#i intend to get the english manga eventually too because that's probably one of the better ways to show english-language interest

[xoteajays]

yessss, please tell me all about rikaine, i love her already !! ( and as i’ve said i think she and my girls lark and star would be besties <3 )

hope you’re doing well, love !! <3

yayyy it's the attention i wanted agsghfsjfjkl so rikaine is her surname, koi is her first name. it's another surname first situation with op. (let lark and koi duet jolly sailor bold so sanji and zoro can collectively lose their minds about it. star and koi 🤝 being hot redhead zoro ships) i'm doing well, thank you! ♡♡

to get the smaller details out of the way: she's a zoro ship, is a half-mermaid, she doesn't have a devil fruit power but does have merfolk abilities, like being a very fast swimmer, breathing underwater, and talking to fish.

okay, so, let's start with her parents. her father is pirate captain rikaine colt. he began his piracy career as a pre-teen, years before gold roger's death. he started out as a powder monkey and eventually worked his way up to captain after he and his crew mutinied against their original captain. to say the least, colt was very charismatic. later, as captain, he met koi's mother, esmarie, a mermaid with a fascination for humans. (esmarie is way more little mermaid coded than koi).

esmarie and colt were never married or anything, but they did have an affection for each other. after koi was born, esmarie was a very hands-off parent, she loved her daughter but loved her freedom more. that didn't bother koi too much since she had her father. colt loved his daughter more than anything. koi probably had the best childhood of all the straw hats tbh. she grew up on - and in the ocean around - her father's ship. just imagine this big pirate dude carrying around a tiny merchild. the crew also adored koi. they rigged up a machine on the side of the ship to lift koi from the water easier; they made a game of throwing her back into the ocean and cheering when she did a flip or a perfect dive. the crew was as much family to koi as they were to colt. they do all try to keep koi out of the pirate stuff though.

all was fine and dandy until koi was about 15. colt's ship was overtaken by the legendarily cruel pirate captain blacktide (real name, lyne tydell). blacktide's own ship was on the way to being totally destroyed after a battle and he intended to take someone else's ship. there was little colt could do when blacktide came aboard and demanded he cede his captaincy; this is because of blacktide's devil fruit, the ubau ubau no mi (or yoink yoink fruit in english), which allows him to take aspects from people and keep them in a physical bottle. when colt initially faltered, one of his crewmates tried to stand up for him and blacktide took his eyes, leaving him completely blind. to protect the rest of his crew, colt handed over his captaincy and ship to blacktide.

of course, there was no time to tell koi any of this and when she came aboard, she was swiftly captured by blacktide. he wanted to keep her as a prize and trophy, as a faux show of wealth to play like the rich people who would spent millions on mermaids. it quickly became obvious how important koi is to the crew though and blacktide decided he could use her as a tool to keep them in line. years later, when koi is closer to 17/18 (maybe older? idk if the la ages are the same as the manga/anime), blacktide discovered rumors of a mutiny amongst the original crew and chose to punish koi to punish the crew; he took her tail. the ubau ubau power is a painful process and koi lists it as one of the worst agonies she's ever experienced. it breaks her father's heart.

colt begs one of his original crewmates, luz, to take koi and free her somewhere far from blacktide's reaches. though initially hesitant, luz eventually agrees and takes koi in the night when everyone else is asleep.

this is where it gets a lil hazy for me. i'm not fully committed to how koi meets the straw hats, but what i have going so far is: luz leaves her on the shores of orange town, it's dark so they don't know that the city is in ruins. by daybreak, koi is discovered and captured by buggy's crew. she plays at being a part of his crew, but he doesn't really have a part for her in his 'show', so she's mainly kept in the back. she was supposed to be keeping an eye on zoro and nami to make sure they don't escape while buggy deals with luffy. she stays hidden from them until she hears cabaji coming and rushes to stop nami from getting caught picking her lock. when zoro, nami and luffy are fighting buggy, she tries to free the orange town citizens but they're too scared to run.

when the straw hats are leaving, she begs asks to come with them. nami and zoro are originally going to say no, but luffy being luffy is of course like 'more the merrier' and lets her come along. as they set off, she explains to them all about her past and luffy is all the more insistent to help her get her tail back.

bonus: blacktide and luz! i cannot find a usable colt fc to save my life.

[albertonykus]

Doraemon Movie Review: Nobita and the Steel Troops (1986) and Nobita and the New Steel Troops (2011)

What is Doraemon? The title character of the Doraemon manga and anime is a blue robotic cat from the 22nd Century who keeps an array of high-tech gadgets in a portable pocket dimension on his belly, and has traveled from the future to improve the fortunes of a hapless schoolboy named Nobita. Although relatively obscure in the English-speaking world, Doraemon is a Mickey-Mouse-level cultural icon in East Asia (and some other regions, too). The Doraemon franchise was a big part of my childhood, and there are still elements of it that I enjoy now.

Doraemon has released theatrical films almost annually since 1980, most of which involve Nobita and his friends (kind Shizuka, brash Gian, and crafty Suneo) getting swept into adventures thanks to Doraemon's gadgets. Despite being of potentially broad appeal to fans of science fiction and animated films, there are very few English reviews of the Doraemon movies, so I'm embarking on a project to write about all the films that have come out so far. Good luck to me…

Movie premise: Nobita and his friends defend the Earth from an army of alien robots.

My spoiler-free take: Although not without a few contrivances and logical inconsistencies, this is remembered as one of the most emotional Doraemon movies for good reason.

The 2011 remake tries to recapture the strong emotions of the original, but I think the addition of an annoying character and reduced tension works against it. Would not recommend over the original.

POTENTIAL SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT

Review: Ah yes, the one where a handful of kids and their robot babysitter fight an unwinnable battle against alien war machines that want to enslave humanity. This film is known as one of the most emotionally charged Doraemon movies, and it certainly lives up to its reputation. The heroes' increasing desperation against the overwhelming numbers of the robot army, the robot spy Riruru's change in perspective and eventual decision to sacrifice herself to end the war, and Shizuka's reaction to the latter are all pretty effective emotional beats.

This is a very strong entry in the franchise, though it does have some flaws. Probably the most obvious to me is the contrived way in which Shizuka gets drawn into the main plot. About halfway through the movie, the main characters (sans Shizuka) decide they need to enter a mirror dimension. To do so, they require a sufficiently large, still reflective surface to act as a portal, so Nobita gets the brilliant idea to use... Shizuka’s bathtub for this purpose. Hold on a second—you could have used your own damn bathtub, Nobita! What’s more, he chooses not to inform Shizuka about this “for her protection”... but if there’s anything well known about Shizuka’s character, it’s that taking baths is one of her favorite hobbies. Naturally, she discovers the portal while the others are away, goes through it, and nearly meets her end at the hands of killer robots that are trapped on the other side. Well done, Nobita.

It’s a good thing for humanity though that Shizuka found her way through the portal, because it’s her caring for an injured Riruru and remembering that Doraemon has a Time Machine that prove to be critical elements in stopping the robot invasion.

Shizuka-saves-the-day count (cumulative): 4

Given that the ending involves the robot army being wiped from existence through the alteration of history, it has been pointed out that the main characters shouldn’t retain any memory of the events of this movie. This is a clear example where the emotional resonance of the story is intended to take precedence over strict logic, however, so it’s not something that damages my enjoyment of the film very much.

Star rating: ★★★★☆

You can bet that one of the oldest and most popular Doraemon movies received a remake in the reboot series!

Review: The biggest change in this version is probably that one of the characters was completely overhauled. In the original movie, the protagonists commandeered a computer from the aliens and forcibly reprogrammed it to fight on their side. Indeed, the computer barely qualified as an actual character there, despite being seemingly sentient. Here, however, it becomes a full-fledged member of the cast that undergoes his own story arc.

It’s a good idea on paper, but I had some problems with the execution. For one, during most of his screentime, the computer (which the main characters nickname “Pippo”) is... very annoying. For another, in an attempt to make him more marketable facilitate communication, the protagonists transform Pippo... into a talking chicken, without consent and by all appearances permanently, which comes across as being nearly as ethically dubious as the forced reprogramming in the original.

Furthermore, the expansion of Pippo’s role comes at the expense of another character: Suneo’s toy robot, Micros, who was granted sentience by Doraemon partway through the original story. Here, this never happens and Micros remains a regular toy. It wouldn’t surprise me if some other viewers considered Micros to be annoying in the original; however, I thought he was a generally fun character who mostly didn’t overstay his welcome and still offered genuine assistance to the heroes despite his foibles.

Additionally, the comic relief Micros provided felt necessary given the otherwise tense atmosphere in the original movie, much of which is lost in the remake. For example, in one scene where the main characters are looking for Riruru, the original showed them staying vigilant during their search and taking steps to avoid detection by the robot army. In the remake, they wander around calling for her with little apparent regard for the looming threat.

Finally, Pippo’s presence removes the emotional contrast that originally followed the climax. In the original, the boys were overjoyed when the robot army they’d been fighting mysteriously disappeared, only to become somber when Shizuka returned and informed them of Riruru’s sacrifice. Here, due to Pippo sharing a psychic link with Riruru, the boys are fully aware of what is happening. It’s a relatively minor difference in the grand scheme of things, but one that I think substantially changes the emotional impact of the scene.

(I did like this joke from the remake though. Doraemon’s “what am I, chopped liver?” reaction when Nobita begs him for a cool robot with amazing capabilities was quite funny.)

It may sound like I have many complaints about the remake, but if there were no original version to compare it to, it might have still edged into three-star territory for me. Knowing that a more compelling adaptation of the story exists, however, my personal enthusiasm for the remake probably rates no higher than two stars.

Star rating: ★★☆☆☆

Original or remake? At risk of repeating myself here, I prefer the original in this case.

[marshmallowgoop]

[Image description: A photograph of Part 8, Volume 7 of the Japanese Detective Conan DVDs. The cover features a smiling Conan Edogawa wearing Kid the Phantom Thief’s iconic white suit, cape, top hat, and monocle, with a red bow tie in place of the long red tie, against a pink background. At the bottom, text reads, “Shonen Sunday TV Animation Series” in all capital letters. Four small screenshots from the included episode, 219, are depicted beneath the words. End image description.]

It’s not something I would think most people are interested in doing, but, okay, I got a copy of Part 8, Volume 7 of the Japanese Detective Conan DVDs in the mail last week—and more Conan DVDs, too, like about a dozen other volumes I was missing—and if I have any advice for somebody looking to legally fill in the gap between FUNimation’s English-language DVDs (up to Episode 123) and Crunchyroll’s simulcast of the show in Canada and the United States (starting from Episode 754), it would be this: just buy complete season sets and do not purchase separately.

That is, so long as you’re not aiming to be a collector and simply want to have access to the episodes without spending hundreds of thousands of yen. As of this writing, you could probably use Tenso or another Japanese proxy service to buy a shiny new copy of every last volume straight from the shop linked on YTV’s page for the anime, but this is not cheap. Selling for 4,620 yen each, you’d to have shell out at least 776,160 yen to get a hold of the 168 DVDs containing Episodes 124-753—and that’s without factoring in shipping, service fees, and other costs!

If that’s as unfeasible for you as it is for me, you may, as I did, consider buying only used rental volumes containing the most crucial episodes, as outlined in XerBlade’s well-known list, because even if you’re not spending 4,620 yen a pop, 168 DVDs is still a lot of DVDs. Rental copies often sell for 100 to 400 yen apiece, and while they are missing the postcard version of the cover art, have plainer discs, and lack the keyhole jacket design seen on the regular volumes, they’ve got the episodes, and that’s what you’re really after, anyway. So, sure, rental drops may be worn and affixed with obsolete stickers, but they’re inexpensive, the actual disc content appears to be identical to non-rental copies, and it seems economical to pick ‘em up one by one. You only want a select number, after all.

[Image descriptions: Two photographs comparing Part 10, Volume 4 and Part 14, Volume 1 of the Japanese Detective Conan DVDs. The top photo compares the cover art; while Part 10, Volume 4, my only non-rental Conan volume, includes a two-color background with a blue keyhole design surrounded by white, Part 14, Volume 1, a rental copy, has a single-color background, a solid green-blue color, with no keyhole design. The bottom photo compares the disc designs between the two; while Part 10, Volume 4′s disc includes a two-toned sketch of a zoomed-in portion of the cover art, Part 14, Volume 1′s disc, as well as other Part 14 discs that I’ve included in the same DVD case, are all solid colors with no sketch of the cover art. Further, Part 10, Volume 4 also includes a postcard version of the cover art, which is tucked into the left side of the DVD case. End image descriptions.]

But then you might realize that you’re missing a lot of good episodes by buying only super plot-relevant cases, and so you decide, well, actually, I want to get all the manga-canon stories. And you look at the contents of each volume, and you do the math, and you see that you’ll need 152 DVDs to accomplish that goal, and by then, you’re like, well, I’m so close, I might as well go all the way and get the full 168.

Except... if you’re anything like me, you’ve kinda already made some bad decisions in your collecting. And Part 8, Volume 7, containing Episode 219 and a Conan-cosplaying-Kid-the-Phantom-Thief cover, is a great example. Because, yes, most rental copies will sell for about 100 to 400 yen each. But then there are volumes that contain well-loved episodes—Part 5, Volume 8 (129), Part 14, Volume 10 (425), and, of course, Part 8, Volume 7 (219), for a few examples—and suddenly, you’re not finding those ridiculously low prices. You’re seeing 1,500, 1,700, 1,980 yen.

You know, almost the same prices—if not more!—than a whole season set.

[Image description: A screenshot comparing the lowest prices I could currently find on From Japan for Part 8, Volume 7 of the Japanese Detective Conan DVDs and a bundle containing all 7 volumes of Part 8. The lowest-price Part 8, Volume 7 has a “Buy It Now” price of 1,980 yen, the equivalent of around 18.74 USD. The lowest-price full-season set has a price of 1,800 yen, the equivalent of around 17.03 USD. End image description.]

Sometimes, those cherished episodes are rereleased in different collections, and those sell closer to the super low prices of other volumes. For example, I purchased DVD Selection 4, focused on Ai Haibara and containing Episodes 129 and 178, instead of Part 5, Volume 8, for a lower price. But then there are episodes like 219 that weren’t, to my knowledge, rereleased elsewhere. To complete the collection, you really only then have two choices: either spend way more on a single volume, or get a whole season set and wind up with duplicates.

Well, for Part 8, Volume 7, I spent way more. I got duplicates for Part 16, though.

Anyway, long story short: even if you do want to just get crucial-episode volumes only, I’d still probably suggest purchasing whole season sets if you’d like to save money. (And hey, then you’ll also have those other episodes if you’d like to give them a watch sometime!) Rental drops for entire parts sell for around 2,000 to 5,000 yen each, and while service fees will of course depend on the service, I believe that every one I’ve ever tried—Buyee, From Japan, and Tenso—would count the bundle as a single item that would be attached to only a single service fee. Further, you won’t have to pay multiple domestic shipping costs for each volume in the season, either! (And believe me, those can add up fast.)

But all that said, mistakes were made in my DetCo DVD saga, absolutely, but I’ve rearranged my shelves and filled in some gaps since I last posted on the subject, and I’m pleased with what I have! And maybe it’s an odd thing to say, but it’s been fun seeing the differing qualities of my purchases—how you can look at my shelf and see the tears in the copies with more life experience, and the wrinkles, and the old remnants of stickers that are no longer there, while right beside them, there are those that appear so pristine that I have to seriously wonder if they were ever truly rented out at all.

[Image descriptions: Photographs of my DVD/Blu-ray shelves. On display are 5-6, 6-7, 7-8, 8-1, 9-2, 9-3, 10-4, 10-5, 11-1, 11-2, 12-3, 12-4, 13-5, 14-1, 14-2, 15-3, 16-4, 16-5, 17-1, 17-2, 18-3, 19-4, 19-5, 20-6, 20-7, 21-8, and 22-9 of the Japanese Detective Conan DVDs, among other DVDs and Blu-rays, such as a few of the Conan films and specials, Ghost in the Shell, and Kiki’s Delivery Service. End image descriptions.]

I guess I’ve always been a terrible collector, and I don’t have the space to properly display everything, but I love how colorful these DVDs are, and I even find something charming in how they vary in appearance, too.

Still, I could have been a lot smarter with my money, and while I wouldn’t really expect a lot of folks to go to these lengths, if you do, and if you’re looking to save some cash, don’t make the same mistakes I did! Just buy whole season sets! You can even place the 168 DVDs perfectly into 28 6-DVD cases if you do!

[transhawks]

Ok but like what do we think Keigo's breakdown is going to look like? Do we think that he's going to like explode into a complete mess and spiral, tears, screaming, everything, or is it going to be quiet? Like he finally snaps, and just dissociates and depersonalizes the shit out of himself and the situation around him, so he's just there but only physically? If he were to breakdown on the outside, someone, like Shōto or Tokoyami (if he's still on the battlefield) will most probably tell him, that this is no time to get emotional, but I feel like Keigo would be too far gone to suppress it again. So, I had an idea. Since we can see some parallels between Takami Tomie and Junji Ito's Tomie, and Ito makes horror manga, what if we we're shown the inside of Keigo's mind in that moment. Horikoshi has already said that he wants to do horror manga in the future, so it would be interesting, if we got some horror panels that are essentially the inside of Takami Keigo's tired, breaking mind.

I just wanted to know your opinion on this, since I LOVE your analyses and frequently come here to get my daily dose of Hawks angst. Have a good day :)

(Also, I'm sorry if I spelled anything incorrectly, english is not my native language 😅)

This I don't know - currently he's acting more and more ruthless and tearing down that false facade of being cheeky and cute. Much like we sometimes have him break uncanny valley with an "off-human" sort of thing (places he looks very raptor-ish), I think Horikoshi might go that route, perhaps. The mangaka's done small things that make me think of Hawks being trained like a raptor (I'm sure Hori has a hand in that one ending where Keigo was blindfolded) for falconry, and perhaps he just has a moment of losing himself to his instincts. He might hurt someone he doesn't intend to in a moment of intense rage.

Remember, Hawks's quirk is all about control. He's in amazing control of himself and his abilities, so a moment where that breaks and he's out of control would show his state of mind as abnormal well.

But I do think he needs let himself feel a full range of emotions and like however that rage/feralness happens, it might give way to him crying eventually. There is an emotional stuntedness to Keigo, as I mentioned yesterday. The reliance on human emotions as predictable is one of these things, and I think Hawks has been abused in such a way that he might have a very childish response to stress when he can show it instead of repress it. So would there be crying? Maybe.

