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static-fanatic-1 · 4 years ago

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Chrollo +PT Part 2 is finally out! I also figured it a name for the son, Akura. Enjoy! 7.7k words and it almost didn’t fit in the post RIP.

| Part 1 |

~~~

"Eat lead Uvo."

"Already checked off the bucket list (y/n/n)."

God, you hated that nickname. "Don't test me." You growled, glaring back at your little boy with a silent message; 'You're in such deep shit once this is over'. You could see him physically gulp, and it only cemented the fact that despite being a pissy teenager, he was still the same, scared little boy you had taken in after the massacre. You almost teared up.

"Kurapika! Watch the road!" The woman yelped.

The blond swerved off the road, almost knocking you off and onto the dusty path beneath the car. "Kurapika," you began, "watch the road, I'll take care of anyone following us."

You could tell Uvogin wanted to say something, so you quickly dipped out of the passenger window and climbed onto the top of the car. The people in the second car stared at you through the windshield with pure fear in their eyes. You laughed to yourself, they must think you are a Phantom Troupe member. If only they knew.

You stood tall on top of the car roof, spine straight, shoulders back, chin up, you were ready for them to attack. You were ready to fight your old friends. You launched yourself off the roof and onto the second car, landing with your heavy boots and denting the car just as you did before, a little less damage though.

They were chasing you, you could see their forms driving a car with a new found vigor they lacked before. Machi was in front, her pink hair you used to love seemingly a bit darker, like it was drenched in so much blood it stained it darker. You locked eyes with her, and you could see the micro expression of her face. Brows lifting, eyes widening, she couldn't believe it was you. But it was, and you were preparing to take them down.

You flexed your fingers and soaked in the feeling of your terracotta gauntlets, preparing to tear down the entire canyon, but you stopped. A large blanket wrapping around the car they were packed in, though it did little to stop them. You saw them leave before it covered them, it seemed Nobunaga didn't make it in time. You chuckled at that.

Owl, the beast who worked for Jason's father, stood snuggly in front of the Troupe. He and the rest were as good as dead, this you knew, so you took the opportunity and shot out the lion heads on your gauntlets. They snapped as they flew through the crisp night sky and latched onto the sides of the canyon walls. With strength many didn't posses, you pulled harshly onto the chains and pulled down the stone walls. Stone, pieces larger than the car you stood on top of, came crumbling down to the floor, dust flying in the air. Your path was blocked, and hopefully the beasts would distract them long enough for Kurapika and his gang to gain enough distance.

You took a moment to look up, the beautiful night sky full of stars and constellations you couldn't find in the city. The shinning stars reminded you of a time where sitting around a trash fire with the pre-Troupe was normal. It used to be kind, open, and free. Nothing but a blanket of stars above you to lull you to sleep.

And your village, oh how you missed being able to see the night sky as clear as day, untainted by ash and blazing fires. The children playing in the fields and catching fireflies as they tripped on rocks they failed to see. Laughter, warmth, and a sense of homeliness you haven't had in years. You missed it, you craved it, you wanted nothing more than to go back and change something that could have prevented the Kurta massacre.

Your (e/c) orbs soaked in the light of the stars while your hair whipped against your face. As much as you wanted to sit down and cry, letting all the pent up frustration and hatred out, you couldn't show weakness. Not even to the all seeing stars above, or the gentle wind, and especially not to the enemies that will tear you apart.

A ringing knocked you out of your memories, taking you back into a cruel reality you didn't want to partake in. "Yes?" You answered, phone close to your ear as you took one last look at the shinning stars.

It was Jason, his sweet voice filled with worry. "We sent Owl and the rest of the Beasts. What happened?"

You hummed in thought. "A few men caught one of the Troupe members, the most physically powerful. We are on our way back to York New, I would prepare a safe place to store him, if the poison from his body is taken, we are screwed."

"Is he one of the ones you could take down?"

"No, we got lucky. We have to be cautious about this one." You turned back to York New, the shinning city moving closer and closer. "About the Beasts... they are probably all dead by now. The man we are bringing in killed four of them I think, the rest are slowing down about five other members, they don't stand a chance."

"Shit," he breathed through the phone, distant mumbling being heard but nothing being deciphered, "what do you think will happen now?"

"I'm not sure, but the Troupe won't let one of their own be taken like this. They'll be back I'm sure."

"Okay, I trust your judgement. Take care." Jason hung up before you could say anything more.

You hoped nothing bad would happen to him. He was a nice guy.

Soon enough you finally decided to sit down on the roof of the car, the city skyscrapers finally looming above and warning you of the upcoming confrontation you will have to partake in. Uvogin would be a difficult one to deal with, he tended to boast with his headstrong attitude and you were worried about him escaping. And Kurapika... what were you going to do with the boy?

You sighed, the car quickly coming to a stop. Finally, the people under your butt, rushed from inside the car and stared you down. "Who-Who are you?!" Questioned one panicked man, his skin a sun kissed brown and eyes as rich as chocolate.

"A friend." You hopped off the car and in front of the small group. "I am a friend of Kurapika, don't worry, I'm not a Troupe member."

They all seemed to relax a bit, but stayed wary of your strength. Being next to you they could tell you were way beyond their league.

Kurapika emerged from the car and readied himself to contain the one-man-army. One man, with gray hair and markings along his cheeks, scurried over and held the blond back. "Wait, we need to get a room."

"A friend of mine already has one for us, you are to contact your boss and inform him of the situation at hand." You mentioned. "This, surprisingly enough, is the place."

"How can we trust you?" He exclaimed, turning and leaning forward in your face. "You could be one of them! Waiting to kill us!"

"Everybody, please calm down-" began the woman standing beside Kurapika.

"My employer is the son of one of the Ten Dons, Jason Nargal. I contacted him about the situation and I've been staying in touch. Frankly I'm not in the mood to argue with someone of the likes of you, so please, shut your damn mouth before I loose what's left of my temper." You snapped, moving closer to size the man in front of you.

He shrunk back, eyes wide with a fear he has never felt before. "Very well." He turned his attention to Kurapika and the other girl with heavy breathing. "Let's hurry."

~~~

You sat down, your eyes staring at the wall as your mind drifted off. You were worried, pissed, scared, and so much more. Footsteps brought you back to reality, your (e/c) eyes taking in the grey haired man from before. He glanced back before quickly looking away. "You aren't going to interrogate the Troupe member?" He asked.

"No, I have no reason to talk to him, at least not in front of any of you."

He hummed and moved to the desk, taking the phone into his hand and making a call. Time passed before Kurapika and the others emerged from the vaulted room, and your fury returned.

Kurapika could feel it.

"Kurapika, I would like to talk to you. Privately."

He glared at you, his dark eyes gleaming slightly under his contacts, like charcoal in a slow-roasting flame. Was he challenging you? Silently threatening you to let him finish the war he began?

Maybe, but that didn't matter to you. All you wanted was to talk to him about the situation. And the newfound plan you guys would have to make.

Maybe he sensed the lack of hostility you bore. It must have been as he nodded slowly and followed you out into the white hallways. "(Y/n)," he began with caution, "I won't stop. I'm going to finish what I started and you can't do anything about it."

You bit your lip and whipped around, smacking him across his face. "I know that! But warn me next time! I had to leave Akura all alone in a hotel room because you were the only person I could trust! You were reckless when engaging close to so many Troupe members! You could have died if they caught you!" You paused for some breath. "You could have killed everyone!"

Tears began streaming down your cheeks, you hands rubbing your face to help relieve the stress. It didn't help as much as you would have liked it to. "You left Akura alone." You repeated with defeat in your voice. "If they find out where he is... they'll take him from me. I-I can't let-let them take both of you from me."

Finally all the pent up feelings burst through your eyes, fat tears streaming silently down your cheeks. "I ju-just can't. I wouldn't be able-able to live with myself if...."

Kurapika stood frozen, all this new information hitting him at the same time as your cries for help made it all the more confusing. "(Y/n)... it'll be okay." He held you up by your shoulders, leaning down to stare into your tears eyes. "Akura will be okay, you'll be okay, I'll be okay. You and I will take down the Phantom Troupe and we won't have to worry about them anymore."

He stopped for a moment to think about your words. They seemed exact, different than just someone hunting for their eyes. What did you mean by your son would be taken away from you if they knew where he was? Wait, how did you know the name of the Troupe member? And how did he know an old nickname you used to have? "(Y/n). What are you not telling me?"

There was a deafening silence between the two bodies, but enough was said. "Kurapika-"

"Don't lie to me. You know something I don't." A pregnant pause was apparent. "Answer me (y/n), I don't have time to watch you cry."

You looked up, staring into violent eyes gleaming a beautiful blood red. "I'm sorry." You wailed, pulling yourself back into the wall with your hands covering your face. "I'm sorry I never wanted this to happen. I wanted you to run away from this, to have a family, to be happy! I never wanted you to fight my mistakes. I never meant for this to happen.

"I promised myself I would take care of them, I promised myself I would give you the best life you could hope for. I-I promised myself... and-and I failed." You shook your head with your hands hiding your shame, your voice cracking with messy sobs. "I'm sorry for bringing you into this, Kurapika. This wasn't meant to happen...."

He took a step back, you were crying—no—sobbing. Hiccups and sniffles wracked from your hidden face. This has never happened before. You never cried, not even once. He only saw one tear and that was when you found him at the burnt down village.

You were not sad, you were beyond devastated.

"(Y-y/n)... d-don't cry. Just tell me what you know. How did you know his name? How did he know you?"

"I knew them, I met them when I left the village. I would visit. I-I taught them nen because they were struggling out there. I didn't mean for them to attack us, but they did and I tried to stop them, but I was pregnant and-and I killed one. I ran because there was too many. I was selfish, I-I should have fought. I was scared and...." Your strained voice trailed off into a distant whimper.

Kurapika stared at your shriveled form, a look of betrayal etched onto his brows. "You won't stop me. I'm going to kill every single one of them for what they've done and you are going to watch." He stopped his retreat, turning his head to give you one last glance. "I'll take care of everything."

"Kurapika, it's not worth it. Please just leave this to me, let me fix my mistakes! Take Akura and go somewhere safe! Please!"

"Why should I?! You've kept so much from me! You knew them?! You trained them!?! Why should I listen to you— do what you want me to?!"

"They want me! They'll take Akura and kill you! If you're in their way you'll die! I don't want that to happen! Please! Take Akura and get out of here! Let me take care of this so you guys can be safe and happy!

"Let me fix my mistakes... please!"

Kurapika whipped around. "Why would they be after you? Akura?"

You dropped your head in shame, but straightened your back. It was time to regain your lost composure, you couldn't let anyone else see you like this. "The spider is flexible. They-they have a head and legs. Each one can be easily replaced, that is how they work. Their current leader, the spider's head, is-is Akura's father. We-we got along, and-and one thing lead to another and... well, Akura was brought into the world. I tried to hide him, but with him being alone it wouldn't be difficult for them to find him. God, I don't know what I would do if they got their hands on him."

You pathetically gave an airy laugh at your memories. When you gave birth it was loud, like static in your ears, painful, though you barely remember it. Then you heard the beautiful sound of a babies cries. You were beyond happy when you heard his first cries, and it seemed as if all of your problems drifted away for a moment.

But like everything in your life it was short lived, and when you stared up at Kurapika you forced yourself to gather the remaining pieces of your strength and move forward. That is what you had to do, again and again.

"I'm sorry Kurapika, I've failed everyone."

The blond stared at you with bloody eyes, it was your fault? Everything that happened was your fault?! You were supposed to be a guardian, someone to protect the clan, yet you killed everyone?!

"Yeah, you did." He spat, his back now facing you.

"Wait! Kurapika! I-I don't care what happens me! Just please—please take care of Akura!" Your voice was demanding, the first time it had been since you broke down. "He doesn't deserve the life he has, neither do you, please, if anything happens to me, take care of him."

He didn't answer, instead he turned away and marched back to Uvogin's cell.

You prepared yourself for being in front of the wolves, but a ringing from your phone stopped you. "Hello?"

"(Y/n), father wants you to come back, be a body guard since the beasts—are you okay? You seem to be breathing heavily?"

"Don't worry, I'm fine. Just a bit frustrated." You have a long sigh and straightened your back. "Everything seems to be on lockdown over here, they have men coming over in a few minutes. Where do you want me to meet you?"

"Is the Blue Sapphire Hotel good? I can have someone pick you up?"

"No, no, that's not necessary. I'll be there soon."

"Alright, I'll wait in the lobby for you. See you soon."

He hung up and left you to your own devices. You finished fixing yourself up and sauntered over to the last person here, the man with markings under his eyes. "I'm leaving," you started, "my employer wants me to guard them now that the beasts are dead. You'll be fine here right?"

He looked up and nodded. "I'm waiting for another call."

"Alright, call me when they take him and what they look like... just in case." You made sure he understood with another nod before you made your way out of the hotel.

Your dress was slightly dirty, and your feet still bare. You probably looked strange, a woman with disheveled hair, missing shoes, and a dirty formal dress. You received many stares, some because of your intimidating stature, or your exposed cleavage, and some because of your appearance. So you ignored them and kept your head high.

But if you didn't ignore the stares you would have noticed the small group staring at you longer than most. Their suits and wigs might have hidden them from most people, but you would have noticed them right away. Phinks and Nobunaga turned to confront you, but Machi held them back. "Now's not the time, we'll get her after Uvo."

"Tch, fine. Isn't Shal looking into her employer?"

"Mhm." Machi hummed, continuing to their mission at hand; saving Uvogin's reckless ass.

~~~

Uvogin waited for what seemed like a god awful amount of time. Sooner or later they would get him out of this stupid prison. Hopefully sooner rather than later, his ass was beginning to hurt.

As if on que he heard movement, blood splatter, and the creaking of the heavy metal door. "Took you long enough, I'd thought you'd never make it."

Phinks entered with a grin. "Yeah, yeah, had to stop by the vending machine on our way up here."

Uvogin's grin stretched across his face as the rest of them entered and tossed away their disguises. "You wouldn't believe who I met." He chuckled.

Shizuku, with her doe like eyes wondered over to his wound, summoning her Blinky and preparing to take out the venom from his veins. But it was Nobu who spoke up. "(Y/n)." He exclaimed immediately, almost excitedly.

Uvo's grin turned into a playful pout. "Way to ruin it Nobu."

She simply shrugged and began to remove the poison, as Nubonaga laughed.

Machi 'tsk'ed and moved over to the table's side. "You should hurry up and get out of those cuffs. We're going back to the chapel to figure out a new plan."

Uvo huffed and tore his hands from their bindings. "Fiiiiiine." He groaned, pausing when realizing her words. "A new plan?"

"Yup, Feitan tortured that Owl guy so we already have some of the treasure. Besides, (y/n) could be a problem." Phinks chimed in with a mischievous grin. "You now she's much stronger than before right? You can tell just by passing her."

"Maybe she made a new condition with her nen gauntlets?" Nobunaga chimed in. "Do you think she would do that?"

Phinks hummed. "She never liked the thought of making conditions. She probably just trained to get more powerful, that's more her style."

"Anyway, we should hurry and head out, Chrollo is waiting."

~~~

You marched into the lobby, the crystal chandelier above drenching your body in a warm, ethereal glow. The pearl earrings you wore gleamed like small balls of Fire against the light, it complemented your (h/c) hair.

Jason saw your confident form, his thin lips stretching across his face into a gentle smile. "(Y/n)! I'm glad to see you're alright!" His long legs helped him scale the lobby floor to face you. "We are on the top floor, follow me."

"Who is up there?"

"Everyone from the dinner, they have a lot of questions for you, so be prepared." He lightly chuckled, though it seemed a bit strained.

The both of you entered an elevator with a large mirror on one of the walls. You took out your phone and frowned, still nothing from that grey haired man from earlier, were the people really late? Your mind drifted back to Kurapika, your brows furrowing at his resolution about killing the Troupe.

"You look distracted." Jason commented, his voice heavy with concern.

"Sorry, I just have to make a few calls."

"Oh, with who?"

You glanced over at him with a sly grin. He blushed at it, realizing how nosy he must sound. "Sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"It's fine, I just need to check up on a few people. My son for sure, I need to make sure he's okay."

"Y-you have a son?" His words were confused and surprised. "I-uh-I didn't know you-you had a son. Um, how old is he?" His smile was lopsided, and nervous. He hoped you didn't think he judged you off of your past relationships.

"He's six, going seven later this month. The twenty-third."

"He sounds like a nice kid, huh?"

You lightly chuckled at the thought of his intellectual nature. "Yeah, he really is a sweet kid. He's so smart too, loves puzzles more than anything. Words searches, sudoko, picture puzzles, he loves any and all of them. Loves reading too, his favorite is Father and I...."

"The father?" Jason inquired.

"Oh, he's out of the picture. He's—he wasn't a nice man."

Jason turned back to the mirror, his eyes tracing over your relaxed features. "I'm sorry to hear that. How is, uh, your son fairing?"

"Akura's his name. He never knew his father, it's just been me and a friend I see as a little brother." The elevator stopped, and it's shiny doors opened to a brightly lit hallway. "I guess we're here."

"Yup, there's plenty of rooms to make a call, but you should probably answer some of my dad's questions first. You might not believe it, but he can be quite impatient." His tone shifted to something brighter, a reflection of the whites of his eyes.

You entered the warm hallway and to the door. Before you could even touch the door knob, it swung open to reveal a cheeky grin from a familiar green eyed man. "Hey there sexy," His cheshire grin shifted to one of disgust when he glanced at his brother. "Jason."

"Jackson! Leave them alone." Exclaimed someone from behind the door. If the deep voice was an indicator, it was defiantly the dad.

