#i had to cut this short. it's the longest review i've done yet ;-;

[priafey]

Gwilin of the Day: "Gleaming" Gwilin

Today's Gwilin of the day is brought to you by: LadyTanithia on ao3!

Dalliances with Dunmer [Chapters 46 & 47]

Published: June 18, 2023

Rated: Mature

Length: ~12,500 words

Featuring: Fem. OC, Teldryn Sero, Temba, Wilhelm

Set in: Ivarstead

REVIEW

Gwilin's no Dunmer, but boy did he get dallied with!

If you know what went down between the author's OC, Miranja, and this Gwilin the last time I wrote about them here, you know I thought their reunion was long overdue. Miranja thought so, too, and the story begins with her seeking to rectify the situation–with her taking a little detour to visit Ivarstead's resident Sweet Bosmer Boy, whom she discovers is overjoyed to see her again. A little dawdling between them follows, even after Miranja admits to Gwilin that he's the main reason she traipsed into town. They part as Gwilin sets off to work, eager to see Miranja's words of promise materialize, and Miranja sets off to hang with her companion, Teldryn.

As they talk, Miranja fills Teldryn in on her history with this Gwilin, which isn't much, and confesses she's having second thoughts about bedding him. I found her reasoning for this (that he might become attached to her or the sex and feel despair in its absence) a bit presumptuous, and not at all mature, as Teldryn opines in the story. More than simply disagreeing with her reasoning, I think it doesn't make sense given the fact she and Gwilin hardly know each other; the bedrock of the logic behind her reluctance to sleep with him seems to simply be his inexperience. And though it's not completely out of left field to think someone who's never had sex before will miss it once they have, I crudely ask: why are they so sure Gwilin can't pull bitches? (Side note: I found the idea of Teldryn –or anyone, really– immediately being able to spot a virgin extremely funny, in a good way. Added to that is Miranja just assuming he doesn't have a girlfriend or anything. They really looked at Gwilin and said "TOTAL ingenue over here".)

A little later, Gwilin catches up with Miranja and she tells him she thinks it's best they don't sleep together, in a way that I found somewhat condescending. This Gwilin truly is a saint to not have reacted with at least a little indignation to her words. Instead, he watches-without-really-watching a beetle on the ground, a moment of pause which I loved, before giving a tempered response: he asks for but a kiss from her. She agrees. There's a little moment during the kiss where she notes the maddening scent of some essential oil he put on before meeting her, which was such a succinct way of illustrating Gwilin's character. It says he's a scamp not afraid to use his playful wiles.

Soon after comes his true response to what she said. It's one which I would've liked to have seen him express more readily, and with greater passion, earlier on. But passion often entails something more messy than the rather long and always level-headed responses the characters in this story tend to give each other.

That level-headedness left me hungry for some real conflict. The way this Gwilin assured Miranja he was certain he wanted to have sex with her was very straightforward, unoffended, and based on the absolute best-faith interpretation of everything she implied about him. Feelings are rarely this clean and tidy. If they are, it's because there's a ton of trust between the people sharing them, a trust Gwilin and Miranja simply don't have. I suppose that, narratively, the point of Miranja making the assumptions and externalizing them towards Gwilin as she did was so she could stand corrected later, thus appearing to have learned something. Insofar as this bit of "conflict", I was left confused and unconvinced.

However, there's a myriad of luscious little details about Gwilin peppered into this story that sculpted an irresistible likeness of his character. One such detail was that perfumery of his I mentioned earlier, another was his curious spying on Fastred and Bassianus' tryst in the woods, and another still was his kissing lessons with Lynly. All of these say much more about the kind of person he is than those paragraphs of his dialogue scattered throughout the story, which give the impression he's addressing the audience rather than Miranja. They paint a portrait of a man consumed with want, at once anxious and resolute to taste sex as one would taste wine for the first time, and who is ready to accept all the inquietude its drunken splendor might entail. That's a Gwilin one wants to know more about.

The audience is afforded a greater glimpse into this portrait of him as the story progresses. Miranja and Gwilin do end up sleeping together, and it goes well (perhaps a little too well, for being Gwilin's first time, but it doesn't feel too over-the-top). Again, this Gwilin's expressions, his gestures, and his candor are what really carry his characterization. At one point, he admits to Miranja –after dancing around the words for a minute– that he wants to come inside her. The admission comes after she asks him this directly, and he can only muster a cringey nod of his head in reply. It's so honest, endearing, and heartfelt, and it's just the perfect tinge of playful self-awareness to inflect his feelings in that moment.

Moment that my mind chose to fixate on: There were many. Gwilin's cringey nod was a highlight, as was his eyes flicking bashfully in Miranja's direction when he was getting ready to eat her out. Also, Teldryn saying he'd like to make Miranja late for her appointment with Gwilin was delicious.

But my absolute favorite moment, the one that threw my mind into a complete whirlwind, was when he kept himself from cumming. His effort to keep it all in was INSANELY hot. Type of shit that reminds me we are born of the flesh and die of the flesh and all that.

