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the-cult-of-russo · 2 years ago

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Such a Softer Sin (Part 12)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Warnings: I’m not specifically tagging this one, if you’ve seen the show, nothing will shock you. Smut will happen eventually so minors DNI, thanks.

A/N: Guess who feels like death again?? That's right, it’s this sickly bitch right here. Kill me lmao I’ve only just started to feel like I was getting over whatever I had last time and now I’ve got flu symptoms again and I’m just so done looool

I’m really enjoying seeing the speculation in the replies on where people think this is going and it’s so hard to not day if you’re right or not lmaooo

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You paced restlessly in front of the fountain in the garden, anxiety swallowing you whole and you couldn't keep still. Leanna was currently in labor and all you had to do was wait, but it felt like one of the hardest things you’d ever been through. She was a month early, making it a little further than her first pregnancy but you still worried, even with all of the medical staff and help she’d be getting. You ran a hand through your hair, tugging it in frustration as a growl left your lips. If there was one thing you hated more than anything, it was waiting. Especially when it could be for bad news.

“You okay?” you jumped at the voice, whipping around to see Billy watching you with a worried frown on his face.

“Leanna’s in labor so I’m just… freaking out until I get the news apparently,” you muttered, shaking your head as he approached you.

“She’s in good hands,” he reminded you and you nibbled your lip with a nod.

“I know, but after last time I can’t help but worry. Life loves to keep throwing shit at me lately so I’m just waiting for what else is going to go wrong,” you smirked self deprecatingly as you took up your pacing once more. You were stilled as he put his hands on your shoulders, leveling a look at you as his obsidian eyes danced around your face in concern. You could feel your whole body trembling with the anxiety you felt and after looking at you for a moment, he pulled you closer before wrapping his arms around you. You sunk into him, wrapping your arms around his middle as you tried to let it comfort you. He was warm and cozy and his scent was soothing. One of his hands came up to cradle the back of your head and you closed your eyes as you tried to just relax.

“Leanna’s gonna be fine, the baby is gonna be fine. You don’t need to worry, alright? We had a baby born here once that was four months early, tiny thing was the size of my goddamn hand and she still pulled through,” he assured you and you nodded, feeling a little better.

“I’m just worried,” you admitted quietly into his chest and his hold on you tightened.

“I know,” he murmured, stroking your hair.

“Y//N,” a voice broke your moment with him and you parted, looking over to the archway to see Kos. You expected to see the worst, that horrible devastation that had been all over his face the last time. Instead, you found a beaming smile and teary eyes and your legs wobbled a little, Billy’s hand coming to steady you.

“They’re okay,” Kos grinned and you let out a watery laugh, tears freeing themselves down your cheeks as you ran to him and engulfed him in a hug.

“They’re really okay?” you asked in disbelief, your voice sounding small as you cried into his neck.

“They’re really okay. We can go and see them,” he informed and you felt excitement welling inside of you. The pack’s first little pup, you really couldn't wait. You moved away and wiped your eyes with a smile before turning back to Billy. He was smiling fondly at you and it made your chest feel warm.

“Thank you,” you said sincerely and he nodded.

“Don’t gotta thank me, you go see the baby. Congratulations,” he grinned as he came over. He clapped Kos on the back and Kos smiled with a nod and then he turned to you with a warm smile before he left the gardens.

“Come on,” Kos smiled eagerly and you didn't waste another moment as you both set off to the medical facility.

You were in there for hours, spending time with Leanna as you told her what an amazing job she’d done and staring at little Orion in his incubator. He was so small and all you wanted to do was scoop him up and cuddle him forever. He was the first of the new generation of your pack and you wondered if there would ever be more. Maybe Atti and his mate and the thought soured your mood instantly. He’d missed the birth of the pack’s first baby and to say you were mad would be an understatement. After feeling like you and Kos had bugged Leanna enough, that and also the other members of your pack wanted to come and see her and she couldn't have too many people in the room at once, you and Kos left the medical facility and you were a mix of elated and annoyed. It was a confusing combination.

“I can’t believe Atti missed this,” you huffed with a scowl. When you saw him next, you had half a mind to beat the shit out of him for this.

“I know,” Kos sighed and you folded your arms across your chest as you both walked through the castle grounds.

“I get he has a mate now but he’s just abandoned us all, even with everything else going on. He’s the pack Gamma, he should have been here, he should be here to fight with us all, but instead he’s out doing god knows what with his mate,” you growled.

“I know, the pack keeps asking where he is and I have no idea what to tell them. I think they all feel a little let down by him to be honest. I’ll go out and find him for you if you want. The mindlink won’t work too far but I can go out, just keep reaching out until I’m close enough for it to work,” he suggested and you felt your heart expand at how much he cared for you, for your pack. He was like the older brother you never had, the one you never knew you needed until he came into your life. You knew that while Atti’s behavior had annoyed him too and the rest of the pack, he was only offering because it was bothering you so much.

“You’d really do that?” you asked, giving him a grateful smile and he slung his arm over your shoulder, yanking you closer and you laughed.

“I’d do anything for you, you know that,” he answered with a grin and you beamed at him, stopping to give him a big bear hug.

“I love you,” you murmured as you squeezed him tightly.

“I love you too,” he replied with a smile, kissing the top of your head before he moved away.

“I’ll set off now. You take point when I’m gone, Beta,” he smirked and you gave him a mock salute.

