙨𝙝𝙚’𝙨 𝙖 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙧/𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙗𝙤𝙧𝙣 𝙢𝙞𝙭, 𝙨𝙝𝙚’𝙨 𝙖 𝙗𝙞𝙩 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙑𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙤.

𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: 𝘼 𝙛𝙚𝙬 𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙠𝙨 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙑𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙤, 𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙚 𝙖𝙨𝙠𝙨 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙡 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙖 𝙩𝙧𝙮. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙧 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙑𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙞𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙪𝙨𝙨 𝙧𝙚𝙙𝙚𝙢𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡𝙨, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣’𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙚.

𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝙑𝙪𝙡𝙜𝙖𝙧 𝙇𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙪𝙖𝙜𝙚, 𝙑𝙞𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝘼𝙗𝙪𝙨𝙚, 𝙎𝙚𝙭𝙪𝙖𝙡 𝙏𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙞𝙚𝙨, 𝙎𝙚𝙭𝙪𝙖𝙡 𝙨𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 5 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙥𝙝𝙨.

(𝙃𝘼𝙕����𝙄𝙉 𝙃𝙊𝙏𝙀𝙇 𝘽𝙀𝙇𝙊𝙉𝙂𝙎 𝙏𝙊 𝙑𝙄𝙑𝙕𝙔𝙋𝙊𝙋! 𝘾𝙍𝙀𝘿𝙄𝙏𝙎 𝙏𝙊 𝘿𝙄𝙑𝙄𝘿𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙂𝙊 𝙏𝙊 @𝙘𝙖𝙛𝙚𝙠𝙞𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙣𝙚! 𝙄’𝙢 𝙜𝙡𝙖𝙙 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙖 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙩𝙬𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨, 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙄 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙩. 𝘼𝙡𝙨𝙤, 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙡𝙪𝙧𝙧𝙮 💗)

You took a sip of your champagne as you felt the husky-hellhound’s tongue explore your insides, his claws burying deep into your thighs as you moaned to him in pleasure and caressed the top of his head. He groaned as you gently massaged behind his ears and threw your head back. Your face scrunched in pleasure as you felt your climax building, the knot in your gut getting tighter and tighter. You swallowed the last of your drink before placing the glass on the table next to the couch you were sitting on, grasping your now free hand onto the demon’s shoulder and squeezing tightly. “I’m close,” you breathed, looking down at him with glazed over, half-lidded eyes. He looked up at you hungrily, speeding up as his grunt vibrated inside of you. So, so close…

Suddenly, the door to your lounge swung open, a small imp woman crashed in with a mountain of files in one hand, the other hold a Vivzpod. You initially were going to buy Voxtech for the companies electronics, but you knew there was something suspicious about the slogan “trust us” and the fact the owner of it is a literally program and could hack your system anytime he wanted. You barely spared the imp a glance, eyebrow twitching a bit as you tried not to moan about. You kept caressing the top of the hellhound’s head to tell him to keep going.

“Miss Star, I was wondering what I should do with all of these analysts and analytics Mr. Zany dropped off at the front. He said to give it to you or do it myself, but I understand we are both extremely busy.” She rambled, not taking her eyes off the iPad she was holding as she tapped it with her tail. As small as she was, she was freakishly strong. You avoided looking at her and held in a gasp as the demon’s sharp tongue stabbed right into your sweet spot.

“Honey, you aren’t supposed t-to be carrying all ‘at, your pregnant,” you growled, legs quivering. “And just go give it to Jasin, he never fuckin’ does anything anyways.”

And with that, she nodded and left, leaving you and the hellhound back to your activities. Moments later, with a loud moan of his name, you released your fluids onto his tongue. He lapped up your cum onto his tongue before looking up at you. You looked at him with drowsy eyes, panting lightly. He bared his teeth as he showed you his tongue, before closing his mouth and swallowing, and showing you his new, clean tongue. You smirked and took his jaw in your hand, pulling him up and towards your face as you saw his eyes turn excited. You ghosted his lips slightly as you saw the very tip of his tail sway in anticipation. You looked back to him and whispered in his ear, “good boy.”

His tail then wagged more, drool building up in his mouth. “You deserve extra tonight. Don’t worry, I’ll make it all about you.” You muttered dangerously, before sending him off. As the door closed, you pulled your panties back up and smoothed out your skirt before leaving the room. As you left and started walking down the hall, your phone rang out and you were bombarded with your workers around in the studio rooms. You picked up the call and put it to your ear.

“Hello? Who’s this?” You asked as you shook your head at a color palette for the new porn shot in one of your pornhub company accounts.

“Hi, Mrs. Star! It’s Charlie!” Her voice rang in the phone, and you smiled immediately.

“Oh, Charlie! Please, call me Y/n.” You giggled at her before giving a thumbs up to a sinner man holding up a pair of hot pink fish net tights. “What did you need, hon?”

“Well… I’m sure you’ve heard about my hotel…” Charlie says, unsure. Like you would just hang up on the spot or cuss her out the moment she even mentioned such a thing. You hummed, looking over the outfits of your new actors closely as you listened to her.

“Hell yeah I have, girl. Love the idea, what about it?” You try and reassure her in your tone that you don’t hate her idea. She seemed to beam on the other end of the phone as she heard the bustle around you.

“Oh! Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come by and maybe, um… try it out?” She offered.

“Yes, girl! You look hot as fuck in that! Get more colors like that on these girls! They’ll look just as stunning as they do apart if we have them all match together.” You cheered at the girls, causing them all to blush at your praises. You went back to your phone. “I think I might have time, but you’ve gotta do something for me in return.”

You could feel Charlie go nervous on the other end. “Like… like a deal?”

“Oh, sweetheart, no!” You grimaced and chuckled at her assumption. “No, of course not. I don’t make deals with anyone, especially if it hurts them. Don’t worry, I just meant I need a few of your people. Specifically, you, your little Radio Demon friend, Angel, aaaand Angel’s little, uh, boyfriend.”

Charlie was relieved at first, but soon became confused. “Wait, why? And Angel doesn’t have a boyfriend.”

“Well, I just need your guys to help with one of my new movie scenes. Don’t worry, you and the deer don’t have to get naked, and neither do the other guy pals. I just need them for actors, and you and the deer for special effects. Also, I mean that fuckin’ cat guy that he always hangs out with.” You explained, recalling the first few calls he gave you and how he talked about this said friend. Charlie agreed to your terms and you set up the date for the recording, texting her number the script and turning off your phone. You made your way to Honey’s office with a smile and opened the door. “Hey, hun, Imma go to that little hotel on the hill in the pride ring, love you lots!”

Before she could say anything you strutted back out of the room and closed the door behind you.

When you knocked on the door to the hotel, it took a few seconds until the door was opened. When it was, it revealed the one and only Radio demon on the other side. One thing that should probably be mentioned is that you aren’t scared of anyone until they give you a reason to be. And even then, you’ve always been more terrifying. So when he opened the door and saw you set eyes on him for the first time without cowering back in fear, he was curious. His never ending smile caused you to raise a brow at him.

“Hello, my dear! And what could I do for you?” The demon inquired as he tilted his head. You smiled at him and reached a hand out for him to shake.

“Hey! I’m here for the, uh, redemption deal? Charlie told me about it!” You explained as he only looked at your hand then back to you. His smile widened as he took your hand and shook it before kissing your knuckles lightly. It made you retract your hand as gently as you could. He ignored the action entirely.

“But, of course! We welcome everyone into our hotel. Come right on in, dear.” He grinned and walked into the building with you trailing behind. You looked around curiously, your heels clicking against the floor as you looked around. Suddenly, your eyes drift to what looked like a bar, where a winged cat demon stood cleaning bottles. The moment he glanced up at you, he gave you a funny, wide-eyed look. You waved to him, causing him to avoid eye contact altogether. You rose a brow before looking back at where you now stood. It was a section of the lobby, cut out for the room of a living space, and where Charlie, Angel, and three others sat. Once they saw you, Charlie and Angel smiled. You smiled at them until you looked behind them, where he was standing. Your face dropped in a second, eyes narrowing and making said snake visibly nerve. Charlie and Angel looked a bit confused before turning to see what you were looking at.

“Pentiuos,” you hissed and crossed your arms, watching as he chuckled nervously. Charlie raised a brow.

“You two know each other?” She inquired. You let out a deep breath and rose your chin.

“He blew up my storage unit during a turf war and refused to confront me about it, let alone pay for the expenses.” You grumbled. Everyone’s eyes were now on him.

“I-I’m very sssorry, Miss Star…” he muttered out, and you just sighed.

“You’re lucky you’re these kid’s friend,” you warned. “or else I’d make you pay the expenses.”

“Okay! Well, everyone, this is Y/n. Y/n, this is Alastor and Nifty, Husk is the guy at the bar, and this is my girlfriend, Vaggie.” Charlie explained. You rose a brow.

“Is the guy at the bar always so shy?” You grimaced, watching Angels face soften.

“Yeah, he’s just a bit rough, y’ know?” He fawned. It then dawned on you. With wide eyes, you looked at him, and he knew what the look was. He nodded and you cheered internally. Suddenly, a small, high pitch squeal sounded from beneath you. As you looked down, you noticed the Nifty girl fangirling beside you. She then climbed up you and rested in between your neck and your fur coat. She giggled manically and you just chuckled.

“Soft! Soft! Soft!” She chanted in your ear and nuzzled into the coat.

Charlie continued. “Oh, and uh, there’s something I should probably tell you.”

A knock rang at the door, and Charlie went over to open it, everyone following her and even Husk gathering around as she opened the door, revealing the king of hell; Lucifer. You rose a brow at him as he flung himself on Charlie, and she acted as if this was the most awkward thing she’d ever been apart of.

They greet, everyone meets everyone, and meets you. He looks up at you with big eyes, filled with adoration. You rose a brow as a smirk grew on his face.

“Well, hello there.” He took your hand gently in his and kissed it, causing you to grimace unnoticeably. What was with these men?

“Hello, your majesty.” You said lowly, retreating your hand and smoothing out your coat. He laughed and checked his nails smugly.

“Oh, please, call me Lucifer!” He exclaimed, winking at you. You fought the urge to grimace. Suddenly, Alastor emerged from a black shadow on the floor, causing Lucifer to raise a brow. “And you are?”

“Alastor!” He emerged behind the king now, startling him a bit. He grasped the kings cane and shook it harshly, causing the kings hat to fall loose on his head and into his face. “Pleasure to be meeting you, sir, quite a pleasure.”

Despite his words, Alastor then continued to wipe his hand off gently on his coat. Lucifer fixed his hat with a scowl.

“It’s nice to finally put a face to the name,” Alastor continued sarcastically. “You are much shorter in real life!”

”Who is this? Who is this- are you the bell hop?” Lucifer sneered at Alastor.

“You might have heard of me from my radio broadcast.” Alastor exclaimed, but Lucifer only hummed at him.

“Hm. Nope! I guess that’s why Charlie called it the Has-been Hotel, hahaha!” Lucifer snarked, elbowing Charlie as he laughed.

“Hahaha! It was actually my idea,” Alastor said as he checked his nails.

“HAHA, well it’s not very clever!” Lucifer glared at Alastor with a smirk, obviously trying to rile him up.

“HA HA! Fuck you.” Alastor growled, the two now batting heads. Charlie let out a nervous laugh at this and tried breaking them up. Suddenly, you heard a small click from above you. As you looked up, you noticed the chandelier above you sway a bit side to side. Then, with a sudden snap, the whole thing shook, causing your eyes to widen and your stance to steady. With one final crack, the chandelier fell down with a mighty boom.

“Fuck!” You yelled, putting your hand up to shield yourself and everyone that could be under the chandelier by stopping its motion. Yelps and screams were heard, you kneeled down from the shock. You checked to see if anyone was still under the chandelier before walking out from under it yourself and dropping it. You looked to everyone around you, who only stared at the chandelier.

Next thing you knew, Lucifer and Alastor bursted into song. You sighed tiredly. Maybe this was a mistake.

