#i hope it'll stay out of my bed.. it may seem safe now due to the number of hiding places in my blankets but all that will get very dangero

[bitegore]

utterly gorgeous little yellow jumping spider hanging out in my room taking refuse from the cold... i've never seen them this color before

[seonghwa-is-babie]

Soft kitten

Hybrid! Seonghwa x male reader

Warning: mentioned abuse, crying, angst

Note: I think this the fastest I've ever redone a fic😳😳

Hope u enjoy!

"get up, pet" the guard said as seonghwa's cage opened, stepping out with his ears and tail hanging low. not really sure where he had to go, only knowing to obey orders, or he'll get even more beatings than just the daily torture of malnutrition.

Seonghwa lost hope ever since they kidnapped him from his home in the jungles and brought him to this prison like building, he had tried escaping many times, but every one of those failed. and the punishment for them was even worse than a failed attempt at freedom

They stopped in front of a curtain, pushing the boy through it. He fell to the ground, only when he looked up did he realise what his situation was. It was an auction, selling hybrids for a lot of money

"now up next as you can see, this beautiful white tiger hybrid, only 22 years old" prices were being shouted through the room, building up price little by little, until "$100,000,000" a voice said, this shocked everyone, including seonghwa. who'd give out that much just for a hybrid? "sold! You may come and get your hybrid after the auction"

After the auction, they put him back in his cage. He secretly hoped his new 'home' will be better than this one, though, he doubts it'll be anything different from his current life. Footsteps started coming to his cage and stopped in front of him

"get up" said the man who sold him. Seonghwa had trouble with it due to his wounds from the previous beatings "I'm terribly sorry for his lazy attitude sir" he said as the boy got up to face his new owner "it's fine" said the man who bought him. he was handsome, but seonghwa wasn't one to be fooled easily by appearances. he wore a fancy velvet suit and had (h/c) hair that was styled neatly

The older man did the leash on seonghwa's collar and handed it to the other "it's all yours now" the man nodded and left the building, seonghwa's ears still hanging low. He was glad to be out of there, but what will happen after this?

They got to a car that was parked relatively close, the other opened the door for him. Seonghwa didn't ask anything and stepped inside, the other went to the drivers seat and started driving "so what's your name?" he looked up shyly and said "s-s-seonghwa, sir." "that's a pretty name, and you can drop the sir or any formalities, just call me y/n." seonghwa blushed "thank you si- y/n, sorry" y/n shook it off.

🐯

The rest of the ride was quiet, seonghwa being too afraid and shy to start any conversation. "you don't talk much, do you?" y/n asked, seonghwa tensed up afraid he did something wrong

"it's alright, I get it. Your previous home must've been rough and laid down a lot of rules" y/n looked at seonghwa through the mirror of the car "I'm sorry you had to go through that, but don't worry, you won't have to go through that ever again, I'll make sure of it"

was his luck finally turning around? he didn't wanna get his hopes up too high too soon though, after all the man could just be lying to him "actually, I already have 7 hybrids I take care of already, they're like family to me." this made the smaller relieved, yet still nervous and frankly, a bit scared, what if the other hybrids don't like him or beat him like some of the others did back at his now old home.

They arrived at a big mansion, to seonghwa, it was a bit terrifying. When they got out of the car, y/n gestured seonghwa to come closer, the other obeyed but got extremely nervous when he felt hands around his neck, he flinched, pulling away "oh, I'm sorry, I was just gonna take your collar off since it looks a bit uncomfortable" seonghwa calmed down a bit, enough to let y/n finish taking his collar off. The older then gestured to take his hand, which the other took

Y/n opened the door, hoping the boys didn't mess up the house too bad, only to be met with no damage whatsoever "huh, that's new. Nothing's broken or damaged" seonghwa looked at him confused, but decided against asking, since he was still a bit on edge

He heard multiple pairs of feet come their way and hid behind y/n "hyung! You're home!" multiple voices said, they must be his other hybrids. All of them ran up to him to give him a hug, and that's when they noticed Seonghwa "hyung, who's that?" San, a cat hybrid who was currently in the older's arms, pointed behind y/n, eager to know the strangers name

"right, boys could you all please calm down a bit, I have some important news" that made the boys perk up "I've decided to bring another friend home, this is seonghwa, I hope you'll be kind to him like you are to each other. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to show seonghwa his room, you can ask him questions after that"

