#i haven't stopped crying about star wars since last night

[separatist-apologist]

God those tiktok edits of all the now dead SW characters saying, "may the force be with you" get me EVERY time

[psyenche]

Dear Arima Kousei,

(Dear my Kousei,)

It feels weird writing a letter to someone you were just with...

(It doesn't feel weird at all since I always write what I wanted to tell you...)

You're the worst.

(Yes, you are.)

Indecisive. Gullible. Twit.

(Meh. Meh. Meh.)

The first time I ever saw you perform, I was 5 years old. It was at a recital for the piano school I was going to. This awkward, clumsy kid came onto the stage and accidentally hit the piano stool with his butt. It was too funny. He turned to the piano that was way too big for him and the moment he played that first note, I was drawn in.

(The first time I ever saw you, we were six years old, I guess. It was when your family visited here. You were so jolly, always wanted to play, and cool—well this is my eyes. That one moment when you were playing with my dolphin balloon made me become more considerate. Idk maybe because it was you who was playing with it.)

The sound was beautiful, like a 24-colour pallete. The melodies danced.

(The sound of your laugh was contagious.)

The girl next to me started crying. I wasn't expecting that at all.

(Then came my cousin. She sat next to me. That was when I ever told a person I had a crush on you.)

And even so, you gave up the piano. Even though it totally changed other people's lives. You're the worst. Indecisive. Gullible. Twit.

(And even so, you didn't come the next weeks. I think about you sometimes, and I know you were always in my heart. You're quite the worst. Why do you have to make me feel this way?)

When I found out we were in the same middleschool, I was ecstatic. But how would I ever come to talk to you? Maybe I'd hang out at the lunch concession. Instead, I just watched you from afar.

(After years, there was an upcoming activity. I found out you were coming, I was ecstatic. But how would I ever come to talk to you? Maybe I'll just walk straight towards you. Instead, I just watched you from afar.)

I mean. After all. You all seemed to get along so well. There wasn't really any space in there for someone like me.

(I mean. After all. We were just kids the last time we saw each other and you might've forgotten about me. And in your world, there wasn't really any space in there for someone like me, indeed.)

When I was a kid, I had to have an operation and I started having to be at the hospital for regular check-ups. In the first year of middle school, I collapsed and I was admitted over and over. With every visit, I was there for longer and longer. Really, I didn't get to class much in middle school, I spent more time at the hospital. And I knew something was wrong with my body.

(When I haven't seen you at all for how many years, I somehow forgot about you. But someone came. A common friend who started talking about you. I actually don't remember her playing with us. I do not have such memories, really. But she said she was with us so okay. I really only remember us without her. Really, I can't remember anything she was saying.)

One night, I saw my parents crying in the waiting room and I knew that my time was running out.

(One night, I was thinking about what she has said and there, I realized as thoughts flew, you're more than that.)

That's when I ran away.

(That's when I decided to change in a good way.)

I didn't want to bring my regrets with me to heaven, so I stopped holding back from what the things I always wanted to do.

(I didn't want to bring my regrets with me to heaven, so I tried to create small interactions just to talk to you.)

I wasn't scared anymore to get contact lenses.

(I tried watching anime when I found out you like it.)

I ate what I wanted instead of always worrying about my weight.

(I tried watching Star Wars because of you as well—but actually a part of it was because of my father.)

And I took the music with all its high and mighty directives and played it the way I wanted.

(I also found myself continued learning how to play the piano when I saw you holding and playing the violin. And found out, your lie in april is also your favorite.)

And then I told a lie. Just one.

(And then I told a lie. Just one.)

I lied and said that I, Miyazono Kaori, liked Watari Ryouta.

(I lied and said that I can live without you.)

And that lie brought you to me.

(And that lie isn't working at all. I'm still into you.)

Please apologize to Watari for me... though I'm sure he's forgotten me by now.

(Please I apologize for being like this... though I'm sure you don't care about me by now.)

I think I need someone more wholehearted and earnest than him.

(I think I need someone more wholehearted and caring than you.)

I think we'd be fine as friends though.

(I think you and I would be fine as friends.)

And please apologize to Tsubaki for me too.

(And I'd also like to apologize for my close friends who likes you too. I really hate this situation.)

I want for there to be no hard feelings. And there was one thing I could never ask of her, to ask her directly to introduce the two of us.