“Yes, sir,” you snorted and he flicked you on the nose, making you yelp as your hand came up to it. He started laughing as he walked away and you shook your head at him. You hoped he’d be back by tonight, that you wouldn’t wind up sleeping alone as the last time had been hell. You were grateful for him going out to look though. Atti needed to be brought back and given some tough love on how his behavior was affecting everyone. It wasn’t right of him to abandon the pack like this.

You occupied your time training once again, trying to let off some steam and helping some of the other recruits who asked for it. The warriors that had been here before you had thankfully gotten over the fact that the infamous Dancer of Death was in their presence, they’d started just treating you normally and you were grateful. But now with new wolves coming in almost everyday, you’d had to deal with the fear and awe you received when people found out who you were. It was a little tiring. After training, you set off to find Azalea. You enjoyed spending time with her and you tried to make more of an effort to seek her out knowing how busy she was. You found her in the laundry room as she sorted through what looked like a never ending sea of clothes.

“Need some help?” you asked her wryly as you stood in the doorway. She looked over to you in shock before a bright smile graced her face.

“You don’t need to do that, I’m sure you have better things to be doing,” she smiled politely and you snorted as you walked in the room properly.

“I want to be here. We can hang out and I can help you get this done faster,” you raised a brow at her, hoping to tempt her and she snorted.

“Okay,” she relented and you shot her a toothy grin. You’d learned in your time here that she was a hard worker, probably why the King favored her so much. At first, you'd thought that it had been Billy to push her to work so hard, feeling sorry for her. But now you knew she was just a workaholic and Billy was constantly telling her to go and rest or take some time away from her jobs. She just chose not to listen. She was also a stickler for the rules and you’d had to gently and gradually get her used to stepping out of her comfort zone. That included things like having a Beta help her with chores. You spent a while with her folding and sorting clothes as you talked about anything and everything.

“I keep wondering if my mate will be one of the new warriors that keep turning up,” she mused as she folded a tunic and set it in the large pile.

“Maybe he will be, you’ll have to keep your eyes peeled,” you grinned wryly at her and she smiled.

“You never know, maybe yours will be here too,” she shrugged, a sly grin on her face and you snorted at her.

“Yeah… I doubt it, but maybe,” you murmured, smiling triumphantly once your pile was all folded nice and neat. Nowhere near as neat as Azalea’s, but still neat enough.

“I still can’t believe Leanna finally had her baby,” you sighed wistfully, leaning on the cupboard as you watched her fold the last of her clothes.

“He’s adorable, I saw him when I went to visit Jason before. Jason and Orion can be incubator buddies, maybe they’ll grow up to be best friends,” she grinned and you smiled at the thought. You were over the moon that the baby was okay, that things finally seemed to be looking up. Maybe you were finally catching a break and you could stop being so cynical. Even with all the bullshit that had happened since you arrived at the castle, little Orion being born fine and receiving the best care he could made it all worth it. Not long after, Azalea kicked you out. You’d offered to help her deliver all of the freshly washed clothes but she’d drawn the line at that so you’d left. It was almost time for dinner anyway.

When it came to dinner time, Kos still wasn’t back and you were starting to get anxious that he might not return before bed time. Maybe you’d just stay up really late until he got back. When you walked into the mess hall, you spied Billy, Frank, Curtis, Micro and Karen at the diner table. You’d asked Micro once why you rarely saw his mate and you found out that she and the kids technically didn't live here. They lived with her original pack and would go back and forward. You’d met her a few times and you liked her, even if the set up confused you a little. You weren't sure why but you’d heard snippets about safety and the last war and everything else confused you. You grabbed your food before making your way over to the table and when Billy saw you coming over, he gave you a blinding smile. You sat next to him, your usual seat now it seemed as everyone greeted you. It was nice to have friends outside of Kos and Atti. It meant you weren’t eating alone.

“Where’s Kos?” Frank asked curiously between shoveling bites of food in his mouth. Karen gave him a dirty look and your lips quirked up a little.

“He’s out finding Atti. I’m worried about him, we haven't heard anything in a while and it’s unlike him,” you explained with a frown.

“Finding your mate can be rough though. It’s intense. You just want to do whatever you can to make them happy and be with them,” Micro mused as he gave you a sympathetic smile.

“I mean, that's true but there’s still loyalty there to the pack. I don’t really agree with Atticus just leavin’ the way he did,” Frank muttered. You were kind of surprised he was so openly confessing to his disdain for your best friend's actions but you were grateful it wasn't just you being overdramatic.

“Frank,” Karen chided softly, eyes wide as they flit from you to him.

“It’s fine, he’s not wrong,” you snorted.

“Anyway, I don’t like Aurora so maybe I’m biased,” Frank smirked, raising a wry brow at you.

“What? Why?” Billy asked, confused, looking as surprised as you were at Frank’s admission. You really hadn't expected that but once again, you were glad it wasn't just you being a bitch. Frank took a sip of his drink before rubbing his thumb against his bottom lip.

“I just… don’t like her. She’s always so cold and somethin’ about her just rubs me the wrong way. Just a gut feelin’, you know?” Frank asked as he looked at Billy. It made you worry a little more if you were honest. You didn’t like Atti being fated to someone like that and maybe that was why he was changing so much.

