#i genuinely can't believe it. it was so bad. i hit the halfway point and started praying. i don't think i got a single question right for

[saintcarrionn]

SUICIDE BACK ON TONIGHT ❗❗😃

[firelxdykatara]

Reader anon here with a thought!

Do you like love triangles? I personally don't, there is something about them that is incredibly frustrating lol. Same thing for harems, though there are some that do it tastefully 😌 so I can't be too upset by them.

It honestly depends on the love triangle and the way the author writes all three relationships (and, for any genuine love triangle, there should be three relationships--they don't all need to be romantic, but there needs to be an existing and strong relationship between all three points on the triangle, otherwise I'm almost certain not to be at all invested), how they are presented, and what the narrative purpose of the love triangle is.

Ironically, one of the best examples of a love triangle done well (at least... to a certain point in the story, which I'll explain in a bit) happened in a television show that is fairly notorious for turning to utter shit in the latter four seasons and alienating pretty much the entire fanbase, to the point where most of us dipped well before the end and everyone celebrated news of the show's cancellation.

I'm talking about The Vampire Diaries.

(under a cut because i went on a LOOOONG ramble about tvd and why that love triangle worked initially and then why it failed, and then i talked a bit about another love triangle that was pretty weak and failed almost from the outset in OUAT but was ultimately axed in favor of the stronger relationship and character being given focus, and what all of this means for how i feel about love triangles in general)

While this is still very much a case where I only shipped one side of the triangle, hated the other, and couldn't wait for it to be resolved so that I wouldn't have to deal with the side I disliked any longer (the writing was on the wall as far back as season 1, no matter how in denial a certain portion of the fandom remained right up until the series finale) the development of the triangle itself and how it affected all three characters and their relationships with one another was done very well for most of the first four seasons. Damon and Stefan were brothers, with a bloody and complicated history and relationship, and they both fell in love with this human girl--Stefan almost instantly, because she looked just like Katherine and he found himself... (and here I'm going to be as fair as I possibly can to him, but if you want my full anti stelena rant I have many of them prepped and ready to go) following her, at first to make sure she wasn't Katherine, and then inserting himself into her life to protect her. Damon, on the other hand, took much longer, because he was still in love with (and trying to rescue) Katherine, and so when he did fall in love with Elena, it was because of who she was, not because of some idealized 'Not Katherine' pedestal he placed her on the instant he met her.

(I swear, I swear I'm trying to be fair to Stefan, it's just very hard.)

The thing is, Elena was in love with Stefan almost from the jump. (And one of the reasons I never really shipped stelena is because that kind of insta-love with very little conflict that isn't manufactured by the plot just isn't compelling for me, and I fully jumped ship about halfway through s1 when Damon and Elena took a road trip together. It's a long story, but that remains one of my favorite episodes in the entire show and it marks the beginning of their actual journey together.) Stefan showed up at a time when she desperately needed someone, and to his credit he did help her through her early depressive spiral--in large part because Elena's recent trauma (survivor's guilt due to her parents dying in a car crash from which she was the only survivor) meant that finding out Stefan was immortal and could not die and would not leave her resulted in her getting fiercely attached.

He was safe, he was stable, she could rely on him. But she could not grow with him, because for him, she was essentially a morality pet/the anchor to his humanity, and that meant that he could not accept when she began to grow out of her need for him. The fact that this coincided with her becoming a vampire only made things worse--because she settled into being a vampire much more easily with far less strife than he'd ever managed, and an Elena who enjoyed being a vampire in ways Stefan simply couldn't could no longer function as the idealized reminder of humanity he was desperate to cling to.

Damon, on the other hand, was the one who fell in love with Elena--not Not Katherine. He never put her on a pedestal, he never asked more of her than she could give him--when he realized how deep his feelings for her ran, he made her forget his confession because he knew he did not deserve her and he didn't want her burdened with his feelings when she was still in love with his brother and was always going to be. Elena's growing feelings for Damon coincided with her growth from a depressed and suicidal teenage girl into a young woman who began to realize that it was ok to want things for herself--to be a little selfish, to take what she wanted, to admit what she wanted. And, again, the fact that this coincided with her transformation into a vampire (although her growth within her relationship with Damon began well before that), meant that Damon's reaction to Elena-as-a-vampire was thrown into sharp relief against Stefan's--because he accepted her where his brother couldn't.