"Sure thing." Jackson groaned and ran off into the giant hotel room. Well, more like a house, the place was huge!

"(Y/n), sweetheart, come in!"

Sweetheart? Did Jason's dad just call you sweetheart? You peeked behind the door and yes, it must've been the father as his smile was barely covered by his beard. He was sitting next to Manchile, in which looked extremely entertained with your expression.

"Well, come on in." The broad man giggled as he threw his arms over the back of the couch.

You glanced over to Jason, a deep blush spread across his tanned cheeks. "Sorry about that." He whispered and further apologized through his hazel eyes. "He might be going crazy."

"Well, (y/n), we have a few questions to ask if you don't mind." Manchile began. "Like what the hell happened out there?"

You fully entered the room and sat on one of the plush chairs off to the side. "There isn't much to say, by the time I got there most of the men deployed her already dead."

"How many Troupe members? You said seven right? Or was it five?"

You crossed your legs as Jason sat across from you, his green eyes shinning with curiosity. You paused and counted, there was Franklin, Uvo, Machi, Shizuku, Nobu, Phinks, and Feitan. "There were seven, one was caught, and five chased after us. After that the group I was with got away because of the beasts... and now we are here."

"Did the Troupe member say anything?"

"No, he was admit on keeping his mouth shut." You glanced down at your hands, the phone you bought earlier this week blank. Where was that call? "May I make a call?" You blurted. "It has to do with the captured Troupe member."

Jason's dad shrugged and waved his hand. "Go ahead, put it on speaker so we can listen in." You nodded and made the call. It rang. And rang. And rang. And stopped.

You looked at the number you typed, it was correct so why didn't he answer? The entire room was dead silent, so you tried again.And again. And again.

Each missed call brought a disgusting taste to your tongue. Everyone must have been able to taste it, there was a collective shaky breath between everyone in the room.

"So, what do you think happened?" Jared, Jason's younger brother, asked. "Why aren't they calling?"

You stayed silent for a moment, doing your damndest to make up an excuse, but that wouldn't do any good. "He-He's probably dead. They probably found Uvogin and saved him."

"Uvogin?"

"The Phantom Troupe member we caught." You quickly said.

Manchile sighed and fiddled with his shiny watch. "All the beasts are dead, the treasure was taken, and we lost one of our leads. This night has truly gone to shit."

The father hummed and leaned back in his chair. "We can't leave, it would make us look like cowards."

You glanced over at the two and closed your eyes for a moment to breathe. "I need to make some other calls, is there a room I can step into?"

Jason stood up this time with a nod, and motioned to a room off to the right.

"Thank you." You stepped in, shut the door, and locked it. You let out a shaky sigh, your mind running a mile a minute at the thought of Uvogin being saved. "Akura first, I need to check up of him."

The phone rang a deathly chime, but it was picked up unlike before. "Momma?"

"Hey sweetheart, how are you?"

There was a displeased hum on the other side. "I was asleep, it's almost two a.m Momma. You should be asleep too!" Your little boy seemed too excited to have been sleeping, but knowing him he followed your rules.

"I know, I know. I've just been busy with work that's all...."

Jackson listened through the white door, his head pressed firmly against the wood so he could get a good angle. He chuckled to himself, his youngest brother, Jared, leaning in with a scowl. "We shouldn't be doing this."

Jason scoffed. "We have nothing else better to do, besides we are just helping Jason get his lady. Nothing too bad."

They listened harder through the door, and through the muffled speech they could clearly hear the word sweetheart again. Jared glanced up at his older brother whose face was confronted into a suppressed laugh. Quietly they moved away, and back to the seats before Jason came back with bottles of champagnes and wines.

He almost knew by the look on their faces that his younger brothers were up to something. "What are you doing?" He whisper yelled to them, eyes sharp with suspicion.

"Your girl has a boyfriend." He said, point to the door with an evil grin. "You have never had a chance."

Jason glared at his brothers, glanced at his father, and back to his brothers. "It's rude to listen in on other people's calls!" He snapped again, pouting his lips.

"Just saying."

"It was Jason's idea." Jared quickly commented.

"Hey! You didn't stop me, you're at fault here!"

"No!"

"Boys." The dad stated, bringing them to a stop. "Calm down, it was just useless fun."

"Why am I the only responsible one here?" Jason exclaimed, grabbing a small glass and pouring himself some red wine. "I remember when you used to control these rats, dad, now you've become one of them."

"Dirty old rat to you, squirt." He snapped, petting his beard with his free hand. "Dirty old rat king is more accurate, though."

"King?" Jackson yelped. "Yeah right, you're more like a squabbling peasant, dad."

"And you're a filthy stable worker, shoveling manure and getting the shit kicked out of you by my horses!" The father straightened his back, earning an eye roll from his eldest son. "And I'm no peasant! I'm a king!"

"Then at the very least I'm a knight." Chimed Jason, finally loosing up and getting into the skit. "Fighting the mighty dragon and saving the princess."

Jackson snickered. "But the princess is already betrothed off to another it seems."

Jason stopped and glared at his brother's antics. "She doesn't-she never said she had a boyfriend. She's just talking to her son probably." He huffed and pouted, sitting on one of the love seats and crossing his right leg over the other. "She said she had a friend too, but she thinks of him as a little brother."

"She has a son?" Manchile asked, he was listening in on the conversation the entire time for shits and giggles, if he was a rat he would defiantly be an emperor, he thought.

Jason nodded and took a small sip of his blood red wine. "Yup, sounds sweet too. She really care about him. I think his name is Akura if I'm not mistaken."

"That's a cute name." Butted in the Dad, pouring himself some sparkling champagne. "Sounds almost Kurtish, don't you think Manchile?"

He hummed. "Almost? Not quiet sure, there's a lot of strange names out there."

"Guess so."

All eyes stared at the opening door, your figure drenched in the warm lighting of the room and your sleek black dress hugging your curves like a glove. You still haven't gotten your shoes back on, and instead wondered around without any protection. Maybe you just forgot about it? Maybe you simply didn't care, either way when you walked into the room it quieted down.

"Welcome back." Jackson teased. "You have a son huh? Who's the lucky guy?"

You visibly stiffened and eyed the men in the room. Did they know? No, they couldn't know. There's no way they know, right? "There-"

"Behave yourself Jackson, prying into other people's lives is rude." The father scolded. "Don't pay any mind to him, sweetheart, he never knows when to shut his trap."

"No, it's-its fine. There is no lucky guy, he's long gone by now."

The dad gave a gentle smile. "My wife died a long time ago, I know how it feels." He lightly laughed, though a deep sorrow hung heavy in the air. "I had to take care of these brats on my own for what? Fifteen years maybe?"

"I'm sorry for your loss." You empathized with him, a single parent taking care of their kids is something you knew all too well. Loosing someone you loved, was also something you understood. The difference is you hated the person you loved, and you wanted to move on after you served judgement. You doubted he wanted the same thing. "It's hard taking care of a kid on your own, but three? And one of them being Jackson, I'd go insane."

He laughed, Jackson giving a playful glare. "Damn straight. He's the worst."

Jackson moved closer with a hurt expression. "Seriously? Throwing me under the bus in front of a pretty girl?"

"You're not her type!" Argued Manchile with a booming laugh. "There's no way!"

"Oh come on, I'm everyone's type!" He shuffled to your side and threw his arm over your shoulders. "More so than lover boy over there, eh?"

You couldn't help but smile, oddly enough this group of mafia men felt like family. This was always your problem, you always wanted to trust and care for people, but it always ended poorly. If you started to care for these people, you would loos them just like your past family.

But you couldn't help your nature, so you gave a small chuckle and shook your head. "No way. Defiantly not my type."

He whined and put his weight on you, surprised when you held him up like the child he was acting like. "Come on! I'm lonely and I need a girlfriend!"

Jared scoffed. "You're the one who sleeps with so many women you could be the next Genghis Kahn!"

Jackson blushed and let you go. "That sounds horrible."

"Yeah, it is." Jared finalized, sitting down and propping his gin up with his hand. "Besides, I think Jason called dibs."

Jason's face flushed a deep red when you glanced at him and his eyes flashed with embarrassment. He opened his mouth and quickly shut it.

His family laughed at him. "He's embarrassed! Poor boy has fallen hard if he can't admit it!" Cackled the father. "Interested?"

You rolled your eyes with a sly grin. "That wouldn't be wise, I have a lot of enemies you wouldn't want to deal with."

"Enemies? We're part of the mafia, the top of the mafia at that! We can make sure no one will touch you or your son." The dad mentioned, seems he's taken a real liking to you, and when you glanced at Jason, you could see a glint in his eyes. "Seriously, nothing could hurt you."

"You'd be surprised, money and guns are useless against some people."

Manchile decided to speak up. "Like that Uvogin guy? I sent out a lot of my men to take him down, and even more guns, but now they are dead. Are your enemies like him?"

The dad cocked his head to the side, his smile sinking into a slight frown. "Is the Troupe your enemies?"

You tended up, and their eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry?"

"You mentioned before that our best is nothing compared to them, and every time you talk about them there seems to be familiarity in your voice." He leaned forward on his chair, discarding his now empty glass to the side table. "You said you were hunting them down, and your son's name, sounds Kurtish to me. By any chance, are you a Kurta?"

You stayed silent, there was no way you gave him that many hints... right? Did you get so comfortable that they figured it out? Will they kill you? Use you as bait? Your son? "That doesn't matter."

"It does, it means you are probably being hunted. It means you are extremely valuable, your son too if he has your genetics. Besides, if you have information about the Troupe that no one else knows about, your value just increased immensely." He stood up and straightened his open suit jacket. "It's a hobby of mine to research and figure out the value of things, an appraiser if you will. Kurta eyes are an interesting story no doubt, gouged out by the Troupe and resold around the world." He sauntered closer, his bulky form and commanding tone making you feel so small. "What do you want me to with this information?"

"Leave it six feet under where it belongs." You gritted your teeth and took in a deep breath.

"I can arrange that for a price." He paused and you nodded for him to continue. "I want you to tell me what happened, I'm more curious than I am greedy."

You gave a small laugh and crossed your arms against your chest. Your focus shifted to another as you recounted things you wished to forget. "You wouldn't want to hear it."

The dad stared down at you and placed a heavy hand on your shoulder. When you looked into his eyes you saw a stern, yet sympathetic expression. His beard shifted, and his lips curled into a small smile. "Humor me."

You shouldn't trust them as much as you do, but you missed having friends. You missed people... so you spoke forbidden memories. "The Kurta lived on an island away from others, we are usually feared because of our eyes, so we isolated ourselves." You sat down beside Jason and leaned onto your knees. "My father was the leader of the village, and when I took my exam I passed with flying colors."

"Exam?" Jared interrupted.

"Yes, it's something us Kurta's do to get ready for the outside world. I mentioned how people fear our eyes, so the exam is a written test about other places, and a physical type exam. We would leave the village and do a simple task, if we feel strong emotions our eyes would turn red, if it happened once you would fail and have to take it again. It is for safety."

You watched him nod and continued. "I was always good at keeping myself together so when I took the position of guardian, it seemed appropriate that I could leave the village and explore the world. I trained and learned from many people before finding the Troupe... I took pity on them."

You leaned back and sighed. "I taught them nen and befriended them. Years and years of jumping around from my village and the outside world and I found myself falling for one of them."

"Wait," Manchile stopped you. "are you implying your son, Akura, is one of theirs?"

"Their leader... we got close." You let the new information sink in. "They didn't know, I was barely seven weeks pregnant at the time of the attack. My village, my family, slaughtered like lambs. I killed one and ran away. I was terrified and didn't know what else to do.

"I don't know why they did it, but it happened and I've been on the run since. Akura doesn't know, I'm lucky he's never questioned it, but I'm running out of time. If I don't start taking them down I'm worried Akura won't be safe anymore."

"Are they searching for him?" Manchile asked.

"They don't know he exists, but they are crafty."

"Where is he?" The Dad now asked, his brows furrowed in thought.

"A friend was supposed to watch him, he's one of the only people I can trust... but he left to fight the Troupe. Akura is alone in a hotel room not too far from here."

"What do you think we should do?"

"I don't know, whatever you do be careful. I'm not going to stop now either. I'm not quiet sure if you can, but assassins might be your only bet."

Jason worriedly glanced at you, looking for your gaze to share a thought. "Are you okay?" He whispered, you nodded without looking at him.

The dad stepped closer. "What kind of assassins?"

You hummed, Meteor City assassins might be the best. They have similar upbringings so maybe they can garner sympathy? Probably not, but maybe they'll stand a chance. "Assassins from Meteor City are probably your best bet but.... you might need the best of the best if you can afford it."

"You don't mean—?"

You interrupted him with a nod. "They might be strong enough to take some of them out."

Jared yelped and stood up. "Might?! They're the fucking Zoldycks! They can kill anyone!"

"Just to be safe, I genuinely think they are the only ones who stands a chance."

Jason turned back to you with a questioning look. "And you? You can't go out there and fight them! You have a son to take care of!"

Now it was your time to stand, back straight, gaze stern, a look you've dressed yourself in on the regular. "More reason for me to go. I'll meet up with my friend and join you for the next auction. I suggest you stay away from the other mafia dons, if you hire the Zoldycks you can never be too careful."

"Are you sure?"