“Kos will find him,” Billy said firmly after giving Frank a pointed look. You blinked up at him and he gave you a reassuring smile.

“If you want, I can order Atticus and Aurora to stay,” he grinned jokingly and honestly, you thought about it for a moment. It almost felt like the only way to get the boy to stick around.

“No, it's fine,” you shot him a smile and he nodded. You knew it wouldn't go down well if he was forced to stay like that, it would only create more distance between you that you’d gone telling on him to the King.

“Alright. I’ll still speak to him though if I see him. Give him a lecture about responsibility or some shit,” he smirked and you snorted at him. Maybe Atti would listen if the King himself told him he was needed here.

Later that night, you were still awake and Kos wasn’t home. You didn’t really want to go to bed, not yet. You were still clinging to the hope that he’d come back soon and you wouldn't be doomed to a night of loneliness. You wondered what might happen, if Kos would even find him or not. If he did, how would Atti react to being brought back like this? You wanted to tear him a new one but part of you knew he’d probably get defensive if you did. You’d promised him you’d try to be more understanding about the whole mate thing and you felt like you were failing. But he’d promised to be around more and divide his time equally and he wasn't here so you could hardly blame yourself. You thought back to Frank’s words, not just about not liking Aurora but about him being annoyed with Atti. He’d mentioned that while the bond was strong like Micro had suggested, that there was still loyalty there. So you really couldn't fathom how he could so willingly abandon you all in the middle of a war like this. You heaved a large sigh, leaning your chin on your hand, your arm propped up by your leg as you looked at the still ‘ruined by magic’ moon. You hated it. You heard the gates open and your head looked over so fast, you were surprised you didn’t snap your neck. You felt relief flooding your system as Kos came through them but Atti wasn’t by his side which made you deflate. But then you just felt confused as you noticed a girl with him and it most certainly wasn’t Aurora. He saw you, saying something to the girl who smiled and they both made their way over and you stood up. You were about to ask him about any news of Atti but he spoke first, throwing your brain for a loop.

“Y/N… this is my mate Irene,” he had a careful tone to his voice, like he was talking to a spooked animal as your eyes widened, going to Kos’ bright smile to the girl standing next to him. She gave you a shy smile and your brain felt like it had stopped functioning completely.

“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you already,” she smiled brightly as she held her hand out. You blinked at it for a moment before you took it, shaking it weakly as your mind still reeled from what you’d just been told. Kos looked so happy and it was weird to see him this way and as you glanced from his lovesick smile to his mate, you found yourself feeling happy for him. She seemed nice, much nicer than Atti’s mate.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” you reply, still sounding in shock as you tried to give her a smile. You tried to tell yourself that this would be different to Atti. Case in point was the fact that Kos had come back and his mate had been introduced right away.

“I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for you. I went out there to find Atti for you and now… Thank you,” Kos said sincerely and you had little time to process his words before he scooped you a giant hug. You hugged him back, feeling more than overwhelmed.

“Who’s this?” you broke away from Kos to see Billy and Frank. You presumed they’d just finished patrolling since you knew that's where they’d gone after dinner. Frank's voice wasn't unkind, just curious.

“This is my mate Irene,” Kos grinned and both of the men looked surprised. You didn't miss how Billy’s eyes cut to you quickly and you wondered if he was worried how you were taking the news.

“Congrats, man,” Frank smiled, giving him a manly hug with a pat to the back and Billy did the same.

“It’s nice to meet you, Irene,” Billy smiled at her and she looked starstruck for a moment but you knew that feeling well. It was a weird experience to meet the King for the first time, especially when you found out he behaved just like a normal person.

“I was wondering, Your Majesty… would she be able to stay here with me? Obviously she’s my mate and with the war-” Kos started carefully but Billy cut him off.

“Of course she can, it won’t be a problem,” he nodded, looking at Irene then with a calm smile.

“If you come with me and Frank, we can talk about your role here and all the rules,” Billy said and she nodded. You watched the three of them leave into the castle as you and Kos stayed outside.

“I’m happy for you,” you assured after a few worried glances your way. He relaxed a little then, smiling.

“I’m glad. I really can’t believe I found her,” he chuckled. He seemed so different to how you knew him to be, like a lifetime of trauma had been lifted off his shoulders.

“There’s something I need to talk to you about… I… You’re going to have to pick your own room,” he said warily, a guilty look to his face. You were stunned at first and then it hit you. Of course he’d be sharing a room with his mate, you were stupid to not even put that together. You could hardly share a bed with the pair of them, that would be absurd and it was inappropriate for you and Kos to share a bed and expect his mate to have her own room. You felt that pain rip right through your heart again and you tried your hardest to push it way down deep so he didn't notice it. Despite it all, you were happy for him and he deserved to be happy. It wasn't his fault you were broken and scared to be alone. This was something you had to deal with.

“That’s fine. I’ll pick one now and move my stuff so it’s not in your way,” you nodded, giving him a forced smile. You couldn't stick around for him to pick up on it, couldn't ruin his happy moment like this. You hurried off to the pack house, running up the stairs. You held yourself together as you took anything of yours from the room you’d been in and picked one of the spare rooms, dumping everything on the floor. Then the tears came. You felt a deep agonizing loss burning in your chest as you slid to the floor, sobs wracking your chest as you struggled to breathe. First Atti and now Kos. While you knew it was a little different with Kos, knew he would make an effort to at least be present, you’d still lost him. He had his mate now and he wouldn't be with you as much, wouldn't keep you safe at night. Too much was changing and you were struggling to cope with it.

