#i hate it here. i hate it here so much. i'm so sorry brellies we deserved better. THE CAST deserved better

[moonchild-in-blue]

Okay, I have finally finished S4 of The Umbrella Academy, and as someone who has been in love with the show since day 1, disappointed and frustrated don't even scratch the surface as to what I feel about *gestures vaguely*... whatever the hell that was.

I've had some time to let it sink in, and if I don't talk about it I'll die. So here are my thoughts (warning - it's long. I have a LOT of thoughts. excuse any spelling mistakes).

[major spoilers ahead. like. the whole damn thing]

What I Liked / What Worked (not much, so let's get that out of the way)

Allison and Claire (and Klaus) finally being together and having a normal mother - daughter relationship. She deserved to see Claire grow up.

Diego and Lila's daughter being named Grace after the Umbrellas' mom (Grace) was very cute.

Viktor finally being able to live a normal life as himself. Also him finally standing up to Reggie! Loved loved loved that.

Gean and Jean. The Potential!!! The flair!!! Was very delighted to know they are married irl too.

The Keepers - cool concept, poor execution.

Ben being a convicted Crypto Bro. Of course he is, that's hilarious.

Family road trip. I love them being chaotic (although the Baby Shark joke got real annoying real fast).

Lila got her parents back! Babygirl finally has a real loving family (yes i know. i'll get there).

That gorgeous Ben x Jennifer opening card with the upside-down umbrella. Gorgeous.

Allison Klaus and Luther reacting to The Affair revelation (what a mood).

Controversial opinion, but I actually liked seeing Stripper Luther! I'm not a fan of how heavy they rely on his himbo side, but it was nice to see him with a normal body and be able to enjoy it outside the whole Umbrella thing. He deserved better.

Luther and Diego having a Team Zero moment on the CIA? YES.

That Cleanse gear-up scene with Muse playing? AMAZING WONDERFUL WOW WHAT A CHOICE WHAT A SOUNDTRACK. Absolutely.

Loved the concept of the subway. Hated the execution (or lack there of).

Five's diner. Yes. Brisket Five I love you.

Loved that Alison and Viktor at least made up before dying.

What I Hated / The Bad Stuff (hooo boy)

Ray "Honour and Dignity" Chestnut would NEVER walk out on Allison and Claire. Never.

It feels damn racist to have your one other black parent character walk out on his family. He was one of the most noble and honorable and interesting characters in the whole show, and they did him so dirty.

Literally any other excuse would work as to why he couldn't be there (sickness? accident?). Ray would never.

Hated all the stupid (and frankly unjustified) fat jokes about Diego, and how they did their marriage so dirty.

I don't disagree that Lila and Diego would find it hard to adjust to a settled-down life with kids and all, given they never really knew stability, but That? Making them seem like some unhappy sub-urban nuclear family that has fallen out of love? Absolutely not.

They destroyed Ben. I get that he was Sparrow Ben, and that he was a bit of an asshole, but geez. Would think after a whole apocalypse and years of playing family (although from prision), he'd be a little bit nicer to the Umbrellas right? Not a single meaningful Klaus x Ben interaction was CRIMINAL.

They have been MADLY in love from the start - if anything they would be too wild and out-there with their kids (like when Stan was around. I can see them doing little kid bootcamps).

Also, Diego and Lila both have different flavours of mommy issues. You'd think they'd both try so hard to give their kids a loving family and relish in each other's company, because finally they get to know what it feels like to truly love and be loved.

I hate how they made Jennifer be the only thing he'd care about. I wish Ben would have *some* memories of og Ben. It would've been interesting to see him trying to concile the two. Or at least make him grief his family properly. Just anything else aside from "I'm a dick and I love Jennifer".

Klaus. Everything about him. He's probably my favourite character, and had some of the most significant and relevant character development and cool abilities. But someone decided to take a massive dump on him instead. Because of course they did.