🐯

It's been about a month since seonghwa was introduced to the house, and he felt like he was in heaven, many friends, a loving owner that helped him get over past traumas, who he might be starting to like a little more than just his owner, and the freedom to finally chose for himself.

but not everything was all sunshine and rainbows. After a few weeks he started to question why he was even brought into this house, why y/n wanted him so badly that he spent $100,000,000 on him alone. how could seonghwa ever even try to pay him back, at this point he just feels like a burden to the man

🐯

One evening after dinner, seonghwa headed to his room early , claiming he was tired. When he got to his room, he started thinking 'why would he take me in, it seems like he has enough hybrids already, so why bring home another mouth to feed. He should have just left me there, where I won't be a burden to him' thinking more and more of these thoughts, he started to silently cry into his sheets

🐯

"boys, I'm gonna check up on seonghwa ok, I'll be back in a minute" the youngsters gave him quick 'ok' and went back to the show that was playing. As y/n was walking towards his room, he couldn't help but feel worried about the tiger hybrid, something seemed a bit odd when he went to his room so early.

He opened the door to seonghwa's room, only to find the latter seemingly sound asleep. y/n smiled at him and went to close the door, until he heard a quiet sniff coming from seonghwa's direction "seonghwa?" he didn't answer "seonghwa?" again, he didn't answer, but the older went in because he knew that he wasn't just hearing things.

He crouched down on the younger's bedside, but he had already covered his face with his blanket "seonghwa, could you please lower the sheets, I want to see your face for a second" y/n spoke in a gentle tone. The younger shook his head "please seonghwa, I want to make sure you're alright, and I can't do that without looking at your face

Seonghwa hesitated, but slowly lowered the sheets, revealing his red eyes and tear stained cheeks, the older immediately became worried, but tried to keep his calm "kitten, what's wrong? Did someone hurt you? Is it-"

"why did you get me?" y/n was shocked at that "you already have so many, so why bring in another mouth to feed. You could have easily left me to get bought by someone else. So why?! Why did you buy a stupid tiger that's nothing more than a burden to you?!?!"

he couldn't believe what he was hearing, to him, seonghwa, though having only been here for a short time, has become one of the most important people in his life. He couldn't let seonghwa think about himself like that

"seonghwa, i got you because from the first time I saw you, I knew you needed someone, someone that loves you and respects you, and I thought, I could be that person. It doesn't matter to me how many hybrids there are in my house, I will take care of all of you no matter what. And trust me, you're not a burden, you already help so much around the house, and the others already love you to death, I love you to death. Please, don't think that about yourself, I know you've been through a lot of stuff, but right here, right now, I'll promise to keep you save until I draw my last breath, you're save with us, with me"

Seonghwa cried, but these tears were those of happiness. He engulfed y/n in a hug, wrapping his arms around the olders neck while putting his head in his his chest "th-th-an-k you, thank you so much!" y/n stroked the younger's back, carefully lifting himself on the bed "it's alright dear, you're safe with me, no one's gonna hurt you"

🐯

After a while of comforting y/n realised he hasn't told the boys to go to bed yet "sweetheart, I have to go see the boys for a little and make sure they go to bed, is that alright with you?" seonghwa didn't let him go "can't you stay here?" he chuckled at the younger clinging onto him as if his life depended on it

"I'll only be gone for a few minutes, then I'll come straight back to you" the younger continued his whining "nooooo, I wanna stay with you" y/n lifted him up so he was wrapped around his chest, clinging on him like a koala "then you're coming with me"

"boys, it's time for bed" y/n said as he came downstairs, the others looked at him with a questioning look "what?" he asked, the others gave knowing looks to each other "hyung?" San asked "yeah, what is it?" the next words, y/n definitely didn't expect to hear "do you like seonghwa hyung?"

🐯

The question had stuck with him since the others went to bed 'maybe I do like him, he brings a smile to my face just by existing, he's a true sweetheart, not to mention he's the most beautiful person i've ever laid my eyes on' " umm, y/n?" the older turned his head to seonghwa "I ummm, might have heard what you and San talked about" y/n sighed, sitting up from the bed, already knowing where this was going "I understand it if you felt uncomfortable about that, but he wasn't wrong actually, I've found myself quite fond of you actually, but I completely understand if these feelings aren't the same for you."

the two stood there in complete silence "I guess I should go I probably made this extrem-" "no wait!" y/n looked back at seonghwa who's face was completely red "umm, I umm, I also like you, the feelings' mutual" he almost stuttered out completely. The older smiled softly at him, crawling back into bed with him, petting his ears "You're so soft, kitten."

