#i have amvs in my head pity i can't draw

[sylphidine]

[Fic] Call Signs, Chapter 35

Fandom: Deltarune

‘Verse: Human AU

Pairings: Swatch/Spamton [Swatchton]; Spamton/T.M. [SpamManager or Tasqueton, not quite sure of the ship name]

Characters: Terese Marlena Tinker [previously T.M. Tanner], Catechu Dyer, Indigo Dyer, Spamton Addison, Swatch Paletta, Julius Dyer, Desiree Dyer, Kirov Rouvin

Rating: Mature

Chapter title: Bootstrapped Leitmotif

Chapter summary: Spring is newly sprung. Our cast of characters has some adjustments to make, some minor, some major.

Author notes: Wow, two chapters in a single week?

Happy International Fanworks Day.

No trigger warnings, but content warnings for present alcohol use and past dubious consent.

_________

T.M. had wasted no time in changing desire into action. After getting her mother to hand over all the official originals of the documents T.M. would need, she sent a notarized letter to Mrs. Tanner stating her request for a cessation of all unsolicited contact.

[T.M. had wanted to send the letter to the attention of "the future Mrs. Horseface Fucker", but Swatch and Spamton between them had talked her out of it.]

Letter sent, T.M. started the process of getting her name legally changed to Terese Marlena Tinker.

Washing dishes side by side with Catechu in Spamton's and Swatch's kitchen a few days later, she ticked off verbal bullet points to explain her thinking. “This is New York, the home of red tape. It’s gonna take months, no matter what the site says about six to eight weeks.  It’s probably better for me to get this nailed down before my job starts in July. Easier for HR, easier for any place where I end up signing a lease."

Indigo looked up from where he was finishing icing the brownies he'd made. "You're still going to be able to use TMT for your initials. That's smart. Keep your brand, kind of." 

"That's the idea."

Catto finished drying a plate and slotted it into the dish drain. Paying no attention to T.M.'s wet hands or the running water, he picked her up and twirled her around. "You're still my big sis, no matter what your name is. You can smack my head if I slip up and call you Tabsy."

"Same here. And chances are I'll mess up more than that galoot," added Indo, pointing at his twin. "He's had practice, at least."

"Oh? Do tell." Back on her feet now, T.M. abandoned the sink and moved to sit at the table, eyeing the brownies hungrily.

"Yeah, well, it's like this." Catechu rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepish. "Kendra's got a brother who used to be her sister, and now he's Emmett instead of Emily, and I don't always remember, so it's just easier for me to say 'Em' when I talk about her. Him, I mean."

This seemed to unlock some kind of heartfelt logjam, because Catto then burst out with, "I never had trouble when Swatch started wanting to be 'they'. So why is it so hard for me to hear you changing your name?"

Indigo looked at T.M., and she looked back at him. She got up and patted Catechu’s arm.

The big man was shaking. "Everything's changing, and I hate it."

The only thing T.M. could think of saying, "You both can still call me Tabsy."

Catto turned away and picked up another dish to dry that didn’t need to be dried. He said gruffly, “What the hell is taking Swatch and Spamton so long? There can’t be that many different kinds of cough drops at Pathmark.”

T.M. wisely did not point out that Swatch and Spamton had been gone less than ten minutes.

______

The two of them passed the registered letter back and forth.

ADDISON CYBERNETICS

1997 CIRCUIT DRIVE, SUITE 356

WHITE PLAINS, NY 10610

March 17, 2022

Dear Mx. Paletta:

Congratulations! I’m thrilled to extend an offer for our mask design internship in our Integrated Circuit Layout department at Addison Cybernetics.  

Your start date will be Monday, June 6, 2022. On your first day, you will report directly to Sam Chua. Your internship will take place between the hours of 9am and 4:30pm, with a cap at 48 hours per week should additional projects require it. 

We’re pleased to offer you a salary of $82.300 for the year’s internship, to be broken into weekly payments of $1582.69.  

At Addison Cybernetics, we pride ourselves on creating informative and rewarding experiences for our interns. That’s why you can look forward to receiving 1:1 mentorship, learning and development opportunities, and access to company privileges  

To accept this offer, please sign and return this letter by March 31, 2022. In the meantime, feel free to reach out with any questions. We look forward to welcoming you to the team.

