#i haven't felt this way in a really long time until agatha all along

[goodnightmemes]

AGATHA ALL ALONG SENTENCE STARTERS

❛ You don't seem like yourself. ❜

❛ If you wanna be in control, you can be. ❜

❛ Is this really how you see yourself? ❜

❛ Do you remember why you hate me? ❜

❛ The things that you're roasting me for are the things that make me dangerous. ❜

❛ How long have I been here? ❜

❛ Call me "nosy," I'll cut out your tongue. ❜

❛ Can you put on some clothes? 'Cause you... 'Cause you're naked. ❜

❛ Do you remember pain? It kind of tickles, doesn't it? ❜

❛ Maybe I can't kill you, but I can make you wish you were dead. ❜

❛ I am not the only one that wants to see you dead. ❜

❛ Ugh! It really warms the heart. ❜

❛ You don't have a heart. ❜

❛ Be sure to tell the vengeance-seekers I said hi. ❜

❛ That's why I saved you from the spell you were under. ❜

❛ Wherever you are, a coven there shall be. ❜

❛ I feel really optimistic about this. ❜

❛ So you're a bit of a kook. Every witch has their process. ❜

❛ Witches like you are the reason people think we poison apples, and steal children, and eat babies. ❜

❛ Don't you miss the glory days? ❜

❛ The path you're currently on leads nowhere. ❜

❛ Hey! Where do you keep your jade eggs? I'm fresh out of marbles, and my pelvic floor is all over the place. ❜

❛ I haven't seen you since I made a really pointed effort to never run into you again.❜

❛ Historically, we as a group don't do well in courtrooms. ❜

❛ People like you are dangerous. ❜

❛ Are there any real witches in the house? ❜

❛ What a team of rejects. ❜

❛ This is just a really, really, really horrible party. ❜

❛ It's giving "middle-aged second chance at love" vibes and I'm here for it. ❜

❛ Okay, so a witch is really just another name for a bad girl, is that right? ❜

❛ I'm not saying that I wanna join the club or anything, but I would drink the blood of a virgin if it would smooth out some of these wrinkles. ❜

❛ So the hallucinations seem chill. ❜

❛ I can't protect you! ❜

❛ I do not wanna die here. This is not where I die. ❜

❛ They can take your power, but they can't take your knowledge. ❜

❛ I didn't think you had it in you. ❜

❛ We were supposed to look out for each other, but we didn't. That was our fatal mistake. ❜

❛ I wish we could go home. ❜

❛ People can't be replaced. ❜

❛ Are we in trouble? Like, more than we were ten minutes ago? ❜

❛ Honestly, I don't know how to feel. Do I hate her? Or do I want her phone number? ❜

❛ I'm feeling impatient. I'm feeling like I wanna cause some damage. ❜

❛ Once vengeance is loosed, you can't reel it back in. ❜

❛ The only way to end a curse is to face it. ❜

❛ Sad is better than angry. ❜

❛ You don't have to know a person's name to know who they are. ❜

❛ Are you really defending a noted serial killer, you creepy lurker? ❜

❛ The moral of the story, kids, is always finish what you started. Also, mercy is overrated. ❜

❛ Who better to commune with the dead than someone who's put so many in the grave? ❜

❛ I mean, or we could just slit her throat. ❜

❛ But we were getting along, weren't we? We were clicking. There was unity. ❜

❛ She's possessed! For real this time! ❜

❛ I hate ghosts. ❜

❛ Why do you hate me still?❜

❛ You were born evil. ❜

❛ Please take me with you. ❜

❛ She was protecting you. But you don't deserve it. ❜

❛ I couldn't... I couldn't control it. ❜

❛ Death comes for us all. ❜

❛ You're so much like your mother. ❜

❛ We love you more than we could ever hope to communicate in human words. ❜

❛ You don't need to be a psychic to see that you're a good egg. ❜

❛ Enjoy the now, baby. It's the only thing that's certain. ❜

❛ Nothing in my life has felt normal until I met you. ❜

❛ I want you to know the real me. ❜

❛ You're so adorably trusting. ❜

❛ Word to the wise, don't go sniffing around there. ❜

❛ You seriously don't know what kind of crazy that lady eats for breakfast. ❜

❛ I panicked, so I ran. ❜

❛ Could we, like, maybe not, with the physical violence? ❜

❛ Power doesn't interest me. ❜

❛ Yeah. Well, what you did was ehhh … but life goes on. Yours, anyway. ❜

❛ I mean, I've killed...uh...my share. But you don't see it holding me back. ❜

❛ Don't you dare feel guilty about your talent. You survived. ❜

❛ So you broke the rules. Big deal. That's what kept you alive. That's what makes you special. ❜

❛ I don't need you anymore. I don't know if I ever did. ❜

❛ If you really wanna finish this together, just know that I do not trust you. At all. ❜

❛ You'll get a nosebleed trying that hard to read my mind. ❜

❛ Hey, you want straight answers, ask a straight lady. ❜

❛ Tell me what more I should see, when I look at you. ❜

❛ You know, we really hated each other from the beginning. But now...I love you, guys. ❜

❛ I'm a forgotten woman. ❜

❛ Death comes for us all. It is what we all have in common. ❜

❛ I can see all the pieces falling into place. The gaps are filling in. ❜

❛ I'm telling you now because soon I'm not going to remember any of this. ❜

❛ I hope you'll join me. ❜

❛ I needed you. My coven. ❜

❛ What can I say? I like the bad boys. ❜

❛ I loved being a witch. ❜

❛ That's it? That's all the... That's all the time I get? ❜

❛ This can't be the end. It has to be the beginning. ❜

❛ I watch you. Just as closely as you watch everyone else. ❜

❛ No one in history has had special treatment like you. ❜

❛ You gave me nothing. You took. ❜

❛ Why do you let them believe those things about you, hmm? ❜

❛ What fresh horrors await us! ❜

❛ You seem relaxed. Usually at this point you're either complaining loudly or freaking out loudly. ❜