What it won't be is the fake Hawks that he wears as an aspiration - the cheeky, loud, funny hero with a tragic story he's been pretending to be. Because Hawks has always been far more complicated than that initial impression and we do a disservice by focusing on that veneer.

Essentially, what needs to happen is Hawks coming to terms with everything he's done and everything done to him, and where he can stand on it. I also think a lot of his story is about accepting agency and choice.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Deemo -prelude- Chapter 4 English translation

i had my exams last month and was too damn tired to clean and translate this so i put off finishing this chapter to september lol (plus i usually only post on thursdays). sorry but in terms of my extra free labour priorities that i hate doing, deemo comes last because it involves photoshop (my hatred goes: photoshop > arranging notes into a score > translating > picking out notes from a song hahaha).

chapter notes and encoded link below since there are more this time.

notes:

as always, I translated this from Chinese so my tl not be 100% accurate if compared to the JP raws

please don’t reupload elsewhere (especially to social media), and don’t remove my credits page. additionally, this is not to be profited off of in any way and is intended to for one’s private enjoyment only.

i despise photoshop and cleaning... and i almost gave up on cleaning the panel that has the “I still really” text  (mind i still did a shitty job cuz i suck with photoshop and i did try to cover most of it but still!). not looking forward to cleaning the next chapter..  or maybe i’ll just  white everything out. haha...*sigh* iuno. i never have motivation to photoshop stuff.

went back to my older chapters and added in the text on the title pages... since i kinda overlooked them? still, i don’t care to clean those pages (waaaaaaay too much work involved in that. maybe if someone gave me thousand dollars would i consider...and only consider doing that xD [aka never happening unless i happen to win the lottery]).

on that note, i should probably mention that I purposefully skip translating the ストーリー text boxes since they’re just recaps... and it’s way too much effort to do anything with them cuz English is not a language that looks good when typed vertically and I do not like squishing text.

i should probably delaying uploading my chapters to mangadex by a week. im a tad lazy with the editing for this since i already hate translating anything that involves the usage of photoshop... and i keep noticing errors that ive now gone and fixed in my older chapter translations... though i am sorta annoyed how i’ve kept on spelling “La campanella” incorrectly. -.- well, i’ll fix things on that site eventually... whenever they get their edit function working again.

i went back and changed Hans’ dream to being a “world-famous” pianist (left world-renowned since that basically means the same thing) in chapter 3, since chp 4 gave me more context which made that make sense to me

ive noticed my scanlations on other aggregate sites aside from mangadex... and while that admittedly doesn’t actually bother me given the sites I use to read manga, if i ever see my uploads without their credits page, i’ll just make my translations for Deemo solely available through patreon (the removal of credits pages crosses a very hard line for me).

i’ve completely given up trying to find clean raws since the site i used for this manga went down. oh well lol. suppose that just means that i’ll do more of what i did for chp 3 and now 4 going forward since i had no luck in finding another site after an hour and i’m a firm believer in not doing anything more than necessary when doing things for free (i can afford to be lazy when doing shit for free lol).... also, im not willing to buy the raws either since i have no money for that hahaha... 

 below is not a link. its a bunch of chars that needs to be decoded via base64decode to reveal the link

------------------

aHR0cHM6Ly9tZWdhLm56L2ZvbGRlci92dVl5a0w3VCNpUlhVb0U4THVENmlZQkd4NUFiNF9R

[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Afterward

So, this is just a place for me to toss in some other Hellsing stuff I wanted to talk about outside the reading of Hellsing itself.

Okay so first off, I wanted to document this cool trivia I noticed about Rip van Winkle, the werewolf(?) with the musket that fires magic bullets.   Her weapon is based on the 19th Century German opera Der Freischütz. The opera is based on a  story published by Johann August Apel in 1811, and this writing was based on German folklore.    The legend involves a marksman who makes a contract with the devil and receives seven magic bullets.   Six will hit whatever the marksman wants, but the seventh is at the sole discretion of the devil himself.   In Hellsing, the Major speaks to Rip about her own musket and reminds her that the opera ends with Zamiel, the devil, coming to claim his due.  This is intended to foreshadow Alucard counterattack on the H.M.S. Eagle, where he plows through Rip’s defenses and kills her in gruesome fashion.

So I went back and counted all the times Rip van Winkle shoots her musket, just to see if there was any special significant to it.    The first was when the old Nazi officers complain to the Major, and Rip shoots the Colonel’s cane before he can strike the Major with it.     At least, I’m pretty sure that was the idea here.  The cane breaks and everyone looks around and Zorin points to the lady with the gun to indicate who just did that.   So that’s one bullet.

After assuming control of the H.M.S. Eagle, Rip van Winkle meets with the Eagle’s first officer, who betrayed the crew to Millennium in exchange for vampire powers.    She then betrays him and his fellow traitors, killing them all with a single shot from her musket.    This is where we first find out what her ability is.   So that’s two.

The British Navy tries to take back the ship by sending a helicopter full of SEALs, but Rip destroys the entire team with another shot from her musket.   So that’s three shots fired.

While Hellsing prepares their own response, the Navy tries again, this time sending a fighter plane to sink the Eagle with missiles, but Rip shoots down the missiles and the plane with one bullet.   Four.

This is where I started to wonder if there was a particular pattern to Rip’s use of the musket.  I’m pretty sure she just uses one bullet and can fire it as many times as she pleases, but she was literally singing songs from the opera and it seemed kind of superfluous to have her foil two separate attack by the Navy.  The first one showed us that conventional forces wouldn’t get the job done, so the second one only makes sense if Kouta Hirano was just trying to add to the count.

Then Alucard arrives aboard a modified SR-71 Blackbird.   At 85,000 ft in the air, he’s out of range, but then he nosedives onto the deck of the ship.    Rip fires again to destroy the Blackbird before it crashes into them.    Five.

Alucard survives the crash and wipes out all of Rip’s soldiers while she has a panic attack.   Cornered, she finally gathers her wits and attacks Alucard.  Her bullet hurts him, but he eventually catches it in his teeth, neutralizing her weapon and leaving her at his mercy.  That’s shot number six.

I was hoping this shot would be the seventh, since the seventh bullet in Der Freischütz belongs to the devil, and Alucard caught this one in his teeth, but no.   Then I remembered that the musket gets fired one last time...

... in London, when Alucard releases the familiars of all the victims he’s consumed over the centuries, including Rip Van Winkle.  She fires the musket once more, but this time it’s Alucard directing the shot into the helicopters of the Ninth Crusade.   Shot number seven is at the discretion of the devil himself, and “Dracula” is a diminutive of “Dracul”, a Romanian word for “devil”.   Neat stuff.

Okay, so now let’s talk about Seras, because that’s kind of my jam.   What’s the deal with this line?  “Her existence is somewhat of a marvel.  You could say it’s somewhat of a joke.  Perhaps she herself has not even noticed yet!!”

That’s the Major discussing Sir Integra and Seras in Volume 5.   He stresses that neither is to be underestimates, and I think he makes a good case for Integra, but with Seras he never actually comes to the point.   So what’s up with that? 

Of course, there’s the truth we saw in the final battle.  Once she finally drank blood of her own volition, Seras became a full-on vampire and one of the most powerful warriors on the field.   She destroyed the Captain quite handily, and he was the strongest guy Millennium had.   But this seems a tad obvious?   Why not just spell it out for Zorin.  “Hey, our intel says she’s weaker than expected because she won’t drink blood, but that could change at a moment’s notice, and she’s still strong enough to take down a lot of our soldiers, so proceed with caution.” 

I’m not saying the Major is wrong.   He told Zorin not to engage, and he made the right call.    I’m just wondering what the “joke” is exactly.  

I think it might be one of two things.   By the end of Hellsing, Seras demonstrates a similar level of ability to Alucard.  Sunlight appears to have no effect on her, she can summon familiars like Alucard, and regenerate her wounds with great alacrity.   I’m pretty sure she’d be about as hard to kill as Alucard himself, which Integra said was a product of Hellsing “enhancements”, rather than natural vampire power.   Except Seras was never “enhanced”, she seems to have just inherited these “super-vampire” powers from Alucard when he turned her.   The Major and Doctor may have anticipated this, and the “joke” was that Seras could completely upset the balance of their plans, except she’s too squeamish to drink the blood that would make this possible.  

Or, the joke might be that Alucard turned Seras at all.   He just sort of did this out of nowhere, and I’m pretty sure no one saw that coming.   Millennium and Walter had been keeping tabs on Hellsing for decades, and not much changed until Alucard decided to add Seras to the group.   The vampires in Millennium’s Last Battalion were all produced through the Doctor’s artificial vampire research, which was based upon intense study of Mina Harker, the last person Alucard turned into a vampire before he met Seras.   

So from that standpoint, Seras represents a superior version of Mina, who represents the ideal that the Doctor was trying to achieve.  At best, his finest artificial vampires could only be as strong as Mina Harker, and Seras got that way in one night by a twist of fate.  

I guess there’s no way to be sure what the Major meant.  I checked the OVA subs and dubs and they basically repeat the same line, so there’s nothing for me to triangulate there.  And maybe it only refers to Seras being a joke in the sense that she was mostly comic relief up to that point.   Even that badass moment she had against Jan Valentine’s ghouls probably didn’t impress anyone at the Millennium office.   

Finally, I checked out Hellsing: The Dawn, and it really wasn’t worth the trouble.   I couldn’t find any official English release, so I sort of gave up on it, but I finally ran across it last week and decided to check it out.   

Basically, it’s only six chapters, and very little actually gets done in those six chapters.   I’m not sure if Kouta Hirano is just running super late on the thing, of if he abandoned it completely, but my guess is he got this far in and decided there really wasn’t any point in continuing.   

Let me break it down for you.

Chapter 1: Walter is sent to the Major’s facility in Warsaw, to destroy the vampire research.   He jumps out of a plane with Alucard’s coffin.

Chapter 2: The Doctor reports on his progress to the Major, and they briefly discuss “She” aka Mina Harker.  From what I gather, Mina is still alive/undead in 1944.   Then Walter crashes into their facility and declares his intentions to kill them all.

Chapter 3: The Major is impressed with Walter’s power and offers him a place in his command.  Walter refuses and the Major leaves him to die at the hands of the Captain.

Chapter 4: Walter fights the Captain, and Alucard finally emerges from his coffin in Girlycard form.

Chapter 5: Walter and Alucard fight the Captain, who now stands revealed as a werewolf.   The Major somehow recognizes Alucard on sight and takes an interest in observing the battle.

Chapter 6: Alucard leaves to go hunt down the Captain’s superiors, leaving Walter to fight alone.  Alucard then encounters Rip van Winkle and defeats her with ease.    He seems like he’s about to kill her when some menacing figures approach from the shadows...

In other words, not a whole lot actually happens that we couldn’t have guessed from the original Hellsing manga.    At the rate he was going, it would have taken Hirano maybe 30 or 40 chapters to actually get to anything truly juicy, and I’m not sure the audience would have wanted to wait around for that.    The main problem is that we already know how this ends.   None of the good guys or bad guys die, because they all show up in Hellsing 55 years later.  The Major will lose badly enough that he has to evacuate the whole operation to Brazil, and that interests me because somehow he has to lose this battle, but not so badly that he can’t escape.  

What disappoints me is that there’s really only three things of interest about this part of the Hellsing mythos: Walter’s decision to betray England, Alucard’s relationship with Walter, and the Major’s relocation from Euope to South America.    The Dawn appears to gloss over all of these.   The Major asks Walter to switch sides in their very first encounter.   Walter refuses, but we know he’ll say yes later, so there doesn’t feel like there’s any conflict to this.  So far, Walter comes off like a little shithead, so if he changes his mind at the end of this story it’ll seem completely capricious.   I’d like to think the Major could say something persuasive to convince him, or Alucard could piss Walter off enough to push him into the Major’s arms, but none of that seems to be happening.  

The Girlycard form is taken completely for granted.   Al shows up and Walter immediately takes offense.  He knows Alucard doesn’t normally look like this and he sees no reason for this new look.   Al just says the same thing he says about it in 1999, that form and appearance mean nothing to him.   Well if it doesn’t mean anything to Alucard or Walter, what’s the point?

The way I always imagined it, the Girlycard form had a lot of emotional baggage for Walter.   I figured he met Alucard in this form, and they spent some time together hunting down the Major.    Walter fell in love with Girlycard, even though he should have known better, and when Alucard finally abandoned the form, he knew that there was no way his feelings would ever be returned.   And this would build resentment within Walter, making him more interested in joining the Major.  

Instead, none of that seems to be happening.    This is just one big long fight in one building.   Hirano already threw his biggest gun at Walter, so there’s no buildup to the Captain.   Alucard won’t fight the Captain, but it’s unclear what else he’s supposed to do instead.  There might be a good story in all of this, but these first six chapters don’t encourage me.    Also, they keep jumping over to check in on Arthur Hellsing in London.   I don’t think this guy is Integra’s father, but maybe her grandfather had the same first name?    He looks cool, but he has nothing to do.   He’s like thousands of miles removed from the action, so anything he says or does just comes back to him talking about how tough and cool Walter is.   So yeah, I think The Dawn is a huge waste of time, and maybe Kouta Hirano reached the same conclusion.  

And... yeah, that’s all I’ve got.   In May, I’ll be liveblogging another comic.   Will it be as successful?   Only time will tell...

[ohkiyo]

characters: shiratorizawa team, reader, sakusa kiyoomi, and komori motoya. (quick appearance)

warnings: none, just some good ‘ol fluff.

word count: 5.1k

a/n: this is like a peace offering for not posting any content for the last two or three weeks (?), I also did not intend for this to reach over 5k+ words lol, so hopefully you won’t get bored reading this one. I also gave up editing this somewhere in the middle, so yeah that’s that hahaha. XD

anyways have fun and enjoy! :D

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    shiratorizawa navigation || stth navigation

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“We’re going on a trip in our favorite rocket ship, zooming through the sky! Little Einsteins~” both you and Goshiki bounce on your seat at the back of the bus, singing the theme song of the cartoon you two watch for fun a few days ago. “Climb aboard, get ready to explore there’s so much to find little Einsteins~”

“Aren’t they excited?” a fond smile made its way into Semi’s face as he watches the two first years belting their hearts out to a song made for children. Tendou and Yamagata joining the two, causing the overall noise inside the bus to increased in volume. Their English pronunciation was horrible, but it didn’t stop them from sharing their – talent.

Kawanishi, who was two seats away from the four was also humming along, snacking on a chocolate bar, his phone on his hand capturing it all on camera, probably for future blackmail material. While Shirabu who was seated beside him, continues to sleep, unbothered by the ruckus happening inside the bus.

“This is their first time going to Tokyo after all” Reon answered, before he tilted his head to the side when they switch to a different song, this time, it was Tendou’s famous baki baki ni ore. “Since when did Satori taught them that?”

“Probably since the moment they joined”

They were currently on their way to Tokyo for a practice match with another college volleyball team, the colleges that they use to play against in Miyagi were coincidentally busy with academics, something about an upcoming exam that they need to prepare for so they had to cancel.

Fortunately, with Shiratorizawa being a powerhouse school, Coach Saito and Washijou-sensei had connections to institutions outside of Miyagi. So they called up a friend who’s currently handling a college volleyball team and requested for a practice match.

The singing lasted for another thirty minutes before they eventually fell asleep, the bus now quiet. Washijou-sensei who was seated up front, let out a sigh of relief, thankful for the silence, something that Semi and Reon didn’t fail to notice. The two chuckled, as strict as he may be, Washijou-sensei knows when to let his players have their fun, he isn’t exactly a killjoy like some had thought. He’s actually very nice, once you get to know him of course.

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“You’re allowed to go sightseeing but please always bring a buddy with you, to prevent anyone from getting lost” his eyes landed on the older members, silently asking them to keep a close eye on their two first years. “Washijou-sensei and I will be meeting up with Coach Sasaki, so be back before 11”

Everyone nods their heads at his words before the two finally entered the elevator once it reaches your floor. The hotel you were staying at was a bit high class, you don’t know how the club’s fund covered it, but you weren’t complaining.

Each one of you had your own separate room, each guest had three food slips with, one was a free access to an eat-all-you-can food at the dining area’s buffet, while the other two were for a free breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

“So...” Tendou turned around, a grin plastered on his face as he held up the food slip the receptionist gave earlier. “Let’s go fill up our belly and enjoy Tokyo’s nightlife”

With that all nine of you piled into the elevator and press the button for the ground floor, the space a little too tight for your liking. The elevator stops at another floor, two new people entered, resulting in them moving backward to create a space for the newcomers, leaving you to press yourself to the wall.

“Sorry (Y/n)” Ushijima whispered, after accidentally stepping on your foot, he looks over his shoulder as you gave him a thumbs up. Your face now buried on his shirt, his perfume entering your nostrils.

He sure does smell nice, no wonder the girls are after him.

Luckily, for you, your struggle did not last long because finally, the elevator reaches the bottom floor. You swore you almost past out because of how cramp that space was, you feel like you were starting to develop claustrophobia because of it. For a fancy hotel, they sure have very small elevators.

Your group weaves through the other guest inside the hotel, some of them going back to their rooms; some were going the same way as you all were, while the others were going out to enjoy whatever Tokyo has to offer.

“Tokyo hotels are on another level” you whispered, following after them as they went over to where the eating utensils were placed. You carefully scanned the foods displayed, cuisines coming from different countries were all too delicious-looking, you feel like you want to have a plate of each.

“You’re drooling (Y/n)” you heard Shirabu say as he walks past you, the person that was standing behind the counter chuckled as you rub the spit that unknowingly trickled down your chin.

“Sorry”

“It’s fine” she laughs again before she suggested the lamb meat for you to taste. You haven’t tried lamb before so you accepted her offer, watching as she threw in a bunch of slices into the grill. “Well done or medium?”

“Well done please” she started tossing the meat around the steel griddle, the wonderful smell reaching your nose. It smelled so delicious, as the meat slowly turns to that familiar charred look of a well-cooked meat. Once she was done, she places it on your plate as she suggested for you to drizzle it with some of the sauce near the grills.

You moved from one area to another, filling your plate with foods before finally taking a seat on the table they occupied.

“Now we know who are the best people to bring to buffets” Yamagata mused, eyeing yours and Goshiki’s plate filled with different kinds of food, not only that, there were at least one or two more plates on the side also filled with foods.

