#i have a penny collection! its pretty heavy and im trying to get one of each year!! I also have pins

[xiaolongpunch]

Rwby’s redemption

I’ve started watching rwby ever since the summer that volume 2 was released. My friends made me watch the four trailers and I was immediately captivated by the breath of fresh air the show promise from its beginning. Four badass girls with unique weapons and abilities? I was already hooked from that point. I binge watch volume after that day, and I immediately got harry potter vibe with the school aspect of the show. I also understood from the get go the the 8 characters we were introduced to in the beginning would be the main cast, that being team RWBY and team JNPR.

This is where my first critique comes in, and it won’t be directed at rooster teeth or miles-kerry or even monty, but rather at the fandom. Volume 1 wasn't shy at showing us who the important characters were, how? The were coloured in and we got to know their names in the first few episodes. The rest was either shadowed in, appeared a couple of times, or simply never be seen again. We knew the main cast was the two teams, and other subsequent characters were more side characters, exemple: Cardin and team CRDL, Velvet, Ozpin, Glynda, Roman, and the other professors and Sun. And one of the major complaints that volume 1 gets is that it was focused on Jaune to much. Statistically speaking, his arc lasted 25% of volume 1, lasting from episode 11 to 14. Other arcs from this volume included Blake’s, Weiss’s conflict with Ruby and probably other minor ones I won’t speak about. Blake’s arc lasted from episode 15 to 16, buut continued into the subsequent volume. Making for 12.5% of the first volume, and about, well the entire volume. Volume 2 was dedicated into busting the white fang and Roman, which directly tied into Blake’s arc from Volume 1, making it the longest arc up to this date since it is still continuing into volume 5. The third arc was the conflict between Ruby and Weiss, although somewhat minor, this arc still lasted for a couple of episodes spread apart from one another. The point being, Jaune’s arc is minor compared to other arcs happening in the show, since his only lasted 4 episodes in volume 1 alone. Sure he had speaking times in other volumes, but none revolved around him, and yet the fandom is still bitching and moaning that jaune is taking too much space. As mentioned before, Jaune IS one of the main 8, not liking him as a character is totally fine, but saying he is taking too much space is somewhat overreacting since he is one of the main characters.

Let’s go on, from V1 came V2, and to this date, it is probably one of my least favourite volumes. I feel like they focused a bit too much on the characters motivation during the mountain glenn arc. What was the point of Oobleck asking everyone why they wanted to be huntresses? It was a bit awkward and I feel like they could've gotten the same result, if not more,  if they made the team sit down around a campfire and make them ask each other their motivation. They would’ve shared some exposition through, shown team rwby bonding, something the fandom has been asking for a while now (Something I will touch later on) aaand they would’ve been able to touch a lot more on Blake’s ongoing arc that way. Btw, this is how critiquing something is done, by talking about what felt wrong and give an example on how they could of improved themselves. I’ve seen way to many people complain and complain and never even explain how they could've improve on what they complained on, and then call what they did ‘critiquing’, but im digressing. Overall, they did what they wanted, expose us to more backstory and motivation, show us a bit more of who the characters are by telling us where they come from. This volume honestly showed me why Ruby is more childish in nature, and it also help set up what they wanted for her next volume. It showed me why Weiss is so cold and distant sometimes, it showed us why Blake acts the way she does..you get the point. It also helped setting up the next volume, which was a real plus.

Next comes V3, and I feel like, like the show, this was where the fandom started to really fall and divide. A reason why people started to become more toxic might have been because of Monty’s death. People started to think that because he died, Miles and Kerry started to ruin the show from his original idea. Especially after a controversial letter came out, you can read it here if you’d like. From that point, it was a shitstorm of fighting, between people who believed shane and people who didn’t. I have read the letter, and personally, I feel like they were some things right and some wrong. Shane seemed to have this idea that Monty was the only one planning the show, but it was with Miles and Kerry, Monty provided the ideas, MK wrote them out. Gray even addressed what the future of RWBY would be, and he mentioned this.

“For those wondering, Monty was heavily involved in shaping the future of the world of Remnant. His story ideas will live on, and you will also be able to see some of the animation he'd begun working on for Volume 3. For some time, the team has known the direction in which the next volumes will be headed, and Rooster Teeth is committed to bringing these tales to you.”

Like I said, you decide if you want to believe shane or not, but I think its clear that Monty planned his show with MK years ahead. And some of the ‘Critiques’ the show got addressed the wrong issues. That volume also sparked the lgbtq representaion controversy, ship wars begun, like I said, a shitshow began. It was also the volume that rwby turned dark and characters died off. And for some reason people got angry at MK for killing them off, because they thought it wasn't Monty’s idea. Except it was, and here is some other complaint. Roman was a major villain, you can't kill him! Actually he was said to be unimportant to the main story plot, and unfortunately I can't find the panel, but I remember that someone in the crwby mentioned that roman was kept alive longer than intended because he was like, but was eventually going to get killed off. Next was Penny’s death, not much complain on that side other then people saying they were sad she died, so nothing to say on that part. But the major character death that got lots of complaint was Pyrrha’s. People had two complaint about, it went too far, and that she was only meant to further Jaune’s character.

