#i guess. like it's implied. but buck is stupid lowkey

[stopthatfool]

wip that i've been working on since... may..

buck buckley ur my beautiful crazygirl dog beautiful beautiful i luv u crazygirl. eddie calling buck bud can be something so personal and sexually charged....

[helianthusaster]

Ok so I reread the last 3 chapters of the CardCaptor Sakura: Clear Card Manga and rewatched the last 4 episodes of the Anime adaptation and I Have Some Theories

MAJOR SPOILERS (MANGA & ANIME)

It’s stated in the manga (see Volume 11: Chapter 44; ie what was Supposed to happen at the end of Episode 69 sub/Episode 38 dub) that Fujitaka Kinomoto and Eriol are half of Clow Reed’s reincarnation. It is also stated that Sakura has no relatives on her dad’s side of the family, like Tsukishiro Yukito (Yue’s alter form) in the sense that they both have no blood-related family members (aside from Sakura). Amamiya/Kinomoto Nadeshiko, however, does. Which, by the previous logic, means she isn’t a reincarnation. The reason I’m saying this is because it is common in the series for characters with alter egos/true forms to have Grey Hair (ie Yukito) and I want to separate Nadeshiko from that category.

HOLY FUCK I HAD AN EPIPHANY AS I WAS WRITING THIS CAUSE I ACCIDENTALLY SAW SOMETHING I SHOULDNT HAVE AND I FEEL LIKE I KNOW THE MEANING OF LIFE!

KAITO IS TRYING TO BRING BACK AKIHO’S MOM (Nadeshiko’s Friend; I bet you 5 bucks her name is Alice) AND POSSIBLY NADESHIKO (Based on the part in the Clear Card manga Chapter 40 where he tells Xiaolang/Syaoran that “he would be “very, very mad” if he told him what he wanted to do, implying that what he wants to do would injure (erase?) Sakura, the girl he loves) USING THE CARDS SAKURA IS CREATING BECAUSE HE LOVED THEM BUT DIDNT REALIZE IT UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE CAUSE HE WAS NEVER SHOWN KINDNESS AS A KID AND THEN SUDDENLY TWO PEOPLE LOVED HIM AND HE LOST THEM AND NOW HE CANT DEAL WITH IT BECAUSE HE NEVER LEARNED HOW TO AND HE CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH EVEN WITH HIS TIME MAGIC SO HE TURNS TO THE MOST POWERFUL FUCKING FOURTEEN YEAR OLD IN THE GODDAMN UNIVERSE TO USE FORBIDDEN MAGIC THAT EVEN XIAOLANG/SYAORAN (Second Strongest Fourteen Year Old, Head of the Li Family) DOESNT KNOW ABOUT IN ORDER TO EITHER 1) TURN BACK TIME ON BOTH AKIHO AND SAKURA, ESSENTIALLY TURNING THEM INTO THEIR MOTHERS OR 2) TRAVEL BACK IN/TURN BACK TIME USING THE CLEAR CARD VERSION OF THE RETURN AND/OR TIME CARD (Which makes a lot more sense tbh; my guess it’s it’ll be called “Fate” or “Destiny”) AND REWRITE HISTORY SO THAT HE CAN FINALLY LIVE OUT HIS DAYS WITH HIS LOVED ONES (I suspect that Kaito traveled to the future in order to do all this because ofc that’s what happened—it’s CLAMP! So in the end, after Sakura and Xiaolang/Syaoran finally defeat him and the dazed Akiho (maybe it’ll be a dazed Sakura and Akiho vs Xiaolang/Syaoran and Tomoyo (cause Cardcaptor Tomoyo rights!!!) situation—which would be fucking epic! LET THE OLD CARDCAPTOR RIVALRY RETURN!!!) they end up sending him back in time or sealing him in his stupid fucking pocket watch (cause wouldn’t that be ironic!) or whatever and there’s a big moment where maybe Sakura finally learns that You Can’t Save Everyone and Kaito realizes—probably through Fujitaka and Yue cause they both know best—that People Die And That’s Okay, Just Remember The Good Times You Had With Them. And then Kaito’s time magic catches up with him and he kicks the bucket but it’s okay cause he can be with Nadeshiko and Aliceprobably now! And yeah Akiho will miss him and yeah she no longer had any family at FOURTEEN but hey she can move in with Sakura and Fujitaka, the College Professor/Archeologist, can adopt her and Touya can grow his “little-sister-complex” that his boyfriend teases him about even more! OR—EVEN BETTER—SHE CAN MOVE IN WITH YUKITO SO HE CAN END UP WITH A LITTLE SISTER COMPLEX SO TOUYA CAN TEASE HIM ABOUT IT!

