#i had to leave at least one discord for lowkey aphobia

[flameraven]

This! I always write them as ace, partly because I am aroace and it has been a great comfort to see a relationship like the one I want on screen, but also...

Angels do not reproduce. They were all created by God in this universe (per Neil Gaiman). By default they do not have a gender or sex organs. Why would they feel sexual desire? We've seen that it took Aziraphale 1500 years to be tempted into trying food, and he still doesn't sleep. Crowley doesn't seem that keen on eating. And Aziraphale describes even romantic love as "what humans do."

They're not human. They're not even biological creatures. They've picked up a lot from humans, but I don't think sexual desire is necessarily included. Could they try it out and like it? Sure. But they could also see it as totally unnecessary and have no interest in this weird, squishy biological process.

I cannot say how much of a relief it is to see a relationship on screen that is deep and supportive and loving that ISN'T hugely focused on the physical aspect. And it is frustrating and very tiring to see that so often ignored in fandom with the presumption by many that "of course they're fucking" or "Aziraphale couldn't possibly resist Crowley when he looked like that."

Your allonormativity shows, fandom. As OP said, I'm not surprised-- this is what fandom does. But just. Try to challenge your assumptions sometimes. And then maybe I won't have to block as many people for low key aphobia.

Crowley and Aziraphale canonically do not have sex organs. There is no indication that they have ever experienced sex or have a desire to.

And apparently... people do not like this. They are resistant to accepting it in a way that, as an asexual, it's hard not to take personally.

But I don't really think it's personal. I think it's just that allosexual thinking is so prevalent, people default to 'but why WOULDN'T they?' instead of 'why WOULD they?' Even though the latter question makes a lot more sense in this context. Allosexual thinking has us expecting that love = sex, and that any being who enjoys good food or music or other Earthly pleasures must also want to try it. Even though many real human people enjoy those pleasures and have no desire for sex at all. Why wouldn't these ethereal beings be like us in that regard?

And look, I've been in enough fandoms by now not to be surprised by any of this. What DO you do with a ship if not have them fuck? That's always the end goal, right? But there's a fine line between fantasizing (always fine) and actually expecting reality - or canon - to work that way. Canonically, we have a sexless romantic relationship that does not, by any sort of default, have to turn into a sexual one to be valid. That's amazing. That almost never happens. But if you went by fan discussions, you probably wouldn't even realize that was the case.

The thing is... aphobia doesn't always look like hatred, or ridicule. Sometimes it looks like erasure. Sometimes it looks like a persistent tendency to sexualize the sexless in order to make it more interesting, or palatable, or to make the relationship 'complete'. It's not on purpose, like that. It's cultural normalcy talking. None of us are untouched by it, and it's easy not to realize.

I don't think I'm coming to a point here. I'd just like if fan discussions weren't always overrun by allosexual expectations. But I also don't really expect it to lead to a lot of self-reflection. I mean, it's fandom. It's whatever. It shouldn't even bother me. But apparently it does, so I wanted to talk about it. And put it out there in case, perhaps, anyone else has been sitting on these feelings and would like to vent.