After said musical number (and another, very emotional might I add), it was apparently decided Charlie and Vaggie go to heaven to try and work something out with the angels about redemption. You, for one, didn’t want to go near heaven. They’ve been killing everyone in hell for years, and you and your dad were constantly on edge every extermination. Since your dad was a sinner, you didn’t look like a normal hellborn, so exterminators got regularly confused and constantly tried killing you. You weren’t taking any chances.

Somehow, you all ended up at the bar after a girl named Cherri Bomb (a HUGE fan of yours) blew up one of the bars all a and demanded you go while Charlie and Vaggie were away, the blaring music hitting your ears harshly as you walked into the club. You were used to it, as you’d been to various clubs constantly as the rings’ most popular pimp. You immediately drew the attention of most in the room, men and women, sinners and hellborn alike flooding around you as you smirked at their attention, making sure to keep demons from trampling over your friends by whipping your tail at anyone who tried to separate you from them. You made your way over to the bar, some people departing from you while others hung at your forearms and begged for your attention. As you ordered a few drinks, the others soon departed to a booth somewhere. You felt hands all over you; your arms, your thighs, your ass, your tits, your neck. But you didn’t say anything. Once you got the tray of drinks and shots, you brought them over to the booth table and smiled at them, not noticing how they looked weirdly at all of the demons touching you inappropriately.

“Gotcha guys these,” you said sweetly before taking a few shots of vodka in your own hand. “And I’m gonna take these. Have fun! If you guys need anything, I’ll be right over there.”

Said there was a lounge area, where multiple people surrounded. With you being taller than everyone, you also saw who was already sitting there. Still, you strutted over, taking two bulky, strong sinner demons in your arms and strutting down a few feet away from Valentino. He seemed extremely surprised and fearful as he saw you sit down, but somehow the attraction from your last “meet up” came crawling on his pale face.

“Y/n Star, what are you doing here?” He asked in a slurred inquire, smirking as he tried keeping up his confident facade. You grabbed some of the coke from inside the crevice of your boobs and pushed one of the sinners’ heads away from you. You sprinkled and made a line of the product up his neck, taking a rolled up fifty and snorting it up. You licked the rest of the drug off of his neck slowly, causing him to shiver.

You sniffed harshly and put your arms around the boys as you grunted, “it’s a fucking club, dumbass. I’m partly known for this shit.”

He only hummed with narrowed eyes.

The higher and drunker you got with Val that night, the less you cared or even knew about the abuse he’d done on your friend. But you never got too drunk or high, not wanting to be ultimately defenseless in case your friends came to you with a problem. You talked with him a bit, giggling with him sometimes. And it was obvious Val was out of it two, he acted as if you couldn’t beat his ass with your left pinky.

You were making out with one of the sinners, touching the other’s resting bulge when you heard something, a scuffling sound, like someone falling. At first you didn’t think much of it, but then Val spoke, “Holy shit, Angel Dust! What are you doing here, baby? You didn’t get enough dick today?”

“Funny.” Angel sneered, and you finally snapped your gaze over to the two and retreated your limbs back to yourself, instead opting to only stare and wrap your arms around the demons waists. You weren’t oblivious, you knew Val was out of it, and obviously he either forgot you were here or forgot the power you had over him. You glared at them intently, watching as Angel held back Nifty while kneeling on the ground, the girl smiling manically and trying to make her way to the moth demon. Val swayed the cigarette in his hand and leaned down to Nifty.

”Who’s this Chiquita?” He snarked, baring his teeth with a smirk and causing your shoulders to tense. You felt strong hands move along your body in a sort of seductive-comforting motions, the new whores on your sides obviously trying to calm you down and get your attention back. You tried to calm down and just watched how this played out, as the other two sinners have obviously been slow to notice your presence. “You bringing me fresh meat?”

Nifty bit at him, smile still present as Val yelped and retreated back to his girls with a smirk. Nifty rasped, “I just want a taste.”

“Ah, weird…” he looked to his whore funny. “But there’s a kink for that, I’m sure.”

“Fuck off, Val.” Angle grunted as he stood, you felt a sort of pride in your chest for him, smirking and squeezing the boys at your side closer as you leaned back in your seat.

“Excuse me?” Val rose a brow warningly.

“I said fuck off!” Angel stated firmly, fists tight as Nifty climbed onto his shoulder. The whole club turned silent as the music screeched to a stop, the lights went to a normal color permanently and the crowd now trained their eyes on the scene unfolding. You watched Val carefully, begging for him to get up and try something so you could embarrass him again. “I may have to put up with your bullshit, but you ain’t fuckin with any of my friends.”

“You forget who you’re talking to,” Val growled, getting up and in Angel face but not yet touching him. A deadly glare came from your eyes as Val and Angel fought. Suddenly, a smoky, red chain appeared from Val’s cigarette, and your heart dropped. You saw the look on Angel’s face too, one of pure disbelief. The chain wrapped around Angels neck tightly, and a low growl emitted from your throat as the chain tugged Angel the ground and had him kneeling in front of Val. “What, you thought she could just take you away from me? I own you, bitch.”

Angels expression turned to one of disgust as he looked at Val with new courage. “Yeah, you do. In the studio. And you can do whatever you want to me there. Just like our deal says. But out here, I get to do what I want.”

Angel tugged on the chain and hugged Nifty close as he tried to walk off, causing Val to growl lowly. “So once again; fuck of-“

Angel suddenly braces for impact as Val lifted his hand and tried bringing it down onto the sinner’s face, but the impact never came. You growled lowly as you stood, the men staying put as everyone suddenly turned towards you in shock. Angel looked relieved and surprised as he saw you, but Val just looked downright horrified. He had forgotten you were there. You switched your gaze to Angel and softened it with a smile. You patted Nifty’s head, causing her to giggle and sway her feet. “You okay Angel? Sorry I didn’t step in before. Kinda glad I didn’t though, you really stood your ground like a boss.”

Angel smiles sheepishly. You frowned at him and continued, “I’m so sorry about the contract, I didn’t know that he still had control over you.”

“It’s fine, Y/n. Ya tried y’ best.” He sighed and looked to the ground. You looked to him sympathetically.

“Hey,” you picked his chin up and leaned down to his level. “We’ll figure something out. Just give me some time. Now, you and your friends should get going. I’ve got this.”

Angel nodded at you with a smile before turning to the rest of the gang. He smiled at Husk, who smiled warmly back. Suddenly a rip could be heard as well as a shriek and a “what the fuck!?”. You turned around and saw Nifty with a fist full of the moth demons neck fur. He giggled manically and stated, “for my collection!”

You watched them leave before turning back to Val, who was grumbling and smoothing out his fur. You walked up to him with crossed arms, heels loud against the floor. He looked up to you and stopped any motion he already had in fear. You rose a brow at him then looked to everyone who was watching. You then looked to him again.

“This is strike two. If I catch you this bullshit one more time, I’m actually gonna cut your fucking dick off.” You whispered down to him before looking over to the two sinners on the lounge, still looking over at you seductively. You smirked at them and gestured them over, took them both by the waist and faced the crowd as Val sat back and stared wide eyed in fear. “If you want to support an abusive pussy, go ahead and stay here.”

And with that, you left with the sinners and had a fun little night. After you left, everyone seemed to follow you. And suddenly, you noticed an uprising in your company while the V’s were suffering a bit. Wasn’t your fault, they were all pussies, drama queens and manipulators.

The next day you came back to the hotel and were met with Vaggie at the door. She looked tired and sad, but once she saw you, she smiled lightly. You rose your brows worriedly. “Oh no, did something happen in heaven?”

Vaggie looked incredibly guilty and looked to the ground. She seemed scared to look you in the eyes. “Sweetheart, I’m not gonna be mad about anything you did.”

She looked up at you tunny before taking a deep breath. “I’m an angel. I was an exterminator.”

Your heart dropped and your eyes widened, but you didn’t back away. You took her in your arms and hugged her tightly. “I can tell you’ve changed.” You whispered. She hugged you back softly before you both let go. “Where’s Charlie?”

“Up in her room, she isn’t the taking the news as well as you are.” She mumbled, and you smiled at her before walking inside and heading towards the elevator.

“Oh, and Y/n,” Vaggie called out, causing you to stop and look back at her. Vaggie smiled at you warmly. “Thank you for protecting Angel. We saw you through heaven last night.”

You smiled sweetly at her and chuckled. “Of course, Vaggie. I’ll always do whatever I can to protect you guys.”

𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜! 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙛𝙪𝙣 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤 𝙩𝙤. 𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙪𝙮𝙨! 💗🫶

[rikanescence]

mdni (3.7k) [heavily feminised reader] sweet summer air was for lovers, the love they made, and the sweat it produced. rolling down your back as you rolled forward, looking down at a foreign face. you liked the way he smiled and the birds chirping outside, maybe the whistling of the trees, made it all feel cinematic. a still frame of you in your prime, messy hair, head thrown back, mouth open (stuck in a smile), doing what you were best at, being a whore! for charity, of course and totally. you made the world a better place, left every man satisfied. the crime rate probably went down, too. your pussy had magical powers! you'd make a graph if you could understand one, maybe you'd ask leon to do it. maybe you'd catch your step-brother in a good mood.

step-asshole, his little ‘manly man’ cosplay with a compact tee and sweatpants as if it stopped him from being a total lame. who was he trying to impress with his stupid room? it looked like he single-handedly funded the military with all those damn guns he got from his dad, just being there for the short minute it took you to call him for dinner had you antsy. it felt like one wrong step could turn you into swiss cheese. leon was such a damn try-hard, you heard him through the thin bedroom walls and he was panting heavy from his workouts. he smelled like sweat, gunpowder, and strong tones of egoist. this summer, hot with life and opportunities, could not be ruined by your step-brother. you'd do everything in your power to avoid that, to avoid him. 

you were in a hurry to be outside all summer in nothing but miniskirts and cropped tops, anything else would have you sweating to death. anything else would be a disservice to yourself and your world, hiding way too much of the temple that is your angel-crafted body. today, this awesome afternoon was for a date. he'd pick you up, take you at the mall, carry all your bags, and then you’d let him it in his cool car! totally awesome! you wondered if that was what would help your step-brother and his temper, too, if you just gave him your magical pussy you could totally save him!

your bouncy hair swayed with your hips, stepping towards the front door. there was no one to call out to when you left, your step-parents were enjoying their summer holidays just like you. and your step-brother, well, that—

“fuck are you going?” didn't involve him anyways. you whipped your head back, scrunching your face up and looking to the side. the houseplants were so pretty.

“out,” you kept your answer as vague as possible, your hands behind your back, hoping for leon to believe you despite… everything. the way your bottom lip was jutted out and quivering, how the ends of your mouth were curled down, you couldn't even look at the guy and you hoped he wouldn't be suspicious. as if. leon was leaned against the wall by the stairs, brawny arms crossed below his broad chest. how long had he been there? you bet he was staring at your ass the whole time, that creep. sure he had looks, but with that personality there was no way one self-respecting woman on earth liked him.

“like that? hell no.” your step-brother marched towards you, his footsteps loud as hell. did he do that on purpose? he didn't give you time to react before grabbing your forearm, hold tight so you couldn't tug it out.

“no one ever teach you how a woman is supposed to dress?” you didn't answer, and he took that as a no.

“that's okay, because i'm here now. i'll tell you straight up: modest.” you scoffed and leon tightened his hold. 

“you think you can do whatever you want when mom and dad aren't home?* too bad, cus that's not how it works. i'm a man, you'll listen to me.” your eyes twitched, you held back a smile, leon was going to make you giggle.

“uhm, like hell i will,” you refused, leon didn't laugh. when you tried again to get your arm out of his grasp, he jerked you away from the door and towards the couch. your back hit the wooden framing inside and it hurt like hell.

“ouch.”

“you're so lucky i didn't slap you. fucking bitch,” he spat, hovering over you as you used your hands to push yourself off the couch. you looked good from his view, spread legs hindering your skirt from covering much, he could just about make out your lacy thong, pink and being swallowed between your pussy lips. leon would be lying if he said he wasn’t close to cross-eyed trying to tear his eyes off the exhibition.

