#i hope this is good for you and you've been an absolute delight and honour to know for as long as i have

[endless-ineffabilities]

the only intermission (Ewan Mitchell x f!reader)

a/n: this is a direct result of my wishing that Ewan would do a play here in London so I can watch him. So, here you go <3

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You and Ewan share a moment during intermission.

The play's intermission is under way, with twenty minutes of reprieve for the actors and the audience. Bethany had gone to the bar to grab a drink with Harry, and somehow, to Ewan's obvious delight, he was able to corner you out in the foyer.

The two of you stand at a semi-secluded spot away from the main doors, clear of the passage into the theatre.

"So, what do you think of it so far?" Ewan leans against the wall, trying to look as nonchalant as possible, and hoping you didn't notice that he kept shuffling closer to you.

There had been a two-foot distance, which became one, after he said something along the lines of—Wait, I can't hear you, say that again?—even though you are well away from the bustle.

And now, his arm is close enough to brush against yours as you respond, "I really enjoyed it. Emma's absolutely brilliant! I mean, the whole cast is amazing, but Emma's a standout for me."

"For me as well," Ewan agrees. He's mesmerized by the way you beam in enthusiasm.

"I wanted to ask you if you've ever done a play? I think you would be really good at it!"

Ewan feels the heat rush to his cheeks. "Really? No, I haven't been in a play yet—"

"Well you should!" You touch his forearm lightly. For but a second. He wishes you hadn't let go.

"Should I?"

"I wouldn't lie to you, Ewan," you say, smiling and tilting your head. Is this flirting?

Can you do it some more?

"If you say so." He tries to match your tone. "Will you be there to watch me when I do?"

"Am I invited to press night?"

Either his own desires are fooling him, or you shuffle closer to him this time.

"You'll be front and centre, darling."

You nod in appreciation. "Well, I would be honoured. You know, if they do another rendition of Romeo and Juliet, you should go for the part of Romeo."

He laughs lightly, and before he can stop himself, he blurts out, "Only if you would be Juliet."

Your face contorts in apparent confusion. "But... I'm not an actress."

His smile drops, thinking that his attempt at flirtation flew right over your head.

"No, darling—" he stammers. "I, I just meant—"

You throw your head back, giggling to yourself. "Ohhh, you make it too easy!"

He can't help but join you, the trill of your shared laughter echoing in your little corner of the room.

"You're mean," he clicks his tongue, his voice lowering.

"Hmm. So do you still want to take me out?"

You most definitely move closer to him. He sees it clearly, and he mirrors your motion, gently brushing his fingers along the side of your face.

There is a moment of static, electrifying tension. His eyes are drawn down to your lips, which part slightly.

But it all dissipates when the usher's booming voice cuts through, announcing that the play is to resume in five minutes.

You sigh. "We should head back inside."

No. Not yet. Would Bethany be cross with him if he asks to switch seats so he can be close to you for the next hour?

He feels silly—he can't even wait until after the play.

"Hold on," he says, grabbing your hand when you start to turn away. "I do still want to take you out."

"Oh," you smile sweetly. "Great." You glance around quickly, likely checking if Bethany already went back inside. "We'll talk after the play?"

"Yes, please, darling," he exhales, giving your hand a squeeze. Why can't plays have hour-long intermissions? Maybe you wouldn't be averse to just walking out of there and having that date way sooner than expected.

There will be plenty of other nights to watch the play anyway.

"Come on," you tug at his hand, tilting your head toward the entrance. "Time to go, handsome."

You hold on to his hand, and a shiver runs down his spine, your touch sending a surge of warmth through him.

Your skin feels so soft. And you called him handsome.

As you merge back into the crowd, shuffling toward the doors, he leans in close. "You know," he whispers, "when we go on our date, there won't be any intermissions like this."

"You won't need a break from me? I can be annoying, you know," you tease, raising an eyebrow.

He chuckles softly, his gaze holding yours. "I think I can handle it, beautiful."

You blush, lowering your head. He feels pleased with himself.

He continues, "Besides, I have a feeling you'll keep me on my toes."

On his toes, on his knees, on his back—whatever position you want him in.

Oh, he's going to hell.