❛ It's nice. That feeling when your body knows it's safe. ❜

❛ Sometimes...boys die. ❜

❛ Congratulations, my love! I'm sorry I didn't have a ribbon for you to run through. ❜

❛ Why don't you want me? ❜

❛ Power looks good on you. ❜

❛ You do this and I will hate you forever. ❜

❛ Please let him live. Please, my love! ❜

❛ If you want to survive, get used to this feeling. ❜

❛ I cannot protect you from what's coming. ❜

❛ I saw you die. ❜

❛ And now, I'm a ghost. Can you dig it? ❜

❛ By the way, I did not sacrifice myself for you. I took a calculated risk. ❜

❛ You're making fun of me. This is just one of your tricks. ❜

❛ You have something of mine. I know you took it. ❜

❛ Why are you still here? Why won't you just die? ❜

❛ I'm sure he would forgive you for... whatever you did. ❜

❛ We could make a good team. You and me. ❜

[the-cemetery-researcher]

Progress update 24/01/2022

So less than a week into this and I've already missed 2 days of updates because I failed to do any work on those days.

Saturday I was at the Coffin Works - I had an absolute blast and it went smoothly enough that one of the 2 cups of tea I drank was still hot!! I can't believe the things which I remembered - my fingers still do the safecode on muscle memory alone - and I knew the password to the access card system which I definitely haven't used since 2019! Lots of things are different - and some lovely new volunteers - but still an amazing amount of things that have stayed the same. I was glad to be back.

I got home, cooked and then knew I shold start doing thesis work, but somhow couldn't make myself. I sat in front of the TV instead feeling really tired (why was I tired after such an easy day?) and then instead of going to bed early I just continued to vegetate until late and watch old episodes of Great British Sewing Bee.

The pattern continued on Sunday- I didn't get up until the afternoon, didn't even cook, and other than ordering some groceries and cleaning the bathroom, did barely anything productive. I just felt really out of sorts. Then my belated Christmas gift from Ash's dad dropped through the letterbox... I love Ursula K Le Guin but somehow had never read Left Hand of Darkness. I stayed up til nearly 2am and read it all in one sitting. It's been a long time since I did that with a book - even though I have always been an avid reader. During the pandemic I've found it really difficult to read - I've reread some old favourite books I've read before, also a fair number of Young Adult and kid's books and listened to many audiobooks (all the Agatha Christie from the library at least 5 times, it's the only way I can sleep these days) but reading has been a chore. So apparently I can read again for fun now, but only if I do it when I'm supposed to be working and in a midly self destructive way!

I got up a bit late this morning because of that, but did actually sit down at my desk by 10.30am. Shout out to Coralie - without your twitter DM I probably would have languished some more.

I wanted to get all the Highgate data stuff done by Sunday didn't I? Then I spectacularly failed to even try! I managed to get about half of the remaining amount done today - it would have been more but I also realised I forgot to put scale bars on my other grave plans and had to go back and tinker with those. I felt like my pace was pretty slow today, but other than meals, I've been at my desk for about 10 or 11 hours so it did eventually add up.

I'm pretty sure I'll get the rest of this data entry done tomorrow - it's definitely getting easier as I go along because most of these graves now it's just a couple of tweaks per entry once the plan is drawn.

Today I also emailed Highgate and got sent the photos of the inscription I missed when I was there last - thank you Ian!! I also found a cool grave which I wanted to tell them about. In Highgate East, square 88 - near John Lobb, one of the graves I was recording was for Daniel and Rachel Williams Norris. After Rachel's name was 'R.R.C' which wasn't an abbreviation I was familiar with so I googled it and about haflway down a long list of things which definitely weren't possibilites was 'Royal Red Cross' and a quick glance at Wiki told me this is a medal given for military nursing - with the 1st recipient being Florence Nightingale.

I didn't have a date of death for Rachel Williams Norris as the bottom of the stone is partially buried, but based on her husband dying in 1891 aged 56, there were plenty of possibilities -but one of them was definitely that she could have been in Crimea. I googled Rachel Williams Norris and found an archive record for letters written to her by Florence Nightingale. I really hope someone from Highgate goes to read them! I wish I had time!! I think it's really cool that nurses got recognised with a medal, and that the Norris family were proud enough of Rachel's medal to list it on her grave - so few women have a profession or title noted in their inscription so it's extra special. It also seemed a shame to me that only fully qualified nurses received the medal, so Mary Seacole would not have been eligable. If you don't know about Mary Seacole, I highly recommend the You're Dead To Me episode about her life. That podcast has been a big favourite of mine during the last couple of years and another late night listen for me. I was glad to learn more about her- especially because when I was volunteering at the school doing covid testing our testing centre was called the Seacole Centre!

Late going to bed again tonight. Let's hope I can be productive again tomorrow. Maybe I'll even put on clothes? I sat in my dressing gown all day today! Hopefully I'll also be in a better mood. I was still really out of sorts. Felt unfair to Ash because he was able to come home from work early, and I wasn't even very excited to see him. Just faintly annoyed at the distraction and then guilty for feeling like that. I'm going to leave him a note to apologise on his chair so he finds it when he gets dressed tomorrow at 6am. I know I'm being a nightmare to live with at the moment, but I can't seem to shake it off.