And even if I’m wrong, Yukito and Touya are Canonically Boyfriends and Nothing Can Take That Away From Me!!!

Also I lowkey headcanon Kaito as Poly cause he Doesn’t Get the whole “My one and only” thing, meaning he probably loves more than one person; as a Poly Witch myself I am absolutely projecting onto Purple Tea Watch Man, k thx bye!!!

[ingloriousbi]

thoughts on sylvanas’ short, they’re long, ignore me im ranting and really wish blizzard would give half as much of a fuck as I did about their stupid fucking game and had any more than 0.1% understanding of their characters

im pretty sure that whoever is/are in charge of writing world building premises for world of warcraft are not the same people writing the actual character motivations and dialogue for the characters enacting stuff. i get it. the dude who writes “sylvanas burns teldrassil” is not the same guy as the person who wrote for sylvanas’ warbringer short, and that might also be a team of writers who share motivations, dialogue, and storyboard

but minor irritations aside (sylvanas dies in a mission called “the fall of silvermoon” but its the sunwell map, where kelthuzad is resurrected, and the mission BEFORE that is the mission that attacks ghostlands/eversong altho presumably not silvermoon, and at the time the sunwell wasn’t on quel’danas yet so i GUESS the geography changed, which is fine since its been almost 2 decades since wc3, but the short should’ve more accurately reflected sylvanas’ place of death since she died at the very end of the elves’ bitter campaign and no where near the beginning, which the short implies since she dies outside of the city with the golden fields and a civilian outside, and i know im a die-hard syvlanas stan and lore purist but imo what this short reflects a severe mis- and under-representation of sylvanas’ death, especially since she becomes a named banshee unit that participates in killing the last of her people and what remains of her kingdom)

this was bad writing. which ever fucker said “sylvanas burns teldrassil” that couldve been written in many ways, without making the alliance responsible (even tho they lowkey are and should be), that doesn’t portray... this. whoever wrote this dialogue+motivations wasn’t just someone who knows nothing about WC3, it was someone who hasn’t paid attention to ANY of sylvanas’ dialogue over the years; not her click speech, her quest dialogue, her part during the Northrend campaign such as the Horde halls of reflection or the battle for the undercity. its hard to swallow ‘sylvanas is evil/misunderstood/warmongering’ but its not like theyre trying to make it easy to swallow or a worthwhile, interesting story put already in canon

sylvanas wants to kill the concept of hope? sylvanas EMBODIES the concept of bitter, bitter hope. she literally freed herself from arthas and continued to bide her time to hunt him, even during the halls of reflection she maintained determination, patience, and desire of vengeance. this desire for vengeance EMBODIES hope lmao. it was the only thing driving the forsaken - it wasn’t a ‘positve’ hope that we typically associate with the word, but the desire for vengeance in not only arthas’ demise, but through rebuilding a society (both pre and post cata these were the forsaken’s motivations) embodies a level of ‘hope’ that isn’t really seen anywhere else except in MAYBE thrall, pre-cata jaina and pre-legion anduin (honestly, even post legion anduin; i dont play alliance and can only judge from his dialogue at varian’s funeral)