You nodded with conviction. "Yes... and I'm joining the hunt."

~~~

Chrollo sat down on a large pile of rubble in a broken down church. The moonlight sleeping through the crumbled down ceiling illuminated his pale features and framed his coal black eyes. In his calloused and used hands laid a book that stole his undivided attention, and to his side a small candle with a flickering light.

His ears picked up distant voices, though he didn't care enough to look up. Instead he listened in as the voices neared the building.

"Uvo!" Chimed Shalnark, waving as he covered his playing cards. "How was prison?"

The large man grumbled under his breath and placed his hands on his hips, the few beer cans he had falling to the floor. "Shut it, besides I need you help finding someone."

The blond hummed in question. "Sure."

Pakunoda stopped messing with her nails and stood up. "What happened?" She asked, glancing at the group.

Phinks spoke up before the others could. "(Y/n)'s here. She must be working alongside the mafia."

Shizuku sighed loudly and sat down on a rock. "Who is (y/n) anyway?"

Nobunaga clicked his tongue with a defeated sigh. "We told you on the way here!"

"No you didn't."

"Yes, we did!"

"No you didn't!"

Franklin butted in. "It's not worth it."

Feitan explained. "(Y/n) is Chrollo's old girlfriend."

"Huh?" Exclaimed Shizuku, her doe like eyes gleaming. "You have a girlfriend Boss?"

Chrollo finally decided it was time to look up from the word filled pages of his book. He gave her a smile. "I had one, she ran after the Kurta massacre."

Phinks returned to the conversation. "If she's working with the mafia, she might be a hunter. Shal, you are a hunter right?"

"Yup!" He happily chirped, pulling out his phone and typing away. Uvogin moved over to him and mumbled a few words. Some time passed before Shal exclaimed loudly.

Chrollo glanced at his expectingly, and everyone seemed to hold their breath. "Oh! She's a hunter, and her employer is one of the sons of a don. I was curious so I decided to look into her call history, you know for science, and you wouldn't believe what I found." He paused for dramatic effect. "She made a call to someone in a hotel, not an employer, but a kid!"

"A kid?" Nobu wondered, scathing his mustache with his index finger. He paused, finally realizing what a kid would be doing with a hunter. "Boss, did you and (y/n) ever... uh... you know?"

Chrollo smiled at the thought of you, and he finally closed his book and stood from the rubble. He sauntered over to the entrance of the church, the moonlight bathing him in an ethereal glow. A few minutes passed as he stared at the moon, waiting for Shalnark to give him the location. His other plans could wait, he wanted to meet the kid on the other side of the phone. If that kid is your own, which it seemed likely, he could use it to get you back and keep you with his permanently.

"Found it! Somewhere in the Marina Hotel... the call was sent to room 443 on the fifth floor, west wing."

"Shal, Machi, Paku, I want you to come with me. We are going to collect what is mine." His dark eyes held conviction, and nothing would stop him from getting what is his.

#yandere hunter x hunter #yandere hxh #yandere phantom troupe #yandere hunter x hunter x reader #yandere chrollo x reader #Yandere chrollo #Yandere platonic Phantom Troupe #Chrollo x reader #kurapika #Chrollo #Uvogin #Pakunoda #Nobunaga #Phinks #franklin #Feitan #Shizuku #Shalnark

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destielwarmsthecocklesofmyheart · 4 years ago

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Destiel Rewatch

Day 16 On the Head of a Pin

Yay!!!! Honest to God Destiel content!!! Still more Cas sided than Dean but it’s early.

Okie dokie. There’s a lot in this episode that I love. Soooooo let’s get started!!!

I just have to say that I love this shot of the first angel death we see. The first time I saw that I thought it was such a cool effect. I think the way they decided to portray angel wings on this show was one of the really good decisions that were made

Yay, Destiel!!! Of course the classic line here. Cas’s superiors saw he was starting to have feelings for Dean and KNEW this would lead to doubt and disobedience.

I also love Dean’s reaction here. Just like Dean to take a minute to really let the words sink in. And I love Jensen and all his micro expressions in this episode ah! I really don’t think Dean thought Cas was expressing romantic feelings here cuz as we’ve already established Dean wasn’t sure that angels could even feel romantic love. I’m also not even sure if Cas knows what he’s feeling but it’s definitely love for Dean lol

I also love this little exchange right here. It just shows how much Cas has really come to care for Dean. He knows what he did in Hell and he knows what asking him to do this would mean. He DOESNT want to do that to him but he thinks he has no choice. And you can see that with every sound Alastair makes, Cas is being tortured as well knowing that Dean is sinking back into the hole he clawed his way out of.

And bravo Jensen for your acting skills!!!! The tears welling, the hint of a snarl, the gulp.... just like everything else he does in this episode, it’s just superb.

This is why I think Cas doesn’t even know what he’s feeling. He just knows that he doesn’t want Dean to hurt, he doesn’t know what to think about his purpose, and he’s starting to doubt God/his superiors. Misha also has A+ acting skills, bravo to the husbands

Okay... this right here. I could watch these two gifs ALL. DAY. I love Jensen so fucking much. In the first gif you can just SEE THE FUCKING PANIC. He’s learning for the first time that he broke the first seal; the seal that HAD to break before any others could be broken. He’s learning that HE ALONE jump started the apocalypse. And to top it all off, he’s also just learned that his dear old daddy was supposed to do it but he never gave in ouch but also fuck John Winchester

Okay, side note regarding this part. When things like this are said in the series about God and God’s plan it just makes me so angry thinking about how God ends up being a dick. And I feel like we never really explored the impact that had on Cas. Maybe I’m just not remembering a key moment or something cuz let’s me honest it’s been a WHILE since I’ve seen all these episodes but I just feel like we kinda missed that opportunity?

Omg and then this...... poor fucking Dean. I can’t. There’s so much self-hatred in this man. And every time I see Dean hating himself and hurting and suffering, I get pissed and bitter about the fucking finale all over again. DEAN DESERVED A SOFT ENDING!!!!

Anyways....... reblog away!!!

UNTIL NEXT TIME!

#destiel #cockles #castiel #castiel loves dean winchester #dean is bi #dean loves him back #dean winchester #deancas #jenmish #they silenced you #destiel rewatch #on the head of a pin #fuck john winchester #jensen ackles #misha collins

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renegadewangs · 3 years ago

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Van Zieks - the Examination, part 5

Warnings: SPOILERS for The Great Ace Attorney: Chronicles. Additional warning for racist sentiments uttered by fictional characters (and screencaps to show these sentiments).

Disclaimer: (see Part 1 for the more detailed disclaimer.) - These posts are not meant to be taken as fact. Everything I’m outlining stems from my own views and experiences. If you believe that I’ve missed or misinterpreted something, please let me know so I can edit the post accordingly. -The purpose of these posts is an analysis, nothing more. Please do not come into these posts expecting me to either defend Barok van Zieks from haters, nor expecting me to encourage the hatred. - I’m using the Western release of The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles for these posts, but may refer to the original Japanese dialogue of Dai Gyakuten Saiban if needed to compare what’s said. This also means I’m using the localized names and localized romanization of the names to stay consistent. -It doesn’t matter one bit to me whether you like Barok van Zieks or dislike him. However, I will ask that everyone who comments refrains from attacking real, actual people.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

It’s time to return to the first game for case 5, The Unspeakable Story!

Episode 5: The Unspeakable Story – Part 1

Prepare yourselves, this is a big one! So big, even, that I'm going to have to split it into two parts. Fortunately, we can skip over the entire Investigation segment, because virtually none of it is relevant to Van Zieks. In fact, we don't even learn Van Zieks is the prosecutor until we enter the courtroom and see him standing there. Somehow, no one thought to ask who Ryu would be facing. What we do learn during the Investigation is confirmation that McGilded was indeed a lying scumbag who murdered Thrice-fired Mason. He asked Gina to lie for him in a court of law, too. So indeed, Ryu backed the wrong horse in The Runaway Room and Van Zieks was right to suspect the defense of deceit. He was wrong in how he worded half his arguments, though.

An extra thing worth noting is that after the conversation in which the blood is found on Gina's coat and the truth of McGilded comes out, it's revealed that Gregson was hiding nearby in the shadows. He insists he didn't eavesdrop and only just walked in, but it's implied much later in the trial that he knew about the blood on the coat. This means that Gregson is, from this point on, holding the full knowledge that McGilded was McGuilty in the omnibus murder.

So into the courtroom we go, where it is shown we're facing Van Zieks. (And nobody is surprised, because who else would it have been? Auchi?) It is now two months after the Runaway Room and the two Clouded Kokoro cases, so immediately upon starting the trial, the judge basically asks Van Zieks whether he's gone insane- in his own words, that is. First he asks how many years it's been since Van Zieks retired, to which Van Zieks replies that it's been five. The judge notes that Van Zieks resurfaced rather suddenly two months ago, (then basically handled three cases in a single week,) and showed up again today.

HAH. I love how on the nose this judge is when it comes to dissing the prosecution. He goes on to state that Van Zieks used to deal exclusively in matters concerned with 'the highest echelons of society and government', yet today he's trying 'a simple case of burglary and murder'. We already learned this from Gregson in case 1-4, but it's nice to have it repeated again.

Van Zieks replies that there's two things he cannot abide: “Wealthy scoundrels who hide behind a mask of philanthropy-” (hi McGilded!) and... “Secondly- even more loathsome... Those wily scoundrels who masquerade as allies only to effect total betrayal in the final hour.”

So that settles it then. He's specifically taken on his three most recent cases because there were Japanese people involved. He's also outright admitting that which Ryu had already guessed: Van Zieks hates Japanese people and going by his wording (“betrayal”, etc.) he has some bad experiences. Ryu wonders whether that 'torrid look of hatred' in Van Zieks's eyes is directed at him or at all Japanese people. Frankly, I think that in a subconscious sense, it's neither. The way I see it, that torrid look of hatred is directed at a man who died ten years ago. But I'll get back to this when it's time to address the backstory. The judge finds that an “alarmingly scathing explanation”, but welcomes the Reaper of the Bailey back to court all the same.

I love the implication that Van Zieks can apparently just come and go as he pleases in terms of prosecuting. Retirement can just be upturned on a whim and he's allowed to choose any case he wants. Who even is keeping him informed on which cases are happening and who the defense is? Is there a Chief Prosecutor in play we don't know about or is Stronghart slipping notes into his letterbox? Or has Van Zieks been entering the prosecutor's office every day for the past two months, demanding to hear news of 'that Nipponese attorney'?

So anyway, Van Zieks lays out the opening statement, pours himself a glass of wine, accuses Ryu of jumping to conclusions and reveals that he has witnesses. Remember when he threw aside his cloak halfway into 1-3 and it was seen as a big deal? … Yeah. It's not much anymore, now. He gets rid of it before the first witnesses have even taken the stand. The guys called forth are literal criminals who happened to break into the scene of the crime and, according to Van Zieks, “will face trial in the very near future” for their “various trespasses”. Alright, so he's acknowledging he's called forth some sketchy witnesses, but considers the murder itself far more sinister than their burglary.

Ryu manages to prove the taller Skulkin brother fired a gun at the crime scene and in doing so, struck poor innocent (S)Holmes. (Ryu presents a picture of a blood-stained calendar with a bullet in it to prove this, yet ten minutes later, he'll present the exact same picture and the entire court will act as if they'd never seen it before. Awkwaaard.) Van Zieks pours himself another glass of wine, toasts to Ryu's incompetence and later has another micro-aggression:

Scumbag points! And also possibly hilarious foreshadowing if he's referring to either Asogi Sr. or Mikotoba here. Though it's hard to say how well acquainted Van Zieks was with (S)Holmes and his partner roughly 16 to 10 years ago. Anyway, Van Zieks flings another chalice and basically admits that he already knew these two criminals gunned down (S)Holmes, but made a deal with them not to get into that. Though technically, Ryu was the one who got into it by proving it in court, so Van Zieks didn't break any unscrupulous deals. And maybe he was even expecting Ryu to do so? Maybe that's why he was pushing Ryu to present evidence? Either way, Van Zieks now owes 'his Nipponese friend' a word of gratitude, since he helpfully confirmed the two brothers couldn't possibly have shot the victim. Only one bullet was fired from their pistol, after all, and if it hit (S)Holmes it couldn't possibly have killed Windibank.

Van Zieks proceeds to “take a moment to consider the aforementioned Great Detective, Mr. Sholmes” (KEEP THIS LINE IN MIND), and brings up the security cameras (S)Holmes planted at the pawnshop so that he can present a picture of the defendant waving a pistol at the victim. Why didn't he present this evidence immediately instead of asking two shady burglars to testify? Who even knows, man. He's being erratic, just as the judge said. The jurors have seen enough and vote guilty, so it's time for a Summation Examination! Van Zieks poured himself another glass of wine before Ryu even asserted his right to that, because he knew it was coming. He has to stand in silence and so he will drink.

(Juror No 1, aka Mr. Garrideb, proceeds to piss me off by oggling the maid juror. I thought the whole point of this character was that his wife misunderstood and jumped to conclusions; that she's been punishing him wrongfully since he does indeed love her and will stand by her side no matter what, but apparently not.) Some tomfoolery later, we require the prosecution's help to prove stereoscopes are just as cool as wireless telegraphy.

I honestly think it's hilarious that he's meant to stay silent but has broken that rule several times, so now we're taunting him by asking him a direct question during the Examination. So after it's been proven the two criminals moved some stuff around inside the pawnshop, four jurors vote not-guilty and the trial continues. The two witnesses get called back to the stand and---

… Okay. So he definitely is against perjury. He seems to hate it, even. He apparently keeps giving them the evil eye as they testify, intimidating Ringo into telling the truth. But I just can't shake the memory of him feeding a lie to Shamspeare in Memoirs of the Clouded Kokoro. Also, the game very much caught me off guard during this testimony when I presented a piece of evidence which wasn't correct, but instead of leading to a penalty led me to a unique set of dialogue not found when presenting other wrong evidence. That is to say, I presented a picture of Gina holding the sole gun to disprove the testimony that both she and Windibank were wielding guns, which led to:

Isn't that what we often do in these games? Van Zieks clearly hasn't been paying attention. Anyway, the judge points out that so long as I couldn't prove that Gina was still holding the only gun some time later, when Windibank was shot, the evidence wasn't relevant. So I had to present the picture of Windibank's body (not holding a gun) instead. Ryu manages to point out through that picture that the Skulkin brothers were lying and-

OKAY OKAY. I GET IT. Van Zieks hates perjury with a burning passion and Memoirs of the Clouded Kokoro messed up. The trial continues on to the point where Ryu manages to suggest that the Skulkin brothers shot Windibank and Gina then locked the door to save herself. At first Van Zieks is shocked at the notion, but after Ryu details his logic, he just puts his hands down on the desk and chuckles.

This is the first time we see something close to laughter from him, and it's not even really laughter. It's just a malicious, bitter little noise. In fact, we've never seen him smile. He's not even smiling now, as he cackles. That's a stark contrast from other prosecutors, who all smile/smirk as they gloat. Barok's facial expression barely changes at all. Are they building up to something? Anyway, the judge wonders why Van Zieks finds this amusing, as he found the argument quite persuasive himself. Van Zieks pours himself another glass of wine and says:

“But such blatantly malicious conjuring tricks amount to nothing more than inexcusable pettifoggery here. Because you see, it contains a fatal flaw!”

Scumbag points! He then proceeds to imply all the members of the jury are too dimwitted to count (as he flings his chalice). Bullets, that is. There were two bullets found at the crime scene and there were two guns recovered, each having fired one bullet. So if the Skulkin brothers had shot (S)Holmes, they couldn't possibly have shot Windibank as well.

Bye wine bottle, rip person sitting behind him. Van Zieks proceeds to slander Gina for being “far from a law-abiding citizen” and having “a past riddled with criminal misconduct”. To further illustrate his point, he presents a piece of evidence that the defendant attempted to steal the day beforehand, not with the subtlety of a pickpocket but by brute force and brazen impudence. Gregson loses it at this point, shouting out a loud “Hold it!” before losing his nerve and stammering his way through his protest. He mentions that there was a meeting with the prosecution service where it was agreed that piece of evidence wouldn't be used. Ryu is baffled and thinks this:

And now I'm baffled as well, because thinking back on it... Yes, Gregson has talked about Van Zieks before in Investigation segments and has been called in to testify, but as far as I can recall, he hasn't ever addressed Van Zieks directly. Fascinating stuff. Van Zieks says he's unaware of this meeting- probably because he found out Ryu's defending later on and snatched this case up at the last second. Perhaps even took it from the originally-assigned prosecutor with brute force and brazen impudence. Gregson insists that 'the government bigwigs' were very insistent about not using the disc as evidence, to which Van Zieks says:

Good gracious, Van Zieks is a loose cannon! … Or wait, maybe he's a reckless renegade? Or is he perhaps a prosecutor on the edge with nothing to lose? (Alright, put on a pot of coffee- we're gonna get to the bottom of this!) ...Either way, the prosecution thinks it's sufficiently made its case by establishing motive, opportunity and baseness of character.

OY! I thought you don't read third-rate detective stories! But Iris specifically wrote that line into existence, so he must have. Me thinks we've got a closet Adventures of (S)Herlock (S)Holmes fan on our hands, here. The jury buys into his slander, votes guilty, Iris accuses him of being mean and Ryu enters Summation Examination mode a second time.

Oh he knows what he's in for. He knows. Several minutes of talking about bullets later, the topic of (S)Holmes's waist pouch is brought up and Iris wonders whether perhaps the bullet hit one of the glass vials with flammable content. Van Zieks suddenly speaks up with an “If I may...”, catching the startled attention of Ryu in particular.

“I should inform the defence that I have the pouch in question in the antechamber outside the courtroom. As I understand it, when the police arrived on the scene and found Mr Sholmes injured, they removed the pouch in order to assess the wound. Since then, it has been in my safekeeping along with all other evidence relating to the case. I can personally vouch for the fact that it has not been touched since the incident occurred.”

This whole plotline cracks me up with how little sense it makes, considering the position of this pouch on (S)Holmes's outfit. But I'm not here to criticize plot-convenience of evidence, so let's move on and look at what's actually happening here. The defense is discussing possibilities with the jurors in hopes of changing their minds towards a not-guilty and instead of keeping silent, as he's supposed to during this moment, Van Zieks actively speaks up to admit he has a piece of evidence which may be of assistance. It's entirely possible that the pouch would have all three vials intact and thereby dismiss the theory that the bullet hit one of them, but... Regardless of whether he remembers seeing a broken vial with his own eyes, he's taking a risk by showing the pouch. He could've played by the Summation Examination rules, kept his mouth shut and then later when it comes out he had the pouch all along, just remind everyone he wasn't allowed to speak. That's what most prosecutors would've done. Naturally, it's revealed there was indeed a broken vial and some scorched leather, and even closer examination reveals a third bullet we can present to the jurors.

