#i have literally always hated vic's voice work so like catch me not giving a fuck

[cherabby]

honestly it baffles me that people are defending vic, not in the sense that ppl will defend Any White Man(TM) accused of assault, but rather in the sense that VIC MIGNOGNA ISN’T EVEN THAT GOOD OF A VOICE ACTOR CHANGE MY FUCKING MIND 

qrow is literally the only voice he’s ever done that i wasn’t immediately “oh it’s fucking vic”. all his characters sound identical. like sure you can identify other voice actors bc you can only vary your own voice so much but like at least they use different fucking tones and speech patterns and shit depending on who they’re playing like u can differentiate most fucking voice actors characters but everyone vic has ever played sounds the fucking same. like laura bailey? typecast pretty often so a lot of her voices sound similar but if you compare, like, lucina to some of the more “upbeat” female characters she plays, she clearly voices them differently. matt mercer? mccree and fucking chrom or yusuke do not sound the least bit alike. vic? tamaki and edward elric and fucking keldeo all sound the same fuck he was even mitsuhide in the english version of sw3 and it was SO BAD, MAN. i mean the entire english version of sw3 was just comically bad, but.

[bouncyballcitadel]

Then Have Me - A Short Snippet

A few people were like “Dr. Grey x Vic”? And, I was like nah. But, then I was like hmm...And now here’s almost 1500 words of that lmao

mildly spicy

Underneath the cut. Gender neutral! Vic. 

You don’t know when you started fantasizing about Dr. Grey. You can’t pinpoint a particular moment, a particular point in time, when your view of him shifted—from mentor to…well, whatever filth your mind conjured up. All you know is, you didn’t have this problem before you became chief resident. And, now, sitting alone in your office, all you can think about is his hands on you—taking you apart.

You scowl and swivel in your chair. This is inconvenient. No, more than inconvenient. Morally untenable. Peter—no, you correct yourself, Dr. Grey—is your attending, the chief of NINO surgery, your boss. So you’re not a baby resident anymore. You’re chief. You’re almost an attending: just a year’s difference. You’re almost equals, technically, so it’s not that terrible…

You hiss in frustration and resist the urge to bang your head against your desk. Out of all the people to lust after, why him? Why the person you most admire? A man so out of your league that it’s almost pathetic, how much you want his mouth on yours (or him smiling at you, or him holding you close)—stop. 

It’s impossible. Even if it wasn’t a grey zone (ha!) ethics-wise, there’s no way he’d go for someone like you. Just look at his ex-wife. Neurosurgeon, turned admin shark. You’re…what? Just a resident, at the end of the day, whose hands still shake sometimes during surgery. Ale has always said you were a catch, but in comparison to Dr. Grey? 

Not a chance. 

You startle when you hear a knock on your door. It’s almost 11 p.m.—who could possibly want you at this hour? Who could still possibly be here in this hospital at this hour? 

“Vic?” 

Shit. 

You take a deep breath, and try to arrange your face into your most neutral expression, your I-was-not-just-thinking-about-your-tongue-down-my-throat expression, before you open the door.

Dr. Grey’s standing in front of you, as stupidly handsome as ever. He’s probably been up since five in the morning, but he wears it well: his hair tousled just so, that trace of a five o’clock shadow on his face. How is it that you have more eye bags than he does? It is decidedly unfair.

“I saw the light was still on,” Dr. Grey says. You realize belatedly that you’re blocking the doorway, and you step aside to let him in. “It’s late…you should head home.”

You shrug, keeping your voice nonchalant. “I had some work to catch up on. I’m almost done.”

I’ve also being imagining you fucking me senseless, but that’s neither here nor there.

“I see.” Dr. Grey clears his throat. It’s strange, this look on his face. He looks uncomfortable, but why? 

You run through the past week in your head. Did you fuck up during one of his cases? No. Maybe it’s something about how you’re doing as chief? But, he just praised you when you met with him last Wednesday. 

“It’s just…” Dr. Grey sighs. “I think you’ve been avoiding me. And, I was wondering why?”

You feel your cheeks flush against your will, and you turn around quickly to close the door—just so he won’t see before you can get yourself under control. So you haven’t been subtle. You thought you were, but of course Dr. Grey’s as perceptive as he is competent. How can you pretend that everything is normal around him, when you’re literally imagining the nastiest things he could do to you when you’re at home, when you’re bored in the office? It’s gross, this…this attraction you have towards him. You see his hands, and you just want them to run over your body. You see his mouth, and you just want them between your legs. 

“I haven’t,” you mutter. You walk to your desk, purposefully ignoring his gaze, and start packing up for the day. “I’ve been busy, that’s all.”

“Are you sure?” You don’t need to look at him to hear the doubt in his voice. “You can tell me, if I’ve done something wrong.”

This is truly hell. Not only are you lusting after your attending, your attending thinks that he’s offended you. You want to crawl into a hole and die. 

“You’ve done nothing wrong,” you say between your teeth. You zip up your backpack with a sharp jerk of your hand. “It’s not you at all.”

“What is it then?” You make the mistake of looking up, and you see the worry in Dr. Grey’s eyes. 

Fuck.

“You can tell me,” Dr. Grey says gently. “I’m your mentor, aren’t I? That’s what I’m here for.”

Double fuck.

You clench your jaw, debating whether you should just leave. No, that would be rude. And—damn it, if you still don’t want to please him (in multiple ways, your traitorous mind whispers). 

“It’s not something you can fix,” you finally say. 

Tell me, Dr. Grey, how I can stop thinking about you.

“What?” Dr. Grey blinks. 

“What?” you say. Now he looks taken aback, pale even. Surely he’s not that invested in your problems? “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You…” Dr. Grey trails off, and then seems to steel himself. “You think about me?”

FUCK.

If you wanted to crawl into a hole and die before, this is a thousand times worse. You want to self-immolate. You want to crumble into dust. This is officially the worst day of your life. 