Sincerely, 

Anne Demetriou

Human Resources, Addison Cybernetics

AD/glb

“I can’t believe how fast they made up their minds.  I only interviewed a week ago.”

“It’s to the c-c-company’s benefit not to - not to waste time.”

“I don’t know whether to kiss this letter or to frame it.”

“The f-f-first thing you need to do with that letter is sign all three copies and date - date them, s-s-send two of’em back, and THEN you c-can kiss the last one and put it under - our pillow.”

“Good thinking.”

“B-b-but you do know they’re lowballing you, right?”

“How so?”

“They’re g-g-going to make you do a full engineer’s work for the absolute minimum they can - they can g-get away with.”

“I don’t care. It’s a foot in the door. Besides, most of the engineering internships I looked at last year before Fairlight got sick paid less than half that.” “Shit. I t-take it back. You’re gonna be a k-king, king.”

“Thank you.”

Spamton pulled Swatch down on top of him with surprising strength and kissed them fiercely. “So, so proud of you,” he murmured into Swatch’s hair. 

_________

"Hello, fellow dreamers, this is DJ Dreamweaver. Before we all cross tonight's highways of fantasy together, so I can help you forget today's pain, I've got two announcements to make.

“First, and on the trivial side, due to seasonal shift changes here at WRCI, I’m pleased to announce that the DJ Dreamweaver show will be moving next week, starting on the 29th, to the Tuesday evening 8pm to 10pm slot. DJ Zonker will be burning the midnight oil with you on Wednesdays in my place to help you survive the midweek blues.

"Second, and much more importantly, don't forget that WRCI, the Nifty 850, the station that rocks a whole square block, will have a booth at the Seeds of Peace Festival in Garlic Park next month on Saturday, April 8th, rain or shine. The Seeds of Peace Festival is a fundraiser for relief efforts in Ukraine. Eight DJs from WRCI, including yours truly, will be spinning tunes from 8am until midnight for a sixteen-hour dance marathon to raise money for Ukraine. Sign up sheets and pledge forms are available to download from our website, or else pick up your hard copy from DJ Kaard in his office at the Student Union during station hours.

“Now it’s time to open the show with the late and much-missed Tom Petty, backed by his Heartbreakers and Jeff Lynne, performing ‘Learning To Fly’.”

_________

The vibrant, art-filled walls of SpaHa Soul never failed to send a shiver of happiness down Swatch’s spine. The Friday night after they got their offer letter, they followed Uncle Julius to a corner glass-topped table, while Indigo pulled out a chair for Aunt Desiree. Catechu chatted with the guitarist setting up for the evening’s set and waved at Artist T., just emerging from the kitchen with plates for the group of diners in the opposite corner.

Uncle Julius had found this place about eight years ago and it had become THE go-to place for Dyer-Paletta family celebrations.   

And tonight they were here to celebrate Indo and Catto’s getting summer internships at the Wythe in Williamsburg, as well as Swatch’s internship.

“Chef’s choice tonight, sir,” Uncle Julius said to Artist T., after getting a hearty backslap from the proprietor. “All three of these fine young people, going out into the world and making their mark!”

“It’s a better world for you all being in it,” agreed Artist T., making a note on his pad and heading back through the swinging doors.

“I like the new glasses, honey,” Aunt Desiree commented to Swatch. “You look good in aviators, and brown is a nice color for you.”

Swatch nodded.”The tint’s helpful for cutting out blue light, and since I expect I’m going to be spending a lot more time in front of screens with the new job, I figured they were worth a splurge.”

On the other side of the table, Indo was listing off all the different areas in the boutique hotel where he and his twin would be working during their ten weeks. “I don’t know how I’m going to keep a straight face when I’m answering phones and directing calls to ‘Le Crocodile’. It’ll probably get easier after a while. At least ‘Bar Blondeau’ sounds more normal. Only thing I’m worried about is getting there on time every day.”