Scumbag point! So with all the confusion on the third bullet and the implication of there being a third gun, the judge does something pretty extraordinary. He doesn't wait for the jurors to change their leaning and instead actually suspends the Summation Examination until the matter is cleared up. This implies any judge has the power to overrule juror leanings, at the very least during Summation Examination, when they feel the case presented by the counsels is lacking important details. Anyway, closing argument on hold for now and the Skulkins return to the stand. Barok looks them straight in the eyes with his usual evil eye and asks them whether the third gun is one of theirs. When that's denied, he asks whether they had an accomplice, which is also denied. And it's kind of funny, because only a few minutes later when Ryu implies they had an accomplice, we get this line:

“Yet in all that time, there has been not a murmur of a third man. If this apparently wraithlike being exists...” pause for chalice crush... “The court must be shown hard evidence!”

But Van Zieks was the one who questioned the Skulkins about an accomplice earlier, so... Indeed, we don't have evidence, but the murmur was definitely already there. So now the prosecution wants two things: evidence there was a third person on the scene and their identity. The game prompts two options: Either present an answer to the prosecution's demands or, y'know, don't. Naturally I chose the latter option to see what happens and it goes about as well as you'd expect. Ryu stutters and trails off, Van Zieks notes the defense is unable to complete a sentence, let alone provide credible answers... Iris takes the place of Susato in telling Ryu off for faltering, so Ryu desperately tries to catch himself and push his argument. Van Zieks says: “So, my Nipponese friend, despite the swimming eyes you seem to think you have something to say...”

PENALTY FROM THE PROSECUTION, oh how I've missed you. Loading up the savegame and choosing the first option actually also leads to the exact same line of “so, my Nipponese friend, despite the swimming eyes you seem to think you have something to say...”, just with a slightly different posture and followed up with the words “this promises to be interesting.” Ryu presents the blood sample on the calendar once more and as I said before, the court acts as if they've never seen this picture before. Hilarious. Van Zieks asks why the blood is depicted as green and Ryu explains it's because of a new chemical (S)Holmes invented. The green blood is then linked to Eggert Benedict through the music disc. The court gets very excited, but much like the skin prints in case 2-2, this isn't admissible evidence. Van Zieks says “this has gone on long enough now. This flagrant ignorance of the mechanics of law.”

“The protagonist in a series of short stories for the vulgar classes. A god of detection or some such. And now you employ chemical substances devised by this fantastical persona in the highest court in the land? Do you expect us to take you seriously? The samples made by this plaything are not fit to be called evidence.”

These lines! I had a quick look at both Scarlet Study's and Taisa's scripts, and there Van Zieks outright accuses (S)Holmes of being a fictional character. He doesn't actually diss the stories themselves though, nor is there anything similar to that plaything line. He only says the chemical itself is 'rubbish'. What ultimately kills me is the “Yes, I’ve heard the name” as if this is the first time it’s being uttered in the courtroom. Let's be merciful here and take case 2-2 out of the equation. Yes, (S)Holmes is mentioned several times there, they establish the two have some sort of history and he even enters the courtroom at one point to address Van Zieks directly, but that case was developed after this one so accidental retcon is bound to happen. No, let's look solely at the cases in the first game. (S)Holmes has been mentioned several times throughout the course of this trial, even by Van Zieks himself. Even better, Van Zieks was the one to present photographs taken by one of (S)Holmes's playthings earlier on. OOPS.

Ryu enters despair mode because there really is no way to prove that the color green is unique to Eggert Benedict, nor would it be accepted as evidence to begin with. But that's okay, because much like the skin prints in 2-2, it was never about having it filed as official evidence. It was about influencing the jury and as Iris so smartly points out, the Summation Examination was suspended earlier. This means that technically, it's still going on. It doesn't matter what the prosecution or the judge thinks of (S)Holmes's invention, it only matters what the jurors think, as they now have the power to force the trial to continue. Naturally, the majority votes not-guilty. Van Zieks objects rather ferociously. “My lord, with all due respect, this is an outrage! The prosecution refuses to accept this decision!” (heehee, I really enjoy these lines. With all due respect, indeed.) The judge asks on what grounds the prosecution is objecting, and Van Zieks says:

“Then they are too ignorant to be trusted with the judgement of anyone's guilt!”

Gosh, he really doesn't enjoy how 'gullible' the jurors are, does he? Or rather, he gets frustrated when the jurors begin to think for themselves instead of taking the prosecution's word for it. The judge sets Van Zieks straight by basically reminding him that this is how the court works.

It is so satisfying to watch him squirm. Van Zieks wants us to play by the court's rules, so we're playing by the court's rules and now he's got no more comebacks. This is it folks, we're subpoena-ing Egg Benedict! He does indeed show up to court after a brief intermission and reveals his true name to be Ashley Graydon. Graydon expresses haughty dismay that the highest court of the land was swayed by some self-professed detective's homemade tincture. Van Zieks tells him it was the will of the jury, and their great British justice system demands that the jury's will is upheld. Graydon calls the jury members inept, as Van Zieks has done many times before, but agrees to testify. Ryu attempts to needle this guy several times by asserting he was definitely at the crime scene, but indeed, the blood sample doesn't count as evidence and Ryu doesn't really have anything else to back him up. Van Zieks oh-so-kindly reminds him that the obligation to prove the defense's assertion lies with, well, the defense. Eventually we do get there and Graydon starts making up some bullshit story about how he met McGilded in a gentlemen's club and bonded with him over unique music box music, so that's what that disc was. Van Zieks points out that Yard have indeed been gathering items believed to have been McGilded's property, presumably to aid their investigations. Gregson once again loses his composure here and tries to shut the conversation down.

Gregson and Van Zieks continue to banter back and forth about how Gregson is definitely not allowed to talk about these things and Van Zieks should also know better than to pry. Even Ryu thinks it's strange the two of them are bickering like that. Anyway, we're not allowed to discuss the McGilded stuff, so back to Graydon and his breaking and entering! Van Zieks asserts that if the police confiscated the disc beforehand and Graydon saw this happen, there was no reason for him to break into the pawnshop anymore.

Oooh, that's some tasty triumph over Van Zieks's ignorance! Ryu brings up the second item pawned by McGilded, a 'small box'. Van Zieks insists that no such thing was stolen from the pawnshop and he can prove it, since he has a picture of the shelves from before the break-in and one from after the break-in. You know, the pictures taken by that idiot detective's silly little plaything! Through the magic of stereoscopes (or the 3D Slider in the 3DS version), Ryu can see that a small box was moved.

It's absolutely hilarious that most of the court has to go cross-eyed to do the stereoscope thing and then there's Van Zieks, with a fancy stereoscope device that he just happened to have with him in a trial he couldn't possibly predict would require a stereoscope. He's so extra! Ryu asserts that if the box was moved, they have to raise the question of what was inside it and send the Yard to retrieve that thing at once. Van Zieks objects, saying that “some little box belonging to a man who died two months ago can't possibly be relevant to this trial.” The judge doesn't see it his way, though, and overrules his objection. Nice! So officers are dispatched to Baker Street to fetch the box and Van Zieks grumbles to himself about being hoodwinked by a farce.

The judge once again doesn't take kindly to Van Zieks's attitude problems and I love this. I can't wait for the prosecution to be penalized, because it feels like it's right around the corner here. Van Zieks elaborates that this whole thing is nothing but a smoke screen; a Nipponese specialty. Scumbag points for this one! I can't entirely connect this to Professor foreshadowing, I think it's just him being petty. Either way, he's going to jump through hoops now. Mere minutes ago he established that the Yard is still investigating McGilded's stuff and the 'aftermath' of his activities, but he's flipping it all over now. He begins to talk about how McGilded died two months ago, immediately after the trial in which he was found not-guilty.

“So I propose a toast. To my learned friend, and his most... insightful defense.”

So the logic being used here now is that McGilded was a fine, upstanding citizen and anything he pawned was truly innocent/ordinary, so why would someone want to steal it? The only way to prove that there's more to these items than might be apparent would be for Ryu to reveal that the acquittal was a mistake and the defense's argument was based on false information. They all suspected this two months ago, though. It was made abundantly clear that the only reason McGilded walked free was because nobody could say for certain whether the evidence was tampered with. Either way, Ryu's cornered now and wondering to himself whether Van Zieks knows the items in question are related to the omnibus murder. He probably does. He has access to the evidence, which means he has access to to the pawn tickets which hold some very specific dates on them.

The game gives Ryu an option whether or not to have Gina testify about what happened two months ago, but this option isn't real. If you choose 'leave it', Ryu still decides within two lines of dialogue that they have to uncover the truth. There's no penalty for stalling. So Ryu calls for Gina to testify and Van Zieks definitely knows what's up.

“In particular, the impact it will have on the accused's standing... And indeed your own.”

So this is a warning, clear and simple. Van Zieks knows shit will hit the fan. Or, as he later phrases it, it will bring the court down around Ryu's ears. But Ryu insists upon the testimony, the prosecution agrees and Gina is put on the stand. The judge tells Graydon he can step down, Graydon promptly sees this as an excuse to leave and bids them all a good day, but Van Zieks tells him to wait.

Oh, this... I like this. By now, Van Zieks has caught on to Ryu's little trick of watching the reactions from other witnesses during testimonies. He's purposely making Graydon stand there and listen to Gina's testimony just in case he reacts in such an overdramatic way, Ryu can pursue it. Iiinteresting! Now it seems as if he's on our side, but we're not quite there yet. Before Gina can begin her testimony, Van Zieks reminds her that if it turns out she willfully withheld information two months ago, she'll be prosecuted for perjury. That's just an intimidation technique to get her not to reveal what she withheld. … Which is weird, because you'd think Van Zieks would want her to spill those beans. Either way, with some encouragement from Ryu and Iris, Gina begins to talk about the lies she told. Aaand we're ending the essay here for now, because we're only about halfway into this disaster of a trial and the plot will only thicken from here on out. Stay tuned for part 2 of The Unspeakable Story!

#dgs #dgs spoilers #tgaa #tgaa spoilers #barok van zieks #thank goodness #the consistency is back #BLESS

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g3nosarchive · 4 years ago

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ok i genuinely think a lot of other people have this problem but stop inserting yourself when xyz issue is mentioned. when someone is telling you that a person, a celebrity, some franchise is harming their identity or anyone’s identity as a minority, or part of a certain race or religion or anything shut the fuck up and accept it.

they do not need to know your emotional attachment to said thing, your disbelief, your horror, your personal experience - we didn’t ask for all that. we know just how bad it is, cus yk it harms us maybe? we’ve already gone through the cycle of being angry and indignant and now we’re here trying to get you to understand in the hopes that as a friend you do what you’re meant to do when you became friends with us. we are not your constant ball of anger to use whenever you find something that’s “crazy, unbelievably, shockingly” once again, a hate crime, when you decide you want to feel angry and care about it.

more under the cut bc i talk too much

by doing that, you’re making an issue that you didn’t even know about suddenly yours. ask yourself, what is the purpose for telling anyone all that? to get them to sympathize with you personally so you can get a pass because you didn’t know? of course you don’t know, of course you’re unaware, that’s the whole reason why you’re being told in the first place. do not water down the issue or even try to play the ‘everything has some issue like this so there’s no point in going this far’ card. especially as a white person. the reason why you don’t know primarily is because it doesn’t affect you and it doesn’t cross your mind.

when you watch a show with a black character, you don’t care about how off the character design is or how stereotypical and borderline racist the comedy gag surrounding said character is. when you listen to your favorite white music artists or watch your favorite movie with a majority white cast, white staff, white team, and white theme, you don’t care to analyze just how outdated and stereotypical the way that token asian character is portrayed. some of y’all don’t understand and will never understand the mental struggle and awareness forever plugged into the brain of lgbt and/or poc, especially black people when we consume anything, when we go anywhere, when we meet new people, to constantly catch those micro aggressions and know what to avoid.

so when someone tells you insert classic hot mess is racist and you should stop supporting it, one of the worst things you can do beside outright rejecting it is to defend it and insinuate that we don’t know what we’re talking about, that we need 30 different sources to prove it all, that you don’t think (for example taylor swifts dream colonized africa mv) is bad. you try to say the thing or person that is actively promoting all this homophobia, racism, transmisogyny etc needs to be kindly educated, is trying their best, will learn soon enough, just wasn’t educated, will do better in the future (esp looking at u kpop stans). does their apparent regret but refusal to properly apologize actually matter? the damage has already been done.

that in itself is a privilege i could never have. i don’t even try being a fan of any major white celebrity or any kpop group because i guarantee if i search up their name with ‘racist’, ‘sexist’, ‘homophobic’, ‘transphobic’, ‘cultural appropriation’ behind it something or some image is bound to show up. you will all say “oh they haven’t done anything yet” but when it comes out that they did, they have, and they do not care about who it affects, suddenly it’s a bombshell dropped on you out of nowhere.

it’s not that hard to spot these things actually. if your fav is constantly putting themselves against people of color, saying shady shit about non cishets while being a cishet themself, saying one thing and doing another, or has been silent when their voice was expected to speak up, shouldn’t you notice? y’all will reblog all these posts but in reality only 10% are actually reading and listening and actually digesting this information for future use.

and i think the thing that pisses me off is this is all from personal experience where i’m speaking from. over the past 2 days the amount of times if i’ve heard about the “tea that dropped w meghan markle” is ridiculous and annoying. a girl texted me and i sat there and i realized that she does this on a daily basis to fuel my anger and get me to validate her own useless anger. of course i knew about it and i wasn’t surprised at all - she’s still a black woman.

almost every black blog on here, when they get big enough, deals with some sort of weird shit surrounding their blackness. if you get big on speaking about issues you are now this emotionless token ‘smart black person i can actually trust’ to use as your replacement for google. this is not to say asking questions is bad, but it is so easy to pull up some of the shit you guys ask for. some people get called slurs directly, targeted for being too black or not black enough, attacked for their features and etc and someone mentioned this before but the only people that care in those situations are other black people themselves. white people will have blm in their bio but turn the other way the minute some anon starts acting up in their mutuals’ inbox, calling them a dark1e because they felt confident enough to post some selfies. and then you get sad when we dont go to you for any kind of support?

i’ve stated sometimes that asking me questions on issues and things is okay, but one of the main reasons i say that is because whether i say it or not, i’ll be asked questions and expected to know everything and i am your personal walking encyclopedia and ofc it’s natural for me to have all this information in my head, as if i didn’t research it myself. but then i think about the numerous amounts of people that specifically say not to ask them this shit because it really does tire you out, that they don’t want to have to deal with this in any space but they still get them.

and then the ones that don’t even know themself so people will use them as an example and say “well this person didn’t know and they’re ‘marginalized identity’ so it should be fine for me too”. good god just apologize, show that you really care, change your behavior and move on. do you think it was fun being asked the statistics for george floyd’s and other black peoples death in class? that you were being inclusive and giving me a chance to show off my intelligence, to prove to others that i really had something up here and you were my greatest star eyes white friend that gave me that chance? i cant close my posts like this properly but i want you to think about that shit and actually ask yourself if you’d do that. a lot of you will read this and think “i’m not that type of racist” “i don’t have those deep seated prejudices in me” yes you do. you just haven’t been called out on it.

for all the shit ive dealt with above, if i’ve ever talked to you about this before dont come to me to apologize i do not need it and you are not the only person i’ve received this from. i guarantee you that there’s about 20 other people i’ve thought about while writing this post considering i’m a black person in the real world, so keep your guilt to yourself an deal with it

white people don’t add on to this

#important #antiblackness #george floyd #death mention #ok to rb #more than ok but #here it is 😇#ill rb this everyday if i have to

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readyplayerhobi · 5 years ago

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Flower | 08

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, slight angst

; Word Count: 3.9k

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: Yet another chapter for us all! :D I hope you’re still enjoying it and you like the new banner! This is what he looks like in this fic obviously, just with tattoos and a lip ring. Please reblog if you enjoyed and leave me comments, feedback and asks! It helps to fuel my inspiration for this to know you all love it too!

; Flower Masterpost

The bar in front of you looks ever so slightly dinghy, but you can’t tell if that’s an actual thing or if you’re just stereotyping it. This was the bar that Hoseok and his friends frequented often, a rock bar apparently.

It sounded like everything you hated but you knew he loved it given all the stories he’d told you over the last month of the mischief they all got up to. Apparently when you added alcohol into their strange friendship, it resulted in pure chaos. Part of you wanted to see it, but the overwhelming part of you was terrified.

You’d never been in a situation like this before. Previous partners had been in college, where you already knew their friends. This was new territory, terrifying territory. When you walked through that door, you were going to be meeting Hoseok and his closest friends for the first time.

It made you want to be sick. They probably had expectations on you. There was no way he hadn’t talked about you to them...or what if hadn’t? What if you were a complete surprise to them? What if he’d spouted so much crap and they were disappointed when they meet you? Thought he could do better? What if they hated you? Publicly ignored you or insulted you.

Not that you think Hoseok would let them.

You’d both been dating now just over a month and you were pretty sure that he was the kind of person who wouldn’t accept someone being mean to you. But friends were important, right? If Chungha and Soyeon both expressly disapproved of Hoseok then you doubted that you’d have stayed with him.

What if they told him that they didn’t like you? Would he leave you?