(I want for there to be no hard feelings. But seems like the situation has gotten worse... because of me, I guess. I wanted to fight and I fought for you. For us. But it was just me. You didn't do anything.)

I don't think she would've had an answer for me.

(I don't think this can be solved without you.)

After all, she was inlove with you.

(After all, we'll get pretty dragged by you.)

We all knew that.

(I don't know if we all knew that. But I do.)

I think the only people who didn't know were you and her.

(I think the only person who didn't know was you.)

That underhanded lie brought me to you didn't work out the way I had imagined.

(That confession brought me to you didn't work out that way I had imagined. What do you say?)

It was darker.

(It was darker.)

And meaner.

(And meaner.)

And denser.

(And denser.)

And more stubborn.

(And more stubborn.)

And more perverted.

(And more boring.)

And softer.

(And softer.)

And more masculine.

(And more considerate.)

And sweet.

(And a little sweet.)

Remember that bridge we jumped off? The water was so cool and refreshing.

(Remember that night we danced? Everything was so beautiful.)

Racing each other alongside the train. I really thought I could win.

(Raising each other's hands, dancing crazily as if it was just us in the hall, smiling to the moon and back, looking at each other's eyes as if we both were waiting for that very moment to happen for a very very long time. I really wanted that moment to last.)

The moon was saw from the music room that night, like a delicious-looking bun.

(The moon was beautiful, and the sun was so bright.)

Singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with you as we rode on that bike together. Then falling out time. We're awful singers.

(Ballroom dancing with you was fun although I think we looked like idiots. We're pretty good dancers though—maybe because we were each other's partner? We're in sync, I suppose. You walked me to my seat, told me that later you'll dance with me again, and walked away with a smile. After seconds, I saw you walking towards me again. I didn't think you would come back and boldly sit next to me and funny how you asked me if you can sit beside me when you were already sitting. Pretty much in awe, I was.)

At the school at night. I'm still sure there was something there.

(That night. I'm sure we both lit the light that something has been finally expressed after a very long time. The way you look said it all. The way your eyes sparkled said it all. The way you held my waist and hand said it all. The way you smile with purity said it all.)

The falling snow, just like cherry blossoms.

(Time has passed; can we go back?)

It's strange to be a musician, but then to have your heart so filled by something that comes from off-stage.

(It's strange to be dancing with you. It feels surreal. The way you walked towards me and offer your hand to dance with me. I totally felt a slow-motion effect.)

They're unforgettable scenes to me. But they're such little things. It's weird, isn't it?

(They're unforgettable scenes to me. But do you also treasure them like I do? It's weird, isn't it?)

What do you think?

(What do you think?)

Do you think I made it into anyone's heart like that?

(Did I make it into your heart?)

I wonder if I made it into yours.

(I really wonder if I made it into yours.)

I wonder if you'll still remember me.

(I wonder if you'll still remember me.)

If you forget me, I'll just come back and...

(If you forget me, I'll just do the same and...)

No, I don't want to start over.

(No, I don't want to start over.)

Please don't forget me.

(Please don't forget me.)

Promise me you won't forget me.

(Promise me you won't forget me.)

I'm glad it was you.

(I'm glad it was you.)

I hope this reaches you, Arima Kousei.

(I hope this reaches you, my Kousei.)

I love you.

(I love you.)

I love you.

(I love you.)

I love you.

(I love you.)

I'm sorry we couldn't eat all those canelés.

(I'm sorry we couldn't have fun with our dream story films.)

I'm sorry I hit you so much.

(I'm sorry I demanded so much.)

I'm sorry I was selfish.

(I'm sorry I was selfish.)

I'm so, so, so, so sorry.

(I'm so, so, so, so, sorry.)

Thank you for everything.

(Thank you for everything.)

Miyazono Kaori

(Am I your Kaori?)

[kaylshunter]

You Would’ve Died. Eddie Munson

VOLUME 2 SPOILERS

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader 

Summary: You finally leave the house after Eddie’s death, but you bump into someone you never expected to

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: VOL 2 SPOILERS, awful writing, mentions of death, grieving, cursing, angst? (I don't know tell me if it is)

A/N: I'm sorry if this is shit. this is 1. my first ever one shot, so I really don’t know how this is gonna turn out and 2. my first ever Eddie Munson fanfic. I haven't wrote fan fiction in two years and I haven't wrote in about 10 months so i’m sorry if this is bad. 