I hate how they once again reduced him to a low-life addict (EVEN THOUGH! BOTH IN SEASON 2 AND 3 ALL HE DID WAS DRINK! The only times he ever got drunk (and intentionally, I might add), where after the whole Dave debacle (understandable), and at his brother's wedding A DAY BEFORE THE END OF THE WORLD.).

Klaus hasn't been that person in many, many years (remember how in Dallas Ben points out to him how he'd been sober for 3 years? Why would he return to that mindset after the reset?). It feels so gross and pointless to have him go back to that state - especially given how much he HATED being that person.

And this is not to say he *wouldn't* relapse after re-gaining his powers - they were the cause of so much pain and trauma, I would understand. But at least do it right, actually show him being conflicted and fight against it, show the damn ghosts, idk. Don't reduce him to a powerless addict after all the progress he made - if he was to truly relapse, at least do it so in a way that honours his character.

I hate how they wasted his powers, how they didn't even show him on The Void with God / Bicycle Girl, and how they watered his witty, extravagant, sweet, funny self into a cowardly, out-of-control mess. They chose to make him a literal prostitute (and given he was there to pay a debt, not sure how truly consensual it all was, so that's also incredibly gross), rather than give him any plot relevance.

If you wanted him to have some sexual debauchery (which sure! absolutely! Destiny's Children had that and it was fine!), then do it?? Why would you opt for him (your one other queer character btw) to be sexually coerced instead (not sure if "assault" is the right word, given he knew what was going on but. whatever it is, it doesn't sit right with me)?

Literally all he did contributed exactly 0 for the plot. They made him be so mean and bitchy towards Alisson (he would NEVER), and sneak around for drugs yet again, for absolutely nothing. No mentions of Dave, no plot-relevant connections to the Mothers Of Agony (remember Pogo worked there before? Remember they did Five's Oblivion tattoo?), nothing.

I love that he got to be with Claire, but seeing him go back to his old self and scream at her while stealing their tv was painful to watch. I hated everything they did to him, Klaus deserved SO much better.

Luther should've found Sloane. Luther would've never given up trying to find her - even if it drove him crazy. If Sloane was to remain missing, I wanted to at least see Luther go full conspiracy mode. I mean, living in a van, a bunch of blurry pictures of women who vaguely resemble Sloane, that travel guide in his pocket.

Also, Luther is so much more than comedic relief. I love him as a himbo, I hate that that's ALL he is now.

Making him squat in the Hargreeves mansion, basically trapping him once more under his father's roof? No. Nope. Absolutely not.

ALSO? WHY IS HE BACK TO MONKE MODE??? His power is super strength. The ape body was a result of an accident, the same way scars and tattoos are. None of them got their tattoos and scars (Diego's) back, so why is Luther back in that body?

This Train Ride Could've Been An Email.

What a wonderful plot device! Ooohh cool symbols? Several lines! Several entry gates! What a cool new power! Surely this must be extremely relevant to the plot right? Surely this is perhaps connected to the Oblivion project, given the strange symbols? Whatever it is, surely it must be extremely important given it was the setting for the promotional photos and posters right? Right?? RIGHT???

A 2 minute conversation. The subway served for exactly nothing but a 2 minute conversation between the Fives, just to say "ya lol, you guys are the problem, kill yourself bestie 😜🩷🙏".

Why were those symbols used instead of English? Given Five was the only one with access to it? Why wasn't the original timeline connection marked in bold on the map? How did it even appear? Why did the Grandfather Paradox not apply there?

Literally 0 relevance. They could've made Five find that diner much sooner (or in another location) and saved everyone the drama. Which leads us to our next point-

Five and Lila WOULD. NEVER. NEVER EVER EVER. NEVER. EVER. THEY WOULD NEVER.

I'm gonna skip how gross it is to have Aiden, a young actor that started as a LITERAL CHILD, serve as a love interest for one of the adults who literally saw him grow up. Gross.

Five. Who lived in an apocalypse completely alone for 40 YEARS, who never gave up hope of coming back to his family. Five, who became a lethal assassin, who killed a lot more people than we could ever imagine, would has committed horrifying acts of violence again and again and again, just to give his family a chance of survival. Because that's how much he loves them.