[msjr0119]

The Greatest Show

“The Other Side.”

A new 9 part series- all chapters are based on each song from ‘The Greatest Showman’

Characters belong to Pixelberry except MC - Amber Smith-Beaumont

Warnings: Swearing, sarcasm, stubborn Dramber

Tags - using combined tagged list, if you want to be removed please let me know 👍🏼

Catch up on the previous chapter here

@annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @drakesensworld @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002 @butindeed @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @pedudley @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @dangerouseggseagleartisan @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @yukinagato2012 @dcbbw @qammh-blog @nz1091 @beardedoafdonutwagon @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @indiacater @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @princess-geek @jared2612 @desiree-0816

I was going to do the songs in chronological order, however this song is apt for this chapter.🙌🏼

******

Amber woke up with a slight headache- not knowing if it was due to the jet lag or the full bottle of whiskey she had downed with Drake in such a short time the previous night.

Wrapping herself up in the luxurious duvet, waves of nausea suddenly hit- adding to her misery regarding being here ‘against her own free will.” Amber turned her phone on, as it ‘pinged’ with message after message, notification after notification- she regretted turning it on in the first place. Brett. Brett and his usual abusive threats were many of the messages. After no response from her, the usual apologies began- ‘Baby I’m sorry. I love you, just let me know that you are alright?’ The room began spinning, dehydration was now too obvious to ignore- grabbing a glass of water and painkillers, she had hoped that she would recover even the slightest before seeing Bertrand.

Quickly getting showered and dressing in comfy clothes- she had decided to go for a wander around her new home for the next month or so. Knowing that it was the Derby later on today and that Maxwell had already prepped her outfit, she knew she had time before needing to get ready. Leaving her phone, she text Brett lying saying signal was rubbish.

*****

Maxwell and Bertrand woke up and immediately headed towards Amber’s room. Bertrand had decided to give her a quick refresher lesson to help her ‘fit in’.

Opening the door, she wasn’t there. Bertrand became panic stricken mainly due to his house’s reputation, Maxwell was the opposite- assuming it was due to Brett.

“Where the hell is she? Was she okay when Drake saw her?”

“Yes! He said ‘She’s fine, no need for babysitting. I’ve left her now. See ya tomorrow Beaumont.’ I know Drake is miserable and seems not caring. But he wouldn’t leave anyone alone if they weren’t fine. Well...he may do that to Madeleine or Olivia- but with other people he has a heart under that gruff interior.” Heading two doors down, they knocked on Drakes door- hoping he would give any indication regarding Amber’s state of mind. Opening the door in response to the loud banging, he would berate whoever created this rude awakening.

“Do you know what time it is?” Drake snapped, whilst yawning.

“Yes 7.30. It’s late for me! I’m like the walking and talking alarm clock. Have you heard from Amber?”

“No why would I hear from her?”

“Well you probably have spoken to her more than anyone here. She’s not in her room. I’m worried that she’s runaway to go back to that arsehole.”

“She was fine when I left. We spoke about the states, realised we have a few things in common. One of those things was riding- I said I’d take her for a ride one day. I wouldn’t have left her if she wasn’t okay- mainly due to you two possibly murdering me.” Mainly due to me falling fast for her. I wouldn’t want to see her hurt. “What’s this arsehole done to her anyway? Cheated on her?”

“I wish! No I don’t mean it like that, I meant I wish that was the only thing he has done to her. Do you remember us sneaking off to New York a lot? That’s the reason why- she’d insist to not come but she’s family.”

“Many times myself and Maxwell had tried to convince her to come back. She’s afraid of what he may do next, what more he is capable of. I’m surprised that she’s here now. Maybe if she feels safe here she may stay?”

“I’ll use my persistent charm to convince her.” Maxwell winked at them both.

“I’ll go and look for her. You two look for her as well.” Bertrand exited the room, Drake’s mind was racing - wondering if the two brothers were over exaggerating the facts regarding Amber’s boyfriend.