To address the first point, I will actually let Gray explain.

“Have we said thanks lately? Thanks again for sharing the story with our youngest audience members out there, it means a lot to us and we take the responsibility to heart. In return, we wanted to take a sec to reiterate some things. We've said from the very beginning that the story of RWBY is actually a pretty long journey, with all sorts of complex changes and themes over time. Because we can only put out so many episodes per year, and the story has been focused the way it has the first couple years, some viewers might assume that this is all there is to the show. Nnnnope. Much like other multi-year narratives such as the Harry Potters, Avatars (the airbending kind. well, the animated, not the live... look, the good one) and Star Wars...Warses... Warii? Forget it -- like other continuity-heavy sagas out there, RWBY will grow up over time. Our characters will be put to the test as the stakes get greater and the full scope of the story is revealed. The tone and imagery of the show will occasionally go darker and more mature. ...You did happen to notice the opening sequence that has been in front of the show all year, right?”

This comes from a blog post surrounding how dark rwby has turned. And I want to emphasize one particular point, because this will counter EVERY complaint on how the show is progressing in terms of change. RWBY was never meant to stay light hearted and happy, it was meant to grow and change, just like many other series out there, and the fact that people complain about it, is in my opinion, kinda ridiculous. When V3 came out, I understood this because it was new, but now? Really? You want change and character development, but complain once the plot thickens and the nature of the show changes? What kind of hypocritical shit is that? I also believe that Monty said that he got inspired by Games of Thrones in some aspect, and that was early on in the show, so death was going to be a thing, I guess the fandom just wants to ignore that though.

The second point is actually a bit more founded. But because of two sides. MK poorly handled team bonding, we barely got any bonding from any teams so we didnt know what they meant to each other other then a few things here and there. And the second side is the fandom’s collective hatred towards Jaune. The fandom complains that Pyrrha’s death was solely to further Jaune’s character, so im guessing they totally ignored her arc in v3 that actually explained why she decided to fight Cinder or why she died, or just simply decided to ignore, knowing the fandom, I wouldn’t be surprised with either reason. The fandom sometimes forgets to piece things together, to read between the lines. It was clear that Pyrrha had an internal conflict about becoming the maiden, and Jaune, being her combat partner, decided he wanted to be there for her, which only fueled the fandom’s belief that this arc was somehow around Jaune. I feel like fandom is honestly just pulling reasons out of their ass to hate on Jaune at this point, yes he did wrong things, but did anyone ever sat down to think that this was actually kinda the most natural portrayal of a teenage boy? Im digressing here, but Pyrrha’s was far more then Jaune, it was a sign, the show basically told us “Hey, things are getting serious, how serious? Welp a main character died trying to accomplish her goal” And her death couldnt of been more brilliant. It was extremely well executed, the symbolism behind it is incredible because it shows that the show isnt a fairy tail, not everything ends happily ever after, and most of all, it furthered Ruby’s character.

A lot of people dont realize that one of the premise of the show was loss of childhood and innocence. Ruby’s character is the very essence of that. And they broke her to pieces in V3, they killed her best friend, and then a close friend. She unlocked her powers and loss her innocence she had for the world. She grew so much as a character it that volume and its sad to see people not looking further then their noses to see how much has been happening in the show to focus on jaune and other minor things like ships.

To go back on Jaune’s portrayal, he is literally a fuckboi in v1/v2 and a bit of v3. Like, thats what his character is, you can hate it, hell I did, but screaming and shouting that his character needs to change because of that is fucking ridiculous, not everyone is meant to be liked, sometimes best portrayals are the ones that actually make you feel something strong about them, and the typical mary sue.

Lets move on, V4 in my opinion was the most poorly handled volume, for many things.They took to long to show how certain character grief and they didnt handle character development extremely well. Nora and Ren’s arc was...short, too short. I felt like they could of really digged into their childhood and their relationship since they grew up together, but they missed out on it. They tanked to show Ruby’s grief, or as the fandom would say, complete lack of. And the plot exposition from Qrow was too fast and really poorly handled in terms of delivery. I feel like they could’ve taken more time to explain some things like magic and the maidens, because the way it was delivered was more like it was speaking to the audience. The filled in gaps on what the audience didn’t know rather then explaining to the character what the hell was going on in their lives.

