#i just keep digging myself deeper in this hole but i can't/won't stop

[jeanjeremy]

kevin & jean + blue (billie eilish)

[kosije]

c/w ★ ׂ duke!miguel x fem!afab reader. smut. all smut. miguel tries to exercise restraint. spoiler alert: he fails. sins in silk extra <3

duke!miguel o'hara: who enjoys taking you in the most compromising of places.

he'll fuck you in the garden, behind the tall bushes of flowers taunting you on how loud you're getting.

"oh princess, i don't think it would fool anyone if they heard the flowers calling my name. if you can't bite your tongue, even the k-kingdom next door will hear of this."

"heavens," he groans. "i bet you'd like that, huh? want everyone to know how you have the best fucking cunt, yeah?" he all but moans into the back of your neck. "too bad it's all for me."

he'll excuse himself from the table just to eat you out inside the kitchen storage room, away from your father, his colleagues, and the cooks.

messily making out with your puffy pussy, moaning into your mound when your hand pulls on his hair. "m' baby needs 't don't she?" he slurs like a drunk man. his large hands wrap around, digging into the meat of your thighs only to pull himself in deeper. you're having trouble keeping your voice down, but thankfully the kitchen is a mess of noise and masks your low mewls and his groans completely.

he sneaks back to the table while you to your chambers, but you don't miss his cheeky "oh, im afraid i've already eaten dessert."

his favorite place, however, is the place he took you for the first time. he takes his time in those moments. working you up, till you almost break, then taking you apart only to put you back together over and over again.

slowly licks up your neck, with your legs fold in front of you, he pistons himself in and out of you. your antsy hands drop from your thighs to his back, up to his neck, and down into the sheets, crying out at how deep he fucks you—at how much you can see how he's been needing you. how he's been missing you.

it's in the way he kisses and worships your body, the way he whimpers whenever he's inside you, how he looks at you, even while around so many people at your father's party. how big they got when they saw you, how wrinkled the sides were when he smiled. in the way he holds you after he's fucked you—tight and warm. how he nuzzles into your neck, kissing your shoulder, completely flush to you.

but you're no better. calling out for him whenever you touch yourself, wearing his favorite color every time he comes around, with matching panties. how you wrap your hands over his arms, kissing the meat of them. how you hide little gifts, sonnets you've worked, sweets you've baked, intimates you've worn. and the way when he writes you back, "thanking you," you feel like you could die.

it's easy to secretly write about him. gush to yourself about your scandalous love with "mr. frown," you write for hours. tuck them safely into the hole inside your closet that you made when you were younger. you write all the days you don't see him, and when you do you always have to mention something from them.

"i wish time would stop when we are together, so we can see what forever feels like."

"i need you more and more every time we part. you take a piece of me with you i desperately need back. that spins and leaps inside of you when you see him again.

"if only you'd stay tonight, then my room wouldn't feel so empty."

when you tell him this, with that sparkly look in your eyes, he pauses. looking you over.

"it won't be good for us, princess."

"why is that?"

"i won't—i won't be able to control myself, just not safe for us."

"you don't know that," you all but plead. "you have to at least be curious, of what can happen if we try?"

he understands what you're referring to because those same thoughts bounce around his mind whenever he's alone, missing you. those pestering "what if's," that keep him up, keep him wondering. the ones that eat at his resolve.

so even though it's risky, and is no good for him at all, he sinks back into your bed. kisses the back of your neck, nosing your baby hairs, and whispers a weak, "i can never say no to you"

and for a night, you two don't have to spend it missing something.

[sockatoothewafflebird]

over and over, i fuck myself over, and under and under, i do it again.

morning and evening, i felt i was grieving, until i said fuck you, and never again.

daytime or nighttime, i feel i'm on my time, but time is fickle, just like a friend.

and with my departure, from the pain i harbor, i feel i am sinking, and sailing to swim...

--

I'm worried about Ragatha.

She'd definitely be better off not looking at mirrors for a while. Even more so if she stopped reciting random depressing songs to her ceiling, for no other reason than to dig a deeper hole, to sink further down. I can hear her singing to herself every night, the same songs she plays on all her instruments. What a beautiful voice. How beautifully she plays. But, it's always so sad.

She keeps falling. Faster. Further. Her screams can't be heard anymore. And yet she never falters. How many miles - and what kind - of shit has she been through, to think this is okay? How long did it go on for, for her to think it's normal?

It's not healthy.

But she doesn't mind. Somehow. She'd break her own arms herself if it meant Zooble would stop losing their temper at her, if it meant Jax would stop terrorizing Gangle, if it meant Kinger could just remember the little things.

