#i have so much respect for philza
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i have so many thoughts about the tommy song/video and theyre a jumbled mess. i wouldnt call this an analysis this is just. most of my thoughts surrounding the video and what it shows about tommy
one of the things that stuck out to me (outside of how depressing and just like. is this guy okay) is something that ive always respected tommy for because he's always stuck with it and its his like. fervent conviction in people doing things theyre passionate about. thats always been one of the things he talks about all the time!!!
when AI started appearing he was talking about death of creativity, with the internet he's always talking about how the real tragedy is the algorithm killing people's passion by driving them with views and money, and even when he talks about youtube itself, and nowadays standup, its so full of passion.
and i think thats really important because it would be extremely easy for someone like tommy, who's in the process of maturing his online image from a very loud, immature and PASSIONATE persona, to make fun of it. it would be so easy to do like so many other creators and laugh at how "cringe" it was and make a quick cash/attention grab with a funny clip of him laughing at himself. but he never has. well don't get me wrong he's laughed at himself or old videos but it's always just. good natured taking the piss out of himself, it's never this like. mocking your younger self who was so excited to do what they did only because now its "cringe".
not only is he constantly giving that advice to other people (its been years of him replying, to any kid in his chat or donations asking advice on how to be a creator etc, "just go and do it if you love it!!"), he's coherent with how he applies it to himself. he realised he was making cash grab tiktok react vids and hated it so much he just stopped uploading for a while.
i dont know i just think there's something admirable about being able to still be sincere in a time where everything especially online has to be processed through a layer of irony. and its even funnier because he's more sincere THROUGH the irony i mean he's literally going into standup.
letting yourself create something that "means" something is fucking hard especially when half the internet still sees you as a kid who screams around. except the thing is that kid DID make stuff that mattered and that meant something because he was, in his own words, having fun.
i think thats what the format of the video was about too. i mean i think it was pretty clearly not a song thats meant to be streamed, its not purely music, its also a video because tommy is also first and foremost an editor who went to film college. its also not a "comedy" song like he's made some before, because those were all intentionally created to land as many jokes and make a big buzz— which doesnt mean they were bad! im philza is a contemporary lyrical masterpiece. but they had a specific purpose and it was to make people laugh and i think this video was completely like. opposite of what peoples expectations are of tommy. the "wow hes not a child anymore hes being mature🤓" reactions are the most obvious aspect of this (which, like, its been a while, get with the program).
i think the point of this was to make something that genuinely meant something but that was also like. as unpalatable to the algorithm and to the TommyInnit Viewer as possible. even now that he's gone into making quieter, more reflective videos, we've never had the flashing texts and the projector images and just all of that. hes always talking about how he hates the way the "youtube formula" has dictated the course of content and stolen all creativity for youtubers. its not meant to be a YouTube Video tm. its just meant to mean something to someone, and obviously process some sort of personal emotions, and i just think thats. yeah. yeah
i mean he even says so outright. "this needless, self indulgent spiral of self gratification" is pretty damn explicit. its not meant to be funny content its really a cry for help or for just. anything at all really
it was also a lot about perception, yknow the "entertainer" dilemma, "its all attention porn"... theres a layer of this point thats universal, everyone struggles with how they're perceived and i think any "artist" or "entertainer" figure can see themselves in it, but there's also a layer thats completely impermeable to most of us because it touches upon the sheer absurdity of a "youtuber". especially one of tommy's popularity. especially one who blew up so so fast so young. i honestly think its IMPOSSIBLE to process that. its about the ethics of having millions of people's time so readily available to you if you just press the right buttons to make the algorithm happy and then you've got them. im like 75% sure i remember him saying this on stream once, something like "your time is valuable" and if a fan didnt value him as an entertainer they should drop him.
and even here^ thats the saddest "lmao" ive seen in my life SORRY LOL but its really just. yeah im not gonna repeat myself it speaks for itself. perception and internet expectations and all that
one of the other images that stuck out to me was also this:
"yeah i know its too much like bo burnham but it wont be in a year though. in a year it will be like tom simons. just let me figure out what that means, ok?"
a lot of the video is about. influences and inspirations. the bo burnham references are so obvious he's poking at them, but i think he's raising a good point about the creativity that he's constantly praising. its never something that springs up on its own, its all about looking at others work and making it your own and feeding yourself with all those experiences and slowly, surely building your own way of doing things (tommyinnit "minecraft talent show" and "a tribute to dream smp" serial quackity + schlatt impersonator would know all about that) ->
and its daunting! its fucking scary to move away from that! which is also the main vibe i got from the video which, outside of his own issues with how he's perceived online, was the sort of existential dread that comes with actually creating. its one thing to preach you need to be passionate and create, its another to sit down and create something thats BY you. its a part of growing up! and we're literally seeing him do it live (well the bits that he chooses to show obviously)! thats also part of why i think tommy's so relatable to so many people is that he's so like. honest and real about what it's like to grow up, simple as that, and growing into yourself.
"this was everything to me" and using the picture of his younger self... man. theres obviously so much sadness underlying the whole thing but i think the nostalgia and melancholy in mourning being someone who was only inspired/excited by your interests and role models is universal. and obviously for tommy a lot of those influences turned out. well i think it was pretty damn clear who/what he was referring to here. ->
i don't think i need to go too in detail about that, especially cause a lot of the video was clearly a way to process his own personal emotions. especially with those next few images. i just hope he's okay and that god doubles his pain and gives it to mr beast to quote my friend bronzetomatoes. man.
of course he had to end with a funny clip about a hot anime girl and i think that kinda. sums it all up in a way. if that makes sense. at the end of the day its about the fact that he has to use humour to make the thing work when its out in the open, even when he tries not to and to be actually honest, but theres also the fact that hes literally a comedian and creating something "honest" IS through humor. its kindof a double edged sword
right well that was my jumbled mess of psychoanalysing tommyinnit i hope he is alright and all that because well that was. something
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*SLAMS HANDS ON DESK*
FUCKING PHILS POV
Everything about his POV was bone chilling holy shit. Also fucking shoutout to the admins for picking Chayanne and Tallulah bc that was a really smart move.
For some context for those who arent Philza watchers:
Tallulah and Chayanne obey Phil. Yes they can be divas sometimes and be dumb and silly, but they arent like their siblings like Dapper and Richas who will just be dramatic and do dumb and dangerous stuff when their parents dont feel 100% okay with it. They will throw a fit but still be respectful of Phil’s word.
Phil said multiple times to them, especially Tallulah, to not go to the dinner no matter what. That as soon as it hits 2pm PST, they get tucked into bed and they can wake up after if they want. Chay and Lullah both agreed bc they both fear dying. Tallulah wants to see her dad and Chayanne knows how hard his dad works to make sure they are safe.
Let me fucking tell you how creepy it was seeing Tallulah walk into the dinner.
Phil immediately questioned her and was like “what the fuck you doing? We both agreed you would stay in bed.” and when ‘Tallulah’ just stared at him and shook her maracas, you could feel the air still.
Personally, it felt like a bucket of ice water got dumped on me. Phil literally froze. Because thats not fucking Tallulah. Tallulah is calculated, gentle, and slow moving. The ‘Tallulah’ at the dinner was shaking her maracas without a care in the world, running around. Also Tallulah will talk to Phil and they check in on each other. The ‘Tallulah’ at the dinner didnt put down a sign once.
Then as Phil was realizing that Tallulah wasn’t Tallulah, then ‘Chayanne’ comes in. At this point Phil realized that both ‘Tallulah’ and ‘Chayanne’ dont have cracks. Phil straight up looks at ‘Chayanne’ and says “You are fake, you arent my son.” Also same thing with Tallulah, Chayanne and Phil check in with each other. They are a well oiled machine. Phil knows Chayanne like the back of his hand and vise versa.
To be fair, Chayanne isnt an egg of many words. He likes action and just nods/shakes of his head when talking. If need be he will place a sign down, but he doesnt talk as much as Tallulah. So it isnt hard to impersonate him.
But the second, ‘Chayanne’ started punching Phil was again bone chilling. Chayanne rarely hits Phil, maybe once or twice from the top of my head. Again, Chay and Lulah are very respectful of Phil. If they need his attention, they do other ways. They dont hit.
And thats when Phil let Fit know that something was wrong. Those werent his kids. That they are fakes. Around that time, Phil runs home and sees that his actual kids are sleeping. He takes a photo, runs back, and fucking shows ‘Chayanne’. Phil lets the fakes know that he knows and he doesnt give a shit.