[ineffabildaddy]

Hi sam! since the new year is approaching rapidly, i wanted to ask my favorite creators (that includes you! your fics and your posts delight me) how they look back on their 2023 tumblr year and which blogs made them happy to be here. i am very happy to follow you and hope you'll have a great 2024! 💘

hi!!! thank you so so much for this, a few months ago i couldn't even imagine being so active in the tumblr community again, let alone anyone's favourite anything!!!!

i've been very fortunate to receive the warmest of welcomes back to tumblr after a 7-year absence, and i've received so much support for my writing (and my shitposts lol) that this whole experience of finally joining the good omens fandom has genuinely given me a newfound confidence in my creative self, and in myself as a whole💙

in terms of the blogs that make me happy to be here... they are many!!! i shall put the rest of this post under the cut

@raining-stars-somewhere-else thank you for being my first go friend and now one of my closest buddies!!! i can't wait for us to finally write that fic together (lol) and for us to get up to some irl london shenanigans at some point✨ ur hilarious and kind and so correct about literally everything and i love u. literally everyone needs to read ur posts bc they're so well-thought out and unique. also your fics are really moving and human (even though they're about crowley and aziraphalekldfjgjl) and i adore them

@sad-chaos-goblin we literally just Get Each Other, same brain and all, and i absolutely love it!!! i couldn't ask for a better horny consultant bc after all it is Our Pornography™. you're also just an extremely understanding, open and lovely person, not to mention very fun and exciting to be friends with hehe. ur headcanons are so fucking interesting (and sometimes sad, how dare u do this to me) and i'm looking forward to hearing more when u eventually get round to writing all those fics you've got ideas for<3

@foolishlovers i'm really really happy we've got to know each other better over the past couple weeks!!!!! your xmas fic is one of my absolute favourite fics ever and i'm in awe with your skill and craft, i hope to write something as well-rounded and enjoyable as that someday<3 also you're one of my favourite posters, so fucking funny and u just make points left right and centre. i hope we can share our writing and our thoughts about life in general more in 2024!!!

@crowleyslvt i'm very happy i barged my way into your dms to be horny on main bc i definitely wouldn't've explored half the things i've explored in my writing if not for our discussions and your encouragement!!! i absolutely love talking writing and sexy headcanons with you, but above that i love that i'm now mates with such a talented, considerate, hilarious kiwi lad. i am honoured to be one of the little guys in ur phone who gets to hype up u as an exceedingly great porn writer but also as a legend in general

@voluptatiscausa no one understands my feralness for michael sheen like you do. i can go batshit insane in the dms over ms and dt with u and that space is important to me dlgkljdgldfjgl. i'm really glad i started reading ur writing this year bc it's very enjoyable, but it's also healing for me as a person who's [whispers] a traumatised and cripplingly shy person in terms of sex lmao. thank you for bestowing it upon ao3, and by extension, upon me!!!! also tho, you're a really nurturing and interesting friend to have, not to mention a Very Cool one so continue to be that pls and thanks

@bowtiepastabitch i've felt very honoured to hear about parts of your life as you share them with me - Knowing The Lore is so important to me and i'm humbled that you've trusted me with some of the stuff that's been happening in your world<3 on another note, your fanart may be quick but it's never shitty, it's always so expressive and fun and gets my brain Thinking Thoughts. i can't express how wonderful it was when you made a wee bit of fanart for one of my fics, and i hope i continue to see ur creativity shine✨

thank you to my favourite blogs for Existing Throughout 2023 (some of whom i know i can call friends, and the rest of whom i'd like to call friends in the future!!!) @sabotage-on-mercury @crowleys-bentley-and-plants @ineffableigh @celestialcrowley @queer-reader-07 @crowleyraejepsens @teddybearbutchh @crowleyholmes @ineffable-rohese @createserenity @quoththemaiden @procrastiel @sentientsky @genderqueer-hippie @beelzzzebub @lineffability @fellshish @greenthena @brainwormcity @opscuritas @tangerine-ginger @iammyownproblematicfave @crikey01 @crawley-fell @vroomvroomwee @bildads-shoes @shoemakerobstetrician @romansmartini @wraithee

i know i'll have forgotten people so i'll add em as i remember em hehehehe

[thespiritoflife]