She's such a wonderful person. Amazing. An unstoppable ray of sunshine for anyone willing to look at her. She's the kindest person I've ever met. Even behind all that fog, she cares, maybe more than anyone. It's so sweet.

It's so easy to see she's hurting though. She hurts so much sometimes I can see her hide her tears, I can tell she deflects all the time.

If only she knew she didn't have to hide. If only she saw it. If only she knew she's more than a toy.

If only I could get through to her.

I guess I should've listened when Kaufmo said to never fall for a girl with baggage. Seeing her like this just hurts.

I hope she can figure it out. I try so hard to make sure she's doing alright, and she always insists I don't have to worry. And I can never hide how much it devastates me that she thinks I'd drop the subject so quickly, and just act like I don't care. I do care. I care so much I think i'll fucking die if she doesn't start seeing through my eyes once in a while.

God. This is the longest entry i've ever written. My hand hurts.

Goodnight, I guess. Here's to hoping.

---

my plan when i find a character i like (in no particular order):

this is how i feel about ragatha. in case you didn't notice. i love her as a character so much i just wanna put her under a damn microscope. the influence has influenced me and now i share the obsession with ragatha that mod bee from @ask-the-rag-dolly has been afflicted with.

pomni is such an observant character. and caring. and overall very smart. she can't pretend she doesn't notice all of ragatha's little lies and slip-ups.. and it eats away at her, knowing she can't do anything, knowing ragatha can't and won't accept help right now. ragatha needs to come to terms with it on her own. a therapist is what ragatha needs.

but in a video game? and in my au, in the middle of a broken world full of corporate greed and the cold, unforgiving whims of mother nature? if she found a therapist in either, it would be considered a once in a lifetime historical discovery. the school textbooks would have a chapter on it.

either way, something's up in the darkest depths of that cotton-filled brain of hers, and she's just built to think it doesn't matter. she's built to make sure everything stays nice and positive and okay. when we ALL see it's not. goddamnit ragatha i will make an oc that is a licensed therapist just so you can stop being such a sad wet dog and start practicing the art of self-partially-enjoy oh my god you sweet little door hinge

(song lyrics at the beginning are from over & over by rio romeo btw, theyre very cool pls check them out)

[thatbloke]

For months I've been watching you, learning your routines, your habits, biding my time, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. One night you forget to close the window, or maybe you leave it open on purpose, as you go to bed, and I know, my moment has come.

Quietly I enter your flat, making damn sure I don't make a noise and accidentally wake you. I see you lying on your bed, eyes closed, breathing calmly. You look like you're having a nice dream. I approach your bed, the digital clock on the bedside table reads just past midnight, and that's when I hear you moan. I grin to myself. You're having that kind of dream, I knew already what a desperate little slut you were. You never had any visitors, but you sure did finger your cunt every day.

Carefully I climb onto the bed. You don't seem to notice, too engrossed in your dream. You don't even notice when I draw the blanket back and pull your already soaked panties down. It's the only clothing you wear to bed, but I already knew that.

I don't waste much time and shove my cock into your tight cunt, groaning as I feel myself gradually stretching you open as I slide deeper. You wake with a start, how could you not? But before you can cry out my large hand covers your mouth. You realise what's happening to you and you begin to thrash around, but you're too weak and your futile attempts only turn me on more as I pound into your wet cunt.

You feel a fire building in your stomach and against your will a quiet moan spills from your lips. Horrified, you hope I haven't heard it, but nothing gets past me. I laugh.

"You're so wet," I groan and thrust even deeper. After your first few moans I take my hand from your mouth and slip a finger in. Your desperate tongue curls around it and you lick and suck, wishing it were my cock.

My other hand is gripping your hip so hard it'll bruise, but the pain is delicious and with a shout you cum harder than you ever did before. I use that chance to add a second finger into your mouth.

I continue slamming into you, drawing more and more noises from you and you can't help it and cum again shortly after. I feel as you contract around my cock as you whimper and drool, but this feels too good. This is everything you ever wanted.

I remove my finger from your mouth and wrap my hand around your throat where I squeeze gently and with every hard thrust, I increase my hold on your throat, slowly cutting off your air. You begin to feel light-headed, your pulse is beating violently beneath my palm. You should be horrified. I could end you, instead you find it thrilling, exciting and cum for a third time.

The air is leaving your lungs, but I haven't let go yet. As you ride out your orgasm, you begin to struggle and writhe around. Your delicate small fingers wrap around my wrist, but my eyes are cold and I refuse to let you breathe. Just as you feel yourself passing out from the lack of oxygen, I lessen my grip for just a fraction of an inch and you take in all the air I allow into your lungs with a choked gasp.