At some point, Phil and Fit talk again and ‘Chayanne’ runs up and tries to take the photo from Phil. Phil basically said fuck off and went back to his seat.
The part I find so fucking eerie was that Fit and ‘Chayanne’ had a lil talk. ‘Chayanne’ put down a sign that said something along the lines of “My dad doesnt love me anymore”.
That sign literally made me start to freak out because thats the fucking last thing the real Chayanne thinks. The real Chayanne knows that his dad loves him to death. That Phil would burn this server to the ground if anything bad happened to Chayanne. Chayanne knows that Phil does everything in his power to keep his son alive. He knows how much Phil worries about him and Tallulah (both the characters and the admins).
Going back to what I said at the start, the admins were so fucking smart for picking Chayanne and Tallulah to be the ‘Code eggs’.
People outside of Phil, Fit, Bad, and maybe Forever/Cellbit dont really spend time with Chayanne and Tallulah. Yes, other people do care after them and know them, but they really dont know their mannerisms and quirks. They dont know that Tallulah only shakes her Maracas when she is very excited or have something to say. They dont know that, while Chayanne can be hyper, he usually is very obedient and stays close to Tallulah when he can.
So putting them in a party where the attention isnt on them 100% time is so smart. They can run around and people dont think about it. They just see two eggs running around and having fun. They dont know how wrong it is to see them like that.
Then when the ‘Code eggs’ made themselves known, Phil got kicked. Again very smart from the admins because no one wanted to kill ‘Chayanne’ and ‘Tallulah’ even though they were obviously Codes. Even Fit, who Phil told over and over again that those arent his kids, hit the Codes once or twice but stopped because he didnt wanna take that risk. No one wanted to take the chance of hurting an egg. It gave the ‘Code eggs’ time to kill Charlie and try to kill others.
But the second Phil joins back, he is screaming that those arent his kids and to kill them. That they were impostors. Even then, they let Phil kill the Code eggs.
Then when Code Tallulah died, everyone stepped back and let Phil 1v1 Code Chayanne.
Im so impressed with the admins and the people who played the fake Chayanne and Tallulah. They did such a good job of putting a spear of ice through my heart. 100/10 Bravo
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Some Egg admin socials-
[remember to show all these amazing people love and support, follow them and watch their streams. They all are nice people who gave so much passion and love and brought those little eggy models to life]
Chayaane/ SunMin
Twt- https://x.com/LittleMissSun?t=rSemBFyhKTdOeHuH1uNZRw&s=09
Twitch- https://www.twitch.tv/littlemisssunmin?sr=a
Tallulah/ Amapola
Twt- https://x.com/sunkissedAmaaa?t=74T9JhC6sebNu-sNMWkAjQ&s=09
Twitch (they do have a twitch but they don't stream, you can catch them as a viewer in Philza's streams in amongst the crows. Also can be found in Bad's streams)
Pomme/ Lumi
Twt- https://x.com/Lumi_Pomme?t=CkqdNc6kFOYIwCSMTucong&s=09
Twitch- (they don't stream but you can catch them amongst the ghosties in Bbh's streams. Their name is Pomme_Lumi on twitch)
Dapper/Shade
Twt- https://x.com/Dapper_no?t=yC83IfOyVHucwwRS0t2dQA&s=09
Twitch- (they don't stream but you can find them in between the ghosties in Bbh's streams) Their name is Dapper_shade on twitch.
Empanada/ Cherry
Twt- https://x.com/CherryBee_art?t=_yobnUV2enqn4vbEYwRWrQ&s=09
Twitch- Watch CherryBee_ with me on Twitch! https://www.twitch.tv/cherrybee_?sr=a
(highly recommend watching them their streams are really cozy and nice)
SunnySideUp/ Ryan
Twt- https://x.com/dandelionryans?t=1XrUakdbADhcPmqlEZFSVA&s=09
Twitch- https://www.twitch.tv/dandelionryans?sr=a
(they have their other socials linked in their card on Twt bio go folow them there too if you want)
Pepito/ Lina
Twt-https://x.com/linastubborn?t=mj6WARjvzTp2AzznXHc63g&s=09
Twitch-https://www.twitch.tv/linastubborn?sr=a
Leonardo/ Haru
Twt-https://x.com/harumivt_?t=K2hn2PXOx1Dc1pSQje71xg&s=09
Twitch- https://www.twitch.tv/harumivt?sr=a
Ramon/ Artea
Twt- https://x.com/arteamissing?t=5PoMoB8MT5cmuUvtop0JZA&s=09
Twitch- https://www.twitch.tv/arteamissing?sr=a
Chunsik/Cleo
Twt- https://x.com/CleoOnline_/status/1793861686484762915?t=yOA1Vj7CfOrj9YpwmgJ5yQ&s=19
(if I find any more I will make sure to add them, also reminder to not ask weird questions and respect boundaries like don't be mean in their chats,etc. Hopefully the things not to do don't need to be spoken out loud)
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Missa and Tallulah
I adore the father-daughter bond that has formed between Missa and Tallulah, it reminds me so much of Missa's early days with Chayanne and it warms my heart.
But there is something very interesting in the way Tallulah accepted Missa as her father immediately, despite having lived very little with him and despite the fact that Missa never tried to impose himself on her as a father (even if he considered her his daughter since Phil told him that he adopted her).
And it is precisely that. Missa never imposed himself, he didn't try to push himself on as a father to Tallulah, unlike other people in the past who tried to "adopt" her or make her see them as a father. Missa always accepted his place in the girl's life and was fine with the "uncle" title she had given him.
He told her that he felt the responsibility of taking care of her, just as he takes care of Chayanne and he always behaved nice and friendly, but to a certain extent he kept his distance from the subject, he never wanted to pressure or make her feel uncomfortable attributing himself a role that did not belong to him.
Missa has always respected that Tallulah's father is Wilbur and although he knew that Phil had adopted her and that he directly referred to her as their daughter, Missa never intended to take that place (even in prison he referred to Wilbur as "her true father"), as much as he saw her as his daughter, he respected Tallulah's feelings and that was important for her, because she spent months anguished by Wilbur's absence, hearing jokes from others about it, like If her suffering was nothing more than a joke for everyone and although they were harmless jokes, every time that happened it seemed like it disturbed her, she was Wilbur's daughter and people didn't seem to take it seriously.
She had other people in her life, people she became very fond of, but despite that she has never seen them as a replacement for her father and she never liked that anyone wanted to see themselves as such. She has great appreciation for Quackity because she knows how important he is to Wil and out of all of them, it seemed that he was the closest to becoming her stepfather and therefore, her "second father" and in some way being close to him was a way to bond with Wilbur, but Q's presence in Tallulah's life was never stable and along the way there has been mistrust and bitter moments with him (that bond was not created, but she still sees him as someone important to Wil and is fond of him). Others have taken care of her and although she became fond of them, she always saw them as her "uncles" and although there were those who tried to be something more than her, she never felt comfortable with the idea.
It even took a long time before she directly started calling Phil dad and that was something that was born from her, Phil didn't come and tell her "now I'll take your father's place" he just earned his own place and that made the girl was the one who asked him to adopt her. But Phil already had a long history with her and a very solid relationship, so her asking him that was something to be expected but… Why did she immediately accept Missa?
The first things Tallulah heard from Missa were the wonders Chay and Phil told her about him and from the moment she met him, she realized that he was a sweet and kind man who made Chay very happy. In a way, she saw Chay's family as what she expected from a family, since they all had a very beautiful bond with each other. But still, she didn't see Missa as her father, nor as her "grandfather" (when she saw Philza like that), he was another of her uncles. But from that moment on, all the times Phil and Chay talked about him were different for her, because now she knew him and could understand how important he was to them, seeing a parallel between the longing they felt for him with the one she felt for Wilbur and that made her empathize with them, strengthening their bond.
So, the next time she saw Missa, she defended him from Foolish and Tubbo's taunts and followed him around the island, so he could reunite with Chay, because she knew that was important to her brother and that he would do the same for her. In some ways, the things that happened that day greatly influenced the way she felt about Wilbur's absence by then.
Even so, Missa was always sweet and kind to her and promised to take care of her like Chay, HIS OWN SON, without any kind of commitment, without expecting anything from her, or trying to be considered her father or take these place.
That must have been confusing for her in some way, because she didn't know how he saw her or if he considered her his family, but it kind of made her think about it: "Is he part of my family? Do I want that?" "Am I part of his family?"