“I—” The words seem to dry in your mouth. “I…”

You stare at him. He stares at you. You realize that he’s only a foot away from you. So close. You could close the gap very easily. You could touch his face, lean in, and…

Well. As the saying goes. In for a penny.

You take a step closer. He doesn’t move. You can’t read his expression, but when your hand cups his cheek, you feel his touch on your wrist—firm. 

“What are you doing?” Dr. Grey whispers. 

“I don’t know,” you admit. You can feel the heat in your face, but you ignore it. There are a thousand rational alarm bells ringing in your head, but you ignore them too. The words slip out of your mouth before you can stop them. Or, maybe, you don’t want to stop them.

“I want you,” you say softly. “You have no idea.”

His hand around your wrist, his face so close. You want to kiss him—but you know you can’t make this move. Only him. 

You feel your stomach drop when he lets go of you and steps away. Your arm falls to your side, slack. 

“I…” Dr. Grey starts, then stops, then says, “I can’t.”

“I see.” You hate how wounded you feel in this moment. “I should get going. If we could never talk about this again—”

“Vic.” His voice stops you before you can leave. You swivel around slowly…and you’re shocked by what you think is pain on Dr. Grey’s face.

“I’m your attending,” Dr. Grey says slowly. “This isn’t…it wouldn’t be…”

“Do you want me?” you say. 

The answer, when it comes, is barely more than a whisper. “Yes.”

“Then have me,” you choke out. 

Dr. Grey shakes his head. “It’s not that simple. You know it’s not that simple.”

“For once, I wish you weren’t such a good guy,” you snap. You know it’s wrong, to get angry at him for doing the right thing, but you can’t help yourself. You feel humiliated, you feel dirty—you never want to show your face at Citadel again—and his arms are around you suddenly, and you realize that you are, in fact, crying, and despite everything, you drop your head on his shoulder and bury your face there. 

“I’m sorry,” Dr. Grey says. “I’m so sorry.”

“You must pity me,” you manage to say. You can’t believe you’re sobbing like some intern in a supply closet. 

“No,” Dr. Grey says. His hands are on your back, rubbing soothing circles between you’re shoulder blades. It’s so nice you want to cry even more. “I’d never pity you.”

Then, Dr. Grey says, “Just…give me some time.”

You look at him. “Time for what?”

“To think about things,” he says. The two of you are pressed so close, you can feel the heat of his body against yours. 

You shouldn’t hope. Yet.

“Okay,” you say. “Okay.”

[allyvampirelass29]

Murder at Cripple Creek

A NOS4A2 Review By: Allyssa J. Watkins

A boomtown swimming with ghosts Dead eyes can't hide Their hedonist living Drinking, debauchery and sinning Scarlet ladies having babies But a whorehouse is not a home Trading flesh for coin Tempting patrons, at the sacrifice of your boy Little Charlie grew up in the hellish dark The sins of the mother Scarring the son's heart Murder brewing in this simmering fleshpot Oh Hateful Harlot, Mother Manx Is is to your neglect and bitter thanks Your baby boy, molested, and you can't protect Your little dreamer from the wicked world you wrought for him Blood on a beautiful boy's hands But the only thing murdered here Is his innocence. Sending his rapist and that lustful bitch Back to hell Charlie, Charlie you're not a villain You had to save yourself.......

Is...... anyone alive out there? It's been days, and I'm still sobbing, my heart desolated by the roiling emotional turmoil, my ignited rage murderous. I don't know about you guys, but...... I'm an absolute wreck. WHY are you DOING this to me, NOS4A2!?!? After the brilliant turn of last week, the sleek sophistication, and glamourous entrapment, "Cripple Creek," was a backhand strike, a blatant violation that I never saw coming, and I spent the entire episode, quivering, sobbing, pleading desperately behind my hands plastered over my face, watching between my fingers, helpless to stop the punishing abuse My Charlie suffers in two different timelines, his bruises of an abused childhood mingling with the fresh wounds of now, as he is tortured, beaten and berated by Bing Partridge!!!

I hated this episode. I HATED it. There, I said it. But I think you're supposed to, I think that was the sole purpose of this traumatizing ordeal. However, as far as Bing (GO TO HELL YOU FILTHY BASTARD) is concerned, the writer's motivation seems drastically convoluted. If this was supposed to be Bing's Big Epiphany, his "redemption," (Ughhh seriously?) This episode fails miserably in accomplishing that. And if this episode was meant to do, what I had predicted back in Season One, cement him as the actual villain of NOS4A2, making him the more immoral evil, be his rise in notoriety, his coming of age as it were, into the monster he was always going to be, giving Charlie and Vic someone to unite their hatred against, it fails to do that too. The biggest misstep of the series, after so elegant a triumph, I'm going to drown my sorrows in ice cream, and try to forget that any of it ever happened. Close your eyes, and think of Christmasland........

I audibly groaned when we opened onto Bing at the Lake House. After so much needless repetition in an otherwise FLAWLESS episode, I REALLY did not want to relive Bing's point of view of the siege, unless it was him getting shot by white knight Chris McQueen over, and over, and over........ Thankfully, the rewind didn't last too long, but I was having NONE of his, "Are you there, God, it's me, Bing Partridge," moment!!! On his knees in the graveyard, (Why...... why are we in a graveyard?) Bing appeals to the heavens, proclaiming his own innocence, asking God to show him what he should do next. I snickered coldly, the whole thing melodramatic, and absurd, as he cries, "I've been so good!!!" Secretly, I was fantasizing about Buffy SLAYING his creepster ass in the graveyard, beating him bloody, before staking him in the heart with a witty saying like, "It's been a gas, Bing, but I get the last laugh!!!" Alas, alack, no such luck. His appeal to the heavens was answered not in divine intervention, but with bird droppings splattering in his mouth, which of course, translated in Bing-A-Ling Logic to, "Kill the FIRST person that tries to help you, bury him in the freshly dug grave, and take his keys!!!" It's PRAYING Bing, you dolt, not preying!!!