I grab another two bags of chips and throw them into my cart. “Do we need anything else?” i ask my mom and she shakes her head ‘no’ “Y/N!” I hear my name being shouted, I look around and see Steve and Robin along with Dustin. “I’ll go pay for these, meet you in the car sweetie.” my mom says to me and I give her a faint smile.

“Hey guys.'' I say and Dustin gives me a hug “Hey dusty” i say faintly not wanting to talk incase i start to cry. “How have you been?” Steve asks me and I just nod “Uh I mean you know considering… i’ve been ok i guess” i shrug my shoulders not wanting to go into too much detail, he just nods knowing i don't want to talk about it.

“How uh, how are you guys? How’s Max?” guilt starts to set inside me knowing that i haven't been to the hospital to see her yet. “She’s I don't know how to put it. She’s in a coma. We all hope she will recover but as of right now the doctors aren't too sure that she will.” Steve says and i nod

“Guys. I'm sorry I haven't been around and that I haven't gone to see Max. I promise I will but uh, this is actually the first time I've been out of my bedroom since last week.” I quietly whisper. Robin walks over to me and puts an arm around me “Y/N… we haven't been judging you. Lucas wasn't the only person who lost someone that night. You need time to grieve. We understand. Take your time “Y/N” I softly smile.

“I better go guys. Mom is probably waiting for me. I’ll see you guys soon.” and with that, i walk out of the store and i walk to the car. “Sweetie are you ok?” I buckled my seatbelt and immediately burst into tears. “Oh honey” she states while rubbing my arm “He’s gone. I miss him. Mom, I loved him, I never got to tell him. Those three words.” I cry louder.

“Sweetheart. That boy knew damn rightly you loved him. He felt the same. I saw it with my own eyes. He looked at you the way your father used to look at me” i look over to her “Really?” I ask and she nods.

We arrived home. “Mom? I’m gonna go for a walk. I promise I'll be safe.” she shouts “That’s okay. Be back before dinner.”  I close the door and start my walk. I brought my walkman. I was listening to Master of Puppets. “He played Master of Puppets. Most metal ever.” i recall Dustin telling me when he visited me a couple days after.

“Come on sweetheart. You know I'll teach you as soon as I figure out how to play it okay?” Eddie says lightheartedly “Fine.” i pout he shakes his head “No no no, not that face. Come onnnn you know i can't resist that cute pout” he laughs and i giggle.

“Okay so I got Empire Strikes Back or The Breakfast Club? Which one?” he asks holding up the vhs tapes “Hmm Star Wars” he smiles “Good choice. Knew you'd pick it” i smiled looking at him “what?” he asks with an eyebrow raised as he sees me looking at him. “Nothing Eds, just happy i have you in my life.” he comes over to me and snuggles into me “And you're never losing me. You have me forever. Especially with one of my rings on your chain.”

I snap out of the memories. I did lose him, the only thing I have of him is his ring. I wipe a tear from my face as I walk into the hospital. I ask where Max’s room is and head there. I stop at the door. I don't know how I'm going to see her in this state. I walk in and see Lucas. As soon as he sees me he runs up and hugs me.

“Easy there tiger” I smile and wink, he rolls his eyes “Y/N stop with the tiger jokes” he smiles. “Well how else am i supposed to make mr sinclair smile?” i say. That's when he realises that I'm right. “I’m glad you're here.” “So am I, Lucas. I’m sorry, it took me so long. I didn't mean to be selfish.”

“Hey. I get it, he was the love of your life. Trust me you were definitely his. Anytime we played dnd and you phoned needing him he cancelled it then and there. He would've done anything for you… he did.” he says and i look at him with tears “Yea, he did.” i say. I sit at the end of Max’s bed and hold her hand.

“I’m gonna get some coffee, do you want some?” he asks and i nod with that he leaves. “Oh Maxi, I need you. You were my fireball. You kept me on my feet, I know it took me a while to come see you, but it hurt. When I found out that e- he wasn't the only one that died that night. Fuck, it almost killed me.”