“you'll listen to me, yeah? i don't wanna make you cry, so be good for me and answer the damn question.”

you would fight with the devil in your head telling you to provoke him with a stupid response, but the pain in your spine dissolved that argument before it could begin.

“date,” you pushed yourself to answer, “i have a date, leon.” 

he clenched his teeth, clicking his tongue. he was pissed. like usual. you were a fucking whore, but never with him. never with the one guy who actually deserves you. honestly, you were perfect for him, so damn pretty. god, why'd you have to be a damn slut? leon was about to chastise you before he heard the doorbell ring, his features portraying a shock he tried to mute. 

“what, is that your date? the dumbass is picking you up?” you nod your head to your step-brothers discontent and he continues, “that's weird, don't you usually go meet your ‘dates’ at some random place like a hooker?”

how rude! that leon, oh how he was lacking in the manners department.

“what do you mean, stupid? i'm obviously not a hooker! now, are you gonna let me open the door for my date? he's waiting for me out there!”

you looked at him like he was stupid and leon's face tightened, his fists clenched around nothing and he remembered he wasn't touching you. your cheek was reminded, too, when his hand came to greet it.

“easy. i said i don't wanna hurt you,’ he insisted in an admittedly docile voice, “don't make that hard for me.” you looked into his eyes, saw the shaky teal pupils and the wrinkled eyebrows.

“don't you get it? i'm so fucking good to you, more than most men should be. you know how fucking embarrassing it is to have the town slut for a step-sister?” his pupils weren't shaky, it was that he kept looking between your face and your body. you were slow to comprehend that.

“so quiet now, huh?” leon observed with ridicule, your pouty lips were separated, but no words left from them.

“i'm a better teacher than i thought,” he laughed, “got the brattiest bitch i know to learn how to speak when spoken to and only in a couple of minutes.”

leon all but beat your head when he petted it, conceited grin on his face as he did. it wasn’t even going to take him half a summer to train you, by the looks of it.

“all this,” he started, sight limited to your underclothed body and the tight fabric hugging them. a day during which leon could see your nipples through your shirt was a lucky day. today, leon planned to get lucky. “this is a cry for attention, isn't it? it's what girls like you who aren't all there—” he pokes your temple with his middle finger. “—do when you want a man to pay attention to you, but you're too shy to ask for it. i'm sorry i didn't get that till now.” you couldn't believe your ears, leon didn't understand your cause at all! once he made that graph, then he'd see your one cause was to make the whole world smile!

“i get you now. all this time, ever since you moved in, you've been screaming–” he mocked your voice with a higher pitch,”-’pay attention to me already, leon!’” he laughed and patted your head again. your hair was due for a wash. 

“if all you wanted was me, you should have learned how to use those cock-sucking lips of yours to communicate, dumbass. not usually, but for you, i'm open to save a hoe. you don't have to go looking for men you can pretend are me while they give you some mediocre dick anymore. you can just be a real sweetheart and help get your big brother off, yeah?”

his hand spread on your head to force it up and down, emulating a nod.

“there we go,” he praised, “i knew i could get you to come around.” he tugged at your hand.

“now stand. get the door for that stupid date you're oh-so desperate to go on. come on, i'll walk you there.”

leon pulled you to stand on the ground, feet guided by him as you made your way to the door. you checked yourself in the doorknob, reflective from its clean shine, twisting it open after confirming you still looked good. behind you, your step-brother made a blurred sound between a scoff and a cough.

the man on the other side seemed…. surprised, to see leon standing behind you with such a daunting face. seemed shaken to the core. his name slipped your mind, but you were sure it started with a ‘c’. plus, you could ask him later during your date.

“you dragged out a cheerful, ‘hi’ as you waved at your date with a welcoming smile, your tone-deaf and carefree nature bringing for a laugh from C despite himself. 

“hey, you look fantastic.” 

“fantastic?” leon butted in, portraying disbelief “that's all you can say?”

you watched the man before you shrink as the one behind you condemned him.

“jesus.” leon took a step forward, turning your face to his. he did not look impressed.

“these are the guys you let fuck you?”

two out of three people looked uncomfortable, with leon being the outlier.

“well, aren't you gonna let him in?” leon parodied your cattier cadence from earlier. invite him in? that wasn't on the plan for your totally awesome date, but you figured leon would be a meanie again if you didn't listen.

“you wanna come inside?” you reached your fingers out to hold your date's hand, allowing him to follow you inside like a dog on a leash. leon frowned at the sight. losers like the one you held by the hand would do anything to get their dick wet. a heavy cloud of tense awkwardness floated down on you all, brought in by your step-brother's presence, and you felt its weight when you could hear your date breathing close behind you. his breath tickled your skin and— that's probably it. it's not a cloud, it's his continuous breathing on your neck that's making you feel all weird. you roll one glossy lip beneath the other.

“um—”

“you wanna continue what we were doing earlier?” leon put his hand on your bare shoulder. close to the base of your neck. you wondered if those rough fingers were there to protect you from the cloud or take  you from it. 

“on the couch, you know? i was actually getting kinda into it.” leon wasn't looking at you as he spoke, but behind you with a strained smile one would give a friend. playing innocent. if he were to open his eyes, they would look down at C with disinterest as though he was beneath leon in every aspect. they didn't know each other, did they? you never mentioned even having a step-brother to begin with. aw no, C must be so confused!

“leon, what are you talking about?”

you felt leon's fingernails dig into your skin, making it sting like a wasp would. not that it's lethal, but that he was on the lookout for reasons to put his hands on you. when everything and anything you did could be seen as provocation, the reasons were too many to count.

“sorry, my step-sister here never really had anyone teach her to speak when spoken to,” he laughed, “she's kind of annoying. fuck that, she's an irritating little whore. man-to-man, what do you even like about her?” 

ouchies. both leon's words and his fingers on your neck were totally ouchies, but he still smiled like he was chatting about something trivial. did he really want to know that?

“you shouldn't—”

“is it her ass?” always with the interruption, speaking over people was his specialty. he waited for an answer, ignoring the weird mood he set in the room.

“i won't judge you, c'mon.”

“no, man. she's a sweet girl,” C insisted. his voice was weak, he sounded intimidated. 

“a sweet girl,” leon scoffed, “a sweet girl? don't sugarcoat it.” his strong hand on your weak shoulder turned you to face your date, showing you off like a one big, shiny trophy.

“be real. i already said, man-to-man. what's your favourite thing about her? is it her cute little face?” leon pinched and pulled at your cheek.

“her tits?” his hand enveloped your breast through your thin top with a firm squeeze.

“ass?” you braced for the impact, but a yelp was forced out once leon smacked your ass instead of letting you off with more groping. when you opened your eyes again, the face before you was contorted with… disgust? oh my god, he probably thought you were totes weird! you had to let him know this wasn't a normal occurrence at all, your step-brother hated you! he'd never even touched you until now! well…

“pussy?” leon's hand crept down your midriff and the eyes before you shot wide.

“fuck, no. dude,  stop touching her.”

leon found that an amusing reaction. the faces a man made when jealous were quick to make him laugh. how could someone be jealous of what they didn't own? your step-brother had his hands on his property, that was all. not a crime in the slightest, unless C could stand straight and say it. but he wouldn't. leon wasn't an easy man to confront, he knew that well, but a sight like this really stroked his ego. made his dick real hard. leon's fingers prodded past the elastic of your panties to move them to the side and he was met with no objection because who could challenge him? now you looked down at the floor in shame, feeling how fat your tongue had become in your sealed mouth. bloated with the burden of silence. shame and disappointment fixed your gaze to the ground. you thought maybe C would speak up for you, but maybe he knew it too. knew this needed to happen, for leon's sake! it made your palms all sweaty and your tongue all fat and the room all weird, but at its core you were happy for an opportunity to turn your step-brother's frown upside down!

“you gonna get on the couch for me now?” leon spun you towards him, peeved by the shaking of your lowered head. 

“nuh uh,” you dismissed, “that… really hurt my back.” it was true, you still felt it.

“aww, really?” leon ruffled your hair, not moved at all by your complaint. 

“princess used to getting her pussy stuffed on a silk mattress? too bad,” he grinned, “you’ve been getting treated good, but you haven't been getting it good. let me fuck you how you deserve.” leon kicks at your ankle. “on the floor.”

you stumble onto it. first your knees, then your back. your hair cushioned your head from the impact. but now you'd need to comb it to be neat again.

“ouchies, leon,” you grumbled, scratching the back of your head as your eyes adjusted to your new position. it wasn’t long before your pupils were honing in on a blurry face, made clear by its brash expression. leon wasted no time getting into you while you were dazed and confused. your miniskirt, panties pushed to the side underneath it, all mouths shut, no objections. your step-brother couldn't be asked to take his pants off, only to yank his dick out from the border and stuff it inside his favourite thing about you. the curse, ‘fuck', left your lips in tandem with his. yours a squeak, his a husky groan. you didn't like it when you weren't eased into it, getting dick forced inside your cunnie kinda hurt! it made your eyes all watery, too. leon above you had a grin that rivalled the joker's. yay, your magic was working already, he was so happy! you were happy, too, for the most part. those weren't sadness tears and the sweat collecting on your skin was a byproduct of the action. nothing to do with the burning sensation of being watched, two sets of eyes trained on you. it wasn’t a rare occurrence, being the center of attention, but it had never happened in this kind of scenario. it was new and new was exciting. like a phone, or a hairstyle, or a boyfriend. new pumped your blood with stimulation and made you stupid with light-headedness, a smile growing on your face as your clingy hands reached out to clutch your step-brother's shoulders. that smile of yours broke, face twitching each time the drawstrings of the sweats he refused to discard, hanging low off his hips, connected with your ass cheeks. leon kept the stained trousers on, wasn't that stupid? his brain was emptied and taken over by the dumbifying drug of something new, but what had also been his for a while, the first time trying you out.  your walls clenched around his dick, that fucked-out face you were giving him, how you so wholly embraced him now when you were so standoffish a few minutes ago. it didn't take time at all for him to break you. leon lowered his face, his mouth touching your ear as he spoke between grunts. 

“that good, huh? nothing to say to me?”

your nails scratched leon's back as he bruised you with careless thrusts.

“thank you, leon,” you whimpered, the wetness of your eyes boldening the wisps of your eyelashes. leon felt his balls tighten. a thank you? he'd cum right there if you had offered an apology alongside it.

“feels good, huh? it's cus you were made for me. this is how it's supposed to be.” when you looked at him with such doting eyes, the eager sucking in of his dick by your lovesick cunt, he was sure he could get through to you. 

"yeah, that's it. a misguided woman like you… shit,” he panted in a whiny pitch, “you needed a man like me to break you in. remind you of— shit!– your fucking place.” his blushing face grimaced between words, trying to downplay how your pussy affected him.

“huh, leon?” was that dirty talk? you couldn't focus on his words, deafened by your own moans. you'd cry out every time leon reached a spot you'd somehow never felt before. your vision was blurred by ever-bubbling tears and leon could only thank god you weren't a snotty bitch.

“you. born to be under me,” leon huffed, simplifying his language to an extent that mocked your intellect. though it was also possible he couldn't go on spiels with all the sounds you were bringing out of him. sure he hadn't got some in a while, but had it ever been this good? to skip the formalities, to have you cling on to him like he was life itself, how stupid he'd made you to the point you hadn’t glanced at your little date even once. it was too good. with your brain functions paused, leon’s eyes glazed over as he thought of all he could make you do. no more alarms, he'd get you to ride him till he woke. any time he sat on a chair, he'd have you on your knees licking and sucking. his heart was racing. he could hold a gun to your head as he did it. if they were careless earlier, now his movements had dissolved to erratic, messy assaults. you cried out his name a multitude of times, pleading for him to slow down whilst your pussy drooled around his stingy dick. you didn't really want that.

