#i just don't know how to draw owls and i spent all day yesterday looking at owl photos for reference...

[the-dance-of-italy]

Well since my original file had disappeared and my computer almost died, I had to redraw 16 expressions out of god knows how many I had originally in my other reference sheet...

Who knew drawing beaks was so difficult...

[stillpartofthisworld]

Synopsis: Angus learns first-hand the risks of his career and begins a new one. Taako isn’t happy.

(I deserve to burn for what I’ve written….)

Story under the cut! Note: Major character death

"You gonna need this gift wrapped?"

Taako snaps out of his daze and brings his attention to the small human girl in front of him. She was holding a book in her hands- the newest installation of the Caleb Cleveland: Kid Cop series. For a moment, Taako wonders why he's there. In a small, cozy bookshop, looking down at a girl who defo needs some face cream, those pimples are just-

"Sir? You alright?"

Oh .

The world finally sews itself back together, memories clicking into place as Taako waves his hand in the universal "no" gesture.

I'm not alright.

"Nah, no gift wrapping for me, hombre. How much is the kid book?"

She tells him and he pays, giving her a tip because that's what he felt like doing today, not because of the understanding look she gives him, or the casual slide of the tissue box that he clearly did not need (he wasn't about to ruin his eyeliner for anything). He gives her a few extra gold and even the name of a good cleanser (it'll do magic, honey, no pun intended-) because that's what he felt like doing as he exited the small shop and put on his sparkling frame sunglasses, even though the sky was overcast with clouds. It was a fine day, he told himself, and he was doing just fine as he headed over to Lucretia’s house.

---

Lucretia's modest cottage is sometimes referred to as a "safe house".

It's a quaint little place, all brick and class-the same things Lucretia herself was probably made out of. Most of the actual property is a green space, filled with forest and meadow and a small greenhouse for Merle's more...interesting specimens. It's also quite close to the Neverwinter Grand Library, Lucretia's only pride and joy on the prime material plane. She spent an unholy amount of time there, only coming home for a change of clothes and to chastise the guests who use her home as a sort of vacation house.

She spends a lot of time at home now.

Taako slips in through the kitchens back door with a key that hangs fashionably around the neck of his hat. It's one of the few copies Lucretia had made for the IPRE crew, along with a few others. Through the years, her home became sort of like the Starblaster all over again, filled with Lup's laughter, Davenport's postcards, Lucretia’s writing, Magnus's hugs, Merle's dances and Barry's stammer. It was what "home" meant to them now, even when they each had an apartment, a bungalow or a lab somewhere else on the continent. It was where they truly came together again and lived, making up for the lost time through closeness and touch and sight.

It was now also home to whispers and deep sighs, which Taako could hear all the way from the other side of the house.

"...worried about him, Magnus. He's been like this since..."

"...seems to be getting a bit better. He was able to get up yesterday, wasn't he?"

"The symptoms aren't...we can't wait for Lup and Barry forever. He can't wait-"

"He's a strong boy, 'Creesh. He already seems to be on the mend."

"So were you. All those years ago, so were you. "

The voice cracks and dissolves into muffled sobs. Taako hears Magnus's footsteps as he gets up and hugs Lucretia tight, as if he could shield her from the fate of the boy that lay in bed a floor above them.

The same boy Taako was going to see now.

The wooden steps didn't creak under his light weight as he sneaks past the pair and tiptoes up the cedar staircase. Even from this distance, he can hear the boy's labored breathing as he fights a losing battle for his life. Each breath, each step assails the wizard with memories, memories of how, exactly, this all came to pass.

The memory of Angus, dirty but whole, screeching and jumping into Taako's arms when they finally land back on the material plane in the Starblaster.

The memory of Angus's face, stricken but resigned, as the crew starts to decide how to restart and rebuild on this broken continent.

The memory of his cherubic, beaming grin as Magnus offers to take him in, with Taako appearing every so often for impromptu magic lessons.

The memory of a boy slowly but surely maturing into a young man, to the point where Taako isn't even sure exactly when Angus came to be his height, or when he was able to cast level eight spells like it was nothing. He, unlike most teenagers, never adopted a sullen or snappy temperament. Taako is almost sad that this never happened. Almost.

The memory of Angus, now seventeen years of age, taking on a case of a mysterious death by apparent poison. He enlists the help of Lup and Barry for this task, reportedly sending them samples of blood and plants every so often.

The memory of Magnus showing Taako the note Angus left him, detailing that he had found the murderer and would be capturing him during a train ride to Rockport. Back soon, he wrote.

The memory of Angus in a hospital, seizing and shivering violently as Merle tries to draw the poison out of his system. The culprit is gone in a wisp of ash and screams, and the authorities try to explain what had happened to a sobbing Magnus and pale Lucretia. The culprit had apparently found a new species of deadly mushroom spores. Barry and Taako both shoot a glance at Magnus.

