#i have been experiencing severe anxiety basically all day every day for weeks now and i am so over it

[queen-tashie]

Now that I’ve gone through the worst of my physical disability, and I’m now receiving treatment, I wanted to talk about it since I couldn’t really find blogs detailing their experience besides one that was like “it barely affected me!” (Good for you, lady, could you at least share the LITTLE BIT it did affect you?)

Now for some details (get on with it, Tasha!)

What I have: Hyperthyroidism

How it affected me: in every facet of my life, it became a mental disability as much as a physical disability

Symptoms: so many. Too many, and from what medical professionals told me, it can affect everyone differently. So here’s what I experienced:

Severe anxiety (this manifested as imposter syndrome as I started a new job. Fun.)

Panic attacks (at one point I would have anywhere from 2-4, maybe more, per day)

Increased heart rate (resting and during light exertion)

Increased metabolism (was eating 4000 calories a day just so I could feel not hungry for 15 minutes, note how I did not say feel full. Weight loss is common for people but I am not sure if I did experience this.)

Muscle weakness (went from being able to squat 80lbs to barely being able to get up off the floor if I kneeled down)

Dry skin/scalp (idek with this one, it just happened)

Slightly itchy eyes

Hand tremors (especially if experiencing intense emotions)

Sensitivity to heat, sweating more easily (I am normally often cold and barely sweat even when working out)

Sleep problems/insomnia (worse than my usual coupled with ADHD. There were at least 2-3 nights I didn't sleep at all)

Light menstrual cycle (alarmingly light for me)

Thyroid gland swelling

My doctor detected it a year and a half ago, and sent me for a referral. I was pre-symptomatic at the time (besides the anxiety, that started around the same time). The specialist dismissed me fully from her clinic because I had zero symptoms.

Then last year I tested even higher (during the period where my anxiety became regular panic attacks). My doctor (bless her, she's the best) sent me for an EKG because I was worried about my heart rate. Fortunately that came back with no anomalies. But my thyroid levels (two of them, I think T3 and T4 but I may be misremembering) were 7x and 10x higher than they should've been, which explained all the symptoms.

Had to wait a month to get in with the specialist, but once I did I got medication and within a week I was already feeling better. It's been a few weeks now and I'm nearly 100%, at least in what I've seen so far. I'm working out again (though natural muscle atrophy has deteriorated some of my strength over 4 months), my heart rate is almost back to my normal resting rate, and most other symptoms are resolving. Based on the specialist's advice, the pharmacist, and a little looking online, the medication is supposed to start working after weeks or months. So I'm lucky. Even moreso that I didn't have even the basic and expected side effects (nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, itching/rash (although I did have two weird nights where I couldn't sleep because I was constantly itchy, but it didn't last)).

I'm still in recovery, but I seem to be out of the 'spoon theory' territory of any level of exertion, at least. I don't know if this will help anyone, I hope it does, but also if there's anything I didn't talk about (i.e.: how to cope with symptoms) feel free to ask in the notes or send me a direct ask.

[vikingnerd793]

I feel like I blocked 2020 out of my head for multiple reasons. One obviously being the pandemic but also that I got sick with a never diagnosed, mysterious illness for 6 months and I spent 6 months having to work remotely while feeling like my body was shutting down in some way.

I remember the symptoms randomly, miraculously clearing and disappearing entirely in October of 2020, right before AC Valhalla dropped.

The symptoms, I now realize, were eerily similar to what I am experiencing now but now it is far more generalized.

I had a weak neck but just felt sore all the time, so I ended up sitting in recliners a lot. I had what felt like fatigueable weakness in my chest and my arms, especially my left. I had stomach acid coming up when I was sleeping and this feeling like food was not moving right through my esophagus, so I didn't want to eat and when I did, it was very little. I had weakness in my diaphragm that would rear its ugly head, especially when bending over. Looking back the symptoms were actually super minor, but we're incredibly alarming because I just felt so weak and tired all the time.