“Y/N,” a soft voice hit your ears then and you looked up, mortified to see Azalea standing at your door. You didn't know if you'd left the door open or if she’d let herself in, but either way, you wiped your eyes quickly as your cheeks burned in shame. She looked at you sympathetically as you sniffled and tried to pull yourself together.

“Are you okay?” she asked quietly and you gave her a jerky nod, unable to speak and not wanting to talk about it.

“The King wants you,” she murmured and you gave her a confused look, getting to your feet. You had no idea what he wanted to speak to you about. You hoped it wasn't war related, you were dealing with too much already. You followed Azalea out of the pack house and into the castle. You were silent and she didn't make conversation, sensing you weren't in the mood. She did keep looking at you though with a concerned look on her face. You weren't crying anymore but you were sure your eyes were damp and red.

“This is the King’s room,” she supplied outside of a door. You were shocked, never having been in there before. You’d thought it would be in his office or something. You were worried something urgent may have come up. She left you then with a sad smile and you blinked at the door for a moment. You knocked with a shaky hand and it didn't take long for the door to swing open. He didn't have his jacket on, the tie on the neck of his tunic loosened a little and his hair a little bit all over. He looked at you and you couldn't read his expression as he moved to the side and let you step in the room. He closed the door behind him before walking over to where you stood in the middle of the room. It didn't look much different to the room you’d been in when you were here. The only difference being the decor was white and gold and the room was pristine.

“Why am I here?” you asked with a raw voice after he didn't say anything.

“Are you okay?” he asked pointedly, his dark concerned eyes burning holes into you. You really hadn't expected that question, hadn't expected to be called here just for him to see how you were doing. You’d vented to him many times at this point and you figured it couldn't hurt to do it again, yet instead, your treacherous body decided it was a great time to burst into tears again. You were horrified and extremely embarrassed to break down in front of him like this. You covered your mouth as if to stifle the pitiful noises leaving your lips but it did little to help. You once again found yourself enveloped in his arms as he held you, stroking your hair. You felt like you couldn't breathe, lungs burning with each painful sob and you wobbled where you stood, unsteady on your feet. You felt him guide you to his bed, sitting you down as he still held you and sat beside you. It felt like forever until you got control over your sobs and you sat up properly, wiping your eyes at shame nipped at your heels. He was watching you carefully and he put his hand on your back, rubbing it gently and you tried to find comfort in it.

“I knew you’d be upset about this, it's another big change,” he murmured and you nodded with a sniffle. It touched you though that he cared enough to ask you here, knowing how hurt you’d be.

“I just…” you trailed off as your voice wobbled and you took a deep inhale to steady yourself. You really didn't want to have another bout of tears in front of him.

“I feel like everyone I care about is being taken away from me. Who am I going to lose next? You?” you lamented bitterly, feeling like a ball of fire was settling in your chest.

“Never,” he insisted, so vehemently that it made you look at him. His eyes were wide and imploring as he watched you unblinking.

“Nothin’ would ever take me away from you,” you were shocked by the conviction in his tone and you found the ball of fire cooling to a comfortable warmth instead. You didn’t fully believe it, even if you did appreciate the sentiment. But you knew if his mate turned up too, he’d also leave. You knew how much he longed for her, you wouldn't blame him even if it would hurt.

“I’ve had to… I’ve had to move into my own room and I hate sleeping alone. I just hate all these changes happening. The war is bad enough but now too much is going on all at once,” you frowned despondently.

“You’re strong, Y/N, you can pull through this. It won’t be the same as Atticus, Kos wants to stay here. You’ll be able to bond with his mate and be a real family,” he insisted. You nodded, taking a deep breath.

“I know,” you murmured and he rubbed your back again. You wanted that, you wanted to be a part of it. Despite the feelings you were having, you were happy for Kos and the idea of being able to bond with his mate and still having him around was the only thing you were clinging on to.

“I should get back,” you sighed, rubbing your eyes as you stood. You felt tired now, completely drained after your emotions running rampant. He stood too, walking you to the door.

“Will you be alright?” he asked carefully, eyes scanning your face. You gave him a tired smile.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay… Thank you,” you gave him a meaningful look and he smiled with a nod.

“Anytime. Goodnight, Y/N,” he murmured.

“Goodnight,” you smiled before you left the room.

The night had been terrible and restless. You’d barely slept a wink on your own and by morning, you were just as exhausted as the night before. You got dressed and ready for the day, wondering just what shit it would throw at you this time as you trudged down the stairs. You were startled to see Irene sitting on the sofa. She brightened when she saw you, giving you a warm smile that put you at ease. It wasn't her fault you had issues and she seemed like a really nice person.

“Good morning,” she smiled. You decided this was a good time to try and connect with her so you gave her a smile and sat next to her, leaving some space so she didn't feel crowded.

“Where’s Kos?” you asked curiously. You were surprised he wasn't glued to her side. A fond smile passed her face that made your chest ache, wondering what it must be like to feel that kind of love.

“He’s with the King,” she explained and you nodded. You weren't quite sure how to strike up a conversation with her, you’d never been great with new people and a silence settled over you both.