The memory of Lup sitting Taako down in their room, telling him what they already both knew. The mushroom shares the exact same qualities as the one they had found on another plane a century before, the one Magnus had succumbed to all those lifetimes ago. Angus is not much younger than the IPRE Magnus. Lup reassures him that they are trying everything they can to create a cure. Taako smiles and high fives his sister, digging his feet into the floor in an attempt to stop them from shaking.

The memory of Magnus rushing in and finding Taako curled up in a ball on his chair, dry sobs escaping him as Magnus holds him tight, nearly crushing his ribs and making him forget whether or not he's breathing.

Is he breathing?

Taako takes a breath.

He's standing outside the kid's door now. The door is never shut, never locked in fear of missing something, of missing someone. The room is dark, save for a lamp beside the bed where Angus lay. He's sitting up now, reaching for his glasses in order to make out the small figure that stood at his door frame. They were no longer the wire-rimmed, owl-eyed glasses he had worn in his childhood-these looked professional, rectangular shaped with gold frames and pieces of jade at the temples. That was Taako's gift to him on his sixteenth birthday. How happy he had looked when he looked in the box. How vibrant. How youthful.

The vibrancy he had less than a year ago has been drained from McDonald's very being. The detective looks ghastly pale, with deep purple bags under his eyes even though he had just woken up from sleep. He moves slowly, painfully, deliberately, as if living needed to be choreographed to ensure minimal pain.

Taako moves closer as the boy's eyes focus on him, and his listless features carve themselves into a deliberate smile. "Hello, Sir," he rasps weakly, waving at him with long, skeletal fingers as he grasps for a drink with his other hand, missing the glass on his nightstand by a mile.

Taako waves his wand. The glass gently lowers itself into Angus's outstretched palm, the water from the pitcher floating up from its vessel to fill the glass. Angus smiles and takes a sip, clearing his throat as he settles himself into a cross-legged position. The light green shirt that used to be barely his size now hangs free from his body, his legs still covered by the heavy duvet. He seems to get chills often. It also seems to be summer.

Taako breathes.

"Hey there,kid," he says as he ruffles the kid's hair. "Guess what your dude bought you?" He puts the book behind his back and flashes him a smirk when he sees Angus's face scrunch into a small scowl at his words. "I'm not a kid, sir," he protests, which only makes Taako want to call him a kid even more. "And I already know you got me the next Caleb Cleveland novel. Your hand tapping gives it away.” Angus pauses, bringing up information catalogued in that huge brain of his. “Are you nervous, sir? You always hand tap things when you're nervous.”

Damn. The kid’s dying and can still read him like a book.

Hesnotdyinghesnotdyinghesjustsick-

“Why would I be nervous, bubbleh? I'm just giving you a hint.” He flashes him a sly smile, as if he had planned everything in advance while handing him the book. Angus, to his credit, just rolls his eyes and accepts the gift, his frail arms straining to carry the weight of two pounds of writing. A memory assails the elf-one of Angus challenging a slightly drunk Magnus to a pushup competition and carrying the weight of both Davenport and Merle on his back before collapsing in a heap of laughter and sweat, glasses pushed up to the top of his head. The boy had loved to show off his strength to the rest of them, especially when they treated him like the ten year old they had met so long ago on a train to Rockport. Humans-so quick to age. So quick to die.

But never quite this quick. Never quite so young.

Angus pushes his glasses up his nose and winces uncrossing his legs and letting himself sink farther back into the bed. The book had already been set on his lap, and judging by the dazed yet determined expression the human had, he was set on reading it all before he fell asleep again, something he was now prone to doing (Magnus used to doze off at the most inopportune times when they were on that planet. They thought he would be killed by his sleeping spells before the poison took him). He saw the boy’s hands dance along the cover of the book, excited to read the newest adventure of the character he had strived to be like for years. He also saw the pain and weariness that coursed through his body, as if living needed to be choreographed to minimize pain, and he had stumbled on a number he did not know.

Taako takes a breath.

“Wanna hear a bedtime story kid?”

He casts a feeble Mage Hand, picking the book up from the human’s lap and flipping it open to the first page. He looks up to see Angus staring at him, a myriad of emotions swirling beneath his dark pupils. He could see some happiness, yes; through the way his eyes crinkled at the idea of being read to at such an age, and the way the boy said “Thank you, sir!” as if he had just saved the kid's life.

But mostly, all he saw was weariness.

Angus was tired.

So, so tired.

The thought stays with him as he begins to read aloud, watching the child sink into his bed and slowly close his eyes. The only indication that he was awake was the regular expansion of his chest and the way his mouth quirked upward when Taako uses different voices for characters. After a while, Taako forgets to look at the boy every so often, losing himself between the pages of a book that both of them are too old to read. It's a welcome distraction, and Taako doesn't even notice when the boy's breaths start to even out and deepen.