Missa's absence and presence influenced the three of them in several ways, even if no one were not fully aware of it.
And this is where Phil's influence comes. For Phil there was no doubt that Missa had become another father to Tallulah from the moment he adopted her, but that could never be formalized because the three of them were never in the same room to talk about it and Tallulah never asked it directly.
Just as Missa didn't want to force Tallulah to see him as a father, she didn't want to force him to see her as his daughter. It was in the end Phil who directly made the decision to make it official, he had already talked about it with Missa before, but he didn't ask Tallulah, he just told her "he's your third father" and even at that moment, she asked him Missa was okay with it, because until then she only saw him as Chayanne's father and Missa's response was that he already considered her his daughter (which was similar to what Phil told her).
Missa was not someone who asked her to see him as a father just like that, he was someone who saw her as a daughter even if she did not consider him her father, he never fought for that title, he never expected anything in return, he was someone who unconditionally agreed to love her, even if he didn't know her, JUST LIKE A TRUE FATHER DOES.
That's why Tallulah accepted it immediately, she reciprocated that show of love in the same way.
I sincerely believe that she has been able to heal something within her heart and that being Phil and Missa's daughter makes her very happy, without displacing her love for Wilbur.
Tallulah's new side is quite important, I think that Missa's love does her quite well and was something that she needed for a long time, because now she feels part of a complete family and it is natural that she wants to protect that and now she have someone who makes her feel like she have the strength to take care of those she love.
It's incredible how both Missa and Tallulah needed each other to feel part of the family, because in some way, they were the ones who doubted their place within it.
I never expected this, but I love it.
Missa is a great father, he has always been a great father and I am willing to fight anyone who dares to say otherwise…
#death family#missa#missasinfonia#tallulah the egg#philza#chayanne the egg#deathduo#death duo#pissa#qsmp#qsmp missasinfonia
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You asked for recap, I'll try to give you the shortest version I could come up with
First egg day
Not much, but gives signs of potential. 100% platonic, met literally yesterday
Tho can be the great example for how much their relationship has changed. Gay jokes, "come to the bed, partner", first pet names (still just jokes), but immediately clicked with each other and assured eachother in loyalty
Missa's first return (June~July)
Giving signs from Missa's side. Finding out that there's somebody that is after Phil and feeling jealous, tho understanding why ("ye, he's a kind of a man, you know?" - to Chayanne), admitting Phil as the only person who protecting and helping him from a heart. Probably this's the start of Missa's crush
The Four Months™
Phil used to be really patient person, he always been ready to wait for people as long as needed. But at one moment, he started missing Missa, he started yearning for Missa
Rambling about how everyone is okay with being a single parent and how Missa is never there, actually giving up on him and taking off the armour he made for Missa months ago, getting jealous over Guapoduo (only romantic, married and really affectionate couple on the server at the moment), whimpering over the random skull he found in the dungeon and even collecting every single skull he found in one of the dungeons for no reason
Missa's return
Everything is back to normal! But something definitely changed...
Phil and Missa were really affectionate from the start, Phil always was protective over Missa and tried to help him and Missa always was a bit shy around Phil and flustered by his help
But this time it's all stronger
For the whole journey to find new members (the frozen ones) they haven't left each other's side, even walked off from everyone else just to be alone together.
And this time Phil was even more protective of Missa. Usually the very paranoid man, who was scared of a single little light in the darkness started noticing only those mobs that were attacking Missa, who couldn't not to look at him or leave alone for even a moment, just to check if he was safe. And for a long time everyone saw Phil actually relaxed after so many months of paranoia and fear. Something started changing
And Missa, he was even more shy around Phil, tried not to say a wrong word or anything that could disappoint him, was apologising for everything he ever could do wrong. And something new started happening with him. Flirting. But not just jokes, more of an admiring thoughts that accidentally were slipping out of Missa's mouth without him wanting it. And first time when Missa started rambling™ so Phil couldn't understand him and first time when he actually confessed by saying "te amo"
And then matching backpacks, Missa being very normal with wanting to put Phil's head on his backpack and other members noticing something between them
Missa trying to run away from Chayanne, but confessing something important
Skipping the whole looney tunes episode with the deep trauma under it and getting to the most interesting part
Tallulah and Chayanne telling Missa that Phil was talking about him a lot and Roier, seeing Missa's reaction asking him if he likes Philza (in "te gusta" way) and Missa saying that he's very handsome, but he wouldn't tell him about that because he wants to respect him (plus being afraid of losing him and that they have now)
And then writing a sign with confession that he LOVES Philza (and Tallulah noticing it, but pretends that she hadn't seen anything)
The Mexican independence day
(Oh god, oh boy, i have a lot to say)
The Missa's return was Missa's simping day, well, now it's Phil's turn
Phil was trying not to leave Missa for the whole day, keep him around, but not to interrupt when he was talking with him friends or wanted to go somewhere with them, even if he wanted to spend time with Missa. Only with Missa.
Sneaking photos, [Missa yelling "te amo" in front of everyone to him], trying to drag out of the crowd by lassoing (same that did Roier with Cellbit and Fit with Pac), focusing in the dance only on him, gazing at him in the Order, proposing to leave if he felt overwhelmed, trying to keep next to him in the dungeon, [Missa calling Phil handsome], wanting to stay only with Missa when everyone was going to the Hot Girls' beach, [Missa wanting to go on a date with Phil], gazing at Missa when going to the said beach with a goofy smile, [Missa confessing that Phil makes him nervous], Phil noticing Missa's confession but not saying anything just giggling, [Missa wanting to hug Phil as his last thing he wants to do before he dies (he was okay)]
And then the "see you soon" without seeing eachother after that
Missa's capybara journey
Missa returning without knowing if his son and (not fully back then) daughter were okay, if Phil was okay and feeling guilty about everything he missed. Meeting with Luismi and going to the Capybara village with them
And then- calling himself a parasite, that he doesn't deserve his family, calling Phil "the person of a justice, the best islander on the whole island", capybaras getting Missa to return home and write a sign for Phil
[Few days after Phil finding that sign and trying to find if Missa left anything else for him and getting sad when he realises that he didn't]
The Aquarium(I'm getting really sleepy, help)
Bad meeting Missa at one of the days and starting to gaslight him that he has no home, that nobody cares about him
So he requests to live under Phil's basement in the aquarium that built without Phil's agreement
Missa, again, isolating himself and thinking that he's not enough for his family and that he doesn't deserve to be anywhere near Phil
The Purgatory
The good start with separating middle and awesome end
Everything starting with Phil, after noticing that Missa is on, immediately started to perch everywhere and trying to find Missa. Looking around everytime he heard the noise of waystone
And then, after finally finding him on the ground with everyone else. He first wanted to just glide down, but decided to do water drop (to show off in front of Missa). Then Missa started acting surprisingly clingy and bold- asking Phil to hug him, staring at his chest when he was shaking it for fun (actually was checking if he was alive, but from Phil's side it looked like he was looking at boobs)
And then they got separated
It wasn't much for Missa because he more was thinking about how he will help his team, but Phil was DEVASTATED. The little "noooooo" in despair when finding that Missa is in another team, sadly waving when Missa was standing with his back turned to him, and giving last little glances to Missa (maybe considering if he can go to Missa's team for him) before living
And then Missa, on his own, with only violence around him, realises that he needs Philza. He doesn't just loves how he looks and acts with him, he NEEDS him. He needs his comfort, his power, his protection. And he decides to leave Purgatory just so he wouldn't have a chance to hurt Phil even if his team will win
Meanwhile, somewhere on a dusty floor of a museum crying and sobbing Phil, crawling into a drawing of Soulfire with Missa on it, sadly cooing and totally not needing him as much as he needs him
The Prison
KISS. Missa realises that not only he needs Phil and his family, but that they also need him. KISS ON A LIPS. Phil, again, feeling fully relaxed after long time just with Missa, even sometimes forgetting that they should escape. PHIL ASKED MISSA TO KISS HIM ON A LIPS. And Tallulah finally officially becoming Missa's daughter. THE PISSA KISS HOLY FUCK EVEN CROWS DON'T THINK IT'S PLATONIC ANYMORE
The new start
Missa returning home once again. But everything is new, it's time to start with the white list. But this time he's sure in his feelings and wants to be with his family, wants to protect them and love Phil even if he won't get that back
Meanwhile Phil getting even more possesive over Missa with wanting to kill the villager just because he was sleeping on Missa's bed. He's very normal over his husband, yap
Missa made it canon that he's immortal just like Phil. Giving him even more pet names like "The immortal", "the man of my dreams"(heard that he called him a term that used by boyfriends about their girlfriends) and saying "I hope we'll see eachother soon, handsome" before logging out
Other notes (finally done for now
(FINALLY IT'S OVER AAA, IT TOOK ME AN HOUR, MAYBE MORE)
- Missa also called Phil "daddy" when saw an art of him on a Purgatory loading screen
- Phil, looking at the art of Fooligetta and Leo said: "the family, all together, yaaaay" in the most jealous tone ever
- Phil, looking at art of Guapoduo (again) with fucked up Cellbit said: "Cellbit is a little but fucked up, but Roier will help him, right? Roier will save him". And with what tone he was saying that he was hoping that somebody would come to him and save him too
- when Phil found Missa's "house" in aquarium he was saying "he doesn't- he thinks- he thinks I don't- he thinks he doesn't deserve me"
- in Prison Missa said that apapacho(hug) is that he does to Phil when he doesn't look
- there's like 7 times Phil was gazing at Missa from the side while he was talking with his friends or just was by himself, Phil really likes to look at him
- Fit actually thinks those two are romantic couple because he said "it's none if my business that other couples do" when found Missa's aquarium house (refering to him and Pac even before they got together)
- Cellbit told Missa that Phil is in love with him, but just scared if his feelings and can't accept them yet, but "he sees something really strong here" (quote)
- Chayanne had a backpack called "Phissa"
- Dapper called them lovebirds and promised to protect Missa from anyone if they want to get between him and Phil
- qPhil probably thinks that "platonic" just means "no sex" (he was answering to Cellbit's question about what platonic husbands mean ages ago and Phil couldn't answer normally, but Foolish yelled "no sex" and Phil said "ye, kinda like that")
It's finally finished yippee, hope it'll give you some recap and image on how insane we are here about these two
Words can´t express how I´m feeling rn, the happiness in my body is boiling and i'll explode in million pieces, thanks for this amazing food I'll always be grateful for this awesome work. It took you time to write everything here, Thank you. You're a legend. A great warrior o7
My respects for you comrade
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Regarding my SBI/DSMP Fics
TW: Abuse, Trauma, and Mentions of Suicide.
