#i hope this blue thing explodes jesus fuck why r u Like This die but also ma'am do ur lips taste like blueberry too can i test it out once

[wannaonestars]

soulmate! park jihoon

okay in this au you have the “you see color once you meet your soulmate”

and gOD do you hate this method you have because what the heck you’re a fashion and design major

your whole life you’ve been working with clothes in black and white and shades of gray and you had to bust your ass to get into the top university in seoul for fashion

whatever mythical being it was that gave you this curse basically said a massive fuck you to your hopes and dreams like rip

in middle and high school you would literally people-watch in different areas and different cities to meet your soulmate 

actually you didn’t give a fuck about who your soulmate was you just wanted to see color and work with it to produce high quality works

and end the shitty friend moments when you’re shopping with your pals and they go “hey should i get the blue shirt or the red one”

you: oh i don’t know andrea i think the slightly darker shade of fucking gray looks nicer

andrea: :DD

SO one weekend you’re looking around some stores in this mall and searching for inspiration for your next piece

and everything’s okay and in black and white as usual when suddenly you saw this??? strange shade???????? not in black or white???????

you’re SHOOK and immediately just start darting your eyes everywhere

and finally when your eyes land on a person at the men’s section of the store a burst of saturation and color splashes in front of you

and everything seems to have just...come to LIFE

you’re shaking because everything you see now feels like a new experience....colors that you can’t identify are everywhere you turn and you’re so EXCITED to learn the names of each

you turn to your “soulmate” person with tears ready to fall but suddenly

you: oh my sweet baby jesus

you: can his fashion sense be aNY SH I TT I E R

your jaw is like on the FLOOR and you’re absolutely appalled by the young man looking through some sweatshirts

in your mind you’re furiously criticizing all the choices he’s made and making 

you: why in the world would he pair that shirt with that vest

you: sweetheart that is one hell of a stupid hat you’re staring at

you: is he actually serious about picking that vest

you: what in the world did i ever do to deserve this

you’re fuming at this point and you’re ready to either stomp over and hit him on the head to get his senses back into place or walk away and pretend the meeting never happened

but then he turns around and sees you and when his eyes widen you know there’s no turning back

also you realize he’s really cute so

he walks over all shy with a hand rubbing the back of his neck and a suppressed smile to hide how excited he really is

he says “so....i guess.....we’re soulmates?” with pink steaming cheeks

it takes you like a few seconds to get over how utterly cute that was and the you’re like “yes. and your outfit is a disaster. how dare you.”

and that snaps jihoon out of his bashfulness and he’s just?? excUSE ME???? what the heck do you mean my shirt is suPER cute thank you very much

and you’re like SWEETHEART the design on that thing is utterly atrocious it doesn’t match your face at ALL

and that’s how you and your soulmate got into a huge argument in the middle of the store with ppl staring and taking pics

a few minutes later a middle aged man comes over and taps jihoon’s shoulder and says hey we gotta go you can’t stay here and act like this

jihoon glares at you before he turns around and leaves and you’re just HUFFS i hope i don’t see that kid ever again........

literally two hours later you friends spam your phone with articles about “Wanna One’s Park Jihoon’s Intense Argument With Mysterious Person”

you’re on the verge of crying after realizing you bickered with a massively popular idol and your friends are like “what kind of flowers do you want us to leave at your grave”

you couldn’t focus on anything for a week straight and you’re so scared of stepping outside and having people recognize you so you started wearing masks and sunglasses all the time

it hurt your fashion common sense to wear sunglasses while it was raining but you were too terrified

but good thing was!!! you learned the names of all the colors you could and developed this habit of differentiating even the slightest shade like “that’s not just bLUE that’s cornflower blue with a tint of turquoise on the lower right”

it would only be a matter of time before you start addressing colors by their html code name lmfao

anyways your friends are recognize that your works are becoming a lot better and the color mixing seem smoother and more elegant than before

they ask you if it's because you met your soulmate and beg you to introduce him but you know that they’d lose their shit and fall on their ass laughing if you tell them it’s actually the park jihoon you accused of having disgusting taste

you actually feel really sorry....like however much you hated the way he dressed you shouldn't have criticized him like that man