While the side quest FINALLY explains how Bing was able to catch up to Charlie and Wayne, after previously believed to be on foot, not to mention shot, which would have been IMPOSSIBLE, supernatural car not withstanding, it's altogether unnecessary. It was the less than scenic route to get to last week's blood-curdling cliff hanger, and I really think we could have done without all the maudlin hullaballoo, and picked right up from there. Also, it creeped me out BIG TIME hearing Bing Partridge say, "Hidey holes," because that's what I called them last week, when Charlie was adorably telling Wayne about his hiding places. "Look at you with your hidey holes, Babe!!!" Needless to say, Bing has ruined that phrase for me FOREVER!!!

"Charlie, Charlie, telling lies, soon he will be crying cries......" A chilling foreboding that was like ice in my veins........ I was definitely crying cries...... I literally WEPT with this horrid little rhyme, and even still I was so naïve, unprepared, for the gut-churning horror that waited in the shadows of a broken little boy's murdered childhood, and the degradation of the beautiful soul that survived it. It's one of the most grueling, and disturbing things, I've ever watched, and like my Darling Boy, strapped to the chair, enduring forced interrogation by gassing, brutal beatings by Bing's homicidal, ham-fisted punches, and some....... deeply unsettling sexual innuendo, I felt like I was the one getting tortured.........

I did utterly enjoy Charlie's feigned relief, as he uses that silver tongue, in valiant effort, to slip his way out of this sickening predicament. "Bing, My Dear Fellow, thank the stars! I thought you had been done in by those wretched McQueens!!" Charlie gasps, thankfully, knowing full well he'd left Bing behind to die, and for good reason. Any other time, this would have worked, Charlie would have used his coaxing charm, and Bing's oafish gullibility, twisted them into a breathtaking manipulation, weaving the lie that he had no choice but to leave him behind, and Bing would have eaten it out of the palm of his hand, because he wants that badly for it to be true. But Bing watched it happen, his face falling, as Charlie sped off without him, and he's DONE playing. Charlie's pleas fall on deaf ears, as Bing drugs him for answers, revealing the fatalities of every single one of Charlie's former accomplices, and with the finality of one apocalyptic truth....... Bing descends into a frenzied, foaming madness.

"Cripple Creek," is the double edged sword that none of us were meant to survive. Switching between the stabbing scenes of Charlie's withering assault, his lifeline to The Wraith, cruelly severed, and the slicing violation of his childhood self, his innocence massacred before our very eyes, our bleeding hearts never stood a chance. I always knew that Charlie's childhood was going to be horrid, downright Dickensian, devoid of magic and light, unloved by his drunk, whore mother, but I had no idea the HELL this beautiful boy endured at so tender an age, forever scarred, betrayed by the one person he trusted, respected, desperately in need of a father figure, only to be exploited in the most heinous way. It's a MIRACLE My Precious Love can even function as an adult, much less still manage to find wonder and beauty in the world, clinging, clawing to hold onto his ember, his remnant of pure light that persevered in a life of darkness.

The inexplicable joy at seeing a young Charlie Manx, aged 11 or 12, tapdancing on stage, along with the giddy marvel that this young actor looks just like our leading man in miniature, is short-lived, as a stranger takes an uncomfortable interest in him....... I don't know how, maybe it was the intent way he watched him dance, or the way he touched his shoulder a little too long, but I knew........ I KNEW this man was going to sexually abuse Charles, I felt it gnawing in my stomach, instantly unnerved, and I hoped with all my heart, my first instinct was wrong....... I'm devastated to say........ it was not.

Not only does this manipulative pedophile Son of a BITCH molest my baby, he first uses him to persuade other boys to flock to his house, knowing full well how much the young ones look up to Charlie, as their leader. He wins Charlie's favour and trust by befriending him, and giving our little darling the one thing he wants more than anything else. Escape. Escape from the vulgar, gratuitously sexual environment, that no young boy should have to endure, a chance to make money, have an honest, respectable living. A chance to have a father figure, a man to look up to, learn from, and take him under his wing. The shop owner offers all of that, with a crooked smile, the charade falling dangerously away, as he knocks back a shot glass, eying our boy, and then says in the cruelest, most chilling voice. "You've earned yourself some fun........"

Thankfully, NOS4A2 was not overly graphic in this lewd portrayal, but the innuendo was enough to make me ugly cry, and seethe, as this sweet child is violated by someone he admires so much, realizing in horror, that he led all of his friends to be mishandled in this same disgusting manner, like lambs to the slaughter. But our brave little Manx was NOT going to let this sin go unpunished, and I clapped, cheering him on, as he uses his sled, now tainted by its means of acquisition, to kill the shopkeeper, dark fire flashing in his eyes, blood splattering on the shot glass, and I've never been so happy, or nervously relieved to see someone die.

His mother comes to him, and instead of crying, and taking her boy in her arms, stroking his dark curls, soothing his fear, and assuaging his guilt, she just scoffs at his accusation, the picture of apathy, and places the blame back on him. "You knew too, Charlie!!!" You WHORE-ABLE Mother!!! Your son was just sexually ASSAULTED, and YOU DARE make it his own fault, like he'd turned a blind eye, and therefore deserved to get raped!?!? Charlie might not have killed her, if she'd actually had a maternal bone in her body, if she'd done SOMETHING, shown any sign of regret or compassion, but she doesn't, and I feel nothing but proud as he finishes her off too. Her death was surprising, given the admonishing way Charlie talks about his mother, creating the impression that she'd been a bane on his existence his entire life, and yes, as a writer, I wanted to see more of a direct conflict between them to make that defining moment that much more satisfying, but as a viewer, I was just grateful she was dead, and Charlie was free. The only murder perpetrated, the only death I mourned at Cripple Creek, was that of Charlie's innocence, his childhood slaughtered.