“What has he done to her Max? She didn’t explain anything to me. I know it’s none of my business and that’s probably why.”

“Black eyes, bruises, broken arm, skull fracture. There’s no getting through to her buddy. I just wish she would find someone who would love her and that would treat her like a princess. I know she’s sarcastic, a bit dim at times- but she’s an amazing girl.” I know Max, she is amazing. That bastard, she doesn’t deserve that. No one deserves that. I’d treat her well. I’d take her on dates, spoil her, love her. She won’t see you in that way Drake, she’s far too good for you- so stop thinking like that. Brett is her boyfriend, and she’s Liam’s suitor. The prince could sway away from Liv, I mean Amber seems so much better than the ice queen. Shaking his head, he left his thoughts locked away- for the mean time.

“Let’s hope she enjoys her time here then, and that you can convince her to stay. Keep her safe. Does he know where you two are from?”

“No. He doesn’t know we are noble. Good job really.”

*****

Amber was in a gaze, walking through the courtyard lost in thought.

“Lady Amber are you lost?”

“Hey ‘Zimmer’. No. Well yes. I just needed some air - to clear my mind. I didn’t want to be a burden to anyone.”

“Remember what I threatened you with ‘suture’. Well if you insist. I’m sure the Beaumont’s are panicking about your whereabouts, Bertrand had a face like thunder.”

“Shit! He’s going to kill me. He’s going to yell at me. I better go back in.”

“And where the hell have you been?” Clearing his throat after seeing Leo, he returned to his usual manners by bowing to the prince. “Your highness.”

“Bertrand for fuck sake just call me Leo.”

“As you wish. Amber you look a mess, you’re one of Liam’s suitors. Get inside now and get ready! I’ll bring you some breakfast up to your room. We don’t have time to dilly dally. You’re a Beaumont act like one!”

Amber mouthed told you to Leo who just laughed. Storming through the doors with Bertrand high on her heels, Maxwell and Drake were waiting in her room after not finding her themselves.

“What are you two doing here?”

“Where have you been?”

“I went for a walk, I’ve got a banging headache- a hangover because of him.” Pointing to Drake, his face dropped knowing he would be in the doghouse with the brothers.

“Hey! I didn’t force you to drink the whiskey. It’s not my fault.” Amber laughed, then the both of them averted their gaze. Maxwell noticed the two of them blushing. Wondering what exactly happened last night between them both. He had noticed that Drake hadn’t been as withdrawn as he usually is since Amber had been there. Believing he was overthinking the situation- he did need to mention something important.

“Amber, he’s been ringing you whilst we’ve waiting here. What’s up?”

“Oh the usual threats. I made my bed Max so I’ll lay in it. Anyway- get out I need to get dressed, I don’t want to give Drake another heart attack. Then we have a Beaumont meeting downstairs, Bertrand is waiting for us.” Using the ‘finger gun’ gesture mimicking a handgun, he knew it was important to get to Bertrand quickly- the sooner this ‘meeting’ was over the better.

*****

Pacing the room, Bertrand was impatiently waiting for his family members to attend. He had spoken to Liam prior, to ask that no one disturbs them.

“Lord Beaumont. Lady Amber. About time that you both arrived. You both need to be punctual with court events. Now we have around an hour before we have to head to the Derby.” Amber rolled her eyes back, whilst Max sniggered- knowing she really didn’t give two damns.

“Bertrand. I know how to be noble. I spent all my childhood summers surrounded by you guys. I’m a good actress don’t worry.”

“Right here, right now. I put the offer out,I don't want to chase you down. I know you see it. You run with me and I can cut you free. Out of the drudgery and walls you keep in.”

“What the hell is that meant to mean?”

“That you can stay here with us, not go back to your hard boring life in New York. So trade that typical for something colorful. And if it's crazy, live a little crazy.... you can risk it all and see”

“Don't you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play 'Cause I got what you need, so come with me and take the ride. It'll take you to the other side” Max butt in, hoping that she would listen to their plea to stay.

“Okay, my friend, you want to cut me in. Making me a fake princess, a noble. Well I hate to tell you, but it just won't happen. So thanks, but no I think I'm good to go. ‘Cause I quite enjoy the life you say I'm trapped in. Now I admire you, and that whole courtly show you do. You're onto something, really it's something....I got what I need and I don't want to take the ride. I don't need to see the other side. So go and do like you do. I'm good to do like me. Oh, damn! Can't you see I'm doing fine. I don't need to see the other side”

“Now is this really how you like to spend your days? Whiskey and misery, and parties and plays?”