“take it. c'mon, take it for me like i know you can. didn't i…” your hands had fell to his heaving chest now in hopes a slight push might slow him down. it couldn't. you were atleast glad he was enjoying himself, he could testify for your cause after this since he has first-hand experience now.

“didn't i tell you? you were born to be beneath me, so do what you're fucking best at and take it,” he demanded, slapping your thighs to bring a whine and nod from you, then using that same hand to swipe the tears off your face. they were starting to ruin his view if not bother him.

“stop crying before i shove it up your ass,” leon menaced, making you clench around him harder. you weren't sure it would be any fun with such a brute-force kind of guy, but it would be new.

“okay, i'm sorry,” you squeaked, and that mousey apology just about did it. it took less than a day. it only took some good dick could get you to listen to him. leon was too fucking good to you, this only reaffirmed that, a fact that had his dick twitching deep inside you. comforting, familiar warmth flooded you as leon emptied himself into your snug and magical cunt, he couldn't resist the urge to give your would-be date a boastful winner's simper as he finished. guys with no backbone get cucked. what, they don't teach that in school anymore? who was he kidding? you were made for step-brother to have, you just got confused. he came in his property, big deal to him. though, that would make a real mess of things for you. who'd still want a girl after knowing she gets it from step-bro and takes it with a twinkle in her ecstatic eyes? too bad for you, those endeavours would be forced to a halt.

leon understood now, as he watched your form twitching beneath him, his load staining your inner-thighs as it trickled down, your face frozen with such an obnoxious smile. the joy of ravaging a woman. the satisfaction of fucking the slut out of his step-sister. you’d obey him now. leon pushed back his blond, sweat-soaked hair. he'd really been missing out. 

thank you for reading, i really appreciate it ♡

[ssukidesu]

his happiness

Fandom: Inuyasha: A Feudal Fairy Tale

Pairing: Inukag

Rating: T

Inukag Week 2024 - Day 6: Sacrifice

Summary: (Sequel to day 5) Sango spies a suspicious mark on Kagome's neck, and conversations get a little uncomfortable after that.

Read on AO3

Read below the cut

Kagome released a pent-up sigh at the sensation of the warm water caressing her skin up to her neck. Sango, a few feet away, made a similar noise, and the two women giggled at their synchronized relaxation.

“This is nice,” the older woman said. “How long has it been—a month? I was getting tired of the chilly river.”

Kagome hummed. She felt a little guilty about it, as she’d benefited from the luxury of her own bathtub about two weeks prior—but her sentiment was still just as strong.

It was a little place tucked away from any roads or villages, about a stone’s throw from their last shard-related battle. It wasn’t too difficult of a fight, but it was a salamander demon who’d alternated between spitting fire and throwing mud at them. No one got terribly dirty, but it was bad enough to warrant a good, relaxing soak. While the sun was still up, the spring was theirs; the boys would take it after nightfall.

Kagome reclined her head against the stone behind them, recalling something Inuyasha had mumbled to her before they’d left.

Go get that wolf’s scent off of you. I can still smell it from yesterday.

Well, he had certainly seemed a little different since the previous evening—not that today had been the most advantageous for any sort of… rediscussion. At the very least, he’d taken a couple of liberties that made it very clear he was going to honor her request.

Don’t be such a stranger from now on.

Well, as for the first thing he did that morning in obedience to her request, he’d planted himself right behind her during breakfast and sprawled a leg out to corral her petite frame. Her back was all but pressed to his front, and, to her relief, the others kept their observations to themselves.

The second thing came soon after they broke camp; when it was time to set out, Inuyasha gripped the undersides of her thighs a little more… blatantly than he ever had; typically, he turned his hands so that his palms pointed outward and linked his fingers together to support her weight with minimal invasiveness. But this time, his palms and fingers came flush with her skin, right on the meat of her hamstrings. He must have heard her heart rate take up a violent pace, as he tilted his head to inspect her for any sign of concern. Their eyes met, and a shadow of self-consciousness began to invade his eyes—so she did the first thing that came to mind to reassure him: she tightened her hold around his neck, buried her face in his back, and muttered, “Hurry up, or we’ll get left behind.”

Sango interrupted Kagome’s musings: “Say, what’s that on your neck?”

She hoped Sango would interpret the immediate flush to her cheeks as only a result of the hot water.

And that brought her to the third liberty he’d taken: around lunch, when they’d stopped to eat at the place that would not ten minutes later turn into a battleground, Inuyasha had offered to scope out the area (he’d sensed there might have been a demon nearby). Before he left, and as Miroku, Sango, and Shippo were busy building a quick fire and throwing together a meal, Inuyasha took full advantage of the ponytail that was keeping Kagome’s hair off her neck, and gave her a not-so-gentle kiss there. He’d known to simultaneously smother her mouth with his hand—as she did emit quite the squeak at the sensation. It started as a kiss, then morphed into a firm suck, and then ended in one sharp nip. 

She wasn’t sure if he’d meant to draw a little blood—in fact, if she had to guess, his immediate wince and encore of another soft kiss was likely meant as an embarrassed apology. It hardly broke the skin, and it wasn’t bad enough to bleed any more than the initial puncture would draw to the surface, but it sealed her fate: there would be a mark. And it had all happened in less than ten seconds.

Well, Kagome couldn’t blame Sango for asking about it now; it was on full display due to her forgetfulness. 

Nonetheless, her fingers shot up to cover it, and the panicked expression likely didn’t help her case, either.

Sanyo’s eyes grew wide.

“Is that—!”

“Shhh!” Kagome lunged to cover Sango’s mouth with both hands, as their camp was hardly over the tree line, and a shout would likely be heard by Inuyasha and Shippo, at least.

Sango seemed to remember this a second later, and when she spoke again, it was in a shrill whisper: “Is that from Inuyasha?”

Kagome cringed, bringing her hands to cradle her own crimson face. 

“Surely it’s not from Kouga?!”

“No!” Kagome hissed in offense. “…It was Inuyasha.”

Sango proceeded to make a myriad of various conflicting expressions, some of shock, others of excitement, and still others of confusion and frustration.

Kagome sighed, urging her nerves to subside. “It was from earlier today.”

“When?!” 

“Does it matter?” Kagome cried, wanting nothing more than for this conversation to shift somewhere else. “We—we’re just…”

“Keeping secrets, that’s what!” Sango scolded, utterly scandalized.

“No, we’re not! Sango, this just started—we haven’t even talked about it since everything happened yesterday…”

“Yesterday?!” she yelled, and Kagome smacked her hands back over Sango’s mouth.

She returned their tones to a whisper. “Yes, yesterday. But please don’t act any different—I don’t even understand what’s happening, and I really don’t think he wants anyone else involved…”

She scoffed. “Of course he doesn’t. The idiot…”

Kagome couldn’t help but giggle at her tone, which was increasingly growing to that of an older sister.

Sango cleared her throat in an effort to compose herself, then she continued: “So, what? Are you two together now? What about…” As she trailed off, her expression froze, and she gave Kagome a rueful look, as if apologizing for something she didn’t even say.

“What about what?” Kagome pressed fearfully.

“You know…” she tried, but Kagome’s persistent silence forced her to spit it out. “What about Kikyo?”

Kagome flinched at the name. Admittedly, she hadn’t even thought about the priestess since yesterday’s events—and she wondered how such an important thing could slip through the cracks of her mind.

“Um, well…” she began, wringing her hands under the warm water and staring at the ripples on the surface. “I don’t know.”

“I mean, doesn’t Inuyasha still plan on dying with her? He hasn’t said otherwise, has he?”

Kagome’s stomach clenched. “I don’t…”

“Or does he still plan on using the Shikon Jewel to make himself a full demon? I can never keep up…” she said with no small amount of agitation. 

Sango realized after a moment that Kagome had fallen silent. Then, in a poor effort to take back the sour mood she’d just created, she brought her hands to Kagome’s shoulders.

“No, I’m sure it’s no problem at all, Kagome! I mean, none of us actually thinks he’ll leave us—leave you—when all this is over. Everyone knows he’s head over heels for you.”

Kagome offered a weak smile in return, but there was no mistaking it: there was now a distinct shadow over her demeanor that nothing Sango could say could fix. It was as if she’d pulled the curtain back during a nice little stage play to show that, no matter how kind the king had seemed, there was still a whole other person in a green box who was actually in control.

“It’s okay, Sango. You’re right.”

“Maybe you should just ask him about it...?”

“...Yeah.” Her voice was high, as if she was trying to appear cheerful, but it only sounded strained. 

Well, thought Sango solemnly, maybe the only way out of this is to go through.

She scooted closer to Kagome and brought a comforting arm around her back. She was taller, even when sitting, so the position brought Kagome into the crook of her arm. 

“Hey... you love him, don’t you?” she asked softly.

Kagome kept staring at the water, but her expression grew even more pained. “Like crazy,” she whispered.

“Well, then. When the time comes, and we’ve defeated Naraku and restored the jewel, what would you wish for, if you had the chance?”

Kagome took in the question one word at a time. “I’d want...”

She hesitated. Kagome’s first instinct was to say that she’d want to be able to be with Inuyasha forever—and this wouldn’t have been a lie. But was that really what she wanted to want the most? Would she be the kind of person she could approve of if she wished for something like that, when all other wishes were at her fingertips?

Kagome imagined herself as the best version of Kagome she could ever be. What would that version of her wish?

She’d be willing to sacrifice what she wanted. She’d want Inuyasha to be happy, more than anything. No matter what that meant.

Kagome’s lips formed into a sad smile. After a minute of thinking, she turned to Sango and said resolutely, “I’d wish for Inuyasha’s happiness.”

This wasn’t what Sango expected to hear her say, and she’d be lying if a part of her wasn’t bothered by it, but she forced her lips to perk upward. “Then I guess you’ll just have to trust that he knows what will make him the happiest.”

Dusk’s arrival grew imminent, and with it came the bleak prospect of a waning paradise that Kagome felt she’d gotten to cherish far too briefly.

When they left the spring and returned to the men, Inuyasha offered her a secret smile, and she did her best to return it. But she did not wait for their return before laying herself down to sleep.

As she drifted off, she wondered if the growing sound of the soul collectors’ singing was real or dreamed. 

[thehmn]

My friend gifted me The Gift of Fear book for my birthday. It’s a very interesting read that helps you recognize danger signals from other people but the author Gavin De Becker actually helped me manage my anxiety just from a short video somewhere where he explains the difference between fear/suspicion and anxiety/worry.

Very simply put fear/suspicion is a reaction to something in your environment while anxiety/worry is a response to something you imagine or remember either because it happened to you in the past or because you read about it somewhere.

So fear is if you walk into a room and there’s a man acting weird, and anxiety is if you walk into an empty room but get scared because maybe a man acting weird might show up.

There are of course nuances to that. Like, there might be frail old man just reading a newspaper but you get scared because you’re scared of all men, that’s anxiety, or you might know you have a stalker and then it makes sense to not want to be alone in a room with no escape, or you get scared when walking alone because you know it’s a dangerous area, but in both cases the rule still stands; fear is a response, anxiety is a memory/imagination.

De Becker also points out that it’s perfectly reasonable to be suspicious even if it turns out to be nothing. To give a personal example, I used to clean at an office that was in a nook of a lager building with other businesses. It was a busy area but it made no sense for anyone to be in the nook unless they had business with that specific office. One day a man was standing in the nook when I showed up, not doing anything. He didn’t look at me or his phone. He was just standing but at a distance that wasn’t immediately threatening to me. As cleaners we’re taught that if someone wants to break into the place where we clean there’s a chance they might consider our coming and going the optimal time. As soon as we turn off the alarm they might push their way in and though we aren’t the focus we might get hurt. I kept an eye on the guy in the reflection of the glass door while I unlocked it but he never looked at me. After that he showed up regularly but was always gone when I came back outside and I started to suspect that he might be learning my schedule so after entering the office I watched him thought the curtains to see what he did. He stood there for a few minutes when another person suddenly walked towards him, their hands touched for a second and then they both walked off in different directions. A drug deal. So I was right to think something shady was going on, it just had nothing to do with me.

