#i had a Debilitating dissociative disorder when i was younger bc i'd partitioned off the defensive me with no empathy versus
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
the more loved i am and the more i love people on purpose, the more comfortable i get with who i am. i think this is a natural product of getting older as well, you kinda settle into your skin and figure out what you want and how to go after it. the funny part about doing this for me is that like.... i don't feel things like other people do. i just don't. i have a pathological need for attention and i don't form attachments the same way that others do and i break connections very easily and i don't feel guilty about stuff. i do recognize when i'm WRONG and i change my behavior and/or my viewpoints when they're harmful and i actively work to combat my most maladaptive bullshit, so sometimes it's like.
i dunno. the whole stereotype of the self-aggrandizing sociopath who thinks they're above everything is boring, but sometimes it feels like there's something to it. like i'll see sensationalized explanations of 'narcissism' and 'sociopathy' that are like "these people can just choose not to care about stuff," and i'm like....
....yeah??
So The Fuck Can You.
in fact, you do. CONSTANTLY. by telling yourself that the real life living breathing human being asking for change on the street is a scammer, or a predator, or unpleasant, or too sick, or too strung-out, or otherwise too Other and inhuman to help. you only reserve your so-called "intrinsic empathy" for people that you relate to, and you turn it off when it gets uncomfortable.
i know exactly where i'm spending my emotional energy and who i'm spending it on. when i don't spend my emotional energy on someone, it's not because they're an unperson to me. it's because i simply don't wanna put my emotional energy there.
you guys could learn a thing or two about doing this. like. i know why i am how i am. what the fuck is YOUR excuse????
#i had a Debilitating dissociative disorder when i was younger bc i'd partitioned off the defensive me with no empathy versus#the Good (TM) me who Cares#and the older i get the more i'm like. i don't actually need to overextend myself and pretend i feel things i dont to be a good person.#in fact i hurt a LOT of people by pretending to have more energy than i did and then letting them down when they depended upon me#i'm largely very friendly and open and excited and accommodating and that's not a LIE that really is my personality#but it's also a performance to a point. this is closer to what i sound like when i'm not trying to be likable.#idk what to tag this. low empathy people are literally fine actually.
96 notes
·
View notes