#i genuinely don't know that i've read anything quite as shameless as this pseudohistory

[talesfromtheenchantedforest]

This was an island on the Western Sea, thirteen days distant from the place where Nacien had been imprisoned, and the local people called in the Turning Isle. This island was rightly called turning because it is true that it turned. But everyone who has heard about it does not know how it turns, and it is right that this story show the truth, for if it did not clearly show the reason and knowledge about every doubtful thing that it mentions, it would only be words interlaced together, just like people who speak many words, claiming their truth, but who cannot cite any support, except that they have heard it from others. This story eschews this bad way, for it does not set forth any doubtful statement without explaining it in utter clarity. That is why it is rightly called the Chronicle of Chronicles.

— The History of the Holy Grail, Chapter 20, Carol J. Chase translation

EXTREMELY rich coming from a chronicle that will go on to explain that God separated the our elements, and heaven was made of fire and air and earth was made of earth and water, but they were kind of stuck together, and so when he made heaven there was this icky ball of earth and water that also accrued some air and fire and when god kicked it out of heaven it turned because the fire and air wanted to go up and the water and earth wanted to go down and then it got stuck in the Western Sea because magnets

Oh and also that Jesus can scare Apollo into shutting up, that Jesus wrote three things with his own hands and one of them is this history of the holy grail, that first-century Britain was inhabited by “Saracens” who were converted to Christianity by Joseph of Arimethea, that Hippocrates was somehow contemporaneous with both Emperor Augustus Caesar and Jesus and was poisoned by the 12-year-old he forcibly married, and that Emperor Vaspasian’s kid was healed of leprosy by Jesus’s holy sweat cloth