“Better than the commute would have been if we’d gotten the gig at The Ludlow. That commute would have been a real bitch.” Catto caught his mother’s glare and muttered, “Sorry, mom.  It would have been a real bear .”

Uncle Julius laughed and then turned to Swatch. “You’re going to be cutting it awfully fine, between graduation and starting this new job. You’d better start looking at apartments now if you don’t think your landlady will extend your lease past June.”

“I know. Even with a decent salary, I’m either going to have to spend all my time commuting or all my money on a shoebox to live in.” They realized that it sounded like they were complaining, and quickly added with a laugh in their voice, “Or I could ask my favorite aunt to use her real estate agent superpowers and her mad networking skills.”

“That’s the spirit,” Aunt Desiree answered. “We’re not going to leave you out in the cold, even if you have to stay with us for a month or so while you’re getting your feet under you. You’ve got family, don’t forget.

Swatch smiled back at her. “I will never forget that.”

“And don’t forget we’re proud of you. All three of you,” Uncle Julius interjected, waving his hand to include his sons. “Not a bad apple in the bunch.”

“Thanks, Pop,” Indo replied for himself and for his brother. “Especially thanks for being such a good sport about us not working at Ambit Automation.” “Oh, you boys might still end up there if the economy tanks. Luxury disappears, but people always need manufacturing. Look at the Brooklyn Navy Yards. That’s as big a comeback as the Jazz beating the Nuggets.”

“But the boys are using their degrees,” Aunt Desiree pointed out. “Degrees that you and I both approved of, husband mine.”

“Yes, dear.”

At that moment Artist T. and Amber swooped in with platters of fried chicken, stuffed pork chops, coconut rice, spicy yams, and collard greens, enough to feed an army.

Catechu raised his glass. “To family.”

Four glasses clinked against his.

________

“Tell me more about these buff birdmen in corsets,” T.M. teased.

Spamton chuckled in embarrassed remembrance. “They weren’t  actually b-b-birds. They wore bird masks. Like - like beaks. Sexier than plague d-d-doctors.”

“So you turned your living room into an adults-only butler cafe for your twentieth birthday party.”

“I’m not - not pr-proud of who I was then. I didn’t - didn’t br-break the ‘no touch’ rule, but I did - I did ogle a lot.”

“You weren’t a complete sleaze, I guess.”

“Thank you, Trez.”

The first time Spamton had fumbled his words while trying out T.M. 's new name, “Terese” had come out of his mouth as “Trez”. To his relief and delight, she had happily adopted it as a nickname.

She was curled up in the basket chair in the upstairs room that Swatch had named “Spamton’s eyrie”. He was sitting on the floor and had his head in her lap while she played with his hair. Spamton had taken the advice of his current therapist and was now giving T.M. some of the edited “highlights” of his checkered past.

HEAVILY edited. 

“I c-could do the flexing thing, if you wanted. But I don’t think it would b-be quite as impressive as those g-guys.” He got to his knees and raised his face to meet her kiss.

They hadn’t moved beyond kissing yet, and T.M. seemed perfectly happy with that. She told him how much she enjoyed how carefully he kissed her. “Some guys think they have to be rough because I’ve got piercings, like it’s a challenge.”

Spamton was fairly sure that she knew he was careful only because he didn’t have a lot of experience kissing people with piercings, but she was too courteous to say so.  The snakebite bothered him less and less the more often they kissed, since her daily jewelry consisted of the tiniest of studs. 

The sound of the front door downstairs opening and shutting made them both smile. “Up here!” Spamton called out, sitting back down on the rug.

Swatch called back, “Are you decent?” as they climbed the stairs.

“Yes, and we’re even dressed!” T.M. trilled. This exchange had become the three’s shared joke.

“How was - how was d-d-dinner?”

“Fabulous. Real, honest-to-God soul food, in more ways than one.” Swatch took Spamton’s desk chair and turned to sit backwards on it. “My aunt and uncle send their love.”

“I gotta go down to Queens soon and just have a girly day with Desiree. It’s long overdue.” “Mmmm-hmmm. And maybe you can pick her brain about apartment-hunting. As Uncle Julius reminded me, graduation’s just around the corner.”