“Kos told me all about you,” she started and as you looked at her, she was looking at you with a soft look on her face, almost sympathetic.

“He told me how close you are… you, him and Atticus. I just want you to know that… I’m not taking him away. I want to be part of this family, that includes you. I’ve heard so much about you even before Kos and honestly, I’ve admired you for a long time. You're so brave and strong, more than I’ll ever be. If you’d let me… I’d like to be part of the family,” she murmured carefully, looking slightly apprehensive about what your answer might be. You wondered if Kos had explained about Atti and how he ran off after finding his mate given her words but they touched you. The fact she would let you know her intentions and that she wanted to be part of the family meant a lot to you. She wasn’t stealing Kos away from you, she was just joining him.

“I’d really like that,” you admitted and her body sagged in relief, a bright smile tugging on her lips.

“Really?” she asked and you grinned.

“Really. Welcome to the family, Irene,” you smiled and her face lit up. You really wanted to be able to bond with her more, get to really know her. You liked her already and you were so glad Kos’ mate turned out to be such a nice person. He needed someone like her in his life.

“Have you seen the Royal Gardens yet?” you asked her and she shook her head with a curious look.

“No,” she answered and you grinned as you stood up.

“Come on,” you instructed and she beamed, getting to her feet and following you out.

You walked together to the gardens and her eyes widened as you made your way through the archway.

“Oh… wow. This is beautiful,” she murmured in awe, her head turning as she took everything in much like you had when you’d first seen them.

“I know, it’s amazing. It's one of my favorite places. The King planted everything himself,” you smiled proudly, as if you’d been the one to do it. She looked at you then with a smile.

“You’re close with the King,” she observed and you chuckled, nodding as you tried to ignore the way heat crept into your cheeks.

“I am… He’s a close friend,” you smiled and she nodded.

“He’s nice, not as scary as I thought he’d be,” she mused with a rueful smile and you snorted.

“I think he gets that a lot,” you grinned and it made her laugh.

“Did you find out what your role here would be?” you asked as you both sat on the bench.

“Not yet, we’re still figuring it out. I’m more of a healer than a fighter, so I’d be useless as a warrior,” she smiled wryly.

“Maybe you could work in the hospital,” you shrugged.

“That was one of the King’s suggestions. I think I’d like doing something like that, helping people,” she admitted with a smile.

“I can put in a good word for you if you want?” you smirked and her face lit up.

“I’d appreciate it,” she smiled. You both spent some more time in the gardens as you got to know each other better and you found you really liked her and it eased most of your worries about Kos. You’d still have to get used to sleeping alone but that would be the only thing you needed to worry about with this and it made you feel better. After a while, you both headed back to the pack house and Kos was sitting on the steps. When he looked up and saw you both approaching, he looked relieved and a smile graced his face at seeing you two bonding. You realized he’d been really worried about how you’d react and it made you feel bad, even if it was understandable. He stood up and kissed his mate briefly and she gave you a smile.

“Thank you,” she grinned and you gave her a nod.

“You don’t need to thank me, we’re family now,” you replied and her smile widened before she slipped inside.

“I’m happy you two are getting on,” Kos admitted.

“I really like her,” you confessed and he smiled. It faded though and you frowned, watching as he sat down again.

“I need to talk to you,” he muttered and you looked at him warily before sitting beside him on the steps.

“What is it?” you asked carefully. He wiped a hand over his face before he leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs.

“When I went out, I connected with Atti,” he explained. You were surprised since he hadn't said anything and as if reading your thoughts, he spoke again.

“I didn’t tell you last night because of Irene, there was already so much going on. I didn’t see him but I managed to mindlink him. I told him he’s needed back here and he agreed to come back in the next few days,” he murmured. You felt relieved at the news but also annoyed. You knew you’d give him an earful when he got back and maybe that’s why Kos seemed so stressed about it. You were sick of moping and crying about it all, sick of feeling hurt. You two were best friends and he had no right in doing this to you, no right in abandoning your pack like he had, mate or not. The pack needed him and he missed the birth of the pack’s first ever baby. He’d left your pack without a Gamma and you weren't having it anymore. He needed to step up and deal with it. The mate bond was no excuse, not when Kos was here with his mate and you’d already bonded with her. He was going to get a piece of your mind when he got here.

Taglist: (if you’ve been asked to be tagged and aren’t here, it wouldn’t let me tag some people.)

@firexfate

@blanchedelioncourt

@on-ya

@sunshinedaisies-anddeath

@snowkestrel

@music-indie-tv

@idaofinfinity

@sweetserendipity65

@ramadiiiisme

@k-marzolf

@celestialams

@woowwwee

@noortsshift

@rainbowgoblinfan

@mysweetlittledesire

@promnightbinbaby

@intothesoul

#billy russo imagine #billy russo fanfic #billy russo x reader #billy russo

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eruhatesu · 1 year ago

Note

Can u tell us how ur passion for Gojohime started and what u love about them? <3

Hi aaaaaa omg it's been years!! It took me a while bc maybe I was as densed as Utahime. The first time I watched the animation seeing them bicker and act like parents I immediately thought "hmmmm I think there's something between them and maybe I just missed it but its funny and cute" so I just watched not shipping them right away . Then I saw this juju sanpo I realized Utahime is clueless af and whatever they had going just tripled the brainrot in my head !! Sooo many possibilities I just love that they arent canon (yet) and omg the crumbs!! I love that they just work well together bc despite her "hating" him and him loving to annoy her, it's shown how much they trust each other. They're each other's constant. I love it.