“They’re big eaters”

Kawanishi took a piece of meat from your plate, exchanging it with a fried dumpling that he accidentally dipped in a spicy sauce. He can handle his spice, however, this particular dip was so spicy his mouth was burning from it.

“Kawanishi-san why…?” you took the glass of cold water Ushijima offered you as you drank it all. It didn’t help though, your mouth was still burning, so Semi fed you a spoonful of chocolate ice cream, the dessert finally easing the flames in your mouth.

“Sorry (Y/n)” Kawanishi bit his lip to stop the smile threatening to come out, secretly sharing a low five with Tendou from under the table. However, that didn’t go unnoticed from Semi’s watchful eyes, stepping on the red head’s foot, Semi shoots him a pointed look as Tendou tries to remove his leg.

“Ow, ow, Semi-Semi that hurts”

The setter didn’t listen to him and continued eating his meal, they all ate in silence after that. Too hungry to strike a conversation with each other, their attention focus on the food in front of them.

Dinner went by fast, once they had finished their food they went out of the hotel and walk through Tokyo. The streets are a little too crowded than the ones they’re used to in Sendai, passing by different kinds of coffee shops, restaurants, inns, and hotels. The choices were endless, it all depends on where you all plan to go.

“Let’s go there first, I want to buy some manga” Tendou pointed at a rather large book shop just across the street, customers walking in and out of the store, wrapped packages in hand.

The inside was filled with rows and rows of shelves full of books, such as novels, textbooks, and of course, manga, on the sides were a section for school supplies and other similar materials. Tendou looks like he’s in heaven because the store offers manga that wasn’t available in Sendai. The moment his foot steps inside the store, he immediately disappeared behind the shelves where the manga was displayed.

“Wasn’t this the book Yato-sensei told us to buy?” Shirabu opened the textbook, skimming through its contents.

“Its ¥2,000” Kawanishi taps the price tag of the same book he’s holding. Shirabu pinches his lips together, closing the book and putting it back to where it belonged.

“Nope, I’ll just borrow from the library”

They move to the end of the aisle to see you holding a basket filled with different kinds of stationeries, Reon and Ushijima also going through the pens and notebooks they had on display before dropping it inside the basket you were holding.

“That’s a lot of pens (Y/n)” Goshiki drops a couple packs of sticky notes in your basket before grabbing a pen and examining it. The little penguin at the top sparking his curiosity as he clicks it, the ball-point emerging from the bottom part of the object.

“My pen’s keeps on disappearing, along with my highlighters and I don’t know who’s taking them” Goshiki stayed quiet at your reply, blinking at you, once, then twice before he slowly returned it in the basket. Reon let out a quiet laugh, fully aware that it was Goshiki who keeps taking your school supplies and not returning them.

Goshiki grabs three more pens and two more highlighters, the exact number of stationeries he took then dropping it in the basket. “I’ll buy these for you (Y/n)-chan”

You smiled at him in gratitude, standing in line at the cashier. “Thank you ‘Tomu-kun”

After paying for the items, you were once again back to the cold street. Aimlessly walking towards your next destination.

“Let’s go to a karaoke bar” Yamagata suggested, zipping up his jacket as the cold had become a little too much for him. Letting out a shiver from the cold air.

“Sure” they located the nearest karaoke bar, entering the establishment. They paid for the amount required for a one-hour session, before entering an empty room. Semi, Tendou, and Yamagata going for the songbook and choosing what song they’re going to sing, while you, Goshiki, and Ushijima went through the menu instead.

“So who’s first?” Tendou’s hand shot up as Yamagata gave him the mic, pressing his song’s code as the title flash on the screen.

“You’re singing Lion King?” Semi laughs watching as Tendou dance around to the song’s opening beat.

“The song has been stuck in my head for a long time now” the redhead cleared his throat before he started singing the first verse.

“There’s a Japanese version of that song?” Kawanishi whispered in surprise, Tendou’s jolly voice and merry demeanor fitting so well with I Just Can’t Wait To Be King’s upbeat tune. It was as if the song was made for him.

10:15pm.

There were only 15 minutes left before the one hour expires, Shirabu was singing some sort of heartbreak song, while sitting on top of Kawanishi who was laying sideways munching on some chips. Totally unbothered by the weight on top of him.

The setter ends his song, a cue for everyone to start packing their stuff and go back to the hotel before Coach Saito and Washijou-sensei catches them still walking around after curfew.

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It’s been three hours since you went to bed and unfortunately not once were you able to get a wink of sleep, nightmares were plaguing your mind. Two people, you’ve never met before constantly visits you in your dreams. It was a man and a woman, you couldn’t see their face but their voices you could hear.

They sometimes try to talk to you, asking how you were doing, if you were alright, or simply saying words of encouragement whenever you were feeling down. Sometimes they were accompanied by another girl, a teenager, who looks like the 15-year-old version of your aunt.

Once again, you turned on your side, pulling your blanket a little closer, screwing your eyes shut. However, it wouldn’t work, so you sat up, and check your phone.

1:30 am.

You chewed on your bottom lip, contemplating whether or not you should bother one of your teammates. They had a game tomorrow and you don’t want to disturb their sleep, but you were getting restless, and you’re afraid that you might not be able to fall asleep at all.

Finally making up your mind, you got up from your bed, grabbing your phone, key card, before exiting your room. Walking down the hallway towards Goshiki’s room, you have a feeling he’s still awake since he likes to play games until the wee hours of the night.

Standing on his door, you knock twice, pulling at the bottom of your shirt as you look left and right. The empty hallway looking a little too creepy for your liking, you knock again and this time it finally opened, a half-asleep Goshiki greeting you.

“(Y/n)?” he rub his eyes as he opened the door wider, letting you inside. “Did you have nightmares again?”

You nodded your head. “Can I sleep with you?”

“Sure” you followed him to his bed as he took the other side and you on the other. Both of you laying under the covers facing each other. “Better now?”

“Yes, thank you” he gave you one last sleepy smile before closing his eyes. So far, Goshiki was the only one who knows of your nightmares, after he discovered you one time during your first training camp crying under a table.

He was the one who comforted you and offered to let you sleep with him, it somehow became a routine and whenever you would knock on his door, he immediately knows what’s wrong.

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The door to Goshiki’s room burst open as a group of panicked Shiratorizawa upperclassmen barge into the room. Goshiki having heard of his door nearly tearing off its hinges, sat upon his bed. “Senpai?”

Semi marches over to him, grabbing his shoulders and basically shaking him awake. “(Y/n)’s gone, she’s not in her room. We can’t find her anywhere”

“What?”

“Oh man, oh man. If the coach finds out we’re screwed” Yamagata and Tendou grips their hair in frustration, as Reon and Ushijima discuss the possibilities of your disappearance. Kawanishi and Shirabu though were the only ones calm in this situation. 

“Huh?” Goshiki’s brain still wasn’t working though as he still sat there in a daze, unaware of the growing problem his upperclassmen were having.

Kawanishi ruffles his hair as he looks around the room, shifting from one foot to another, before his eyes landed on a lump he failed to notice before that was beside the first year. He taps Shirabu on the shoulder then pointing at the said lump, who was starting to move, leaning dangerously close to the edge of the bed before falling off and landing on the floor with a thud. Bringing the blanket along with them.

“What?” they watch as you continued to snore away on the floor, the fall clearly didn’t affect you in the slightest.

Shirabu shots Goshiki a look of suspicion as the rest shakes you awake. “Why is (Y/n) sleeping with you?”

He didn’t really get any answer because Goshiki just looks at him, still half-asleep.

A scandalized gasp left Tendou’s lips as he points a shaky finger towards the spiker. “Did you and (Y/n) do something? You’re only first years, wait until you’re in college!”

“Satori, what are you talking about?”

“Tendou, I think you took this the wrong way” Ushijima’s hand landed on Tendou’s shoulder, as the redhead whips his head to the captain.

“But Wakatoshi-kun you can’t be too sure!”

“(Y/n) probably got scared and went to Tsutomu for help” Reon started pushing them all out of the room. Semi carrying you, still wrap in Goshiki’s blanket, leaving the first year still sitting on his bed. Once his door clicks shut, he fell back on his bed and went back to sleep.

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“Let’s have a good game!”

You carefully arrange the water bottles and towels on the bench as your team and the college team had their match. Diligently doing your duties as a manager.

“Hello” you look up to see your opponents’ manager standing there, giving you an easy smile, stretching out her hand for you to take. “My name is Mikana Ritsu, nice you meet you”

“(L/n) (Y/n), nice to meet you too Mikana-san” you answered, grasping her hand and giving it a firm shake.

She took a seat on the spare bench, with you taking the place beside her. “I didn’t know they had a manager, are you new?”

“Yes, I’m a first year. I started just a few months ago”

She let out a hum in response as the both of you observe the game in silence, leaving your spot once in a while to assist your respective players before sitting back down again and watching the game. From beside you, Mikana lets out a long yawn as she covers her mouth with the clipboard she’s holding.

“Are you tired Mikana-san?”

She nodded, another yawn leaving her lips. “I had to stay up very late last night for my research paper” she chuckled. “Sleep is very hard to come by when you’re in college”

You turn to look at the older girl, a question forming in your mind due to your curious nature. “Mikana-san, how is college like?”

She taps her chin for a moment, looking up at the ceiling to figure out the best answer for your question. “It’s an emotional roller coaster you know? One moment you’re smiling, then the next you’re crying your eyes out”

She turns her body to look at you. “I remember during my first year that my history teacher vowed to fail all of us because the school has enough students already”

You look at her incredulously, surprised at what she said.

“She made her exams and quizzes very difficult, and her projects were also very ridiculous” she huffs in annoyance, bad memories resurfacing. “We didn’t understand at first why she was doing it, but eventually we found out that she was having problems with her dissertation and she’s taking out all her frustrations on us”

You stared at her wide-eyed, your mouth open agape. The fuck? “We all passed though, so suck for her”

“That was just mean”

“I know right?” she lets out a sigh, before standing up from her seat and re-wrapping their setter’s fingers with tape. Tying it to his preferred tightness before she went back to her spot and him going back into court. “Then we have our thesis”

“Oh yeah, I sometimes see students having breakdowns because of it. Is it really that bad?”

“The process of doing it is very hard, because not only do you have to choose your own topic, you have to choose a very specific one and one that has a lot of references available” you nodded your head, listening to her every word. “Getting rejected is fairly common, so you have to go through the process again and then present it to your panelist”

“When you do your defense, is it scary?”

She laugh at your choices of words, but she can’t really deny it though, because she did felt scared whenever they had a defense. “It’s nerve-wracking honestly, you have to prepare an answer for every possible question or else they’ll reject your paper”

“And you have to repeat all over again” she nods. “That’s so tiring”

“It is, but we have to comply or else we’ll never graduate”

“True”

You both talk throughout the game, until the final whistle was blown and the match finally ended, your team winning the match.

“Shiratorizawa High is still as strong as ever I see” she mused, watching as both teams gave each other a bow. “Congratulations (L/n)-chan”

“Thank you Mikana-san”

You both went on your separate ways, tending to your own players. Giving them their towels, and water bottles along with their snacks. After your final goodbye, you all entered the bus, driving back towards your hotel. It was still early, 3:00 pm in Tokyo is still very lively compared to in Sendai. Most people prefer to stay indoors due to the intense heat, however, a bustling city will always be busy no matter what time of the day.

“We’ll be leaving early tomorrow, so if any of you have anything buy. Souvenirs and other things, you can do so right now. But as always, bring a buddy with you and be back by 11” Coach Saito reminded one last time, before he and Washijou-sensei went inside the hotel, probably to rest and get some sleep before they go out again.

“I actually have some things to buy at the mall” Semi started adjusting his bag on his shoulder.

“Me too” Yamagata said, rummaging through his bag to find his phone, he almost started panicking when he didn’t saw it, but immediately let out a relieved sigh when he saw the device hiding under his sweaty shirt.

“We saw some souvenir shops a few blocks away from here, we’ll be over there”

Once everything was settled and everyone had decided where they want to go. You all separated, Semi, Reon, Ushijima, Yamagata, and Shirabu going to the mall to buy the things they needed while you, Tendou, Kawanishi, and Goshiki decided to walk around instead.

Going through the various shops that were selling different types of souvenirs from shirts to mugs, to keychains and other kinds of stuff.

“(Y/n)-chan, do you have my phone with you?” Goshiki patted his pockets as he looks for the said device.

“It’s in my bag” to patted the backpack you were carrying, adjusting it on your shoulder before letting out a groan at how heavy it is. “Kawanishi-san can we exchange bags? This one’s very heavy”

He nodded his head, pulling the strap over his head as you exchange bags, you let out a sigh of relief, thankful that the strain on your shoulders are now gone. The smell of freshly cook taiyakis catching your attention as the four of you speedwalk towards the stall making it, the food still hot and fresh.

“Ah, hot, hot, hot” Tendou rapidly let out a breath of air to cool down the burning of his tongue and the roof of his mouth. Not expecting for it to be too hot.

You gently blew on your taiyaki, waiting for it to cool down, before you started taking small bites. As your group resume walking along the streets, you spotted a shop filled with trinkets, calling for their attention you all entered the store.

They had a wide range of displays, and although some were a bit expensive, it wasn’t stopping you from buying what you want. The allowance your Aunt gives you every week could literally last you a month, and so any extra money you had, you deposit it in your bank account and wait for the time when you have to use it.

Walking over to Kawanishi, you took your wallet from your bag before you walk off to where they had plushies on display, that dolphin plushy the only thing on your mind right now. Taking the dolphin from its spot on the shelf, you examined it, before looking at a similar one but this time it was a bit bigger. Not too much, so you were contemplating which one to buy.

“The big one looks very comfy though” Goshiki appears beside you, holding a scarf, a cap, and a sweater. “You can snuggle it to sleep”

“Yeah, but don’t you think it’s a little too big?”

He observes the two carefully taking in their size, but still, he preferred the bigger one, so you followed his suggestion.

“Oh! Why not take this one too?” he grabs a tomato plushie of the same size. “Tomato-chan~”

You flick him on the forehead. “I can’t believe you’re sticking with that nickname”

“It’s funny though” he grinned at you.

“Tsutomu, (Y/n) let’s go” the both of you didn’t hear Tendou called you out, as the two of you stayed there. Goshiki insisting that he buys the tomato plushie for you, while you immediately denying his offer because it was already too much. It cost about a thousand yen, and he still has the items he’s holding. Not only that, you still remembered how he bought you those pens and highlighters last night.

The bell hanging at the top of the door rang as the two middle blockers left the shop, unknowingly leaving the two of you behind.

They cross the street, turning a few more corners. Before they were back to the same book store everyone went to last night. Tendou wanting to buy a few more mangas, then Kawanishi forgot he needs to buy a new calculator because he broke his old one. He could just buy one in Sendai, but why wait when he could just do it now?

“(Y/n) can you get my wallet? It’s in the-“ Kawanishi turns around, but no signs of the two first years. He looks from left to right, thinking that maybe they’re just around the corner, but alas, there were no Goshiki, and (Y/n).

“Uh… Tendou-san” Kawanishi tugs on the red head’s jacket as Tendou turns around.

“Hmm, what is it Taichi?”

“(Y/n) and Tsutomu are gone”

Tendou’s eyebrows furrowed as he looks behind the second year, thinking that maybe he was just pulling a prank on him, but still, like before, no first years in sight.

“Oh dear”

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“I can’t believe you actually bought the tomato plushie” you stared at the red-colored plush inside the bag you were holding. Both of you exiting the shop.

“Told you I’d buy it” he looks proud though, you don’t know why, but you’re very grateful for the gift. You note to yourself to get him something in return in the future. “Are Tendou-san and Kawanishi-san still inside?”

“Maybe” he went back inside the shop, as you waited outside the door. When he went back out, he looks worried, which also made you worried.

“Something wrong?”

“They’re not inside”

Your eyes widened. “What?”

He rub his arms, as he went back inside again to check. But still, they weren’t there anymore, walking back out, he shook his head.

“Did they just left us?”

“Probably”

“Should we go find them?” you started fidgeting on your spot, before you remembered, you had Kawanishi’s bag with you. Opening his bag you located his phone only to be left disappointed when you find out it’s dead. “Great, now we can’t contact them”

“Should we go back to the hotel instead?”

“I don’t even know which way our hotel is”

Both of you shared a heavy exhale, retracing your steps to where you both felt your hotel was located. However, you both accidentally took a wrong turn and were now in a different part of the city.

“I knew leaving that place was a bad idea”

“Oh. Aren’t you two from Shiratorizawa?” you saw two persons walking over your direction, wearing a light green and yellow track jacket and track pants.

“Yes” you answered, the one who was currently talking looks nice, you don’t know about his companion though. Even with half of his face covered with a mask, you could still feel the intensity of his stare.

“Ah. I’m Komori Motoya, and this is Sakusa Kiyoomi” he pointed to his friend. “We’re from Itachiyama, we went against your school before”

Itachiyama, the school is familiar, but these two? Not very much. However, they seem nice.

“Are the others with you?” Komori looks around the vicinity. “I don’t see them”

“Uh…”

“You got lost didn’t you?” it was Sakusa who asks this time and Komori let out a laugh.

“We can’t contact them because this phone is dead-” you showed them Kawanishi’s phone. “-and it’s also the only one we have right now”

Komori turns to look at Sakusa. “You have Ushijima’s number right? Why don’t you give him a call, they might be worried right now”

Wordlessly, Sakusa fished his phone from his pocket and dialed your captain’s number, pressing the loudspeaker button. It rang a few times before Ushijima finally picks up.

“Hello?”

“We found your stray” Sakusa answered before putting the phone in front.

“Ushijima-san!”

”(Y/n)? Goshiki? Where are you two?”

You both look at the two, but Komori answered for you. “We’re in front of the Kamakura coffee shop, where are you?”

“In front of the Marimo bookstore [1]”

“Alright stay there, we’ll be there in ten minutes”

“Alright”

The call ended and the four of you made your way towards the bookstore, Komori was the only talkative one between the two, instantly befriending the both of you. Although Sakusa would sometimes participate in the conversation, majority of it, he prefers to listen.

“So, what are you doing here in Tokyo?” Komori questioned.

“We had a practice match with a college team today” Goshiki answered, holding your hand to avoid getting separated from the group, his initial fear from when he discovered you two got left behind still present.

“Are teams in Miyagi too weak to handle Shiratorizawa?” Sakusa’s eyes momentarily shift in your direction before focusing forward.

