#i have gained 3 fucking diagnoses a million more pills yet my health continues to decline. when i think i've hit rock bottom and stabalized

[kenobihater]

man. i know it sounds counterintuitive considering my situation, but I'm finding the body horror aspect of the terror cathartic. like yeah, they're having a yearslong slide into full-on bodily rebellion and all the horrors present therein. the loss of autonomy, the new skin blemishes and hair changes, the weakness, the deficiencies, the frailty, not sleeping, sleeping too much, utter exhaustion, being unable to eat, losing weight rapidly, constant muscular tremors, brain fog, praying it stops, ignoring it until your haggard visage and wrecked body is unavoidable in the mirror, the fear, the fear, always fear, and you know it's bad, but there's no answers for far too long, and when (if) you get them a cure is questionable and your body might just kill you anyways. yeah i've been sick since sept '23 and have paid thousands of dollars in medical bills. these two things are entirely disconnected i'm sure.