The brainrot was too much and I couldnt see that much fics or art at the time so I had to draw what I wanted to see and the rest was history (you can checkout my gojohime fanarts @eru-sauce orthrough #🍊.eru art tag looool

I met so many good people through the gouta community Im so thankful ☺️

also shoutout to my aot moots for sticking with me even after not shutting up these two lol. Fr they're the ones who saw me fall down the rabbit hole lol

#ask eru #anon!#gojohime #gouta

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heytheredeann · 2 years ago

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LOOOL yeah the angst gremlin did love it very much and I'm still thinking about it

But also YEAH, Third Guy had NO idea what he was getting himself into, he did step in figuring that he wouldn't be their favourite person because he's taking the spot of their friend but.........what do these people even have going ON

And then life or death situations happen and now he's in the foxhole with these weird people. why is his life like this. I need to know more about him, is he usually this unlucky? Is he just a normal, chill guy who was happy to get the spot and wanted to do his job and go home and then found himself in this mess? Am I allowed to headcanon him as a hopeless aro like me, so when he sees the weird mess that these three have got going on he's all "awww how nice, look at them, close friendships are so nice, look at this man and woman so platonically close and just as close with their third buddy <3", he gets all sad when he witnesses Illya speaking to Napoleon because awww he too would be distraught if he lost his best buddy :(, and then once they get down and he sees Illya and Napoleon kiss passionately he has a revelation because "Oh......right......most people do be like that"?

.......I got carried away but STILL, Third Guy has potential I'm telling you LOOOOL

Hello (and guess what, I'm sending a 'normal' ask for once😉)

So, I love your TMFU AU's headcanons and I felt like sending you one for your consideration: Apollo 13 (the movie (hoping you've seen it otherwise this will a bit spoilery...)).

Illya, Napoleon and Gaby are the three astronauts meant to board the rocket and fly it to the moon (while Waverly is the Flight Director guiding the mission from earth.) They are a tightknit team who've come to trust each other with their life after hours and hours of training. Of course, Illya and Napoleon have fallen for each other along the way, and although they suspect their feelings may be returned, none of them has dared to make a move yet. Gaby is growing tired of seeing those two idiots dance around each other but, as the launching day approaches, she figures out she can wait a few more days before making them confront their feelings.

Only, days before the launch, Napoleon learns that he has been exposed to the measles, and since the NASA can't afford having an astronaut fall sick in space, he is replaced with his backup (I have no idea who that could be, but I like the idea of making a crossover with another spy movie franchise and bring in Colin Firth or something 😋). Illya and Gaby are not quite happy - not that the new guy is not competent, only he's not Napoleon -, but it's not like they can do anything about it anyway. Napoleon has thus to stay on earth and watch as a spectator as the rocket rises in the sky.

On the third day of the mission, an electrical short causes an explosion and the rocket starts loosing fuel. the NASA has no choice but to abort the moon landing, but that's not the worst part: with a damaged craft and little energy left, the astronauts might not make it back to earth either. Ground control gather the best experts to find solutions to (safely) bring the crew back home, and Napoleon (who did not get measles after all) is the most dedicated of them all. No one on earth knows the craft better than he does, and he'll be damned if he cannot find a way to work something out!!

I just think this AU offers so much possibilities (ok, so much angst 😅). Between the announcement that Napoleon has to step back (maybe Illya and/or Gaby say they won't go without him and Napoleon is the one to convince them to go anyway - then blames himself for it after the explosion?), the conversations between Ground Control and the crew (in my head, Waverly is the main interlocutor but Napoleon steps in to explain the required procedures/modifications...of course the communications are public and probably recorded, and though I can't see Napoleon make an outright confession, I can see him slip in allusions, choose his words to show how much he cares...), the deteriorating life conditions in the craft (the heat turned off, the carbon dioxide filters running out, the automatic navigation systems shutting down,...), the excruciatingly long seconds of radio silence... (and of course, as a bonus, the reunion!)

Just thought I'd dropped that here in case it may interest you (or you've got more ideas to add...) 😊

I have to admit I smiled at your warning that this might be spoilery, because somewhere in my parent's house there's a copy of the book Apollo 13 that I got signed by Jim Lovell on a class trip to the Huntington Space & Rocket Center shortly after the movie came out. So I am quite familiar with the story, as it turns out. 😅 (I loooooved that movie. It sparked a little space phase for me.)

Also oh my goodness, this is a wonderful setup for a super angsty story, lol. Especially with them not admitting their feelings before the launch! This is definitely torture Napoleon hours—not only does he not to get to go on the mission, he has to watch as two people he's super close to, one of whom is the love of his life, facing near certain death and not be able to do anything about it. I can imagine someone trying to keep him out, maybe Waverly as the mission director has an inkling of what they mean to him and so he worries about letting Napoleon be involved because he's so emotionally invested.

Then in the actual discussions, Napoleon would at first not be the one doing the talking, as you suggest, but I can see him taking over in a moment of emergency. He just jumps in, because this would be so much easier if he could just talk to them. And of course, the moment Illya hears his voice he's kind of stunned, there's silence on the line and people kind of freak out. I imagine Illya would be torn because of course Napoleon knows the ship better than almost anyone, but at the same time he knows he's staring down certain death and he doesn't want Napoleon to be there for it. Their communications (which were absolutely recorded and public) would become increasingly fraught, and I love the idea of them trying to say it without saying it, because this might be the last time they have to speak together.