With all that has happened, I did want to come out here and make my stance clear. I will always stand with Shelby (Shubble) and all of the victims who are speaking out against Will Gold (Wilbur Soot). If you still support that bastard, unfollow me and leave my blog and whatever small community I made.
I've already stated this is my Discord channel, but I want to put it here too.
For me, c!Wilbur is so far removed from cc!Wilbur that I don't connect the two. The characters are vessels for my own characterizations and stories. It's a bit like writing Supernatural*, Twilight, or Hazbin Hotel fanfics. I don't support the guy, monetarily or otherwise, he does not interact with fanfics, I have plans to be very vocal that I'm on Shelby's side no matter what/make it clear that what Will did is wrong, and I don't use his real life events as plots in my stories. At least, I certainly don't try to. It's why I typically change traits about the characters. (I.e. Tommy is shorter, Phil is taller, Techno is bulky, and Wilbur always has golden/hazel eyes.)
I'm aware that it's a tad different because it's rp and not something like a full on book or an actor in a movie, but DSMP has also been over for over two years and the characterizations I make for SBI are not at all based on the CCs. Real life Techno isn't a literal terrorist, Phil ain't a father married to a goddess, Tommy is not a traumatized child soldier, and Wilbur isn't suicidal and blowing up countries.
I think I'll likely focus more on Techno, Tommy, and Phil for a while, but I'm not gonna let one dude ruin a fandom and things I've made for myself. Nothing I write is ever made for Wilbur, as I've seen people saying. Additionally, Wilbur was not the only writer. Technoblade, Philza, TommyInnit, and so many others made that story what it was. Not him.
However, if any CCs come forward saying they don't want their old characters interacting with his, I will respect that.
Though I do think there is a tendency to take real life events (i.e. Techno's cancer, LJ's music, Tommy's real life parents, etc.) and put them into fiction about DSMP. I, however, don't try to do that and have stated before that I don't feel comfortable doing so. The truth is that we have not gotten any genuine SBI content outside of DSMP for years. The dynamic in real life is very different from what was presented in the DSMP. Did personalities still bleed over? Yes, I'm not going to deny that, but I'm not going to act like they're exactly the same between character and person either. We've had that conversation like in 2021, it's why we have C! and CC!.
The rather sad truth is, SBI is what got me really into writing and it's a comfort for me that nothing can compare to. Obviously, I don't think it's appropriate to be writing certain types of stories right now or to be involving characters made by CCs outside of the DSMP. I think it's up to everyone else to decide on what they want to do, however, rushing it also isn't the way to go either. Give yourself time to heal and think it over first instead of throwing away something that gives you comfort and has not been associated with by the creators for over two years.
Anyways, fuck Will Gold. Fuck the fact that he hurt so many people, and fuck that he lied and manipulated his way around the damn internet. ESPECIALLY fuck the fact that he tried to diminish what he did and not take proper accountability.
Go and support Shelby so so much, she and everyone who spoke out really deserve it. I'm glad silence on these types of issues is not being normalized.
Here is a list of (American) resources for DV help:
TNLR
RAINN
WOAR
Love is respect
The Trevor project
Futures without violence
National domestic violence hotline
Resource on what DV and abuse looks like
*Changed it from Harry Potter to Supernatural because Harry Potter is a significantly worse and more problematic franchise, even just within the content of the books. It'd be better left in the dust. I've talked about it before, but it was the first thing that came to my mind at the time and was a poor comparison on my part, I'm truly sorry for that.
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https://www.tumblr.com/pyroy3/758317686261432320/compiling-additional-proof-against-wilbur-into?source=share
Debunking this post show casing "proof against wilbur"I will go into detail but first I must say most of this isn't proof it is word by mouth and just stories taken out of context or made out to sound malicious As I had referenced to in a previous post take this as a "tldr"As that's said let's begin
Important note that any response to this post that is aggressive, threatening, rude, immature, insulting, ect, will be blocked and ignored
1. Shebly shubble herself has gone back on her words and addmited to the biting being fully consented to. "I didn't consent to getting hurt" she did. She consented to the biting. After wilbur worked with her to get a safe word. If he worked to get a safe word it should of been made clear it would hurt. It never left bruises or cuts though. As you can see in pictures of her during that time there is none. It isn't easy to hide with makeup and if it broke skin as she said it would of gotten infected human mouths are full of bacteria and one bite breaking skin could cause serious infections (speaking as someone who used to violently bite themself) she agreed to the safe word and the biting with wilbur himself saying he had picture proof of it (not sharing out of respect for sheblys privacy which she didn't reciprocate obviously) she even sated she consented every time. So she did it many times knowing how hard he'd bite. "He ignored the safe word" no. He didn't. He only took a second to respond. Snap your fingers. That is a second. Maybe a bit more but never too much. With shebly admitting to not using the safe word properly and just instead screaming at him it's reasonable he'd take time or have a instinct reaction before letting go.
2. 3 reasons in two of them is not proof but relying on sheblys words. That is not proof. That is word by mouth. That is the reason people request proof (which shebly has been known to block people for asking) to use words as proof is to believe everything you see online which is by knowledge the #1 rule of the internet. People have their rights to belive by word of mouth or by proof. No one is obligated to trust her immediately. Not anyone. She has put a name to the person (said directly or not she had confirmed and put his name on the role of the abuser) which means no one is obligated to believe her. She has accused so there is permission to be skeptical as believing without proof can and has a long history of ruining innocent peoples lives. If everyone believed every accusation without proof we wouldn't have schlatt, will wood, tommy, tubbo, ranboo, philza, shebly herself ect All have long histories of being accused of things some lesser known than others. If we believed without proof when a name is connected to the accused it had been known to cause horrific things to happen to innocent people. Words aren't proof. History shows that. Her own actions show that. She's changed her story many times her words go against others stories and even her own.