“When I found out that El saved you, I was so happy. I may have lost him, but at least I still had my fireball. You would've liked my brother, not the way you like Lucas. More the way you like Eddie or Steve, he was a lot like them. But he was also a fireball. He used to be my fireball, he’s gone now. Car accident. I hate saying it but I think I'm glad he wasn't here to have to witness everything.” i wiped away my tears.

“I haven't heard you talk about Conor since you were a sophomore.” Lucas says “Fuck. Lucas, you nearly gave me a heart attack.” he hands me my coffee, i nod “I know, it still kinda hurts to talk about him.” he nods “Did he ever meet Conor?” i shake my head “That's how we met. I was alone in the cafeteria, after Conor died people didn't want to talk to me, his friends left me to grieve by myself, he was probably rolling in his grave at them.” i laugh

“He came up to me one day, and from then we were best of friends. Only i had my eye on him since freshman year, he was a junior so when he came up to me I was a stuttering mess but that was the start of it. I think Conor would've loved him” Lucas smiles “He would've been protective” i giggle “Definitely.” Erika, Steve, Robin and Dustin come in.

“Oh hey! I was about to get ready to leave.” I get up and give Lucas a hug. “I'll be back soon I promise and I'll tell more stories if you buy me more coffee deals?” he nods “You got a deal Y/L/N” I go over to Erika “Hey Miss Applejack” she smiles “hi “Y/N” I give her a hug “Bye guys.” “Y/N wait up.. Can I drive you home?” Steve asks after running after me I shake my head “I have one last place to go before i go home and i need to go alone.” he nods and i leave. Towards the school.

I get to the bench “Oh Eds i miss you.”

*ONE WEEK EARLIER*

“Where the fuck did he go?” i ask “now's not the time for questions Y/L/N” Steve says. We start to run back to Eddie’s trailer. I stop when I hear sobbing. I see Dustin “DUSTIN!” I shout and he sees me he limps towards me turning me around “Dustin what's wrong?” I look around and see a body laying on the ground.

I walk closer “Please Y/N don't”. Too late. I drop to my knees screaming “EDDIE” i say tugging his chest “Please no no. You don't get to do this. You promised me that you wouldn't leave me.” Steve lifts me and I thrash “NO! HE NEEDS ME!” i scream “Y/N we need to go”

We get back to Hawkins and Eddie’s trailer is already ripped apart. I quickly ran to his room “Y/N COME ON!” I grab half of his clothes and stuff them in a bag. I grab his tapes, his secret stash of weed. And lastly I grab his guitar and get out of the trailer “What were you thinking?” Steve screams and Nancy tries to calm him down.

“Keeping sentimental stuff! I don't know if you've realised but i just lost the love of my goddamn life. The least you could do is to let me take some things to remember him by.” i saw  tears streaming down my face before walking to my house.

*PRESENT*

“God, why did you have to take him away from me? He was my person. I needed him. I still do.” I cry into my hands “why did you have to fight? You always said there was no shame in running. Eds why?”

“Because sweetheart. You would've died.” my breath hitches as I hear the familiar voice. I turn around and see him.

[ohemgeeitscoley]

The love lasts so long (1/1)

Fandom: Star Wars

Pairing: Rey/Ben Solo (Reylo)

Note: Written for the Reylo/Folklore Drabble Collection. I am in love with all of the songs on Folklore and have been super inspired to write by the album. I’m super happy I got to be a part of this collaboration and I can’t wait to see what everyone else puts together.

@andyouweremine​ is hands down one of the best betas and friends in the world. Thanks for jumping in and adding all of the commas for me. You’re the best and I love you a lot. 

Read below or on AO3

"You're home late," Rey mutters softly as she feels the bed shift under Ben's weight. She’s not quite awake; she couldn't open her eyes fully if she tried. 

"I know," Ben pulls her into his arms, pressing a kiss against the slope of her neck. "I tried to leave, I really did. There's just so much to do, and that promotion… Rey if I can get that promotion it'll be so good for us—”

Rey shakes her head, slowly moving away from Ben so she can sit up, glance at the clock, and look down at him. There's tears burning in her eyes and her stomach is in knots. 

She's angry. 

She's so, so angry.

"It's almost 3 am, Ben. You haven't been home before midnight in months. It's like living with a ghost." Rey bites down on her lower lip. "I don't want to hear about your job or a promotion. It's just another reminder that you'll somehow need to be there more than you already are and I'll just be here alone waiting for you."