Ultimately, this led to Elena fully outgrowing her feelings for Stefan, and accepting, nurturing, and reveling in her feelings for Damon. The triangle was resolved, all three characters had growth separately and in their different relationships, and they could then move on from there along their different paths. Stefan could have had some truly excellent character growth involving moving on and finally living for himself rather than trying so hard to be this perfect brooding tortured vampire because he was the Good Brother, since there was no longer any need for that Good Brother/Bad Brother dichotomy. They'd both grown past it, as characters individually and as brothers together.

Unfortunately, where TVD ultimately failed (and this coincided with the way the show utterly lost the plot in terms of storylines, character arcs and cohesiveness and became an unsalvageable mess) is in refusing to let the love triangle die.

What should have happened is that once the love triangle was resolved--Elena growing as a character and moving on from her immature first love and fully embracing her feelings, as an adult, for her much more adult relationship with Damon--they abandoned the love triangle premise and let all three characters continue to grow outside of it. Damon and Elena should have been allowed to grow together and explore their relationship, Stefan to figure out where he still fit in their lives--as Damon’s brother, and one of Elena’s closest friends who she still loved dearly even though she was no longer in love with him--and then explore relationships of his own outside their family unit as he finally began to fully move on and grow out of his own overly idealized feelings for Elena.

Instead, what wound up happening is that the stelena side of the love triangle kept being teased--probably to keep the avid stelena shipping contingent invested in the story, hoping for ‘another brother swap’ as was lampshaded in one of Nina’s final episodes before she left the show (and, indeed, many of them remained utterly convinced that stelena would be endgame, right up until the series finale)--and rather than growing together, delena fans were constantly hit over the head with how ‘toxic’ Damon and Elena were for each other (even though this ran contrary to everything we’d seen in the show to that point, including having Damon regress repeatedly for, presumably, no reason other than to never let fans forget he was the Bad Brother and always would be, and Elena just couldn’t help but love him anyway), and all three characters and their relationships wound up suffering horribly for it.

That is an example of a love triangle that had a very promising foundation and development, right up through what should have been a resolution, and the reason it is generally looked on so unfavorably in fandom circles is because the show refused to move on from the triangle organically when the story needed it to, because it had already served its purpose.

For an example of a love triangle that, in my mind, simply didn’t work from the very beginning, I’d say my go-to example is from Once Upon a Time--the short-lived love triangle between Emma, Killian, and Neal. I think the first stumbling block there was that there weren’t really three relationships that mattered. Technically, Killian did have a connection to Neal--because they’d met in Neverland, prior to Neal remaining in the Land Without magic--but it functioned more as a backdrop to explain why Killian knew him when they got to Neverland again in the story, and why Neal didn’t trust him. It wasn’t actually developed as anything outside of that brief flashback, and they didn’t have any connection in the present outside of one episode where they essentially fought over Emma and she (rightly) got angry at them for it. There was no real exploration of who they were to each other outside of the fact that both of them had feelings for Emma, so it really was just one woman torn between her feelings for two different men, and with no real stakes attached to her choice.

The other problem with this particular triangle is that one side of it was... conspicuously weak. While Emma’d had a full season and a half worth of interactions and development with Killian--where they went from enemies, to grudging allies, to Killian openly acknowledging that he hadn’t ever believed he would be able to love again until he met Emma--she had... very little to support her potential relationship with Neal outside of their history. History which consisted of then-young-adult Neal knocking up underage Emma (she was 17 at the oldest because she was still in Juvie when Henry was born, and he was already ten years old the day she turned 28; so she was either 16 or very newly 17 when she got pregnant) and ensuring that she got sent to prison for his own crime, at which point he didn’t see her again until she was nearly 30. When he did see her again, he treated her incredibly poorly, up to and including getting angry at her about the fact that she didn’t tell him that Henry was his son--even though he had no right to that information, because Emma was in prison because of him at the time she found out, and she had no clue that he was in any way connected to the Fairy Tale world until she was helping Mr. Gold track down his son and it turned out to be Neal.

A big point is made, throughout the early seasons especially, about Emma’s walls and how much difficulty she has trusting people--and a great deal of that stemmed from Neal’s betrayal. This could have been the foundation for a story of healing and growth and two people coming back together--however, with the way Neal treats Emma in the present and how little closure she actually gets for what he did to her in the past, it comes across more as ‘well, she never did get over her feelings for him, so maybe he still has a shot even though she has no real reason to want to be with him now’.