And then it just went away. I was traumatized from it but said it was maybe just anxiety.

And then 2024 happened. Tattoo appointment, which caused an immune response, and then a wisdom tooth infection 7 days later because my immune system was probably overwhelmed fighting two things at once. Then antibiotics for 7 days before a major surgery that removed four wisdom teeth and drained an abscess. Followed by an allergic reaction to two different new antibiotics. I was tired ALL THE TIME for two weeks and thought it was just the surgery. Then one day I woke up, I had severe weakness in my neck, legs, and blurred vision in my eyes. Every blood panel for the next month convinced doctors nothing was wrong, it was just anxiety (LOL) .... I thought it was maybe an infection that spread from the original or I maybe was having some kind of reaction to something, but tests showed nothing.

Except those symptoms stuck around and fluctuated in severity by the hour and by the day. Eventually the weakness spread to my arms, my chest and my diaphragm (again.....) and now the neck weakness I felt in 2020 felt like complete neck instability. And unfortunately, my throat got involved on top of my esophagus so swallowing is impacted as is my ability to speak. Then my PCP flagged that it may be neurological and only a few things can cause these symptoms...one in particular, the triggers I've had and the symptoms are lining up almost perfectly. Unfortunately.

At first I didn't connect the two periods of illness but I remember in 2020, even when symptoms resolved I couldn't project my voice for a solid 6 months. I couldn't sing in the car, my voice would tire out if I talked for too long. Eventually that faded into the apparent remission of late 2020-2024. And now, thanks to back to back to back immune responses and multiple exacerbating circumstances (medications, and believe it or not, menstrual periods), everything came roaring back magnified and the symptoms are my entire body pretty much.

I got three good years of symptom remission. But I wish they diagnosed whatever this is back in 2020 so 2024 could have been prevented. And yes, stress can cause the illness I am pretty sure this is and I was severely stressed in 2020.

There is really only one autoimmune disease this probably is going to end up being and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But at least it's an answer and I can start actually treating what has CLEARLY been dormant all this time.

Just sucks that I've spent 9 months out of the last four years traumatized, unsure what is wrong but knowing something us wrong and unable to do a thing about it. Because until they diagnose it, I'm basically beholden to however my body is feeling. And for the last 3 months or so, a good day means I can eat just enough to hold my weight loss to a pound a week, and I can hold my neck up when sitting up or walking around without coughing, and I can watch TV and look at screens without my vision blurring and my eyelids drooping.

This is a personal vent because I actually can't talk long enough to talk to a therapist at the moment or really anyone, so I have to write. And this is the safest place for me to write atm..

I just want to play video games and eat food without choking concerns and feel like a human again. Maybe go for walks idk

I am not naming what this may be yet because it may not be that. Maybe this IS just my immune system freaking out and it will just clear or just needs some immunosuppresants to get controlled. But hey, even if this IS what it sounds like, it's not fatal. It's just brutal, lifelong with some chance of remission and decent chance of minimal symptoms, and it means I likely have to live a very simple, slow moving and exercise minimized life. Which is NOT who I have ever been at all. But it may have to be.

[bantinglikewilliam]

Update!

My weight is 199 (finally).

I'm not sure what exactly messed me up, whether it was a drug interaction or occasional drinking (I stopped following the Banting diet and only drank a few drinks since my last post) but something threw my hormones out of whack. I since detoxed from basically all medication except when absolutely necessary, stopped all alcohol, and had to supplement like crazy with potassium and magnesium. I didn't check every day but I had a test for ketones in my urine and none were found after IF and low carb when they should have been there, and I stayed at 202/203 for way too long, I think because I was holding water and possibly not going into ketosis. Finally today, the day I was scheduled to weigh myself, I lost a few pounds, and that was after eating throughout the day and having sushi and a sweet bun yesterday. If my body hadn't been out of whack, I theoretically should have lost significantly more weight a lot sooner based on what and when I was eating. It has been an extremely frustrating experience and a really long and stressful week or two full of mostly good things, but also a lot of big changes and decisions.