you start researching him online and you get really interested because damn he has such a nice face

in your head you could conjure so many different combinations of outfits that could work fantastically with him

a few weeks later wanna one is doing a fansign meet and greet thing and jihoon is smiling at every fan and holding their hands and thanking them for their gifts and doing his aegyo

and suddenly.....he sees YOU right in front of him with your deep blue hat and heavy trench coat to avoid being seen

he flinches at first but he can’t be rude so he fakes a smile and just goes...”hi”

and you’re like listen....i’m like seriously sorry for that fiasco back at the store..... and you proceed to apologize several times before he’s like okay!!! i got it you’re sorry

and then you take out the bag you’ve been holding and hand it to him

“here,” you say. “i included a booklet inside.”

and then you just rAN OUT OF THERE like you didn’t even talk to the rest of the members who’re looking at your back like wtf was that????

after their schedules end and they’re at their dorms jihoon takes out the bag you gave him and sees the booklet that read “ok i know i said sorry but please take a look at the clothes i picked out for u” 

he’s so ready to get pissed to see you STILL criticizing his choices but then he sees all the clothes inside and the different outfit combinations drawn and written in the booklet....and he’s sOLD like these are so pretty and cute???????

and he tries everything on and woojin is like whoa and guanlin probably gets gayer

jihoon wears one set for his airport fashion the next day and all his fansites basically explode bc he reached another level of stunning

and his stylists and managers are like????? what the heckie HECK

jihoon’s all smiles and stuff and he’s....really grateful to you.....

like when he met you and found out that you were his soulmate he never felt more crestfallen because the relationship already looked darker than woojin’s past

but now...he just really wants to meet you again and thank you....and maybe talk over a cup of coffee....and just be........a soft couple that he’s always wanted to be in..........

jihoon became the top search on naver for the whole week and became the reason for your smile

it’s the first time that your work has ever been “publicized” in any shape or form and you’re so glad it’s receiving such positive feedback

a while later you get an email during your lunch break 

and the sender is.....CJ E&M entertainment

they somehow figured out that you were the one who gave jihoon his clothes and discovered more of your works from blogs and stuff and now they want to hire you as a stylist for wanna one and the meeting date is....in three hours

you drop your cup of coffee and spRINT out of your university to catch a taxi cab

when you get to the meeting place at the company you realize that frick frack botta bing botta boom your hair’s a mess and you’re sweaty and you haven’t showered in three days due to your schedule and you’re in no way appropriate looking to be hired to be a person who’s in charge of making people look good 

but a staff sees you and is like!! come in!!!!! and you’re like welp it’s do or die

and the company manager and wanna one members are all in a private room waiting for you and the manager starts this speech about how he adores your sense of style and how all the members would be happy to have you as their stylist and how much they’re willing to pay you but the whole time you’re mostly sneaking glances at jihoon

you know how sometimes you would sneak glances at someone who just so happens to look at you at the exact same time and it gets awkward and then both of you would look away really fast

that happens so many time with you and jihoon but...the fourth time that it happens he stares back just three seconds longer than before

he blushes SO hard because of how daring of a move that was and starts fanning himself and beside him jisung is like??? it’s like 20 degrees in here what are you doing

and then the company manager says to you “usually we hire stylists who are married to prevent any kind of special relationship between them and the members...you’ll be an exception to our rule. but the second that we see something suspicious or that you’re violating that rule, then....well, you can guess what might happen.”

and you’re like wow what the heck so i’ll lose my job for getting together with my soulmate

and then the meeting is done and the manager goes to get you your id card and all the paperwork and everyone pre much disperses except for you and jihoon

it’s a bit awkward with both of you staring at the floor....and then you try to break the silence with “this sucks”

and jihoon laughs and just says “it’ll be fine” and he looks up at you and takes a deep breath and goes “give me your number before they come back”

his heart’s racing and he’s almost afraid that you’ll say no

and when you say yes and take out your phone he feels six weights being lifted off his shoulder

and his head jihoon imagines all the possibilities for you two...snuggling besides you as he watches you draw ideas into your notebooks, holding your hand and telling you to pay a bit more attention to him, and smiling when you toss your notebook away, giving in, and leaning closer to him

you have to shake his shoulders to wake him from his daydream lol

you’re like listen bud ur cute i gUESS but we ain’t gonna kiss or anything until i organize your closet

and that’s probably when jihoon realizes this relationship will be anything but the perfect manhwa couple he’s always dreamed of

and suddenly he finds himself swiftly pecking your cheek and going “yeah well i just dID”

you:

you: 

the other 10 members watching from a crack of the door: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

he saved u in his heart real fast

[49scribes-a]

{--Game stream commentary is always the best commentary.--}

Did I kill it?

