#i jsut want to starve and suffer because i dont deserve such basic needs but if i do my body immediately gets sick
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I feel like a thief
#tomorrow is my second day at a local con#even though i did way better than expected today i felt so ill. felt like i made my friends angry so many times#i couldnt even help well because of how sick i felt and kept making messes#and like. i know this is mostly because i had to forcefully lower my daily antidepressant dose cuz im running out of pills so im trying#to ride it out without making a scene#but i want to die so much. i dont want to go back so my friends will have more space and wont have a disastrous person making everything#more stressful#i feel like such a piece of absolute shit for selling things today. i should have sold it all at a lower price. i should have gifted it#i feel like i should give back the money to as many people as i can#im such a fucking thief i cant live with myself. and i keep stealing from everyone by continuing to go sell at cons#im unable to get picked for anything because im sure everyone must notice what a sham i am. i want to jump into a train or from a tall place#if im in pieces i cant have all the horrible thoughts telling me what a shameful conman i am#the way i keep trying with all this is so selfish. im taking spots that could be better used in other people#im wasting everyones time and money#i jsut want to starve and suffer because i dont deserve such basic needs but if i do my body immediately gets sick#from how weak it is. i will just be an ever bigger burden if i do that. i just want to suffer and atone for my horrible existance#haunted.txt
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