3. The Disneyland video. Using how wilbur had stepped on tommys hand for untying his shoe as proof isn't really proof. "He never apologized" maybe not on camera. We never know what happens off camera. And even so he had done several other things in that video that could add up to an apology without words. Such as buying tommy all those candies to help his low blood sugar. As someone who used to have it that shit mean so fucking much I don't think many would understand. Also are we going to forget all the times tommy hit wilbur? How they play fight all the time how they laugh when they do it? Philza minecraft had witnessed it and played along treating them like as if they were rowdy brothers. Which is what their relationship is mainly about them being brotherly like genuine brothers. Philza conforming it saying they were like brothers off camrea as they were on maybe even a bit more. Do you think if it was wrong philza would stay so calm whenever they'd hit eachother? That they'd laugh and continue to hang out? Should we forget all the times tommy did equal stuff to wilbur that could be considered abusive by your standards if you feel this is proof of abuse? This goes along with your other yaps. Tommy hand begins *jokingly* bitten at a concert. It was a joke. And goes along with what I had said before. Now there was one you brought up that neither of us can speak on
https://youtu.be/Pcs3UcjKeXo?t=2111
4. Technoblade apple incident. In personal belief. Neither of each side can use this as proof. Not you not I not anyone. This includes a dead man. Someone who can't speak on this. Someone who can't share their side. Someone who should be left to rest and not have his name dragged into a story that doesn't involve him. We weren't there. You weren't there. No one but wilbur and technoblade were there. It is a story wilbur shared in memory of him. A silly light hearted story about an accident that had happened. He showed remorse, regret and showed himself to admire how well technoblade had handled it. He explained it was an accident. He didn't mean to hit his shoulder. No one else was there. So no one but him can confirm it. He used that story to tell on how strong technoblade was how he looked up to him. There is no sign of abuse. No one can confirm or deny it. The other is dead. And the one who told the story is the accused. We may never know if it truly was meant to have ill intent or not. You can read his mind you can't pull apart his words to figure out some.secret thing about him being abusive or not. There's nothing. Don't drag techno into this. Let the man rest.
5. Song lyrics. Now with these this is tricky. He had confirmed he does this thing where he switches the pronouns referring to himself as "she" or the the girl in the song and sings through the pov of the other person pretending it to be him. He's done this with his song Warsaw. So with his others songs he hasn't confirmed he does this it's up for debate. And if we're to use his songs as evidence against him. What about msr. It came out after his rs with shebly and has lyrics that oddly fit her. From her personality to complaints she made about him. If you were to argue his lyrics could reference him being abusive what about msr that closely resembles shebly and talks about wilbur being harmed phycally and emotionally several lyrics hitting at him being physically harmed by his partner. What about how most songs that came out after their rs have themes of wilbur being harmed a lot more recent ones talking about physical abuse in some parts.
Lyrics for example;
Trying not to think abiut it: "Never been the one for romance
Never thought that I'd get married
Never been the kind to give a shared life a second glance
Selfish prose, a lifestyle of a stained-glass window"
The median: "Please don't ask what these words mean
Just please don't misinterpret me"
Amazon standing lamp: "hit me now before it gets to cute, don't make me beg in this hotel room"
Mine/yours: "you never liked me when drunk I'm starting to believe you never liked me at all"
"I stand just outside the reach of your fists And take myself away, a gangrenous limb And dance around the subject, a figure of eight Describe all the parts of me I'm yet to break Count all the parts of me I'm yet to break"
The list goes on. As well as more and more of their recent songs more more seemingly reflecting shebly and describing her. Just as you did. I used lyrics and songs to make theories. Is this proof? Or is it just an idea and rambling. Take mine as just that then you go back on your own word of providing proof. There is no proof. Only ideas and theories. To use lyrics of older songs most from before he dated shebly is to be just as valid as using songs from after their break up
6. Saying he doesn't know what his songs were about. He does. He wrote them. He's told us the meaning of them before. In the genius interview he was high. Obviously not sober😭😭😭 idk what else to say on this really he was just high he is a known weed smoker and had smoked before the interview most likely to calm his nerves since he's made it very clear is anxiety causes him lots of.issues and is the reason why he even took his mental health break in the first place.
7. "Pretty privilege" this is one I've heard people use a lot along with "he's white!" "He's cis!" "He's a man!!" That's means nothing. Most wss addmit to having used to support shebly before given a reason not to. We supported shebly until given reason to doubt her. She has holes in her story. History of lying not just with relationships but also her whole merch fall out that caused many issues and showed her to be not so innocent. There is no pretty privilege. Most people turned to support shebly there is no minority of supporting shebly wss don't support wilbur because he's pretty or white it's because they have reason be it proof, holes in stories, ect. Is shebly herself not pretty? Is she not at considerably a higher beauty standard than wilbur? People go based off proof not appearance. Wilbur being a man means nothing. Are men not able to be abused? It is always women being the damsels in distress and not the abuser? To go into this would go into deeper topic I wish not to yet cover in this since it much more severe. But pretty has nothing to do with this. It's proof. Shebly has said she has no proof wilbur has said he has proof shebly has gone on her word wilbur as referred to it as allegations that "deeply shocked him". Do not begin with pretty privilege because I can assure you it's not that.
8. "He only targeted women smaller than him so he could pin them down." That's uhm.. well first off shebly is a body builder and does weights and wilbur looks like a starving Victorian child. Also most women are smaller than him he's above the average height women are naturally shorter than men to so idk what is going on in that. That's just a wild thing to say.
9. I will be grouping Alice, minx and Nikki together in this. Minx, her story was saying how when they got drunk together she tried to do something nice yes but it triggered him and he screamed at her. He was drunk to the point he was throwing up. It's not a surprised it would be something small like that to trigger him and even after she even said he apologized profusely to her and she still left. Minx is not one to be trusted since she can't even beat her own allegations against her for abuse and racism. She's known to lie and put herself in others stories and just be a horrible person. Nikki, Nikki was the one to instigate their friendship having gone on a TV dating show to talk to wilbur. She was the one that started every interaction. Wilbur had no problem distancing himself from her when shipping made them uncomfortable, she was the one to mention him without being forced to she was the one who had his stickers she was the one who showed herself as a fan in moments where she didn't need to..she never once showed no signs of being afraid of him and in fact only ever trying to instigate a friendship. Alice. I could say a lot about her. From her story conflicting with sheblys, to times not adding up to picurte proof of her lying about things. It's a lot to say on her.
Here's a link proving debunking alice with evidence:
https://x.com/UltraViole74456/status/1767408802465243341
With that. There is no proof in this post, just opinions and theories. Thank you for reading. Avoid putting false proof in posts about serious matters. Options and theroies do not count as proof. What does count as proof is pictures, screenshots, videos, audio recordings, official documents, posts of addition, anything that shows abuse without having to make theories, or that isn't affected by personal beliefs and shows the actions. I apologize for any grammar mistakes I might have made writing this.
#dont like dont interact#wilbur soot#wilbur support squad#wss#shebly shubble#nikki#minx#wilbur soot support
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There's...a lot to unpack in this next bit.
First of all. The yelling at Tallulah? That is the first time I have ever heard him raise his voice in anger at his children.
Second. She can tell Phil, that something isn't right. She knows her Dad, though emotionally distant in a lot of respects, would never ever turn his rage upon her. And the fact he has been gone so regularly on this quest for lining their pockets, completely unlike how he used to be. At the beginning all he wanted to do was build a house and spend time with his eggs.
Now he is often gone the moment he wakes up to loot or find more treasures, away more often than home. His want for earthly goods has begun to outweigh the value of familial love, so wrapped up in this desire to protect his family and gathering more shinies.
She knows his heart. And she knows his intentions have begun to warp to unhealthy levels.
She knows her Papa as one with a joyful laugh, kind words, gentle hands and a willingness, above all else, to help others.
This stranger wearing the blonde's face is not her father.
She was the one to widen the gap in Phil's armour after Fit broke the initial hole. She knows how to speak to his emotions, to find his soul and try to revive it as it decays.
Then....this.
I think this is the moment it hit how serious she was.
I never quite clocked the fact she held that accidently swing against Philza from months ago now...she's just a kid. How often did she think or worry about the possibility of it happening again?
I think the worst part for Phil is he realises she isn't upset with him. She's scared of him. And that's so much worse.
Another thing I also just remembered; she hates having things withheld from her knowledge, its a breach of trust.
This is terrifying for her. To watch the steadiest thing she has ever known to shatter and break apart. To fall into the clutches of endless needs over what truly matters.
Spending time with those you love.
It doesn't matter if you own the most expensive things in the world, some happiness is only found eternally in the souls of those you came to grow close too in this small blip on a forever timeline.
Tallulah's only thing she can hold in a storm is her family. To see the head of it become hostile and deliberately ignore his own descent....goddess she must feel so hopeless.