Ben looks hurt for a moment. But then Rey watches as he controls his face, and then his face is the calm and cool mask that he used to never put on around her.

"I'm doing this for us," Ben says. There's no emotion or passion in his voice. It's the same voice she hears in the mornings before he goes to work when he’s practicing his arguments in the bathroom. It's calm and precise and meant for a courtroom. "For our future. I know I have been gone more than usual, but I hardly think it's fair to compare me to a ghost. Once I get the promotion things are going to be different, I'll be home more. We can really start planning the wedding—"

Rey snorts, getting out of bed. "Stop, Ben, just stop," Rey begs, wiping her hands against her face to push away the tears that have started falling. "That's what you said before you got promoted to senior associate. This is what I've been hearing for the last eighteen months. And you know what? Nothing has changed. Nothing is better. And I can't keep doing this."

Ben's face cracks, and Rey can see for a moment just how scared he is by what she's saying. He scrambles to get out of the bed, reaching his hand out to touch her. Rey steps out of his reach, shaking her head as she wraps her arms around her stomach. 

"What are you saying, Rey?" Ben asks, and his voice sounds defeated.  

"I don't, I don't know," Rey admits, staring at the ground. "It's late. I'm going to go sleep in the guest room. You should go to bed. You have court in the morning."

Rey waits just a moment for Ben to stop her, to pull her back into bed and his arms like he used to do when they fought, but Ben remains still on the bed. So she walks out of the room, closes the door and goes to the other room without pause.

A part of her still believes that Ben will come get her, that she'll wake up with him beside her at least. 

But she wakes up alone at 6:45 am and Ben is already gone. 

***

Rey finds Ben sitting on his favorite bench in the park down the street from their home. It's early. The sun is just starting to paint the sky as it begins to rise. 

They still haven't talked about the fight from the week before. If anything, Ben had been coming home even later and leaving even earlier since then. Rey wasn't even positive he came home at all some nights.

She'd slept in the guest room every night since anyway.

Rey sits down next to him, holding her hand out for him to take. 

He doesn't. 

"I've thought about what you said," Ben says after a few minutes, circling his thumbs while he talks. "And I think you're right, this isn't working anymore."

For a second Rey is filled with hope, believing that Ben finally sees how toxic his job is and that he's finally, finally going to quit, but then-

"I can move out, obviously. It'll be easier for me to find a new place, and the firm has places for witnesses that we fly in that I can stay at for a while."

Rey's heart plummets as she panics. He's breaking up with her. That's not what she wants. It's not what she meant when she said she couldn't do this anymore.

She's going to be sick.

"Ben, stop," Rey stands up, pacing in front of him as she tries to process what he's saying. "I don't, I don't want this. I love you. I didn't mean I couldn't do this." She moves her index finger back and forth between them. "I meant your job. Your job is ruining us."

"I can't leave my job, Rey," he sighs, running his hand through his hair. "I have nothing without my job."

"You have me."

"No, I don't." Ben shrugs, as if he's stating a common truth and not the biggest lie that he's ever said to her. "You're miserable at home. I'm never there and you're right, that's not something that's going to get better. I can't balance our relationship and my job, and it's hurting you. It has been hurting you. I already lost you, Rey. This is just me admitting it. And setting you free."

"I'm standing right here Ben," Rey points out, placing her hands on his shoulders. "You haven't lost me. I'm right here."

"For now, maybe," Ben keeps his head down and pulls away from Rey's touch. "But you're not sleeping in our room anymore Rey. You pulled away from us too. You have been for months. I think this is what you want, you're just too scared to admit it."

"No," Rey gets out between gritted teeth. "You do not get to do this. You do not get to sit there and attempt to blame this on me. I am not the one doing this. If you do this Ben, if you walk away from us, that is on you. It is not on me."

"You're the one—" Ben starts but Rey is hardly listening, shaking her head.

"No. No, I am not," Rey interrupts him. "Snoke is doing this. And you just are in denial if you can't see that, Ben. He has you so convinced that I'm a distraction or that you are, what, unworthy of my love?"

Rey waits, but Ben says nothing. He keeps his eyes glued to the floor and that just further fuels Rey's anger. The acid in her throat burns as he remains silent.