So yeah, the A N G S T. Oof. But the reunion would be everything, I'm picturing them both just about running into each other's arms and kissing, not caring who is watching (it's the whole world, the whole world is watching lolol). Thanks for sending this in, it's a great AU idea!

#napoleon x illya #illya x napoleon x gaby #third guy #yes i will keep tagging him sssshhh #i'm not naming him because i hate naming characters and things and fics and anything really looool #not spn #tmfu #ely has shit to say #they don't need queue

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mithrilhearts · 2 years ago

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15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Thank you for the tag, @blueberryrock!! I decided to make a new post because the other one was getting quite long.

edit: I’ve been tagged for this more, so adding in the other people who have mentioned me, because I’m not doing it again lol thank you for the tags guys!!

@skinnyscottishbloke @myeaglesong

Rules: answer the questions and tag fifteen mutuals.

1. Are you named after anyone?

Not that I’m aware of. I don’t recall anyone in my family tree from eons back having this name, so probably not.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Hmm, I can’t really remember exactly, but I think it was my last mental breakdown loooool. Life’s hard, man, sometimes ya just gotta cry.

3. Do you have kids?

Absolutely not.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Only all the time.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their attitude - I work with people daily and like to think I can get a good read on people and their vibe.

6. What's your eye colour?

Hazel (Green/brown)

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. I hate scary movies!

8. Any special talents?

This is hard, but I’m gonna say....no? idk. This is a question I don’t like.

9. Where were you born?

Kansas (pls don’t make any Wizard of Oz jokes looool)

10. What are your hobbies?

Writing, gif making, gaming, tumblr I guess lol

11. Have you any pets?

I have two small dogs! :)

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Soccer and Softball, the latter more than the former, and I miss it terribly.

13. How tall are you?

5'0 (152.4cm)

14. Favorite subject in school?

If we’re talking core classes, then English/Literature, but anything else? Art/web design.

15. Dream job?

Stay at home fic writer (now as me what sounds reasonable 😂😂😂)

non obligatory tags for @middleearthpixie @tetchy-frog @pomgore @porphyriosao3 @wanderingjedihistorian @legoyass @theladygreiwolf @frosticenow @i-did-not-mean-to @eylittlered @mathelaw and honestly, anyone else who wants to play.

#tag game #a little about me i guess!

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milehighmechanic · 3 months ago

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Random headcanon generator

Tony is very good at using chopsticks. Yeah, he's definitely fully competent. SI does a lot of business in Asia, for one, and he's also just a very dextrous guy.

Tony is a theatre kid. Nope. He... could? have been? in a different universe with a different upbringing perhaps, but nah, he's a little nerd hanging out in the labs or the library. Also he didn't have a typical education experience at all.

Tony had an emo phase. I don't think so, a possibility? if he had a normal highschool experience but tony pretty much goes from being a precocious little nerd to being a party boy during college, so no.

Tony hates being alone. Who? Tony? The guy who builds AIs and robots so that he doesn't have to be alone? Whose greatest fear is being the only one left alive? hmm yeah.

Tony could easily survive The Hunger Games. I don't know about easily, that depends who he's fighting against, but yeah, he has the brains and survival instincts, and for a regular human guy he's pretty good at fighting.

Tony was dropped out of a window as a child. LMAO. those hephaestus vibes looool. but no, probably not. he might have jumped on his own accord...

Tony knocks people over by hugging them. Nah, he hugs either pretty casual or just tight and clinging.

Tony uses two-in-one shampoo and conditioner. Tony has multiple expensive hair products. He's not snobbish about it, he would use it without thinking about it, but his own stuff is expensive shampoo, conditioner, styling stuff, etc.

Tony listens to 80s music. Yup. 70s and 80s are his primary music eras, rock music his primary genre.

Tony doesn't own a single pair of matching socks. Nah, for one he's not the type to just lose socks? And he has too many clothes probably so he's not lacking socks.

Tony makes your mom jokes. No, not his style. Maybe very subtly, but he's usually more witty than that.

Tony can't sit in a chair properly. I mean, he CAN. He has to play the normal business guy sometimes. And he has a nice ergonomic chair in the labs, when he sits on it. but he is also bisexual so......

Tony believes in Santa. He doesn't, but at this point in his life he also would not be surprised to find out that Santa is actually real.

Tony does not know what sleep is. Yes.

Tony is a very good singer. He's decent, he's done enough music as a child etc, but I think 'very good' is a stretch.

tagged by @glacierfront

tagging: @myatonements @rcscue @thrownsoul @despiterage (efren/marcus/driz?)

#headcanon

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voidcat-senket · 1 year ago

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20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @hxhhasmysoul and @subdee!! <3 <3 <3 who are both v lovely go like. look at their blogs. anyway

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

.161

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

520,484 - 27% of that is one fic looool

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now just HxH and SW:Fallen Order series. Sherlock and Star Trek AOS were big ones too

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Closing the Space (Between Us) - again its 27% of my wordcount! It deserves it! the Hunter x Hunter Killugon Reunion fic of my dreams. I am SO PROUD of this one I have handed it to irl friends! On purpose! My partner got me a physical copy for Xmas 2021!