“I guess so” you shrug your shoulders, you were told no high schools in Miyagi wants to have a joint practice with your school anymore, and you don’t really know the reason behind it. So you can’t really say they’re all weak.

Thankfully ten minutes later, you arrive at Marimo Bookstore to see your seniors waiting in front of the building in worry.

“(Y/n), Tsutomu. There you are!” Tendou was about to give you two a big hug, but Semi beat him to it by bonking the two of you on the head.

“You idiots! What did I say about wandering around?!”

“We weren’t wandering around! We were just inside the shop when Tendou-san and Kawanishi-san left us!” you replied with a pout, rubbing your head as Semi shot the two a glare as they both look away. Kawanishi casually whistling a tune whilst Tendou rocks himself back and forth on the soles of his feet.

“Well, we’ve delivered the package. We have to go now, see you guys next time” Komori wave your group goodbye as Reon and Semi said their thanks.

Sakusa gave Ushijima a nod before turning around. “See you at nationals Wakatoshi”

“Of course”

They both left, their tall figures disappearing into the crowd, as your group went back to your hotel. Upon arriving at your lodging, you stumbled along with Coach Saito and Washijou-sensei near the entrance, the two older men inquiring of your shopping spree. Everyone answered the question as honestly as they could, leaving out the details of yours and Goshiki’s little accident.

Satisfied, they both left while your group went back to your own room to enjoy the rest of your stay, and to avoid any more mishaps.

«──────────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ────────────»

[1] anyone here who also watches sekai-ichi hatsukoi?

a/n: the idea from the college convo between Mikana and reader was inspired from a conversation I had with a mutual hehehe, though not word per word but just the overall gist of it. Dear, if you’re reading this you know who you are. ;)

also, my team stories aren’t suppose to contain any romance, yet here I am lowkey shipping Goshiki and reader.

[maddox026]

"Good day. My name is Michael and I'll be your attendant today. Here is our menu and I'll be back after five minutes to get your order ma'am. We'll be serving your water in a while."

"Got it. Thank you Michael."

"You're welcome ma'am and thank you too."

Your eyes started scanning the menu card handed over to you by the waiter. This is the new Italian restaurant the two women at the washroom were talking about a while ago. Not really intending to eavesdrop, you overheard their conversation when you dropped by for a bladder break before the movie started. Both seemed to be on their early 30's reminding you of your own set of girl friends. The taller one of the two was telling the other one about her experience on the restaurant in that building which just opened two weeks ago.

"Imagine how shocked I was after seeing them there. I haven't had my usual coffee dose yet but my heart was palpitating already. Good thing I was done eating by the time they arrived or else I wouldn't have probably finished my meal. Awkward." 

"How was it? Did you guys had a little chitchat or did you just nod at each other? Did his partner smiled at you???" The shorter woman asked curiously while lathering her hands with the cucumber scented soap.

"I think he saw my eyes widen but I manage to do a quick smile both to him and to his, girlfriend or wife maybe before I went out. Sis, don't get me wrong. I've moved on and all but I think there will always be that slight feeling of awkwardness whenever you ran to your long time ex-boyfriend." As if wanting to put extra emphasis on her last statement, the woman responded while rolling her eyeballs.

“Ex-fiancee, sis. Hahaha! How was the food? I hope it was worth the run-in encounter with your past flame somehow.”

“Well in fairness the food was great. I read a review about it on Metro Story’s Foodtrip column and my expectations were met. You should visit it with Andrew one of these days.”

“I see. I’ll tell him about it. Sis, I just realized. Your ex-pectations were met indeed.Hahaha!”

“Sira.Let’s go.” The two women eventually left the washroom. You checked your seat number in the movie stub for the last time and headed out as well.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Exactly after five minutes, the waiter got back to your table to take your order. As he walks away you close your eyes and tried to absorb the classical music being played on the background. You tried to remember the grocery list you mentally did last night. Funny how just a while ago, you were watching the full movie version of a 90′s cartoon series you loved as a kid. Now here you are, back being an adult thinking about the household items you need to buy and whether you’ll be doing your laundry tonight or delay it tomorrow.

“So what are the chances?”

Startled at the voice which was coming from your back, you turned around and saw an old face with a goofy smile. What is it with this place making people cross paths with their past? Is this included in their specialty or something? Muling Ibalik with a side of Multo ng Nakaraan pasta?

“Oi.Hi!” Although still a little off guard, you were able to somehow respond with a small smile.

“I knew it was you the moment I saw your hair and your back. Kumusta?“

You wanted to say you were doing just okay right before he came in but you knew it would be best not to. Knowing him, that would make his goofy smile wider. “I’m good. Ikaw? What’s up?”

His lips moved as he answers your question but you can’t catch on to what he’s saying. You told yourself you’re going to bring up to your close friend who majored in Social Science how and who started the social norm to automatically ask the other person how they are doing as well after being asked “Kumusta?”

“...also, I’m not sure but did you watch Dragon Gang before coming here? I think you were seated a few rows in front of me.”

“Really? Yeah I was at Cinema 3 a while ago.” Okay. Maybe you should have just lied to cut this conversation already.

“Small world.Hahaha!”

Small world. Two words usually said to show surprise when an unexpected encounter or connection between people happens. Yet, the very same people who tells you this can also make the world seem vast, big and empty when their presence is no longer felt.

“Hi sir and ma’am. Sorry for the interruption but I would just like to check if you will be sharing this table together? If not, I’ll be happy to assist you to a vacant table sir.” Michael politely asked, perhaps noticing how the newly arrived guest was not yet seated somewhere.

“Oh wait. I’ll ask her first if we can share this spot. Maya, okay lang?”

If you say no, will the people nearby including the kind waiter judge you? Will they give you the wrong impression if you decline?

“Yeah sure. No big deal.” You swallowed the lump in your throat which started forming the moment you saw this guy who’s clad in denim jacket. Making a mental note, you remind yourself to control your voice and expression now that your conversation is obviously nowhere its ending yet.

“So did you liked the movie?” He asked while showing you the yellow movie stub he have as well.

Three years ago and you would have immediately given a lengthy reply to his question.  You would have talked about all the highs and lows of the film perhaps even enough to impress Mrs. Tagle, your favorite English teacher back in college.

College, where you two first met as classmates in one of your minor subjects. You went out together one time but things didn’t took a romantic turn after that as there were other incidents that occurred. 

Three years after your graduation, your paths met again unexpectedly while you were looking for this popular bookshop. The two of you went out for two or three dates but just liked before, things fizzled out afterwards. Back then the term, “ghosting” wasn’t as known as it is now but it’s kind of how it ended. Or how he, ended. It’s okay though as you both moved on afterwards.

The years after that, you stayed connected through social media although mostly just sending each other simple birthday greetings whenever one is celebrating.

Three years ago though, your simple greeting turned into more casual chats and there were times when you would talk about deep issues about life. Bucket lists, goals and aspirations, lessons on past relationships etc., these were some of the topics you used to talk about. Random conversations you started looking forward to especially during weekends and eventually became the source of your heart ache when they no longer started happening. A phase worthy enough to earn you a live performance of this new hip band who’s debut song is entitled, “You foolish girl.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yeah. I liked the movie. It was not disappointing.”

“Haha! I have to agree. It wasn’t disappointing indeed. Although there were just some scenes which I think were confusing for some fans who haven’t read the entire manga series.”

You stared at him just politely smiling, not really in the mood to be your usual chatty self. Slowly, people at the restaurant started coming in and you wished Michael would be back already with both of your food.

“They did not show in the movie what happened to Brutly’s parents and also how all of a sudden Gozu became well after that serious illness he had. Those were just my two cents though.Hahaha! They did however still managed to bring justice to Teriyene’s masterpiece.”

“Batang 90′s. Hehehe...” That was all the response you were able to think of at that moment. You weren’t really nervous being there with him and all but there’s a cloud of hesitation in your head and you wonder if he can feel it.

“Yeah...By the way, I’m sorry if you felt obliged to accept my table request in front of the waiter earlier. I guess I was just really happy seeing an old acquaintance after a long time.”

“What? It’s okay. Long time indeed.”

That’s it? That’s all this guy is saying sorry for, you asked yourself. What about those times in the past when -

“Here’s your food sir and ma’am.” Michael proceeded to enumerate the order he took a while ago and asked if there is anything else he can assist you with. You both shake your head as you said no and he left you two alone again afterwards.

“By the way, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but I think most of the moviegoers were around their 30′s to 40′s.” 

“Really? I didn’t notice it. Based from the occasional cheer the audience were giving though, I think it’s safe to assume there were a lot of dads or titos who were watching.” Maybe you can make the conversation going but just avoid eye contact as much as possible?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You know your eyes are very pretty. The color suits your complexion and your hair as well.” 

The 1st semester is about to end and he sent a text message after your class inviting you for a movie and dinner to unwind. Funny because for some reason your ex boyfriend and another male friend sent an invitation to hang out too that same day.

Maybe because you’ve been sharing a room together for more than three years already, your roommate Kris was able to read your bubble thoughts. 

“Maya? Go. Accept it.”

“Huh?”

“Go out with him. Not your ex and si other kuya. Your crushmate, I mean your “classmate”. I’ll wait for your post-date kwento.”

“But...I’m not really sure if...”

 “Why are you hesitating? Come on. Don’t you like him??”

“Hey! I admit he’s cute but - . Wait, why weren’t you this eager when I told you about the other two invites?”

“You know why? Because your facial reaction yesterday when you were telling me about it was your normal facial expression. But today, when you were reading his text message, your cheeks turned pink like this shirt I’m wearing.”

She’s right. You felt a thump in your heart after reading the text message. You’re hesitating though as you can’t get rid of the player vibes you’re sensing. The way he walks, the way he talks, his overall confident attitude gives off a feeling that he’s used to talking to or wooing girls that comes near him.

“They’re light brown, right?” Perhaps it’s because you were facing each 

[kingofthewilderwest]

Some Incomplete Ramblings on “Liza / Riza Hawkeye”

One thing I’ve always found fascinating about FMA character / location names is that it’s like a game of telephone from European languages --> Japanese --> (in my case) English. As is such, with telephone, information has the potential to get distorted.

I own lots of FMA guidebooks in English and Japanese, and frequently entertain myself with the name variations. Liore / Leole / Reole / etc. is one of the most entertaining spelling conundrums, official sources constantly varying the name, and never honing in on a consensus over the many years’ passings. But while I could yab on about Martel and Ling and Dolcetto and Kimblee and many other names, I’m here to smile about Riza Hawkeye.

Official sources in English and Japanese almost exclusively spell her name as “Riza Hawkeye.” Over and over, it’s Riza Hawkeye. Compared to many characters, her name’s very consistent. But in some of the earliest materials from the franchise, she’s sometimes labeled as “Liza Hawkeye.” For instance, there’s an early Bandai figure with that name - a figure that would have been developed (and its label created) through Japan.

The English version of the Fullmetal Alchemist Trading Card game sometimes calls her Liza, too. Because I’m a linguist who (as my career probably implies) loves Little Language Things... I had to nab a few FMA trading cards with that variant name! I don’t collect cards, but these were irresistible! These cards came in my mail yesterday!!! Tadaaaa!

It’s hard to see in the photograph, but these cards are copyright 2005. I’ve tried to find more information on when in 2005 they were printed (no success yet), but the date 2005 is interesting. This isn’t long after the first anime’s English dub began premiering in the USA starting November 2004. 

These cards may also have preceded the first official English manga  publications. The manga received two official printings in English, one by Viz Media in the USA and one by Chuang Yi in Singapore. Viz Media published Vol. 1′s First Edition in May 2005; Chuang Yi was November 2005. I doubt there’d be any coordination between different companies in different parts of the world creating cards and manga and anime. Different name interpretations were far more likely to happen with FMA being turned into English for the first times. There was no established precedent for how-to-spell-what. As everyone in 2005 was working through their stuff independently or semi-independently, they were giving our girl a different first name.

Now, Riza’s name had been published in the Roman alphabet as “Riza Hawkeye” earlier than when my cards came out. The Japanese company Bandai (that gave us the Liza Hawkeye figure)... also gave us a 2003 card calling her “Riza Hawkeye.” That is, within the same company within a short amount of time, they printed two different spellings of a character’s name. There’s another card set, from 2004, that lists her as “Riza Hawkeye” as well.

After FMA’s nascent years, Hawkeye’s Roman-spelled name quickly became solidified as “Riza.” Almost all “Liza” materials I’ve seen are 2005 or earlier. The latest material I’ve seen listed as “Liza” is a card with a copyright of 2007. 

The English release of the two most important FMA franchise materials - the manga and the anime - would have solidified Hawkeye’s first name as “Riza.” On September 17, 2005, Riza’s full name was stated on screen for the first time in the English airdate... as “First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye.” This was in Ep. 27 “Teacher.”

Viz Media worked alongside all this. Viz Media published both the English anime book materials (like Fullmetal Alchemist Anime Profiles, printed in English in 2006) and the manga itself. I believe the first time Riza’s first name was given in the manga was Chapter 24, when Riza introduced herself to Winry. Viz Media printed Vol. 6 (which contains Ch. 24) in February 2006. By this point, for English-speaking fans (especially in the Western Hemisphere), all major FMA materials would have called her “Riza.”

I imagine that by then, that now-iconic name would have been foolish to change. One of the most popular characters was branded firmly as “Riza” by the start of 2006. Couldn’t change that now. Unlike the earliest merchandise, now everything about Riza - both English and Japanese materials - called her Riza. All my Japanese guidebooks that never got English translations call her “Riza.” (And these are guidebooks that continue to have Roman alphabet spelling variations between other characters - even when all published in the same year). None variation left beef for Riza. I want to buy the Perfect Guidebooks, which are older than all the guidebooks I currently own, and see what they say for her name... but for now... everything I’m holding that’s in Japanese is post-2006 and all say “Riza” when they print her name in Roman letters.

I don’t know what Arakawa intended, especially as the earliest Japanese merchandise gives us both Riza and Liza. If the earliest merchandise all said one name, we could have guessed that Arakawa gave the approval. But that’s not the case. The names vary in early Japanese Bandai merch. Nor can we trust major English translated sources as hints of Arakawa’s intentions. It doesn’t seem like they asked Arakawa for explanation on everyone’s intended names. Viz doesn’t provide a good representation on what Arakawa wanted, given as they messed up majorly on other names and are only correcting them NOW, in 2018 and 2019, in their Fullmetal Edition of the manga (in the trade paperbacks, they called Kyle Halling “Khayal,” spelled Kimblee’s name two different ways, wrote “Isvharlan” in Vol. 2, gave the country’s name as “Ishbal” above drawings from the manga that wrote “Ishval,” misinterpreted Xerxes as “Cselkcess,” and lots of other fun oddities...).

And while some names get written in English in the manga artwork proper, I’ve only seen Hawkeye’s last name.

I know far from everything. There’s still lots I have to check. Don’t take my word as law.

THAT SAID. 

From the information I know... I find it fascinating it’s VERY possible Arakawa’s initial inspiration was “Liza Hawkeye.” NOT Riza. There’s in fact good linguistic reason to suppose this.

For people who aren’t familiar with Japanese typography / orthography, the Japanese writing system is composed of kanji and kana. Kanji are characters with semantic complexity to them; the kanji are usually included in a word for meaning-related reasons, but the pronunciation of the kanji can vary depending upon whether the word it contextually represents is a native Japanese word, a Chinese loan word, the first or second kanji in a compound, etc. Kana, unlike kanji, are basically read the same way every time. Instead of being symbols depicting semantic content, kana depict pronunciation content. Kana are written in a syllabary system. A syllabary is like an alphabet except that every symbol represents a syllable you pronounce (or, in Japanese, a mora). Japanese kana are two sets of syllabaries, the hiragana and katakana. Katakana is used to spell recently adopted loan words.

Because FMA characters’ names are (almost) all taken from European names, their names are written in katakana. But because Japanese is a different language than European languages, it has different sounds in it. This means that, when European loan words get imported into Japanese, pronunciation changes happen. The pronunciations allowed in European languages are altered into acceptable sound structures Japanese allows - its phonetics and phonology and phonotactics.

Now, Arakawa doesn’t always spell European words “typically” for katakana. Japanese has over the last few decades adopted many English loanwords. For instance, there’s a loan word for “mustang,” which is 「 ムスタング 」. Roughly, ム = mu, ス = su, タ = ta, ン = n, and  グ = gu. So, the Japanese word for “mustang” is musutangu. Arakawa actually gives Colonel Mustang a different spelling than that - he’s masutangu 「 マスタング 」.

Perhaps this was because Arakawa saw the name “Mustang” in Roman letters and did her own import into kana. In the process of her changing “Mustang” from Roman letters to katakana, she might have chosen “ma” instead of “mu”. Perhaps this was because she thought this would make his name sound cooler, look unique, or make her metaphoric name more subtle. Or, perhaps this arose in foresight with the eventual “Madame Christmas” wordplay (“Christmas” in Japanese is 「 クリスマス」kurisumasu, which makes her full name kurisu masutangu - get how that works perfectly?). Whatever the reason(s), we know that Arakawa’s katakana spelling of imported European words isn’t always what Japanese’s loan word katakana spelling officially does.

Riza’s name in the Japanese could be another instance of this.

To explain what I mean, let’s take a look at my graphic:

Each line is a name in Roman letters (acceptable in English) with its corresponding Japanese spelling. In parentheses is a rough pronunciation of how that katakana’s pronounced.

First: There are indications that Riza’s full given name is Elizabeth. Some fans say it’s just her code name, akin to how “Jaqueline” is Havoc’s code name. It’s true we hear Roy call her “Elizabeth” in that code name setting. However, it’s also interesting that he calls her “Elizabeth” when he’s visiting Madame Christmas. In his home environment, where he’s dropping his walls and being far more honest and open to family, where he’s even blabbing about being romantically interested in Hawkeye OUT LOUD, he calls her “Elizabeth.” You could argue that it might be another instance of intentional code naming to protect her identity, but it’s still very interesting that this is a second, different, emotionally open, trusting context in which Roy names her “Elizabeth.”

Linguistically, her name seems derived from “Elizabeth,” too. Again: while spellings and pronunciations are slightly altered when Arakawa imports European names into Japanese, she’s still taking those names from a European source. But I don’t know of a common Western European name that’s essentially Riza. Go to baby names websites. You don’t get a long list of female names that are Riza, especially not in Western Europe, where Arakawa took most names. Where’d she get this?

A shortening of “Elizabeth” is likely.

