#i hate dori as a matter of principle but that's a different story

[welcometoteyvat]

its kinda wild to me when people say they have genshin characters they hate bc generally none of them act super antagonistic towards each other (with some exceptions ig) like it's literally an entire game of mostly good people (again with some exceptions) the only thing i could find hateful is that some of them are boring. and then i just wouldn't care about them

[winterscribe]

I think I’m going to have to write a decent length time travel fic that’s like an au of an au. (It’s not the first time but this one makes more sense than the Doctor Who Vampire Hunter D crossover version of Blood and Ash) I’ve sorta talked about it before, where a past version of D and Avaleara are brought to the future with a couple other people, but I think it needs to be more than a quick 5k oneshot like I was sorta planning. Hopefully it’ll just be a side project written when the main story inspiration fizzles out.

Like I keep coming back to this concept again and again, which ends up blocking me from actually writing the main story. I’d reign it in but it’s actually useful- its a way for me to explore the differences between who they were and who they become, and explaining how events happen/ things work often leads to filling in plot holes and strengthening weak world building.

Ok so “talking” it out really helped and I think I got a great core idea and now it’s time to start working on writing it. I’m putting a read more here because my thinky thoughts got as long and rambly as usual. It’s the base idea so a lot might change but feel free to take a look. 

The biggest issue I see with actually writing it down is that which characters and which time periods are brought forward switch a lot. I tend to use characters from whichever VHD book I’m reading at the time but that concept rarely lasts longer than a few days of playing around, not strong enough to sustain an actual project. I used to use Doris and Dan Lang, back a few years ago. I used to say she and D got married and then she died of old age, very tragedy much sad, wow. I got a looot of imagination mileage out of that concept. Then I saw some meta about how off that once scene is and realized ‘oh yeah that is kinda really fucked up never thought about it that way’ and cut that out of my mental D’s backstory.

I think I’m gonna have to bring it back- highly edited though- if I want to actually make this a project. I love love love the idea of D having had a human wife, who died of old age but now is brought to the future where D’s living this awesome life with a new wife and kids. Not because I’m an asshole that wants to torture them, but because I love the idea of exploring those conflicting feelings, like        -He’s happy at last and I want that to be enough but I wasn’t enough to make him this happy and I hate that I’m so selfish and angry- There’s a whole mess of complicated feelings that is very very interesting to me, especially when I pair it with the resolution of -4000 years after I died he still talks about me, he still misses me. His children never met me but they know my name and stories about the life we shared, He made a space for me in this new life even though I’ve been gone for so long, I can still hear the same love in his voice 4000 fucking years after I died-

Like I don’t care enough about it to create a whole OC, -actually that’s a lie I do but I am SHIT at creating OCs specifically for them to die (D’s youngest daughter was inspired by If I Die Young by the Band Perry. It no longer fits her. At. All.) Plus I LOVE D’s relationship with Dan Lang, I mean come on! “Why don’t you do your big brother a favor and get his horse ready,” Mother fucker D is awesome with other kids in other books but DAMN no other kid is called his Brother OK I love it I love that relationship it is the best part of any VHD book IMO. So. If I gotta rework Doris ‘I’ll violate my employee’s personal boundaries’ Lang until she’s so OOC she’s practically an OC I. WILL.  (And yeah Its VERY enticing to have a grown up Dan like....  I want to be grumpy and hate D’s new wife on principle cuz she’s not my Sister but dammit I’ve never seen my brother so happy Fuuuuuck)

So I think I’ve come to terms with having Doris as D’s dead wife. That particular scene never happened, I’ll figure out exactly how they got together later and I get Dan Lang as D’s little brother.

Now to decide whether or not I’m bringing in Avaleara’s past. I like toying around with bringing her forward because she was so so very different before Xahros tortured her. She was sweet and innocent and I love playing with the shock when she and her family realize how brutal and angry she becomes. The horrified realization that the sweet innocent Avaleara that is terrified of her family legacy and just wants to be a healer becomes a woman full of RAGE who is willing and able to brutally rip someone apart with her bare hands. I love playing with a Future Avaleara, who, when confronted with who she used to be, shows the worst of who she became because she’s always felt less after, like no matter how much she Heals and Becomes everyone who knew her Before would do anything to get back the sweet innocent child she used to be. I love imagining the comparisons between Xahros and D before they realize what Xahros did. I love having them look at D and hate him because he isn’t sweet or romantic and wonder how the hell Avaleara “settled” for him after Xahros’s great example. I love imagining the moment of horrific realization, when they find out that Xahros, sweet gentle romantic Xahros, took Avaleara apart piece by piece and Avaleara had to rebuild her entire sense of self around the cracks he left. I love imagining them looking at D after finding out and realizing that he’s more different than Xahros then they imagined, not just superficially but in every way that matters. I love imagining the moment they stop scoffing and start looking and seeing the little moments, and realizing how performative Xahros’ affection was and how genuine D’s is, even if its blink and you miss it (to a stranger’s eyes at least) 