Meanwhile, Bing continues to torture Charlie in the present day, my chest shuddering with every thrown punch, and I have to bite my lip to keep from screaming. What was the deafening truth spoken that sends Bing Partridge into a flailing rage, you ask?

"Christmasland is for children. We are special...... That's why we can't go......."

Charlie was never going to take Bing to Christmasland. All that this poor dope had lived for, dreamed of, for eight years, amidst his conning his way into dentists' offices, and offing mothers, and it was always a lie. I had suspected it the entire time, especially after the mention of a, "special feast," but what SHOCKED me the most, was the unimaginable heartbreak of Charlie's own deepest secret coming to light, and as Bing draws it forth, it's like drawing blood. In spite of being the architect of his lifelong dream, and greatest solace from a life full of abject misery, Charlie doesn't think he deserves Christmasland, because he sees himself as ruined........

I broke down sobbing, that pain, that anguish, that he's so long carried with him, ripping through me, and I'm tearing up even as I write this, remembering....... Charlie denying himself his own dream, seeing himself as a ruined article that might profane its pure vision, is a tragedy that I can't come back from. It's a sorrowful, aching confession, and yet somehow it explains so much, and in this, his greatest pain, his darkest secret, I felt intimately closer to him. At last........ we see why Charlie never stays long in his Christmas kingdom, why he's so focused on the next child, and the next, sacrificing time with his own daughter, because they deserve Christmasland, and he doesn't. Always the courier, never the partaker. Christmasland is for children, and Charlie Manx never got the chance to be one.

The searing pains of his past still guide so much of who he is today, placing a strict emphasis on propriety in every aspect of his person, in manner, speech, and dress, because he was robbed of his dignity as a child. I also, FINALLY, after two seasons, understand why he turns the children into vampires, a contradiction to his love of them, that has remained frustratingly elusive to my grasp. Charlie's childhood was taken from him, brought to a vulnerable, violent end, and by turning the Lost Children, theirs becomes eternal. They never have to grow up, and lose that purity, that innocence. I also realized, that by giving them their bite back, they are able to defend themselves, meaning no one can ever hurt them again.......

There was so much awful going on, so much inflicted misery, and disorienting chaos, that I was sure I'd heard wrong when Bing decides on an even more dehumanizing method of torture. Did Bing just...... call Charlie a BITCH!? I shook my head, but there it was again, and at this point I'd HAD it. Somebody give me a GUN, I will WASTE this SICK BASTARD myself!!! The skeevy sexual threat against Charlie felt like overkill to me, utterly ridiculous, a cheap shot at adding dramatic effect, especially in the face of his childhood shame. Bing has exhibited absolutely no inclination of...... swinging that way, as it were, before, and yeah they kind of threw in last minute that he'd done this to Mike's father, offscreen, but I don't know WHY he would do that, especially given his particular affinity for Mike. Charlie, himself, pointed out that there was no indication in the Graveyard of What Might Be that Mike needed saving, or that his father deserved punishing. It's awkward, and disturbing, and there seemed to me no method in this madness.

"If I'm a monster....... who deserves to die....... You deserve so much worse." BAM. Hell yeah, Babe!!! Thank GOD, Charlie's quick enough to convince Bing that he too is a monster, and we are spared any further asinine innuendo. Bing, after these series of unfortunate events, beating, berating, and threatening Charlie with rape, suddenly, deus ex machina-esque has a change of heart, and an epiphany that comes a LOT TOO LATE!!! We're both monsters, we BOTH deserve to die....... What we're doing is WRONG. Was I happy when Bing urged Wayne to go, and tell a police officer that his mom is Vic McQueen? Yes. Do I believe he did it out of the goodness of his heart, and has finally seen the light? Freaking HELL NO!!! Bing, after losing Christmasland, has nothing left to live for, and this is his way of giving up. If I can't go to Christmasland, Wayne can't go...... and he decides a bizarre murder/suicide in The Wraith is his final act of redemption.

Before they even showed the car crusher, I was already sobbing profusely, losing my freaking mind, because I had figured out exactly where Bing had taken Charlie.

"There's going to be two less monsters in the world........"

Meaning to crush them both, and kill the Wraith irrevocably, Bing puts on his mask, and presses the button. At first Wayne laughs, and thinks it's a game, his inner vampire child coming out, but when it hits him that Charlie's in actual danger, he realizes he has a choice to make....... Save Charlie Manx, or let him die, and go home safe to his Mom and Lou.

"No, My Boy, this isn't a game, it's time to play, Save Father Christmas!!!"

Charlie calls out frantically, coaxingly to his young charge, and I loved that so much, my heart overwhelmed with emotion. Yes, Wayne, PRETTY PLEASE save Father Christmas!!! A lot of people despised him for what happened next, screaming at Wayne for his choice, even calling him a stupid kid, but I, myself, felt even more love in my heart for that already dearly cherished little lad, as he smiles, and slams down on the button, halting the crusher, and saving Charlie from imminent death.

It's a profound moment, the abductee choosing to save his kidnapper's life, and many cried out strongly against it, but you have to understand....... Charlie Manx has become so much more to Wayne than the scary face in his mother's paintings. Here is a man that has shown genuine interest in his life, his hopes, his dreams, who has treated him gently, fussed over him, concerned, and who has come to love him like a father. Couple that with The Wraith's effects on Wayne, slowly tying the two of them together, it makes perfect sense to me, how this unexpected bond has formed. Yes, had Vic been there, herself, he would have chosen her over Charlie in a second, but when faced with the reality of letting Charlie die, our tender-hearted Bats just couldn't do it.

"Do think of me at Christmastime, won't you?"