"Well, here's a secret," Rey sighs, reaching out to grab Ben's hand. "I've been in love with you since I was seven years old, Ben Solo. And if you think I'm just going to stop loving you because you are being an idiot and because you have let some asshole get into your head and convince you that you aren't worthy of that and that I am holding you back… you're just wrong."

Tears start to escape Rey's eyes when Ben looks up at her. His eyes are full of disbelief and it kills a part of her. The idea that somehow he could even begin to doubt how she feels about him, how much she needs him, after all of these years hurts her more than anything.

"There is nothing, nothing you can do, Ben, to change how I feel about you," Rey squeezes Ben's hand. "I love you today. I loved you yesterday. I'll love you tomorrow. I loved you when we were ten playing pirates in your tree house. I loved you when we were thirteen and you wore braids in your hair and you liked to first practice new braids on me. I loved you when you were haunted by the emptiness and ghosts in your home when we were sixteen. Ben, I have loved you my entire life and I'm not just going to stop."

"Rey," Ben chokes out and Rey realizes that he is crying too. "I can't give you the life you deserve and the only way I can is to keep this job that you hate—"

"Stop," Rey breathes, kneeling down until she is eye level with Ben. "I hate your job, Ben. I hate what it does to you. I hate that you have somehow convinced yourself that leaving me is the best option. That you have it on your head that a world without you is somehow better for me is something I can't understand. And you are good enough. My love isn't something that you can deserve, it's something that I chose to give and you don't have any say in that anymore, Ben. I don't care about your job, or the money, or whatever material things you buy me. I care about you. All I want is you."

Ben says nothing again. Rey's leg is cramping from the way she is squatting. The morning dew is shining on the grass underneath the bench Ben is sitting on. 

"So leave me. Keep working for Snoke and being miserable and working too late and waiting for your big break when you finally get everything you want," Rey drops his hand. "But I won't be there, Ben. If that's what you want, if that's what will make you happy… a future without me. Then okay. I can live with that," Rey's voice breaks and she reaches up to wipe the tears off her cheeks. "I'll learn to live with that. But you don't have to. You can take my hand and our love can last. Ben, our love can last so long."

Rey swallows while Ben remains quiet. She waits for him to say something, to say anything. She waits, and she waits, and she waits. It feels like her heart is actually splitting in half the longer that she waits and the longer Ben remains silent.

Choking back a sob, Rey nods to herself since Ben hasn't looked up from the ground since he told her it was over. 

Over. Over. Over. Over.

Rey takes a step back, her vision blurring as new tears flood to the service. 

"Okay," she whispers, taking another step away from him. "I love you. I hope, I hope some part of you always knows that. And I'll wait for you. I can't—" Rey takes a deep breath, trying to keep her voice steady. "I can't promise that I'll wait forever? But when you decide that enough is enough and you leave Snoke, because you will, Ben. You will leave one day. If maybe then you still think of me…"

Rey's sentence trails off while she looks up at the morning sky. "Right," she whispers, mostly to herself. And she turns. She turns away from Ben and begins to walk away and each step is harder than last. 

She's halfway through the park when she hears someone run up behind her. Then she feels his hand grab into hers as he turns her around to face him. 

"I'll quit," he says quietly and his voice is raw. His face is red and blotchy and he's still crying when he pulls her into his arms. Rey doesn't fight him, she buries her head into his chest and sobs. "On Monday, first thing. I'll quit."

Rey nods, wrapping her arms around his neck and tries to pull him closer to her.

"I have no idea how to fix this, babe," Ben whispers, pressing a faint kiss into her hair, his arms squeezing her tightly. "I don't know where to start, I'm so scared that I can't. That it's too late. That I've ruined us—"

"We'll figure it out together," Rey promises, kissing his shirt just above his heart.

"You really still believe our love can last?"

"So long," Rey answers. "Our love will last so long."

[rockshitty]

So this story actually starts in October of 2015 with Ben asking his girlfriend Ashley to marry him. He does it in a very public way, everyone claps, and the couple is over the moon. Until that December, when Ashley accuses Ben of cheating on her with her best friend, Melissa. Ben swears on his mother's grave that he would never, and we believe him, and defend him against the accusations. They split up, and everyone forgets about it until, eh, give or take June of 2016 when Melissa announces that she's 8 months pregnant. It's Ben's. The rest of us do some quick math and realize that December is a lot less than 8 months before June and, uh, we fucked up when we defended Ben. So Ben and Melissa are on cloud nine because they're expecting a little bundle of joy, the rest of us are on eggshells because we're all aware that they've been cheating together since around when Ben asked Ashley to marry him, and my dumb ass gets curious. I wanted to know who was the biggest piece of shit in this sandwich.