the idea that sylvanas wants to kill all the living is not only antithetical to her modus operandi for the last 16 years; its an incredible misunderstanding of her character on a fundamental level. even if that wants/needs to change we can argue and argue and argue for a potential lore reason/character development behind that (which would probably boil down to “old gods” but w/e) and we argue post-wotlk sylvanas changes significantly from pre-arthas’ fall BECAUSE of arthas fall through char development and lore we never saw becuase blizzard hates women and they want to put that out NOW, FINE

but “wants to kill hope”? ... oke

look one misunderstanding? from blizzard? onto their female characters? dissapointing but not surprising. but wow fans have for a very long time been actively ignoring canon or twisting lore to have it make some sort of sense, because a lot of people very deeply care about this game and its story and its characters, and a lot of lore/timelines/character motivations have been twisted over the years and have been dissapointing but can arguably make sense within what semblance of lore we have (im not a fan of new jaina, but theres definitely enough lore+character building to have it become plausible for her to be who she is now, even if i dislike it, that fundamental change in her values didnt come out of nowhere even if it was horrifically orchestrated because blizzard wanted to see her suffer and portray her like this lmao) but sylvanas’ character is being utterly decimated on a level that even jaina hasnt experienced, and to be frank im fucking furious and genuinely hurt

say what you want abt chris metzen but of all his dumb shit he wouldn’t have pulled this. at least he KNEW sylvanas, even if that meant he never used her or wrote for her a ton.

in the quest dialogue, sylvanas says that the campaign starts as a preemptive defensive strike against the alliance re:azerite in silithus, and while i disagree/think thats kind of questionable we know that garrosh’s unwillingness towards preemtive strikes led to death of a lot of innocent tauren in the barrens, and led to the bombing of theramore as a reactionary result, and sylvanas has canonically been known to be bitter, practical to a fault, and morally “grey” so saying “burn this tree down lmao, we’re gonna have to do it anyway, at least now we prevent innocents dying first and we get the lumber in ashenvale, hope the warsong are happy” is... alright. acceptable to a degree within the confines of the narrative they’ve forced upon me, even if the narrative itself is shit. but this? kill all the living? kill “hope”? this fundamental misunderstanding of her character. her lack of remorse at the ranger, these were moments that could’ve significantly foreshadowed a redemption arc but ten bucks on a fucking reworked siege of orgrimmar =)

anyway fuck blizzard

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: The Assassin’s Blade, Ch 1-2

Book: The Assassin’s Blade

Author: Sarah J. Mass

I chose to do this book because I’ve barely seen anyone critical of T0G talk about this book. I remember relatively liking it when I first read it, but I also liked Q0S on my first reading, so well. You all know how well that turned out. So let’s dive back into hell!

First, I wanna point out the cover of this novel uses the exact same model as T0G for Celery but throws a shitty purple cloak over her.

That’s totally not lazy at all! And it totally doesn’t add to my suspicion that The Ass’s Blade was rushed out to make a quick buck, nope nope! Also I only wish I could have a thigh gape that big, holy smokes Celery, eat some carbs.

This prequel book is made up of several short novellas before the events of the first book. The first one is Celery and the Pirate Lord.

Seated in the council room of the Assassins’ Keep, Celaena Sardothien leaned back in her chair. “It’s past four in the morning,” she said, adjusting the folds of her crimson silk dressing gown and crossing her bare legs beneath the wooden table. “This had better be important.”

Oh god, we’re back when Alien was Celery.... Well, tbh, they’re one in the same, Alien just splooges about herself more often. Who knows, maybe this book will change that.

“Perhaps if you hadn’t been reading all night, you wouldn’t be so exhausted,” snapped the young man seated across from her.

Love how Celery is a supposed badass uhmayzing assassin, but she stays up all night reading as opposed to... training? Getting some rest for missions? Anything that might not hinder you in your job?

[Celaena] ignored him and studied the four other people assembled in the underground chamber. All male, all far older than she, and all refusing to meet her stare.

Jesus Christ, it begins already. Of course they’re all older than her. Normally this wouldn’t bother me all that much but it’s SJM, so I’m immediately suspicious. Also Sam is in the room and he’s just barely a year older than her, how is that “far older than her”???

