#i hate dori as a matter of principle but that's a different story

[welcometoteyvat]

its kinda wild to me when people say they have genshin characters they hate bc generally none of them act super antagonistic towards each other (with some exceptions ig) like it's literally an entire game of mostly good people (again with some exceptions) the only thing i could find hateful is that some of them are boring. and then i just wouldn't care about them

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I think I’m going to have to write a decent length time travel fic that’s like an au of an au. (It’s not the first time but this one makes more sense than the Doctor Who Vampire Hunter D crossover version of Blood and Ash) I’ve sorta talked about it before, where a past version of D and Avaleara are brought to the future with a couple other people, but I think it needs to be more than a quick 5k oneshot like I was sorta planning. Hopefully it’ll just be a side project written when the main story inspiration fizzles out.

Like I keep coming back to this concept again and again, which ends up blocking me from actually writing the main story. I’d reign it in but it’s actually useful- its a way for me to explore the differences between who they were and who they become, and explaining how events happen/ things work often leads to filling in plot holes and strengthening weak world building.

Ok so “talking” it out really helped and I think I got a great core idea and now it’s time to start working on writing it. I’m putting a read more here because my thinky thoughts got as long and rambly as usual. It’s the base idea so a lot might change but feel free to take a look. 

The biggest issue I see with actually writing it down is that which characters and which time periods are brought forward switch a lot. I tend to use characters from whichever VHD book I’m reading at the time but that concept rarely lasts longer than a few days of playing around, not strong enough to sustain an actual project. I used to use Doris and Dan Lang, back a few years ago. I used to say she and D got married and then she died of old age, very tragedy much sad, wow. I got a looot of imagination mileage out of that concept. Then I saw some meta about how off that once scene is and realized ‘oh yeah that is kinda really fucked up never thought about it that way’ and cut that out of my mental D’s backstory.

I think I’m gonna have to bring it back- highly edited though- if I want to actually make this a project. I love love love the idea of D having had a human wife, who died of old age but now is brought to the future where D’s living this awesome life with a new wife and kids. Not because I’m an asshole that wants to torture them, but because I love the idea of exploring those conflicting feelings, like        -He’s happy at last and I want that to be enough but I wasn’t enough to make him this happy and I hate that I’m so selfish and angry- There’s a whole mess of complicated feelings that is very very interesting to me, especially when I pair it with the resolution of -4000 years after I died he still talks about me, he still misses me. His children never met me but they know my name and stories about the life we shared, He made a space for me in this new life even though I’ve been gone for so long, I can still hear the same love in his voice 4000 fucking years after I died-

Like I don’t care enough about it to create a whole OC, -actually that’s a lie I do but I am SHIT at creating OCs specifically for them to die (D’s youngest daughter was inspired by If I Die Young by the Band Perry. It no longer fits her. At. All.) Plus I LOVE D’s relationship with Dan Lang, I mean come on! “Why don’t you do your big brother a favor and get his horse ready,” Mother fucker D is awesome with other kids in other books but DAMN no other kid is called his Brother OK I love it I love that relationship it is the best part of any VHD book IMO. So. If I gotta rework Doris ‘I’ll violate my employee’s personal boundaries’ Lang until she’s so OOC she’s practically an OC I. WILL.  (And yeah Its VERY enticing to have a grown up Dan like....  I want to be grumpy and hate D’s new wife on principle cuz she’s not my Sister but dammit I’ve never seen my brother so happy Fuuuuuck)

So I think I’ve come to terms with having Doris as D’s dead wife. That particular scene never happened, I’ll figure out exactly how they got together later and I get Dan Lang as D’s little brother.

Now to decide whether or not I’m bringing in Avaleara’s past. I like toying around with bringing her forward because she was so so very different before Xahros tortured her. She was sweet and innocent and I love playing with the shock when she and her family realize how brutal and angry she becomes. The horrified realization that the sweet innocent Avaleara that is terrified of her family legacy and just wants to be a healer becomes a woman full of RAGE who is willing and able to brutally rip someone apart with her bare hands. I love playing with a Future Avaleara, who, when confronted with who she used to be, shows the worst of who she became because she’s always felt less after, like no matter how much she Heals and Becomes everyone who knew her Before would do anything to get back the sweet innocent child she used to be. I love imagining the comparisons between Xahros and D before they realize what Xahros did. I love having them look at D and hate him because he isn’t sweet or romantic and wonder how the hell Avaleara “settled” for him after Xahros’s great example. I love imagining the moment of horrific realization, when they find out that Xahros, sweet gentle romantic Xahros, took Avaleara apart piece by piece and Avaleara had to rebuild her entire sense of self around the cracks he left. I love imagining them looking at D after finding out and realizing that he’s more different than Xahros then they imagined, not just superficially but in every way that matters. I love imagining the moment they stop scoffing and start looking and seeing the little moments, and realizing how performative Xahros’ affection was and how genuine D’s is, even if its blink and you miss it (to a stranger’s eyes at least) 

I like bringing the humans forward a bit more, if only because it gives me a great chance to explore the world. D’s too jaded to have much of a reaction and even the more expressive Left Hand has seen the Vampire Civilization at it’s peak. La Shevare may be wondrous and alien but these two aren’t the best to explore that. Bring a bunch of humans forward, just jaded enough they won’t pass out in shock/fear but still able to be amazed and show it? They’d be spinning like a top trying to take it all in and I could have a world building field day!

Having both at the same time would be too much but if I staggered it... just as Doris and Dan are wrapping their heads around everything, Avaleara’s past is brought forward. Then, Avaleara would change- Doris and Dan were told she was dangerous, were told she was being careful not to be Too Much, and knew she had demons as loud and vicious as D’s. But it’s one thing to be told and another to see her, no longer charming but snappish and snarling, graphically describing how if felt to be skinned alive, throwing her weight and power around, getting into brawls left and right, angry and dangerous. They know her just enough now to tell that she’s still in control, still holding the worst at bay so she doesn’t frighten the humans that D loves, but that’s almost more terrifying, knowing that this isn’t the worst, isn’t even close to it and the only thing keeping her contained is her love of D.

I think it would be funny too, Doris and Dan, these tiny little fragile humans and they’re wary of Avaleara’s anger sure, but well, they love a Dhampir and they’re frontier survivors, they’ve seen worse and Know D would never let them get hurt even if they don’t yet trust Avaleara to keep control. Meanwhile this new handful of people are shaking in fear, blindsided and overwhelmed by a relatively tame display of anger and grief. Just the image of a couple human kids rolling their eyes while a pack of demons quake in fear is hilarious to me. I mean its tragic, and I’d love to explore that too, but its also funny as hell.

Yeah. Yeah I think I have the core of a good idea here and I think it’s time to start actually working with it. This stream of thought exercise helped a lot and now that I’ve figured out how to combine my favorite elements of this concept into one story I might be able to write it out and get it out of my head so I can work on the actual Blood and Ash “Cannon”