DEAR LORD.

Why do you eat so many bullets?

Oh man I didn't mean to use my grenade like that but that happened.

That squeal tho.

[Don't let him near you] Bianca: practically makes out with the damn thing.

Gotta be quick twinkle toes~

Someone needs to teach that purple smurf that No means No.

Chloes fine, her breasts make for some hella fine armor.

Noooo. Noooooo. I don't want it.

Fucking like god damn this sucks right now.

She's so padded a bullet could just hit them tits and lose all velocity entirely.

I kinda wish I had my grenade now.

Me, watching instead of playing: Ooooo shiny blue light.

The rule of the game was to catch the shiny blue light right?

Sometimes... just sometimes... I can't tell the difference between Chloes voice and Biancas. And I'm losing my mind.

Death By Tree Sap.

DID YOU JUST ALLAHU AHKBAR YOURSELF?

Look I didn't mean to explode myself with the sap.

I need me a pair of jeans that are as durable as Nates.

Oh I don't think I like this spot.

I REMEMBER THIS SPOT. THIS IS NOT A SPOT I LIKE.

This is a nice place to lay down and never get up again... aka: just die.

Wow it just put itself up there so neatly. Anyway, on to my death. Multiple deaths. Cuz its gonna happen.

Its a nice place to die, to be fair. I would fight you for this quality grave.

No, that's a bad.

Oh god, that's a double bad.

NO, SHOTGUN GUY. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT.

*squealing gasp* I JUST REALIZED WHAT THAT WAS. I DON'T WANT WHAT YOU'RE SELLING. I DON'T. Oh shit you're right there--I SWEAR TO FUCK.

NOO OOO OOO OOO OO.

FUCK UP SHIT, WAY TO FUCK UP YOUR AIM.

I feel like this music is taunting us.

ITS TIME TO SLAM -- AND WELCOME THE JAM.

I'm like this in rl too... and I wonder why my family hates me. Making shitty commentary on everything.

Just breathe in through the stomach Bianca and let it go. Let all that stress and tension and pent up rage go-- Jk, hold onto the rage, let it fuel you.

Wow what the shit kinda fucking godly aim was that? That was unfair that's what it was.

Again can Chloe and ms-tits actually kill anything or are they just comfort back-up so you don't feel so alone?

I am very bothered by how steady they are standing in that water.

You wanna know fear, Bianca? You play any game with helicopter enemies. Oh wait--

This is literally That Game.

I am bothered by how he didn't float after he died. Step up your game physics.

He floats A W A Y.

Mmm Chloe's ass. It will see you through tough times.

The fuck kind of sniper wags his gun around like that. Is he fapping? Fap sniping.

U ASK 4 MY OPINION AND THEN U SPIT ON IT. HOW DARE.

This is why you should have taken the dragon sniper.

Oh I'm here already? ...Oh god I'm here already.

Just sit back, relax, pick your nose, eat some freetos, and let the guardian do the work.

Shoulda shot him in the balls for once... Bianca problems.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED.

He did a jig.

"Here let me just dance a bit before I die."

He's such a graceful dancer.

I should hope so, he took Ballet.

Chloe could shoot me any day.

I'm kinkshaming. 

You don't even know. I kinkshame myself daily by this point.

You can kinkshame Lavi too while you're at it.

Its weird being ace bc I can't even be positive how serious I am about some things. Like... do I really like guns and knives, or am I into THAT. I just don't know.

Oh hI ISA sorry I didn't greet you I was in the middle of dying. Death, dying deader.

He's such a graceful dancer tho. I wish I had his moves.

He got them moves like Jaeger.

The jump and flop.