2. Crying Over Yuuri - a Kyou Kara Maou! fic, which is a fandom I am amazed is still being read. It's a Wolfram POV fic where he, you got it, cries over Yuuri. Pretty fluffy ending. I credit the numbers to the fact that not a lot of fic gets written for KKM anymore so it doesn't disappear under all the new stuff

3. Not Unusual - A ST:AO3 Academy Era McKirk. Bones gets a bunch of clues to something going on with Jim... he gets it a little wrong, Jim freaks out because this man has Issues, but it resolves in the end. I wrote this one as a pinch-hit for an exchange back when I was still RPing Jim Kirk @thewinningscenario

4. 5+1: Are They Or Aren't They? - Somehow my Mystrade (Sherlock BBC) still gets hits with fair regularity and I'll never understand why. It's definitely not my best work but it's cute! 5 times people weren't sure if Mycroft and Lestrade are dating, and the time they know (because they receive a wedding invitation!!)

5. One Flew East, One Flew West - a Killugon Modern AU in which Killua and Gon meet at a Psychiatric Recovery Center, with Kurapika as another patient and Leorio as a therapist. written for HxHBB2020. I'm very fond of this one. It makes me cry <3 I'm so happy there's so much fandom diversity in these! (The next 11 are all either HxH or Sherlock, l o l )

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I wish I could say I did! I mean to! Sometimes I am not in a good place so I mean to do it later and then I forget..... whoof. I am so thankful for each and every review, and I want to repay that!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I wrote a LOT of fics in my teens where people died (not all of them are on A03, it didn't exist at the time. I'm not giving you my ff.net ;) ) Surely, one of them! More recently, I wrote a Dragon Age: Inquisition Lavellan/Dorian in response to Dorian preemptively breaking up with me (rude!) that is Pretty Hecking Angsty. It's tagged "hurt no comfort"

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Closing the Space (Between Us) did so much work to get where it was, and they ended up with Everything! My boys <3 (And Alluka)

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Very rarely! I'm pretty lucky in life that I don't get hate generally. Maybe it's because I'm not Out There enough but- who cares! People are nice and sweet and lovely mostly, and I love writing fanfic for/with them :3

9. Do you write smut?

Sometimes it will appear in other fics. I don't really do PWPs, and smut itself is pretty rare because I don't include it unless it's... necessary? Kinda? Like if the story demands it. I personally only read smut in certain moods, so when smut's included I make it easy to skip, but it certainly exists

10. Do you write crossovers?

It depends! In my Sherlock days I had a Sherlock/Stargate Atlantis crossover series and a Sherlock in the HP universe series, but I haven't done any recently.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! I heard people copy fics over to Wattpad sometimes but I've never looked. I'm not usually in MegaFandoms anyway, so I don't think I'm in any real danger.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

YES!! A few different Sherlock ones! (I guess I was pretty well known in the Mystrade sphere?? IDK that was back on livejournal. Anyone else miss KinkMemes?) I think one got translated to Russian and one to Chinese. Both reached out to me and asked for permission first, which I of course granted! It's very flattering <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Way way way back in my teen years I cowrote a few times- one in YuGiOh and one in Fruits Basket with a high school friend. Recently I am technically cowriting a fic with @spyscrapper atm- I say technically because its really an rp l o l (Star Wars: Jedi Survivor Canon Divergent Spyscrapper, it's pretty hecking cool! And painful! :D ) I once cowrote a fic where the other author just like. eliminated my plotline. so. It's not always good, but it's still fun to try!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I refuse to pick One. Killugon (HxH), McShep (Stargate Atlantis), Seishirou/Subaru (Tokyo Babylon & X/1999) and any combination of McSpirk (Star Trek) have probably had the most long-lasting impact on me. And

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

I often feel like I should finish Pulling The Trigger because it's an interesting casefic and I like the thought of a mystery, but... it's 12 years old at this point, so...

16. What are your writing strengths?

Nature-themed metaphors and descriptions! And I feel like I have pretty strong character points of view! Oh, and angst. I'm good at angst. >:)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Planning 🙃 oops what's that. And I use adverbs too much! (but it's fun so I'll keep doing it)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It depends why! If a fic is from the POV of Character A and Character B is talking in a language they don't understand, for example, it's fine to use it (though please provide a translation for your reader!) The language switch has to be for a specific reason, and if the character understands it the reader should too. (In One Flew, Gon and Killua sometimes swap to Japanese to disguise their conversations from everyone else- I show that by changing their conversation to italics in most cases.) I definitely wrote a fic as a teen that had all Japanese because I was a weeb and... lol don't do that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Yugioh, 2001!! It was probably two paragraphs long hahaha

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Closing the Space (Between Us) for sure! God it's so good. I am begging people to read it. If you're going to read One Thing I have written in my entire life-so-far, please let it be that!!

"Tag 20 people:" that seems like a lot hahaha uuhh @spyscrapper @avtorsola @mmuffncakes @nightingalesighs @etoiline @iwishtocountthestars @unicorncoalition @shalnarkonice @missinkylace @thefledglingdm 10 is a reasonable number. but tbh if you wanna do it, do it, I wanna read ur response!

#ao3 meme #memes #fanfic #i made dis #ask meme

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