And I have a major problem with how the fandom ‘critiqued’ this volume. Again, the major complaints were not story, or plot related, they decided to complain on ships and portrayal, which btw is a valid thing if there is an actual problem. For exemple, they non-stopped complained on how Ruby seemingly didnt show any grief, but let me explain to you. People are different, whereas one person might cry their hearts out to someones death, another will feel sad for a bit and move on. We saw Ruby react to Pyrrha’s death, she unlocked her powers because of it. And there is many reason why she might have been shown grieving. Think about how much shit she went through, she saw her school get destroyed, three people she knew died in front of her in one night, she unlocked some weird magical power which she knows nothing about, her sister seems to hate life now, and her friends are mostly gone. Do you seriously think her mind has the time and effort to grief about ONE person dying? No, nobody would in fact, she probably is still in shock of everything that happened. Another reason, which was actually proven in V5, is that she doesn’t grief, she moves on. And they also foreshadowed it a bit, but I will talk about it in the V5 review of this.

The next thing people complained about was black sun, and how ooc blake felt during those moments. Again, I want to remind you that character development is a thing, and traumatic events may several affect someone’s view in life. The reason why Blake seemed ooc is because of her fears becoming a reality. Her friends got hurt because of Adam, she became paranoid, to the point of almost drawing out her sword to the captain when she was confronted. Sun on the other hand didnt experience all of that, and he thought he was doing the right thing by following her because he wanted to help her. And I saw sooooo many people saw he is a predator because she flinches when he touches her, but also completely forgets or ignore she acted the same way when her own mother hugged her. She is scared shitless of everything, this was probably one of the better handled character development in the volume, and the fandom seemingly ignored all of it to let their hatred go through.

The most blatant problem with V4 however was the animation, and I will let the youtuber Cake in his series “Animation analysis”. He really nails the head of what is wrong with the animation, and I highly recommend you watch this small serie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxP3lBW7wm4&list=PL-wKaeXzYOmbnc0cRXxGD0TEY5wgCUipw

I wont speak about Yang, because honestly, this was the one time the fandom is right, her ptsd arc was poorly handled and not well executed at all.

Then came V5, or as I like to call it, Rooster teeth’s redemption arc. This volume, imo, was so heavily touched upon to appease the angry mobs of the rwde tags its honestly kind of funny. Ship wars? Heres more character development surrounding all the characters involved in those ship and their view about each other. Poor character development? Heres ruby actual griefing and explaining how she moved and sooo much more character for the main cast. LGBT representation? Here's the first confirmed lgbt character! They did so many things right and so many things to fix past problems, and yet, the rwde tag is still greedy…

Volume 5 has done a lot of things right, and a lot of those things were things the fandom was asking since the beginning of the show. I believe it was partially RT testing out that if listening to us would actually change anything, and Im afraid the rwde side of this fandom is proving to them that nothing that they will do will change anything, and thats saying something about the rwde tag and the fandom in general.

Lets hit a few things that happened that rt did right. First being, Ruby’s grief. In V4, most of the fandom outcried for Ruby to show how she grieves the death of Pyrrha and Penny, and we got it. And just like I had thought, she moves on. The writers pulled our heart strings by using Monty’s signature quote “Keep moving forward”. This probably wasn't a last minute decision, since we did get a hint of it when Qrow mentioned the same thing to Yang in V3. And we all know how close Ruby is to Qrow, and he probably taught her to move on rather the grief when death hits someone close to you. The fandom, of course, was blind to all of it, and it dishearten me to see that. Because the fandom keeps asking for better writing, and when the are shown that MK can foreshadow things and give hints of two people’s relationship and that the fandom ignores it, it shows that they dont really care, and are probably finding reasons to hate rather then actually seeing their wishes come true.

Yang’s ptsd. V4 poorly handled this, they showed some sign of her illness but it was rushed and it felt unnatural. But rt did try to change this in V5. The random jerks of her hand and arm is a genius idea, it shows that she still suffers from her trauma even though she is trying to be strong for her own sake. This might be hinting at an actual ptsd episode later on when she fights. This is one thing rt did right and are showing they are listening.

First Lgbt character. Spoiler warning, if you havent watched V5EP8 then skip to the next point to not spoil yourself. So in the latest episode, Ilia was revealed to be first lgbt character, she is a lesbian/Bisexual character who is in love with Blake. And not surprisingly, the fandom find reasons to hate this decision rather than rejoice that rt is actually listening to them. This next part is a message straight for anyone who is criticizing ilia as the “villain lesbian” and say its problematic. Do you understand how hypocrite you are? You headcanon characters like Cinder, Salem, and Neo as lgbt, people who are actually show to be pure evil but hate and try to villainize the only villain who’s reason to be villain is due to her past? We have been shown why she chose this path, we have been shown why she sides with Adam at this moment. It hurts her to do so, we could see it when she ordered to kill Blake’s family, we have seen how conflicted she was to have captured Blake for adam, the only character who’s villainy is actual ambiguous and actually is a complex character because of it and you downgrade her to a “Bitter/Jealous murderous lesbian”? FUCK OUTTA HERE, that is completely hypocritical of everything you ever said, she is everything you ever wanted in a character and you still manage to be angry at rt for it?! Do you even hear yourselves sometimes? You wanna complain about something that is lgbt related? How about the lack of it, we have one, they have shown us they are listening so keep on insisting on that representation. You want to complain how the lack of complex character? Criticize MK for the lack of backstory for a lot of the main character, and a lack of personality shown. You want to complain about villains? HOW ABOUT THE ACTUAL BITTER AND MURDEROUS ONE ADAM FUCKING TAURUS. Stop being so blind jfc, there is so many other obvious things wrong about the points you are complaining about and yet you chose to bash Ilia, fucking incredible.