There was this one time in Uncharted 4 where Nate got stuck between these two wires and looked like he was vibrating faster than the speed of sound. Ask Kit, he can tell you.

VIBRATING NATE. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. I WEEP.

SO THAT'S WHERE THE BLESS WITH THE VIBRATING IN THE AFTERLIFE CAME FROM.

Lick it. L I CK I T.

mARCO. Come on someone say Polo.

Polo.

No marco polo.

Oh... so licking the resin would have been a terrible idea.

Goodbye Elena.

Its fine. Her titties protected her.

Thicc tits.

There is no god here.

Don't be unNATEful.

Yes. Start the death count. Start the death count on Lazaravich: Crushing Mode. Let's see how it goes.

Oh god that's disgusting...

Let the death count begin-- BECAUSE I HAVE TO RUN. BYE.

OH GOD Jesus christ what the shit fuck.

Gotta go fast. 

Y'know if you got covered in that blue sap you could call yourself Sonic the Natehog.

H E ' S L E A R N I N G.

Gotta go fast. Gotta go fast. Gotta go faster, faster, faster faster faster.

I GOT BIANCA TO SING IT. Am proud.

Y'know your humor isn't that funny Lizarabitch hEY FUCK OOOOOOFF.

extra s a l ty.

THAT IS A /BAD/, NATHAN, HE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO GET THAT CLOSE TO YOU.

I SCREAMED FOR U. I SCREAMED FOR U THAT TIME. SWEET FUCK. STRANGER DANGER.

Where does he keep getting all those grenades?

From his asshole. Why do you think he's so uptight?

Just fucking somersault to your doom.

"Dlraaaake. Eeaaaa."

You know, he says he's going to crush nate, but... filling someone full of shotgun isn't crushing. I demand to be crushed by your russian gorilla arms. This is bullshit.

I SAW SOMETHING WITH BLUE TENTACLES MOVE.

YES. SUCK IT, LAZARABITCH.

NOW THAT'S CRUSHING.

Yeah now I REALLY gotta go fast.

*singing* Fast... nathan... fast... nathan...

NO, NOT MS. THICC.

Goodbye Chloe's ass.

THE WORLD IS WORTHLESS WITHOUT THAT ASS.

RIP Shambala.

Look what u did Nate. Everything you fucking touch. Smh.

#Aesthetic

Idk about u but... carrying people doesn't work that way, no matter how ripped you are. Its a pain in the goddamn dick.

She's ascended to titty heaven. At least her tits have, I am sure of this.

Get out.

No matter how many times I play this game, my hatred for this guy NE-VER lessens. Ever.

That guy can get fucked 365 ways to next year with a cactus.

Talibut, more like halibut.

I hate his hair therefore I hate him.

I don't judge people based on many things, but if ur hair suck... u probably suck as a person. And if you got no hair, I'm on a fucking fence because idk what to think. Like, Nate's got a bitch haircut... but its still pretty nice.

Sully's like that dude from te dos eques commercials. Suave, nice, refined.

I actually made me die in this segment.

*pause screen* Its okay Nate can just lay there for a while with his face in the floor.

You can't get me to eat after my own family, but I'll share a fucking blunt with three people. I disappoint myself.

Die on the spot from touching a urinal.

That was such a shit punch.

FUCKING. STAY. DOWN.

What is this, Lazarabitch 2.0?

Apparently there's a sandwich shop called Vore. Google it.

VORE SANDWICH SHOP. Wait no. Hang on. Vore food truck.

Ew that fucking hair. Oh my fucking god. Its so fucking bad.

Oh a knife, this changes things. Gut me baby one more time.

FUcking old people.

I read Pirata as Pinata for a second.

He just touches everything. He always has to like, touch something.

I FOUND THIS FUCKING ROOT AT THE STORE. AND ITS CALLED A NURN ROOT. I LOST MY SHIT ON THE SPOT. AND I REALIZED WHY PEOPLE THINK I'M A STONER.

Did it moan at you?

I MOANED AT IT.

I had to pause my game just to read this, oh my goodness.

I was gonna buy this fucking root. It was only 98 cents but my mom was pissed at me because I was embarrassing her with a root.