Hey Domi! I just watched Beauty and the Beast last night and THIS SCENE RIGHT HERE reminded me of your blog. The final ballroom dance carries your energy, it's gorgeous and bright!! I hope you're feeling good today and that the weather was absolutely delightful on your end! 💕💕💕

Lots of love!!! xxx

hey frannie! i hope you've been amazing as amazing you are! <3

aww, stoop! you're making me blush! that scene is so beautiful and so romantic and i am HONOURED it reminds you of me! i love that movie, it's so beautiful!

thank you for making my day! don't worry, weather here is kinda good🌨 i hope you also have good weather!

i love you soo muuch, frannie! sending many many hugs to you! take care!!

[mythvoiced]

choo choo!!!!

LENA!!!!!!!!!!!! you are a precious gift to those who know you. you have such a beautiful and generous and giving heart and you are a fabulous friend. i'm so glad alex found you, and i'm so glad that i found you too!!! you are so talented and i love so much what you've built and also what you have with alex 🥺🥺 y'all have some good stuff and i'm honored i get to experience it

@astremourante | oh my god omgo oh dmog

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I’ve been staring at this for the past days because I didn’t KNOW HOW TO????  RESPOND BECAUSE IT’S JUST-- IT CAME SO OUT OF NOWHERE AND I was sitting, had just finished me breakfast, had just brushed me teeth, I’d thought to m’self, let me check if I’ve got any notifications, and I DO and IT’S THIS and I.. FGHJGHLK Ami the stUPID NOISES I STARTED MAKING, THIS WEIRD UGLY SQUEAK-WHIMPER ABOMINATION BECAUSE THIS IS SO KIND AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT PROMPTED THIS BUT I NEED YOU TO KNOW AMI THAT???? You are truly show-stopping and absolutely OUT OF THIS WORLD, took me a whole five seconds of talking to you AND reading some of your work for the first time (YEARS AGO because I saw you writing with Alex FOR A MINUTE, STANNING FROM AFAR) to START GOING SUPER  STOOPID OVER  YOU AND???? I CAN ABSOLUTELY SEE WHY ALEX WOULD BE SUCH A FAN OF YOU BECAUSE GUESS WHAT I AM TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like, I had a feeling you are absolutely Awesome as Heckity before getting to talk to you, BUT YOU’RE EVEN GREATER THAN THAT, AND I’VE LITE RALLY WRITTEN ONE (1)™ THING AGAINST YOU AS OF WRITING THIS AND I’M??? SO OBSESSED ALREADY IT’S SO MUCH FUN AND I’M SO DELIGHTED AND HONOURED I’M GETTING THIS OPPORTUNITY I’m so so SO SO SO HAPPY and excited and glad that I get to chit chat and talk with you now AND THANKS TO ALEX AS WELL who adores you so and speaks so highly of you AND SHE’S SO RIGHT and honestly, YEAH, I’m just, thank you so much for thinking so highly of me and THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME A CHANCE AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A MOST WONDERFUL TIME ALWAYS AND I AM SO SUPER EXCITED to get to get to know you ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

[neuxue]

Hi, neuxue......If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite “villains” (or antagonists) in MXTX works? Whether it’s a final boss like Jun Wu or more of a side character like Xue Yang. (Whether you want to do a ranking or just write out in no particular order)...Sorry if you've answered this question before....

If I don't mind??? If I don't mind? Please, my friend, you give me an opportunity to talk about favourite villains and I am yours for as long as you'll listen.

Not going to attempt to order them so we'll just go by story:

CQL

Xue Yang - characters who don't realise what they want, or that they've found a way to have it, until the moment when they destroy it!! Who destroy it because on some level they don't truly believe they can have it at all, and because it's easier to lose something when you can convince yourself you were always going to, and that it was your own choice. The whole time-bomb of Yi City just wrecks me.

I'm also generally here for his brand of competence and mercuriality - the knife-edged playfulness that doesn't quite mask a deeper darkness, the tendency to dance just a little too close to the edge with the particular carefree abandon of one who cannot imagine living beyond youth.