Rwby has a lot of issue, im not denying that, but its time for the fandom to stop complaining about ships and minor problems that have been fixed. Start critiquing instead of complaining and demanding. RT wont listen to you if you only demand things from them, start showing them explicitly what is wrong with the show and offer them solutions in a calm manner. Showing no evidence and not showing solutions is not critiquing on your part, its pure and simple entitlement. My final point is this. We dont own the show, some of us pay for a subscription, but that doesn't make them any more entitled to demand things from rt about their show. You can absolutely critique them for errors, but do it right. Show them what went wrong, explain why its wrong, and show and explain a possible solution. Complaining and whining isnt critiquing, its entitlement of something we dont own. Im probably missing some things I have thought of pointing out in this, and this is highly opinionated in some parts. But I hope my points do make some sense, and I hope anyone who reads this actual give a thought about the points I made. If you disagree with me, by all means, point out what was wrong with what I said and offer your counter-argument, like I said, some of it is facts and some of it is opinions, so let’s debate.

[topicprinter]

Hi all, I recently wrote this post about how Drip screwed over its most loyal customers and I thought perhaps /r/Entrepreneur would get value out of my lessons learned.----If you’re not familiar, Drip is email marketing software that’s pretty heavy on the marketing automation front. I won’t do them the courtesy of a link, so you’ll have to Google them if you want to check it out.They’ve been around since 2012 or so, founded by someone I trusted, but he sold the business to Leadpages a few years ago, and it’s been going downhill ever since.I’ve been using them for years as the backbone of two “side” businesses: IndieHive, which covers this website for freelancers and the related products and services that I sell, and Everleads, a curated lead generation site for freelance designers and developers.In 2016 and 2017, I really dug deep into Drip. I built out dozens of interconnected workflows to carefully shepherd my subscribers through various funnels and sequences with duplicate emails or annoying content that’s not relevant to them. I integrated my web front-end with their APIs so that I could customize the site for subscribers. I wrote bridging scripts to connect it to Mixpanel for analytics, and I used Zapier to hook Drip up to even more services. It was the heart of my entire business, and it was awesome.But throughout 2018, things started to go awry.I kept experiencing glitches in the workflows where people would get stuck on workflow steps that should be instant, like “remove tag”. Or people would end one workflow and start another, but not have any of the data that the first workflow had set. There were honestly dozens of these little glitches, but individually they were minor.Also troubling: deliverability started to slip. Not precipitously, and I can’t prove that it wasn’t just my emails, but I have heard from others that they were having issues with getting their emails into people’s inboxes in 2018.But the most egregious thing for all of this was that support was basically no help at all. I probably opened two dozen support requests in 2018 and I’m not sure they actually resolved a single one. We’d spend hours going back and forth so they could even understand the problem. Then they’d almost always say one of two things:“For a workaround, just insert a number of delays between steps in your workflows so that the system doesn’t get confused!” So all my workflows had little 5 minute delay steps to try and make sure things worked correctly. Which they still didn’t. Wtf.Or they’d just say they need to escalate to the developers and then I’d get an email weeks or months later from some random support engineer letting me know they were still looking into why the most basic functions of their software don’t work right. Awesome.Alarmed by this, I repeatedly researched alternatives throughout 2018, but nothing seemed worth going through the pain of migration and the risk of just having similar issues somewhere else. So I kept resolving to be patient with Drip and hope (pray) that they were hard at work at undoing whatever architectural disaster had led us here.And then…In early January 2019, while I was on a relaxing cruise with my wife for our 15th anniversary, I got an email from Drip:https://ryanwaggoner.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/drip-bullshit-pricing-email-2.pngSo basically: “Hey, we’re raising our prices in 12 days! You can keep your current price if you switch to an annual plan!”And if you read it carefully, there’s something pretty important missing from this email.It doesn’t say what the new pricing is**. Seriously wtf.**So I emailed to ask. They responded the next day (so now I have 11 days) to reveal they were doubling my monthly price.Drip raised my price from $184 / month to $368 / month with 12 days notice.That’s just about the worst way imaginable to treat your oldest and most loyal customers.And it was the last straw for me.Now, to be clear, I completely understand wanting to grow a company in a new direction, or thinking that you need to raise prices to reflect more value.But you don’t do it when your platform is half-broken, you don’t do it with 12 days notice, and you grandfather in existing customers, at least for long enough for them to migrate. Also, you tell them the price when you tell them that prices are rising.It’s hard to imagine how Drip could have been more disrespectful to their customer base than what they did here.So as of last month, I switched all my subscribers to ConvertKit and ActiveCampaign for Everleads and IndieHive, respectively. That’s thousands of dollars that Drip won’t be getting from me. I managed to get both