Five, who basically missed out on their siblings' life, who has put them in danger countless times and blames himself for it, who despite the grumpyness is beyond happy to finally be with his family. That Five? Who has risked his life over and over to save his idiot siblings? That Five?? Who despite growing up alone and abandoned and without an LITERAL ounce of affection or warmth or love, devised countless (infinite actually!) plans to stop the apocalypse and save his family??? Are you telling me THAT FIVE BETRAYED HIS OWN BROTHER AND FELL IN LOVE WITH HIS SISTER IN LAW? WHOM HE STRONGLY DISLIKED FOR MOST TIME???

I refuse to accept that. I can *somewhat* understand both he and Lila feeling vulnerable and desolate, especially Lila, given she has real children and real parents waiting for her, but cheating on Diego? With his brother nonetheless?? She would never. SHE WOULD NEVER.

And are you telling me, after all that, Five, Mr Stoic and Logical, went so far as to nearly ABANDON HIS FAMILY because Lila couldn't leave her husband (HIS BROTHER) for him???? Are you telling me Lila would actually betray Diego, a man whom she has been crazy, deeply in love with for years, literally the very first person to see her and accept her and truly lover her EVER???

No. Absolutely not. I refuse to accept this. Absolutely not. What a disservice to all of them. I hate that they, on top of that, made Diego some lazy, deadbeat dad for no reason. Absolutely not.

Jennifer. Babygirl, I love you, you're very cool and sweet and gorgeous, but I expected more.

Does she have powers? Is she connected to them in any significant way? No. Just a poor innocent girl with Durango on her veins. Why couldn't Reg and Abigail just kill her straight away? How did she know about the cleanse (given she was saying that when she came out of the squid). Why does she even have the durango??? How did that happen??

For something called the "Jennifer Incident", Miss Jenny sure didn't do much. In the og timeline, Ben and Jen are killed like what, 5 minutes after they meet? They barely talk and yet the show makes it seem like she is/was incredibly relevant in Ben's life (or rather death)? Why even call it the Jennifer Incident? Reggie could've just said it was an accident related to a weapon or anything.

Literally no reason to mention her. I'm sorry, but 2 kids looking at each other for less than 5 minutes does NOT warrant a "ooohhh we're connected and in love" plot line.

Big massive Fuck You to Mr Reginald Hargreeves for MURDERING YOUR OWN KID AND TEMPERING WITH EVERYONE'S MEMORIES.

Mr Reginald himself. He was horrible - HORRIBLE - throughout the entire show, and yet got away with literally everything. Also, I hate Abigail.

"Oh but I'm NOT your version of Hargreeves" okay?? What a lazy writing cop-out. I'm glad Viktor had that outburst, but it was not enough. Especially after the Ben death reveal, how did they not kill him right away?

I wanted to see him take accountability for his actions - or at least be properly confronted with them. His quasi-redemption arc and consequent back-stabbing in S3 was much more satisfying and in character than whatever passive male-wife version of Reggie they cooked up. Even if he did love Abigail to no end, I refuse to believe he would be that pliant under her company.

Abigail is... Yeah. I don't know. I don't get her. She started out as an interesting character, grounding Reg a bit. But then she went and killed my guy Gean (rip) and aired out her marital complaints in the middle of a sort-of Purge??? What. Was that. And then everything is okay and dandy, even if it was all her fault???

Idk guys, that whole durango - marigold plot felt super flat to me. I'm more confused than pissed off. They gave us so much and so little, and not in a good way.

The whole Cleanse thing was weird and confusing and made 0 sense. How is Life Particle + Anti-Life Particle = Grotesque Blob Monster an actual plot.

Did the Keepers know they were going to die? How exactly did they piece everything together? You'd think a conspiracy that big would've alerted Hargreeves, but I guess not? Even though he's what, the president of the city or smth lmao.