He does notice his name being whispered from the back of the room.

“Taako?”

He turns around to see Kravitz.

The reaper is still in the smart suit of his profession, the only flashes of colour being in the blood red of his tie and the gold bands that adorned his hair (both which were obviously chosen by none other than Taako himself). He has a clipboard in hand, and he glances down at it briefly before looking back at the wizard. He looks absolutely stricken as he whispers Taako’s name again, causing the elf to put down the novel and tilt his hat backward to see him in full.

“‘'Suuuuup, babe,” he shout-whispers. “You finished work early today.”

Kravitz swallows, his Adams apple bobbing visibly in his throat. “N-not yet, exactly.” His voice still carries a Cockney accent, growing fainter by the day as Lup bullies him about it during work hours. He only uses it on solo missions now. Taako swings his feet and gets off the chair, gently setting the book on Angus's nightstand, not taking his eyes off Kravitz for a second. “Aww,” he cooes, striding over and straightening the reaper’s suit, smoothing the collar as he asks “Did you miss me? Your boss isn’t going to like it if you skimp on work just for lil’ol’me.”

Kravitz looks down at him and for the first time in his life, Taako can't read his facial expression. The reaper brings his hands up to his chest and curls them around the elf’s, sending shivers down his spine and for a second Taako nearly loses his balance, caught in the riptide of both fear and excitement as he watched Kravitz try to find the words to say in a moment he has no name for-

“Taako,” The words are slow, hesitant and Kravitz drops off for a bit before swallowing again and continuing. “Could you cast Blink?”

What?

Taako overrides his confusion with an arrogant eyebrow raise. “That's a spell slot, babe,” he says, splaying his fingers on Kravitz's chest because dammit, that kid was right, I really do tap my fingers - “Mind telling me what for?”

“You’ll know when you cast it.”

The tone is enough to get Taako untangled from his grasp and ready the spell, fear coming over him in a cascade as his eyes begin to close, memories nearly a century old dripping into his brain like ink of monsters-

3

Of eyes-

2

Of darkness-

1

Blink.

The world seems to bleed in front of Taako’s eyes, slowly yet instantly losing their color and tangibility around him. His body does a quick 360, an instinct instilled in him from years of scanning, spotting, scaring, running-

He does not find the Hunger (how could he, how could he).

He finds something much, much worse.

“Hello, Sir.”

Angus McDonald sits on the edge of his bed.

The boy detective looks better than he has in months. His sickly posture and demeanor are nonexistent, and he slides off the bed and walks toward Taako with the ease a young man should carry, as if living was a wild dance without choreography. His glasses are gone too, although he does paw at his shirt for a second, looking for them although he doesn’t really need them now, does he? He comes and stands in front of Taako, hands in his pockets and a sheepish grin on his face.

“Ango?” Taako looks at him, blinking. “You can’t be here.Did you use a spell slot in that condition, kid?”

Angus looks at his mentor, the sheepish smile watering down into something a bit sadder, a bit regretful. “I didn’t need to this time, Sir. Apparently, you can Blink into the ethereal plane...or you can just die.” His gaze shifts away from Taako, settling on a figure behind him. “Isn’t that right, Kravitz?”

Taako turns and sees his boyfriend in all his monochrome glory, nervously glancing between the two mortals. He looks a bit guilty, Taako realizes. Like he had known this was going to happen. Kravitz sees the realization dawning on his face and sighs, flipping pages on his clipboard. “Angus McDonald, seventeen years of age, dead by poison aftereffects.” He looks at Angus, who nods imperceptibly and Kravitz clears his throat to read the last line. “Slated to become a reaper under the guidance of Her Worship, the Raven Queen.”

Silence.

“Ok, what .”

Taako gestures at Angus. “This kid. Is seventeen. Seventeen! That isn't even half a century yet! And you're telling me he’s dead?”

“Sir, I did die of poison.”

“You were getting better, Ango. I heard Lucy talking about you downstairs.”

“She's certainly not going to be happy with a dead body in her house, is she?” Angus smirks a bit and Taako stares at him, exasperated.

“Is this a phase for you, kid?” Taako leans in and pokes Angus’s chest, his heart dropping as his finger actually meets flesh. He keeps going. “Are you finally going all emo on us? Death isn't a good thing, boy, take it from someone who’s been there, done that .”

“Hey,” Kravitz mutters, but Taako ignores him.

“Listen,” His voice drops, his voice drops in that way it only does when he's negotiating, when he's bargaining, when he's desperate. “The Raven Queen owes us, like, a bajillion favours. I'm sure we can get her to overlook a soul.”