setups completely migrated off just before their billing renewal dates, in one case with literal minutes to spare.It was a pain and required some late nights but it was worth it to deny them another penny.I’m not alone in feeling upset about this. Twitter was ablaze for weeks with people who were angry and bailing for greener, more respectful pastures. I’ve taken a sick joy in watching a lot of people migrate off Drip with much larger lists than mine.I also cancelled Leadpages in favor of Instapage. I was already unhappy with Leadpages, mainly because it feels pretty clunky and dated, they aren’t very responsive to user feedback, and they’re still missing some pretty basic things (like being able to pass form data to the thank you page. Seriously?).Side note: I was going to link to the Leadpages idea portal, but they apparently shut it down. Makes sense, since it was filled with hundreds of good ideas with many, many customer votes that had been ignored for years.Regardless, even if Leadpages was awesome, they own Drip and I won’t give another penny to such an unethical company that treats its customers so poorly.And this migration was a huge pain (which is what they were counting on), partly because of how complex my Drip setups were, but also because ConvertKit and ActiveCampaign are both pretty different from each other and from Drip. On the surface, they all do some of the same things, but once you dig in, things diverge, which made the migration especially painful.Drip is complicated. Stupidly so. In fact, it’s so complicated that there are a number of problems using it:It doesn’t really work. I mean, it does like 99% of the time, but that last 1% means that some of your subscribers are going to have a bad time. And it’s not just that their emails won’t show up. They might just get stuck in a workflow, or skip some emails in a sequence, or get things at the wrong times, or lose data, etc. And since this happens randomly, the number of subscribers who experience it accumulates over time.The customer support reps don’t really know how it works, because it’s too complicated. So you end up spending hours writing up descriptions of the problem and putting together screencasts to show how things don’t seem to be working, and the only response you get is that they’ll have to ask the developers.It encourages you to setup really fancy complex automations which, even if they did work, are way beyond what you actually need. Just imagine: you can do anything! You can track everything! You can have an unlimited number of tags and fields! Track and automate all the things!Your setup can end up being really brittle and deeply tied to the Drip architecture, which is a problem if you want to migrate off. And it’s hard to expand and modify over time without breaking all kinds of things for your subscribers who are in those automations.The setup is hard to document. It’s easy to end up with a large collection of documents and spreadsheets and screencasts to try and explain not only what you did, but why you did it.It’s hard to audit and debug when things go wrong. And things will go wrong. It’s hard to tell exactly what’s happening with your subscribers, where things went off the rails, and how to get it back on track without screwing things up further.In the end, Drip for me felt like a really shitty programming language. Technically possible to do almost anything, but so painful that in the end you wish you hadn’t bothered.By contrast, ConvertKit is simple. And yes, I think it’s too simple in places. I think there are some genuine gaps in the functionality that makes it a little too hard to get done the things you want.But I’m also aware of the fact that I’m coming from Drip and a really convoluted setup, so being forced to simplify is probably a good thing.And ActiveCampaign is not simple, but it’s powerful in a bunch of ways that Drip should have been. Additionally, it has the distinction of actually being, you know, functional. Crazy, I know.Also, ActiveCampaign apparently is more open to feedback than Drip. I posted a Twitter thread listing some things that I like about it and Jason VandeBoom, the founder of ActiveCampaign, setup a call with me to go over some of my feedback. And ActiveCampaign isn’t a tiny company; they have hundreds of employees and are much larger than Drip. It meant a lot to me that Jason would just jump on the phone with a random customer to see how they could improve.Meanwhile Drip’s emails aren’t even signed by an actual person. During this whole debacle, I don’t think anyone from Drip actually responded to anyone’s tweets or complaints. A couple days after the initial announcement when things were blowing up on Twitter, they sent this out another email that was basically "sorry, not sorry"Just like their price increase, all of their corporate communication just screams “We don’t care about you. Go away.”So I did.I’m actually really glad that I dropped Drip, after all that. Partly because of how much better ConvertKit and ActiveCampaign are as tools, but mostly because it taught me a lesson about how you need to be careful when you’re a small company about who you integrate with, because while your interests may align now, that could change at any point.But this rant has gone on long enough, so I’ll save that point for a future post.Disclaimer: just in case Drip decides to sue me (which would be so on-brand for them at this point), ALL the descriptions of Drip’s functionality, failings, and communications is to the best of my recollection and should not be taken as a literal word-for-word account.----Happy to answer any questions about my experience with Drip, ConvertKit, or ActiveCampaign. Would also love to hear anyone else's experiences with any of those (or others you'd recommend in the space of email-based marketing automation).Original post: https://ryanwaggoner.com/drip-pricing-review/

[paulsolorzano]

12.09.18

Starbucks. Ribeyes. Storage space. Habits. 