In another case where my fear saved me I was walking my dog at 1 AM. I live in a very safe area so I’ve never been afraid to be out after dark (I never left my apartment after dark while I lived in a bad neighborhood in Leeds). I noticed a parked car on the road but didn’t think much of it because it was parked near a spot where I often meet a middle aged woman who waits to be picked up for her nightshift so I assumed her ride was just early tonight. Suddenly a young man burst out though the hedge surrounding a house, ran to the car, ripped the door open and that’s when he noticed me. He looked at me for a second then jumped into the car. The lights inside the car turned on and I saw another guy in the driver’s seat. They talked and both turned towards me just as the light turned off, then they sped down the street, into a small private parking lot, turned around and finally parked the car across the sidewalk, meaning that when I reached them I’d have to walk out onto the road to pass them. My dog hadn’t noticed anything weird and was busy sniffing the ground. I let him sniff which meant we moved at an exceptionally slow pace and the car never moved and my fear just grew and grew and I got the very strong sense that I shouldn’t get anywhere near that car. I took a split second decision and suddenly crossed the road to a grassy area between houses where a car couldn’t go. As soon as I did the car sped towards me but I was already well away from the street. The car slowed down to a crawl when it reached me and I saw the guys faces in the light from a street lamp. They looked worried. Then they sped up and I could hear them drive away at an insanely high speed. I kept an eye out for news about a crime in the area but saw nothing.

At the time I couldn’t have told you exactly what scared me. I’ve seen many young men run from their garden to their friends waiting in a car, look at me and drive away, and I’ve seen many people parked across the sidewalk because they were lost and were looking at Google maps. But looking back the first thing that I noticed was the way he looked at me before getting into the car. It was a split second too long, like he wasn’t just noticing me but thinking. It was of course also weird that they both looked at me in the car but the thing that really scared me was when they parked and there were no lights in the car. Why didn’t they look at their phones to open Google maps or find a text with directions? Why were they just sitting in darkness?

So Gavin De Becker as taught me to listen to my fear but also realize when I’m just being anxious. When I feel fear I’ll ask myself “What are you afraid of?” and if the answer is a memory or my imagination it helps to calm me down but if I can say “That man/sound/lack of sound/something specific” I know to be on guard even if I’m not sure why it’s scaring me yet. And that means I’ve also learned to trust myself a lot more. Thinking back I realize that I’ve always been right when I was afraid or suspicious of something/someone specific even if it turned out not to be a danger to me. I still knew something shady was going on and I was right to keep my distance because as De Becker says, it’s better to listen to your fear than ignore it because it’s better to be wrong and safe.

And of course this doesn’t mean that if you have bad anxiety or PTSD you should just stop treatment and let fear rule your life. Like I said, there’s more nuance to it than I can explain here, but I wanted to share because I’m amazed how much it has helped me. At first I just noticed I was a lot less anxious in general and it took some time before I realized it happened after watching a random talk from him on YouTube. That’s why I wanted to share this in case it might help others to be less anxious but also trust themselves more.

[avengersfantasies]

hii!!!! can I send a request? if so can I request a Bucky Barnes x reader fic? maybe where reader and Bucky live together but reader has some eating issues that they haven't told Bucky about and he finds out one day. like maybe a hurt/comfort? If not that's totally fine im just in recovery right now and just needing some comfort rn ty!! <33

Summary: After eating dinner one night, your roommate, Bucky Barnes, discovers what you have been keeping to yourself.

What to expect: eating disorder (bulimia), fluff

taglist: @pattiemac1 @justsebstan @winterslove1917 @crist1216 @lady-loki-barnes-djarin @kandis-mom @vonalyn @mavrellover91 @natashasilverfox @gojoismysensei @itsafamilyshow @casa-boiardi

Join a taglist here

Submit a request here

You walked in from your date – the smell of your roommate’s cooking immediately hitting your nose. It smelled amazing. Everything Bucky cooked was phenomenal.

            “Welcome home!” the soldier called out from the kitchen. You flashed him a quick smile as you walked in and sat down at the bar. “How was the date?”

            You sighed. “It was…okay, I guess,” you answered.

Bucky nodded and tasted the sauce he was finishing up making. “You hungry?”

“I’m good,” you exhaled. “Had a lot to eat at the movie.”

He looked at you suspiciously. “What all is there to even eat at a movie?”

You chuckled and shook your head – walking off to your room without responding. You knew full-well that you hadn’t actually eaten anything at the movie except for a few bites of popcorn. You got into your bedroom and started to change into some comfortable clothing, and the familiar sound and feeling of your stomach growling echoed loudly. You ignored it – continuing to change into your sweats and get comfortable in bed. You lay in bed scrolling on your phone and laughing at videos posted by some comedians you followed. After a handful of minutes, however, it became too much. Annoyed, you got out of bed and headed to the kitchen where Bucky was cleaning up and putting away leftovers. Without a word, you opened up one of the cabinets and grabbed a plate – stacking it with food and putting it into the microwave.

“Thought you weren’t hungry,” Bucky reminded you.

You shrugged. “Yeah, well…smelled too good.”

You gave him a soft smile as you went to the other side of the bar to sit and begin eating your meal. It was delicious, that much you had to admit. If there was one thing you knew for certain, it was that Bucky knew how to cook a homestyle meal.

“It’s really good,” you told him.

He smiled. “Thank you…it’s one of my mom’s recipes.”

Hearing those words and knowing what you were going to do once you finished eating caused a wave of guilt to crash over you – causing you to look down and eat smaller bites. His mother…the woman that he no doubt loved more than anything in the world, the one he had lost when he was a young boy had created the recipe for the food you were eating, and you knew that as soon as you finished, you’d be throwing it up. Were you insulting her? Him? If he knew what you did after every meal, would he be angry with you? How many other times had you thrown up food that came from his mother? In the end, it didn’t matter. You weren’t strong enough for these thoughts to stop you from doing what you’d been doing for years.

“Thank you, Buck,” you smiled – putting your now-empty plate in the dishwasher and heading to your room. “Goodnight!”

“Night!” His voice was happy, and he felt accomplished having made one of his mother’s beloved recipes and having it turn out good.

You locked yourself in your room before bolting to the en suite and locking that door as well. Almost on instinct, you threw your body to the toilet – forcing yourself to throw up everything you had just eaten. You always sobbed quietly as you regurgitated your meals, but this time was different. This time, you sobbed loudly – not caring if anyone heard you. The food kept coming, and each morsel that left your body caused more guilt.

“Hey!” Bucky’s voice called out from the other side of the bedroom door. “Are you okay?” You didn’t answer, too upset to respond to him. At this point, you didn’t care if he found out what you were doing…if anything, a part of you wanted him to find you. Some part of you needed him to. Hearing more of your sobbing and puking, Bucky easily broke the lock on the bedroom door and entered – making his way to the bathroom and breaking that lock as well. “Hey, hey, hey,” he spoke softly – kneeling down next to you and rubbing your back. “Are you okay?”

“No,” you sobbed – looking over at him with tear-stained cheeks. “I’m sorry, Buck.”

“Sorry? What’re you sorry for?” he asked frantically – desperately wanting to figure out what was happening. “Did something make you sick?”

You let out another sob. “I’ve been sick, Bucky.” His eyes searched yours for some sort of explanation, but the more you sobbed and gasped, the more he understood. Soon, the realization set in.

He pulled you close to him – wrapping his arms tightly around you. “How long?”

“Since high school,” you cried out.

He kissed the top of your head – resting his cheek on the same spot. “I’m so sorry I didn’t realize.” A tear escaped his beautiful blue eyes and landed in your hair. “I should’ve realized.” The feeling of being wrapped in his arms brought you a sense of calm – a feeling that everything would be alright. He wasn’t angry that you had just thrown up the food that he had worked hard on making. In that moment, all he cared about what you. “Do we need to go to the hospital?”

You shook your head. “No…please.” Bucky stood up and grabbed a wet washcloth and got your toothbrush together – helping you get up from the floor and clean up. He flushed the toilet while you brushed your teeth, and once you were done, he carried you to your bed. “Please stay…” Your voice was hoarse and weak as you practically begged the soldier to stay with you. “I can’t be alone.” Bucky nodded and lay next to you – pulling you close to him and rubbing your bath with his metal hand. The coolness of his arm soothed you enough and helped you catch your breath. “Please help me.”

“I’ll do anything you need me to do,” he promised – placing a gentle kiss on your head and holding you as you fell asleep from exhaustion in his arms.

[rhodesrider]

Fantasies

Dominik M. x Fem! Reader x Rhea R.

NSFW! 18+! MINORS DNI!