CHARLIE. LIKE. A. BOSS!!!! The single greatest moment, and brightest scene in an hour of plunging darkness, is definitely Charlie, snapping back into his delectably dark, unrivaled perfection (although, I must say I still found him incredibly dashing in his distinguished grays) charging Bing Partridge, murder striking in his wild, smouldering eyes, stabbing him, with a reveling whisper, twisting the knife, with this most PERFECT line, that gave me wonderous, reverberating chills!!! I also LOVED how Charlie glowers in his lumpy face and says, "You were never special." DAMN that's HOT!!! My only grievance with an otherwise ENTHRALLING moment, was that inexplicably, yet again, CHARLIE DIDN'T KILL BING!!! Charlie has KILLED for so much less, and while he did offer a vague explanation about prison being so much worse for Bing than hell, it felt like hell frozen over that Charlie would ever let Bing live. I know this is the writers wanting to keep Bing around to creep another day, but MY GOD, hang that Partridge from a pear tree, and HAVE DONE already!!!!!

This was an especially dark episode, but there were flashes of some really beautiful, albeit fleeting moments, first with Wayne and Craig, and then with Millie and Cassie, though the reoccurring theme, the common thread, did seem to be Innocence Lost. I was startled with the The Wraith's sneaky trick of causing a child to forget their parents the longer they are in the car, and BLESS YOU, Craig for helping your son remember his mother, and fight the transformation!!! He tells Wayne that Vic's favourite movie was Jaws, and Wayne tells him that her favourite holiday is the 4th of July. (Which is really cool, because it's my favourite too!!!) This slows the Wraith's effects on Wayne, and becomes a very special moment between father and son, as they fight to keep Vic's memory alive.

"How do you know my mom?"

"She was my best friend."

More overwhelmed sobs, because apparently I haven't cried enough this episode!!! Craig decides not to tell Wayne that he's his father, but our little Bats is ingeniously clever, and I think he's going to figure it out before long!!! Another mini heart attack comes with a second lost tooth. The suspense of Wayne's slow turning, mirroring the tender emotion in this scene was fantastic.

Millie and her mother have a similar moment, and I thought that was BRILLIANT of her to introduce Vampire Millie to her former human self. The two play with dolls, and human Millie talks about how she can't wait to go on a date, and have adventures when she grows up! It's such an endearing scene, and also incredibly sad, as the pale, gaunt shell of Vampire Millie envies her bright, and bubbly human counterpart, seeing the hope and innocence that she's so long been bereft of. "She's me...... Who I'm supposed to be." Cassie explains that her father's sad fantasy is depriving Millie of the gift of growing up, and explains that there's nothing Charlie Manx fears more than a woman with her own mind, and that's the LAST thing he wants his beloved daughter to become. A woman that would eventually leave him. More tears. Poor Millie. Poor Charlie!! Can I just give everybody a hug!?

"Cripple Creek," lingers like BAD Dream, and all I want to do right now, is curl up with Charlie Manx, hold him in my arms, stroke his cheek, soothe him with the tenderest hands, and softest words, tell him he's beautiful, and that he deserves Christmasland, and the world, that he's not ruined, but PURE!!! This was my least favourite episode in the entire series, and just like, "The Gas Mask Man," will be skipped indefinitely in the re-watch, but like I said, it endeared Charlie even more to my heart, and I feel fiercely protective over him, over that goodness that still glows in his dark eyes, despite lifetimes of feeling unloved, and in ever-present pain. All I ever wanted in Season One, was a glimpse into the past that crafted my mysterious and refined vampire chauffeur, and this entire experience, My Darlings, is an exercise in, "Be Careful What You Wish For..........."

[australiancarisi]

Rafael Barba ~ Just Some...

Sometimes Rafael gets insecure and when he does he speaks his mind words: 2178 This has literally been sitting in my drafts half-finished since march oops

“Why hello Mr ADA to what do I owe the pleasure so bright and early?” You smiled up at Rafael from your desk. It had just gone 10, rarely did Rafael come to the precinct before noon. It had been a few days since you had seen Rafael, he had been in court and the squad had recently had an influx of cases. You looked your boyfriend up and down, god he looked good today. He always looks good but today.... extra good.

“Looking for Liv” Rafael mumbled before looking around at the empty precinct “where is everyone?”

“Fin and Nick have gone to the victim's old high school, Dodds and Carisi are getting all the doctor's examination details and Liv and Rollins... I think talking to the vic’s family but I’m not too sure” you shrugged

“Why are you here then?” he asked. You frowned for a second taking your boyfriend in. He was acting strange. The normally cocky Cuban, who, when given an empty precinct, would normally jump at the chance to flirt and kiss you at work, just stood against Carisi’s desk with his hands in his pockets looking anything but cocky.

“Paperwork” you said holding up the files “I’m too far behind apparently” you rolled your eyes “you okay?”

“Yeah fine” Rafael shrugged “get Liv to call me when she in”

“Will do” you frowned as Rafael turned on his heels and walked away. In the nearly 3 years that you had been dating Rafael that was not how he acted with you, not even in the first year of you guys dating when you were still hiding it from everyone.

You and Rafael started dating just under a year after you joined SVU. You came from major crimes after SVU had a high profile case that you had helped them on. They were understaffed at the time so Liv asked your lieutenant if you could help out more. After a month of working with SVU, you knew it was where you belong. You fit in well with the team despite being a relatively young detective, you liked that you were able to help people and make a difference. It felt like you belonged there. Everything was great, except for one thing. You and Rafael did not get along. He saw things clearly in black and white whereas you saw grey. You bent the rules, so much so that they would nearly snap in half Rafael would say, and he didn’t like that. The two of you would fight and argue like cats and dogs. It wasn’t until you were put on his detail after he revealed that he was getting death threats did the two of you start to feel sparks.

You and Sonny were given the night shift after Rafael gave a guy his home address on the steps of the courthouse that day.

“I mean seriously who does that?” You grumbled as you heard Rafael get in the shower “I don’t want to be here!”