Look at Line #1 of my graphic. I have the word “Elizabeth” in Roman letters alongside the katakana spelling of “Elizabeth.” 

That first line is how “Elizabeth” is usually spelled in Japanese writing. It’s 「エリザベス」. エ = e, リ = ri, ザ = za, ベ = be, and ス = su. So the Japanese version of “Elizabeth” is more or less erizabesu. Note that the same symbol 「リ」is used for both r+i and l+i. This could be a long linguistics explanation in itself, but more or less: Japanese doesn’t have separate “r” and “l” sounds. They have one sound that’s like an “r.” But, it has pronunciation variation based upon dialect, and, within a single dialect, where said “r” is placed in relation to other sounds surrounding it. The “r” can make lots of sounds (allophones), including what English speakers would call an “l.” So when imported words from European languages which have separate r and l sounds (phonemes), these r’s and l’s get reduced in Japanese into one thing, interpreted as that single “r” sound their language has.

Now, let’s go to Line #2. A common nickname for “Elizabeth” is “Liza.” Notice the spelling. Elizabeth contains the actual, unaltered spelling of Liza. However, pronunciation changes occur. The “i” in “Elizabeth” is a different sound than the “i” in “Liza.” The spelling’s the same between full name and nickname; the first vowel just sounds different.

The Japanese katakana spelling of “Liza” is based upon the pronunciation. NOT the spelling! See my visual. The way “Liza” is spelled in Japanese is 「ライザ」- that is, raiza. ラ = ra, イ = i, and ザ = za. As a result, the name “Elizabeth” in katakana does not contain the unaltered spelling of “Liza” inside it.

Note, however, that the name **RIZA** is DIRECTLY spelled inside the Japanese spelling of “Elizabeth.” 「エリザベス」 contains 「リザ」. That is, erizabesu can be truncated to riza without any spelling changes!

That’s what we see in Line #3. Note that, in red, I have highlighted where the spellings stay the same within full name and nickname.

Ergo, “Riza” is directly derived from “Elizabeth” in the katakana spelling of “Elizabeth.” That’s indirect indication that, when Arakawa was giving Riza her name, she was looking at “Elizabeth.”

In which case, “Liza” WOULD be a correct reading for Hawkeye’s first name.

Similar to the Chris Mustang thing I mentioned, making a spelling change for an “Elizabeth” nickname makes sense in Japanese. Japanese readers might not be familiar that “Liza” is a nickname for “Elizabeth.” The fact that raiza for “Liza” is spelled very different in Japanese kana compared to erizabesu for “Elizabeth” ...would make it hard to connect the dots between the two names. But giving the spelling riza makes the connection easier-to-see: for them, in katakana, they can see riza spelled inside erizabesu. Just like, in English, we can see “Liza” directly inside “Elizabeth.”

So, from what I know, I postulate that Arakawa initially envisioned “Liza Hawkeye.” It all makes linguistic sense, and the fact that early FMA merchandise from Japan sometimes uses “Liza” only helps my case. That they sometimes also called her “Riza” is a common phenomenon of Japanese publications not knowing when to make something an R and when to make something an L. I mean, in the Death Note anime, you see someone’s name listed as “Rally” instead of “Larry.” The L/R confusion is common and appears commonly in officially released Japanese materials.

I mentioned at the start of this ramble that translating names multiple times is like a game of telephone. Thus far, it seems like we went from Liza --> リザ. Then, when North American native English speakers got the Japanese 「リザ」, they had to figure out what to do with it. Because the character’s name was spelled 「リザ」 - NOT the standard「ライザ」 Japanese use to spell “Liza” - then translators wouldn’t have thought this was an intended “Elizabeth” nickname. It doesn’t help that Roy doesn’t call Riza “Elizabeth” as code until several volumes after we’re given riza (Ch. 37 Vol. 9, I believe). So, translators were left with a really oddly spelled, indeterminate name... something that could have been spelled “Leeza” or “Reeza” or “Riza” or “Leaza” or who-knows-what. But “Liza” would have, to them, seemed like a phonetically poor choice - English readers would see “Liza” and pronounce it very differently from how the Japanese would pronounce 「リザ」. If Arakawa had intended “Liza,” she would have spelled it markedly differently, right? So “Liza” would have been an unintuitive translation option for Japanese --> English translators. On the other hand, English readers would see “Riza” and pronounce it close to how the character’s name was spelled in Japanese. So even though “Riza” isn’t a normal Western European name, that’s what seemed to make sense. Ergo, “Riza” became the “intuitive” choice for translators, and that’s what they put.

It’s not unfeasible that this “Riza” choice was made independently with several groups of people - the manga translators and the English dub script workers, namely. “Riza” seems the most default “sensible” choice. And once both Viz Media and Funimation Entertainment gave English consumers, consistently, “Riza” - well that was that! It probably influenced Japanese publishers with their next materials. It would have influenced all other English products. Thus, henceforth, Japanese or English origin, we’d only see her name as “Riza”.

Don’t take this as a flawless or conclusive analysis. Opening the Perfect Guidebooks, after I buy them, might tweak or solidify some of my thoughts. There’s many materials, other merchandise, I haven’t seen the packaging to, or seen inside of, or know what year it was made. I might not have accurately remembered / researched the first instances in which names were given across the animes, manga, etc. I don’t know hoards about the Trading Card game. I’m not fluent in Japanese, just a beginner. I’m a linguist but academically I spent little time with Japanese in my studies and research. I definitely can’t mind read Arakawa. Other fans may know more(?). This is meant as a happy ramble of thoughts, not a conclusion. And I wrote this overnight instead of getting sleep. Because this is a wise use of time, right?

I will always call her “Riza.” The name fits her. It’s a unique name. It’s a cool name. I think it sounds better than “Liza Hawkeye.” I grew up with “Riza.” I’m attached to Riza. 

But I find it so fascinating to acknowledge and study the background of when she was labeled “Liza.”

I’m quite happy to be hold cards from 2005 - in my hand - that label her such.

[maliciouslycreative]

So I’ve mentioned a lot of times over the years that I used to be fandom famous in a small anime fandom and I spent a lot of my time running damage control to an anti however I’ve never actually recounted the whole tale for you all. Buckle up and crack open a lemonade because we’re going on a journey (more under the cut).

The year is 2004, I’m 17, and in my final year of high school. I wrote a lot of fanfic back then, mostly for anime fandoms and around the time I joined Gaia I started posting my fanfic “Several Blows to the Head” which became unexpectedly extremely popular. But before I go forward I feel I should give some back story because some of you will probably get extremely confused very fast otherwise.  

For those of you who don’t know about gaia online let me give you some history. Gaia was pretty much THE SHIT back in the mid to late 2000s. It was an anime themed forum website where you had a little avatar you could dress up.You gained gold by posting, playing mini games, posting in polls, or even just browsing in general. There were hundreds of subforums and in each of them a tonne of active threads. Another feature was the guild system. Basically anyone could create a guild which was pretty much your own themed subforum that  the guild admin could decide the rules and who was able to join as long as they still followed Gaia’s ToS. 

The anime I was into was (Bakuten Shoot) Beyblade, which at the time was an ongoing series. For those unfamiliar with the series a bunch of teenagers use battling tops possessed with the spirits of ancient mythological creatures and even gods to fight each other. Let’s just say it wasn’t winning any awards for amazing writing but it was a lot of fun and I LOVED my small corner of the fandom. It was pretty much your average shonen series of the time which meant that it had a main cast of 5 male characters (with a female lead added in the second season) and then very few minor female characters. The only actual canon ship was only made canon in a post canon addition to the manga that was not even released outside of Japan. So I bet you all are coming to the same conclusion that yes, there was incredibly bad shipping drama. The breakdown of shipping pretty much looked like this

10% slash

70% canon male/OC

20% canon male/canon female

Now to resume our story. I joined Gaia and headed over to the anime forum and found the main Beyblade thread. I posted an introduction and in it made mention that I was a fanfic writer and I liked slash. This was when I met C. I’m not going to drag her name as all of this went down over a decade ago and I hope that she’s grown as a person since then. If any of you are REALLY resourceful I mean the threads still exist. You can go find them and see just how awful it got.  

C was a year older than me and apparently the authority in these parts on all things Beyblade. She was also a writer but in her own words did not write fanfics, she wrote and posted novels. She was pretty well known in the canon/OC circles and had a pretty enthusiastic following. 

So when I came in to that thread and introduced myself I opened a can of worms. I was told that we did not discuss slash ships in this thread because it was not canon and it made some people uncomfortable. And ok, I can see that. It was cool. I was there to have fun and chat with people. I mean anyone that wanted to chat slash I could add on YIM, MSN, or LJ. However, 2 things started driving the knife into the wound.

It was not ok to talk slash but it was perfectly ok for C to discuss in depth her fanfics because it was an OC and obviously did not contradict canon as the stories were post (a currently unfinished) canon

People kept recognising me because my fanfic was exploding in popularity. So people kept bringing up slash and I’d get dragged into it as my fic was usually a catalyst for discussion. 

To keep things from escalating us slash fans decided to make our own thread to talk Beyblade slash. Now, there was some divide in the slash fandom and people pretty much shipped only Kai/Takao or Kai/Rei but for the sake of everyone’s sanity we put our shipping differences aside in the thread and aimed to make it a positive space for everyone. I mean, most of us were multishippers so we tended to just be excited to read anything that wasn’t one of the 9000 OC fics we had to wade through to find any slash. 

Whenever people would come into the main Beyblade thread now if they happened to mention slash they would get an extremely cold message from C if one of us didn’t manage to intervene first and direct the new member to our other thread. 

The other crux of the problem was Kai. Kai was probably the most popular character in the English fandom and Kai was C’s favourite character. She had an extremely specific idea of how people should interpret Kai. If anyone came into the thread and made a post like “I LOVE KAI <3 <3 <3” she would be rather unkind to them making back handed comments about how the person only liked him because he was attractive or a “bad boy” or that if they didn’t have anything to add to the thread they should leave because we didn’t like spamming in the thread. If we ever started character analysis on Kai then C had to have the last word. After all she shared some characteristics with Kai and obviously that meant that she therefore knew him the best. 

You all can probably imagine how well conversations went in this thread. I did my best to kindly welcome people to the thread, redirect them when they needed to be, and tried to calm down discussions when they got too heated. And if things got too bad in the main thread we’d just move to the slash thread and be super excellent to each other. There were days where C became so unbearable that her friends that didn’t even ship slash would come into the slash thread to hang with us because we were just really nice. 

She was also extremely pushy with her fics. Whenever fanfics would come up shed be the first to suggest to anyone that they should read her novels. She even tried it repeatedly on the slash fans. Being completely fed up I one day made her an offer that if she read one of my fics I’d read all of hers. I didn’t even specify which fic. So she could’ve chosen one of my under 5k fics and I would have agreed to read like 200k worth of her fics. She never agreed to this in all the years of me dealing with her. 

The worst part of it all was we couldn’t even really report her for harassment or anything because she was friends with a lot of moderators. The last thing any of us wanted was to get banned over some petty grievance since we’d lose all our hard work to making our avatars look fabulous. 

If the whole mess in the forums wasn’t bad enough there was 1 Beyblade guild and guess who the guild admin was. The atmosphere in said guild could best be described as… tense. Anyone that wasn’t one of C’s rabid followers ran under the constant fear that they’d be booted for saying something that didn’t agree with her narrow view of things. My best friend and I were honestly surprised that she even allowed us into the guild. But she probably couldn’t afford to outright deny us as I was a pretty prominent writer in the english slash community then and my friend was also a prominent writer and artist. 

Eventually we got tired of walking on eggshells constantly so some of the other slash fans and myself pooled our resources together and I created a second Beyblade guild. Our message was simple, we were just there to be a safe haven for ALL fans of the series. We were expecting pretty much the people from the slash thread and then maybe a handful of other people to join.

The entire fandom on Gaia over the course of a couple days abandoned C’s guild and joined ours. Whereas before we created ours hers was on a steady traffic decline our guild was BOOMING with posts. 

Unfortunately the oldest mail I have is from 2007 on Gaia so I don’t have any screenshots of this but C was understandably upset that we’d sniped her entire user base. We did try to smooth it over with her saying that that was never our intention but it ended with her sending me a message that literally said “ok, you win” and this is something I still think about over a decade later. It forever shifted how I perceive antis. 

My whole time in fandom I’d just been here trying to have a good time. I didn’t intend to become fandom famous. I didn’t intend to be in charge of one of the most active Beyblade forums at the time. I wasn’t trying to change C’s mind or fight her. And this whole time she’d thought I’d been fighting against her because we had different views on the series. 

The last episode of Beyblade G Revolution aired in September 2005, her guild officially closed in 2006 and the fandom eventually started drifting into other things. I stayed active in it until probably 2008 when personal stuff drew me out of fandom and then officially took a leave from fandom in 2009 when my best friend passed away. I don’t know what happened to C but I know she was still writing her novels at that point. Whenever I see fandom drama brewing I always think back to her and how frustrated she used to make me and then I think of the “ok, you win” and I’m just left feeling sad for her and people like her. I just don’t understand how people can let their hearts be so consumed by hatred and self righteousness that it poisons their entire fandom experience. I guess that’s a conversation for another time.

One final comment that I would like to make here since I didn’t know where to fit it in above is that my one friend was completely DONE with C one day and we were talking to each other and she was like “she acts like her fics save lives in Africa!” and honestly this is the most perfect description of C’s attitude. Like good for her for believing in her writing but there is sometimes a point where you need to chill out with self promotion. 

[sa-yo-u-na-ra]

My thoughts on the ending of Banana Fish and why I don’t think it’s that bad

This is going to be really, really long. (it takes 10-15 minutes to read at least no joke)

I’ve seen a lot of fans writing essays on why they like or do not like the way Banana Fish ended, and I really feel like I have to get it off my chest myself, so get ready for a long, sappy, over-poeticized post written by a sappy, over-poeticized teenage girl (whose English knowledge could use some improvement so forgive her please). Also, I had enough of some people on twitter running around saying that everyone who didn’t hate the ending is homophobic.

Some important things:

I do not intend to convince anyone. Everybody has their own opinions.

I don’t really want to get into long, pointless comment fights either. We have different opinions, and even if you think any single thing I’ve wrote in this essay doesn’t make sense then alright. Your opinion is totally fine and valid. I just wrote this essay so you can understand why some people don’t hate the ending as much as most of you do. (I hardly doubt there’s anyone out there who doesn’t hate the ending at all though)

 IS THE ENDING OF BANANA FISH PROBLEMATIC?

Yes. I think this question was in @http-eiji’s essay on the ending (you guys go read it, it really makes you think, plus the idea of writing a huge essay on the ending is kinda copied from her): ”Even if you don’t think anything I’ve said in this section makes the ending problematic, can you see why there are people who do?” And my answer is yes, I do. I remember when I was first informed how the story ends I’ve read a lot of posts ranting about why Banana Fish is Bury Your Gays and how it seems to tell CSA victims that they can’t be happy. Now, I’m not an LGBT member, neither am I a CSA victim, so I don’t think it’s my place to tell the fans who are if the ending should frustrate them or not, because there are a lot of them who are, obviously, frustrated by it. And I can see why. Banana Fish’s ending can be seen as Bury Your Gays and one can see that the vibe it gives off is that no matter how hard you try to come past your traumas, death is the only choice in the end. At first my thoughts were pretty much like this. I was really, really angry. But I slowly calmed down as I was giving it more thought, and I realized that I couldn’t hate the ending. Or, at least, not entirely.

I don’t know too much Bury Your Gays stories, but I know that it’s a pattern that was most likely used in early gay stories: the homosexual character(s) often died at the end of them. And this must be frustrating for the LGBT people. But still, just because there are a lot of stories like this, it doesn’t mean that Banana Fish had to have a happy ending, other way it’s a homophobic piece of crap. Banana Fish had the ending the mangaka planned for it. She didn’t have to write a happy ending to satisfy anyone. It’s her story. She wrote it as she wanted, just like any other writers. I think it definitely wasn’t written as a “just because gays die in other stories so I’ll just kill him as well”, because it’s in character and it fits the story as well and it’s well-written, too. And her message for sure wasn’t that gay people will die at the end no matter what.

I personally don’t think it’s Bury Your Gays or a message to CSA victims that they should die, although it’s definitely debatable. (The first one, I mean. The second one just kinda…doesn’t make sense.) But to me, the ending seems so heartfelt and clever…I just can’t bring myself to think it’s BRG or a bad message. I do believe that it was logical. I think it’s so much more, and I hope that some of the people frustrated with it can find peace with it eventually at least as much as I did. (I sound like some monk talking about finding peace. I told you it’s going to be sappy!)

 WHY DOESN’T THE ENDING SEEM LOGICAL AT FIRST?

“There had been too much emotion, too much damage, too much of everything.”

-Ernest Hemingway: The Garden of Eden

I always thought it’s interesting how Lao was the technical killer of Ash, but still he doesn’t get the hate he would logically deserve. Because it wasn’t any kind of murder. It’s said in the manga that he missed Ash’s vital organs. So, in conclusion, it’s Ash who chooses death.

Normally, I wouldn’t blame him. With all the things he had to deal with since his childhood, I would probably choose death, too. Even if it wasn’t the right choice.

But Ash is different. He’s a fighter. He might not fear death, but he never wishes for it either, as it is told by him. To me, it always sounded like: I’m not seeking death, but if I have to die, then so be it. Remember how he acted when he was stabbed by Arthur? He was thinking about how peaceful and gentle it all is.

But. Still. He has Eiji. Fucking Eiji, and it’s clear from that god damned love letter that he doesn’t blame Ash for anything, and loves him more than anything, and that he’s ready to live his life with Ash by his side. He’s not just ready, he wants it, for God’s sake! Ash is Eiji’s soulmate. This must had been clear for him, too.

WHAT KILLED ASH?

“Tired, tired with nothing, tired with everything, tired with the world’s weight he had never chosen to bear.”

-F. Scott Fitzgerald: The Beautiful and Damned

The things I’ve wrote in the upper paragraphs are the things that are usually said as reasons why the ending isn’t in character. But one thing, as I noticed, is always overlooked: the guilt. It’s clear to me that Akimi Yoshida had chosen to kill Ash because of the guilt he was bearing. She literally said that he died because he was a murderer burdened by his sense of guilt. (Although she said a lot of other contrary things in other topics, so I’m not sure if I should quote her. I still do it though. Just don’t take this as a fact.)  And I can feel that.