I like bringing the humans forward a bit more, if only because it gives me a great chance to explore the world. D’s too jaded to have much of a reaction and even the more expressive Left Hand has seen the Vampire Civilization at it’s peak. La Shevare may be wondrous and alien but these two aren’t the best to explore that. Bring a bunch of humans forward, just jaded enough they won’t pass out in shock/fear but still able to be amazed and show it? They’d be spinning like a top trying to take it all in and I could have a world building field day!

Having both at the same time would be too much but if I staggered it... just as Doris and Dan are wrapping their heads around everything, Avaleara’s past is brought forward. Then, Avaleara would change- Doris and Dan were told she was dangerous, were told she was being careful not to be Too Much, and knew she had demons as loud and vicious as D’s. But it’s one thing to be told and another to see her, no longer charming but snappish and snarling, graphically describing how if felt to be skinned alive, throwing her weight and power around, getting into brawls left and right, angry and dangerous. They know her just enough now to tell that she’s still in control, still holding the worst at bay so she doesn’t frighten the humans that D loves, but that’s almost more terrifying, knowing that this isn’t the worst, isn’t even close to it and the only thing keeping her contained is her love of D.

I think it would be funny too, Doris and Dan, these tiny little fragile humans and they’re wary of Avaleara’s anger sure, but well, they love a Dhampir and they’re frontier survivors, they’ve seen worse and Know D would never let them get hurt even if they don’t yet trust Avaleara to keep control. Meanwhile this new handful of people are shaking in fear, blindsided and overwhelmed by a relatively tame display of anger and grief. Just the image of a couple human kids rolling their eyes while a pack of demons quake in fear is hilarious to me. I mean its tragic, and I’d love to explore that too, but its also funny as hell.

Yeah. Yeah I think I have the core of a good idea here and I think it’s time to start actually working with it. This stream of thought exercise helped a lot and now that I’ve figured out how to combine my favorite elements of this concept into one story I might be able to write it out and get it out of my head so I can work on the actual Blood and Ash “Cannon” 

[kellyinboston]

WHAT Wednesday

Hi folks. Boy, do I have a lot of things to tell you. So let’s get to it!

WHAT am I reading?

Let’s see here… I finished the book All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven. Here is the description:

Theodore Finch is fascinated by death, and he constantly thinks of ways he might kill himself. But each time, something good, no matter how small, stops him.

Violet Markey lives for the future, counting the days until graduation, when she can escape her Indiana town and her aching grief in the wake of her sister’s recent death.

When Finch and Violet meet on the ledge of the bell tower at school, it’s unclear who saves whom. And when they pair up on a project to discover the “natural wonders” of their state, both Finch and Violet make more important discoveries: It’s only with Violet that Finch can be himself—a weird, funny, live-out-loud guy who’s not such a freak after all. And it’s only with Finch that Violet can forget to count away the days and start living them. But as Violet’s world grows, Finch’s begins to shrink.

Thoughts? Mmm…so I liked it. This is another young adult book where there are the two main characters that are a boy and a girl and they are both dealing with various issues. I may need a break from these types of stories. But aside from that, I enjoyed it enough. There was something that happened in the book that really surprised me, since it was a young adult book. So that was nice – to be surprised. I don’t think I would recommend it, but I didn’t hate it. So confusing!

I am now back to reading The Chronicles of Narnia. I know what you are thinking – geeze Kelly how long have you been reading that book. The answer is since January, that is how long, so back off. It is a long book (700+ pages), I am about 78% of the way through it. I think there are like 7 stories within the book and I will read a story, take a break and ready another book, then go back and read another story, then take a break…alright you get it. Anyways, I hope to be done in the next couple weeks, because, you guessed it, I am almost finished with one of the stories and I am going to take a break!