“If I were mixed up with you, I'd be the talk of the town. Disgraced and disowned, another one of the clowns.”

“But you would finally live a little, finally laugh a little. Just let me give you the freedom to dream. And it'll wake you up and cure your aching. Take your walls and start 'em breaking. Now that's a deal that seems worth taking. But I guess I'll leave that up to you...” Hoping she would listen to their words, she didn’t need to become a full Beaumont- a lady of their house, but if she moved to Cordonia full time they knew she would be safe- and have a better future. Amber remained silent, not knowing how to respond. Obviously leaving Brett would cure all the heartache she had gained in New York. But she knew of how vicious court could be especially with her being ‘common’.

“We’re going to the other side, as a team. Until the Coronation- then I’ll consider my options. And for your information I enjoy whiskey and misery! And parties. Does this social season include an infamous Beaumont Bash?” The two brothers smiled at each other, knowing she would possibly consider staying. Not wanting to push it any further, they had decided to continue with the noble refresher course. Bertrand went through things such as how to use cutlery correctly, whilst Maxwell helped her with the Cordonian waltz.

“I know you don’t want to be here, but make an effort with Liam. Especially if Connie is watching. I heard that Drake that offered to take you for a ride. What kind of ride did he mean?”

“Horse ride. Dur! What other kind of ride?”

“Ohh you were both blushing before.”

“So?”

“Well he’s your type, tall dark handsome.”

“He is not my type! My type are arseholes. And he isn’t an arsehole.”

“But his looks are your type.” Amber knew she couldn’t lie- especially to Max. When they were younger, they would tell each other their deepest, darkest secrets.

“You two! Concentrate! I know I said you could live a little- but we need to get this right before the next ball.” The two of them danced, Maxwell didn’t see the point- he knew that Amber was an elegant dancer anyway. Picking up the moves straight away he knew she would piss the social season without even trying. Bertrand was impressed with the progress that they had completed in such a short time. There was a hesitant knock at the door- Liam, Leo and Drake wondered if they were all ready to go to the derby. Whilst Bertrand spoke to the Princes- Drake went over towards Maxwell and Amber.

“How’s the hangover m’lady?” Drake asked sarcastically.

“It was better until Bertrand forced us to dance- giving me more of a headache. I’m not noble but I know how to dance. My forte is the slut drop back home- but I don’t think they’d all appreciate me doing that here?”

“Hey, seen as though you’re such a good dancer- why don’t you teach grumpy here? He’s useless with those things.”

“Beaumont! I’m not useless- I just choose not to involve myself with shit like that.”

“Come On Drake, you’ve lived here your whole life and you’ve never once danced with a lady here. Even when Kiara tried to force you.” Kiara, she’s the intellectual one apparently- why would he refuse to dance with her?

“I would dance with anyone but her. I’d even dance with you Max over her.”

“So dance with Amber now then. She needs as much practice as possible.”

“I don’t need anymore practice thank you, MAX.” Why am I refusing to dance with him? It’s just Drake, my cousins friend.

“You heard the lady.” Drake stated before Bertrand came over, wondering what all the commotion was about.

“What’s the matter?”

“I suggested that Drake and Amber should dance together. To get more practice for her. But they are both being stubborn.”

“I think it’s a splendid idea. Maxwell, Liam wanted a word with us anyway. We will be back in five minutes.”

*****

“How about we just not dance. I can tell that you feel uncomfortable about it. What they don’t know won’t hurt. We could just lie, I’ll say I couldn’t teach you because you’re a rubbish student.” Smirking at him, she had hoped that he knew she was joking.

“I don’t actually know how to waltz, I’ve never been interested and I never will be, especially dancing with some noble girl who drools all over me at any given opportunity.” Amber bit her lip, attempting to prevent herself from laughing. “I know you’re trying not to laugh- but it’s true.”

“What the issue with Kiara? She’s beautiful, intelligent, from what they’ve said she’s nice enough.”

“She’s all that.”