“Suck it up doll face” Sonny grinned at you

“I had leftover Thai food in my fridge! I’ve been looking forward to it all day!” You huffed like a child “if he wants to be stupid enough to give out his address that’s on him”

“Come on y/n we can’t just let him get murdered. Who else would put up with your crazy ideas?” Sonny laughed taking a seat on the couch.

“Put up with? Your kidding right? He shuts down all my ideas”

“That’s because they are usually nearly illegal”

“Exactly nearly illegal not actually illegal” Sonny was about to reply when his phone rang. You got comfy on the couch as he walked away to answer.

“I’ve gotta go” Sonny said grabbing the suit jacket that he had hung over the back of one of the chairs when he had walked in.

“Everything okay?” You frowned

“It’s Bella. She fell down some stairs and hit her heard. Knocked herself out” Sonny said

“Oh my god, Sonny go” you said basically pushing him out the door

“Are you going to be okay on your own?” Sonny asked

“We’ll be fine and at the first sign of trouble I'll call for back up I promise”

“Okay... I’ll let you know what happens” Sonny said before racing out the door. When the door closed behind him you took a moment to look around the apartment. It was just how you expected it to look. Not that you ever pictured Rafael’s apartment... it was relatively big for a New York apartment, open and airy with dark wood floors and bookcase upon bookcases. You moved around the apartment to have a closer look at things. The place really looked like a display home. Everything had a place and everything was in its place. There wasn’t any real sign of living besides the files Rafael had out of the table when he walked in and the single photo of him and who you assumed were his mother and grandmother. They all had the same eyes. You kept looking around Rafael’s apartment. You pulled out a law book and started flicking through it.

“I’m pretty sure being a part of my protective detail isn’t to look through my stuff” you jumped at Rafael’s voice.

You spent the night at Barba’s, despite the constant complaining from him. It took the squad about a week to find and arrest the people threatening Barba. Catching them, however, didn’t stop you from telling Barba what an idiot he was in the first place. The two of you bickered back and forth for months until it built up and burst when Barba cupped your face and kissed you late one night in his office while you were arguing about a case. That kiss led to taking him back to your place.

After a couple months of fooling around together, the two of you decided to actually pursue a relationship. It was actually after Rafael got jealous after a case. He and the squad went out to a bar to celebrate. You’re young, the youngest on the squad and there were a lot of people throwing themselves at you. Rafael was not happy with that. You disclosed 2 months after officially getting together after Nick accidentally walked in on the two of you in Rafael’s office.

Over a couple of hours, everyone had made their way back to the precinct. You’d finally caught up on enough paperwork to be able to get in on the current case. You tired texting Rafael throughout the day but got no response. Which was weird. Rafael always responded to your messages no matter who he was with unless he was in court but you knew he wasn’t. The squad were sitting around throwing out theories and evidence on the case, which unfortunately wasn’t much at all.

“So basically what you are saying is we have nothing” Fin sighed “We need a warrant to search the teacher's house”

“Barba is not going to get us a warrant based on this” Sonny said pointing to the whiteboard

“Not us but maybe....” Amanda trailed off as she turned her attention to you

“Normally I would agree but not today” you frowned at your phone, still no response

“What have you done this time?” Mike smirked as you grabbed a nearby piece of paper and threw it at him

“Nothing! He was here earlier looking for Liv. Did you talk to him?” You asked

“He wanted to go over some motions the defence in the Merlot case were filing” Liv said

“Did he seem normal to you?”

“As normal as Barba can be” Nick laughed earning high fives from Amanda and Mike, two which you threw paper at them as well. Liv shrugged and the conversation went back to the case at hand.

After another couple of hours and you finally had enough evidence to get a warrant. Mike threw the file down on your table. 

“Why me?” You asked 

“Just to make sure we actually get the warrant, get the warrant and then you can clock off for the day” Mike smirked “No funny business while you’re still on the clock” 

“Seriously how are you a Sargent?” You rolled your eyes before picking up your phone “Hey Carmen... Need to come down and talk him into getting us a warrant just wanna check he’s free...huh...no he didn’t...okay thanks” 

“Everything good?” Sonny asked 

“Yeah all good” you smiled packing up your stuff and picking up the file “I’ll let you guys know if I can convince him to try and get us the warrant” 

You left the precinct and headed straight to Rafael’s place. The two of you spent most nights at either his place or yours, more often his because it was closer to both the courthouse and the precinct then yours and the fact that Rafael usually worked later than you. You’d have to go and pull him out of his office. 

But not tonight. 

Carmen informed you that Rafael had left the office an hour before you called. This wasn’t like Rafael. Leaving work early... Not responding to messages... something was up. 

You quietly opened the door to Rafael’s apartment using the spare key Rafael had given you. Rafael was sitting in his armchair, scotch in hand. The apartment was eerily quiet. 

“Hey Raf” You said breaking the silence. He didn’t respond, didn’t even look at you. “Hey... Rafi... are you okay?” 

“Of course why wouldn’t I be?” Rafael asked taking a sip of his drink, still never looking at you. You sighed and threw your stuff down. 

“Rafael, what is going on?” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I haven’t seen you outside of the courthouse or precinct in days and you are giving me nothing” you said “So I repeat what is going on?” 

“I saw you the other day on the steps of the courthouse” Rafael said after a moment of silence. You frowned trying to think back. “with that beat cop” 

“... Officer Jackson? the rookie? the new guy at our precinct?” You asked

“Your precinct” he corrected “and yes... you looked... cosy” 

“... Rafael... are you jealous? Seriously? of some kid?” You asked. Rafael had a jealous streak, it was the reason you got together because he couldn’t stand to see you with someone else. He was overprotective as well. He hated having to watch you go on stings and into interrogations with violent men or having to watch you flirt with them. 

“You say some kid as if you weren’t in his shoes not too long ago” Rafael mumbled. It was something that was joked about a bit between you and the squad, the fact that there was a bit of an age gap between you and Rafael. It never bothered you and Rafael though. 