#qsmp#wrenrambles#qsmp tallulah#qsmp philza#philza minecraft you are paying for my therapy bill posthaste#cause what the fuck what the fuck
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Philza saying he now wants to go to one of these festivals in real life just makes me appreciate again how good this server is like,,, it's all about love, and communication, and sharing each other cultures. This was something the Brazilians wanted to share with everyone else, and the server listened and made it an entire event, with a space prepared for them to celebrate. And everyone else just joined, and are having so much fun, just being silly and exploring this new experience for them,,
I don't have enough words to explain just how happy this server makes me feel. It's not just about the game, it's about the beautiful dynamics and the cultural exchange, and about the love and respect poured into every single interaction :')
#qsmp#god i love this server#it's free serotonine y'all#my face hurts from smiling so much every time i see all these people just being happy#its just beautiful#soratsu speaks
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I've seen people say you can't compare the QSMP to the DSMP because they're both completely different servers with different starts.
The thing is you can compare them. Not the stories told themselves because of course they're going to be different as they're 2 servers with different starts with 2 nearly completely different sets of people.
You can compare the treatment of the creators by the fandom, players (other cc on the server) and admins though.
Foolish for example. He made SO many amazing high quality builds to use and be shown to people. Ranboo and Tubbo had him build a giant mansion for them to live in! Yet it was entered maybe once after being finished. Foolish was able to use his builds for his own lore maybe once. Only a few people like Bad really acknowledged them by messing around in the area of them or adding something easy to get rid of to them as jokes.
Bad's treatment on the DSMP was frustrating to watch. He was the butt of the joke every time he was around. People would constantly swear on his streams because it was so funny for them! They constantly destroyed his and Skeppy's house and griefed the front of it. No one other than his friends really listened to him about things. And the egg arc was supposed to be something that was a massive danger to the server! But how does the server and fandom not directly involved treat it? Like a joke. Bad and his friends clearly worked really hard on this arc to include more than just the 'main characters' and their small circle, yet it was brushed off as if nothing by the players and fandom, treated like it was stupid.
Quackity's lore just kinda- happened. There isn't much I can say as I don't remember a lot of it tbh which isn't a great sign.
Philza and Wilbur probably got the better end of the stick for lore due to being connected to the main lorr, but it still wasn't great for them either.
A lot of CCs not on the QSMP have mentioned how the communication for the server was terrible too. At the start of lore on the DSMP, it made sense as they were purely doing improve so there wasn't really anyone to run things through. But the fact the issue was bad the entire time made the CCs on the server feel ignored and not want to play on it.
It was rare for people to interact with others outside their already established circles unless they're friends outside the server.
Now with the QSMP
Foolish has built multiple things on the server and has been acknowledged by everyone at this point. Bad might mess with them a lot still and encourage others to join him but you can tell the respect people still have for each one. Vagetta wants a version of the statue Foolish built him on other servers. People and fandom admire his builds and always make sure that if there's any damage to it, it's easily undone. Cellbit has made the castle Foolish built him his home the moment it was finished, he's been using it since. He paid him fully and made sure he was fully supplied and had company while building, staying on for hours to talk to him as he built.
Bad is respected by everyone on the server. He's taken seriously by everyone. Everyone trusts him with their kid's lives. Phil asks Bad to babysit Tallulah and Chayanne if he can't. The french trust Bad more than anyone outside their language group. Forever trusts Bad the most on the server other than Baghera. If someone needs something they'll go to him. All the eggs love him and so does the fandom. He's part of the joke instead of the butt of it. He can laugh along with the jokes made, even ones directed at him. When people swear on his streams and he languages them, they immediately apologize and switch to one of Bad's replacements (fudge being the main one) and no one makes fun of it either! They don't start swearing relentlessly at him to annoy him.
Even though Quackity doesn't show up often, when he does people are happy to interact with him and update him on what's happened if he wants it.
People can be off the server for weeks without being isolated because they're not keeping up with major lore, especially as people are happy to update anyone on anything they want to know. Hell people can be on a lot without being involved in lore but still be included as much as anyone else! As soon as there's a threat to the eggs or a new way to protect them, it spreads to everyone like wildfire and everyone's taken it on within a week.
The new arrivals are always welcomed by the islanders already there. They support them and treat with the same respect they do with everyone else. They merge with everyone else nearly immediately and become part of the community without hesitation.
The communication with the admins is clearly amazing too. Philza has pointed out how appreciated he feels compared to other servers. When an egg dies unfairly they're quick to get back to them within hours. If there's a general issues they're quick to get back to them and fix things. People are allowed to have their own stories alongside the main one. Events are planned and discussed so everyones aware before it happens. Anyone who wants to take part is welcome to if it's a big thing due to how open they usually are (rescuing Cellbit and Felps, travelling to Bobby's death site, etc). Thinfs are adapted and changed when needed and all CCs are in the loop.
Being able to watch the QSMP and not feel like any POV I watch is being mistreated or ignored is great. I couldn't watch anything but lore streams with the DSMP because Bad was my main POV and it made me so uncomfortable to watch him being made fun of constantly and be treated as a joke.
The QSMP feels like a community of people, instead of factions trying to go against each other. DSMP was my first and only smp experience and while it was great at first, it quickly soured. The QSMP treats it's CCs and fandom as if they genuinely matter, making sure everyone is welcomed and no one is isolated.
#qsmp#it feels so nice to watch#Bad has always been my main POV for years now as I enjoy watching him most#so watching him constantly made fun of and treated as a joke on the DSMP was horrible to watch#Seeing the contrast of that compared to how respected he is on the QSMP is so nice#While his chat is starting to not be too great#The fandom and the people treat him so well#They all interact with people they haven't with before and they make such amazing dynamics to watch#Small rant thing because I appreciate Quackity making the QSMP so much#the love and care is clear in the way everything's been done on the server#the admins and people have been carefully chosen and it shows so well
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Missa and Chayanne Day 2
(Another long post of mine to show how good of a father Missa is.)
Missa found chayanne playing dead and he was very scared.
Missa: ”Look at this! such a warrior, you can't die, you are very strong, of course! show them the trick I teach you (water drop) Yeah! Your other dad will be proud to see how much you have grown and the talent you have to play dead.”
They found a corpse of an admin.
Missa: “An asshole died here!”
Chayanne started to bury it.
MIssa: "That's it, that's right son, it's very good what you are doing. Let's respect the people that are no longer with us, because it deserves a dignified burial."
Missa: “Now let's have 16 seconds of silence in his name. Good job son, I want you to know that I am very proud of you, you took that like an adult, you grew up so fast.”
Chayanne and Tilin meet for the first time. (pipipipi)
Quackity: "Who is this handsome?"
Missa: "This is my son Chayanne, he is 2 days old, well he hasn't been born yet. He looks a lot like his parents, he has my eyes, can you see?"
Chayanne and quackity's beef start, chay attacked Q but missclicked tilin.
After this, maximus arrived and they started talking like moms calling each other girlfriend. (i miss maximus)
Chayanne "lost" his bicycle.
*Chayanne gives him a flower* (This flower can be seen 4 months later when missa shows his backpacks to philza <tres)
Missa: ”Ah! Thank you so much, I'm going to take this with me forever and I'm going to keep it just like the moms who put it between the books.”
They went to quackity's house but it was destroyed so chay started building it again.
Missa: “You know what you are right, we will attack being good people. What white glove attack is stronger than helping him? Let him know that we will not be like them, I am very proud of you son"
They see chayannes bicycle inside the house.
Missa: “Oh no, they robbed us, I thought that they didn't, i thought that they didn't really do it, that they were just doing it (acting suspicious) just because.”
Missa: “Do you want your bicycle?” *Chayanne says no* “I am very proud of you son, let's go…. Chayanne is simply the best son that everyone would like to have.”
(Missclick)
Missa" “Nononono, chayanne, it's ok don't worry, don’t worry I am here, i am here, everything will be ok. After doing good, bad things always happen to the good people.”
Missa: “Are you ok?... You are quite a warrior, you are a badass!”
Missa: “Chayanne you should see, well, no, I wouldn't ever want you to go on Twitter. But you should see the nice things they say about you, people say that they can't believe they are jealous of an egg”
(Every time they build small things like this I feel nostalgic when it appeared in other povs, like the dock were they went fishing and they had that talk about fears pipipipipi)
They were looking for a dog but when they found one missa killed it by accident, they found another one but climbing the wall it drowned.