Sorting through the space a little. I need to make some room for the giant Game Cube display my brother  is bringing up 

To discuss still: 

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando 

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis 

Escape as a coping mechanism 

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Gwen Stefani - love angel music baby 

Jeff Rosenstock - I look like shit 

My chill mix

Fake problems - real ghosts caught on tape 

Antarctigo Vespucci - soulmate stuff 

Antarctigo Vespucci - love in the time of email 

Kanye west - life of Pablo 

Kanye west - graduation 

Watching:

Somm on Netflix 

Reading: 

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

Wheat grass juice powder 

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink 

Outback ribeye and wedge salad and green beans 

Playing:

Purchases:

Final Fantasy crystal chronicles, Japanese version for Game Cube 

Squid head - vintage Star Wars

Packages received: 

No post on Sunday 

But I opened these:

Devil boy by Iconoclast

 eBay obsessions: 

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day: 

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags: 

12.08.18

Sommelier course, day 2. We take the exam at the end of the day today. Fingers crossed dammit. 

—-

Passed the exam! Hard work paid off. A vision planned out and executed. Nice win for me. And my boy Mac is all about it also. The wants to keel going and the wants me to come with him. 

To discuss still: 

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando 

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis 

Escape as a coping mechanism 

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Went to Axx Sxxxx’x house in winter garden, after going to outback. Lots of steak this week. Took a weird long way home through Apopka. 

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading: 

Eating:

Starbucks 

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received: 

eBay obsessions: 

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day: 

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags: 

12.07.18

Sommelier level 1 course: day 1. My boy Mac who I work with and I are here. Ritz-Carlton off of Koh young pkwy in Orlando. Way too early for me to be awake. I ended up waking at 5:30 to get moving. On a little break just now, after the first leg of slides. They gave us a physical copy of the huge pdf they emailed us. I’m scribbling notes as they lecture.  

—-

Hell of a long day. Got maybe 3 and a half hours of sleep? Came to the Ritz Carlton and downloaded 10 hours of information. Me and my boy Mac are as ready as we’re gonna be for tomorrow. 

After some introductory shit, It was pretty much all France today. We also tasted 12 different wines today. Surprisingly I’m not wasted. I pretty much spit everything out for the most part. 

Feeling more confident after today. But tomorrow is gonna be most of everything else: Germany, Spain, Italy, America and Australia I think. I didn’t even touch America or Australia. 

70 questions. I only need 60% to pass. That’s 42 correct questions. I can do this. 

To discuss still: 

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando 

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis 

Escape as a coping mechanism 

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading: 

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received: 

eBay obsessions: 

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day: 

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags: 

12.06.18

Ate a lot of meat yesterday. Craving more today. Also I seem to be having some mood related swings. In the shower today I was overwhelmed by sadness for a fleeting minute. Yes, it was relative to Axxxxx and how I blew it. 

Death cab for cutie playing in this Outback Steakhouse. Shoving a wedge salad into my face. The pen has ahold me; I smoked off of Tina’s cartridge because she wanted me to try it and see  if it was harsh. And it was. That didn’t stop me from taking a rip, and then another. 

I unfocus my eyes and stare through one of the tv screens playing basketball recaps. The pen has me in a daze. I finish chewing through this ribeye. Leaving nothing but a few green beans. Coffee after this undoubtedly. Me and my routines.  

—-

Time in Bradenton after Alaska with Danielito and the rest of my family:

My brother and I discussed me coming back and all we would do is smoke and watch YouTube videos, and goddam if we didn’t do just that. He was working a lot so I would also spend time with his gf Kristy. She enjoyed the company as my brother would later tell me. And I wouldn’t see why not seeing as my bro and I are similar dudes.  

Spending time with my mother was nice. Since we spoke every day over text we were pretty caught up when she and Rachel picked me up from the airport. 

—

Just interacted with an extremely enthusiastic barista at Starbucks. White girl, pretty perfect makeup, and ‘Disney cast member’ levels of energy and excitement. 