“Yeah.”

Spamton changed the subject to stave off the panic he felt at the idea of these two leaving him just when he'd found them. “N-now that all three - all three of us are here, c-can I ask both for a - a favor?”

“Of course.”

“Yeah, of course. Ask away, Short Stuff.”

“C-can you both sit in with me in the stu-stu-studio for the first leg of my radio show next week? I’m going to try something d-d-d-different and I kind of - kind of need both of you there.”

T.M. looked across at Swatch and nodded. Swatch got up and pulled Spamton to his feet and into a hug. With a suspicious raspiness in their voice, they said, “We’ll be there.”

_________

“I printed two copies, just in case you didn’t get a chance to.”

“Thank you, schwitthott.” T.M. took one of the sheets from Swatch and started reading. 

The two of them stood in the hallway of the student union, just outside the doors of WRCI’s main studio, waiting for Spamton. The dinnertime DJ was playing J-pop.

“He said this was your idea?” Swatch asked.

“Kind of. I mentioned I have a set of ‘go to hell’ playlists that I rotate through to cope with stuff. This timeline stuff though, that’s all 100% our lad’s doing.” T.M. smiled fondly.

“Our lad.  I like that. Not ‘lad’ like he’s our kid. but like we’re all lads together.”

“Uh huh.”

Swatch leaned against the wall and sighed. “So you know that he was homeless for a while, after… well, after everything.”

She nodded. “It explains a lot about his food issues. As horrible as it might sound, I’m really, really happy that it wasn’t what I first thought.”

“Oh?”

“I thought Spamton had the same thing going on that I did with my dad. At least the whole power-trippy withholding food thing so I had to hoard stuff. Trust me, I would have put at least one of his siblings through a wall if that’s what had happened.”

“Remind me never to wander down a dark alley with you when you’re pissed off with me, Moggy.” 

Swatch straightened up when they saw Spamton walking down the hallway towards the other two. 

T.M. murmured, “It’s showtime.” 

When he reached them, Spamton stretched up and gave each a kiss on the cheek. “Let’s - let’s do this thing.”

______

“Welcome to the premiere of the Tuesday night version of the DJ Dreamweaver show. Normally I give a little bit of background on what I’ve chosen for the night’s selections. This time around, I’m going to let the music do the talking. Thanks for listening.”

T.M. sat beside Spamton on one side of the booth, headphones on, ready to help him with the potentiometers for segues and fade-ins. Swatch sat on the opposite side, just there to listen and to give moral support. Spamton had mentioned that the playlist was less than an hour long, so Swatch would have plenty of time to leave before the extra Tuesday night shift they’d picked up at Plato’s.

They picked up the printed sheet of paper and started to read along with the lyrics Spamton had typed out, as well as Spamton’s notes as to why he’d put particular songs in his “timeline”. 

THE LOGICAL SONG - SUPERTRAMP

[ Self-explanatory, the little kid I was, and my boarding school days ]

When I was young

It seemed that life was so wonderful

A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical

And all the birds in the trees

Well they'd be singing so happily

Oh joyfully, oh playfully watching me

But then they sent me away

To teach me how to be sensible

Logical, oh responsible, practical

And then they showed me a world

Where I could be so dependable

Oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical

There are times

When all the world's asleep

The questions run too deep

For such a simple man

Won't you please

Please tell me what we've learned

I know it sounds absurd

Please tell me who I am

NUMB - MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

[That’s when it started to hit me that I had a lot to live up to, being a part of the Addison family. Perfect set-up for Mike to step in]

One track mind like a goldfish

Stuck inside my Petri dish

I can't breathe and I can't smile

This better be worth my while

I feel numb most of the time

The lower I get the higher I'll climb

And I will wonder why

I got dark only to shine

Looking for the golden light

Oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice

Burn, burn, burn bright

Forego families, forego friends

It's how it started, how it ends

I can't open up and cry

'Cause I've been silent all my life

JUST LIKE YOU - THREE DAYS GRACE

[ all the accusations I threw back at my brothers and sister before breaking with them ]

I could be mean

I could be angry

You know I could be just like you

I could be fake

I could be stupid

You know I could be just like you

You thought you were standing beside me

You were only in my way

You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

You thought you were there to guide me

You were only in my way

You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

I could be cold

I could be ruthless

You know I could be just like you

I could be weak

I could be senseless

You know I could be just like you

On my own, cause I can't take living with you

I'm alone, so I won't turn out like you

Want me to

You thought you were standing beside me

You were only in my way

You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

You thought you were there to guide me

You were only in my way

You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

THE SANITY ASSASSIN - BAUHAUS

[Mike and all his lies. Hindsight’s 20/20, huh?]