“Well then. Maybe you should give her a chance- I’ll teach you to dance the waltz and then you can ask her for a dance.” For god sake Amber, I don’t want to dance with her. Maybe I would with you though.

“Fine. I’m going to lose this argument anyway aren’t I?”

“Yes. My family have a persistent side to us.” Getting into position, she could tell he was tense. Rubbing his arms, she had hoped to loosen him up a bit.

“Do not tell anyone about this.” Drake begged, putting all his trust into a woman he had known for all of two seconds. In the back of his mind he was hoping that he wouldn’t make a fool of himself.

“Don’t worry, you’re secrets save with me. I accept bribery in the form of whiskey.”

“That’s my girl.” Realising what he said, he immediately regretted it. “I didn’t mean it like that... I meant... because you like whiskey... oh just ignore me... I’ll buy you some whiskey to keep my secret safe.”

“That’s my man.” She winked, mimicking him. Taking one of Drake’s hands, she guided it around her waist, before putting her hand on his shoulder gently. Placing her spare hand into his- she noticed that it was slightly clammy. Looking into his eyes, she smiled softly- reassuring him that it would be fine. Shit I can’t do this, that wank last night was a one off- but having her this close to me is making me want more. Think that you’re dancing with Maxwell instead. After a while, Drake glided through the steps effortlessly, keeping his arms and chest out.

“Hold your hand up, and I’ll spin underneath it.” Finishing the spin, he held her close- both just staring at each other. Their chests rising in unison, Amber averted her gaze, and removed herself from his embrace.

“That’s it. You’ve done the Cordonian Waltz. I’ll buy you a medal. See, dancing isn’t that bad.” Maybe not with you in my arms- shit. Stop thinking about her like that.

“Maybe not. I don’t need a medal, I’m not a kid. I’ll share that whiskey I owe you instead.”

“It’s a date. Come on. Let’s go and find the others.” Drake blushed, knowing the word ‘date’ didn’t mean anything. But how he wished it did, he wouldn’t admit that to anyone.

*****

After finding the others, they headed towards Honeyhill Downs. The suitors all gathered in the tents. Amber kept herself to herself- not really wanting to form any friendships until she knew what her future held. Olivia abruptly dragged her to the side, out of view from the others.

“So Amber, Liam told me about your little plan.”

“With all due respect your grace, it’s not a plan. It’s what Prince Liam will be doing. He wants you to become his wife- so what’s stopping him just following his heart?”

“But the King said....”

“What the King said is something he hopes for. Doesn’t mean it will become a reality - he shouldn’t control Liam’s mind. Liam is the future king.”

“So you don’t find the Prince attractive? You wouldn’t want to be future Queen yourself?”

“Fuck no!” Composing herself, she coughed before acting more ‘lady like’. “What I mean is no, I do not want to be Queen. Not now. Not ever. He’s all yours, don’t worry your grace. The only time I will spend with Liam will be an act. He’s not my type anyway.”

“What is your type then?”

“Someone who’s tall dark and handsome. And someone who is usually an arsehole. Liam has lovely baby blues, but I prefer dark eyes.” Olivia laughed, knowing who her perfect man would be- unaware that Amber was already in a relationship.

“Oh someone like Drake Walker then?” Blushing, she needed to think of an excuse to avoid people realising she had a slight crush on the commoner.

“Drake, is a lovely guy. The only love we will share is for whiskey.”

“If you say so Amber. I’m starting to like you. Stay in my good books or I may threaten you with a dagger.”

*****

Liam, Leo and Drake sat in the royal tent- all scrutinising the suitors tent from a distance. Whilst the two brothers compared the suitors, they noticed Drake in a trance- his eyes following every move that a certain lady made.

“Earth to Drake?” Liam said in a concerned voice, whilst shaking Drake.

“Sorry, what’s up?”

“Why are you gawking at Amber?” Shit!

“I’m not, I’m looking at them all- wondering why the hell liam is still insistent on choosing Olivia.”

“Now I know you’re lying Walker. You wouldn’t look at Kiara like that. You hate her.” Leo raised his eyebrows, waiting for Drake to lie through his teeth.

“I think Amber is a lovely girl, she’s got a great sense of humour. That is all.”

“Dude, you need to tell her how you feel.”

“For fuck sake Leo, I don’t know the girl. There’s nothing to tell her. I’ll go and grab some more drinks.” The two brothers laughed, both knowing Drake was hiding his true feelings.