“Rafi... really?” You asked him,. He just shrugged and took another sip of scotch. “So you saw me with another cop and now you’re being a moody teenager?” 

“He’s young, a cop. You were laughing...smiling...” Rafael sighed “I just don’t get it... Out of everyone you picked me and that surprises me cause I was alway last inline” 

“Not my line” you smiled

“That’s why I’m overprotective of you” Rafael said finally looking you in the eye placing the scotch on the coffee table next to him. “I have something... someone that I don’t deserve and I don’t want to lose it” 

“Rafi” you whispered. You slowly moved closer to him hoping that he would let you in. When he didn’t object you sat in his lap. You wrapped an arm around him, running your fingers through the back of his hair. 

“Sometimes it still hits me...” Rafael whispered “Like why me? Why does she want to spend the rest of her with me?” 

“Rafi, why wouldn’t I? You are everything I’ve ever wanted in a guy. A soul mate, a best friend. You are everything to me Rafi” You said “I love you Rafi, you and only you” 

“You deserve so much more than me”

“Why? Why do you think that?” 

“Because I’m just some fat Cuban kid from the Bronx. Who had a crappy dad, who couldn’t look after himself I always had to have Eddie or Alex fix my problems” 

“Just some... Rafael, you are a lawyer, not just any lawyer but a Harvard educated lawyer. You are a respected New York City ADA... You might not see how amazing you are but I do” 

“You deserve-” 

“I get to decide what I deserve” You cut him off “and I deserve you. I love you. I love you more than anything and no young rookie is gonna ever take me from you” 

“Thank you” Rafael sighed. You leant down and kissed him 

“Now a hot defence lawyer well....” you smirked at him causing him to laugh 

“I love you” Rafael kissed your hand that wasn’t in his hair. 

“Don’t forget it” you grinned at him “Now the actual reason I’m here we need a warrant for.......”

[call-me-rei]

Chapter 1

My name is Vic Fuentes. I’m your regular, mild-mannered seventeen year old Mexican boy. I’m a good kid. I have a perfect record, volunteer at an animal shelter on weekends, don’t drink or smoke, have an all-A average in school, play soccer and guitar, and try to set the best example I can for my younger brother.

Yup, I’m every parent’s dream child.

I have a great group of friends who I love dearly, and go to a great school where I’m not the most popular person, but I’m not the nerd who gets beat up. My life is pretty sweet.

“C’mon Vic, we’re gonna be late,” my younger brother, Mike, yelled from downstairs. I was stuffing my books in my backpack in my room. Since he was yelling from downstairs chances were that he had scarfed down breakfast in record time and was eager to get on with the next thing, which was the walk to school.

School wasn’t Mike’s favorite thing in the world (is it anyone’s?), but he enjoyed the walk. We always passed the house of a certain girl, Alysha Nett. Mike had such a crush on her. Every time we passed he would hope that we’d bump into her. We never did.

“Calm down bro, I’m ready,” I answered as I walked down the steps.

He tapped his foot in annoyance. “If I miss Alysha walking out again I’m gonna be so mad,” he said. He just wanted to catch her once so he would have an excuse to talk to her. He figured she left for school earlier than us so he would try to leave earlier than we usually would. Unfortunately my body still didn’t agree with getting up so early.

I checked the time on my phone. “Dude, we’re still fifteen minutes ahead of our usual schedule,” I said.

“Well time’s winding down. Let’s go.” He pushed past me toward the door and walked outside. I shook my head and followed him out, locking the door behind me.

“I don’t get what your obsession with Alysha is,” I began as we walked down the street. “You’ve never even spoken to her. You don’t even know what her voice sounds like.”

“It sounds like angels singing,” he responded dreamily. “And her skin is soft and her hair smells like peaches.”

“And you know all this how?”

He shrugged. “You can just tell these things about a person. It’s not that hard to figure out.”

I shook my head. My brother had always been girl crazy, so his recent obsession with Alysha wasn’t much of a surprise. What was a surprise was the fact that this crush had lasted longer than usual. The last few crushes he had lasted at most a couple weeks before he found someone more interesting. This Alysha thing had been going on for a month with no signs of slowing down. Maybe it was because she was a new student who hadn’t seemed to click with a group at school. Maybe he actually deemed her worthy of his undivided attention. Who knows.

“You know, you need to find someone,” he said.

“Why do you always bring this up?” I asked in vague annoyance. “I like being single. Besides, being in a relationship would distract me from college applications.”

Mike rolled his eyes. “That’s bullshit and you know it. You’re just afraid that you’ll fall for someone and it’ll end badly again.”

He was referring to my last crush. Nothing too terrible happened; I just told them that I liked them and it wasn’t reciprocated. Worst part was that they led me on up until their graduation last spring. I haven’t heard from them since.

“I’m not afraid,” I mumbled. Mike just shot me a smug look. He knew he was right, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of hearing me say it.

Mike began to slow down suddenly, as if he were being reluctantly dragged down the sidewalk. I sighed; I knew the reason why. We were about to pass Alysha’s house. He didn’t want to miss the moment Alysha stepped out and graced Mike’s world with her presence.

Unfortunately she didn’t come out.

“Mike,” I said when I noticed that he had completely stopped about a foot away from her house.

“Just five minutes, please?” he begged.

“C’mon Mikey, let’s go.” I walked back to where my brother was standing and put a hand on his back to guide him forward.

“But Vic,” he whined.

“You know we can’t stand here like some stalkers. The neighbors would call the cops.”

He sighed. “Yeah.” He slowly dragged his feet forward, seeing as there was no longer a reason for him to move quickly.

“You’ll catch her one day,” I said, “and when you do, you’ll never let go.”

***

The day went by quickly, with Mike texting me about how pretty Alysha looked today (I barely knew the girl so it made me a little uncomfortable). By the end of the day I knew that Mike had pretty much been staring at her in his classes (they had every class together today), and hadn’t listened to anything any of his teachers had said.