Killian, on the other hand, never doubted Emma’s abilities and always had the utmost trust in and respect for her (after they became allies), and it was obvious that this is something Emma experienced very little of in her life. It’s notable that the first episode where they really interacted is the one in which Emma’s history with Neal is revealed, and it very deliberately paralleled and contrasted with her interactions with Killian. This already presented him with a leg up on the love triangle once Neal did show up, because Neal was the reason for a lot of the walls Emma had built around her heart, and it wasn’t until meeting Killian that she finally began to let some of them down.

I think that the show recognized this, and it pulled something that is actually a very frustrating pet peeve of mine--rather than write out the story that makes sense and have the main point of the love triangle make a choice and stick to it, the third point of the triad was simply written out. In this case, Neal essentially killed himself via his own stupidity, allowing Emma to angst about losing him without actually having to tell him she wasn’t in love with him and wasn’t going to choose him. (Veronica Mars pulled something very similar with the Logan/Veronica/Duncian triangle in season 2--rather than admit within the narrative that her relationship with Duncan was built on flimsy feelings of infatuation bc of their history, and a ‘stability’ that didn’t really work for who Veronica was at her core, he simply got written out of the story, running away for Plot Reasons and never forcing Veronica to confront the fact that she wasn’t actually in love with him and hadn’t been for quite some time.)

I think that in OUaT, the love triangle could have worked if a relationship between Killian and Neal was not only established in the past but developed in the present--Killian was in love with Neal’s mother centuries earlier, and something I’m actually really upset we never got is the two of them talking about Milah and maybe Neal getting some closure for his mother’s abandonment and someone apologizing to him for what they put Baelfire through as a child--giving stakes to Emma’s choice beyond ‘one of them will be all uwu sad that he wasn’t picked’. It also would have worked much better if we were given any reason for Emma to still have feelings for Neal in the present beyond the history they shared, which caused Emma nothing but pain for the last decade and change. If Neal had treated her more fairly--if he’d treated her like someone he actually cared about and even still loved, rather than blaming her for things that were his own fault and undermining her belief in her own abilities, among other things--then their relationship might have been strong enough to stand on its own opposite Emma’s relationship with Killian. I don’t think it ever would’ve been a relationship that appealed to me, personally, but then I could have at least enjoyed watching the three of them grow together and seeing all of their relationships grow and change.

So, ultimately, TL;DR: I do like love triangles, conceptually, but there are a few requirements they must meet for me to feel anything other than irritated at the inclusion. One: there must be at least three equally important relationships between the three characters. If it’s just one character torn between her (or his, but it’s usually a woman) feelings for two unrelated people, that can be compelling for a short time but ultimately I’m going to be left feeling frustrated by her refusal to just make a damn choice and put me out of my misery. Two: there should be some sort of development in each relationship which makes the presence of the triangle narratively significant. Why is it important for one character to have conflicting romantic feelings for these two other people at the same time? What purpose does it serve either their character arcs or the story as a whole? While I am both a Bangel and a Spuffy shipper, I’ve never considered Angel/Buffy/Spike to be a love triangle--they are very different relationships that she had at very different points in her life, and while her feelings for Angel never really went away (and do cause some angst for Spike near the end of btvs) they are never really competing for her affections in any meaningful sense. If that competition does exist, there needs to be a compelling reason why. And, as a further addendum to this point, I need to at least understand why the main point of the triangle is invested in each relationship, even if I don’t ship it and actively dislike or even outright hate one side of the triangle. (I loathe stelena, but I’ve always understood why Elena was in love with him in the beginning of the show, for example. And before s5/s6, I was really pleased with how the show handled her feelings for him and finally allowed her to grow and move on from them.)

And finally, three: the triangle needs to be resolved at some point--and, when it is, it needs to stay that way. Where TVD ultimately lost me (aside from the ridiculous plot contrivances and rampant character assassination) was the refusal to let the love triangle die a natural death when it is what the story called for, and all three of their characters, their relationships, and the show as a whole suffered massively for it. So, when the primary point of the triangle makes a choice--particularly if she had made one choice in the beginning of the story, but it was clear that she was ultimately moving towards choosing the other side as she grew and her feelings and relationships grew and changed with her--let that be the end of it. Move on to exploring what that choice means for the main pair and the party not chosen, sure--maybe explore their feelings about not being chosen and how that affects their relationships with both of the others afterwards--but don’t constantly tease the possibility of the ‘losing side’ getting back together just to keep shippers invested. It’s only going to hurt your show and make everyone look callous and stupid.

