#i haven't had therapy in 2 months as well and I don't have a primary care doctor meanwhile I need one because I'm on medications for my

[giftedpoison]

sometimes I forget I grew up poor

and then some guy who was able to go through out of state college and work a job tells me, for him, traveling outside the country to somewhere like Ireland is not a pipe dream.

like jesus christ (he said he was in dublin for vacation, I said love that for you living that pipedream life, and he told me it would only be a pipedream if i was also there. Which I think he meant as a flirtation but came off kind of dickish.)

[clockworksteel]

End of the year evaluation/new goals

Well, it's the end of the year again. Honestly, it's been a rough one. There was work stress associated with being trained on a software framework that was new to me (React) in a language I've done little in (Javascript), there was a Return to Office policy at work, and my housemate's health issues resulted in a number of emergency trips, some of which required either pickup or dropoff at 1 AM. Much vacation time was burned either recovering or actually making trips to doctors and the ER. Plus there were all the things that I already mentioned happened in January like needing to maintain my water heater and get a warranty repair done on a recliner.

Still, despite the quality of the year, some progress was made on some things. Looking at last year's post on goals there were 5 things I mentioned, although one was just "Skincare?". To briefly summarize, the others were:

Continue considering gender

Learn to cook

Add physical therapy exercises to my exercise

Improve my Youtube audio

In terms of gender stuff, this the year I first tried on a dress (no image in that post, and also I now own two), and also the year I started getting permanent hair removal done (although electrolysis is a slow process and in 4 months of sessions we're still just on the lower part of the neck). I've also had a number of dreams in which I'm transfem which is interesting. They seem to come in bursts. I had 3 in the first two weeks of this month, actually. I haven't made as much progress as I'd like, but this certainly wasn't neglected, despite never feeling like I reclaimed the spirit of possibility like I had near the end of 2022.

As far as cooking, we actually did Hello Fresh for the full duration of a discout code, with me being the primary thing-doer once a week. I certainly relied a lot on my housemate's expertise even though the days were theoretically "mine", but I feel like even just practicing some knife skills was valuable for cooking confidence. Plus I cooked chicken without poisoning anyone. There are currently plans for me to continue cooking on Saturdays (as in actually cooking at least one thing: I also handle the Friday and Sunday meals but it's all frozen stuff). Since my housemate is on a lower sodium diet (probably good for me too), actually cooking things sort of has to be a habit for at least some of the days.

Regarding exercise, this is probably the one area I got worse. I am at least making sure to do some of my old physical therapy exercises just enough that it feels like my shoulder isn't getting worse, but the entire rest of my exercise routine dropped off. It's been an exhausting year, and the way the electrolysis appointments routinely wipe out a few hours every Saturday isn't helping with finding time for things.

On the subject of my Youtube videos' audio I didn't do much, but it wasn't that much of a problem. I think my volume levels between the game sound and the microphone sound have been generally better balanced this year than in the past. That's pretty much all I wanted.

For skincare… well, I do more than last year, but don't have much of a routine. An area that could be improved but honestly I just don't think I care that much and this will not be a goal for next year.

Besides the goals I wrote out last year, some other accomplishments of varying sizes: -Actually got my heating system inspected like I should have been doing routinely -Fixed the slow-draining issue in the shower drain -Got back into Challenge Enthusiasts and earned a little over 200 challenge points, putting me not only in the C ranking but well on my way to B -Beat New Game Plus 100 in Rogue Legacy 2 as well as earned a gold trophy in its True Rogue mode

For next year, let's call these the goals:

Have some sort of exercise habit again, ideally with at least one cardio day and at least one physical therapy stuff day

Take care of at least one longstanding thing in the house: the porch needs painted, the attic could use some blinds to keep the sun out in the summer (probably more effective than insulating, and I already bought the blinds), and the back door could use a new auto-closer (again, already bought)

Clear the stacks of papers from my desk without simply increasing the amount of papers in my room (that is, things should be filed in the cabinet or disposed of)

Make some more progress on gender stuff, like try a couple more new things or at least spend some time seriously considering things

Earn at least 100 more Challenge Enthusiasts points

Finish Factorio and at least one other game that I haven't played in over 4 months

A longer numbered list than last year but two of them are "play video games" goals. It's more like both this list and last year's had a length of 4.

At any rate, hopefully we all have better luck next year.