#i just typed daddy instead of paddy i'll unpack that later

[eoinmcgonigal]

Okay just quickly, because I started rambling in tags and want to just... wrap this up:

#eoin is really good with people#we just don't really get to see him with others#never forget: eoin *chooses* paddy#of all the people he could be around and with it's paddy he picks#it's paddy who makes him happy#and no matter what else he gets up to in training or who he goes out drinking with at night in cairo#it's paddy he goes home to#i'm firmly against the 'eoin's character is loving paddy and that's all there is to him' take#but paddy is an important choice to eoin#one he makes again and again every day of his life#that doesn't change everything else that eoin is#it adds to it#it's so important to me that eoin could be doing his own thing quite happily but he chooses paddy#uaghahdfh emotionasls#look at this strong and gorgeous man and how wonderful and beautiful his choice is

and explain that when I say Eoin chooses Paddy, I don't mean that the feelings themselves are a choice, but the decision of how to act based on those feelings is a choice.

Eoin knows Paddy is a disaster. He can see that. The man is frustratingly hard work at times. He's by no means easy to learn to be with. Eoin doesn't have to put the effort in!

But he wants to.

He could, given the attitudes towards queer men at the time, distance himself from Paddy. He could keep things platonic at best, and keep himself safe. He could keep Paddy safe from that too. He could spend more time with literally anybody else.

But he chooses to spend time with Paddy.

He could tell Paddy he's on his fucking own, let him figure it out for himself, not put up with the bullshit. He could set harsher boundaries, keep himself safe from the fallout of Paddy's actions, and any threat of discrimination or punishment for homosexuality. He could decide that enough is enough when Paddy picks fights and ends up in jail, he could wave goodbye and let that be the end of expending his effort on a man who is difficult to be around.

But he doesn't let go.

Because Paddy is worth being around.

Eoin likes being around him. He wants to put the effort in.

He is aware of all Paddy's flaws. He knows the sort of man he is. Eoin is smart enough to understand what he's signing up for.

And he decides that Paddy's worth it.

Loving Paddy is rotten work sometimes. But Eoin chooses to do it. It's not blind devotion.

And I love that so much.