Alternately, a final possibility: make it an ot3 instead. But again, if the other three conditions aren’t met (particularly number two, and its addendum; if I don’t understand why the main point of the triangle is in love with both other points, an ot3 is unlikely to resolve that issue and I’m only going to wind up resenting it), then this won’t work, because it’s just going to wind up a lopsided and stilted mess of a relationship that leaves me wishing the offending point of the triangle had been killed off just so I wouldn’t have to keep hearing about them.

[starlit-serenade]

Along the Red Thread | Chapter 1

🧣 Summary: It is said that a red thread connects people who are soulmates and destined to be lovers, regardless of place and circumstances. What makes this difficult is that you stopped believing in love a long time ago. OR. You go to Korea to visit your father after several years. There, a mysterious red thread that seemingly only you can see shows up when you least expect it, and you meet a childhood friend you’d never thought you would see again.

🧣 Chapter 1: 1,991 words

🧣 Pairing: Reader x Kim Geonhak (Leedo) / Characters: GenderNeutral!Reader; Kim Geonhak (Leedo); Kim Youngjo (Ravn); Lee Seoho (Seoho); Lee Keonhee (Keonhee); Yeo Hwanwoong (Hwanwoong); Son Dongju/Xion; a couple of OCs;

🧣 Rated: T / Warnings: Mentions of divorce (Y/N’s parents); Mentions of abuse (physical); Instances of abuse (non-physical); Mentions of child abuse; Swearing / Genre: Angst; Fluff; Soulmate!AU (Red Thread of Fate); ChildhoodBestFriends!AU; Happy Ending;

《 Boy Group Masterlist // ONEUS Masterlist // Series Masterlist 》

You see your father waiting at the entrance of the airport as you exit baggage claim. You haven't seen him in a long time, especially not alone, but he looks almost the same as he did when he moved here to Korea with his wife, who now stands beside him, waiting for you. She looks to be almost half your father's age, but you don't say anything. 

Several years ago, two years before you entered high school, your parents divorced, and later your dad moved to South Korea with his Korean wife. Since then, he would visit your home once a year, for a week at a time on your birthday. But you've never been to Korea before now.

You had a friend when you were younger who was from Korea. But a year after your parents split, he moved back home to Korea. You fell out of contact soon after, but you often wonder how he's doing.

You approach your father. Your height difference has changed significantly since you last saw him. You're now much closer to his height than you were before. His wife, a Korean woman you met once when he introduced you so many years ago, before he moved to Korea. You don't remember her name very clearly. It started with an S, maybe? Or a J? Something like that. Her black hair is cut in a short bob, and her smile is soft, almost insincere. A little boy you didn't notice stands beside her, looking up at you curiously.

"Hi, Y/N," your father says, giving you a hug. You return it, uncomfortably, and then pull away. You smile in an attempt to placebo yourself into feeling more comfortable, but it doesn't work. "How was your flight?" 

"Fine," you say. "A bit bumpy, but not too bad.

"Have you met my wife?" he asks, placing his hand on his wife's back. You shake your head.

"Hello, I'm Sooyeon," your step-mother says. She shakes your hand, then directs your attention to the little boy beside her, who is now hiding behind his mother's legs. "And this is Sunho."

You bend down to Sunho's face level, in sort of an uncomfortable squat. "Hello," you say, your voice softer. He waves with his tiny hand.

"How old are you?" you ask. His mother, Sooyeon, translates to him. He must not speak English. Or maybe he just isn't fluent. Sunho  raises his hands up to you, showing five fingers on one hand and his thumb on the other.

"Oh, six?"

"Yes, he's six years old."

You nod. Sunho smiles at you proudly, and he smiles back, still hiding behind the cloth of his mom's skirt.

"He's shy," Sooyeon explains.

Your father directs you out of the airport to his car. You sit in the back with your half brother, Sunho, while your dad and step-mother sit in the front and passenger seats. The ride to their apartment is quiet except for Sunho, who giggles as you make silly faces at him. At the same time, you watch the buildings zip past.

You haven't seen your father in about a year, but he's barely spoken to you since you've arrived, other than introducing you to his wife. You don't know if you should be surprised.

You reach the apartment, and your father helps bring your stuff inside. He shows you to your room. It's empty, and blinding white, as if they just had it cleaned this morning. You walk over to the bed to stand in the center of the room. It feels so empty and plain and large, compared to your small room at your home.