Finally... oh man do I even want to try to articulate this? So, he has several traits that often get used as a shorthand for not just ‘evil’ but ‘inherently evil’. Which... frustrates me. But with Xue Yang... yes, he's cast as a villain and yes he loses everything and yes he dies alone and unmourned... but there's a sense of 'it didn't have to go this way'. If the cart driver had been kinder; if his capability had been put to some use other than ‘weapon’. Or that moment in Yi City where he seems to delight just as much in cheating at a silly game of choosing sticks as he does in tricking Xiao Xingchen into killing people. This idea that there could have been another path. (And also, via Yi City, that he is not... inherently unlovable). His story ends in tragedy, but it’s not framed, at least the way I (choose to) read it, as ‘your story can only end in tragedy, because of the way you are’. It gives the option to read it as ‘you are not inherently monstrous’.

(Which then almost feeds back into the tragedy of the first point, because it’s only there in a kind of meta sense: Xue Yang himself? only ever receives the you are a weapon, you are a monster, that is all you can be side of it. Oh man okay I’ll stop here before I get pulled into a whole essay on this because suddenly I want to).

Jin Guangyao - I love a schemer! I love a pragmatist! I love ruthless competence beneath an inscrutable smile! I love characters who will tolerate nothing less than absolute perfection in themselves because they have learned the hard way that it’s the only possible way to survive. Characters who are not exempt from their own ruthlessness, their own cost-benefit analysis. Characters who have learned from their world that happiness must be sacrificed at the altar of survival, and who will do so with heartbreak but without hesitation when necessary. The only way is forward; to look back is to fail, but the irony is they can still never outrun their pasts.

Also he’s another one where there’s such a sense of it didn’t have to end this way. So many points at which things could have been different, so many alternate versions in which his capability could have been channelled towards a different goal, if the goal carved into his bones didn’t have to be survive, in a world that will try to make that impossible. 

I love villains and antagonists of all stripes and moralities, but in this instance what I love is a character who doesn’t want to be a villain, doesn’t want their hands stained with blood, doesn’t want to hurt those they love... but they do not see a choice. 

Wen Zhuliu - he’s highly competent and wears fingerless gloves; what more do you want from me?

Honestly though, he fascinates me. In part it’s the fact that we just don’t get much interiority to him, and only one exchange of dialogue that really suggests his motives, but we also get these little moments, that collectively build this sense of a kind of... lawful neutral, I suppose? Not even villain-by-necessity so much as villain-by-...debt? loyalty? But he also so clearly has such a strong sense of honour, and I just love trying to reconcile all of those pieces into a cohesive whole. 

The other thing that really gets me about him is his extraordinary power and how it’s regarded - especially when juxtaposed with Wei Wuxian’s. In both cases you have a single individual who holds a terrifying and mostly unique power that threatens or pushes the boundaries of their whole society and world. Wei Wuxian commands ghosts without a sword; Wen Zhuliu can extinguish someone’s power with his hands. But, crucially, the difference between them seems to be... that Wei Wuxian is a wildcard; Wen Zhuliu is leashed. And so I have to wonder once again at the strength of that leash, and at what would happen if Wen Zhuliu, like Wei Wuxian, decided to rebel. And in that whole question lives in this really interesting space of... what is it people truly fear? The power? The wielder? That person’s ability to choose? The uncertainty of what they will choose? The possibility of them realising they can?

***

TGCF

He Xuan - I mean the theme here obviously is competence, and He Xuan has a killer aesthetic to go with it, but mostly it’s just... the way his whole character is an exploration of revenge, and the line between vengeance and justice, and the question inherent in the irony of... throwing away the very thing you wanted vengeance for, in order to exact that vengeance.

(And also the whole cycle-of-revenge in doing unto another what was once done unto you, in the process of exacting that vengeance).

I’m just. Unbelievably here for a good betrayal story, and this one has it all! The intimacy! The self-betrayal! The emptiness and hunger!

And while with Xue Yang I love that moment of realising what he wants, or what he’s losing, only in the moment when he destroys it... with He Xuan what I love is that he goes into this, in so many ways, knowing what he’s doing. This is not spontaneity; this is the ultimate premeditation. He knows what he has, in his guise as a heavenly official. He knows, intimately, the person he is betraying. He has given great thought to the how of that betrayal. 