We all love Ash so, so much we hardly ever think of him as a bad person. But try to look at things from his point of view. I don’t think he chose death because of his traumas. I mean, maybe that was a part of it, too. But the very reason he chose death was his guilt. He killed hundreds of people. People he liked, people he didn’t even know. Good and bad people. He killed them all for his own sake, and while he says he doesn’t feel anything because of it, it’s pretty clear how much he hates himself. He bears so much guilt that no one should. Especially not a 17-year-old child. But unfortunately, he does. Guilt might be the worst thing in the world. It crushes your soul and mind. It’s the thing that makes you hate yourself the most. It makes you do and think things that are not logical, no matter how other people try to convince you. It makes you think you don’t deserve anything, and when you’re finally starting to believe in yourself, the smallest, simplest thing can throw you back into your self-shaming and blaming and hating. And it just can’t disappear. And just try to imagine bearing the guilt of killing hundreds of people. How could Ash think that he deserves Eiji? Even with the letter. It made him feel loved, yes (which is, at least to me, is more important than anything anyway). But it didn’t quite made him believe in himself enough. That’s a whole another process.

When he was stabbed by Arthur, he already loved Eiji more than anything. Still, when he was in surgery, the only thing he could think of was how he hurt Shorter and how he would hurt Eiji too, eventually. How he doesn’t deserve him.

The issue here wasn’t that he couldn’t have a happy ending. He could have, possibly without Lao.

The issue here was that he never even believed he deserved one to begin with, and when he finally started to think he deserves it, Lao came, and his fragile belief in the possibility of happiness crumbled down again. That might just be my theory, but to me it’s very real.

“I...My body...it reacts like a machine and kills people like nothing. Without feeling, without thinking. I’ve never been so scared of myself or so ashamed.”

WHAT WAS ASH THINKING IN HIS FINAL MOMENTS?

“It would be better alone, anything is better alone but I don't think I can handle it alone.”

-Ernest Hemingway: To Have and Have Not

I think when he was reading the letter, he forgot about his guilt. He suddenly got a peek of happiness, a better life with Eiji. This is why he started running. But then Lao happened, and he was reminded that he doesn’t deserve that. That he hurt and killed people, and that’s all he’s capable of. That no matter how hard he tries, fate won’t ever let him have a happy ending, because he doesn’t deserve that. But the letter…the letter was proof that he’s a human, after all. That he’s loved. And oh God, how much is he loved. This fact alone was already more than he thought he deserved. But for once, he let himself chose a selfish choice. He might not deserve happy ending with Eiji. But he doesn’t want to keep on living without him either. So he decided. He decided to change his leopard-like fate, and rather than keep on living in the cold world of loneliness which he thought was waiting for him thereafter, he chose to at least die with the most precious thing for him, the letter in his hands, which made him feel like he’s not alone at all. A choice he believed will make him the happiest. So he went to the most peaceful place he knew. He read the letter over and over, and died with the happiest feeling in the world, with the overwhelming knowledge that he’s not alone, and that he is loved, after all. Hiroko Utsumi said it herself: the ending may seem as a sad one at first, but the last expression of Ash makes it clear that he was happy in the end.

This might be just something that we tell ourselves to make it less painful, but hey. We have to hold on to something.

“Must be a nice dream.”

IS THE ENDING OF BANANA FISH THE BEST ENDING POSSIBLE?

“I don't care about truth. I want some happiness.”

-every fangirl ever before going on ao3 to read fix-it fics (just kidding. F. Scott Fitzgerald: The Beautiful and Damned)

Without a doubt, hell fucking no. And this is the rage part. Ash’s one of the smartest people in the world. And the police are kinda on his side. He has a lot of connections as well. So if he wanted to disappear from New York, he could. And that is the very reason the title is not: ”About why I love the ending”. Because although I do think the ending was reasonable and in character and that it wasn’t Bury Your Gays and shit, it could have been a happy ending. Because there’s no doubt: Ash’s way of thinking was self-destructive, he absolutely deserved Eiji. His way of thinking was harmful and stupid. I just wish he had the time to realize this. And I wish for many other things that will never happen with the two of them, and this why I despise the ending even if I do think it’s a good one. Because while the ending is beautiful, it’s really sad, and who loves that? Nobody. Alright, maybe I do. But I still hate it. When I think about all the what-ifs…I can’t seem to bring myself to say I simply love the ending and that it’s good as it is. I don’t think the ending ruined the story, it just made it…sadder? If that’s even possible. I can’t hate the Banana Fish ending…but I can’t love it either.

 WHAT IS THE MESSAGE OF BANANA FISH?

“Don’t ever kid yourself about loving some one. It is just that most people are not lucky enough ever to have it. You never had it before and now you have it. What you have, whether it lasts just through today and a part of tomorrow, or whether it lasts for a long life is the most important thing that can happen to a human being. There will always be people who say it does not exist because they cannot have it. But I tell you it is true and that you have it and that you are lucky even if you die tomorrow.”

-Ernest Hemingway: For Whom The Bell Tolls

To me, this quote is literally it. I’ve been thinking a lot about why I can’t hate this whole thing. And it’s because it might be stupid and sad all it is, it gives me a message, after all. I’m not sure if Akimi Yoshida intended to give this message, but here we are. I have it. I think I can’t hate the ending because it hits hard. It makes me appreciate the love and happiness of Ash and Eiji. It gives me the vibe that Ash’s fragile belief in the possibility of his happiness, to use my words from earlier, might had been easy to destroy because of his guilt. But not his love for Eiji, which shines brightly even after long years of his death in Garden of Light. Everything can be destroyed somehow, but the most beautiful, innocent kind of love. That kind of love that gives you everything and asks for nothing. No matter how fucked up your life may have been, no matter how fucked up you might be, you can still feel love. This is the meaning of Banana Fish to me. Just like Eiji, I am, of course sad and of course missing him, but most importantly: I am grateful that I got to spend at least a short amount of time with Ash. The message, to me at least, I think is that even when you have literally nothing left, you can find something. And that something is more important than anything, even if it lasts for just a little while. Even if you die tomorrow, the thing that matters is that something. (But that doesn’t mean you should die! You should live and enjoy it because you are not guilty at all and you deserve it. Ehm. I’m talking to you, Ash.)

 that page of Garden of Light that never fails to make me cry at least a little bit, no matter how many times I’ve read it before

IN CONCLUSION

“I don't exactly know what I mean by that, but I mean it.”

J. D. Salinger: The Catcher in the Rye

This essay was never intended to in the and tell the readers: do I love the ending or do I hate it. I can’t bring myself to say either. I wouldn’t say I like the ending, because it’s such a neutral word for something that I have so complicated feelings about...But still, if I’d say I love it, that would just sound so stupid. How can you love something so depressing, even if it’s not necessarily bad? But I can’t hate it either. So I’m saying I have a love-hate relationship with it. It’s like with the mangaka herself: I love Akimi Yoshida, but she’s a bit cruel. But that’s not the point.

I think what gets me in the ending scene is how beautiful it is. It might be sad, but I can’t ignore how beautiful the words of Eiji are, and how peaceful and happy Ash looks. I really think that although this ending might make me angry and sad, it’s beautifully written, and although maybe it had other BRG works’ impact on it, I feel like it’s still really well-written and has a soul on its own.

So, is the ending of Banana Fish good? To use Blanca’s words, that’s something for you to decide yourself. Is it a boring, stupid trope played for shock factor and for the sake of tragedy? Is it a beautiful, unique, heartfelt scene with a positive meaning? Or something between the two? It all depends on you and your taste and perspective, as it does with every other form and act of art. Because, in the end, no fictional thing hurts real people, so from where should we know if our opinion is wrong or right? And I think this is why it’s pointless to fight over it. Maybe some of you still remember the thing that Literature teachers often tell us: there are always two people creating a story: the writer and the reader.

This essay was intended to make clear one single thing: to me, it’s clear from how Akimi Yoshida talks in her interviews that she doesn’t think the ending was that important. The same with Hiroko Utsumi.

In conclusion, I think we all give a little too much thought to the ending. Who gives a fuck about the ending? The love of Ash and Eiji was, is and always will be real, no matter what. No matter how fucked up the ending might be.

Because it’s the journey that matters rather than the end.

“They’re both enjoying their rest in a ski resort” -Akimi Yoshida herself, 1995 (See, guys? Don’t worry, they’re totally fine. The ending doesn’t even matter.)

[simplylove101]

Influential TV Shows

Okay this is kinda random and why I prob won’t tag the shows I list cuz this is more just something I wanted to get out of my head after watching J&J’s latest podcast where they were talking about this topic. They kept it to 7 shows each and while that would certainly be interesting to try, that’s kinda hard. lol I went about grouping some of them - shows that shaped me growing up, shows that impacted me/stuck with me, comfort shows/watch with the family, taught me about fandoms, etc. And saying something about each of them. Anyway, this is stupid but here we go lol:

The Shows Growing Up:

Sailor Moon: Okay, nobody make fun of me. lol This is the first show I remember really watching as a kid that wasn't Barney or whatever, something I decided to watch by myself and it actually had an ongoing story. And ofc it took time for me to realize that this was just an English dubbed version that they would play on Cartoon Network. Looking back on it, it’s a little cringey (the voice readings, Serena being a bit of a crybaby) but seeing girls, even if it was animated, kicking ass over evil as a group made an impression on me so it’s no wonder I would watch it religiously after school and was sad when they stopped airing it. And ofc I watched all the movies too. I was a shameless fan. lmao I also eventually read the manga and appreciated it.

Hey Arnold: As a kid, I would watch Cartoon Network & Nickelodeon (& eventually Disney when I got a little bit older), and I think one of the Nickelodeon shows that really stuck with me as a kid, like Rugrats, was this one. It had a wide range of really distinct characters. It was genuinely funny. And I did love the dynamic between Arnold & Helga (who was interesting & sometimes they would let her be the protagonist of an ep instead of him, like the therapist one which is a def fave) even if her crush was kinda as stalkerish as you can get why maintaining innocence. lol And you know what? I did totally watch the recent movie they did where it tied up loose ends like getting these two together and allowing her to grow as a character. Gotta say it was rewarding after all this time. lol  

All That: I feel like I gotta put this here because I watched this show all the time as a kid. And I think it’s something that really taught me about comedy. I had seen things from Saturday Night Live growing up cuz of my parents but this was my Nickelodeon version with people that weren’t much older than me at the time so I could really get what was going on/enjoy it. It’s also the first place where we saw people like Amanda Bynes & Kenan Thompson & Kel Mitchell (which is partly why I later watched things like The Amanda Show and Kenan & Kel) What can I say? As a young person, it was just really cool seeing kids being funny. Yeah, there was some cheese but I didn’t care. It stayed with me.

Boy Meets World/Sister, Sister/Lizzie McGuire/Even Stevens: I kinda cheated here and bundled these shows because these are four of the shows I watched on Disney growing up (Disney showed reruns of Boy Meets World & Sister, Sister for the record) There were others like That’s So Raven, Suite Life, Wizards of Waverly sort of, Proud Family to name a few but these shows I picked have such iconic episodes that I still remember well and love. Like Even Stevens - musical episode hands down Idc. Boy Meets World - Scream-inspired Halloween ep for sure. Yes, there was cheesiness with all these shows. Sometimes very after-school special, but they shaped me I think. Also gotta mention, I remember thinking of Hilary Duff as my idol. lol

The Ones I Watched With the Fam:

That 70′s Show: Now the thing with my family is that we were one where for a time we would watch tv while eating dinner and my dad would have control of what channel we watched. It was always this way, which meant it would either be Law & Order or Seinfeld (the second one I was cool with and I almost included it on here cuz it’s such a staple comedy but eh,,, I appreciated it more later on. It felt more forced on me at the time) This is probably one of the only shows I can say my whole family truly agreed on watching all together tho, including my sister who generally watches trashy reality shows. This show will always remain one of my faves, because it was hilarious. It got a little weaker towards the end (We do NOT speak about Season 8) but I loved how it was a true ensemble sitcom where everyone brought something to the table and enjoyed the different dynamics between the group. The funny running gags, Jackie & Hyde still remain one of my all-time otps, and Kelso is probably the funniest & lovable dumb character I can think of (If nothing else, Ashton Kutcher was meant to play this part ok) It was nice to have something my whole family could enjoy together. It was a rarity so this show has a special place in my heart for that alone.

Joan of Arcadia: Another show that has a place in my heart, despite it only lasting 2 seasons and it ending on a bad note (major cliffhanger, still never fully making things right w/ Adam after destroying his character, ultimately S2 was problematic but still) because this is a show that I watched religiously (pun not actually intended here lol) with my mom every Friday it was on. What I loved about it was that the concept is centered around Joan talking to God yet it generally wasn’t being preachy. Joan wasn’t always willing to do what God wanted her to do, and things didn’t always turn out how she wanted. It was a kinda perfect blend for me and my mom to watch together. After this we were more willing to watch stuff as a pair cuz we were close but this started all that. I remember always being curious how God would appear to Joan cuz it was always changing, but there were some fave recurring ones like Cute Guy God, Goth God & Old Lady God to name a few. heh Joan was played wonderfully by the awesome Amber Tamblyn who could always make me cry (naturally she played my fave Tibby in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movies too lol) and she had awesome friends in Adam & Grace (who were my faves) and family. I rewatched this show and you know, I’d say S1 holds up and even the first half of S2. Heck, the episode where Joan & Adam break up towards the end of it, while totally heartbreaking and PISSES me off cuz bad writing for Adam, was solid simply for the acting so there’s that. lol

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Putting this show under this category because this was a show that I mostly got into because my sister loved it growing up. I was really young when it came out so I mostly remembered bits & pieces when I later watched it when I got a little older. It stuck with me tho cuz ofc the awesome Sarah Michelle Gellar playing badass Buffy (she was my sister’s idol) and it was a genuinely funny and smart show. It also got dark too. It wasn’t always solid towards the end, but I think it mostly nailed the actual ending (why Anya had to die tho... Spike I got but ugh) Anyway, this was kinda a big deal cuz it was the only thing my sister and I really watched together that wasn’t bad reality television or me barely paying attention to Dawson’s Creek at the time lol This showed that my sister could have taste when she wanted to (lmao sorry)

The Carol Burnett Show: I had to mention this show because this is one that got me, really my family, through dealing with my mom’s dementia. We chose to care for her at home instead of putting her in a nursing home. We did this for 2 years until her death. And the one thing we (excluding my sister cuz her & old stuff don’t mix) could always count on cheering us up was this show. My dad told me that my mom loved this show growing up and that’s why we turned on for her. So luckily memory or no memory, she still had a sense of humor and she knew when to laugh. And with good reason. This show is hilarious. So iconic. Carol Burnett was/is rightfully loved dearly for this show. I wish I had more I could say, but this was truly a comfort show when I desperately needed it so I am forever grateful that it existed.

Honorable Mention: Young & Hungry - another show that got us through that dark period, my dad actually really enjoyed this, despite seeming skeptical, and eventually started calling it the “Josh & Gaby Show” lmao Only thing is we never finished it together so oops. Not so much influential maybe but worth mentioning it felt like since it was underrated, got me thru a tough time, was hilarious and I loved that cast a lot. Emily Osment deserved to be the lead of her own show. Comedy queen.

The Ones That Brought Out the Fangirl In Me AKA The Teen Years:

The O.C/One Tree Hill/Gossip Girl/The Vampire Diaries: Another category where I’m just grouping them up together cuz ultimately it wasn’t about high art with these shows. They were the staple teen shows that everyone was watching and well, I was one of those people. lol It all started with The O.C. It was one of those ‘at the right time’ kinda things cuz I just went into the 6th grade when S1 started and it was such a big hit that everyone was always talking about it and there were even shirts involved (I never went that far lol) but this is where my need to explore YouTube came and then I was making fanvids. Gossip Girl is the one where I actually inserted myself into a fandom for the first time. My goodness the cringe that came with it but it gave me two of the longest online friendships I’ve ever had so I don’t regret it. (Shoutout to @backtothestart02 here as one of them) And well, three of these shows taught me the toxicity that can come from fandom. So I’ve been less vocal/more aware with other shows because of it. There’s problematic stuff in all of these but they were entertaining most of the time despite frustration (lol) 

Honorable Mention: Teen Wolf - Had to mention this one cuz this was a show where I had a group of friends who all watched this together and we talked about it til the end (even when we weren’t happy with it lol) I was never really vocal in the fandom cuz by this point I was wary of them (fandoms I mean), but it was nice to share a show with people who felt similarly about it. As a show, I truly loved it up to 3B. Some of my favorite episodes were the ones that almost felt standalone-ish (3x06 AKA Motel California still remains my fave to this day) Lastly, it’s because of this show I was introduced to Dylan O’Brien who I always refer to as my ‘always & forever’ guy so yeah lol

Maybe Superhero Shows Are Worth Watching lol:

The Flash/Daredevil/Cloak & Dagger/Runaways: So I’m someone who growing up, beyond Spider-Man and Batman, never really jumped at superhero movies. I still don’t to an extent but I’m more willing to watch stuff now. I think because when it comes to TV, I’m willing to check out at least an ep. I got into The Flash because my friend Lauren was really into it (and still very much is now) and wanted me to check it out so I did. I sorta watched Arrow before it until a point so I’d seen Barry’s appearances on it and remembered thinking he was precious so I wasn’t surprised that I liked him as a main character. I do think these later seasons have lost some quality but I think the earlier ones were very solid and Grant is perfect in the role. Daredevil... R.I.P. That show was so high quality so the fact that Netflix cancelled it is just rude. Now... Cloak & Dagger has been one of those surprises for me cuz it was such a slow burn that when it really got going it left me wanting more. That S1 finale was so solid. Cannot wait for S2. Love the dynamic between Ty & Tandy. Now Runaways isn’t perfect but it’s my biggest fandom right now and I’m proud of that fact. It’s a show that highlights diversity with 4 PoC leads & 4 kickass ladies (Nico & Gert are my bb girls), healthy ships including an LGBTQ couple currently as the main one (tho it is Gertchase that owns my heart), and overall a pretty great cast that meshes well like the thrown together family they portray. It even got me back into writing fanfic again. A miracle tbh. lol

Overall Just Amazing:

This Is Us: I just think that this show pulled me in the second they revealed that first plot twist in the pilot. It surprised me and then they kept doing that a bit after. Now it’s more about how it has the ability to make me cry every ep and feel things. It doesn’t always touch me the same it did in that first season (it was an emotional year for me tbh) but it does have a class act cast who can always pull at my heart strings.