Song time: Mägo de Oz - Hoy toca ser feliz (He sang this one the first day)
"And you'll see that you can fly,
And you can get everything
Because you are going to smile today,
Is your turn to be happy
If the tears blind your sight and your heart,
Put water in a glass, spit the fear out
Never give up, believe in yourself,
Even if it hurts the bruises will heal"
And they sleep.
#qsmp#qsmp missa#missa#qsmp chayanne#chayanne#qsmp death family#death family#i miss them#i miss missa
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Hey imaging if Forever actually confessed to Philza again. And I mean a more casual confession-
They stand outside of Philza house, they are joking and laughing. It's been so long since they've interacted. They last saw each other in purgatory and they had weeped in each others arms. Now they had returned home, he was working on N.I.N.H.O 2.0. He looked at Philza, he looks at the sign that's hangs above the house. It mocking him in the way it says Philza and Missa. He has no bad will towards Missa. He knows, how much Misaa respects Philza.
But Forever watches the way Philza laughs, and the way he looks at him. His heart can't stop racing and when he sees him he hears music. He's tried to move on and maybe the heart does grow fonder with distance. But he couldn't live with himself if he didn't truly try once more, and he steels himself. His knuckles go white as he clenched his fist into the railing of the bridge over overlooking the island. He doesn't look at Philza, his usually bostrus voice is gentle.
"I- Philza I want you to know...how much I.." And the words get stuck in his mouth and it's so easy to speak the words in portuguese. But now as he speaks in English, his words are a mess.
"I- how much I like you." The words rush from Forever mouth, his neck grow lushed with the moment. He hears Philza laugh, the gentle bump of his shoulder.
"Aw, I like you too mate." Philza says it back with such ease Forever knew his meaning either didn't get through or was ignore. But he closes his eye and he turns to Philza.
"No, I mean- I like you as in I want." His words fumble as he see Philza body language change. He could see the walls coming up.
"Oh no, I thought we were over this Forever-"
The panic claws it way through Forever chest and up through his throat.
"No- no please- listen it has nothing to do with the past or Burmin. It's just you-"
The last time he had tried this it ended with his heart broken. But now time has past and looking back on it. He couldn't help but cringe, but now it was something different. And something in the air must have shifted, played in Forever favor because he watches Philza's shoulders relax if only a little. As if Philza was holding the door open.
Silence falls between them and Forever eyes meets those ocean blues. "You owe me nothing, I wanted the truth to be said.. I wanted you to know how important you are to me."
And how you make my heart sing, but those words would stay tuck away.
"How I lo- how I love you."
"Oh Forever..." Philza mouth open as the momentary shock that graced his eyes pass. A breath leaves his lips, those eyes soften. Forever watched as Philza arms uncrossed, holding onto the railing.
Forever knew this moment would be the last time he could ever say this. But the words feels like a weight being lifted from his chest.
"I'll love you as friend, I'll love you as comrade, I'll love you even if you simply breath near me." Forever watches the red crawl up Philza neck and to his ears. He watches as Philza turns away, a hand coming up to guard his face. Forever takes a step forward a hand reaching out.
"You owe me nothing but I must if only this final time, will you hear me?" A gentle hand outstretches brushing against Philza hand.
"Jesus-" Philza turns away, his back blocking Forever. But that wasn't a no, Philza was not running. Some amalgamation of hope and admiration filled his heart.
"Forever- what am I suppose to do? What am I suppose to say to that?!" Philza spoke up.
"Something? Nothing? Tell me you love me back?" It's a rush, it's mess the way he holds onto that hope.
"I- God, Forever..."
Forever watches Philza back tense, and the worry that those walls may come crashing down pushes him to move. Gently grasping Philza hand, he tugs if only to get Philza to look at him again. And he does-
"I like you, but I'm married-" Philza begins
"And?" Forever grip tighten slightly on Philza hand.
"Forever!" Philza turns round and yet he did not pull his hand away. Those blue eyes were finally on him, baring into his soul in astonishment, disbelief graced Philza lips. That made the corner of Philza lips turn up, and a chuckle leave his mouth. Philza shakes his head, leaning back on his heels.
"If I said, I needed time?" Philza said those eyes like ocean that always drew Forever in.
"I'd wait centuries for you."
(Was this meant to turn into a mini fic? No, I'll find this up at some point and post it on ao3 lmao!)
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Something about them (Pissa/Death Duo)
Something I really like about Phil and Missa's relationship is how free they are. Don't get me wrong. Philza is just the right degree of jealous and possessive for a crow, but he is not actually suffocating, like, at all.
Phil extended his hand to Missa after his first day with Chaynne not only because it would be better to have two fathers together and get along for the egg but because... he really liked the skeleton guy, you would think that getting Philza's trust would be more difficult, more laborious and would take more time however he accepted Missa into his small circle of people easily.
Philza accepted him into his life, into his house, into his family easily and without demanding anything in return.
And the same for Missa. Platonic husbands is more of a title than a label, they don't need labels, they had a connection and accepted each other now they are family! don't need any more explanation.
I can't think of the other islanders being as understanding of Missa's work as Phil is (he's been there, done that) even if someone else had understood what it's like to work under death there would still have been a bit of resentment left in many cases (smaller depending on the person) and Missa can't blame them, he knows how difficult it must be to raise a child alone but Missa can't control his work.
Phil understands and respects it because when he invited him to be part of his life, to have a space in his nest, he did not do it with the idea of keeping Missa, Phil is old and has seen people come and go, he knows better than to force them to stay when something greater claims them. Missa could just slip into Phil's life once in a while and leave just as easily and Phliza would still be fond of him because when Phil gave Missa a place in his heart he didn't give it to him like a cage; He gave it to him to bathe in the sunlight of his purple eyes, to share with this funny grim reaper guy, to have a family even if it doesn't look like the average family canons, Philza and Missa respect each other's integrity and freedom as persons, they love each other without expecting anything in return, happy to know that the other is okay because they transcend finite love of mortals who are separated by death; death unites them.
Phil and Missa are not like Pac and Fit or Cellbit and Roier, they are their own kind of relationship and that's okay.
Phil has been away for weeks or maybe even months (we know that the crow does not have good time management), his love of adventure and travel sometimes takes him away longer than he expected, when he returns his children welcome him effusively talking about how they missed him so much and it hurts Phil's heart to know that he will surely have to leave them behind again, another time simply because some places are too much for them. Missa shakes off that guilt like an old rag stating that he will always be welcome and will never hold him back from leaving if he wants to go; Missa wants him to be a free bird and would never stop him or deprive him of something intimately his.
And If Philza falls into his husband's arms murmuring how much did he miss them, how much did he miss him, it's no one's problem, if he felt Missa leave a delicate kiss on the top of his head, it's no one's problem other than him and his platonic husband.
#qsmp#qsmp missa#qsmp philza#pissa#death family#qsmp deathduo#deathduo#qsmp analysis#platonic or romantic however u want#they still love each other#no matter the way#death duo pego cerca de caso
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man, just going through and queueing my thousandth emduo fan art and considering my emduo writing I'm doing this evening and with a VOD of an emduo stream open in a tab and with emduo art as my desktop background and I was just struck by a thought:
Undoubtedly this would be kinda weird to see people getting this into your friendships.
Like not even getting into whumping characters or aging them down or shipping or doing deep lore and meta of off-hand comments, just like, just the fact that I have been posting emduo art approximately 12 times a day for the past three years. Not even getting into the fact that one of those creators is dead. Like. That's gonna be a little weird to come across in the abstract, if you are a person with a friendship, seeing this friendship be like someone's blog theme. Multiple blog themes. The hashtag updates hourly.
Like I'm sure fandom is flattering, but also, there is undoubtedly a point where someone is like 'oh wait, so your entire hobby is about these characters that have my name? Like you spend hours a day on this? You have art up?" And then they go Oh Dear.
Which is why I think it's just so much greater for everyone if we keep our little derangement in fandom-specific corners of the internet and do not throw it into the creator's face. At all. Even the harmless stuff! Do not TTS about your fanfic! Sharing fan art and cosplay in the designated fan art channel— awesome. Inviting creators into your fandom group chat— boy. Can we not. As much as I am like man I could probably reach so many people, I probably should not promo fandom events in the philza discord! The actual guy is there, saying "here people can request gifts made for them about you" is gonna be weird.