I. Compellingness

I must confess that I was hard-pressed to feel drawn to this Gwilin outside of the more sensuous tidbits surrounding him in the story. By which I mean, any compellingness of his was, for me, limited to what I extrapolated from those little details about his life that were mentioned in passing. This alone wouldn't have been a good enough reason to deduct points on this metric, but the dialogue of this Gwilin did not work in his character's favor. I elaborate on this below. 6/10

II. Swagger

This Gwilin could've used an extra push of assertiveness to really bump up his swag levels, which are decent regardless. For some reason the most swag thing I feel like he did was when he mimed the pregnant belly to let Miranja know he didn't want to get her pregnant. I think this is the first time I found a considerate gesture in a Gwilin fic to be more swag than charming. That alone deserves an extra point. 7/10

III. Talent

We have another Command Animal Gwilin! That description of him communing (?) with nature was one of my favorite visuals of all the Gwilin fics I've read thus far. The fox on his lap, the torch bugs dancing around him... he's in his element.

Morever, this is a real kissy Gwilin. Not a lot of Gwilin fics place special emphasis on his kissing abilities, as they should. 8/10

IV. Backstory

We are given only some slight gleams into this Gwilin's past, but, given the smutty focus of this fic, the lack of backstory is understandble. 5/10

V. Pleasure of Reading

[I had a lot of notes on this metric, and, for the sake of simplifying the process of condensing everything I wrote, I'm going to separate my observations here into the strengths and the weaknesses of the author's writing. This was not easy to do, since, as is usually the case, strengths and weaknesses are born of each other and love to intertwine.]

STRENGTHS

The big words the author occasionally uses | Some of them could’ve been incorporated more artfully, but in general I think their usage enriches this story. There is, I think, a woeful lack of big words in many works of fiction, and it’s not just about the words seeming fancy or fun to say. Sometimes weird, out-of-left-field words are the most accurate for what one wishes to convey, and the reader won't feel accosted by them if they're used sparingly.

Gestures and positioning | The author does a great job of describing the characters' body language and movements in relation to each other, both within and outside the sex scenes. I really enjoyed imagining the actions described in the order they were presented. It was usually easy to see the interactions between characters as they unfolded, speaking strictly in regards to physical sequencing.

WEAKNESSES

Withholding information | This story would be much improved if some more information about Miranja (as well as other characters') thoughts were withheld from the audience.

Writing tends to be much more compelling if the reader feels they are being given a puzzle to put together. If the puzzle is too complex, one loses interest; if it is too easy, one might feel like the pieces were already put together for you. This story leans more towards the latter. The author being just indirect enough to make the reader feel like they "figured out" an image or idea makes for a much funner reading experience.

If I may give an example, instead of

“Hello, Miss Miranja!” Gwilin greeted her enthusiastically.

what about...?

Gwilin’s brow jumped up as she came near. “Hello, Miss Miranja!”

or even...?

Gwilin’s brow cocked vibrantly. “Hello, Miss Miranja!”

Dialogue running long | What it says on the tin. The problem here lies in part with the structure of the longer stretches of dialogue and in part with their content.

Structure – “I” statements in dialogue can get old fast. Getting creative with “you” statements and sentence structure keeps things interesting.

If I may posit an example from the story again, instead of

“What brings you to town, Miss Miranja? And how long are you staying?” “I’ll be honest, Gwilin: you’re the one and only reason that brings me to town. I have no other business in Ivarstead. Although now that I think of it, it might be nice to go up and see Paarthurnax while I’m this close. I haven’t been up to see him since I came back from Sovngarde.”

how's about...?

“What brings you to town, Miss Miranja? And how long are you staying?” “Honestly, Gwilin? You’re what brings me to town. I have no other business here.” “Really?” [some action from the character to indicate whether this made him feel more flattered, pleasantly nervous, cocky, etc.] “Yes, though, now that I think of it, it might be nice to go up and see Paarthurnax. Haven’t done that since I came back from Sovngarde.”

Content – In order to subtly give the audience insight into the characters' thoughts, values, and beliefs, one must ask which says more about a person's character: what they say about themselves, or what they say to others (and how they choose to say it)?

Another example. What if Gwilin said not this:

“Wilhelm says the same thing almost every day. But I tell him Miss Temba is more bark than bite, and it really doesn’t bother me when she’s grouchy. I just look around me at the beautiful view I get to enjoy every day, and I breathe the fresh mountain air, and I remember why I settled here. Maybe someday I’ll be able to build a house of my own here.”

But this...?

“Wilhelm says the same thing to me every other day. But I’ll tell you what I tell him: Miss Temba is more bark than bite. It doesn’t really bother me when she’s grouchy. Getting to enjoy the beautiful view and breathe this fresh mountain air every day reminds me why I settled in Ivarstead… maybe someday I’ll be able to build a house of my own here.”