You’re so busy catastrophizing just outside of the door that you don’t notice when someone comes out of it, the music from inside loud enough to be heard when the door is open but not deafening. A hand pressing on your arm gently makes you jump, eyes widening as you look up into the face of Hoseok.

“You’ve gotta stop jumping like this. I’m worried you’ll give yourself a heart attack. Anyway, any reason you’re out here instead of coming inside? Like the smell of piss and weed or something?” Your nose wrinkles at that, acknowledging the disgusting smell that you’d been trying not to think about and he laughs.

“I was...coming. I just…” You struggle to get the words out, shrugging rather limply and he sighs softly. Hoseok had been trying to encourage to meet his friends now for a week, his texts saying that tonight was happening and he’d really, really love it if you came. It was a good sign that he wanted you to meet them, you knew that, but your very nature recoiled away from socialising with large amounts of people.

And that was to say nothing about being out on a weeknight, your body screaming to just go home and relax on the couch with Netflix. Or the fact that you were going to be the centre of attention.

Just the thought made you seize up in anxiety, body going cold while your breath came a little faster. Hoseok seems to tell that your mood has changed and he shifts around in front of you, cupping your face in his hands while his thumbs gently stroke at your cheeks.

“Hey...hey. What’s wrong? Tell me. Is it this? You don’t have to, I won’t be mad. Swear. I’ll call a taxi for you and you can go home if you want.” He’s looking at you earnestly, his eyes scanning over your face to track every micro expression and you feel his genuine care. The girls were right in that you’d found a good one here.

“No, no. I don’t...I just...it’s a lot. I don’t...I,” Wiping at your mouth, you look up at the sky and try hard not to start hyperventilating or something. “What if they don’t like me? And everyone’s going to be staring at me and judging me and I hate when I’m the centre of-”

“Hey...it’s okay. We’ll...I’ll make sure that they don’t make you feel uncomfortable okay? They’re good people. And they’ll like you. You’re hard not to like. Just...be yourself.” The smile on his face is reassuring but you can still feel the anxiety bubbling deeply within.

“Myself is someone with social anxiety who talks about useless crap and blurts out overly sarcastic comments. I’d rather be someone else.” You look away at that, brows rising for a moment while your lips turn down. The sound of Hoseok sighing fills your eyes and you feel bad for whining at him, knowing that he’d only know you a month and he was already having to put up your stream of negativity.

“I don’t. I like you. The useless crap is interesting and the sarcastic comments are hilarious. I want to introduce my friends to you...my girlfriend. Not some other girl, okay? Do you want to go in or…?” He points at the door, smiling at you and you just nod, eyes wide as a warmth blossoms from deep within.

He called you his girlfriend.

The pleased shock of what he’d called you wears off quickly as he moves along the sticky floor to the booth where his friends are all sat. It’s dim inside, the overhanging lights dull while the neon green and pink of the beer logos behind the bar contrast vibrantly. A whole multitude of spirits and other forms of alcohol sit on the space below them along with various whiskeys on the optics, just waiting for someone to order them.

Hoseok glances over at a platinum blonde haired girl behind the bar, her arms and neck covered with even more tattoos than Hoseok, before he raised a hand and pointed to you. “Can you bring a Coke please?” The girl nods and reaches for a fresh glass from above but you don’t get to pay anymore attention as Hoseok’s hand presses against your lower back once more.

It’s easy to tell where his friends are. The place isn’t too big and there isn't a huge amount of people here, only a few booths filled up. But his friends are loud, talking at incredible volumes and laughing even louder than that. You know it’s them because he’s leading you directly to them, the pressure from his hand a little stronger as you hesitate.

“It’s okay.” He whispers, quickly pressing a kiss to your temple and you heat up at the public display of affection. Yet despite the embarrassment that rolls through you, there’s an equal amount of reassurance that you feel at his presence.

The noise quietens down when you both walk up, seven interested faces glancing you up and down before looking over at Hoseok. They all look a bit squashed into the booth and Hoseok grabs two chairs from a nearby empty table, quickly ushering you into one.

“Okay so, well...errr…” He sounds a little nervous and you realise with a start that he probably is as nervous as you are. These are his friends after all, you have no doubt that he wants them to like you while also hoping that you’ll like them. He quickly introduces each person, pointing to each one and you follow along, giving shy smiles to each one as they smile in return or wave.

“And...well...this is Y/N. If anyone says anything mean then I will feed you a rotten egg. I have one in my fridge that I need to throw out, so it can happen.” Hoseok threatens lightly, his smile light but you can sense an edge behind it too. No one says anything in response to that and he shuffles a tiny bit closer, his arm moving to rest on the back of your chair.

“Err...hi.” It’s all you can get out, your body tensing from their attention. You think frantically for something else to say, desperately hoping that someone else will take up the mantle for you and thankfully, Jimin’s fiancée Eden does.

“What do you do then? Anything interesting?” The question makes you glance down at your hands, their carefully painted nails playing with the zip on your bag as you swallow.

“I’m just an admin assistant for a wholesaler. Nothing interesting.” She nods at that with a laugh, rolling her eyes and leaning back into her partner. His hair isn’t pink anymore, but instead a deep black that makes him look appallingly attractive.

Actually they all look attractive and you want to point an accusatory finger at Hoseok, wondering how on earth he managed to find six other men who looked like they modelled for high fashion brands at the weekend. Nothing to boost your self confidence than having seven guys prettier than you around you.

“God, I feel you. I’m convinced there’s no such thing as hell otherwise my life would not be as shit as it is. I’m a receptionist at a doctor’s clinic, which would be fine if it wasn’t for the fact that patients are not only dumb as fuck but also some of the rudest people out there. Like...I get you’re in pain and hurting but there’s no need to be an ass, you know?” You find yourself smiling with a nod, her open nature and friendliness calling out to you.

“You think that’s bad? Try having to deal with people who need legal representation when you know they’re the scum of the earth. God, I wish I’d chosen something boring to specialise in, like property law. Law and Order makes it look really interesting but it’s really not, it’s just stress and boring research.” Namjoon’s the one who says that, his hair blonde and shaved pretty short on the sides.

He has a kind face, you decide, as you watch him laugh over something Jungkook says, the man next to him. Deep dimples spot his cheeks when he smiles and you can easily see why he ended up being the first to not only marry but also have a child.

His wife is apparently still in the end stages of pregnancy, hence why she’s not here tonight. As nice as the extra female company would have been, you’re sure she’s probably curled up at home. Part of you wishes you were curled up at home too.

“Friends, friends...I have two words for you all...customer...service.” Taehyung, a ridiculously attractive man who you think actually should have a career as a model instead of a customer service representative, says with raised brows, hands lifting into the air as he shrugs. His eyes are barely visible beneath the tousled, curled black hair he’s sporting.

Hisses and winces of sympathy erupt from everyone, including you, before the conversation carries on further. Nothing else leaves you because you can’t think of anything to talk about so you simply listen. No one notices the quietness that you fall into as they continue to talk, their friendships allowing them to chat easily and quickly through numerous topics that you don’t particularly understand.

You’re good at disappearing into the background of people, vanishing from conversations and simply watching them happen around you. It was a lot easier than trying to figure out how to talk without sounding like an idiot, which was a regular occurrence for you.

But after ten minutes of it, apart from a thank you to the bartender who brings you your drink, Hoseok evidently takes notice. He leans close to you, lips brushing against your ear and you shiver ever so slightly as his warm breath tickles the fine hairs as he speaks in a low voice to you.

“Is everything okay? You’ve gone quiet.” You look at him with wide eyes, shrugging slightly as you curl into yourself a little more. He frowns in response, lips pursing slightly and causing his lip ring to jut out funnily as he contemplates your response.

But he doesn’t say anything vocally, instead just moves his arm to wrap around your shoulders and tug you a little closer. He’s delightfully warm against you and the now familiar smell of peppermint and sandalwood envelops you as he does so. You have no idea what cologne he uses but it smells amazing, and there’s nothing better than a nice smelling guy sometimes.

“Hoseok told us about your first date by the way, I’m not surprised he couldn’t get out of an escape room.” Jimin pipes up suddenly, a mischievous look on his face as Hoseok stiffens next to you in outrage. He’s sputtering for a reply and you can’t help but smile, ducking your head down and shrugging.

“Don’t be too mean, I also couldn’t get us out.” You admit quietly, a meek look on your face as they all laugh. Taehyung pointed at Jungkook with an incredulous look, eyes widening as he accuses the post-grad student.

“I don’t know why you’re laughing, the last time we did one of those you broke the fucking door. Got banned from the damn place after having to pay to have it fixed.” Everyone looks at Jungkook in amusement at that, an oddly fond expression woven into them as he begins to protest his innocence immediately.

“I didn’t break it! I just...tried opening it. And it did.” He gestures, shoulders slumping as he slides down the seat ever so slightly, his bottom lip sticking out in an adorable pout. From what you’ve learnt from Hoseok, Jungkook is most definitely the baby of the group. Not because he acts like a child, but because he’s the youngest and the others all treat him like a little brother.

“You. Kicked. The. Door. The fuck did you think was gonna happen?”

“Everyone said that doesn’t work in real life! I thought I’d just kick it and nothing would happen, maybe make my foot hurt or something. Felt cool though, like I was in a crime show.” Namjoon sighs deeply at that, rubbing his hand over his eyes with a weariness you get the feeling he experiences more often than not with these guys.

“Yeah, if you wanted to be in Brooklyn 99 and not Criminal Minds.” The words are filled with more than a little sarcasm from Taehyung who crosses his arms over his chest, suddenly making you realise how broad he is. It’s not helped when you find yourself assessing them all and realising that while Taehyung and Seokjin are both incredibly wide, Yoongi and Jimin appear to be almost petite with how slender they are.

“Well I may have sucked ass, and perhaps we would die if we ended up in a horror situation which required us to solve our way out of a room, but I didn’t break anything. And the rest of the date went fine, thank you very much.” Hoseok leans back in his chair, a smirk on his face as he looks smugly at them all.

And you can’t help it, you just cannot help yourself.

“Except for when you told me about that girl throwing up on your dick.”

Immediately he looks at you in betrayal, jaw dropping open and letting you see that he’s changed his tongue piercing for a black ball instead of silver. But you can’t help but smile and giggle his brows furrowed in disbelief, the noise increased in volume when he starts to tickle you playfully.

“I told you that in confidence!”

“No you didn’t, you said it in the middle of a restaurant on a first date! That’s like...the least confidential thing ever. You may as well have hired a skywriter to write it out or something.” You wriggle away from his fingers, pushing at his hands to try and avoid them.

Hoseok pauses, lips pursing together as he looks you over before he sneers. It’s not a mean face, you can see the joy in his eyes and part of you feels relief rush through you that you haven't offended him. “Maybe so.”

“A girl threw up on your dick?” Jungkook asks, his face a complete picture of disgust. On the contrary, Jimin just shrugs before waving a hand airily.

“Hey man, you do you. If that’s what gets you off then that’s what gets you off. This is a non-judgemental place.” He said serenely, causing Eden to turn and look at him with a raised brow.

“You get turned on at egg-laying dildos. In fact...you told me that you wanted to try role playing as Thanos the other night.” That stuns everyone into silence, a slight look of judgement on everyone’s face as they look at the smaller man. He maintains a perfectly blank face before shrugging.

“I will admit that maybe my sexual practices aren’t your normal ones…”

The conversation spirals after that, becoming one of intense discussions about sexual preferences, kinks and even fetishes. Some of the things said make you heat up from curiosity but most of them are because of pure embarrassment. They laugh and joke about things that you’ve never heard anyone joking about before and you find that you don’t have anything to add.

Not that you’re sure you want to have anything to add. You do find out though that Hoseok has been much more adventurous in bed than you given some of the stories both he and the others tell. Apparently a few of them had lived together in college and they’d had a truly wild time during those years.

It was certainly amusing though and you found that you quite liked just listening to them talk, absorbing their stories and disseminating the intense history between them all. The easy way they slipped into each others conversations made their long friendships obvious and you felt a pang of longing for something like this.

There was no doubt that Chungha and Soyeon were the same with you, but you’d never seen it like this on such a large scale with this many friends.

After a while though, you feel your inner tolerance for social situations rapidly depleting and a swirl of anxiety runs through you as you realise that it’s already nearing 9pm. You still have to get home, a thirty minute taxi ride away, and then shower for the next day. Your bed is calling you more than ever and you fidget for a few minutes, wondering how to politely tell Hoseok that you wanted to leave.

Leaving social events was never easy for you because you always felt like you were going to let people down or have them judge you. But you were tired, your eyes beginning to droop as your energy levels fell and the makeup on them pulled them down. The warmth of Hoseok against you wasn’t helping either, the desire to curl up into him and sleep so strong.

You don’t realise that you’ve drifted off for a few minutes, head resting against Hoseok’s shoulder as one hand lays on his thigh. Not until he gently jerks you awake, your eyes widening as you blink rapidly to try and move through the fog of sleep.

“Hey...you wanna go home? I’ll call a taxi for you.” A murmur of protest leaves you, a new anxiety at letting him down burning at you but he shakes his head with a sweet smile. Pressing his lips to your forehead, he grabs his phone and opens the Uber app. “It’s okay, honestly. I know you’re tired by now and I’d rather you go now than stay out and be even more tired.”

You can’t find it in yourself to complain any further, just laying your head back down on his shoulder and trying your hardest to stay awake. It was hard though, and you wondered what his friends thought seeing you like this. A benefit to being so drained of energy though was that you didn’t particularly care what they thought of you right now. You just wanted to go home and go to bed.

“Come on, it’s here,” Hoseok whispered, shifting you until you got up out of the uncomfortable wooden seat, stretching out with a quiet groan. “I’m just gonna take her to the taxi.”

“Bye, it was nice meeting you.” You say, your voice incredibly soft but all of them give you a smile in response as they give their goodbyes as well. Hoseok takes your hand, entangling your fingers, before gently pulling you back through the bar to the door. The waiting Uber is parked at the side of the road, waiting for you to get in and Hoseok walks over, opening the door.

Before you get in though, you wrap your arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. “Do you think it went okay?”

Your words are a little muffled but he hears them anyway, the street is pretty quiet except for the idling engine of the car. His hand rubs along your back slowly and you lean a tiny bit back, looking up at him in the crappy lighting.

“I think it went good. Don’t worry about it, honestly. Anyway...text me when you get home so I know you’re safe, okay?” You nod, feeling a little like you’re being instructed by a parent but it makes you feel warm and good at his concern. “Good. I’ll text you good night.”

With that, he gives you a sweet kiss goodnight, nothing intense or passionate. Just...nice, a goodbye kiss. And once he’s done, despite the flurry of butterflies you still feel when he kisses you, you get into the taxi and smile at him as he closes the door and watches as the car drives off.

Hoseok heads back into the bar once he can’t see the Uber anymore, excited happiness buzzing through him. He really did think it had gone well tonight; both on your side and his friends side. Even though he’d prewarned them that you were pretty shy and awkward, they’d been very respectful in a way that had surprised him.

Sitting back on his chair, he leans forward and grabs his beer, taking a deep swig before placing it back down. Everyone is sat staring at him, each with a differing expression on their face and he knows what they’re all waiting for.

Sighing deeply, he shrugs and lifts his hands up. “Well?”

“Where did you find that church mouse?” Jimin asks, his brows rising incredibly high. A few of the other chuckle, lips turning up as they nod and Hoseok feels defensiveness rising in him.

“She’s not that bad. Just...quiet. I told you she was.” He’s about to say more but Namjoon holds up a hand, calming down the atmosphere immediately.

“She was nice Hoseok. A little nicer than we’re used to with you I think. But that’s good, don’t get offended!” He says when Hoseok’s face turns outraged. “I think she’ll be good for you. You seem very relaxed with her.”

“I think you’re cute together,” Eden pipes up with a grin. “The shy girl and the loud, tattooed guy. Like one of those romance books or a fanfic.”

Hoseok frowns slightly, running his tongue over his lip ring. “Is that good?”

“Yes. She’s living the dream, that’s all I’ll say.”

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psychedelic-ink · 4 years ago

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New Beginnings 2020

I have no idea what time it is where you are but currently we have entered the year 2021. So I wanted to talk a bit about what I’ve been through at the end of 2019 and my growth in 2021, maybe it’ll help you guys out if you’re in a pretty bad place right now. In the end I just wanted to share my story, I won’t go into much detail about the whole thing but I will try to give you a general idea of what happened to me.

Also before reading further, I will be talking about cheating, gaslighting and self physical harm(not anything too serious tho), so if these things trigger you please don’t read any further.

Basically, right before we entered 2020, I had a boyfriend which I ended up marrying simply so we could move out of the country together. That was all it was supposed to be, but due to his misogynistic views he immediately turned the arrangement into a “you’re the wife, cook,do dishes, clean the house” kind of setting. And even though I was thinking about why on earth should I bet the only one doing these things, I started to believe in what he said. He was working after all (he worked in 24 hour shifts) and for all the years we’ve been together (5 years) I was dependent on him, because I believed no one else would love me. This one had nothing to do with him, I just didn’t like myself. I also felt like I was protected because I had this idea that no one could stay stuff like “oh she’s ugly, or she’s fat, she’s alone anyway because she’s awful” because I had a boyfriend, it was somewhat a shield for me.

During our so called marriage he made me feel like what I did was never good enough, there was always something wrong, my issues or the things that pissed me off weren’t important enough to listen and just silly stuff considered to him and I, at the moment, believed him. Instead of going out with me, he would always say how tired he was after his shift (this wasn’t every time but generally he was like this), he would go out with a friend which was a woman. I’m ashamed to say but I went into a jealous rage, basically having meltdowns and breakdowns whenever he went out with her, hitting myself or the things around me. Now I know that the reason I felt like this was because he never showed me the proper kind of love and I always wondered what it felt like to actually know that your significant other loves you. I would always joke about me knowing that he loved me was like believing in god. You didn’t know god was real or not but you believed anyway, and we always laughed about this.