—

At a weird spot in town: 434. I’m not too familiar with this area. It’s hilly, which is uncharacteristic. That being said, I feel like I’m elsewhere.  On the road somewhere maybe. Different place, different climate as well since it’s actually cold today. And by that I mean 69°

To discuss still:  

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando 

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis 

Escape as a coping mechanism 

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Johnny’s fillin station for a date with Penny

Hung with Christine at her temporary Airbnb 

Listening to:

The agency - engines

Vulpeck - the beautiful game 

PHOX - PHOX

Lucius - Wildewoman 

Lucius - good grief 

Jeff Rosenstock - worry. 

Watching:

Reading: 

Eating:

Outback Steakhouse. Had a 10oz. Ribeye and green beans. Shrimp and garlic topper on the steak 

Starbucks cold brew with heavy cream and a shot 

Coffee from Austin’s 

Burger with no bun from Johnny’s filling station 

Salad with blue cheese dressing   

Playing:

Purchases:

A couple things from BAMF comics and collectibles 

Terminator ReAction figure

Vintage Star Wars figs:

Complete loose Lando Calrissian 

Complete loose Tusken Raider

Packages received: 

Not so much a package but Christine gave me a copy of MFing Wine Folly! Not too shabby at all. Nice thoughtful gift seeing as I’m doing my sommelier course tomorrow/Saturday 

eBay obsessions: 

Robotech action figures 

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day: 

“I can’t get into it” - my server at outback in regards to water. WATER! 

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags: 

12.05.18

Driving to Bradenton from Orlando: 

I like to take the scenic route to bradenton. Meaning, ill pull off at random exits to find a weird gas station, or a coffee. Always stop at the rest stops if I can remember. 

Its a road trip so I treat it like one, even f its only a couple hours. 

The last time I went, I checked out a vintage video game store in Largo I believe it was. Ended up going the St Pete way to bradenton. 

Driving to bradenton is part of my attempt to not be a deadbeat family member. To see them once a month if possible. Which with the slightest amount of planning, of course it’s possible.

Ive had this rental car since I got back to Orlando. A new Nissan Altima. Love the thing, but paying out the ass for the convenience. I’ve been slowly talking with  a couple places to try and get a vehicle but its slow going. Mostly because im semi lazy and have this vehicle already haha. 

Speaking of bradenton, I need to get the logistics down about getting the Game Cube station from my brother and bringing it up here somehow.

—

Feeling abnormally tired lately. Maybe I’m not gettin the right kind of sleep. Definitely  getting coffee. 

—

Coffee got. Strolling around the Altamonte mall solo. I spend a lot of time alone lately. Ive felt alone since  Alaska. 

Just a slow wave of sadness just underneath my surface. I need to exfoliate it. I will only achieve that with fulfilling things and people and experiences 

—-

There’s a dumpster in the winter park village; I just walked by it. One time, Axxxxx and I came dumpster diving over this way. We found a pretty sweet painting among other stuff in one of the dumpsters. I ended up hanging it up at the sumner house in Kissimmee. 

That place was once mine alone, and then she lived there briefly with me before we drove to Alaska.  

So yeah I just walked by the dumpster, and the swell of sadness rolled up on me. 

Everything around here is a memory of us. This may be part of the reason for my depression. I’m swimming around in memories all over town. I’m not safe because we’ve been every fucking where around here.  

And I sit at this red light with my head in my hand, crushed for a moment, due to life 

To discuss still: 

Time in Bradenton after Alaska with Danielito and the rest of my family 

Mother had a heart attack

Rachel getting a divorce

Back to Orlando 

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis 

Escape as a coping mechanism 

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Sufjan Stevens - songs for Christmas 

Deftones - Saturday night wrist 

Team Sleep - s/t

The reign of kindo - play with fire 

The reign of kindo - rhythm, chord and melody  

Brightwood - wake 

The reign of kindo - this is what happens

Queens of the Stone Age - songs for the deaf

Watching:

Bojack Horseman

Reading: 

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot 

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink 

Wheat grass juice powder 

Ribeye and creamed spinach from Longhorn steakhouse 

1/2 chicken from Pollo Tropical

pistachios after hitting the pen all night

Playing:

Purchases:

‘Choices’ by Jermaine Rogers 

Packages received: 

eBay obsessions: 

Deftones vinyl records

Lyric of the day:

“Bring me a reason to cry and I’ll shed you a tear” - the reign of Kindo 

Quote of the day: 

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags: 

[cloneslugs]

i will not let my blog being purged stop me frm sending u asks king so fr tht headcanon thing do ur top 3 tf2 mains :triumph:

remember  when u said ur the only person who validates me? yeah love you xxx come back soon king

also under a read more bc you asked for 3 and u know i cant shut up

Medic (#3)

What he smells like: a hospital morgue + excess blood + also that subtle sweet tang of medication

How he sleeps (sleeping position, schedule, etc): i just realized that all my hc are stupid and not specific as this ask is required and im hhh i shouldnt have asked for this BUT he sleeps pretty heavy compared to the rest of the mercs + sleeps on his side + he like? sleeps at really weird hours like between 2:30-3:00ish bc he stays up doing experiments or he cant get his mind to sit still and he gets so preoccupied and loses track of time + also he likes to sleep to whale/bird songs or like. really weird misc sound recordings that are sometimes. creepy