“Do you think he will ever confess to her?”

“No.”

*****

Walking over to the bar, Drake thought about leaving Cordonia for a while to convince himself that he wasn’t falling for the new girl. If it was that obvious that both the princes knew, who else knew? How long would it be before Amber knew?

“I’ll have a whiskey if you’re buying. You owe me remember- or I may just spill your little secret.” Turning around, he couldn’t get away from her- not that he wanted to.

“I have many secrets, I suppose that one isn’t one of the worse for you to spill. Are you enjoying the Derby?”

“Ohh there’s more secrets? You have to tell me now, I’ll pinky promise that I won’t tell anyone. About this Derby- I’d rather be riding, but hey this is all just for show. In a month I’ll be out of here, living my old life.” Drakes heart sunk, now he knew that he needed to prevent his premature feelings from growing.

“I don’t trust anyone, so I wouldnt trust you with all my secrets.” One secret being that I like you more than I should. “I don’t blame you for wanting to escape. I’d be doing the same if it wasn’t for Liam.”

“I’m hurt that you don’t trust me- I’m joking. Are you sure you’re not a closet gay?”

“I’m positive! I meant Liam has always had my back. Even when my dad died, and my mom left us- the royal family took us in and made us part of the family. Most nobles were ready to cast us out.” Placing a comforting hand on his arm, she felt guilty.

“I’m sorry Drake. I didn’t know. I was only joking you know? I better get back. Thank you for the drink.”

“No problem. Your round next time though.”

“Definitely. By the way, I’m glad you’re not a closet gay. That would just be a waste- you’re too handsome. See ya.” Shit why would I call him handsome? I mean he is, but I shouldn’t have said that. Why is it that I’d prefer to hang out with him over the women? I need to go back to New York as soon as possible- I’m damaged goods, he wouldn’t like me in that way.

Too handsome? She’s just being polite. Don’t think too much into it. You’re just a commoner. Once this event is over, I need to book a flight to Texas- I can’t fall for a girl who will never return the feelings.

[asmallbirdinmayy]

I'm not sure why I haven't posted anything here yet since this world craziness started... Normally I would have bombarded it with posts everyday and such.

This social distancing is my life style, so I've been doing pretty okay better than most unfortunatly. Thank you Tumblr, and hours of scrolling for preparing me for this moment in time!

I've been filling my days with video games, reading and trying to force myself out for runs. I've helped my mum clean the house. (She has a bad back and would end up killing myself if I didn't go over every once in a while to help out)

I've also recently shaved my head! Finally, I've wanted to do it for years to see what I'd look like and to get rid of the years of dying it and hairstyle frustrations. I like it, but some days I get self conscious and don't end up going for runs. But maybe I'm just using that as an excuse and I'm just hella laazy!

It's a learning curve for sure, I've been reading a lot of philosophy lately and listening to the philosophize this podcast for the past year now so I've been trying to work on myself, thinking more and trying to meditate and gain self confidence and just be able to help myself help others. If that makes sense? Anyway, cutting off all your hair really helps practice Stoicism. There's no instant regrowth, and my hair takes longer to grow out than normal people.

I do love myself, a hella a lot more than I used to. There's nothing I wouldn't change, and I think that mind set alone has been what gets me out the door more often for runs and wanting to take care of my body and mind!!

I've also been cooking more, to save on money and because I'm not a huge advocate for waste being delivered to my door. I have had breakdowns however, I did it twice, I've ordered breakfast for myself to help me get up earlier and to get better coffee. Because the Maxwell can is not working out for me, and it's so gross, its taking me forever to get through it! I'll still drink it though, because, caffeine! Hello.

Back to cooking more! I've been mostly making mashed potatoes and what nots, but I'll occasionally make a vegan grilled cheese or have vegan hot dogs! I've made some pasta, quinoa and lately before bed I'll get a chia bowl ready to set while I sleep. That's pretty healthy and delicious. I've made terrible pancakes, I accidently got the whole wheat flour rather than the other stuff, soo that wasn't a fun mistake. Alas, no waste, so I have to make it into things!

I also signed up for a sustainable cities online course, lots of reading, but it was on sale. If anything it'll help me plan imaginary cities better in my head and I'll be able to put it on resumes. So level up?