When Arobynn summoned you, you didn’t keep him waiting. Thankfully, her sleepwear was as exquisite as her daytime wardrobe—and cost nearly as much. Still, being sixteen in a room with men made her keep an eye on the neckline of her robe. Her beauty was a weapon—one she kept honed—but it could also be a vulnerability.

Just... this entire paragraph. I wish SJM would stop playing into the notion all men are dangerous rabid beasts who can’t control themselves and just wanna rape every woman they lay eyes on. It doesn’t even make sense here, Celery knows all of them and aside from creeper Arobynn, none of them have ever sexually harassed her so why is she suspicious? And gotta that lowkey sexism implying that all beautiful women are delicate flowers who can’t look after themselves.

“Gregori’s been caught,” Arobynn finally said. Well, that would explain one person missing from this meeting. “His mission was a trap. He’s now being held in the royal dungeons.” Celaena sighed through her nose. This was why she’d been awakened? She tapped a slippered foot on the marble floor. “Then kill him,” she said.

Man, Celery is... actually acting like an assassin? I mean, when you’re an assassin, the mission takes top priority. I wonder how long that’ll last, though.

She’d never liked Gregori, anyway. When she was ten, she’d fed his horse a bag of candy and he’d thrown a dagger at her head for it.

I mean yeah, that’s really sadistic. She’s a literal child and he tried to murder her? Granted SJM destroys what little sympathy I have by then explaining Celery caught the dagger and threw it back, giving him a scar on his cheek. Even when she was a literal child, she was the best assassin evah. Gag me.

“Kill Gregori?” demanded Sam, the young man seated at Arobynn’s left—a place that usually went to Ben, Arobynn’s second-in-command. Celaena knew very well what Sam Cortland thought of her.

Sam is the only other young character in the room so yeah, obviously he’s gonna be her love interest for this book. Henceforth, they do nothing but bicker for the first 70% of the novel.

The location of the Assassins’ Keep was a well-guarded secret, one she’d been trained to keep until her last breath. But even if she didn’t, no one was likely to believe that an elegant manor house on a very respectable street in Rifthold was home to some of the greatest assassins in the world. What better place to hide than in the middle of the capital city?

So you’re saying literally no one questions who owns this huge fancy elegant place? That the king never goes, “Huh, someone who has wealth to rival mine has a huge ass manor right in the middle of the Capital” and he never checks it out? Nobody questions it? Okay.... if you say so......

The firelight cast the smooth, elegant panes of Sam’s face into light and shadow—a face, she’d been told, that could have earned him a fortune if he’d followed in his mother ’s footsteps.

Considering that his mother is a courtesan...... gross. Stop sexualising your characters so much, please.

Turns out, Ben was also killed. Oh no, not the guy we literally never met before! Celery is pissy that they didn’t retrieve his body.

“If we’d grabbed his body,” Sam said, refusing to back down from her glare, “it would have led them right to the Keep.” “You’re assassins,” she growled at him. “You’re supposed to be able to retrieve a body without being seen.”

I mean, you should be able to retrieve a body given that you’re assassins, but eh, who am I kidding, I care little for the conflict of Retrieving Ben’s Body.

Since Arobynn is apparently the only mature guy in the room, he tells them to stop acting like children.

Sam kept his gaze on the floor as he strode to the far side of the council room. Crossing his arms, he leaned against the stone wall. She could still reach him - one flick of her wrist, and his throat would spout blood.

Holy shit, Celery, that’s murder!!! Like Sam just disagreed with you, that doesn’t warrant you imagining yourself slitting his throat!!! How the fuck are they gonna end up in love I have no idea.

Celery throws a pity party for herself and stomps off to retrieve Ben’s body. Sadly, she does not perish while doing so, and Chapter 2 begins.

Two months, three days, and about eight hours later, the clock on the mantel chimed noon. Captain Rolfe, Lord of the Pirates, was late.

Given that the actual Pirate Lord story begins here, the first chapter was, you guessed it, utterly pointless and could’ve been cut altogether.