Sinister echoes clutching at straws

Letter boxes screaming

You try to pin him to the wall

You end up on the ceiling

Locked in a dome

The shadows flicker by

He's the madcap pusher

Delirium the drug he's dealing

You empty yourself once again

But he's always one step ahead

He whispers in your ear

was it nothing that you said

He's walking in your sleep now

He keeps your fat paranoia well-fed

The sanity assassin

Stays up all night stalking

The sanity assassin

Picks off victims like flies

The sanity assassin

Let his fingers do the walking

He drops a capsule in your drink

And spikes your dreams with madness

I GOT YOU - SPLIT ENZ

[Deluding myself that Mike actually gave a damn about me]

I got you - and that's all I want

I won't forget - that's a whole lot

I don't go out - not now that you're in

Sometimes we shout - but that's no problem

Look at you - you're a pageant

You're everything - that I've imagined

Something's wrong - I feel uneasy

Reassure me - tell me you're not teasing

There's no doubt - not when I'm with you

When I'm without - I stay in my room

Where do you go - I get no answer

You're always out - it gets on my nerves

I don't know why sometimes I get frightened

You can see my eyes, you can tell that I'm not lying

But I don't know why sometimes I get frightened

You can see my eyes, can you tell me you're not lyin'

WHAT DO ALL THE PEOPLE KNOW? - THE MONROES

[The year of the trade show circuit]

You know I told you once tonight

That you could always speak your mind

You work so hard to say what's right

I watch you do it all the time

And when I called you on the phone

You said that I could be the one

But here I'm standing all alone

And you're out lying in the sun

Tell me, am I getting in too deep?

Every night I'm talking in my sleep

Lately I’ve been so confused

I really don't know what to do

Could you be the one I'm thinking of?

Could you be the one I really love?

All the people tell me so

But what do all the people know?

Maybe we're just holding on

To something that'll soon be gone

Do you think I'm blind to what you do?

Do you think I really care for you?

Do you think that we both should let it show?

Do you think that we both should let it go?

Or is it just another game that you and I pretend to play?

All the people tell me so

But what do all the people know?

UNKNOWN SOLDIER - BREAKING BENJAMIN

[Being lost in my own mind at the Pandora Palace for however long that was after the trade show circuit ended. I’m never going to get that time back.]

Border line,

Dead inside.

I don't mind,

Falling to pieces.

Count me in, violent

Let's begin, feeding the sickness.

How do I simplify,

Dislocate - the enemy's on the way.

Full of fear,

Ever clear.

I'll be here,

Fighting forever.

Curious,

Venomous,

You'll find me

Climbing to heaven.

Never mind,

Turn back time.

You'll be fine - I will get left behind.

It only hurts just once.

They're only broken bones.

Hide the hate inside.

Show me what it's like

To dream in black and white,

So I can leave this world tonight.

RUSTED FROM THE RAIN - BILLY TALENT

[life on the streets after he threw me away]

You hung me like a picture/Now I'm just a frame

I used to be your lapdog/Now I'm just a stray

Shackled in the graveyard/Left here to decay

DEATH ON TWO LEGS - QUEEN

[Finally starting to blame Mike rather than myself, during that second homeless winter just before Ballew found me]

You suck my blood like a leech

You break the law and you breach

Screw my brain 'til it hurts

You've taken all my money

And you want more

Misguided old mule with your pigheaded rules

With your narrow minded cronies

Who are fools of the first division

Talk like a big business tycoon

You're just a hot air balloon

So no one gives you a damn

You're just an overgrown schoolboy

Let me tan your hide

A dog with disease

You're the king of the sleaze

Put your money where your mouth is, Mister Know-All

Was the fin on your back

Part of the deal? (Shark)

Death on two legs

Tearing me apart

Death on two legs

You never had a heart (you never did)

Of your own (right from the start)

Insane, should be put inside

You're a sewer rat decaying in a cesspool of pride

Should be made unemployed

Then make yourself null and void

Make me feel good (I feel good)

[The first therapist I saw on Dr. George’s advice told me to start writing letters to my old Big Shot self as though they were a separate person, so that’s the last three songs. Maybe I’ll get closure, some day.]