I've re arranged my living room so I can easily switch between laptop and PlayStation without having to get up for any reason! +40 laziness. Aha. Fun.

Cats bombard with with attention and cuddles All. The. Damn. Time. I thought cats were supposed to not care and be independent and stuffs. Not my cats, noo. I wake up pinned, cat by my head, in the curve of my back and on my feet! If I'm laying on my back xews will be on my chest. Like hello! Let me breathe. They follow me to the bathroom, and to the couch! My couch is tiny, and all three of them find a little spot and take up all the space. It's hard to take notes! Anyway. I love them, I love their cuddles I'll never take them for granted and I'll always be like okai in the lap you go! It's nice playing a videogame with your cats stretching their paw onto your paw!. #catmum

Works been telling me the new opening day is July 3rd.. July 3rd two more months of this madness. I'm okay with it though, I'll hopefully finish the online course and get out for more runs! I've signed up the the social distancing run thing, I'm hoping to do a 10k for it!

Our government is all over the place about everything, and its making people crazy! There's lies, uncertainty questions unanswered. There's conspiracies left and right and I don't know which ones to believe. I mean some seem drastic and obviously crazier than others. I'm just not politically educated enough for this. But what if they're true to? I dunno, I've been watching a lot of things and reading stuff of history and stuffs and theirs some people that end up being corrected and proven right when people thought they were insane ? And yea people are just crazy and have their crazy thoughts. I dunno. I just want to have a back seat, and I mean my first and foremost fight is with nature, so my bias towards anything will be on how it affects the future of how we live with nature. If that makes sense? I could go on and on about this part, but this part makes me the most unwary and depressed honestly. I've been crying for days about this and where I stand, I've always been one to stand with the people. But which people? My brain hurts. I'm a sheep guys. I'm a sheep. I'm just a very lost sheeple.

People that I know from South Africa sent me a message saying that they were starving and asked for help, I wasn't sure what to do. I sent them some money, but I don't have much to give. I hope it'll be enough to get them by for a couple of days! I haven't heard from her since? So I don't know?

Anyways.

I haven't heard from my possibly future school yet about the upcoming semester and what to do, am I still able to go? Are they going to be opened by end of August? Will I be allowed to travel to another province? I'll wait till the end of May to send an email and find out! I am not doing that course online, I have a hard enough time motivating myself to do this current baby course. And I really want to do well in this course if I get there! It was a whole thing guys.

Before all this started I had started therapy, volunteering for the theater and taekwando. I'm really sad that i haven't been able to take part in these new hobbies. I had the chance to volunteer for the opening of the wizard of oz production before all the other shows at the theater got cancelled. It was amazing. Maybe I'll be able to do something similar while I'm in Vancouver. I only had one beginning trial class for taekwando, I'm slightly sad because by the time it reopens I'll probably be heading to Vancouver and won't be able to attend.

Cancelling therapy was the hardest, I had just started after years and years of being afraid to go for many reasons. I only got two sessions in before having to stop due to being laid off. But it's okay, because I still have my writing as my therapy. I end up asking the questions to myself while writing. I've read a lot of psychology, well not a lot, but a good amount. But the extra help and guidance was nice. I learned new terminology that applied to myself and my childhood and a couple other things that I'm able to sit back and acknowledge during meditations.

It was like I was finally getting out more, trying to fix myself, trying to go meet new friends and say hello to the world. And then the world was like nah. Back to social distancing! Kay, thaanks.

The last three or so days I've felt a little pull back into myself and I couldn't motivate myself lately. I think a large part of it was due to an argument I had with my mother, and the political drama that's been going on lately.

Wanting to go on runs or outside to enjoy the chilly sunny day has been a struggle, when it hasn't been I'm a while. I was playing ESO with a couple friends when all of a sudden all I wanted to do was just lay on the couch, curl up with my eyes closed and just bleh. I listening to the ESO music for a while and remembered that I haven't wrote anything in a long while on Tumblr or anywhere. So here I am, returning to my old therapy just writing my garbage thoughts to replace them with happier more motivated ones. It's sort of working, we'll see how the day goes.

All in all, I'm okay, my family is okay. And only time will tell what craziness is next for this year!

If anyone read this far down, first of all thank you. You're probably someone that I love! Love you <3 and I hope you're also doing well, and staying safe!!!