We moved into another house, he stopped hanging out with his work friend from before and started hanging out with another woman that he worked with. I met her, she seemed, normal, nice. One time I went to another city with my friend when I came back I saw a wine bottle we had, empty, and snacks. Stuff that I knew he wouldn’t do alone. I asked him, he told me that she was with him and they had dinner at our place. Of course I got mad but didn’t really have an outburst since I had started to go to therapy and was feeling much better then. I told him that he should’ve just told me even if I was not in the city, he agreed, of course and that was that. I did trust him, so I just figured my jealousy was just my problem that I had to deal with.

Then came my birthday, another bad habit of mine, I care a lot about my birthdays. Since I put effort into surprising my friends and loved ones, I expect them to at least remember. It’s kind of shitty but it’s been something I cared about since I was a kid. And on the night of 23th of December (my birthday is on the 24th) he went out with her, I said nothing except that I wanted home by midnight so he would be with me when the clock hits 00.00, the day on my birthday he had work so he would be at work for 24 hours and I wouldn’t see him. He didn’t come home that night, I called him multiple times, and when he finally opened the phone he said that there were no cabs and that he had to stay at her place. I went insane, told him that I would consider that he was cheating on me if he did such a thing. As always he told me I was overreacting and hung up, not opening my phones later on. Of course on the day of my birthday, we fought but I ended up forgiving him and told him it was my fault.

Then I went to visit my family before New Years. When I came back, he went out to visit a coworker (at the time I didn’t know that he went with her, I found out later on) and when he came home we had a huge fight, I said that maybe we should break up (something that I usually said during fights) and he said yes let’s breakup. It was out of the blue and I was so confused when he suddenly said that. I was heartbroken and while we went to sleep that night, I was convinced that I had to win him back. I would clean the house, lose weight and show him that yes I could change even more. I woke up and for some reason had the urge to check his phone, I took it and went to the toilet then I saw his messages with her.

Messages saying that he didn’t want to be with someone who wasn’t putting the same effort as him, saying that he was going to break up with me and that he was afraid of my reaction, saying that he was relieved that it was going to happen.

I was shocked, especially because when we broke up I asked him if he liked her, he lied and said no and that it just had to do with me and him. I straight up told him that I read his messages and that he should’ve just told me. I didn’t yell or do anything at the moment, I just asked if they kissed or did anything sexual. Apparently they only kissed. I cried like a freaking baby after that, my heart was broken and we had to continue living in the same house. He went out with her every goddamn day. On New Years I was lucky enough to have friends that knew about the situation and they called me over so I spent the night with them, I couldn’t really enjoy myself but I was happy as happy I could be.

Like I said, due to school and other complications we had to continue to live together and I absolutely felt like shit. I blamed myself, hated myself, especially when I saw that he was going out with her everyday when he was always too tired to go out with me. Even if we were broken up he still tried to micro manage me going so far as basically shouting at me for buying almond milk (he didn’t let me when we were dating because it was expensive)

But then...I started getting better. I moved back with my parents, I also had very supportive friends in my hometown, I started exploring stuff that I used to like but gave up. One of these was writing fanfiction and reading fanfiction. I wrote so much but then for some reason, we started dating and I just stopped. I wanted to pursue art but that also cost a lot so that was also out of the question and wouldn’t “make me social” . I started feeling better about myself, stopped biting my nails, meet new people here on tumblr, write and actually start to earn some money, pursue my dreams of being an animator and purchasing an ipad with the money I OWNED (he also told me that the other woman had “stable finances” like I was a student what did you expect) and now after a year, I look back and I feel truly happy. I’m happy with who I am, happy about my thoughts, happy about where I am. Of course I have doubts sometimes but generally I am happy to be doing the things I love.

Basically what I want to say is that I am proud of myself. This year was shitty in many ways, sure. But for me it was a year of self growth and understanding who I am a little bit better. It does get better, even if it seems like it doesn’t. When I was living with him after the break up I thought that I would be alone forever, I was angry because I was convinced no one would fall for me. But that’s not true, I don’t have anyone right now but everything takes time. Hopefully, this year will also be a year of learning for me but I also know that I was lucky that my family and friends were very supportive so If you ever feel down, or if you’re feeling down right now don’t hesitate to talk to me, I would be happy to listen and try to help as much as I can.

Happy New year everyone! Stay Safe!

#tw gaslighting #tw cheating #tw physical harm #tw physical violence #personal #my life #happy new yeat

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vyglitchcraft · 4 years ago

Text

The Hacker X Cavalier Gantz- Neon Spray Paint

Authors note: Erron/The Hacker is by @horrorslashergirl and Gantz is mine also i am not good at writing anything and i absolutely feel bad writing this, this is going to be awkward af

Song Inspiration: New Girl by FINNEAS

Warning: Smut, brief mentions of snuff filming and blood, dub-con, virginity lost/first time, daddy kink

Word Count: 2.2k

“Are you always this prone to bad luck and violence? If so, that’s kind of sad." that's a quote that's stuck in The Graffiti Assassin's head of course that's because if they weren't so violent and unlucky this wouldn't happen.

They looked out the car window as raindrops falls on to the glass calming them down "fuckin' hell it's pretty cold ain't it? I'm surprised that you can keep warm with that hoodie of yours" Gantz crossed their legs and leaned back in the chair, softly sighing.

They met some time ago, Gantz was just finished killing a target but unfortunately they weren't really in a good mood that night. The target had escaped enough time to piss them off which they took out by shredding the target to pieces and unfortunately The Hacker was walking nearby and saw them, Gantz facepalmed themselves at that mistake till this day.

"we're here, let's go" they sighed and opened the door.

It was still raining but the air was nice enough that the can tolerate for a while "Cav stop spacing out, follow me" they nodded and followed Erron

"Yo where are we?" they looked around the building, it was unfamiliar and large. They entered using the emergency stairways and climbed up, reaching the destined floor.

It was easy to realize that this was a hotel but it makes sense that he would do this, wanting to be untraceable and all that. "Do you like it? Paid good money for this" he opened the door to their room and stepped in. The door automatically locked behind them and the room was dark, only letting the light of the streets below to pour in.

"not into the expensive shit but i can deal with it" they sighed, cracking their neck before walking down with him.

"really only one bed? I guess you knew i ain't stayin' here long ay?" Gantz chuckled as they walked to the fridge rummaging for drinks.

The Hacker placed his bag on the desk in the corner of the room, grabbing his phone and scrolling through it before stopping at a message they both had

CG: yo uh Erron i need help with something, can you track down this person for me?

Cyber: what do i get in return?

CG: like i know, we'll discuss it later and I'll think about

Cyber: you better not be late or you're going to get something you won't like

GC: don't worry, I'll get it on time promise, heck I'll share my prize with ya

GC Last seen 03:25 at XX-XX-XXXX

He showed the message to Gantz which they promptly went wide eyed "you forgot didn't you?" a loud "tss" sound came from their mouth, they reached to their pockets and pulled out a stack of money, they counted it before handing it to him "five grand...Is that enough?" the Hacker chuckled behind his mask "sorry doll face but the price got raised for keeping me waiting"

They looked around the room, tongue clicking with nervousness and annoyance "whaddya want me to do? Give ya another grand? Kidnap a girl for you maybe?" he hummed amusingly. Stepping closer to them to place the money on the desk "oh I've got something else in mind baby, and it's not what you think it is" they ran back to the door trying to escape but ending up getting caught by him pulling them by the back of the collar.

"now walk to the bed slowly or I'll make it worse" he kept his hands on their shoulders, forcing them to follow his orders. "you better have those cameras off or I'll gut you like a fish"

"oh don't worry darling, cameras all off, just me and you" he tilted his mask to the side to show a small LED that's turned off, obviously connected to the micro cameras he had imbedded in his purge mask.

"now come here and sit on daddy's lap" he said seductively, they clicked their tongue and followed his order. "this is humiliating" they closed their eyes, refusing to see their reflection.

"Gantz, look at the mirror, this is a punishment afterall" one of his hand traced their hips, moving up to their coat and zipping it off. His hand moved under the shirt they had left and took off the bandages they had on to flatten their chest, he grabbed one of their breasts, rolling the end between his finger tips "guess the rumors are right, you are a new girl, you even got these babies right here, fuck pierced too, tell me how big are they?" under the mask Gantz was more than flustered, they bit their lips as to not let any noise escape "D....They're Ds, i had to wear those so they don't get in the way" they say through gritted teeth, their hands squeezed the bedsheets like a life line.

He took off their top wear, lifting their arms and ripping it off leaving them topless. Their body was lean yet muscular they were covered with bruises and wounds, some old and some new. Their arms were full of tattoos, covering from shoulders to wrists. "what's wrong baby girl? Why are you trying to hide this from me? Are you embarrassed that everyday you get reminded of all the pain you felt? Don't worry, i love it" he palmed their breasts, the other hand tracing the bruises on their waist.

"i just wanna scratch your surface, i wanna feel your all you're grooves, i can be your needle, I'll lick your wounds too, you can be my new girl, just wanna play with you" his voice smooth like silk, they shiver at the feeling, they weren't denying, his voice was soothing and worst of all they needed him inside them.

His hands traced the hemline of their pants before pushing it down to the floor with a thud "naughty girl, you're so fucking wet just from me groping you, do you want me that badly? Guess you paid me late just for me to punish you huh?" the tone he said that in was mocking, laced with venom that stung Gantz's ears "f-fuck you, I'll kill you later" they whispered their eyes shut closed.

He laughed at their anger, resting his head on their shoulder "oh i know you won't, if you kill me, you'll miss me" he pushed inside to of his fingers, moving with a torturously slow pace while his thumb circled around their clit. "Gantz, remember look at the mirror and don't cum until i said so"

They opened their eyes, staring at themselves in the reflection, they couldn't recognize themselves at all. "JUST FUCK ME YA POSH IDIOT! JUST DO IT please"

He wiped their tears that started to pour "shh no need to yell, that wouldn't be fun wouldn't it? I'll give you prize if you be a good girl, sounds good?" they nodded as they climbed off his lap.

They sat between his legs. With a bit of hesitation they unzipped his pants, pulling out his cock. They tilted their mask above their head, enough to block their face from Erron's angle but enough to have access to their mouth. They licked their lips, jacking the cock in their hands and spreading the beading precum that's beading out of the tip. They wrapped their tongue around the base, licking up to the tip where they slowly try to fit all of him inside their throat. The feeling of cold metal against their tounge piercings was driving both of them mad. They jacked their head up and down his length, tracing a zig-zag pattern on the base.

"fuck, you're good, i was right when choosing you, you better take all of me baby girl" he tangled his fingers between their hair, pushing them down onto his shaft. In instinct they covered their mouth with their hand and swallowed. They positioned their mask back like it used to, covering the bottom half of their face.

"i guess i should keep my promise, you've been really good, you didn't even touch yourself, nice" he patted their head, untangling their hair and patting down.

He grabbed their hips, resting them on his lap. They wrapped their arms and rested them on his shoulders "i still hate you, you know? I ain't gonna forget about this just because you touched me good, you'll need to work harder to make me like you" they traced the middle of his mask, tracing their finger down his nose and lips while he grabbed their thighs, slowly grinding them on him.

Erron rested them on the bed, placing himself between their legs. "please go slowly, it's my first time" their voice barely a whisper. He cupped their mask tilting their head to look at him "don't worry darling, daddy's gonna be gentle with you"

Erron rubbed the tip to their opening, slowly inserting himself about halfway through. Gantz winces in pain while trying to get used to his size "are you alright? I'll start to move" they nodded.

He moved in a slow pace at first "you're doing good, fuck you're tight, you're practically sucking me in"

Of course with The Hacker nothing can be wholesome, not even for a while "I'm going to BREAK YOU" Gantz's eyes went wide as Erron sped up his pace making rougher.

"NO NO WAIT DON'T!" they tried to stop him but can't. He holds their hips with a tight grip surely leaving bruises the next morning.

Their breaths were heavy as the pain started to turn into pleasure. One of his hands cupped their one of their breasts while he moved his mask away from his mouth to suck and lick on the other, swirling around the sensitive bud.

With a scrape of the teeth, Gantz's back arched with a sharp inhale. They wrapped their legs around him as he pounded their pussy into an overstimulated mess. They circled their clit with their pointer finger trying to reach their orgasm.

As Erron noticed, he grabbed their wrists "i said no cumming until i say so" holding both of their wrists together in one hand he raised it up above their head but by accident it had hit one of the filter of their mask, taking it off of them.

As soon as they noticed they hid their face behind their hands "NO, don't look at me! Let me put it back on please!"

Displeased, Erron grabbed their wrists harder, successfully putting them above their head. Their face was as clear as day, with the lights from outside making them seem to glow. He moved their bangs that covered their eye now being able to see their dual colored eye but that doesn't seem to be the thing that saddened them, in the left corner of their mouth was a small scar and bruise and a larger scar coming from the bottom right of their cheek and almost reaching the corner of theri left eye and over their nose. They looked tired, black circle around their eyes, seemingly busted lips, bruises on one eye and lips.

"What's wrong? Afraid i won't like you cuz of your face? Well it fits you doll face" they looked shocked, they tried to look for a hint of sarcasm in his eyes but couldn't "it's not about that, it's to hide my identity and shit, and ya got cameras on ya that can give ya evidence, and i don't know what you'll do with that info!"

"Stop lying baby girl, it's obvious you're trying to hide it from me, though you are smart about not trusting me but believe me when i say i have them off" he smirked, planting a kiss on their lips before moving down to their neck.

He started to gain pace, as rough as the last one but now the pain was gone. They closed their eyes and letting quiet moans spilling out from their lips.

Sloppy sounds of skin hitting eachother filled the room. A concoction of cuss words can be heard from one another.

Erron's rhythm started to get uneven, his grip on them was tightening. "i-oh god, fuck I'm gonna cum!" they said between sets of moans and heavy breathing. "shit, go ahead cum for daddy" he bit down ons their shoulders and sheathing himself to the hilt.

Seconds had passed before he pulled out, letting the cum and blood spill out from them.

"i guess i can tolerate you for a bit longer" their voice was slurred, they closed their eyes, letting their tiredness to knock them out.

"sleep tight princess" he nuzzles their face and slowly resting them right on the bed.

The next morning their body was aching, they grabbed their phone on the night stand besides them "huh? Wait a sec I'M GOING TO BE LATE!" they threw off their blanket, trying to stand up before being stopped by Erron.

"Don't worry, payed your boss. I said i needed you to help me film a girl getting gutted but it was just so you can stay with me this weekend" Erron was leaning on the desk, fully clothes and ready for the day. "Yo if my capo founds out he's gonna kill you" he patted their head to calm them down.

"Don't worry he's not going too, now what do you want for breakfast?" he grabbed the room service menu and handed it to them, they looked at him with suspicion even tilting their head "why are you even doing this? You usually just left the girls you fuck so what's the difference?"

"Cuz you're mine, and no one can take you from me"

#oc #originalcharacter #Not my oc #OCxOC #My writing #Cavalier Gantz

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coffeebeannate · 4 years ago

Note

thoughts on the old guard characters? (a long one I know lol)

HO BOY.

I LOVE long asks when I have the braincells! *He says, as if he ever has braincells*

ANYWAY.

I’m going to go with just the movie for now, since I’ve only read the first volume of the comics yet and there’s definitely some changes.

This post is long, so I put all my brain rambles beneath the cut.

I also cheated and only did the Guard themselves for some brevity, if you want extensions with Copley, etc. I’ll do a part two :)

Andy/ Andromache the Scythian

ANDY. ANDY. ANDY ANDYYYYYYYYYYY.

I love her. I love her SO MUCH. I regret that I never really explore her as much as I want to. Because there is just SO MUCH THERE. There is so much to work with, to explore to understand and to see. I adore her. She’s jaded, but she’s also clearly somewhat passionate in her own way. Something has kept her going this long. She loves her family. She is at her most open and honest and vulnerable with her family!

The world gets a facade, her calm, collective glance of ‘I don’t give a fuck but I actually do give a fuck but letting you know I give a fuck makes things complicated’. But when she’s with Nicky and Joe, (and Booker), she’s laughing, she’s enjoying their company. She looks so happy and instantly relaxes and I JUST!!

I love that she’s not some 19 year old (possible ageism). I love that they let a 45 year old actress play a character who is clearly over 30 and very much badass. The whole ‘only young women or very old women in movies’ trope is so old, so overdone. (And I’m still salty about this person who said it’s bullshit to see ‘grandma Charlize beating up men twice her size’, as if Liam Nesson doesn’t do just that in his seventies BUT ANYWAY).

Andy is SO multilayered. She’s clearly struggling, and she’s angry and cynical and OH so fucking tired, but she’s still VERY LOVING. She cares about Nile, she cares about her family, she CARES. She’s allowed to be upset! She’s allowed to be ugly emotionally (as they might say it in Hollywood, ffs), she’s allowed to be angry and happy and sweet and she has agency and vulnerability and I JUST LOVE THAT.\

She can also step on me I mean what.

ANYWAY.

Nile Freeman

NILE. NILE MADAM.

Nile is just a MARVEL. She’s sweet. She’s caring. She has ALL the heart and takes NONE of the shit!! There’s so much to her. She’s devoted (I really love that she’s religious, and that the movie doesn’t take this away from her, regardless of things that happen). I love how utterly devoted she is. I love that she’s able to retain so much of her own personal autonomy, AND that she’s both scared and confused, but also SECURE.

Nile doesn’t know WTF is happening. First kill in the Marines, very sudden death, you have a brand new family? Oh, you also can’t see your family again? Your mother and brother? Oh and this lady with the bizarre name has effectively kidnapped you so you can’t be shipped to a lab in Germany? THE FUCK.

Kiki does such a MAGNIFICENT job too! Like the amount of emotions she conveys!! All of Nile’s confusion, anger, upset. Hurt. How throughout all this, she’s shown as street smart! Clever! ADPATABLE.

Nile becomes something ‘new’ but retains her original personality entirely. And I LOVE that. She is young, but she isn’t babied. She’s allowed to be guided without being considered infantile. She’s allowed to be here whole self and it’s SO GOOD.

Also, you wake up in a Humvee in the desert and your first instinct is to kick the back end out and roll away? And then stab your kidnapper?? AMAZING.