Another thing I am excited to tell you is I am listening to my first audio book. I found this app, called Hoopla, and it has free audio books. I don’t really know what the catch is, but I am just rolling with it. I think the catch is that there are not a ton of options. But enough to keep me interested. I am listening to A Man Called Ove. I have heard about this book a lot and was anxious to listen to it because I heard the audio version is better than reading it. It is about 9 hours long and I have about 45 minutes left, I hope to finish it today. I am liking  it. Here is the description:

Meet Ove. He's a curmudgeon, the kind of man who points at people he dislikes as if they were burglars caught outside his bedroom window. He has staunch principles, strict routines, and a short fuse. People call him the bitter neighbor from hell, but must Ove be bitter just because he doesn't walk around with a smile plastered to his face all the time?

Behind the cranky exterior there is a story and a sadness. So when one November morning a chatty young couple with two chatty young daughters move in next door and accidentally flatten Ove's mailbox, it is the lead-in to a comical and heartwarming tale of unkempt cats, unexpected friendship, and the ancient art of backing up a U-Haul. All of which will change one cranky old man and a local residents' association to their very foundations.

 There is not a ton of action in the book, but I like the characters and the unwinding of Ove’s back story. I find that the author does a lot of elaborate comparisons, for example (just making this up right now) he would write something like “the woman had a white head on her forehead that looked like a volcano erupting with snow” (a writer I am not!) – but you get the idea. These comparisons are very frequent and a bit annoying, but what can you do!?!!

When I finished this book there are a few more books I see on the app that I would like to listen to. So more audio books may be in my future!

Phew…that was a lot of book talk, huh?

Wait, I am not done. So, I am traveling to Denmark for work this Saturday (will be there a week) so I have a couple long plane rides in my future…what am I going to read next. Ekkk..I don’t know. I will definitely be bringing my Kindle. I will keep you updated.

ONE MORE THING! So once I get back from my work trip and finish Narnia I am going to start The Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin. This has been on my list for like 10 years now. It is nonfiction about President Lincoln…it will be my Everest. 916 pages…but I have heard fabulous things. Sounds like a perfect summer read, huh?

WHAT are we watching?

Well, the NBA playoffs started, so a lot of basketball. Celtics are down 2 games, not looking too good.

I started the West Wing. Maybe 7 episodes in. I am enjoying it.

Better Call Saul started a couple weeks ago and I am anxious to watch it with Neil…but basketball.

WHAT is up with the family?

A few things, thanks for asking.

Neil fixed the washer and dryer, and get this, the dryer actually dries. Wow! So for 2 years we had a washer and a partial dryer (would dry clothes only to a certain extent, then we would need to hang them over the loft bannister so they could dry fully), now we have a fully functioning washer/dryer – Neil is a Rockstar!

As for Snoop – well big news in these parts. Yesterday I came home from work and she greeted me at the door. So what is the big deal Kelly? Doesn’t Snoop always meet you at the door? No, she doesn’t because she is usually in her crate during the day. Neil and I have wanted to transition her out of her crate for the daytime for a while now but we have been hesitant because it is 9 hours of us not being home. So we talked about just “pulling the bandaid” and doing it but that made me nervous. So I told Neil when he leaves her out (he leaves for work like an hour after I do so he is the one that puts her in the crate) to just not tell me and so I wouldn’t be nervous all day at work, so hence the surprise of her out of her crate yesterday. So…how did she do? She did great. No accidents, no chewing, nothing. So now I think we will continue to leave her crate free. Is there bond to be some mishaps, probably, but hopefully we are on the right track!

(you talking to me?)

WHAT is going on in the kitchen?

So now that I have new colleagues to impress I am baking a little more. I like to bring cookies/muffins in and get compliments. I have a big ego.

Also, the other night I made walnut crusted chicken for dinner. The picture is not great, but the chicken was pretty good. Neil liked it a lot!

My news years resolution of cooking one new meal a month is not going great (I am 2/4), but I am determined to succeed from here on out!

WHAT am I looking forward to?

This weekend we had such nice weather, I am looking forward to more days like that. I say this every year, but I mean it this year, I am going to take advantage of the nice weather, whether that means sitting on our patio at night, going to different trails with Snoop, doing more weekend getaways. Whatever, just enjoy it more! This is our last summer in Boston and I want to enjoy it!

Getting back from my work trip. I know I haven’t even gone yet! Don’t get me wrong, going to Denmark for work is a great opportunity and I am looking forward to the training sessions I am attending, but traveling to Europe for a week is a lot. To be honest I get stressed about Snoop (Neil takes great care of her, but he works long hours).

Peach/watermelon season!

Thanks for reading!