Warnings: Masterbation, threesomes, Bisexual activities, Dominance, creampie, cumplay, Mommy kink

~~~

Dominik sighed in his hotel room watching tv. He stretched a bit soon thinking about Y/N. They did a home show where she helped Mama Rhea take out Mia. They both looked so hot in their ring gear. Soon he started to blush rubbing his dick some through his pajama pants. “Fuck…” he muttered. The hotel they were in had somewhat paper thin walls, what if they heard him? The thought of them finding out that he was getting horny over them would be so embarrassing. He looked in the mirror beside him on the wall. He looked so needy. He sat up pulling down his pants in the process and his dick just sprung up. Throbbing needing some type of attention. He also remembers them praising him for being a great distraction during the match. His tip started to leak Precum. “Fuck, I like being a good boy to both of you~” he whispered as he imagines the women rubbing on him and teasing him. God it would be humiliating, just seeing them play with him like a toy. He started to stroke himself some throwing his head back fantasizing that Y/N was stroking him off while Rhea kissed on him smothering him with her boobs. “Please use me mommies. Please I need it.” He whined. Stoking his dick more laying on the bed wanting them so bad. Remembering all the times he was praised and hugged, remembering that Y/N smelled of cotton candy and Rhea was like a black cherry. He was close, him holding on to the sheets imagining Y/N enjoying bouncing up and down on his dick cumming all over it praising him. He groaned and grabbed a pillow able to groan a little louder cumming in his hand. He whimpered from the overwhelming feeling. “Fuck…” he sighed riding out his orgasm still.

But then, a door knock.

He cursed to himself and went to the bathroom quick to wash off and fix himself. He went to the door peeking seeing it was Rhea and Y/N. He blushed hard hiding his bottom half. “Hey Dom we were bored and we wanted to see if you were up.” Y/N smiled as Rhea rubbed her shoulders some looking at Dom as if she was examining him. “Oh yea but I was about to go to sleep.” He faked yawned some not wanting to look suspicious. “Oh alright-“ “well weren’t you gonna ask him does he want company before he went to sleep?” Rhea asked smirking. His dick throbbed a bit, he was soon nervous. “Oh no no it’s ok I’m fine.” Rhea knew he was doing something. But what? “Please Dom?” She pouted batting her eyes and he sighed nodding. “Could you give me a minute?” He closed the door getting his pants and he opened it again letting them in.

He sat in between them as they were watching tv talking. He blushed a bit nervous. “Hey Dom you ok?” Y/N asked and Rhea looked at him as well. He nodded as he focused back on the tv. Rhea smirked putting her hand on his leg. He shivered a bit as a chill went up his spine. Rhea went to his ear. “You know the real reason why we are here Dom Dom?” She smirked. Y/N focused on the tv blushing as well hearing Rhea. Dominik looked at Rhea a bit. “Eyes forward.” She commanded and he did as told. “She wanted to play with you and so do I. If you’re not in the mood we can leave.” He gulped and looked at Y/N some biting her lip playing her with thumbs. She peeked at Dom giggling. “Don’t leave please.” Rhea smiles and kisses his cheek. Y/N saw it was her que to kiss his neck, he kept his eyes foreword blushing and wiggling around a bit from the sweet kisses planted on him. Soon Y/N put her cold hand in his pants, feeling his semi erected dick. “Rhea, he been wanted to play~” Y/N giggles and turned his face to her as she kissed him pulling out his dick. She broke the kiss spitting on her hand and went to stroke him off. He sighed out some as his dick got hard fast. Rhea removed her shirt in the process, not wearing a bra, and got on her knees in bed. He looked up at the beautiful strong woman. She kisses him some giggling as he was hungry for the taste of her and Y/Ns lips. Y/N smirked facing Dom between his legs and started to lick and suck his dick, as he licked and played with Rhea’s tits she played with Y/Ns wet pussy through her panties. Dom was so excited and yet was scared. Was this a dream? He didn’t care and yet he didn’t wanna stop.

Y/N deepthroated his cock taking him outta his own head and whimpering some from the feel of his dick deep in her throat. It felt so good. Rhea continued to kiss him as she had on shorts too, he took it upon himself to start to toy with her moving the shorts to the side and play with her pussy. She moaned a bit giggling and spread her legs more enjoying the feel. He thrusted up in Y/Ns mouth fucking her throat. He was in heaven. Y/N came up for air a drool string connected to her sweet lips and Dom’s dick, that sweet look she gave. He wanted her bad. She removed her shirt and bra, her pierced nipples shining from the TV lights, she took off her shorts and panties next and pulled Dom down the bed some giggling. “Now baby be gentle with him-“ “No it’s ok mami. She can be rough with me. You both can use me. I wanted this for a while I just couldn’t tell you guys.” He confessed. He looked at them seeing a dark lust in their eyes after being given permission.

“Such a sweet boy~” They said in unison.

Rhea had a hot make out session with Y/N as one was riding Dominik and the other was riding his face. Dom was hypnotized on how sweet Rhea was, the sweet nectar of her juices, drowning. He held on to Y/Ns ass soon thrusting up in her making her moan in the kiss, Rhea playing with her breast giggling at her close to climax. “That’s it sweetie make her cum.” She cried out as he went faster and she was held by Rhea starting to kiss again close to her orgasm. Riding his face moaning out. Soon they both came and Y/N sighed feeling his cock pump inside her, he whimpered cumming deep in her. “Gross…lucky I’m on birth control.” She sighed getting up pushing out the nutt letting it drip back on Dominik. “Dom bad boy. No one told you to cum.” Rhea said in a stern voice and got up. He shot up upset, “but-“ they ignored him giggling as they put their clothes on going to their room. Dom looked at his milked out dick sighing.

“Thanks a lot.”

[bigbadripley]

hi could you do one where reader and steve are together and some kind of multiversal rift happens that causes captain carter to show up and reader starts to pine for peggy as well as steve, and steve obv still has a thing for the peggy he knew, and peggy still has a thing for the steve she knew, but also reader, so they do a threesome k thanks bye

Moments Stolen Taste Better

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader x Captain!Peggy Carter | 18+ Minors DNI!!  ⚠️

Warnings: Dom!Steve and Dom!Peggy, mention of stillbirth (idk it just gets brought up in the plot), reader has a mombod (we love it), voyeurism, thoughts of cheating, threesome, unprotected p in v

Words: 3.4K Words

Title based on "Used" by SZA ft. Don Toliver

A/N:  You are responsible for your own consumption. DL;DR. As always, if you find anything that needs to have a warning or I mislabeled something, please let me know~

"Babe? Have you seen my screw box?" You yelled through the house. After looking through the garage and not finding the Altoid tin where you kept your oddball screws, it was time to face that your boyfriend likely took it. "Babe!" You yelled out once more, not getting a response the first time. 

As you entered the kitchen, you saw him quickly chewing a bite of the sandwich he held, leaning against the countertop comfortably. You saved for a moment, waiting for him to swallow before he could respond.

"Should be in the n-" Steve cut himself off, "-Second room." He corrected. He knew you told him already that he could call it the nursery and that it wasn't some word that shouldn't be spoken. It was the second room until you got pregnant, then the nursery. Since the pregnancy failure, it's become a dusty baby furniture storage room.

It had been months, and you and Steve had time to heal from it, but he still tended to call the room by its former name. At first, it hurt, but now it doesn't, and Steve still corrects himself when he catches it. You began to wonder if he was doing it for your sake or his. 

You enter the small, pale yellow room and avoid looking directly at the bassinet, which makes your heart ache. Steve was correct: the screw box was on the changing station. As you pick it up, memories of decorating the room flood your mind, causing you to turn around and immediately exit, closing the door behind you. 

Gotta sort that out one day. You thought. Today is not that day. 

Before you go back through the garage door, you hear a crashing sound and smell something burning from the other side. Thinking it might have been a small battery explosion, you rush through the door to grab the fire extinguisher to the right. 

Beyond the smokiness, there was no fire or sparks but a figure on the ground. You weren't sure how they got there or who they were, but your first instinct was to put the extinguisher back and rush to see if they were okay. You were able to make out long dark hair, red lips, and-

It's a woman! You thought.

"Steve!" You yelled out in a panic, trying to get his help to pick up the unconscious woman. The blanket of fog began to disperse little by little, and you started to recognize her as-

"Peggy?" Steve said as soon as he spotted her. The girl he keeps in his compass. The one he left behind when he went in the ice. The only problem was that he never mentioned how tall and strong she looked.

Steve took one arm, and you attempted to grab the other before he picked her up entirely to bring her into the house. Given your size, you likely would not have been of much assistance anyway in lifting her.

Once Peggy was on the couch, you could get a better look at her. She was even more captivating than the photo you knew her from, and even more, interestingly, she wore a suit that was a near-replica of Steve's, the only exception being the Union Jack over the chest. 

"This isn't the same Peggy I knew," Steve piped up, crossing his arms. He seemed suspicious of her, but you felt the need to help regardless. You rushed to get a cold washcloth and placed it on her sleeping forehead, figuring the cooling would prompt her awake quicker after whatever tumble she took. 

Sure enough, after staying next to her for nearly ten minutes, Peggy began to wake. Her big brown eyes darted around the room before landing on you, filling with confusion. 

"Where am I?" She asked, sitting up and letting the rag fall from her head to the floor. Her accent floated through the air as her heavy boots clunked when she dropped them from the couch. You told her your name and explained that you found her in your garage, and she listened like it wasn't as strange to her as it was to you. "So, what Earth am I on?" She asked nonchalantly. You raised your eyebrows,

"Uh... I didn't realize they were classified in any way. I know someone I can ask who may know, but-"

"Strange is busy. I already spoke to him on the phone." Steven interrupted you as he walked back in from the garage. The second Peggy spotted him, she was awestruck, flicking her eyes up and down his form. 

"Oh, you're not my Steve." She said. You gathered that the Steve she knew was likely much smaller, and given her reaction, you couldn't help but feel a bit jealous, but couldn't tell if you were more jealous of her or Steve. You watched her gaze return to you, then to Steve, as the gears turned in her head until she connected the dots. "I suppose he'd be your Steve, yeah?"

"Well, yes, he is." You answered, trying not to say it awkwardly. You were not a stranger to being attracted to women, but since you and Steve got together, your eyes never strayed. 

Until you met Peggy Carter. 

"It was Stephen Strange that I needed to see." Peggy circled back to the previous topic. "But even if he could help me, my Travelmaster seems to be broken." 

You realized she was talking about the device on her wrist that looked like a smartwatch. The face of it was cracked and chipped, likely from whatever knocked her into your garage. "Can I see?" You asked, holding your hand out. 

Peggy nodded and took the device off, placing it into your hand. Your fingers grazed hers in a cheesy rom-com fashion, and you felt electricity for a moment, which could have been the Travelmaster. You examined it momentarily, realizing it would be a piece of cake to fix. "I can take care of this thing, but it may take a few days."

"That would be lovely!" Peggy exclaimed, more hopeful now that you could be of assistance. Her joy made your heart nearly collapse, and you sat the device on your knee to discretely wipe your clammy hands on your jeans. 

After a bit of back and forth about where Peggy came from, how she got here, and how in her timeline, she was the one who took the serum, thus becoming Captain Carter, you offered her a place to stay while you fixed her Travelmaster, and she accepted. 

The first day with your new guest was interesting, to say the least. You gave her some of your more loose-fitting clothes to wear to account for her larger build, and even then, they were still a bit tight on her. You weren't complaining as you silently enjoyed the view of Peggy in your sweatpants and Iron Maiden t-shirt that wasn't cropped on you but exposed a bit of midriff on her.

It's like if I let Jen wear my clothes, and then she hulked out. You thought upon seeing her in them. Only Jennifer was your best friend, and you weren't attracted to her like you were to Peggy. 

The biting jealousy came when she and Steve talked about the similarities in their times. They sipped coffee and laughed as you listened in, trying not to blatantly eavesdrop and being unable to help yourself. 

"The Travelmaster probably brought me here because I was thinking about how it must be fixed right before it shorted out," Peggy said. You stood and poked your head through the doorway, 

"Why would it take you here if that were the case?"

"Because you invented it in my time." She said, glancing at you as the cup made it to her perfect lips. God, how you envied that ceramic mug before what she said registered in your mind. You were an inventor, having been under the wing of Tony for some time, but you never invented anything as insane as a multiversal travel device. 

"I'm not surprised. My gal's a genius." Steve spoke up, mentioning you like you weren't there purposely and speaking to Peggy as if she were an old poker buddy. His eyes drifted over to where you were, and you passed him a wink that was more telling than anything you would have been able to say then. 

Oh yeah, he's getting his dick sucked later. You thought before your mind pictured it, but instead of you doing it, you pictured Peggy doing it. The visual caused the jealousy to linger again, and even worse, you had to adjust in your rolly chair at how aroused it made you. 

"Shit." You whispered, pinching the bridge of your nose at how absurd the thought was. It simply wouldn't work. 

Another day passed, and the atmosphere between you and Peggy was so thick you could cut it with a knife. You couldn't tell if it was just you or if Peggy felt the same and decided to hide it out of respect. On the flip side, you knew Steve was also delighted to have her around. 

