#i just used the readmore so as not to clog up your dash with whining if you don't want to see it

[thedreadpiratematt]

I'm sad and I'm not always great at processing sadness and I think it's supposed to be good to write things out so I'm doing that now. I'm sad because:

-My Great Uncle Ed died this morning, he was almost 101 years old. We didn't get down to see him but once every few years, but when I was a child he was like another grandpa to me. Even with a five hour drive I'm sad we never made it a bigger priority to see him at least once a year. But I'm glad he's at peace and I'm glad I got to introduce him to Christina this Spring.

-Christina has been bad sick with a stomach bug since halfway through Christmas Day, and I feel awful for her, what a miserable way to spend the holidays :( she was sick for 7 of our 8 hours driving home from Illinois on the 25th, and she was too sick to go to her extended family's (belated) Christmas Eve on Wednesday. This leads to

-Christina is still sick today, our 5 year anniversary. Having to cancel our reservations at a real nice place tonight, and she's not even feeling well enough for our traditional donuts from the shop where I asked her to be my girlfriend. But I'm happy she really loved the gift I got her :)

-It is highly likely she won't be able to attend her family's already twice pushed back Christmas day tomorrow :(

-we've basically been living as hermits this entire time in the same house. I'm living in the living room and sleeping on the couch while she takes our bedroom so as to hopefully avoid me getting sick, which has thankfully worked so far. But I've also been off work this whole time for various reasons, so I've had very little social interaction and I'm a pretty big extrovert.

-NYE plans maybe cancelled too?

-the living room is a mess and I need to make my habitat more habitable to feel better, but the old executive dysfunction/sadness combo has me on the ropes :(

I feel much worse for Christina than I do for myself, but I am still sad.

Now, I'm going to get some sunlight, and some breakfast, and maybe a little smoke and I'll take my day from there. Wish me luck!