It's hot, seeing the blood rush back into your head, your skin turning from pallid to flushed, your eyes all unfocused. It's becoming too much for you, but I don't seem to come to an end and keep fucking your cunt. My hand moves down your body, I pinch nipples, scrape over your tummy, dig my nails into your hips. Then I reach your clit.

Rubbing it hard and fast, you feel your fourth orgasm building. It's painful to you and you squirm and whimper, begging me to stop, but you know I won't.

You cum again, tears running down your cheeks as you whimper "Please stop" over and over again. Your body aches and trembles, fighting the pleasure that shakes it to its core. I feel you tighten around me even more as I shoot thick hot ropes of my cum into you, but I keep thrusting, making damn sure my cum gets pushed up into your womb and stays there. After all, you're my breeding hole now, so I have to make sure you're filled up proper.

[anderson-residence]

Threads October

Thread tracking

If I forgot anything, let me know. Names and threads are not listed in any particular order. We all know I likely won't update this often so take it with a grain of salt. Will hopefully try for monthly at the least. This is more for me to know what threads I have than whose turn it is.

Also if it's your turn feel free to take your time. This is not to pressure or call out anything/one I'm just trying to stay organized for myself! 

If any of the links seem broken or lead to the wrong place let me know so i can try my best to correct it but no promises since it might just be tumblr being dumb.

@wynterlanding​

Ava and Landon keep running into each other from work, despite their different lines of work. A string of suspicious fires, an intriguing setup for both of them. As they keep meeting they get more comfortable together and as more mysterious fires pop up, they turn to allies trying to solve it all. But as they get closer to the truth, a new threat -something more personal- comes right for them. You're up to bat. I was last to reply. Start of thread | Last reply

Ava wishes Landon a happy birthday and offers to take him out for coffee. A mingling getting-to-know kind of thread. You're up to bat. I was last to reply. Start of thread | Last reply

Landon found Lana with a bloodied face. He helps clean her up. She is scared he is going to be mean just like Mama. Also what the hell kind of pill did she swallow? Tonight is a pizza party kind of night. You're up to bat. I was last to reply. Start of thread | Last reply

Sarah confronts Landon at his door and it gets nasty with Sarah arguing about how 'well' she treats Lana. She digs the hole deeper for herself as Landon is having none of it. You're up to bat. I was last to reply. Also I consider this taking place same day(ish) as the above Lana thread. Start of thread | Last reply

There's a special delivery for Landon. That's a very large box! This was not expected or planned. What is it? A... birth certificate for a 'Lana Wynter'...? Oh. And there's a kid inside it. She is very happy to meet you dad! I posted the starter so it's in your corner now. Start of thread | Last reply

Lana's school is having a family picnic day and Lana invited Landon to come visit her. Be sure to bring a lot of sunscreen. You're up to bat. I was last to reply. Start of thread | Last reply

The weekend is off to an interesting start as Lana spots Landon with blood on his face. What happened Mister? Did your Mama hit you too? Nothing a little bit of candy can't fix and distract for either of them I was last to reply  Start of thread | Last reply

Time for horror things. Lana keeps talking about a monster in their home where Landon sees none, Maybe the girl is just getting used to her new home or is afraid of the dark and imagining things. That's common for kids right? Then one night as they are getting home a figure stares out at them from their windows only to vanish before their eyes... I posted the starter so it's in your corner now. Start of thread | Last reply

It's time for a fall festival! There is a lot of fun to be had. fun treats, face painting, and a hayride. Landon treats Lana to a day out while also working on a story about the festival. There are a lot of twists and turns for the family this day as they encounter friends and monsters from the past. With an attempted kidnapping this fun day out turns into an all-risk situation.  I posted last. Start of thread | Last reply

Ava and Landon talk. They like doing it. Things might lead elsewhere. They enjoy each others company. I posted last. Start of thread | Last reply

@lavishbylaw​

Lana broke her arm and what better way to cheer her up than with some ice cream? Don't worry about all the concerning things she says about her arm or her 'Mama' I'm sure it's fine. I was last to reply so you're up to bat. Start of thread | Last reply

Lana is building a moon base with kinetic sand how fun! No mom she doesn't want to stop for dinner. Also, what's a good name for a moon base? I was last to reply so you're up to bat. Start of thread | Last reply

Boys have cooties and that's just gross. But it's okay that they don't want to play with a girl because Lana doesn't want to play with them either. Maybe someday. I was last to reply so you're up to bat. Start of thread | Last reply

Dinosaurs are badass! And because they are so badass of course she needs to have a dinosaur band aid on her skinned knee! I was last to reply so you're up to bat. Start of thread | Last reply