I love that she’s an art nerd. I love her enthusiasm, I love her heart. I love her cleverness. I love how she can be a bit “wtf’ but also flat out doesn’t take ANYONE’S bullshit EVER.

“We’re not going to Paris” HELL MA’AM GUESS WE ARE NOT.

Sebastien Le Livre/ Booker

(Rucka once again I ask you, was that name only for the punning? Because I love puns to but cmon)

So..Booker.

I’m..I’m not neutral, but I tend to not think about him much beyond what is necessary. I think I’d feel that my thoughts on him are ‘complicated’ so I’ll keep his section short. I WILL say that his character is VERY well written. Booker cannot be called a flat character. And maybe I’m naive, but my first time watching the movie? Yeah, totally goddamned BLINDSIDED. And I give the movie a LOT of credit for that.

Maybe smarter people saw it coming, but I sure didn’t. So hey, kudos.

I understand him. I understand his motivations. And for a person suffering from that kind of depression, the toxic sabotaging kind, yeah. It’s well done. His motives are..his motives. I’ll probably not ever know what it feels like to outlive your children. But lots of my family members did. I get how it destroys you.

However, Booker needs help. And it’s on Booker, IMO, to get that help, outside of his family. Because he hurt them. He hurt them badly. It’s not the kind of thing you just come back from.

Consider my attitude..curious.

Joe/Yusuf Al-Kaysani

I can’t make this too long I can’t make this too long I can’t-

JOE. Is a MARVELOUS MAN. He’s soft. He’s artistic. He’s strong and sweet and his entire face lights up like the actual honest to god sun that he IS. I love how much he loves. I love how compassionate he is. I love his passion. His soft voice. His kind caring attitude.

BUT AS A FLIP SIDE.

I love how badass he is. I go slightly feral from the bullet spitting ‘very pissed off’. DARLING, NO KIDDING. I love how he’s just got this kinda hidden swag element. He is so clearly the life source of every room he enters. Show stealer. He’s the one that makes people feel comfortable immediately. With charm and boastfulness. With just such great WARMTH. Joe feels like a fireplace. You just want to curl up with him.

He cares so much about the world. His husband. His family.

THE SPEECH??

Imagine someone LOOKING AT YOU THAT WAY. No wonder Nicky is downright wavering on us. I’D FAINT.

Joe seems to love the world around him so much. And yeah, okay, he holds out with justified anger. (I SUPPORT THIS ANGER), but he’s also clearly affectionate. He’s open with his love. Joe literally wears his heart on his sleeve. You KNOW how Joe is feeling at all times. Because Joe can’t hide it. And if you have his love and friendship, you have it forever.

Joe could do audiobooks. Joe could paint museums full of paintings.

And those curls? Best. Incredible.

Marwan made Joe into such an incredible character I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOUR SIR I LOVE HIM.

Nicky/ Nicolò di Genova

Ahhh Joe’s other half. Man of few words, but when those words come out they cut and say so DAMNED MUCH. And what isn’t said vocally is always said with a look, a smile. MICRO EXPRESSIONS THAT SPEAK THE WORLD.

Nicky seems like such an aware character. Nicky is the type that makes very conscious decisions every single day. Be kind. Daily. This is not the type of man who does anything lightly. I feel like Nicky is a calculated sort, but with EVERYTHING. Because he KNOWS that your presence in this world makes an impact. He knows how important being self-aware is. He feels so lucky and grateful to be with Joe and his family at all times.

I LOVE HIS SNIPING. I love his outfits! I love how intense and sweet and compassionate he is. I feel like he has some little shit energy. Doing something slightly devious? Probably. Having ideas just because? Damned right! I can only imagine how much dry teasing Joe has endured over the centuries. Because Nicky is just so raw and clever. You can never be entirely sure what he’s thinking, perhaps. Joe can read him like a book, but I think anyone else might be finding themselves looking a touch harder. Just in case.

I love Luca’s accent! I love how competent Nicky is! He loves Joe just as openly too, and I adore it??

“The love of my life was the people I’ve been taught to hate” THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE! AND THAT TINY SMILE! THE SMILE OF A THOUSAND WORDS.

Quynh

Boss. I want more immediately. I NEED MORE.

Lykon

RIP we barely knew ya.

Final Thoughts:

I LOVE THESE CHARACTERS SO MUCH.

I love that we got ALL THIS.

In TWO DAMNED HOURS.

I love the thoughts the actors put forth. I love how dedicated everyone was to this movie. I love how there’s so much from what could have gone so wrong.

I LOVE THEM!!

#the old guard #thoughts on the old guard #nate answers things #ok to rebagel #I LOVE THEM ALL YOUR HONOUR #old guard characters #asks #ask #THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK SORRY IT'S SO LONG #nilefreemans

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toffee-pops-are-great · 5 years ago

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DR Couple Shorts Prt 1/?

I’ll be posting a bunch of shorts for various Danganronpa ships in the coming weeks. All of them wholesome. Just thought it might be nice to write something sweet during this difficult time. All the best everyone! Kuzupeko will be next.

Hajime & Chiaki

It was late.

In fact, it was so late that it was early.

Any minute now the sun would rise and ruin the perfect serenity of the suburban street at night. The occasional chirp of a bird rising for the sun was the only sound heard. That… and Chiaki’s warm breaths in Hajime’s ear.

“Are we almost home?” Chiaki asked as she rested her chin atop Hajime’s shoulder.

Hajime repositioned her on his back to better carry her before he answered. “Almost… you doing okay?”

Chiaki sighed, “yeah... Just tired.”

“That’s fair.” Hajime chuckled. “You have the time?”

Chiaki pulled her phone out of her black and blue handbag. The string strap leisurely thrown over her shoulder. She was relived to have still found it there, glad it had not been lost or stolen throughout the night.

She turned her phone on to find the screen blinding her with its obnoxious radiance. Through squinted eyes, she made out the time.

“It’s quarter past five…”

They both sighed.

“Clubbing sucks…” Chiaki pouted. “Why did we even go in the first place?”

“Cause they wanted us to.” Hajime answered.

Chiaki groaned as she scratched at the multi-coloured glitter that covered any exposed skin it could latch onto. She could feel the bags under her eyes weigh down her entire face. Worst of all, she could smell the lingering scent of alcohol and sweat that permeated her clothing.

Frankly, the night sucked. Chiaki hated every second.

The loud, bass boosted drone of shitty pop music that made her ears ring. The creepy mouth breather who kept following her. Her brand-new high heels breaking while in a cesspit of sweaty dancers. The disgusting piss-stained bathrooms that looked like something out of the middle ages and atop all that, she had to pay for it. Losing nearly $80 between club entry fees and drinks for the night.

Money that could have gone toward a plethora of micro-transactions now fattened the wallet of some sleazy club owner.

Chiaki audibly groaned, noticing how little progress they had made down the street. Although she didn’t let her motive be known, as she didn’t want to seem unappreciative of the piggyback that Hajime was giving her.

“Hey Chi…” Hajime began as he turned his head to face her. “I’m really proud of you.”

“Huh!? Why’s that?”

“You went out tonight knowing you would have a terrible time but did it anyway. Not only that, you gave it your all. You got dressed up, spent a bunch of money on drinks and even wore high heels. So… I’m proud of you. We all appreciate it.”

Chiaki noticed her cheeks getting red, but thankfully Hajime couldn’t see them in the lukewarm darkness.

“You’re wrong. I just… didn’t want to be left out.”

Hajime nodded, but somehow through his movement he conveyed that he didn’t believe her.

A sudden familiar vibration buzzed in her pant pocket. Chiaki took out her phone and turned it back on to see a new message had arrived in the group chat. She opened it to find a picture from earlier in the night.

It was of herself, Ibuki and Sonia sitting in a booth at a bar they went to at the end of the night. A pitcher of beer sat between them on a dark wooded table. Both Sonia and Ibuki had massive, all-encompassing grins, and Chiaki even recognised a slight smile of her own.

Another message was quick to follow.

“I had such an amazing time tonight! Thank you so much, everyone! :) Now this princess needs some hay to hit!”

“See, told you so.” Hajime smirked as he tapped at his phone.

Chiaki sighed and typed out a reply.

“Me too. Thanks for inviting me. Good night.”

“Shut up.” Chiaki groaned as she put her device away.

“What? I didn’t say anything!”

“I can hear you thinking it.”

Hajime chuckled. “What are you psychic?”

“Yes. And you have big, dumb, loud thoughts.”

“Sorry! Sorry!” Hajime replied, amused.

The sun now shone over the horizon. Its irradiated glow masking the landscape in a tapestry of luminosity. Beams of daylight shot out between fence posts, windows and in between the leaves of trees.

Chiaki hid her face behind Hajime’s shoulder and closed her eyes, fearful of the picturesque landscape swelling into view before her. The next time she opened them, they were back home. The awe inducing sight of their glorious queen-sized bed nearly brought her to tears.

She climbed off Hajime’s back and gurgled a “thank you” as she collapsed upon it.

“Makeup.” Hajime called out as he emptied his pockets onto the bedside table.

Chiaki growled. “I’ll just get acne. I don’t carrrreeee…”

“At least take off your dress! It’ll get mangled if you sleep in it.” Hajime knew he had to move quick before he lost her consciousness to the queen. He unzipped her back before going to change clothes himself.

Chiaki wriggled out of it, using as few muscles as humanly possible. “Daaannkkk yyooouuu…” Chiaki slurred into the sheets.

“Hey Chi!” Hajime called out from their en suite. “Heads up!”

A damp, warm washcloth then hit her square in the face. Hajime giggled to himself, which made her wonder if hitting her with it was his intention. She sighed and squeezed the warm water against her cheek which revitalized her enough to get out of bed and join Hajime in the bathroom where he was brushing his teeth.

They each went through their individual rituals of getting ready for bed. But as Hajime went to exit their en suite, he got interrupted by Chiaki blocking his path.

“Chi?” Hajime asked, confused.

She didn’t move an inch, only squinting her eyes harder and cementing her pout further.

“What!?”

Suddenly, like a grand secret had been revealed, did Chiaki groan and shake both her fists. “I knew it! You didn’t take your medication, did you!?”

A timid squeak escaped from Hajime’s throat as his shoulders sloped. “How did you even…?”

“I told you! I’m psychic!”

“Look… I’m fine, okay! I don’t need it!”

“No! The doctor said you have to take it every day!”

Hajime stood there speechless for a moment. Before he laughed with a sore smile.

“Of all the things to remember, you remembered something like that…?”

“…” Chiaki poked her finger into his stomach. “That’s cuz I love you, dummy…”

Hajime knew there would be no dissuading her. With a heavy sigh, Hajime walked to his makeshift bedside table made up of a broken Wii stacked upon a plastic box. He picked up the small cardboard packet labelled ‘fluoxetine’ and took two.

“Happy?”

But when Hajime looked over, expecting to see Chiaki snoozily standing there, she wasn’t. It was a rare instance where he could see genuine anger in her eyes, not an annoyed frustration that she would have whenever she got mad. This was something far more.

“I shouldn’t have to tell you.”

Hajime didn’t know what to say and only managed a meek, “oh…”

“Promise me you will take it every day.”

“I mean I’ll try…”

Chiaki shook her head and took a step forward. “No! Promise me you will remember to take them every single day!”

“Okay…” Hajime gulped. “I promise.”

“Good! You promised so now you have to!” Chiaki smiled as she trotted to her bed and wrapped herself into a burrito with the sheets.

Hajime giggled to himself as he watched her head poke out from between the blankets.

“What are you waiting for?” Chiaki asked as she beamed at him with an enormous smile.

“Hey Chi…” Hajime gathered whatever sheets were left and climbed into bed next to her.

“What is it?”

“You wanna sleep in and spend the entire day in our pjs?”

“Really? You mean it!?”

“Yeah, neither of us have work tomorrow so a lazy day sounds fantastic to me! Are you inter-“

Without warning, a big sloppy kiss melted into Hajime’s lips. “YES!” Chiaki hugged her arms around his mid-section like a koala around a tree. “You had me at sleep in.”

#danganronpa #chiaki namani #hajime hinata #sdr2 #super danganronpa 2 #hajime x chiaki #hinanami

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we-love-the-murder-bois · 6 years ago

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The slashers with a narcoleptic s/o

(Cause, why not?)

Jason

He worries about you getting hurt a lot

Like, what if you fall asleep and hurt yourself on the grounds? Get hurt by an animal, or -gasp- attacked by an intruder?!

With you constantly at the risk of being vulnerable, Jason is always close by. It’s the only way you’re allowed to leave the cabin.

You fall asleep on Jason a lot. (He loves it)

You have fallen asleep in a tree multiple times, each time giving Jason a heart attack and a hell of a time getting you down.

You are not allowed in the woods alone by any means, just in case.

Jason refuses to leave you alone near a fire, too risky.

Michael

It was pretty confusing at first, how tired you always were.

He knew you slept at night (because he watched you, like a creep) so why were you so tired?

After you fell asleep while cooking and were saved by Micheal keeping you from burning yourself on the stove, you explained narcolepsy to him.

Ooh boy overprotective mode activated.

He followed you everywhere anyways, but now you’re literally never alone.

Cooking and dealing with sharp objects must be supervised.

Instead of waking you he just moves you to the nearest soft surface and lets you sleep, cause you look too peaceful to disturb.

He has prevented several fires because of your naps in the middle of making toast or something.

You can’t even be alone showering anymore, and while you don’t terribly mind, him standing stock still in the corner while you shower can be awkward.

You fall asleep during sex, a lot.

Freddy

He’s fucking t h r i l l e d.

No matter the time of day, you’ll pop in.

Usually followed by an angry curse.

Freddy often has to force you awake because of the place you fell asleep in and the potential danger- though it is not without its complaints.

Because of your constant nodding off and micro naps during the day, you flicker in and out of the dreamscape a lot.

He takes full advantage of the time he gets.

You have accidentally dragged him back to the real world multiple times from waking up from your less deep sleeps.

He is never amused.

After you burned yourself awake he has taken to checking your mind first to make sure you’re not going to die or hurt yourself while sleeping.

He gets pissed when someone wakes you up and takes you away from him.

Thomas

He’s very protective when he finds out.

You are not allowed out in the scrapyard or shed alone, it case you fall asleep around all the pointy things and bear traps.

You make an effort to only relax when you're with Thomas, but as always, there are slip ups.

After an escapee found your sleeping body against one of the cars and tried to ‘rescue you’ Thomas became way more protective.

A family member should have eyes on you at all times.

You can’t go in the basement, even with Thomas. It’s not safe with all the sharp and pointy things.

You are very hard to wake up, so the rest of the family just lets Thomas do it.

He hates disturbing you, so if you don’t wake up after a few tried, you just get to sleep.

Luda Mae is on food duty to make sure you don’t sleep through meals, if you don’t show, it’s time to hunt you down from wherever you curled up.

Brahms

Why are you like this?

It messes up Brahms schedule sometimes, and that makes him grouchy.

You try your best though, and he grudgingly respects that.

He constantly looms over your shoulder to watch over you.

You are either poked awake by an upset Brahms or wake up covered in every soft thing Brahms could find, including but not limited to: blankets, his cardigans, your clothes, a curtain, sheets, pillows, and the occasional couch cushion or stuffed animal.

You love it.

On the bright side, you almost always fall asleep on his after his goodnight kiss, so he doesn’t even need to bug you to stay.

“No Brahms, you cannot watch me shower.”

“But you could fall! I just want to keep you safe, Y/n. Please?”

Brahms will even follow you to check the traps because he doesn’t want you sleeping on the dirty ground.

You usually wake up with the doll carefully placed in your arms, to keep you safe.

If there’s a break in the schedule, Brahms may deign himself to curl up with you.

(He totally victim blames you after, the brat.)

Bonus: Best places they’ve found you in

Jason: Curled up in a canoe.

Michael: Behind the couch.

Freddy: You once popped in and promptly freaked out because the last thing you remembered was meeting with your boss.

Thomas: The kitchen floor, spooning a bloody apron.

Brahms: half in a passageway, half out.

#slasher imagines #slashers x reader #jason vorhees x reader #michael myers x reader #thomas hewitt x reader #brahms x reader #freddy krueger x reader

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commandersmoothdog · 5 years ago

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The episode with Rachel’s mom always pissed me off. I’m a huge No Rachel For Danny person but this went beyond what I ship. It’s not even about shipping McDanno. It’s about the writers for whatever fucking reason during those couple of seasons that were trying to put some distance between Steve and Danny. Like idk why and it’s been a while since I’ve seen them but from I think there was so little interaction between them that was meaningful compared to other seasons that they...they weren’t the best.

But that particular episode...not only did this woman get some sort of power via guilt, shame, money or blackmail...get her daughter’s ex-husband to be her bodyguard(Like there are private sectors and other agencies. She didn’t need Danny specifically. And who after a breakup as bad as theirs, and let’s not forget earlier seasons when Danny’s ringtone for Rachel was the Psycho theme, still keeps in contact with their children’s ex’s? It was a power play to humiliate Danny and I fucking hated it, hated her, and hated Rachel more)

But the CRIME of the century...was having Steve enjoy it as much as he did.

Not only that, but let it go on beyond the point of jesting. To not stick up for him in front of him. Yeah, it’s all well and good that he did so afterward

BUT

Steve’s a goddamn soldier. A SEAL. His team mates are like his brothers. I don’t care if you ship McDanno romantically or platonically, Danny is Steve’s second in command. NO WAY in the seven hells would Steve sit there and not protect or defend his best friend, his Danno, from enemy fire.

That was a horrible hit to Steve’s character and person as a whole. Some might argue that ‘oh Steve knew/thought it was all in jest and poking fun’ and ‘Steve’s not emotionally mature enough to full understand that level of playfulness’ and no, bull! Maybe season 1 Steve might have had a harder time seeing the line between joking and cruelty but this wasn’t season 1 Steve. This was season 9 Steve! He’s had his Ohana for nearly a decade and has learned to integrate more into civilian life and learn about subtly and the fine lines of human interaction.

AND he’s boasted about knowing all about Danny. Which is true...so he would have seen the markers, the micro-expressions that would have told him how genuinely uncomfortable Danny was. How hurt he actually was...and for Steve to do nothing until after Danny was CHASED AWAY???

Fuck Rachel and her family. I said what I said. Feel free to disagree but...that episode hurt Danny’s feelings and it hurt Steve’s character.

#Hawaii 5-0 #Rant #Venting #No Rachel #Anti Rachel Edwards #Hawaii 5-0 9.18 #9.18 #McDanno #Steve McGarrett #Danny 'Danno' Williams #Amanda Savage #im salty #i said what i said

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dekuinthelake · 5 years ago

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Why I’m okay with people knowing I’m transgender

Firstly, I want to start off by saying that if you’re trans and for your own comfort and safety you don’t want to be “outed” that’s 100% understandable and you should not feel bad about that. We all need to move at our own pace when discovering our social limits and confidence. My journey will have not been the same as yours. I live in Colorado, a state that is fairly trans friendly and am a trans man, meaning I’ve most likely had a safer time than I might have elsewhere. Trans women have it especially difficult, and if you feel unsafe in a situation that’s up for you to gage. It doesn’t make you less valid or a coward or anything like that.

Just know that I’m writing this for you and other trans/nb folks. I want our choices to transition to feel like the right one, even when people who don’t understand are making you second guess.

Context:

From the time I was 16-23, I was immensely depressed. I dropped out of highschool because of an immense disillusionment for the future. Primarily, I believed I didn’t have one. I’d always been bad at school, so collage was out of the question. I thought I was too ugly to get married and so that traditional Mormon thing my mother specifically had impressed upon me, which was having kids obviously. Most people disliked me because at the time, I had an extremely aggressive and compulsive attitude thanks to being absolutely lost emotionally. I hated my body and my mind and was convinced the things I despised could never change.