PAID IN FULL - SONATA ARCTICA

It's hard for me to love myself right now,

I've waited, hated, blamed it all on you...

It's hard for me to love your face right now

I'm waiting, hating, needing being

Me...

I need you...less and less...

Every day leads us farther away...

From that moment

It’s hard for me to hate myself right now

Finally I'm understanding me

SUNSHINE - BARENAKED LADIES

Most of us, have learned to trust

What we see with our own eyes

But with blinders on you hardly realize

That out of view, it's still true

Even when no one's around

We can stumble and fall down

It's just as well, It's hard to tell

Cause my hindsight's crystal clear

But the view from then's not like the view from here

If you are passed through a looking glass

The important parts appear

But the details start to smear

I ran fast, but I came last

'Cause although I set the pace

It was rigged from the start that I'd lose this race

Sunshine burns your skin

Sometimes the things we love so much just eat us up from the outside in

Oceans blue will drown

I could find a way to live with your ghost but I won't be happy till I leave this town.

GOODBYE TO YOU - SCANDAL

Those times I waited for you seem so long ago

I wanted you far too much to ever let you go

You know you never got by your fear to choose

And I guess I never could stand to lose

It's such a pity to say

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to you

How could I have loved someone like the one I see in you

I remember the good times baby now, and the bad times too

These last few weeks of holding on

The days are dull, the nights are long

Guess it's better to say

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to you

'Cause baby it's over now

No need to talk about it

It's not the same

My love for you's just not the same

And my heart, and my heart

And my heart can't stand the strain

And my love, and my love

And my love won't stand the pain

Goodbye baby

So long darling

Goodbye to you

Spamton nodded at T.M. about halfway through Patti Smith’s final chorus, letting her know that he was getting ready for his talkback. She nodded back and cued up “Solsbury Hill” and “Scarecrow’s Dream” for him, as well as digging up an advertisement for Janovic Express to play at the quarter of the hour.

Swatch dug out the painted signboard they’d made and held it up wordlessly so that Spamton could see it.

You Are Loved. And You Are Stronger Than You Know. Never Forget That.

Spamton blew Swatch a silent kiss in return. 

Swatch left a few minutes later to go do their shift. T.M. stayed another half-hour and then slipped Spamton a note telling him to meet her down at Plato’s Cave.

There were plenty of spots open at the bar, but the one in the dead center of the ten or so stools was taken up by a reddish-haired stranger who looked like Sid the Sloth from ICE AGE. And he was following Swatch’s every move with his bugged-out eyes.

T.M. thought of Spamton’s bird-masked buff butlers in corsets and giggled to herself, picturing Swatch in that kind of outfit. This had to be that freshman who Swatch said was a fixture on Wednesday nights. How the kid had figured out that her bestie was on duty tonight, she didn’t have a clue, but she got the devilish urge to mess with the guy’s mind a little.

She sat herself down at the farthest end of the bar and put her purse on the seat beside her to reserve it. When Swatch came over to take her order, she whispered, “When Spamton gets here, give him the old ‘your usual, sir?’ routine. And then follow my lead.”

Swatch caught on swiftly and gave her a wink while asking in their clearly audible customer service voice, “May I suggest a Blue Moon for the young lady?”

“Oooooh, that sounds yummy,” T.M. squealed in her best imitation of some of the airheads she had loathed in high school.

“Very good. I’m certain you won’t be disappointed.”  Swatch moved away to get her a bottle and a glass.

Blue Moon was a fruitier beer than she usually drank, but it had the benefit of being known for putting lightweights under the table.