Sick days are no fun. Lana doesn't feel good. What could be wrong with her? Well, she just feels yucky like all over! And don't forget the fever that's not good but please don't give her any medicine. Medicine is yucky. I was last to reply so you're up to bat. Start of thread | Last reply

Lana is going to sue her classmate because he said 'so sue me'! Will you help miss Gen? What is she asking for? Gummy worm compensation of course. I was last to reply.  Start of thread | Last reply

Mayson is out and about once more. He hopes he won't need Gen's services someday even though some people say he will need a good lawyer oneday. What do they mean by that? Oh well I'm sure it's nothing why don't we get burgers instead? I replied last. Start of thread | Last reply

@frigid-vitality​

Lana steals but only when she's told to, mister! Most of the time she gives... by shoving lollipops into people's pockets. Beep beep I was last to reply. Start of thread | Last reply

It's horror time, something scratches at the windows and doors what could it be? A childish figure looms in the darkness I posted a start so now you're up to bat. Start of thread | Last reply

@itsagraywcrld​

Can I ask you anything? Lana has a question for Eloise but her usual no hesitation attitude is changed she is quieter. What is this all about? And why does she ask to go somewhere more private to talk? Hmm. I replied last so tag you're it! Start of thread | Last reply

More question? Oh alright... Lana has a little notepad and pencil at the ready how cute. Is she a mini journalist in the making isn't she? What is it she wanted to ask again...? Oh, where do babies come from... huh. I replied last so tag you're it! Start of thread | Last reply

Will you sign my cast? Lana has a broken wrist and is going around collecting signatures on her cast to make her happier. Of course she wants her honorary brother and to be mother to sign it too!  I replied last so tag you're it! Start of thread | Last reply

Mayson is here! And he is rather curious! Did you ever pee in a cup? Do you have all your organs? And yes his name does have a 'Y' in it. Tag you're it boop! Start of thread | Last reply

What was that sound? A boy crying in a dark alley way.. what is going on? Is he lost? Niles knows where his home is but he can't go back let's leave it at that miss. You're up to bat beep beep Start of thread | Last reply

@godccmplex​

The toddler is into things! Naked, screaming, covered in hot sauce because of course she is. Good luck Elijah. Guess we can only go up from here, hopefully? After all, she can't be any more chaotic can she?  I replied last so tag you're it! Start of thread | Last reply

Lana is into things!.... Again. This time she is upset about how her sandwich was cut so she is taking matters into her own baby hands. Beep beep you're up to bat Start of thread | Last reply

@sacrificedforthecause​

An unexpected phone call helps the family find Lana if only Gavin could play as nice with grown-ups as he does little kids. You're up to bat. I was last to reply. Start of thread | Last reply

Lana and Mayson didn't make it, how can they carry on like this? But Niles and Simon will have to find a way their other kids are counting on them to get the family through. You're up to bat. I was last to reply. Start of thread | Last reply

A new little visitor, who is she and how will she play into the family? For now, they will have to wait until she is healed before she can come home. But where is home? Will their home be her forever home too? You're up to bat. I was last to reply. Start of thread | Last reply

What happened to Niles? He's gone and thrown his wedding ring away now he's taken off. It's not all his doing, is it? Is he too far gone or can he still be saved? And how does Mayson play into all of this? You're up to bat. I was last to reply. Start of thread | Last reply

Mayson should not be left with scissors. Android Mayson tried to remove his LED but ended up digging a pair of scissors into his temple instead. Crying and bleeding it's going to be a long night for the family. You're up to bat. I was last to reply. Start of thread | Last reply

@brokenlittlesweetheart​

Hank meets Hannah alone and scared, looking for help. He goes out of his way to comfort her and help her because how could he just step away from a poor kid in need? I replied last. Start of thread | Last reply

@smolcuriouskitten​

Lana is running a lemonade stand and offers a cup to Rockelle. It is my turn to reply (and it is in my queue) Start of thread | Last reply

Connor is concerned about Rockelle after she injured her foot in pursuit of a thief. It is my turn to reply (and it is in my queue) Start of thread | Last reply

Connor loves Rockelle. Just a sweet little moment between them. It is my turn to reply. It is in my drafts. Start of thread | Last reply

Cole wants strawberry ice cream for a treat if he eats all his veggies at dinner but no worries he will eat his veggies.... but only if they are covered in cheese. Your turn Start of thread | Last reply

Toddler Cole wants to take a bath in mud because it's fun and clean isn't any fun, only mud is fun! You're up to bat I replied last. Start of thread | last reply

Connor is worried about hurting Rockelle as well as his memories being corrupted. Your turn Start of thread | Last reply