Boardwalk Empire: This technically could have went under something I sort of watched with my dad, but it is kinda a weird show to share I guess. We didn’t usually watch it together (saved some awkward convos sometimes lol) but always talked about each episode weekly and it was kinda fun cuz it was usually in-depth. My dad still quotes things from it to this day. He also once said that he considers S1 the best TV season he’s ever watched. I agree that it was great. For me, the first 3 seasons are solid while the last 2 felt different but still pretty good. There was such quality to it. Great acting headed by Steve Buscemi. What can I say? I have a thing for gangster stories. I could say more but I’ll stop. lol

Stranger Things: The show that really turned me into a binge-watcher. I had just gotten Netflix and what show did I decide to watch on my birthday? This show. I had seen things in the media about the kids from it and I was like, they’re adorable!! And ofc I got hooked when I actually watched the show. It just has everything in it that I like: mystery, thrills, humor, hint of romance, awesome acting, music moments, nostalgia. This was my obsession for a while until I got into some other things but if you don’t think I’m totally pumped for S3, then you best believe I’m watching it all in a day if I can. lol

Community: This is a show that reminded me how a show can think totally outside of the box and still have a lot of heart with its comedy. I love situations where a group of misfits come together and become a family. I love that this show celebrates being different. Troy Barnes remains one of my favorite TV characters ever (& omg his friendship with Abed is pure goals!!) and Donald Glover played him perfectly. And Alison Brie is just adorable as Annie. Love this group of weirdos. The quality was different after S3 but I still adore it.

Into the Badlands: Have to mention this show because what it has been doing action-wise is just incredible. The fighting sequences are out of this world. I’m always excited to see how they top it. Also, an Asian male lead? Go dude! The whole cast is wonderful and everything is just high quality, ok? Also, that cinematography!! Can’t believe it’s ending when it comes back. Sadness.

One Day at a Time: This is more of a recent discovery for me (had friends who watched it and knew it was good but only decided to check it out not too long ago) but it’s already made its impact on me. This show has so much heart to it. The writers put so much care into their work when they bring up these controversial issues in the episodes. All while being totally hilarious (but also trust me, I manage to cry at least 1 or twice an ep lol) A show centered on a Cuban family, plenty of good rep for LGBTQ/non-binary people while also handling things like depression/anxiety, addiction, immigration, etc. It’s definitely making its mark on TV. Also, Rita Moreno is a living legend who I adore. I love this cast so much.

12 Monkeys: I. loved. this. show! I still think it had the best series finale that I have seen in a while. It wrapped up things so well that I was smiling for a while after watching it. I couldn’t believe that of all shows this one gave me a happy ending. lol Casserole remains one of my all-time ships because they were truly epic and pulled at my heart strings so many times. Jennifer Goines was my queen. But seriously, a show about time travel that managed to make sense? So impressed. And the visuals? gahhh

Friday Night Lights: Last, but most definitely not least, this show is just up there as one of the all-time bests IDC. The fact that at first glance the show seems centered only about football and it got me to keep watching definitely says something. lol This show had so much heart, the cast was excellent, an ending that was pretty much perfect. Coach & Tami Taylor were relationship goals. Honestly one of the best portrayals of a married couple I’ve ever seen because they were very much a team (while yes there was the occasional bickering that you gotta love) and it just felt real, you know? Also, it’s a show that proved that you can come back from a sophomore slump (yeah S2 was the worst season) and continue to be great.I can’t decide if it’s my favorite show of all-time but it’s certainly one of the first ones to come to mind. So glad I decided to give it a chance.

There’s probably a couple other shows I could list here but some I haven’t finished yet and don’t feel ready to put them on here yet. This is just what I could come up with.

[sonnets-and-snowdrops]

Heya! Hope you're pleasantly drunk by now! Is the Shunsui b-day thing still on? If so, Shun-Uki head canons please! Whatever you want to say about it (I reckon you might have a thing or two...)

Hey hey, Anon! Yes yes, the birthday thing is absolutely still on - and, actually, I think I might just, like, leave it on indefinitely. I kinda like this game, heh.

(Sorry I didn’t get to your ask last night, btw. I fell asleep at like 1am because I’m a square. Eh. Oh well. Shunsui would be proud of me for that, too. He’s a guy who gets the whole sleep thing.)

Anyway! ShunUki headcanons, you ask? As a matter of fact, my friend, I do indeed have a headcanon or two! But because going through all of them would take a long, long time - I think I may just describe one of them here, if that’s cool. Do feel free to drop another ask later if you’d like more, though!

One of the most bizarre and fascinating things to me about Shunsui is that his first-person pronoun of choice is boku.

For those who are unfamiliar with Japanese first-person pronouns, Wikipedia has this to say about boku: “Used by males of all ages; very often used by boys. Perceived as humble, but can also carry an undertone of “feeling young” when used by males of older age. Also used when casually giving deference; “servant” uses the same kanji (僕 shimobe).” That doesn’t convey all of the flavor of using the pronoun “boku” in anime, but for context - other Bleach characters who use “boku” include Uryuu, Hanatarou, Yumichika, Gin, Kira (and Rose, now that I think of it - so everyone of significance in Squad 3, I guess - huh. Maybe there’s something in that. Also maybe not. Eh. Whatever), Szayel, Tsukishima, Urahara during TBTP (he switches to atashi later, which is a whole nother thing, but I won’t get into that here), and others. In the world of anime, I find that boku is used by characters who are either “polite speakers,” characters who are young, or characters who are a little bit slippery, and are trying to hide something.

I didn’t know until I was well into the TYBW arc that Shunsui used boku - mostly because I’d watched the anime dubbed *cringes* and was reading the manga in English. I’d assumed, knowing that he was a powerful dude with chest hair, that he used ore (which I’ll get into in a minute), or maaaaaybe even washi (i.e., the old man pronoun). 

So, already reeling from this new knowledge, I, of course, had to ask myself - which pronoun does Ukitake use? He’s kind and polite, isn’t he? Surely - surely - a guy like that uses boku…?

But no, my friends - Juu-chan, tragic and handsome embodiment of Shinigami sunshine that he is, uses the first-person pronoun ore.

…which, as promised, we will discuss here. Ah-ha-ha-hem: “Frequently used by men. Establishes a sense of masculinity. Can be seen as rude depending on the context. Emphasizes one’s own status when used with peers and with those who are younger or of lesser status. Among close friends or family, its use conveys familiarity rather than masculinity or superiority.” So, yeah - basically, in anime terms, it’s a quick way of letting the audience know that this character is a man who is comfortable with being a man, and in some cases, it can be a way of conveying that a character is assertive, or a generally informal speaker. Other Bleach characters who use ore include Ichigo, Renji, Kenpachi (so, just to be totally clear here, Ukitake uses the same first-person pronoun as Kenpachi), Shuuhei, Iba, Starrk, Nnoitra, and Grimmjow (which - again - Ukitake uses the same first-person pronoun as freaking Grimmjow), among others.

Learning that boku was Shunsui’s pronoun of choice and that ore was Ukitake’s forced me to think about both of them a little bit differently - and, I eventually found, in ways that I liked, and that made sense for their characters, when I actually sat down to connect all of the dots.

I think that ShunUki is a frequently misunderstood ship. I’ve read dozens of fics, for example, that portray Ukitake as a perpetually ailing optimist who leans heavily on his best friend for support, both physical and emotional. There’s validity in writing fics like that - and, full disclosure, I’m an absolute sucker for a well-written sickfic - but I think that ending one’s conclusions about ShunUki there does a disservice to both Shunsui and Ukitake, and oversimplifies the ship in general.

I believe that, generally speaking, Ukitake is a fundamentally stronger person than Shunsui is. He’s encountered hardship, but he’s well-adjusted and personable. He’s emotionally intuitive, but he still possesses the ability to make difficult decisions. He’s a man of peace who has still applied himself wholeheartedly to learning the arts of war. He’s a cute, sweet, goodhearted gentleman who loves sweets and has no idea how to cultivate bonsai. He knows who he is - strengths and weaknesses and all - and he is not ashamed of himself. And his pronoun of choice, ore, reflects his quiet but undeniable inner confidence.

Shunsui, by contrast, drinks all day and takes naps in the middle of the afternoon on a regular basis. Shunsui can’t keep up with his paperwork. Shunsui doesn’t have a good relationship with his family.  Shunsuihas a soul whose greatest power manifests itself through a dark, painful, intricate story of lovers who commit suicide.

When you think about it like that, is it any wonder that Shunsui might feel a little more comfortable using boku, an potentially more elusive pronoun than the arguably expected ore?

I still had to figure out, though, why these pronouns still threw me for a bit of a loop. On the surface, I still struggled to see Ukitake as anything but a boku user (or maaaaybe watashi, I guess, but that’s a little stuffy for him imo) and to see Shunsui as anything but an ore user.

And thanks to these thoughts, a headcanon (I promise, I didn’t forget what this question was actually about lol) was born.

I think that, when Shunsui and Ukitake met during their Academy days, Ukitake was a boku user and Shunsui was an ore user. Ukitake valued politeness and etiquette - he still does, even during the main arc - and as a young boy raised in a noble family, he would have been taught to speak politely and properly. He would use boku at this time in the same way that a character like Uryuu would - it’s polite, it’s correct, and it gives a small level of respectable deference to his peers. (Plus also, there’s no way anyone can convince me that little baby Juu-chan wasn’t all wide-eyed and cute when he entered the Academy, and cute, wide-eyed characters - think Deku from BNHA, Nagisa from Free!!, Rock Lee from Naruto if you want the super-extreme version haha - tend to use boku in anime and manga.) Shunsui, by contrast, was a too-cool-for-school slacker boy who liked chasing skirts and who had never had as much freedom at home as he’d wanted. While Shunsui never wanted to attend the Academy, I don’t doubt that he valued what little new freedom it gave him.

See below:

Also, if this doesn’t look like the face of a smug-ass ore user, then I don’t know what does:

We know that Shunsui and Ukitake met at the Academy and became friends. We also know that, during the main plot, Shunsui uses the pronoun boku and Ukitake uses the pronoun ore. It may not line up completely perfectly when all is said and done, but simply put, my headcanon is this: As Shunsui and Ukitake spent more time together as friends and learned more about themselves as they grew older, they slowly switched personal pronouns.

This happened for several reasons.Ukitake ’s story is pretty straightforward - you see multiple young protagonists switch from boku to ore over the course of their respective anime (such as Shinji Ikari from NGE and Simon from Gurren Lagann, for example). This shift usually implies that a character has grown up, or has grown more confident - and I figure that’s exactly what happened to Ukitake. He entered the academy as a bright, young boy with a lot of physical challenges to overcome, and probably a lot of self-doubt, but through six years of training and education, and six years of friendship with a lunk like Shunsui, he slowly began to gain confidence - enough that, by the time he entered the Gotei proper, he was ready to claim ore as his pronoun of choice.

Shunsui’s journey was probably a little more roundabout. Shunsui is a strange guy, and he stands out. He’s different from those around him, and attending the Academy probably highlighted those differences. He’s smarter than almost everyone he interacts with, for one thing, and there’s a duality about him that most people don’t experience firsthand - the key aspect being that he’s a male-presenting person with a female-presenting zanpakutō spirit, which is, I think, indicative of many other dualities that exist inside him. My guess is that, at first, Shunsui tried to hide a lot of his complexities, and to present himself as a boring, straightforward, oh-hey-I-like-slacking-off-and-chasing-girls kind of guy, and using the pronoun ore was a quick, easy, uncomplicated shortcut that helped that image. But as Shunsui began to grow closer to Ukitake, I’m sure that he began to letUkitake see the many dualities within him - whether he intended to or not. Ukitake, being the kind soul he is, embraced these parts of Shunsui. He told Shunsui that it’s okay to be complicated, that it’s okay to be strange - that it’s even okay to be a little messed up inside. That it’s okay to be who you are, even if it isn’t what people expect, or ask of you.

So, in short! The headcanon goes like this:

When they first met during their Academy days, Ukitake’s pronoun of choice was boku, and Shunsui’s was ore. As they became friends and moved through the Academy together, Shunsui helped Ukitake’s confidence grow, and Ukitake helped Shunsui towards self-acceptance in general. By the time they graduated the Academy - or perhaps shortly thereafter - Ukitake’s pronoun of choice had shifted to ore (Shunsui’s former pronoun of choice) and Shunsui’s pronoun of choice had shifted to boku (Ukitake’s former pronoun of choice). These pronoun shifts reflect Shunsui’s and Ukitake’s growth, both as individuals and as friends.

Phew! Welp, uh - that got longer than I anticipated it would. But it’s a personal favorite headcanon of mine, and I haven’t ever had an excuse to share it publicly, so - thanks for giving me the excuse I needed, Anon! I had fun writing this up - hope you had fun reading it, too!

Ask me about myShunsui headcanons!

I’m not drunk anymore btw because yaboi can’t do that two nights in a row lol - I hope this was still fun anyway!!

[asuma-kousuke-pics]

Ramblings about Kousuke

Okay so I’m a little hesitant to do this, since it actually goes into some pretty personal stuff of mine but... I really can’t hold back an outpouring of love for Kousuke if I tried so... Here goes.  (Please note: I do mention some of my own personal mental health stuff here so, if anyone isn’t comfortable with that, please feel free to skip this post. I promise we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled Kousuke pictures and videos very soon, especially as I have content from yesterday’s stream).  Also forgive my flowery way of talking. I’m a writer at my core, and sometimes that really, really shows. 

 2015 was, as some already know, the year of the very first Engeki Haikyu!! And the start of a certain someone's career on stage.

At this point I hadn't even heard of Haikyu (though, perhaps I had vaguely spotted the manga on our bookshelves at work, but it was a section I rarely paid much attention to), let alone any of the characters and certainly none of actors playing them on stage.

Within the space of two years however, things would change very rapidly and, eventually lead me in that oddly destined way that life seems to unfold for me, to that one certain actor, Asuma Kousuke.

 Fast forward just a little, to early 2016. After a difficult year previously (and some of my lowest lows yet), I was finally on good tracks again.  I was in a good place. And apparently, I was ready to embrace a brand-new obsession.

Anime and manga.

 I hadn't intended to fall quite so face first, but I guess we all know what that's like. 

I remember, very distinctly seeing a video pop up on my timeline on twitter. Pretty sure most people have seen it. That one where all the members of Engeki Haikyu come up to the camera, in character and say a few things and generally play around. Yeah, that one. I saw that and, though I didn’t even really know Haikyu very well yet, I knew vaguely enough to know where they were from. And I got /that/ feeling. I often talk about fate and destiny and for the most part I probably sound pretty silly, but my instincts are usually right. I remember thinking, ‘… one of you is going to end up being very important. I don’t know which one, and I don’t know in what way. But one of you. Definitely.’

That was the very first time I saw Kousuke. And at that point, I had no idea how right that thought of mine would end up being. Especially since at that point I didn’t even know the name Oikawa Tohru, let alone knowing Asuma Kousuke. But… The wheels were in motion, even then.

 By the end of 2016 I’d fully gotten into Haikyu. I was still wavering on my favourite character at that point, but leaning more and more towards Nishinoya (who in the end has stuck as my favourite, not that I think many people know that!), but the series itself in general had utterly won my heart. Yet, still, apart from the brief glimpses of images and clips I still knew very little about the stage play. Occasionally I’d see a gif or picture and marvel at how perfect everyone looked and how well they captured the characters but mostly I was just interested in the anime.

Then Kuroko no Basuke happened. And… That series would need a whole piece of writing for itself... For reasons I won’t go into here.  But this is when I saw images of the Kuroko no Basuke stage play. And this is where I caught my first sight of the person who was due to really set everything in motion. Kuroba Mario. Instantly blown away by how incredibly perfectly Mario depicted my golden boy Kise. I started looking into the stage and realised the production wasn’t far enough in to feature Akashi yet. For now, I still looked at the stage plays as something else that went on, but I didn’t really get involved in.

 But it was only a couple of months before this would all change.

 In that wonderfully complicated way that life likes to move in, I ended up making friends with someone who was a big fan of Mario. And, since they were a fan of both Kise and Oikawa, I ended seeing a little more of Kousuke too.

And then, quite suddenly I found myself looking more and more into Mario, and realising that actually, yes, I did adore him quite a lot. I also presented Kousuke to my dearest Mei, knowing that Oikawa is her favourite from Haikyu (well… Him and Hinata. So obviously once we got going Kenta would become pretty prominent, but we had a little way to go before that yet.)

Yep. The truth that I think Mei thinks I forget. I did originally present Kousuke to her as ‘her boy’. But me being the natural researcher and ever one to keep digging once I get interested in something, it didn’t take long before I was coming back like ‘uhhh…… so….?? Share?’ I’m lucky that she is much, much better at sharing than I am.

Within days both Mario and Kousuke were popping up everywhere I could possibly talk about them. My phone slowly filling up with images and gifs. First of them as Kise and Oikawa, and then slowly branching into other roles, and then of them themselves. Mario had charmed me completely. But I hadn’t quite realised how much impact Kousuke was having until about two weeks in. Incidentally it was my birthday that I decided I’d finally go tracking down the boys social media pages. It was still Mario I followed first on both Instagram and twitter, but Kousuke was immediately after that. What I hadn’t counted on was a sudden relapse of something I hadn’t had to think of for a while.

That bad year I mentioned in 2015? That was when my anxiety and OCD was at it’s peak. That was the year I let things get so bad, but that I was finally able to recognise that I needed help and, thankful to say, I got it. It was tough, but it was worth it to get the other side of it. I’d been free from those kinds of thinking, for the most part ever since I’d gotten into anime and manga. The odd spike thanks to Attack on Titan (…. Worst series to be into when you have anxiety disorder + a favourite character right?), but mostly I’d been good. Maybe focusing on anime characters was easier than focusing on real people. I guess it was.

 It was while I was quite happily scrolling through Kousuke’s twitter account (mostly with the help of google translate, my Japanese was extremely limited at that point), that it happened.

It’s hard to explain, as I guess most things are when it comes to matters dealing with how a mind works, but I remember that cold feeling creeping up on me. An old kind of fear that I’d used to live with constantly. And with it, the cogs in my brain working overdrive. A panic, realising this was a resurgence of something that had trapped me so long. My brain terrified of something, and it hurriedly trying to come up with ways to prevent it. I can’t speak more specifically because, even if at the time my brain thought it had something specific to fear, it usually is more abstract than that. Awful timing to happen on my birthday, huh? But. This time, I had the tools to deal with it. And, while it was scary, I was able to breathe and calm down and not let these intrusive thoughts take over. Within a couple of hours I was smiling, and kinda laughing a little. In a way it was my brain’s way of telling me THIS BOY!! VERY IMPORTANT!! MUST PROTECT!! So. I guessed there was no point denying how very much Kousuke had taken over my world by then. So I accepted it, with ever gaining relish.

