#i have learned that allos don't even fucking realize how shitty they are

[invisiblerhythmcat]

allo friend who has been prioritizing in-person things and romantic/sexual partners just flaked on me for something I arranged specifically for her months in advance

I know some of this is because it's her first time having an in-person queer community

But, between the whole thing where I should really stop having allo friends because they keep fucking doing this and that I know she is choosing frequent, unmasked in-person interaction over safe, virtual connections just fucking hurts

I want her to have her community. It's hugely exciting that she gets this and she has been on a long journey to get here. But, I'm so sick of being left behind. And the whole thing where no one wears masks anymore is just making it worse and worse and worse.

this is why I tried relationships and ended up in really shitty situations to begin with and that was even more covid was making things worse

and I'm so sick of my role in relationships is to help people move on to someone else. Like, I have been integral in getting her to a place where she was able to transition and start going and meeting other trans people, etc. And then, as soon as she does, it's like I'm the least important person in her life.

and it makes me even angrier at my partner, because they were also aroace. They were supposed to be different. and then they ended up just expecting me to slip seamlessly into the role of caretaker instead of partner and didn't reach out to anyone but me for help even when I actively tried to help them to do that.

It just fucking sucks sometimes and I really need more aroaces in my life and fuck allos.