The night before, Steve had you bent over the footboard of your bed, and your thoughts began to linger again. You loved your man, and he never failed to get you off, but when the image of looking back and seeing Peggy railing you with a strap-on popped into your head, you came harder and faster than you had in a long time.

It was challenging to look at her after that shameful thought. You could tell she noticed your awkwardness, and this frightened you. 

I got the hots for the woman sleeping on my fucking couch. What a nightmare. 

When you saw Peggy in the hallway on your way out of the bathroom, you tried to pass her by without yielding until she spoke to you first. 

"What's that room used for?" She asked, pointing to the room you avoided. 

"Uh, that was the nursery." You admitted, rocking back and forth on your heels. 

"Nursery? I-" She stopped herself, realizing the lack of children and the look on your face.

Probably noticed the extra baby weight and nothing to show for it, too. You thought before she picked her sentence up again. 

 "Oh, dear lord, I'm so sorry. How far along were you, if you don't mind?"

"Seven months. It's fine, really. Some things happen for a reason, you know?" You replied, trying to brush it off. Peggy pursed her lips and cocked her head,

"I guess that's also a good way to look at my being here."

"Look, I know this must be really strange, seeing Steve and..." You trail off, not sure where you're going with this, yourself. You just wanted to open a dialogue and hopefully make yourself feel less nuts. Peggy let out a small laugh,

"Believe me, it has been bizarre, but it's not what you think. If my Steve came out of the war to find someone like you, he's one lucky son of a gun." 

You stood paralyzed as the words floated through the air. Peggy looked down at you the way she usually did, causing your heart to thump as adrenaline washed over you. She was incredible, and her words only amplified your desire for her. 

"Fucking hell." You gasp as you finally catch your breath. The words fell out clumsily, and Peggy eyed you with confusion. 

"You alright?"

"Yeah, just losing my mind at how perfect you are." You admit, then immediately regret the words as her eyes widen at you. "Shit, I'm sorry." 

"You know, I've been quite irresponsible since my arrival. I neglected to tell you," Peggy started, stepping forward slowly. Her movements felt like a magnetic repulsion, causing you to back up as she approached until your shoulders and butt met the cold wall behind you. "I've watched you get involved with people who have no idea how to treat you, time and time again."

Your breath hitched as your back hugged the wall tighter, stuck between it and the buff woman pressed to your chest. "Fucking hell." You repeated the same way you said before, convinced you would die if she were any closer. The right corner of her mouth curled up at your breathlessness, toying with you. 

"Though I'm happy that you found Steve in this life," She leaned her face closer to yours, almost close enough to brush noses. "I still can't forget the sounds you make."

A small, pathetic whimper escapes your throat, betraying you as you feel yourself receding into the drywall. 

"Sounds like that, actually." She whispered. Her dark hair covered your peripheral vision, making her brown eyes the only thing you could focus on. You were in agony, realizing she was telling you that, in her time, she fucked you. Your mind raced through how it went, what she tasted like, how her tongue felt on your pussy. 

You felt hot and flustered. Having been with Steve for so long, you forgot what being pursued by someone new was like. There were so many things you wanted to say and do, but you felt like you were glued where you stood and couldn't find enough oxygen to speak appropriately. It felt like Peggy wanted to break you. 

As if the universe was trying to tell you to get out of that hold Peggy had you in, you heard the front door open, and footsteps proceeded through it. "How does macaroni casserole sound for dinner?" Steve called out as he entered. 

"Fucking hell." You groaned quietly with frustration from being cut off. Peggy loosed the distance between you for you to slip out and get to Steve. As soon as you turned the corner to the kitchen, where he was putting away the groceries, guilt washed over you. The thought of cheating on him was devastating, yet you had been doing it in your head for days now. "Mac casserole? Sounds good, baby." You finally answered his question as you came up and wrapped your arms around him from behind. 

You assisted with putting the food away and scampered off to the shower, hoping to rinse out the feeling of Peggy being pushed against you. All that was accomplished was more racing thoughts in the steam that caused you to turn on the high-pressure stream setting on the shower head and let the water rush against your clit, imagining it was her mouth. 

I still can't forget the sounds you make.

Her voice had a vice grip on your brain, repeatedly replaying like a Jedi mind trick. Your muscles jerked as the water drew an intense orgasm from you that nearly knocked you to the shower floor. A single high-pitched sigh punched from your gut as you heard the bathroom door open. 

"Did you trip?" Steve asked, responding to the thumping of your hands and feet and the sound you made. In a panic, you found it hard to lie on the spot. 

"No, I... uh..." You choked, slowly bringing the showerhead back up to the metal arm that held it over your head. Beyond the frosted glass that separated the rest of the bathroom from the tub, you could make out Steve's shape and the color of his hair, skin, and shirt, but no details. You did, however, hear a faint chuckle. 

"Playing with yourself in the shower is dangerous, baby. Why don't you come out, and I'll take care of you." He said, blurry form growing closer to the glass. It drives you insane when he talks like that. 

Yet, you imagined Peggy saying it to you also, English accent, nearly knocking you off balance again. You felt like an addict, looking for a fix for something you've never had before. 

You could see him more detailed beyond the glass now, but you could make out something else just behind him now. Another tall and wide stature, long, dark hair. Before you could respond, Steve pulled the door open to reveal himself and Peggy, who leaned against the bathroom wall and admired your drenched nakedness. You didn't bother hiding from either of them as the woman parted her lips to speak.

"Dry off and meet us in the bedroom. The three of us need to have a chat." 

Once sufficiently dried off, you exited the bathroom with the towel wrapped around you, tucked under your arms like a terry cloth dress. You felt indescribably anxious and fearful of what they might have discussed to cause this meeting.

Steve and Peggy stood with their arms crossed on either side of you, staring with amused faces. 

"Drop the towel and have a seat on the bed, baby," Steve said, gesturing to the mattress the two of you shared. Your eyes widened, and you immediately turned your attention to Peggy, then back to your boyfriend. 

"Steve, I-"

"Do as he says." Peggy interrupts in a much more commanding tone. Were you terrified? Yes. But her stern tone nearly caused your knees to buckle simultaneously. You allowed the towel to fall to your feet as you slowly and shakily took the few steps to the bed before pivoting and meeting your butt to the comforter. 

They eyed you up and down as they circled you like a couple of vultures. You had become a spectacle. 

"She's gorgeous, ain't she?" Steve asked Peggy, who nodded. 

"Quite. Her thighs and bum are a bit thicker than the one from my Earth, but I find it fetching." She replied, not pulling her gaze from you for even a second. Steve chortled at this,

"I tried to tell ya, my baby girl's special." 

"What exactly's going on here?" You finally speak weakly, your voice cracking as thick saliva pools in your throat. You gulp before Steve responds. 

"Peggy told me everything. How she slept with you in her time, the moment you had in the hallway earlier-"

"And we've decided that we would both have our way with you." Peggy finished his sentence perfectly. Your jaw dropped at the proposition, and you began to question if you really did fall in the shower and this was all some concussion dream. Either way, the ache and gathering wetness between your thighs felt real enough. "Lay back," Peggy said in the same commanding tone as before, prompting you to follow suit. 

As Steve lazed around to the other side of the bed, Peggy pulled your legs apart at your knees to get an eyeful of your dripping heat. "Such a pretty pussy." She complimented, nearly making you blush all over. It felt like you might pass out under them until Peggy inserted her thick middle finger into your entrance. Steve stood and watched with delight, palming himself over his jeans. 

"Tell her how tight she is. She loves that." He instructed, giving away your secrets. Her finger dipped in and out, grazing your soft spot with each curl of her knuckle, making you whine. 

"Very tight, darling. Mind if I have a taste?" Peggy asked, directing the question to Steve. He gestured to you with his free hand and nodded,

"Have at it. That pussy is sweet like honey."

You watched from downturned eyes as Peggy dropped to her knees and began lapping your clit right away, swirling her tongue over it like hard candy and humming with pleasure as involuntary noises left your lips. Your eyes began to roll upward and look at Steve, stroking his cock with one hand and caressing your head with the other. 

"You like how Peggy eats your pussy, baby girl?" He asked. "Tell me how it feels."

"Feel's good." You said breathlessly as her finger continued to pump into you while her mouth manipulated you closer to your climax. The view of Steve pleasuring himself while watching and talking to you was enough to push you over the edge. 

"Cum all over her fingers, baby. Go ahead." He growled, having you nearly trained to release at his will. Your ads tightened, and you arched your back off the mattress as satisfaction ripped through your veins. Peggy continued to fuck you with her fingers, prolonging your orgasm for as long as she could, causing you to cry out. 

"Tell Captain Rogers thank you for letting me lick your pussy." Peggy demanded as she got to her feet. 

"T-thank you, Steve." You stuttered, watching Peggy come to the side of the bed that he was on. 

"I'd say she's ready for you," Peggy informed Steve with a nod before he circled to the side of the bed you hung from. She started removing the too-tight track pants she borrowed from you and climbing onto the bed, one knee after another. You found yourself excited over the prospect of her sitting on your face, aroused again without much time to rest. 

"You treat Captain Carter real nice, now." Steve sang as you felt the tip of his cock rub through your folds. Another whimper pushed through your throat as it came into contact with your sensitive nub, and Peggy smiled beautifully at you. 

"Love that sound. I wanna hear that as he fucks you, understood?" She said, turning around to give you the best view of your Scream t-shirt that showed a peek of her tummy and contoured her breasts. Before you could voice a reply, your mouth was covered by her moist cunt, prompting you to open your mouth and start exploring. "You were right, Cap. She is a good girl." Peggy said with a shaky voice as you began to trace the alphabet over her bundle with your tongue. 

Another weak gasp escaped as Steve's cock pushed into you, fully bottoming out as always and making you crumble with slow, rhythmic thrusts to start. 

"So tight, baby." Steve groaned, picking up the pace and placing his palm over your stomach. The added pressure and his rutting against your g-spot caused a long moan, nearly making you lose your pattern on Peggy's clit. She stared down at you as she gyrated her hips and rode your face. 

"Don't sto-op." Her accent rang through the air, causing you to flick your tongue faster. You have no intention of stopping, eager for her to cum in your mouth. Just the thought of it caused another climax to build inside of you. It was just as you pictured it. 

Steve continued to fuck you harder, fingertips digging into the plush of your hips and thighs, feeling you grow closer to release. "Fuck, baby, I wanna feel you cum on my cock. Cum for me." 

Just like before, he spoke your orgasm forward. Your pussy quivered and gripped his cock as you moaned into Peggy's cunt, still vigorously testing the swollen nub to completion. The vibration of the sound you made as you came did it, and she followed with her own almost instantly, juices dripping onto your lips and chin while her muscular thighs closed over your ears.

Your pulsating pussy pushed Steve closer. "Gonna cum deep inside you, baby. Fuck, you feel so good." He rambled as Peggy removed herself from your face to hear your breathy moans. Steve gave one final, hard shove before his warmth filled you up, watching as Peggy wiped her wetness away from your chin with her thumb. 

Steve joined the two of you in the bed, laying sideways with legs dangling off the side, breathing heavily. "Did that make you happy?" He asked, caressing your thigh. You smiled and nodded in return at him and Peggy. It was exactly what you wanted for days. 

"Then, by all means, take your time fixing my Travelmaster." Peggy spoke up before bringing her perfectly soft lips to yours in a dreamy kiss. She didn't have to tell you twice. 

[beevean]

Lenore: [Carmilla] showed me her maps. I made her angry, I think. She showed me maps of the world. Hector: I know, I know. A giant human pen from here to Braila. I've had the lectures. Lenore: Not anymore. Hector: She's been scheming. Lenore: And she showed me maps of the world, Hector. Hector: The world. Lenore: The pen was about securing our survival and safety for centuries to come. It was an insane idea, but we could stretch and make it work. But now she sees weakness everywhere. And we were a strong and stable community in a world that lost many of its vampire leaders at Braila. Hector: So what you're saying is if it's there, she's going to drink it. Lenore: She said she had one plan: to annex land from here to the sea. She promised me that was her plan, and then she was left alone, and then I made her angry and she showed me her maps. I think she lied to me. Hector: Just the way Dracula lied to me.

So this is another way S4 forcibly pushes a connection between Hector and Lenore for the sake of making us sympathize with her.

Lenore is panicking about Carmilla's new plan. I would say that she is worried about the kingdom's stability, or Carmilla's sanity, but as usual, she can't help showing her true self because she introduced this information by whining about herself: "But soon I'll have nothing to do. Nothing to offer. There's no diplomacy involved in making humans stand in line to be bled."