T.M. was no lightweight, but she was a fantastic actress.

The things we do for love , she thought to herself.

________

Spamton hit the switch for the cold open after his final talkback, unhooked the vocoder, hung up his headphones, and queued up the next few selections for segue for the DJ who would be following him. 

It seemed to him that time was moving both at a snail's pace and in the blink of an eye. The past few weeks had established a new status quo in his life and had brought about changes that were cementing the groundwork of his partners' lives.

Partners, plural.

He still had to grin and hug himself at the thought of having partners. Equal partners. No bloody power imbalance. No secrets. No head games. No possessiveness. No jealousy.

The new love didn't outshine the old. He didn't love Swatch any less now that he had Trez to love as well.

His heart sank, though, as he crossed the floor of Plato’s Cave and saw Kirov Rouvin seated at the bar. He was obviously trying to engage Swatch in flirtatious banter while Swatch was trying to juggle drinks and food orders for several other customers.

Including bringing another bottle of beer to one very familiar girl with golden contact lenses and blue tips at the ends of her hair. They put it down in front of her and said in an unnecessarily loud voice, “I’m afraid I will need to cut you off after this one, miss.”

Was T.M. drunk?  He hurried over to the seat beside her and looked anxiously into her face.

She tittered at Swatch’s comment, and then turned to face Spamton, her eyes stone cold sober while she grinned inanely.

Ah.

Not sure what’s going on here, but I’ll play my part.

He pulled himself up onto the barstool, pretending to ignore T.M. and waiting for Swatch to approach him, in the meantime keeping an eye on Kirov.  The young Chechen had yet to see Spamton, since Kirov’s eyes were fixed on Swatch.

Swatch finally finished with their flurry of transactions and came over to Spamton.  “The usual, my good man?” they asked him, the mellifluousness in their voice turned up to eleven.

Feeling like a celluloid hero, he replied, “Yes, indeed!”

And Swatch leaned over the bar and kissed Spamton on the forehead.

Applause broke out from the tables behind him and seemed to rouse T.M. from her state of faux -inebriation. “Hey, I wan’ some of that,” she slurred, standing up.

Kirov’s face was red and his eyes were narrowed into angry slits. Spamton sighed to himself and thought, might as well go for broke.

“It’s constitutionally impossible for me to refuse a lady.” He extended a hand to T.M. in the time-honored fashion of asking someone to dance, and she placed her hand.in his, not forgetting to loop her purse over her wrist. Clasping her around the waist, he began to circle her around the floor while crooning the song that came to mind when he saw the empty bottle on the bar.

Blue moon

You saw me standing alone

Without a dream in my heart

Without a love of my own

Blue moon

You knew just what I was there for

You heard me saying a prayer for

Someone I really could care for

The impromptu waltz had them near enough to the doors to make a dramatic exit. Spamton called over T.M.’s shoulder to Swatch, “I’m going make sure this dolly gets home in one piece. See you there, sweetie?”

“Sure thing, darling," Swatch replied.

The wolf whistles and catcalls were cut off as the heavy oaken doors closed behind them.

Once outside, T.M. immediately shed her drunken lolling posture. “God, that was fun. And hopefully that stops any more workplace harassment for Swatch.”

“You are br-brilliant as well as b-b-b-beautiful.”

Now that he no longer had to channel both Cary Grant and Fred Astaire at the same time, Spamton was feeling the adrenaline that had sustained him all night starting to drain away.  It was good to see with his own eyes that Swatch hadn’t been exaggerating Kirov’s increasing creepiness, and T.M.’s little maneuver was better than anything he could have come up with.

T.M. noticed the change in his mood and asked, “Are you going to be able to relax after all this?”

He took a minute to think about it so  that he could answer her honestly. “N-not right away, no.”

“Do you trust me?”

He didn’t even have to think for a second. “Yes.”

“Come with me, then. I’ll text Swatchy so that they don’t wait up and worry.”

TO: BIRDMAN

FROM: MOGGY

taking spamton to the invisible castle

FROM: BIRDMAN

TO: MOGGY

See you both in the morning. Be safe.