After what happened to me, I have no appetite for drinking right now. Alcohol can concentrate drugs in your system because it can inhibit cytochromes, and that's no joke if, like me, you tend to be sensitive to medication (hypothetically, already have slow cytochromes). Basically, imagine drugs are forms that need processing and my cytochromes are overburdened bureaucrats, already slow. Now imagine giving those bureaucrats a lot of wine, they get even slower, and the forms build up and don't have anywhere to go. I don't know if that's a good metaphor, but the freaky side effects I experienced that can't be explained by drinking on top of medication because the medication should have been out of my system give me pause when a friend casually asks if I want a glass of wine with my meal. And anything that stops me from losing weight, that is a huge red flag that screams "Doing This Is Bad For My Body!"

I tried a serotonin antagonist and it turns out one of the antihistamines I was taking for insomnia was also a serotonin antagonist (which also has an extremely long half life), and taking them together was bad which I didn't realize for awhile, but taking them hours apart from drinking or other medications was also bad, for me at least. I think I'm very sensitive to changes in serotonin in regards to my adrenal system, and if I'm right it meant too much of certain hormones were released (angiotensin, which leads to increased aldosterone) that raised my blood pressure, lowered my ability to make insulin, and told my body to get rid of potassium. I never would have dreamed taking lower than prescribed doses seemingly far apart could lead to a bunch of weird stuff happening in my body, but it seems to finally be over now and I am so grateful. It makes me concerned about what the insomnia medication has been doing to me since I have been taking it to help with sleep and panic attacks as needed for years. It's made me concerned what all medications I've taken have been doing to me. Not, like, in a nefarious way, just, literally what has it been doing, and how concerned should I be? For example, my rate of panic attacks went way up over the past two weeks. In the past certain anxiety medications has made me more anxious, could other medications be doing that too?

As someone who has experienced rare yet severe side effects in the past that disrupted my quality of life, it is very frustrating when doctors just shrug and say that's just something that happens when you take a drug or discount when you say you think something is wrong because a drug is safe, or people usually don't have the side effect you're having, so it can't be that drug's fault. As a layperson who knows their body and can tell something is wrong but who also doesn't have tests to prove it, especially when it something like migraines or panic attacks or inability to lose weight that can't be tested for objectively, the medical system can make you feel even worse and like you don't know what you're talking about. And also it seems like if you're not like, dying, you're fine. Oh, your blood pressure is thirty points higher than it normally is? Meh. You fasting blood sugar went from the 80's like it has been for years into the prediabetic range although you're eating keto and fasting? Why are you worried? Are you sure you're really trying to lose weight, people don't have a problem with this medication. Sheesh! It can really be invalidating.

And yet low and behold, when I stop the medication, and my side effects go away, then yeah, now they believe me. Usually. Otherwise I guess they assume I'm just a neurotic schlub eating sugar and carbs all day and just expect me to have deteriorating or suboptimal health like high blood pressure and high blood sugar like the rest of the StandardAmericanDiet-sacks. Again, sheesh! The medical profession needs to wake up and start caring about side effects and WHY they happen, and what they mean systemically, because drugs that do things like making you sleepy or hungry don't happen in a vacuum or by magic. They happen because of hormones and neurotransmitters and catecholamines and choline, and it's a very complicated and intertwined system, but that doesn't excuse ignorance of mechanisms when the information is out there or lack of symptom management to maintain homeostasis. And doctors need to stop being ok with people being a little metabolically sick and just being happy they're not really really sick.

And, on a related tangent, people need to stop saying there are no predictors for prediabetes. There are, and they're not even that complex or expensive or controversial, from what I understand, I can't say from experience because I've asked about them but no one has actually ever done these tests for me.