The best bits of dialogue in this story were concentrated in the more brief exchanges. Unlike a lot of the other Gwilin fics I've read, the shorter lines of dialogue presented by this author rarely feel quippy or trope-y, which is a real breath of fresh air.

Shifting focus | Shifting focus multiple times in a single line of dialogue or in a single paragraph can be disorienting for the audience. In real life, though thoughts and speech can be scattered, disorganized, and sporadic, such qualities in fictional writing can detract from the verisimilitude of the story. It also has the potential to come off as jarring, which was my general impression of how this story flowed.

You can have introspective characters. You can go for a stream-of-consciousness approach. But it's not an easy thing to do well. Word choice and where the author chose to place paragraph breaks ties into the execution here.

Word choice | While personal preference dictates in large part which words someone might think more apt to express this or that sentiment or convey this or that idea, some words can "take one out of it", pluck you out of the story world just as you're getting lulled in. I was plucked in this way far too many times as I read this story, which tore me up inside because I really did love the finer details the author crafted, wanted to live inside them and let them cradle me until I read the last word and lamented there wasn't more. But I could not.

All in all, this fic had some issues with narrative and structure, which are… not exactly insignificant elements of a story. BUT, the dreamy is in the details here... even if most everything else felt a bit out of place in comparison to those details, focusing on them brought me to an understanding of this most exceptional Gwilin. What more could I really ask for? 7/10

[As a closing note, I would simply like to say all of the issues I mentioned here are issues I've struggled with, and continually struggle with, in my own writing. Saying a lot with a little, connecting characters and ideas, weaving a story that sparkles with wit... is fucking hard.]

VI. Horniness

One of the finer examples of the specific brand of horniness Gwilin brings to the table. And boy, was it brought. 10/10

Final Tally

My

autistic ass

gives this Gwilin a 7/10!

[thessalian]

Thess vs The Longest Week

So, more work updates.

Scruffman hadn't put a Teams meeting in the diary like he said he was going to, so I dropped him an email to ask. He said he'd "give a bell" on Tuesday instead so he'd have a better idea of the shape of the rest of the week. I pray he decides that I don't need to actually go in. This week has been bad enough, and it's not technically over yet.

This week has seen me doing nearly ten hours total overtime over four days, and looks like I'll be putting in some work on Saturday too. Thing is, even with Scruffman in, not a whole lot of typing was getting done by anyone but me. Add to that a whole bunch of long complicated bullshit, not to mention a couple of them who fucked up their dictations beyond all recognition and obliged me to drop them an email going, "You forgot the block key, I couldn't hear this word because you were sitting several feet away from your microphone, you took your foot off the footpedal at an inopportune moment and cut out a whole bunch of measurements, please tell me this was meant to be 5mm or 0.5cm and not 0.5mm because you don't do slices that thin in these things..." and on and on and on... Also the ones who miss things and wind up having to go back to the macro three or four times in the middle of the block key without giving any indication of where in the macro report the new stuff has to go, and the ones whose sentence structure is abominable even when English is their first language (for those who don't have English as their first language, I tend to cut them some slack). In short, I'm having to clean up an awful lot of messes while still trying to do the job of multiple typists.

Part of the problem at this point is that we have so many more junior doctors, and everyone - junior doctors included - are in a massive hurry, and so they kind of foul things up. And of course, we're understaffed. When we had fewer doctors doing dictation and two extra people in, we were just a little bit overstaffed, and that was comfortable because if a lot of unexpected absences happened, we could still carry on well enough. But we had two people leave last year - one having moved on to greener pastures, one just having walked right out - and more doctors, so now we're massively understaffed and can barely keep our heads above water when we have everyone working, never mind when we have so many unexpected absences. Head Honcho really has got to get us a replacement for Sunshine at minimum, but it's been ages and it hasn't happened so I doubt it will.

Anyway, so that's why I've pulled a total of nearly ten hours of overtime this week, and why I'll be doing some work on Saturday as well. Because people come in and report on weekends on top of everything else, and there seems to be literally no one else to type things but me. I am so exhausted I can't even begin to tell you, but despite that, I haven't slept properly for most of the week, given pain and stress. Even my breaks were generally to get essentials done - trip to the corner shop, ordering the monthly grocery shop, stuffing something resembling dinner into my face, bath to hopefully soak out some of the aches, stuff like that.

I guess there's some good news, though. Today was payday, and there were things that required ordering. Like, for instance, a kitchen scale for those annoying times when recipe ingredients lists go by weight. And some cake tins. And some gluten-free self-raising flour that has good reviews and doesn't require me to know how much xanthan gum to put in the damn thing. I mean, bread is definitely on the list of things I want to make, but I also intend to make the absolute most out of Baking Yesteryear. So tomorrow, in between having to go out for a couple of errands and the never-ending overtime, I intend to make Admiral's Gingerbread. I will very much deserve a treat after this clusterfuck.