(Is it worth it, in the end?)

(After all, he’s still here)

Bai Wuxiang - one of the dynamics that will wreck me pretty much every time is what I like to call ‘intimate enemies’. Enemies-to-lovers can fit under that umbrella, but it’s a broader umbrella than just that. The idea of characters who (either one-sided or reciprocally) know each other so deeply, and can wield that knowledge to wound. The awful gentleness and precision of holding a knife to the core of someone’s identity. 

That, plus the identity fuckery in general. The way Bai Wuxiang frames himself as Xie Lian’s mirror, and the way he then reflects and warps and tugs at those pieces of Xie Lian’s self and name and will, trying to shape them in his image, but so gently. The way he talks to Xie Lian! The way he strokes his hair as he stabs him! It’s just so much, okay!

So yeah, a lot of it is that I’m just very into the highkey fucked-up dynamic he has with Xie Lian. But also Bai Wuxiang’s own story hits me in a kind of... if you’ll forgive a Wheel of Time reference: betrayer-of-hope betrayed-by-hope kind of way. That he tried so hard once, only for it to fall to ruin in his hands, and now he watches another try (and fail!) as he once did. And the way he seems to, in trying to mould Xie Lian’s present to his own past, be searching for a kind of... vindication? A confirmation of that inevitability? That of course he failed, that he could never have succeeded, because this is the nature of humanity, and it is not worth saving, and so his attempts weren’t failure. 

But the thing with that is: it’s a lose-lose situation. If he succeeds and Xie Lian fails, yes, it gives him that sense of ‘there was never another way, and no point trying to find one’ but is that really... winning? Is finding vindication in despair truly a success? And yet if he fails and Xie Lian succeeds, then does that not also feel like a sword to the heart: that it wasn’t inevitable, and that means he has to come to terms with his own failure and the heartbreak it wrought?

[magistralucis]

(You can keep this on private if you’d like, I just had to tell it somewhere. Apologies for my bad grammar or structure, English isn’t my first language)

Hello, I know you probably do not like to get asks anymore about your Swansong fanfiction, but I cannot express how thankful I am for all of your effort. It’s made me realize so many things about myself, and while that may sound funny, it is honest. I left the EDM community a long time ago, only now revisiting for the sake of nostalgia, but I remembered your blog very well. You were always my favorite one, as you reblogged more things I could take in, but that’s a good aspect! I recalled when you first started Swansong, I was so excited, since I saw your past works in those ask games, and I couldn’t be more thankful. It taught me so much, and I related to Sebastian’s story more than anything else in my life at the time. I listened to his music more intently, you gave it a new kind of life I couldn’t understand before, same goes with Kavinsky or Vincent’s music. I’ve loved your blog for years, and no matter what you post, or create, or write, I will be appreciative of it either way. Thank you! Keep being you!

- K Anon

Hello anon. On the contrary, I am absolutely delighted to receive this ask from you, in that you remember Swansong (I need to finish it!!!) and that I've been a source of nostalgia for you 😭💖 Your message could not have come at a more appropriate time. I'm honoured to be remembered after all those years, especially since it's been so hard finding a spark in the EDM fandom on tumblr recently.

To be honest, I've been really disappointed in my writing this year. Since the start of 2022, I've been struggling badly with the fact the world is a horrible place, and I fundamentally haven't been able to believe in any of my works that take a 'the-world-is-worth-living' approach - Swansong included, as well as my sideblog, and the many hundreds of thousands of words I put there. Most of my EDM stuff, even. I've felt fake, I've been really burned out, and I've felt unappreciated as fellow fans disappeared or moved on to other things.

Just wondered what the whole point of it was, really.

I think - I claim, still, that this is a temporary condition - but it was eating at me for the better half of this year. So to read your ask is a blessing. I can't stress enough how much this means to me, that people read this old tale of mine... one of my dearest ones, even... and they remembered it all this time, and still message me about it. I'm sorry I let Swansong lapse for so long. I am really happy you have had fond memories of it, and still do, and that it was a meaningful addition to your life. You've given me a little more hope towards carrying on. Rest assured I will always be here. Thank you very much.