I wish they expanded on The Keepers and made them, like. Rogue Commission ex-workers or smth. Or made Jennifer actually relevant aside from "you have a virus in your blood". It felt so rushed and scrambled together, completely lacked the flair and pacing of the earlier seasons.

I actually liked S3 despite the confusing plot, but boy does it look like a masterpiece after whatever S4 was.

What a shit end.

Ben died a jerk, disfigured, without so much as a goodbye. Five and Diego died hating each other because of Lila, not knowing her true feelings; she died having her marriage destroyed and both relationships compromised.

Klaus *actually died*, instead of at least going to the Void and looking for a solution (it's death, the apocalypse has no effect there whatsoever), having contributed exactly 0% for the story.

Allison ONCE AGAIN was forced to abandon her child and have her love interest pulled away. At least she got to say goodbye.

Luther died in the same place he had always been. At least the others had time to become adults outside of it - Luther was just beginning to discover freedom and they made him go back there again. Without Sloane.

They would never surrender themselves to death. The would've either fought back, or truly enjoyed the last moments together. The Umbrellas I know would've NEVER stood passively in the face of death - especially given it was their beloved brother the responsible for it. They would've tried to get through Ben.

Flowers. Really. Really? Absolutely not.

Overall lack of significant sibling interaction. Most of their scenes together were either pure silly or just ridiculously aggravating and angry. Where is the witty banter, where are the tender moments? They were so all over this season, I miss them being an actual family ya know?

Idk if this is my annoyed self clouding my judgment, but visually this season felt very flat and lackluster.

One of the things I love the most about the series is the amazing visuals. The cinematic moments. Seasons 1 and 2 were magnificent - the colours, the fighting sequences, the pacing. Just gorgeous.

Even S3 had some really gorgeous moments - the introduction of the Sparrows, Diego's fight against Alphonso and Jaime, the hotel itself.

Sure, nothing will ever top Five's fighting scenes (Istanbul Donut shop, and him murdering the board? Also I Was Made For Loving You with Diego and Lila in Texas? Top-tier). And Klaus' and Allison's intro sequences in S2?? Or S1 Viktor playing violin??? Stunning.

I loved the 1st episode of this season, the poker scene, the birthday party. But aside from that scene/sequence in the Christmas market, and the subway scenes, they didn't really gave us much more. The dancing scene with Gean and Jean was AMAZING, but? That was it? Literally not one memorable moment (aside from the Muse/Cleanse - that was gorgeous).

What was the point of them gaining their powers back, if they can barely use it? It was useful in the Christmas market and CIA, and that was it really. Allison barely used it, Klaus flew once (1), Five can barely blink (no murderous rage scene either :/). Where did Lila's lasers came from? Also only useful once.

Questions I Still Have (literally what is going on?)

The squid. How? Why? For what? Uh??? Yall.

How did Abigail managed to come to life after the reset? How do they know what marigold is? Is *she* made of marigold? Why was she on the moon?

Reginald?? He and Abigail are aliens, sure. But? What planet? How did they get here? Why? Are there others?

Where is Pogo? Where is Grace? Where are Sissy and Harlan?

If Allison and Diego and Lila never existed, how are their kids alive after the Cleanse?

Where did the subway even come from?? I get that Five built the system (did he????), but if it was there the whole time, how did he never come across it? How did they get him to come there only now?? I don't know, maybe I'm really dumb, I just don't get it.

Given that The Comission works outside time and space, you'd think *someone* must've known about all the other apocalypses, including this one.

Even if they are no more, it makes no sense for them to not be alerted to it. The Comission works outside of the timelines - it'd make sense for them to be aware of Ben and Jennifer.

But I guess they don't really appear in S3 either so sure, yeah.

Why did Abigail isolate the marigold particle in the first place? Literally everything about her makes 0 sense.

I don't even know anymore gang. I'm so disappointed in how they ended things. How can you fumble a show That Good so bad?? The cast is so correct (especially David mi amor, you know what's up). I feel so sad for both Gerard and Gabriel - they worked so hard on the comics, it must be awful to see their characters done so dirty like that.