"Hey Melissa. Did you and Ben start sleeping together before or after Ben asked a different woman to marry him?"

She leaves crying, which is fair, and I never hear from her again. Ben cusses me out, leaves also crying, and I don't hear from him again for a couple years.

Meanwhile, my own relationship is in a state. I'm dating two boys, polyamorous trio, a closed trio. One of us, Caleb, doesn't get the memo that it's closed for him too, he cheats on me and Alex, and we kick him out of the triad in a huge messy break up. Then I find out that Alex and Caleb have hated each other for a while but didn't want to break up because they were certain I was going to choose one of them over the other and neither wanted to be left behind, which is, uh, healthy. So Alex and I are dating, but a wedge is growing between us because of my frankly terrible mental health and his less than livable home life. He dumps me and moves to Seattle a month later. Last I heard he's doing great. At this point, I am single and have been dumped in a really bad way, and I go on the rebound.

Enter Mike. Mike is 40 years old to my 25. Mike is also gothically in love with me, has money to burn, and is also on the rebound after his last girlfriend stabbed him. (By the way, tip for life, if a guy ever asks you out by telling you he's obsessed with you, fucking run.) We get into a semi-contentious relationship that's weird for a lot of reasons. One of them is the age difference. Another is the fact that our two nerd subcultures have deep hatred for each other.

He's head of the local star wars society, I'm head of the local larp, and the star wars group has had deep beef with the larp since the premiere of Revenge of the Sith when the local larp group threw together some pretty good cosplays and made a showing at opening night, got their pictures on the front page of the local paper, and basically stole the spotlight from the people who do this semi-professionally.

As a note I was 12 years old in 2005, in a different city, with no idea that larping existed.

Anyway, Romeo and Juliet are in a weird double rebound together, fighting constantly, making up with lavish gifts, not able to tell their nerd cores about it because we'll either heal the rift of be excommunicated and there's no way to tell which. We break up after a screaming fight two months in and I ghost him.

This entire time I had two facebook accounts, one for my real life, one for my larp character. Mike is only friends with the RL one, Ben is friends with both but has only blocked me on the Larp one because he forgot my real name immediately after learning it. Ghosting Mike involves blocking him with the RL account and then basically abandoning it so his friends will stop harassing me. I haven't logged into it since 2017.

In late 2018, Melissa cheats on Ben, surprising absolutely everyone. They break up and she gets downgraded from Girlfriend to Baby Mama. Ben tries to get back in contact with me, but doesn't know how to unblock someone on facebook, so he figures out my real name again and tries to message me on the abandoned account. I, obviously, don't answer, and he gets pissed that I don't want to make an effort to patch up our friendship.

In 2019 he finally manages to contact me by going to the larp I go to at the same time every single week and have been the entire time, seriously, day and time hasn't changed in two decades, tell me he's broken up with her and that I was right, cheating isn't worth it. We patch things up well enough to not be at each other's throats.

I explain the thing with Mike. Turns out Mike and Ben also have unrelated beef about bellydancing. Ben was briefly involved with one local bellydancing troupe that Mike used to do photography for, until a bellydancer used his photos without his permission, it blew up, and now he's persona non grat with that troupe. Ben has adopted that beef and holds it with extreme prejudice.

So as of 2021, Ben and I have made up well enough to sword fight weekly, Mike and I still aren't talking, Ben and Mike are fight on sight, Melissa has threatened to knife me if I say one more word to her, I have no idea what happened to Ashley, Caleb and the girl he cheated with whose name I never learned are living together, I'm close enough to friends with Caleb that we hang out more than once a year, and I'm engaged to the guy I've been dating since 2018, who has somehow managed to stay friends with everyone in this stupid story.

The only person who actually made out okay in this nonsense is Alex, because he moved to the other side of the country before things could really get rolling. We're also still mutuals on tumblr.

How's it going, dude?

Thinking about the truly insane number of beefs I was involved in back in 2016-2017, and realized that they are, in fact, all connected.