But for now this isn't really the point: the point is that Lenore, in her circular reasoning, somehow went from "we left her alone, and she started scheming beyond her original plan" to "she was lying to me, and only revealed the truth when I made her angry: if I didn't, she would have kept the lie". Now, this doesn't make sense in any way: why would Carmilla lie to one of her closest allies? Even if Lenore is useless, she is still an ally and a friend, and it would be both disadvantageous and impractical to keep her in the dark. The framing is very much that Carmilla went mad and got hungrier for power and her plan morphed in those six weeks between S3 and S4, and she just happened to choose that moment to rant.

(hilariously, the dialogue is extremely contrived too: Lenore just says "Please, would Dracula have kept [Hector] around in his own castle if he were that dangerous?" and that spurns Carmilla to completely forget about the issue of Hector behaving suspiciously and talk about the castle she didn't get, which wasn't even remotely Lenore's point. yeah no she didn't reveal the plan out of anger, but out of writing convenience lmao)

Now, I could concede this as the character being wrong. Lenore is allowed to be wrong, and the bias she's expressing make sense: the situation is making her feel insecure, unneeded and perhaps unwanted. Remember: this is the same scene where she appreciates Hector for not making her feel bad about raping him into slavery "wanting to listen to her", unlike everyone else in the castle. She is lost and confused and can't trust Carmilla anymore, and as I pointed out she is incredibly self-centered, so fine, I buy that she interprets her behavior as malice against her.

But the framing is not that. Because then Hector remembers he is a human being with a brain and says the only meaningful response to Lenore's rant.

lmao i can't take that frame seriously it's literally surprisedpikachuface.jpg

And this is bullshit.

The two situations are not comparable from this angle. Carmilla is being set to be Dracula 2.0, that much is true: an insane old woman who has lost her way, consumed by pain and hatred, and is no longer thinking about the consequences of her plan, risking the safety of her underlings. But that's the extent of it. Carmilla actually cares about her sisters, in her own way, even if she makes fun of Lenore for her love for animals. Lenore perceived Carmilla as getting angry at her, but in reality she simply got worked up, and had nothing against her if not her incompetence in making Hector work, which got resolved anyway.

We don't know how the other three got roped into her council, but there is zero indication that Carmilla ever used bold-faced lies like when Dracula promised Hector that they'd work to cull mankind when in reality he wanted to exterminate everyone, something he even admitted to do because "he's easy to lie to". He did not change his plan between his hiring of Hector and his death! He deliberately lied to him from the get-go!

Hector and Lenore have the similar situation of being considered the weaklings of the group for their softness. They could bond over that. But Hector's situation was still far worse: he got taken advantage of precisely because of his softness and his pathological need to be loved, something Lenore cannot share because, even with her soft façade, she is too cunning to be tricked, lives her comfortable life as one of the queens, and she was considered integral to the group until now. Hector was betrayed by Dracula, only the first of many instances: he got convinced that Dracula planned to kill him too, and we don't know if he would have done it, but the story seems to believe so. And that's not mentioning how this betrayal was the catalyst for all the hell Hector went through, which incidentally included Lenore. We see with our own eyes that Hector's reaction to being powerless is fawning and clinging, while Lenore's reaction to feeling powerless is exerting her power over creatures beneath her.

Tell me how can Lenore compare to Hector, just because her bestie is only now starting to go crazy - which, as I pointed out earlier, only concerns Lenore because boohoo she feels useless and not out of moral convictions like when Hector shouted that he didn't want to paddle in the blood of innocents?

You don't get to pull the 🥺 face on me, Lenore. You don't get to create a "you're just like me fr fr" moment by twisting the narrative to look more of a woobie than you are. Especially not right after you shushed Hector down when he dared to complain about being raped. You are not the victim here, you can't fathom the heartbreak Hector went through because of Dracula, Carmilla and you, and the relationship between you two is built on nothing but lies, both of your telling and of the disingenuous story itself which at this point is a bigger liar than all three of those characters.

And yes, this is a lie from the story, because this feels like a deliberate retcon! Lenore in S3 was a complacent cog in the machine. She agreed to help Carmilla, she admits in that scene in S4 that she saw the original plan as a way to secure stability which is what she cares about the most, and all of her gaslighting, manipulations and sexual abuse were for the sole purpose of turning Hector into the perfect tool to proceed with that plan (the pet part was just a nice bonus). There is the theory that she didn't like the plan much based on one frame where she frowns, but as usual, other expressions of hers betray her:

She seems quite happy with it! She just apparently didn't like Carmilla's "self-replicating food" joke, for reasons I don't understand - she too treats Hector like an animal, so I don't see why she'd be miffed at the dehumanization. Or maybe it's just her being not very amused at Carmilla's sense of humor in general. the joke was pretty stupid, tbh - all organic food is "self-replicating", your evil speeches need some serious work girl

The point is, she was not tricked into it like Hector! Unlike him who apparently didn't think much about the aftermath, she was fully aware of what it entailed! Carmilla just expanded her view later on! But of course, if we now say that Carmilla lied to Lenore and the story doesn't stop to remind us of what happened one season prior, Lenore suddenly becomes innocent, because see? She's better than mean Carmilla! She only raped Hector for his own good, but she didn't mean to harm mankind! It's literally the same logic that neutered the ring: everything must be sanitized to paint Lenore as this innocent, tragic figure.

Again, what irritates me is that the parallels are there. Carmilla is going insane like Dracula, yes, and she is endangering the kingdom. Lenore feels the black sheep of the group like Hector was (although he never realized it, even though Isaac always talked to him like he itched to call him the R-slur). They have traits in common! Use them! But no, this plotline is nothing more than the writers yelling "PLEASE FEEL SOWWY FOR THE WIDDLE RAPIST SHE DID NOTHING WRONG IN HER LIFE LOOK AT HER CUTE FACE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 CARMILLA IS THE TRUE MEANIE HATE THAT BITCH NOT OUR LENORE WHO IS JUST A POOR GIRL AND NOBODY LOVES HER 🥺"

[yuriko-mukami]

The Curious Case of the Mushroom Hat

The story is based on a private RP with @ruki-mukami-dl

"Wah!" Tsukimi tried to grab the hat Yuriko had just moments ago placed on her head. But to her disappointment, the baby girl couldn't snatch the piece of clothing now as her hands were covered with mittens.

"Tsukimi... please, it's much colder here than at home..." Yuriko held Tsukimi with both hands as the girl started to squirm and sway her limbs in all possible directions. The orange and red maple leaves danced around the mother and daughter in the peace of the yard of the tiny house where Ruki had come to meet Shu.

"It seems Tsukimi-chan has a strong will. Just like Ruki-kun too." Yui leaned in, peeking at the wiggling baby. "She's getting all red."

"Ah, that's because she's moving so much again..." Yuriko sighed. How would all this look like to Yui? The day before they had sat in the garden, trying to chat, and then, too, Tsukimi had at first fought the hat off and then started to sway the wind away as she always did when a breeze caressed her head.

I hope Yui-san doesn't think I've failed. I'm trying so hard... but Tsukimi doesn't seem to like the hat... Yuriko nibbled her bottom lip. Her brother, Yuuto, found mushrooms suspicious. Perhaps Tsukimi had gotten that from him.

"Maybe she settles down once you head for the town." Yui smiled and patted Tsukimi's cheek with a light touch.

"Wah!" The baby stared at the blond woman, finally forgetting to meander. "Wawawa!" She reached her hand, grabbing Yui's finger. "Guh!"

"Now, she's being cute!" Yui giggled and curled her finger. Tsukimi didn't release her hold but kept looking at the young woman.

"Hold Yui-san's finger gently, Tsukimi." Yuriko looked carefully at her daughter. Luckily, the full moon wasn't rising tonight. Otherwise, Yuriko could have been worried as Tsukimi tried to nibble the digit. Not that the girl had any teeth yet to actually bite anyone. But still, better be safe than sorry.

"There you are..." Suddenly, Ruki roamed out of the house and directly into the front yard. "I apologize that you had to wait, Yuriko." He pecked her cheek, right before placing a kiss on Tsukimi's hat-covered head. "You as well, Tsukimi."

"It's okay, Ruki. Yui-san and I had a moment to talk." Yuriko smiled, warmth spreading in her.

"Tsukimi-chan reminds me a lot of you, Ruki-kun." Yui pulled her finger from Tsukimi's grip, erupting a protest from the said baby. "I have to go. Shu-san is probably waiting for me inside. Thank you for visiting, Ruki-kun, Yuriko-san. And you too, Tsukimi-chan."

Yui waved her hand, disappearing into the old building that looked like a small manor to Yuriko. She truly wondered why Yui and Shu had decided to come here when they could have chosen the Sakamaki manor or even a castle in the Demon World. Actually... maybe it made sense. Yuriko wouldn't want to live in one of those either.

"Wah!" Tsukimi glared at Yuriko, trying to reach her hat again.

A sigh escaped from Yuriko's lips. "Oh no, you're not taking it off."

Squirming and arching her body, Tsukimi whirled her limbs. But Yuriko didn't let go of her. As she tried to hold the baby still, she noticed Ruki pulling out his phone.

"Oh gosh, please don't!" But at the same moment, Yuriko heard the shutter close.

"Don't say I can't take photos of my two angels." Ruki chuckled and dropped the phone back into the pocket of his jacket, stepping closer to Yuriko and Tsukimi. Reaching his arms, he picked up Tsukimi and slid the girl into the baby carrier he already wore. "Let's go looking for that clothes store. Perhaps we indeed need a new hat for her."

[hermitw]

I want to make a list of my JJK theories and opinions so we got (part 1 bc I know I'll have / remember more later).

-let gege cook, everyone will be fine, chill tf out (I have rambled about this in other posts so I'll just leave it at that here)

-Toji and Geto's worm is like banana fish (the drug from banana fish that makes someone delusional, easily suggestible, and violent until they self destruct. Geto lasted a lot longer than Toji under its influence bc he had his rituals of meditations, affirmations, and strong ethics. His cursed energy would have also fed the worm, though it had been trained to feed off of the soul when it was with toji). It eats away at their souls/BRAIN so Kenjaku can get into a new skull will little resistance. Remember when Geto was unconscious and Toji said the thing about monkeys? Then Geto kept repeating that kind of thing (but he never rly acted like he believed that. He was just trying to keep his daughters and innocent youth safe from becoming skapegoats like Rika was. He saw that the cult and the village would repeat their cycles and more would be hurt in the future. He couldn't redeem those adults so he killed them.) I go into this theory a good bit in my longest/first jjk fanfic, and I AM DYING for gege to confirm this. I also ofc think that Kenjaku set up the worm and Toji to find each other. Maybe by throwing it into the zenin curse pit.

-kenjaku hit Rika with his car, or at least manipulated someone else into doing it (which seems to be the theme here, the way he made geto and yuta fight, for example. It's suspicious that Yuta and Yuuji were both from Sendai. I'm sure that he was keeping an eye on them both. We see nanako and mimiko at yuuji's school in that one manga panel in the beginning.

-the prison realm can be used for time travel (since Gojo first got sealed I was expecting him to break out. And then I was expecting him to be so understimulated in there that he'd figure out how to warp time. Dude can already warp space, what's the difference?) and Hakari even suggested using the prison realm for time travel so EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE they just have to go as far as they can without using it first so they can learn what to do the next time, yeah? I also had a dream about this and Gojo told me that Sukuna didn't feel the time loop, but the rest of us knew it was our second time (at least) going back and trying to defeat him. Which doesn't mean that I'm right but it was nice ok 😭

Theories that have been proven right or wrong by now

-I've been saying from the beginning that Yuuji and Sukuna share a common ancestor and that's why he can be a vessel. I was right!! But I didn't know he was also born with a fingie

-sukuna has six eyes (this has since been disproven but I used to think so)

-the way that RCT works between two people

CHAPTER 261 SPOILERS ON THIS NEXT ONE but I hope ur caught up by now.

-yuta should use as many techniques as possible in Gojo's body bc when Gojo returns to it, then he will be able to learn them as well. Kenjaku was able to retain techniques from his previous bodies, so even if all he transfers is the copy technique, that's fkn useful too.

-there is no chemistry between Yuki and Choso. That concept feels fucking forced and gives me the ick so hard.

-yuki is a terrible influence. She has good intentions, but she isn't present enough to be helpful - showing up in shibuya after Mahito was absorbed, for example. Not keeping in touch with the sorcerers who were involved in that. Not to mention the shit with Geto. She started the whole "what kind of woman is your type" thing and it's her fault that todo beats people nearly to death for giving an answer that doesn't match his own stupid taste (it took several watches for me to forgive todo for beating up megumi tbh)

-todo is also Kenjaku's son, and possibly Yuki - tho yuki is more vibes than evidence. All of Kenjaku's confirmed kids have a strong resolve, and false memories with Yuuji. But I think that kenjaku, in a male body, would be a total slut. His motivation for anything is that maybe it'll be interesting, or funny, he's just here for a good time. I think that he wouldn't even know how many kids he has, and that by having an unknown number possibly out there, it would bring up unexpected sorcerers. The frame where kenjaku asks why don't you heal yourself and yuki says I don't want to... That feels confirmed for me but I know it isn't solid evidence.

-I think kenjaku set up yuki to meet todo bc that feels too sus as well but I forget my logic on that one lmaoooo everything is their fault tho