I shut my locker and flung my backpack over my shoulder. The school day was done but I had soccer practice today. I usually love going to soccer but after waking up early to catch a girl who never showed up and hearing about it all day, I was exhausted. I just wanted to go home, crawl into bed, and sleep until tomorrow.

“Vic!” I turned in the direction of the voice. It was my friend Jaime.

“What’s up, Hime Time?”

“Not much,” he said with a shrug. “We’re going out in a bit, probably to the mall for some junk food and babe watching. You in?”

I shook my head. “I’ve got soccer, then homework, and definitely a nap.”

“Dude, all you ever do is homework, soccer, and play with dogs-”

“Volunteer,” I corrected.

“Whatever. My point is that you need to get out more. Do something fun.”

“I do a lot of fun things,” I countered.

“Fucking lies!” Jaime and I looked toward the source of the voice, our friend Curtis. I rolled my eyes at his outburst but smiled.

“You don’t know my life,” I said.

“’Course I do,” he said nonchalantly. “I don’t know why you act like we aren’t close or something.”

Curtis had a point. He and I had been friends since birth. Literally. Our mothers were pregnant at around the same time, not to mention we’d lived next door to each other since then. We’d always gone to the same school and participated in the same activities. We were practically brothers. It wasn’t uncommon for us to spend days at each other’s houses, or go to school from one house and go home to another. We were lifelong partners in crime.

“Whatever,” I said with a dismissive wave.

“No, but seriously,” Jaime said, “you need to get a life. You can’t always spend your time doing things for your resume. Get out of your comfort zone.”

I shrugged. I guess I needed to get out more, do something different. But on the other hand, why? I had everything I needed within my “comfort zone”. Why fix what isn’t broken?

“I’ll see you guys later,” I said with an uncomfortable chuckle.

Curtis sighed. “Sure dude. You coming over after?”

“Probably not. I’ve got a paper to write.” He shrugged but let it go. With a wave he and Jaime walked toward the school’s exit, leaving me to ponder what they had said.

Was I really boring?

***

“I wouldn’t say boring, but you do need to spice up your life. Do something out of the ordinary.”

I rolled my eyes at Mike’s response. I was home from practice and sitting in the chair in Mike’s room.

“It doesn’t have to be big,” he continued, “just something that you wouldn’t do.”

“Like what?” I asked.

“I don’t know, talk to someone you wouldn’t normally talk to.”

“You’re one to talk,” I said with a smirk.

He frowned. “If I talk to her at school it’ll mess up the plan. I have to talk to her randomly. It’s the plan.”

I rolled my eyes again. Mike’s “plan” didn’t make much sense. According to him, the first time he would talk to Alysha had to be when we bumped into her on our walk to school. Apparently it had something to do with romantic comedies that girls like watching or something like that. I never understood, but Mike was certain that this plan would work out. So far in the last month it hasn’t but Mike’s optimistic enough for the both of us.

“Who am I even supposed to talk to?” I asked.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Make a new friend; someone who likes the same stuff you do.”

“I already have friends who like the same stuff I do.”

“Well make a brand new friend who likes the same stuff you do.”

“How?”

“The internet’s full of people.”

I looked at him with wide eyes. “You want me to talk to strangers on the internet?”

“Yeah…” I could tell he thought I was stupid, but our parents weren’t exactly fans of us talking to random people. You know, what with stranger danger and all that.

“I don’t know…,” I trailed off.

“Just do it,” he said sternly. “What’s the worst that could happen? As long as you don’t give these weirdos our address you’ll be fine.”

I thought it over. Could it really be that simple? Most likely no, what with IP addresses and weirdos around every corner who knew how to use them.

“Please, Vic,” he pleaded. “I’d hate for you to go to college and be thrown in a trashcan because you had no friends to bail you out because you didn’t know how to make them.”

I gave him a look. Although I doubted that I would be tossed in a trashcan by anyone, I could see that this meant a lot to him.

“Fine,” I sighed, “I’ll make friends with a stranger on the internet.”

He smiled widely but I didn’t catch what he said. I quickly made my way out of his room and into mine to avoid talking about the matter any further.

Was it really that simple, making new friends online? How was I to be sure that they weren’t creepy forty-year-olds looking for young kids?

I sighed. No need to be pessimistic, Vic.

I opened the Twitter app on my phone and began scrolling, hoping to distract my mind. I saw that one of my favorite bands had tweeted, which caused me to stop. Usually the individual members of the band tweeted on their own accounts and the band account hardly was used, except to announce new music or shows, or a member’s birthday.

The tweet was about an online community they had formed on Facebook. Apparently it was a closed group where fans could talk to each other about the band, food, personal problems, whatever, as long as there was no hate involved.

I was intrigued. This wasn’t something I would normally do, but it was exactly what Mike thought I should do. It was his idea to connect with someone who shared the same interests. Well, this band was one of my interests.

I clicked the link which opened the Facebook app. I requested to join the group and was send a two question quiz. After answering the questions with ease (I just had to complete the titles of the band’s two albums), I was allowed into the group. I saw that there were already some posts on the timeline.

It didn’t take me long to find the standard “introduce yourself in the comments” post, so that’s what I did:

“Hi, my name’s Vic. I’m 17 from San Diego and am semi-being forced into this group by my brother and friends because apparently I’m boring and need to make friends with strangers.”

That should make me some friends, right?

That didn’t matter. It was late and I was exhausted. Between having to wake up earlier because of Mike, school, soccer practice, that paper that I had started as soon as I got home, and the worry in the back of my mind that I was the most boring person in the world, I was in desperate need of some sleep. I plugged my phone in, turned off my light, and crawled into bed.

That night I wished for peaceful, dreamless sleep, and for at least one person to find me the least bit interesting.

---

Hi guys! Hope you enjoyed the first full chapter of Pen Pal. Leave some comments and give it a like. Ok loves, bai