What music he enjoys: baroque era baby (or just plain classical stuff)

How much time he spends getting ready every morning: as like the only merc w/ open/visible/present hair + also the words most powerful bottom i want to say he takes a lot of time but really he like. maybe brushes his hair w his hands and slaps those glasses on and calls it a day science waits for no man

His favorite thing to collect: teeth?? or weird medical oddities like you see in freaky museums (+ that heavy hates :pensive: )

Left or right-handed:lleft

Religion (if any):he prays to no man or being or any sort

Favorite sport: s. sports? he doesnt. care but if he had to pick. cricket

Favorite touristy thing to do when traveling (museums, local food, sightseeing, etc): he actually likes trying foods but he doesnt really care much for tourism and going out he’d?? rather stay around at home/lab

Favorite kind of weather: stormy lets-bring-frankenstein’s-monster-to-life weather

A weird/obscure fear he has: he’s actually really scared of his own mortality and what lies beyond the realm of science and living even though he likes to pretend it’s nothing but emptiness even the thought of that is scary

The carnival/arcade game he always wins without fail: rring?? toss???

Soldier (my #2 ;_____; + loml)

What he smells like: gunpowder +. bread + metal + a hint of smoke

How he sleeps (sleeping position, schedule, etc): he wakes up at the crack of dawn no matter what (even if it means falling back asleep later) + rolls around a lot in his sleep + he sleeps pretty alright most nights + he has a singular stuffed animal in his bed

What music he enjoys: classic rock mostly + some like. modern party pop just for fun

How much time he spends getting ready every morning: he like. maybe brushes his teeth + spends time looking for his helmet which he. loses a lot somehow even tho he puts it in like. the same place every night or at least thinks he does

His favorite thing to collect: hats/helmets +. heads, he also likes collecting coins esp quarters + pennys 

Left or right-handed: right (maybe even ambidextrous??)

Religion (if any): he like. believes in a higher power in that “i was raised christian but never really fell for it” type way + defo doesnt practice anything 

Favorite sport: he says baseball but he gets bored watching it + doesnt really have attention for like. following any sport really

Favorite touristy thing to do when traveling (museums, local food, sightseeing, etc): he likes taking pictures actually of like monuments + general sightseeing(not really like. nature shots tho, just cool buildings and etc) and he actually has a slight interest in like the historical districts of small towns but he doesnt learn anything ever

Favorite kind of weather: sunny days !! especially ones after rainy days and the ground is still muddy >:D

A weird/obscure fear he has: horses. also riding in small boats

The carnival/arcade game he always wins without fail: that?? ball in bucket game alternatively

Sniper 

What he smells like: please dont make me say pee. scorched dirt(yknow how a 100+ summer day just. smells) + a musty room + sweat + a whiff of coffee & smoke 

How he sleeps (sleeping position, schedule, etc): he likes turns from his back to his sides a lot & is a little restless but not the worst of the mercs by far + he sleeps wherever & whenever he can + he lives off of coffee sometimes (especially depending if there’s a job) + he’s a light sleeper bc of the fact that he. can snooze a little too easily when he shouldn’t 

What music he enjoys: i hate this question so much not just for him but for everyone bc i have like 0 sense but he likes upbeat !! funky rock + also jazz but he likes to drive around w/ like. no music and just enjoy nature sounds + the wind + etc and can. basically listen to anything that’s not super repetitive or annoying

How much time he spends getting ready every morning: i want to say. zero but he actually does a little clean up and tries to be a little presentable like yeah he slaps a hat + glasses on and can call it a day there bc you dont see his face basically but he puts a little effort its what mama would want (+ taught)

His favorite thing to collect: random knickknacks from traveling???(magnets, keychains, snowglobes, bobbleheads, etc)?? also. quilts or neat handcrafted things like that

Left or right-handed: right

Religion (if any): he kinda questions a higher being + maybe prays to one in a spotty situation but he doesnt follow anything & if you ask he’d say None

Favorite sport: im honestly gay + my idea of sport association w/ anyone especially a fellow gay is so limited but uh *spins wheel* rugby

Favorite touristy thing to do when traveling (museums, local food, sightseeing, etc): sightseeing for sure especially natural wonders + he likes if he can get up high somewhere (not even like a sniper nest or anything, just like,, mountain views or smth) and just look over the landscape and all

Favorite kind of weather: clear/sunny weather but a little bit of overcast is nice 

A weird/obscure fear he has: being abandoned/discarded by people like,, getting attached to people only to have them turn on you/hate you

The carnival/arcade game he always wins without fail: that one bottle tipping one just bc. steady hands