“And go back into my body?” A flash of pain goes through Angus’s eyes, and for a second Taako regrets not thinking of all the suffering this child has gone through in his fragile human body. “No, thank you.”

“We still have Barry’s body-making thingamajig.” He could practically hear Barry now, chiding him and telling him to “stop referring to the blah-blah-blah as a thingamajig!, but the thought of his family still gives him a small dose of confidence. They had outwitted death over a hundred times; they could do it once more.

“That takes months to work.” Angus points out. (Kravitz mutters something about breaking the whole damn rulebook, but they both ignore him.) He's about to open his mouth again when Angus puts a hand on his shoulder. “Taako,” He says, and for some reason Angus suddenly looks much, much older than seventeen. “Thank you for thinking about me, I-I really appreciate it. But I've known that I've been dying for weeks now. I've settled my accounts and everything-my will is in my nightstand drawer, take that to Lucretia by the way-and I got Kravitz to secure me a job so, so I'm not really gone, sir. I'll just be a while.”

Taako feels an uncomfortable tightness in his chest.

He's felt it before, when he saw Magnus taken over by darkness as the Starblaster flew away all those years ago. He felt it every single time his sister died, when she became something other with her lover to save them all. He felt it multiple times here, even when his mind was split and his memories fractured. He felt it every single damn time he looked at Lucretia's face.

“Don't patronize me, kid,” he mutters and knocks his hand off of his shoulder, tipping his hat down to shade his face. “Fine, go. Don't blame me if Lup makes you work your ass off.”

Angus is silent for a beat before breaking into a beaming grin and enveloping Taako in a bear hug. The elf goes stiff in his arms but allows this to happen, trying to remember the paper-and-blood smell the detective had when he was alive and ignoring Kravitz and his nervous habit of twirling his scythe.  “Don't worry about me, sir!” he says and Taako nearly says “Screw it,” and shoots Kravitz for even daring to take this one good thing away from him but he doesn't, he merely nods and says “Good luck with reaper training, homie,”

And just like that he's gone, walking side by side with Kravitz and the spell wears off, Taako appearing back onto the material plane 10 feet from where he cast, sinking back into the chair beside Angus’s dead body. It's only been minutes, primary flaccidity already setting in but other than that he looks as if he's just sleeping.

Taako stares at him for a long time.

He should probably move, go downstairs and tell the rest of them the news, give Lucretia his will and assure them that he was coming back to annoy them all as a reaper in probably, like, a week but he just sits there, stewing in the cool darkness of the room before a knock echoes and Lucretia comes in, balancing a tray of food in one hand.

“Angus?” she says and stops when she sees Taako. “Taako? What are you-” She reads his expression and her face goes slack, hands moving up to her mouth as the food tray hits the floor with a loud crash.

“No.” She says, and the sorrow in her voice is like a jolt of electricity, racing down his spine and restarting his heart and mind as they both process the still body lying on the bed.

“No, is he-?”  

“He's a reaper, now, Lucy, calm down.” He’s by her side in an instant, holding her by the elbows because she'll crumple to the ground if he doesn't, just as she did every year Magnus died on the Starblaster even though she knew he'd be back and dammit, he's feeling a bit shaky as well.

“Were you-” she swallows, drawing her eyes away from the bed and towards him, and in that moment he felt nothing but pity and compassion towards her, like all those times when they would drink tea and mourn together in those horrible cycles where both Magnus and Lup died, the vitality of the group drained with their nonexistence.

“Were you there for it?”

“The kid knew his time was coming, Lucretia. He even left a will for you, we talked in his ghostsona.” She chokes back a sob and he sighs, rubbing her back. “You did everything you could, Lucy,” he mutters, feeling the vibrations of the wood floor as Magnus rushes up the stairs, probably to investigate the loud crash. “You always do,” he says and suddenly Magnus is there, he's there and he's staring at Angus and it looks like he's reliving his own death all over again. He reaches for the two of them and they let him envelop them in his arms, all of them shaking as they take in and truly realize that death wasn't something they had the luxury of running from anymore.

-

He's back a week after his funeral, already able to hold a scythe casually in one hand and look through files with the other. He's back and he looks healthy and happy, talking about his new job looking through the special cases that hadn't been solved yet (“He's already Big Momma’s fave,” Lup teases and Angus blushes before clapping back, “Is it because I can actually do my job?”. The whole group explodes into laughter, even as Lup pulls up her sleeves and Barry has to physically hold her back from fighting him.).

He's back, and he's happy and Taako tells himself that's all that matters, but when the boy reaper puts his arms around him and he's cold, unbearably cold Taako nearly crumples in his arms and cries, wanting to tell him that he was sorry, he should have protected him somehow, he should have saved him somehow from death but he just smirks and calls him “boy icepack” before retiring into the kitchen and whipping up some mean ceviche.

Because sometimes, it's all you can do.