Ironically, one of the thorns in my side was how I always wanted to be a man instead. I recall coming home from school some days and just curling up in bed and sobbing about it.

“If I was a boy, people wouldn’t make fun of my ugly ass body.” Something I felt primarily about my chest. Once I strangled a kid for pointing out my bra strap through a white shirt. No joke. I was volatile and pissed all the time because of dysphoria. Comments about being feminine quite literally triggered me growing up. Every violent fight I remember growing up was caused by someone making fun of me in relation to female gender.

Despite this problem being so obvious, my religious parents took me to Mormon operated therapy. The suggestions I was given by councilors was typically “Have you tried praying about it?” Or “Are you going to Young Women’s every Sunday?” For those of you who don’t know, in the LDS church, they separate Sunday school for age groups based on gender. In particular, they forced all girls to wear dresses.

Having that identity forced on me every Sunday against my will from a very young age caused me to resist in aggressive attitude. Hit a kid in the face with my bible bag once for telling me I should be in the kitchen.

Another unfortunate side effect of the Mormon upbringing was literally not knowing that trans people even existed. I recall seeing trans people (like with waiter we had once) and being a little perplexed but not too bothered. But no one had ever explained the concept to me until much, much later.

After I had dropped out, a friend of mine came out and at the time the concept was alien. I’d spent so much time in my life trying to choke down any hope of being a guy because of religion it seemed impossible to even change genders. But then a mutual friend between me and my trans one (who is now my roommate) explained to me in a car ride I still remember vividly about what testosterone does to your body. Bit of a side note, but the ‘micro phalus’ thing was something I straight didn’t believe and OH BOY LMAOOOO.

Anyway, with that information now tumbling around on my mind... I accepted my friend and continued to ignore my obvious feelings!

Life marched on. I sunk in to gaming addiction, depression, and repression. I think I first tried to kill my self when I was 20 years old. I had quit my job thanks to a car crash I got in to and sunk in to doing absolutely nothing but playing MMOs for months. Eventually I just convinced myself there was no possible way my life could anything meaningful or productive. I had a fairly unhelpful stay in a mental hospital. I got out, got a job at the Denver zoo as a janitor.

I coasted for a few years there. That job taught me a lot. People skills, how to work hard, how to care about the future... And one of my coworkers was a trans man. We didn’t talk much about his transition. Mostly we just talked about cool things at work and how shitty customers were.

I think that kind of interaction was so important to me. To everyone, him being trans was just natural. No one cared and he seemed pretty happy.

With that information I started to do a bit of research on my own. I’m not sure how many months of consideration I had before coming out subtly to my current roommate in a car.

At the time, pondering coming out to everyone around me and having to confront my body every day in mirrors I cleaned for a living became a sort of hell. I worked the 4am shift and had no one to talk to for the entire duration of my work day, leaving me with lots of time to watch videos and think. I mean I mentally battled myself to the point I was in a lot of pain. So I started taking pain killers, mood stabilizers, drinking, and smoking weed in excess. Since I worked in the dark alone, no one would know how fucked up I was. The primary wrench in me finally accepting my own needs was again that feeling of hopelessness. The process of transition seemed so intimidating. It’s expensive. It will take effort. What if I fuck this or that up?

Early 2017, I tried to kill myself again after months of tormenting myself. I remember when they put me in the ICU and asked for my name, I told them Mike instead of my now dead name. The nurses asked if I had a pronoun preference and I just couldn’t say anything at all. But the chart whiteboad hanging on the wall in front of my bed said “Mike’s”. Everyone who came to visit me saw this. In a way, I had forced myself to come out. My stay in the mental hospital provided the same information as the last, but this time I was more ready to accept it.

One of the exercises we did was write plans for the future. Before, I had left it blank. But this time? I had goals. One of them was to come out officially in a far less destructive fashion. My dad seemed to accept it but not fully support. Due to family tensions that were somewhat unrelated to coming out, I ended up moving out in Late September 2018.

Soon everyone in my personal life knew. I got laid off with my entire department at the zoo. I remember coming out to some of my coworkers based on how religious they were the last day. My next job, I introduced myself as Mike and even got a name tag.

At the end of 2018 I started on hormones after a battle to get ahold of a doctor. Since then, I’ve been a lot happier.

I’ve lost over 100lbs and started working out.

I’m currently working the highest paying job I’ve ever had.

I’m living in an apartment with people I really care about.

The people I keep around me accept my pronouns and are proud of me coming out.

I’ve grown a mustache I love so much I can’t bare to shave it.

The power of self actualization

In every respect, coming out and presenting myself in exactly the way I want to has improved my life. For me that included medically transitioning. It’s like I finally have something to look forward to. All the little changes make me excited and more confident in what I like every day.

Even minor things like clothing are now these exciting vehicles of self expression. I never used to buy things I liked since my parents controlled what I was and was not aloud to wear. And even when I got my own money, those standards forced upon me by Mormonism held me back. Every pay check has more meaning when I’m replacing the old life that I hated so much. I seriously love this tiger shirt I got.

I’m proud to tell people I’m trans because finally admitting to myself has improved my life and mental health and unimaginable degree. I went from wanting to die basically at all times to having excitement for what comes next. I’m enjoying activities that I never would have before. Going to gay bars and dancing has been so enriching for me and I absolutely never would have done that before when I was all angry and bristly.

Being trans can be such a possitive experience. It’s freedom. It’s being able to live your life comfortably.

I know there are a lot of people who don’t understand or don’t want to because of their upbringing... and if you are one of those people who managed to read all this, please know they if you’re anti-trans, you’re anti-freedom of expression, anti-mental health, and anti-social.

Coming out was like removing a clog from my life. I’ve FINALLY been able to start living. And that’s something I want people to know about me. I felt dead before I changed my name and pronouns.

By the way. I’m Mike. He/him. 25. And I’m not going to try and kill my self ever again because I’m enjoying my big trans life.👌

#long post #trans #transgender #pride #trans pride #guess this is my new years post #HAPPY NEW YEARS

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dsmroleplay · 4 years ago

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#SweetTorture #DSM Part Two #BDB #RP

Written by: @TohrmentNLoss & @TridentsPen

Bitty: *I felt like my body had been hallowed out. Nothing but darkness swirled in my body. There was nothing left inside of me. My heart was ripped from my body. I was drowning in the blood that poured out of me. I couldn’t breathe, I screamed and no one would hear me. Only the dead would hear me. And some fucking help the dead are. They would just hover and watch as a person broke apart.

Her tiny fingers stroked the cold stone. I never thought in my long life I would have lost my family, all in one night. That my dad, would look so cold to me. I could still feel the coldness. The way that he locked down and walked away. That broke me in ways that I don’t know if I ever come back from.

Worse of all, the one female in my life. That I had let into my heart, she promised that she would never leave me. That she would stay behind when my dad went into the fade. I would never would be alone. I would never suffer the loss of another. She’s gone and I never got to say goodbye. To hug her one last time, to tell her that I loved her. Would that have changed her mind? Would I have been able to say something, anything to stop her? I would never know the the answers to those questions. She made up her mind to leave. To walk away from dad..me.

A deep sob broke from my lips. I curled harder into mud. I didn’t understand. I couldn’t wrap my head around the loss of my whole world.

The smell of baby powder softly tickled my nose. I paid it no mind. I had nothing left in the world.

A prick to my skin barely registered. I could feel the drug or whatever it was course through my body. I let it take me. With each part of my body that relaxed. The faces of my family flashed before my eyes. Phantoms of my mind, each ripped from my fingers. Mom’s smiling face flashed before my eyes, I tried to reach out, but my body was heavy. I couldn’t reach her as she was ripped from me. The last to flash before me, my dad. His bright teal eyes, a smile on his face, I fought to try and reach him. But it was no use. He was ripped from me, and darkness took me.

I felt nothing, darkness pulled me deeper and deeper. I had nothing felt, I was alone. A single tear fell from my cheek as I fell into a dark dreamless sleep.* ::::::::::::::::::: Forelesser: Lesser: -Put in a steel-reinforced room with a toilet and sleeping bag on the floor. Completed with a drain in the center of the room and a chain and hook coming down from the ceiling. Most that entered this room was removed in pieces or death. The forelesser sent men to guard the doors and plenty of security outside, JJ stood with glee in his eyes if it was really possible to feel much of anything but hey they couldn't wipe out muscle memory. Pulls a zippo from his pocket flicking it open and giving the wheel a crank lights up a smoke thinking about what he was going to do to the little bitty thing they've captured so easily if the Brothers where this lax in security then he and his pals could end their asses for good. Turning up the music till the music resonated against the walls, head nodding in time with the jams.

Smoke hanging from his lip as he took his shirt off and laid it on the table picking up a kit, he wanted to keep the vampire pliable. Lifting the steel lock and opening the door, she was still out that was good this would be easier. Kneeling by her body he picked up her arm and tied it off with an elastic band. Opening the foil not knowing how much for sure but putting enough of the heroine into the spoon it seriously kill a human. Balancing the spoon he took his lighter out hitting up the metal watching the solid melt and turn into a discolored yellow color. Taking the hypodermic needle out taking the cap off, putting the needle into the fluid draws it up into the tube. Once down he taps the woman's arm looking for a vein. Finding the brachial he inserts the needle a little testing to see if he gets a backflow of blood. Score! Got it on the first go. Pushing the heroin into her vein, once down he puts it back into the kit. Pulling up enough to get her wrists shackled overhead and secure it. Now how long would it take for the vampire to wake up and would that heroin keep her laid back enough to enjoy the torture he had planned. The Omega was aware of the capture and had rewarded JJ with some fun time with her till the final plan was put in place.

She hung there limp and he stroked her shiny black hair, if he were still human he'd had wanted to tap this for sure but all that life was gone. Now he served a higher purpose, these vampires were infesting the world and he like many others had been chosen as the great protectors of the humans. They'd been promised so much for their faithful service and no one would go against the Omega because his level of play would be what JJ would consider hell in the flesh. Vampire and Lesser pitied against each other for all time, "Fuck that", JJ wanted out of this shit so he could go do his own thing although he didn't realize there was no life waiting for him but this. Aggressive and ambitious he'd risen fast through the ranks because he believed if he pleased the Omega he'd reward him.

Walking out of the solid cell he hooked up a roll of firefighter hose to city water tanker just out back in the alley and had one of the guys turn it on. She had dirt all over her and he was sure she'd appreciate being clean? I mean women need to look their best for their owners, picking up a knife he cut her clothes off. Such a tiny thing she was, she'd made a killin' at pulling trix's for him. Backing up he picked up the nozzle and opened it full blast, the water pressurized would hurt like a bitch and erode skin slowly away and cause micro-fractures in the new flesh above the dead skin cells.- WAKE UP BITCH! BATH TIME! ::::::::::::::: Bitty: *The sweet silence of the darkness. There was no pain, no broken heart, no feeling of loss. A loss of my family, a family that was meant to be. But now it wasn’t. That broke something inside of me. That I never thought would break. Even knocked out, the anger I had, boiled beneath the surface. It was easier to hate, then it was to deal with the pain. I hold onto the hate and anger, that course through my body, like a poison. It would eat alive the last of who I am, and what I was meant to be.

As I floated in the darkness, pain started to register, cold washed over my body. As my skin burned. It burned like that of acid against my skin.

I fought to open my eyes and i didn’t know why. Gritting my teeth, as my eyes opened. Blasted with cold water. The assault on my body made me want to scream. But I had has pain worse then this. I would bare it, and not show any feelings. That was easy, they were locked away anyways.

As the water covered my body, shaking, head hang. I barely could lift my own head. Eyes cold and hallow see the blurry image of a man. A hint of baby powder tickled my nose. My voice flat, I forced the words through my teeth.* is that all you got, you dick less fuck. *my words a little slurred.* Can’t expect anything to bright from the likes of you. *a growled rolled through my chest.* Might want to try harder. *i smirked through the assault. I didn’t care if pissed off the lesser. What did I have left to lose? Nothing.* :::::::::::::: Forelesser: -JJ looked at the bitch with a sneer.- What a mouth you have on you little vampire... your Daddy must be so proud. -He laid the hose down and went over and backhanded her. Then punched her in the guy.- No wonder the Omega wants you dead. You are a filthy abomination. You'd be dead already but you're bait. We'll see how much of a smart mouth you have once we play more. Do you think you're in pain? Poor little Bitty? You haven't seen pain yet. But all in good time. ::::::::: Bitty: *Face unreadable, I hung in the middle of the room. Tingling pain raced all over my flesh. I almost smirked, but I didn’t have it in me at the moment. At the mention of my dad, my heart stuttered in pain. I wouldn’t let it show. I couldn’t show anything.

The backhand across my face made head whip to the side. Pain bloomed as I saw stars. Air whooshed out of my lungs, gripping the chains my head hung down. I couldn’t curl into a ball. My body was to heavy. Trying to get breath in my lungs, wheezing a chuckle.* Am I, or is it you? *blood trickled from the corner of my mouth. Lifting my head as best I could, meeting his eyes.* You..can’t even get it up to fuck. It’s just a limp muscle between your legs. *I didn’t care I was pushing. Fuck, I didn’t care what happened to me.* Wait.. *taking a shuttering breath.* I bet.. ...you love it in ass I bet. Does your daddy, fuck you lesser? *chuckling once more, face unreadable.* Don’t hold back now. Wouldn’t want your daddy to take his dick from you. *I wasn’t scared of what was to come. If I lived or died, who the fuck cared?* ::::::::::: Forelesser: You sound like a cheap whore, maybe once this is all said and done they'll let me turn you out as trick. Would be fitting, I mean you do seem to have a very dirty mouth on you. -He went outside the room and brought back his took kit and opened it. Picking up a blowtorch he lit it, eyes glazed over as he walked closer. He adjusted the flame making it hotter, changing from blue to nearly clear putting the torch to the bottom of foot.- This might hurt... -Laughs- :::::::::: Bitty: *Head swimming, the room was tilting on its axles. Shaking my head trying to clear. What the fuck was wrong with me. But one thing, I felt good. I felt nothing of my emotions. I could get use to this. Chuckling, hair draping around my face like a curtain.* Nah, wouldn’t want me to bite a dick off. Bad for business. Tell you what, let’s trying my skills out of you. You don’t need your dick anyways. *Eyes closing, rode the high I was on. I could hear everything around me. Fuck it was loud. I didn’t care what the asshole was doing.

Time passed, hell if I knew how long. The sound of torch and then the blistering heat. Gritting my teeth, grinding hard. I wasn’t about to scream. Pain raced through my body from the souls of my feet. My skin boiled, it felt like my skin was dripping off. The hot fire exposed my muscles, frying the nerves on the bottoms of feet. Fuck it hurt! Breathing Bitty breath. I chanted to myself.* :::::::::::::: Lesser: He watched, she was stronger than most men he'd tortured. But he'd find a way to break her, after all that was the point. Pulling the flame away he put it to the bottom of her other foot. The smell of burnt skin hang heavy in the air as he alternated it against her foot and legs.- ::::::::: Bitty: *The brief moment of reprieve made my whole body sag. Shutting my eyes as tight as I could. It was over for now. But that was all wishful thinking on my part. Flames licked and kissed against the flesh of my other foot. The flesh of my legs blistered and popped. My blood weeped and bubbled from the burns of my legs, cooking against my burnt flesh. Hissing, a growl rolls through my chest, head falling back. My body trembled and shook. Pain seared through my body. I didn’t scream oh no, I started laughing. Pulling my head up, it hung to the side.* I.. that..tickles. *something had broke inside of me. The pain was going to drive me over edge. I might already be falling into the abyss and not know it.* ::::::::: Forelesser: -He shut the torch off and sat it aside. Lighting up a joint he sat on the edge of the table looking at her.- Does anyone even give a fuck you're gone? I mean your Daddy is a "Brother" suppose to be some badass but I'm not seeing him anywhere princess. They've brainwashed you know that right? You're not blood to him or any of them, they think they're this bunch of heroes but in truth, they were never supposed to exist. Do they train you? Teach you have to keep from getting yourself into these predicaments? You wanna borrow my cell phone and call for help? -Pulls out his cell, holding it up.- You be good little princess and I'll let you call your Daddy and we'll see if he comes to save you yeah? It's a win-win, so you game? :::::::::: Bitty: *His words were like a dagger driven into my heart and soul. Each word pushed the dagger deeper. I was bleeding out, there was no way to stop it. I was drowning it. Yeah I wasn’t blood, no I lost my family long ago. I watched my mahmen die as I spoke. My father? Left for the Sun. A flash of dad’s cold, closed off eyes came to mind. The way he walked away from me. Z..holding my dad’s beast. The way dad asked about Z, but he didn’t even know I was there. My mom left me. They broke their promise to me.

My face a stone mask. I let nothing show. How hurt and broken I truly am. Eyes locked on the fucker before me. All the words he spoke were true. Even Tohr left me, our...I couldn’t even think about them. They were better off without me anyways.

Was it all really a lie?

I didn’t answer it. Because I didn’t know the answer. I thought I knew, but I don’t know anymore.

Eyeing his cell phone. A smirk crawled across my lips.* As you said..he won’t come. I bet if you sent him pictures or video. *laughing without humor.* He still won’t come. But let’s play your game. Don’t hold back on me. Because I do love games. ::::::::::::::::: Forelesser: Alright, we'll do it your way. Which is your dominant hand vampire? Or do you do mundane things like writing? -Walking over to her he reached up and took hold of her pinkie on her right hand.- Should we try right first? -And without even blinking he broke her finger.- :::::::::::::: Bitty: *I wasn’t about to make this easy on him. No. I smirked watching him.* Why ask? There’s no fun in that if I just give it all up. *pain ripped through my hand and up my arm. I could feel the bone as it broke, as well as heat it. It was at an odd angle now. I groaned, panting. A sheen of cold sweat covered my face. Body shaking from the pain.* Oh I read and write. I’m a smart one. ::::::::::::: Forelesser: Smartass maybe. Intelligent? Not so much, you are hanging here being tortured by the enemy. Just saying. -Snaps her ring and middle finger nonchalantly. Walking over to the table he picked up a knife.- You like blood right? Me too. -Psychotic smile.-

#DSM RP BDB

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