 Now I often and quite happily declare Kousuke to be one of the very best things to have happened to me. One of my most prized possessions is my copy of his photobook, which my dearest Mei bought me for Christmas. It’s precious to me for many reasons. But mostly because it’s one item I can constantly count on to help manage my anxiety. It’s partly the distraction of focusing on something else, partly Kousuke’s smiling face and partly… Just that particular warm feeling I get from Kousuke. If things seem difficult to deal with, or I notice a spike in my anxiety, by the time I’ve made my way through Pop Step Jump I’m a little calmer. And feeling a little bit stronger.

 Kousuke makes me so happy, and I recognise and am so grateful for everything he does for his fans. I’m proud to be part of his fanbase, even if I can’t properly communicate with all of them (I promise, I’m learning as fast as I can!) Kousuke has one of the nicest, warmest and sweetest fanbases I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. You guys are so lovely. And I can’t thank you enough for how unendingly sweet you are to Kousuke. As someone who’s been in too many fanbases that like to tear their own idols to pieces, this is the most heart-warming place to be. My learning of Japanese has picked up at least tenfold since I started following him. From my stubbornness at still watching videos and interviews without subtitles, and of course Kousuke’s many live streams, I’ve found my understanding growing, even if it’s not exactly perfect. I’ve become bolder in my replies to Kousuke on twitter at including Japanese as well as English. I like to think he sees my improvement over time. From someone who could just about type ‘おはよう’ and ‘おやすみ’ to some basic sentences, I also like to think any mistakes I do make will make him smile as he sees me trying my best.

 I won’t say my anxiety never picks up again. I especially get concerned about missing live streams to the point I think I’ve accidentally made myself ill on occasion. This may sound selfish of me, but this is my inferiority complex at work, and the fear of not doing enough. Please be assured, the standards I set for myself are in no way standards I place on anyone else. I only EVER expect these things from myself, no one else. In fact, I’ll probably think you better than me no matter what. I always want to do as much as humanly possible for Kousuke. That’s probably the only way my anxiety manifests with Kousuke, which, if you’d known me in years past, is actually pretty impressive.

 It’s hard to sum up when I’ve already said so much, and yet so much still feels unsaid. I hope I’ve gotten across at least some of the love and adoration I have for Kousuke. Of how he came into my life, and made it better. How he’s made me stronger and happier in many ways. And how I hope to keep on supporting him, the best ways I know how to. I truly, truly hope I get to thank him in person one day (even if there’s no way I could possibly convey it all, but that’s okay). 

 大好き遊馬くん, ありがとうございます。

And thank you anyone who took the time to read this. ♥ Back to your regularly scheduled posts very soon! - Aka. 

[rigelmejo]

March Progress Updates, and April Goals:

This hopefully will not get to long. Progress made in March.

Chinese progress:

Chinese novel chapters read in March: 64 (most are 寒舍, these chapters average at 10 pages on my phone compared to the usual 20, so also for size comparison’s sake this is equal to around 32 20-page chapters... still I think this is most chapters I’ve read in a month so far)

Chapters I studied with Listening-Reading Method: 4 (L-R to The Glass Maiden, Love and Redemption’s novel. I only did it as I felt like it though... and as usual the way audio didn’t line up to chapter endings made it hard, so next time I do L-R I’m still planning on Guardian or Silent Reading. That said, this amounted probably 2+ hours of audio. Currently on The Glass Maiden: chapter 5, Audio 12)

Chinese shows watched: 10. (At the beginning of this month I was watching Word of Honor and Killer and Healer raw, until english subs came out. I did well enough to follow the plot so yay I plan to take advantage of that next time I can’t wait for subs ToT but I still don’t catch nuance super well so the eng subs I still picked up new stuff... related to this I definitely think I could rewatch Guardian in chinese only now, if I wanted to pay attention to the chinese lines/wording, especially since that plot I know well already. A big part of why I’m missing some nuance is usually the first watch I’m trying to catch all the plot so some things go over my head, then if I rewatched a woh or kah episode I caught more little line details)

Chinese Spoonfed Audio listened to: 11 (I was in the habit of walking and listening to one file per day, but then I twisted my ankle lol ToT. I would love to just... finish these files. That said they make great chill practice/review)

Japanese progress:

Japanese Audio Lessons: 1 (I was trying to do something with this - very good resource - but ended up not focusing on it).

Japanese KH Let’s Play watched: 6 (so 30 minute to 1 hour lets play videos, where I listened and looked up words as desired in jisho.org. I also watched a few random things like Ratchet and Clank I found in japanese lol, but I’m only counting this cause its what I watched for a decent length of time and paid attention to)

Tae Kim’s Grammar Guide, lessons read: 10 (I’m almost done with part 1 which has 11 lessons - i think the guide has 3 main parts. I’m trying to read ahead of doing the Nukemarine deck’s tae kim relevant portions)

Nukemarine Memrise decks: finished LLJ 3 - Kanji, 289/318 finished in LLJ 4 Tae Kim part 1. (Ideally I would like to get done LLJ 4 part 2, LLJ 5 before I start trying to PLAY a video game in japanese again. LLJ 4 parts cover beginner grammar, and LLJ 5 is 1000 common words. Long scale ideally, I would like to finish Nukemarine’s first 8-10 decks, since I think that sets a good foundation and utilizes all the main parts of it - the rest is like more in depth intermediate/advanced niche stuff. From there I’d like to just go back to immersing, maybe read my 2 textbooks that focus on Japanese Reading eventually. The short term goal this month was to do the OLD stuff I’ve done in these decks years ago, and surpass it. Which I DID. As of this month I’ve gone farther in the Nukemarine decks than I did last time I studied japanese or tried to play japanese games/read manga. So good job mejo! ToT You are officially studying new material. I’m not... in the most flashcard mood ever, and not really in the mood to read Tae Kim very much... but doing those 2 things has been the most effective study this month so its what I ended up doing)

So yeah... made some decent progress this month. As usual I did not do what I expected to do. I REALLY really thought in February or March I’d finally Listen Reading Method go through Guardian but lol... still hasn’t happened. That said, I found files for all of Silent Reading’s audiobook and Guardian’s audiobook I already had (and because of how avenuex made it - the chapters LINE UP perfect with the text). So I am prepared to L-R a priest book I love whenever the motivation finally hits.

Reading has been going a lot better than I ever could have expected. And I did try a few pages of a few other novels - I still have many words to learn lol. The second I switched to a new novel my words I had to look up increased a LOT. That’s good in a way though, it means the next novel I go to will teach me a lot too. At the moment, I plan to kind of just stick to hanshe - and probably this author - for a while. At least as far as intensive reading where I look up each word. The ease of reading feels good and I’m not ready to give that up quite yet (I will be once I get invested in a new story tho probably lol). I have also been slowly extensively reading Guardian, and if I do pick books for extensive reading they’ll likely be priest ones for now. Just because I have english translations available to reference and read first, and I’m familiar with priest’s writing style, so its an extensive reading material I can pick up a lot of words from context when I read. This past month Guardian was the only novel I really extensively read a bit - and with the eng translation to help, it went well. 

I also checked HSK words this month, and my brain forgot 100-200 HSK 4 words, and like half of HSK 5. Its not an issue right now since I’m studying to read and watch shows, not to pass an HSK test. But its something I should keep in mind. I got tempted to go through HSK flashcards but... genuinely I need to separate my study activities if I intend to focus and make progress. When I’m doing flashcards for chinese AND japanese I just end up giving up and doing none. The only time study methods don’t seem to interact is when its immersion, since i don’t have to ‘progress’ through material I just have to choose to do ‘some random thing’. (So no lesson 1-10 etc that I must do in order, just any random video or chapter read counts).

So in light of that, my April Study Plan I would like to be mostly the same. Will it work out that way, who knows? But Ideally:

Chinese April Plan:

Read chinese chapters. (intensively - hanshe or X, extensively optional - Guardian probably)

Try to Listen Reading Method a bit (probably Guardian, or Silent Reading)

Optional - continue listening to Chinese Spoonfed Audio (would be nice to get into the 20s)

Optional - watch some shows in chinese (realistically I predict that if 2ha’s Immortality drops in April I will 100% be doing this if english subs aren’t immediately available, and doing as many eps as needed so this count could well be 10-20 eps lol by the end of April. but if english subs are then I probably will be too busy to bother watching anything with chinese subs only. this activity is highly dependent of if i will have a reason to)

Related - read through Guardian and/or Silent Reading in english (while this is not directly studying at ALL, the more of these I read the less I’ll avoid ‘L-R’ since the prep-work and time L-R takes will be shorter, also then it’ll be enjoyable refreshing instead of me trying to follow the plot for the first time... same with extensive reading, if i’ve read in english then the extensive reading is less mentally draining and less daunting and i tend to do it more... this past month my Guardian extensive reading was mainly just restrained by how much i’d read beforehand in english)

Yes, mainly big reading focus again, with optional activities where I might listen more. L-R would ideally work great alongside me reading, just because then I’d be practicing both listening skills and reading.

Japanese April Plan:

Continue reading Tae Kim’s Grammar Guide (would be nice to get through at least 10 more lessons)

Continue through Nukemarine LLJ decks (intense goal is to get through LLJ 4-part 1, LLJ 4-part 2, and LLJ 5... though I would be floored and happy if I just get a few hundred into LLJ 5...)

Optional - try to play some Nier in japanese at end of month (dream goal is I get through enough of Nukemarine by the end of April to play the game getting remastered IN japanese TOO but. That’s probably a pipe dream lol. I’m getting the remastered Nier at end of April and if its like Automata then it’ll come with both language options, and it would be very cool to have an english and a japanese save file...although the language is ??? since its like sci fi fantasy so if its hard i might not play it long... but just to have a foundation enough to even play it a little would be cool. I could always play KH2 if i feel like maybe i have hope lol)

Optional - watch more japanese lets plays (fun, easy, why not)

Bolded is what I really PLAN to do in April. But we will see lol.

[ribbonstrawberrysurprise]

Ribbon vs. Reborn

This is one of those big TMM translation arguments.

I guess I’ve already taken a side due to my url...

Putting that aside for now, why is there a debate over the first word of the Mew Mew’s attack names? And does one option have more evidence?

The Mew Mew’s attacks all* begin with リボーン (ribōn/riboon/riboun). 

*except sometimes Pudding in the manga

Japanese syllables (except for “n”) cannot end in a consonant, so foreign words written in katakana try to sound sort of like the original pronunciation without violating that rule. Sounds like “or” and “ar” in English usually become an “o” or “a” sound held for twice the normal length (sort of like the British pronunciation).  For example, “star” would be broken down into su-ta-a, and written as スター, with “ー” meaning to hold the vowel longer.

This means that the typical translation for リボーン is reborn.

“Ribbon" would more typically be written as  リボン (ribon).

However, the “ ー ” in katakana just means that the vowel at the end of a syllable is held longer, not why it is held longer. So,  リボーン could be reborn, said normally, or ribbon, with the “bon” part held for a dramatically long time (i.e., Ribboooooooon, Strawberry Check!).

Like it is in the anime.

So, which was intended?

Unfortunately, as far as I know the attack names have never been written in English on any official Japanese merchandise or publication, and there’s no word from Mia Ikumi or Reiko Yoshida.

So what about the official English?

Both official English translations (Tokyopop and Kodansha) used Ribbon for the attack names. However, the Tokyopop translation is known to have seriously mistranslated lots of katakana and been incredibly inconsistent with attack and weapon names.

Kodansha is definitely better, but they still couldn’t get Quiche until a la Mode.

So, both versions of the English manga think it’s ribbon, but neither is infallible when it comes to translating names in katakana.

What about the anime?

Well, Mew Mew Power used entirely different attack names, so it and any dubs based on it won’t be helpful. Of the dubs listed on the TMM wiki, 5 were based on the original Japanese: Korean, Mandarin, Cantonese, Thai, and Italian. Of these, the Cantonese cuts out Ribbon/Reborn entirely, and the Korean and Thai transliterate ri-bo-o-n into Hangul and Thai script, respectively.

The Mandarin dub definitely uses ribbon because that part of the attack is written in English.

...but there are obviously some other issues. I can honestly see how サプライズ (sapuraizu) was misunderstood as スプライセス (supuraisesu) and ラッシュ (rasshu) as ズラッシュ (zurasshu), but you’d think someone would check the meaning of the English words...

The Italian dub actually uses Italian for the attacks rather than transliterating the original Japanized English. The wiki lists Ichigo’s Italian attack as “Ribbon of Light,” but this is misleading. Mew Berry’s attack in Mew Mew Amiche Vincenti is “Fiocco di Luce,” which would more accurately translate to Bow of Light. Her weapon is “Fiocco del Cuore,” (Bow of the Heart/The Heart’s Bow). Mew Mina uses ���Cuore di Mina” (Mina’s Heart), and her attack is “Fiocco d'Azione” (Bow of Action). The other Mews’ are along the same lines as Mina. This isn’t really a use of ribbon, but it definitely suggests that the translators interpreted the original attacks as using “Ribbon” when coming up with the Italian ones.

So, the dubs and English manga seem to generally like “Ribbon”. Why then, is there a debate?

Aside from the fact that リボーン is translated as “reborn” in every other context, “Ribbon” is a totally random word that doesn’t seem related to any of the attacks or even the Mews in general. Admittedly, “Check” also seems totally random, but the other words at least seem vaguely suggestive of the attack or the Mew’s attitude. “Ribbon” is a random cute word, whereas “Reborn” is thematic.

There’s a lot of rebirth/resurrection in TMM, usually due to Mew Aqua.

Deep Blue is reborn as Masaya, a bird is reborn to show off the power of the Mew Aqua, everyone in Tokyo (the world?) except Ichigo is reborn due to the final Mew Aqua, then Masaya and Ichigo revive each other due to love (and possibly residual Mew Aqua).

The anime underplays this by specifying that the bird in ep. 21 was only injured, but it’s more explicit about the main characters’ deaths in the last few episodes. 

Either way, “Reborn” makes sense thematically because the Mews’ power seems somehow tied to Mew Aqua (e.g., it reacts when they’re close).

So, “Reborn” is thematic, but “Ribbon” is a cuter word (always a concern for girls shows) that’s probably more familiar to the target audience. After all, the loanword ribon is a term used day-to-day to refer to stuff like hair ribbons, whereas riboun is not very common*. Official translations favor “Ribbon,” but none of them are flawless translations, and all of them are influenced by previous translation choices (e.g., the Tokyopop translation influenced fansubbers, who influenced the fandom, who influenced the Kodansha re-translation). 

* It’s become more well-known due to the Reborn! manga/anime, but those came out after 2002, when the TMM anime takes place.

Choosing between them seems like more of a matter of personal preference, but I think choosing just one is unnecessary. 

(EVERYTHING PAST THIS IS HEADCANON)

How did the Mew weapons, etc. get named? (In universe, so Ikumi/Yoshida is the wrong answer.) 

Presumably either Keiichiro or Ryou designed and named everything themselves. We know that they at least created the Mewberry Rod because Ryou gives it to Ichigo in episode 15, and it can’t be that different from the other weapons because Ichigo summons it by default from then on.

Ryou is intelligent but has no people skills.

His idea of a fun nickname is “biological weapon”.

Ryou cannot have named the weapons or attacks because they aren’t something like “Chimera Disintegration Beam”. Keiichiro, who is used to smoothing things over when Ryou offends someone and is at the very least capable of designing cakes, is a much better candidate for the designer/namer of the weapons, outfits, cafe, etc.

It’s also possible they outsourced it since we know they don’t work entirely alone. I don’t want to go through the whole series right now, but I’m pretty sure the anime mentions them getting results from a lab a few times, and Mary McGuire at least seems to know Ichigo’s secret identity. (Also, why else were they hosting a party if not to gather/recruit members of the project?)

Regardless, I think Ryou pushed for something too scientific or unappealing and person B compromised with something that the average Japanese elementary or middle school student wouldn’t hate. Thus “Reborn” to get him to agree, but secretly “Ribbon”.

To explain/justify that, let’s consider the name of the Mew Project. 

ミュウ (myū/myuu) is a slightly irregular spelling of  ミュー , which can refer to the cat sound “mew” but also to the Greek letter “Μ” or “μ” (mu) which is pronounced the same way. The symbol μ is used to represent the mutation rate of a gene in genetics research, and the Mew Project is sometimes written as the μ-Project in the anime.

Greek letters also show up in a manga illustration.

(In case you’re wondering, horizontally is an attempt at “Ichigo Momomiya” and vertically is an attempt at “Tokyo Mew Mew”)

There’s no way that no one noticed that μ is both scientifically appropriate and a cat pun. Similarly, there’s no way no one noticed that “Reborn” sounds like “Ribbon”. Considering all of the weapon names are already puns, it should come as no surprise that the names of other things are puns as well.

I think that whoever named them (probably Keiichiro) always intended them to be both at once. So, both μ-Ichigo and Mew Ichigo, both Reborn and Ribbon. Ryou would approve of the first and either not notice the second until too late or grudgingly agree that it makes an okay cover for a cafe name

Out of the Mews, only Zakuro might know the Greek alphabet and possibly be aware of its use in genetics. Theoretically all of them might have the English knowledge from school to get both “ribbon” and “reborn,” but Ichigo “I am a Ichigo” Momomiya is not great at English. She definitely knows the word for hair ribbons though, because she uses it in episode 1 (about 3 min. in, “Arrhh! The ribbon snapped!”). Ichigo is also one who officially names the team “Tokyo Mew Mew” to the press, and even Ryou ends up using that name eventually, despite reacting negatively when he first hears it. Since that name gets accepted as official both in and out of universe, I feel like Ichigo’s interpretations of all the names should be the “official” ones unless specifically talking about Ryou and Keiichiro’s research. 

So, both options are correct depending on the circumstance (e.g. Ichigo talking vs. Ryou talking, official Project report vs. news broadcast), but Mew and Ribbon should be the default.

tl;dr, 

Ryou tells μ-Ichigo about her attack, Reborn Strawberry Check.

Mew Ichigo tells the media about her attack, Ribbon Strawberry Check.

Keiichiro has once again saved the day using people skills and puns.