Celaena, concealed behind a far-too-stuffy black cloak, tunic, and ebony mask, rose from her seat before the Pirate Lord’s desk. How dare he make her wait!

How dare the entire world not bend over backwards to accommodate Celery and her agenda! Fuck you.

“With every minute he makes us wait,” Celaena said to Sam, the mask making her words low and soft, “I’m adding an extra ten gold pieces to his debt.” Sam, who didn’t wear a mask over his handsome features, crossed his arms and scowled.

???? So why is she wearing a mask??? Does she have a pimple she’s embarrassed of??? Why???

Neither of them had been particularly happy when Arobynn announced that Sam would be sent to the Dead Islands with Celaena. Especially when Ben’s body—which Celaena had retrieved—had barely been in the ground for two months.

So how did she, a skinny sixteen year old, possibly carry a thirty year old man’s body and do it discreetly enough when the place was supposedly swarming with royal guards? How convenient that the first chapter ended so SJM didn’t have to explain this.

She raised her brows, but realized he couldn’t see. The mask and clothes were a necessary precaution, one that made it far easier to protect her identity. In fact, all of Arobynn’s assassins had been sworn to secrecy about who she was—under the threat of endless torture and eventual death.

Wait a minute, what the fuck? What the fuck... why...

Okay, I’m gonna do lay down for a bit, scream out my frustrations, the like. I’ll be back in a bit.

Alright.

What the fuck?? So you’re telling me she’s a famous assassin who uses her real name?? That her face is so recognizable she has to wear a mask??

THAT’S NOT HOW ASSASSINS WORK!!! The whole point of being an assassin is that nobody knows your real identity, you’re supposed to hide your name so you don’t get caught!!!! If you’re a famous assassin, you’re probably known by like, a cool nickname that isn’t your fucking name!! This makes no goddamn sense!! My assassin rebel leader from my dinosaur WIP is facepalming at what a dumbass Celery is.

All that the world knew about Celaena Sardothien, Adarlan’s Assassin, was that she was female. And she wanted to keep it that way. How else would she be able to stroll the broad avenues of Rifthold or infiltrate grand parties by posing as foreign nobility?

So is her face a giveaway or not?? She can’t show Rolfe her face, but she can stroll down the street and go to parties without concealing her face? This is beyond fucking stupid.

Rolfe shows up, and Sam demonstrates that he’s the only character with a brain in this novel.

Sam stood, bowing his head slightly. “Sam Cortland,” he said by way of greeting.

Meanwhile, Celery just fires sarcastic and ‘witty” quips one after another.

Rolfe’s eyes gleamed with the challenge. “You’re in my city, and on my island.” Only a handbreadth separated them. “You’re not in any position to give me orders.”

Slay her Rolfe!!! I stanned Rolfe in E0S, I’m gonna stan him here, because he is as sick of Celery’s bullshit as I am.

With two deft flicks of his wrist, Rolfe sliced open both envelopes with a letter-knife she somehow hadn’t spotted. How had she missed it? A fool’s mistake.

Lmfao, what a noob. Maybe if Celery wasn’t busy stuffing her nose up her own ass, she’d notice important shit like that.

Rolfe reads the letter which details Arobynn asking Rolfe for some slaves, and at least Celery has the decency to be disgusted by that. Strange that she was the capacity to care about someone other than herself, but I’ll at least give her points for that.

[Rolfe] pointed toward the door. “I have two rooms prepared for you.” “We only need one,” she interrupted. Rolfe’s eyebrows rose suggestively.

I mean, gross to sexualise your characters even more, but Celery does realize saying they only need one room does sort of imply she and Sam are a thing, right? Like she gets so pissy that Rolfe interprets it that way, but like, it does lowkey sound like they’re an item therefore she doesn’t mind sharing a bed with him? Whatever, who cares.

Celery wants to punch Rolfe in the dick but doesn’t and the chapter ends. So begins another tidal wave of absolute bullshit.....