#i haven't yet though (writing is bothersome sometimes)

[ngtskynebula]

To my fellow ficwriters:

I've got... a question. If you've posted a fic, let's say a oneshot or shortfic, and it could be finished or not, would you find it okay if someone showed up having written a fic with the same premise as yours, as in "I've read your work and I loved it! So, I wrote smth in the same plot-universe as yours to expand on it ☺️", and then tagged the fic as inspired by yours, or just stated in the author's note it's based on yours? Would you be mad?

It wouldn't be a repost, it'd be more like... plot recycling. What would you think? Is it plagiarizing, or disrespect, for you? 🤔

[imaginarybestie]

All The Things I Want To Teach C

Dear P,

Another thing I can write to my "imaginary friend C" about is all the things that I want to teach her or to share with her. Of course, I will share all of these things with her in real life, one day, too, once I feel like I've got it all ready and prepared to give her. And as she gets old enough to really be ready to understand different topics. And as she gets mature enough and less naive about certain topics. I will also figure out in what order I want to teach her about different stuff.

There are just so many things I want to share with her and teach her, and it can sometimes feel kind of intimidating to try to put it all in words and collect up and organize all of the resources and ideas and stuff. I have so many ideas I want to share, and so much inspiration. So many things that have helped me through life. So many things that I learned that really actually saved my life, but that I had to live without for so many years and decades of my life.

And all that time I had to live without these things, I was suffering and lost and confused and alone and just in such a mess, in so many ways. Now I want to be able to give to her the things that I needed when I was her own age. I hope I can do so in such a way that will really help her, and maybe prevent much of the suffering and lostness and confusion I had to go through. I know that she is her own person, and I know too that however much I try to clearly explain these ideas and practices that helped me, I still might fall far short.

My words might be unclear, unconvincing, hard to follow or dull. Even if I try to steer her towards books, resources, videos, websites and such, the truth is that much of wat helped me isn't quite like what I see in books and sites and such. Yes, I found huge amounts of wisdom in other people's resources, and much of it was essential and foundational for me, but I also had to add a lot of other stuff, and often I had to make many changes to things to make them work for me. So I want to pass on all the changes and caveats and serious risks and problems that I also found in all those other books and sites. I feel what I have to offer is really useful and however flawed and ineloquent my story is, I want to try to share it the best I can.

I also think these ideas could be helpful to K, if she was open to them and didnt get offended at me trying to "help" her (And I wouldn't be pushy or try to tell her that she has to listen or care or like any of it, but even still, I feel a little uncomfortable with the idea of sharing these things with her. Even though, on the other hand, I feel so inspired to share them with her, because I really think they might be tranformative and healing and great for her, quite likely. But some part of me feels like I might feel shunned and snubbed if she just ignores it or even acts funny towards me after I share such things with her.

And I could undesrtand why she might act funny, because it is a little bit "weird" to have your family members who you're not even all that close and hardly talk to, suddenly start to inundate you with huge amounts of ideas and information on stuff like this. When you haven't shown any real zeal or devotion to exploring such topics yourself. More like just an occasional dabbling or wishful daydreaming, but not real action or dedication.

Her life is pretty busy, and she is wrapped up in many worries and problems so I can see how me flooding her with these huge amounts of ideas might feel irritating or bothersome to her, somehow. Yet at the same time, when you have what feels like it might be some great hugely beneficial, even possibly life-saving thing, how could you not want to share it and hope that the person would be open.

But at least with the imaginary friend K, I can share all this too, without worries about her reactions. And maybe someday or somehow, I'll find a way that I can share some or maybe all of it with the real her. Maybe a little bit at a time. Or maybe I can present it in some kind of way that would feel non-threatening, totally not pushy and awkward at all, just incidental, take-it-or-leave-it.

And maybe I can truly find a way to detach from the hope for reciprocity or acknowledgment after pouring my heart and soul into this project and then giving her my soul in a book and then just be ok to have it ignored. Lol I mean it really isn't like she owes me anything at all, for it, of course, other than perhaps a light thanks. But somehow I feel like I might feel hurt and resentful, even if I shouldn't, if that is all I get from her in return. Sometimes emotions don't make sense, but I have to watch out for them or they can become tidal forces to be reckoned with. I hope I can find a good way to deal with this, but till then, I can just practice and contemplate what I might do, and share it with imaginary friend C and imaginary friend K, and the right future path might become more clear later on.

Ah, thanks for listening, P. It really feels like you are. Wow. This feels so much more awesome than just talking or thinking to myself alone.

-C