Measuring visceral fat by ultrasound, uric acid levels with a blood test (I think they may made monitors for this similar to blood glucose monitors), and oral glucose tolerance tests for checking for insulin resistance, all of which should be routine as part of physicals. Fasting insulin tells you nothing about the actual function of your pancreas after you eat a cookie, just if it's really really dysfunctional without any food coming in, which is very bad news for your metabolic health. Oral glucose tolerance tests show in real time if your pancreas is overreacting and releasing insulin after you eat sugar, not if it's overreacting by releasing too much insulin all of the time. This is a distinct difference and really valuable information, but it's slightly more complicated and time consuming, so they just don't do it. Give me a break! I wish I could start a nonprofit and focus on just those three screening tests, I bet it could really help people catch things before they get really sick (idea copyright BantingLikeWilliam 2023 lol).

And don't get me started on the overwhelming attitude of doom and gloom if you would have visceral fat, elevated uric acid, or insulin resistance. You're doomed? No. You can reverse nonalcoholic fatty liver in DAYS just by giving up sugar, alcohol, and doing intermittent fasting (may take a few extra days if you don't fast). Notice I didn't say you have to give up carbs. Sugar (fructose) and alcohol stress your liver out in nearly identical ways because if how they are processed. This is not pseudoscience, yet NAFLD is considered by many medical professionals to be a progressive disease, not one you can reverse. And the earlier you catch it, the easier it is to reverse. Same with fatty tongue with sleep apnea. Liver and tongue fat are two of the first to be liquidated when you stop overwhelming your body with sugar (and alcohol, but most people just need to cut out sugar). It takes longer to shrink visceral fat and reverse insulin resistance and get your hormones to normalize, but it has been done over and over so many times in the same way that it feels like willful blindness and pessimism when the Mayo Clinic still talks about PCOS and fatty liver and diabetes like they're life sentences. You don't have to live with any of them, and the way you avoid them or turn them around is by changing what you eat. I try to help my friends who have these health problems and they tell me they don't like eating too much meat or that the keto diet requires processed foods and keep going to this specialist or that specialist and as long as the medical establishment keeps saying we are destined to get fat and decline in health as we age, I'm going to keep sounding like a nutcase telling people to eat more meat and that it's ok to give your organs a break from eating to be healthy. Virta Health, Low Carb Down Under, and all the other reputable low carb researchers, I hope you can help make this type of thinking more widely accepted before my friends have trouble conceiving, have trouble with their eyesight due to metabolic issues, or have to have limbs amputated, all which has happened to people I know.

People like to look to prescription drugs as miracle drugs or quick fixes, but they're often not, and what is a miracle and quick fix is keto. Not for all issues, of course, but for overall health and to balance hormones. Write me off as a nut if you want, but like my bae Mulder would say, the truth is out there. Except it's not classified, just google it and check your sources. I'm not making any claims that haven't been backed up by studies and actual doctors who see the conditions reversed in their practices.

I wish that more attention would be paid to side effects of drugs, but if doctors etc keep expecting people to have bad side effects or be ok with them being sort of metabolically sick, how can that ever happen? Who will advocate for people having horrible side effects from drugs that well meaning doctors prescribe? I genuinely don't know. Hopefully someday soon the mechanisms by which drugs work will be better elucidated and unified and psychiatry/other specialities and general medicine will work together in a holistic way that considers the patient's whole body. Until then, it doesn't hurt to know your body at baseline and keep track of side effects when trying a new medication, whether it is prescribed, over the counter, or even a supplement. Even food. Chips make you swell up? That's good to know, you may need more potassium if you're gonna eat chips. A drug makes you hungry? That's a metabolic red flag. At the end of the day, when you know what is normal for your body, you can better advocate for yourself and if you do need to take a drug, you have a better chance of finding one that will work with your body.

Rant over. This experiment is on hold. I'm aiming for keto.