There's just— there's a thing on twitter right now where this artist was making music and videos in a created world with characters, all very dreamlike and artistic, based in their childhood. And because it's the internet, someone wrote/drew NSFW of these characters. And because the internet is the way it is now, people were finding, searching out NSFW content to send it to the creator, presumably so they could take it down?
And I know these people had good intentions, however much I think that they're wrong, but I would argue that sending someone porn of characters based on you/on your kidfic is pretty close to harassment? Like do not show them that stuff. Come on. But the 'tattle to the creator' mentality was too strong.
And the creator, unsurprisingly, did not deal well with this! And then in what I think is a mistake, they have put together a team of people and a google form so that you can report if you find inappropriate or offensive content with their characters and the team will presumably try to copyright strike it. Which. Uh. Again. Is a whole horrible boundaries discourse, is going to lead to witch hunts, and I'm not sure about the legal success of copyright striking fan art and fanfic ANYWAYS.
But like this could have been avoided if instead of going "the creators need to know about this Bad Stuff" people just blocked and moved on. And I think so much more of modern fandom would take a step towards health if we could put more of a creator/fandom separation in place.
Like when I think back to the heyday of DSMP fandom and how these creators— many of them underage— were getting people sending them porn of themselves/their characters, to tattle. Oh look isn't this dark fic too dark. Look how horrible this gore is. This is borderline shipping. People were sending Phil's mods stuff tagged as QPR, because they couldn't get to Phil but he clearly so desperately needed to know this, so that he could condemn it as too close to shipping? Because that is respectful and a great idea?
And like this ranges from stuff where I'm like bro, he doesn't need to know that (small /neg, about stuff that isn't a big dealt), to bro, he doesn't need to know that (LARGE /neg, stop sending the creators porn), because like, okay, yes, you have correctly identified that this would be weird to have happen to you/to a character based on you. What you are missing here is that unless you want to usher in an era of insane copyright overreach that would make disney's lawyers ascend to a higher plane and also kill transformative fandom, there is effectively very little way to stop most of the bad stuff. Those characters are out there, people get to do what they want with them, no matter how much it's in poor taste. All you're doing when you show creators the bad stuff is making them look at stuff that is going to be unpleasant and they can't stop. So, y'know, harassment?
And even the good stuff— I know how to behave myself and act cool in public spaces the creators are in, but if they were to see the full depths of how much of my brain space is taken up by the blocks, I'm sure they'd kinda be left going hahaha you what????? Tomathy Innit was struck speechless by a single person doing a video essay analyzing L'manberg. I see that energy on the dash from dozens of mutuals every damn DAY.
Just like, man. Fandom is just a lot to shove at creators, and if they want to step in willingly that's fine, but I really think we should be so so so cautious about throwing them in bodily when they didn't ask for it. Do not rec family dynamic fics to tommy in his youtube comments. Do not tell tubbo to scroll his hashtag on tumblr. Stop telling Phil about your fanfiction in TTS. I"M SURE THE POSTING YOU ARE ALL THINKING OF IS FINE IN TERMS OF TECHNICAL WEIRD STUFF, but like— even the good stuff! Even the good stuff is a lot! "I was having a bad day but I watched some videos with the friendship in it and now I'm okay" is just a lot to drop on someone! Can we allow creators/writers/musicians/actors/authors to opt into this stuff, and not shove it at them?
And for the love of all things good stop sending people porn of themselves.
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You know what I hate and love about Pissa? Is that they both clearly love each other, so there's no "they love each other but they don't realize it despite being obvious" that I have gotten tired of it in recent times, is more of that is not the same form of love, Philza loves Missa in the same way that he loves his family because he is family, but Missa loves him in a more romantic notion, which would usually piss me off, but Missa is so selfless about it. Yes he loves Philza, but respects him so much and knows that Phil is his own person and he shouldn't feel the need to return that romantic love, he would be happy just being able to stay with Philza.
It doesn't hurt Missa that Phil could never love him back same way he does, but it drives him to be someone that Missa believes Philza could love in a romantic way and should become to be worthy of his love in a platonic way. He wants Phil to love him back but knows that Phil is on his right to choose and shouldn't be forced into anything, and uses that drive that there may be a chance to make himself better, but not just for Phil, but for Chayanne and Tallulah as well. And funnily, Phil knows Missa is trying to improve himself and loves him for that.
Honestly, this is a big part why Forever and Phil could never happen.
Philza, since day one, has felt like a rebound and Forever is trying to conquer because he wants Brunim back and doesn't respect him for who he is and is only trying to impress him with superficial matters, like money or physic.
Physical abs and strength are not a factor in romantic love for Phil. He literally spent 80% of his spare time with Technoblade, who is one of the strongest PVPers that ever lived, and was more impressed that he could come up with dumb plans like "how do we invade the world when we have no power and 3 people at our disposal".
That's why he likes Forever whenever he is not trying to impress him. That's why he loves Missa full stop. He knows Missa is poor. He knows he is not a good player, but it doesn't matter because he is always trying, wants to improve himself, to never be a burden, and is always grateful for people when they do give him stuff (even though sometimes doesn't realize how good some of the stuff is because he doesn't know the game).
They both love each other so much, but it's not the same type. It's so upsetting to see the same intensity, but not the same type, and how they both seem okay with it... Despite everyone being able to tell that they could become on the same page if they talked ONCE about it.
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I was too tired to stay on Philza's stream... But I am winning, ok?
Fitza staying as strong as ever.
I'll talk a bit about purgatory, since I didn't have time while it was happening.
During the purgatory, we all were thinking that Wallflower duo was dying, cuz they both hunt each other down, but in reality they only got stronger! They are one of the few duos who could kill each other and still stay besties for life. Closer to the end of the Purgatory, they met up and threw a dice together, laughing and joking. Even hugging!! They were in different teams, yet they still hugged and respected each other so much. The Eye B_tch tried to break Fitza up, but their not so platonic duo was stronger than that.
I think it's a stretch, but I felt very warm, when Phil woke up and called for Fit first. I dunno why, but they are very dear to me. Fit is Phil's closest friend and vice versa. So Phil waking up and seeking Fit is so sweet.
And now to yesterday's stream. I didn't watched it all, but I've had enough moments to speak of. Firstly, Fit greeting Philza right when the latter logged in, as they did wayy back, in the first few months of qsmp. Then Phil shows his crows his wings for the first time, which was already huge af. But then he trusted Fit enough to show them to him. And in reality, Phil just showed his greatest vulnerability and insecurity to this specific person, and if it's not the biggest gesture of trust I don't know what is. After Purgatory, they both were supposed to be colder to and be wary of each other, but no. They still confide in each other, being the most honest they can. Fit even apologized. And when Dadza called himself a dumbass, Fit quickly said he isn't one. I love them.
And then Phil and Fit spent a lot of time together, as they did before. Walking, talking, cleaning the server for their kids, joking about each other's d_c-. They're calm around each other, cuz they've known each other for years. I think it's a stretch once again, but I feel that Phil would show his wings to Fit first even if he had a choice.
And again, if we're going back more, when Phil saw the picture of the skull and called for Fit, the latter came almost immediately. After Crow started saying "stupid... Stupid bird brain" 2b2t veteran informed that he believed in existence of skull picture. War criminal sees that dadza starts to doubt in himself, so he reassures him and lets him join him and Pac in the dungeon. Putting friends before roommates (they are so gay, why is Fit in denial... No matter how jacked he is he can't beat Fitpac allegations).
They rotate in my head every second of the day. Their friendship is stronger than anything. If the world came crushing down, they're gonna be together. If one's in trouble the other is already planning the rescue mission. They know each other for a long time, they know how ruthless they can be, but they aren't afraid. They're here for each other. They put their trust in each other, giving each other access to private chambers (Fit's secret bedroom and kid's basement). They're prepared to break the rules, put oneself on the line for the other's sake. They even share illegal stuff with each other. Fit is bullets for Philza's gun. The best duo ever.
#qsmp#qsmp fitmc#qsmp philza#q fit#q philza#philza#qsmp fit#q fitmc#fitza#wallflowerduo#they're the besties. they're here for each other#their platonic love is something we should all strive to have#even when Fit couldn't speak freely; he still tried to warn Phil minutes before purgatory#and even though Phil asked 'are you hiding something' (paraphrasing cuz my memories suck) he didn't push it.#they know that they have some secrets they can't share but they feel comfortable enough to not push it. they don't need all the truth cuz#it's enough. they're enough for each other. they're friends. they're the boyz. they joke about each other's co-#i adore them sm#qsmp rambles#qsmp vod watching
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