"Y/Nah," your dad says from the doorway. You turn to him, slightly startled by his voice. You've been here in Korea for a few hours and you still aren't used to his voice yet. "Sooyeon is going to have dinner ready in about half an hour. Does that sound good?"

You nod. "Yes."

"Y/N . . ." You look up at your father questioningly. "I'm happy to see you."

You nod, unsure of whether you feel the same way. There are reasons you live with your mom full time and only see your father once a year.

Your father closes the door as he leaves you alone to take in the room on your own. You set your bag aside and open the closet to find it empty. Since you'll be here for two months, you are expected to use the room as you wish. You don't have enough clothes to fill the closet yet in your suitcase, but you wouldn't be surprised if you collect additional clothes during this trip.

You put away all of your things, hanging up your jacket and putting away your shirts and pants. You stare at the bed. It's so clean that you almost don't want to lie down. But you're tired from the plane ride and the emotional exhaustion of meeting your father for the first time in forever. But also, Sooyeon is making dinner for the four of you, so you can't sleep, because that would both be rude to her and would also mess up your sleep schedule for the next two months.

With somewhere between ten and twenty minutes left before dinner--you haven't been keeping track--you decide to sit down on your bed and scroll through the internet and think.

You think about how you used to come to school and tell your friend, the Korean kid--gosh, you wish you could remember his name, he was so nice, but it was so long ago--about what happened at home the day before. You would tell him about how you couldn't sleep because your parents were screaming at each other again, or you would tell him about how your father hurt you or locked you in the basement as a punishment.

You sigh. Aren't parents supposed to be the adults you look up to? The ones who you learn from? Aren't parents supposed to be an example of a healthy relationship? But instead, all you saw and heard was screaming and violence. You grew up being afraid of your own safety, and wondering if watching your mother being hit or threatened was normal.

You frown. The more of that you saw, the more and more you gave up on the idea of a relationship. It was what love was supposed to be--doors slamming, screaming every night--you didn't want it.

Why did you want to come here and spend two months in Korea with your father again?

Right. You wanted to try to mend your relationship with him. Why? Because he wanted you to. And you knew that, if it didn't end up working out, you are now old enough to get a room at a hotel to stay safe if needed.

You sigh. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Maybe you should go back home and--

"Y/N?"

You look at the door. Sooyeon, your step-mother, has opened the door just enough to poke her head inside the room. You must have been so deep in your thoughts to not hear her open the door.

"Yes?" you say, your voice light as you pretend to be happy and excited to be here and see her.

"Dinner is ready," she says.

"Oh, thank you, Miss Sooyeon. I'll be there in a minute."

"Of course. And please, call me Eomma," she says, smiling widely. You nod, though you aren't very comfortable with calling her the Korean word for mom. You already have a mom who raised you alone for the past six years. Why would you call this woman who you barely know cmom" when you don't see her as that? When you already have a mom that raised you alone? You'd rather call her Miss. Sooyeon.

"Thank you, Eomma," you say anyway. You're afraid that, if your dad finds out you're being disrespectful or disobedient, you'll get in trouble.

She disappears from the doorway, closing the door as she leaves, and you sigh. You're already so emotionally drained by being here, and you still have two months left.

You swing your legs off of the bed and stand up. All you have to do is get through dinner and then you can go to bed and sleep. Maybe in the morning, you'll feel better about being here.

You walk over to the dining room. Your father is sitting at the table, which has been set with table mats, plates and silverware. Sooyeon stands next to him, and Sunho sits across from him. He smiles at the sight of you and points to you. Your father and Sooyeon both look at you at the same time. They both smile widely, but their smiles don't make you feel comfortable. So you just smile at Sunho instead and sit next to your father while Sooyeon sits next to Sunho.

"So Y/N," Sooyeon says, halfway through the meal. "What do you like to do?"

You blink. How do you answer that? You don't know this woman. You don't know if she's genuinely asking because she's genuinely curious, or if she wants information for something, or if she's going to judge you and criticize you, or if--

You shake yourself. These are your trust issues speaking. Maybe you should just answer her like a normal person without trust issues would.

"I listen to music. And I play some video games. I read and draw a lot. I just finished my freshman year of college, so it's difficult to focus on my hobbies as much as usual," you say, sipping from your glass of water.

"Oh? What kind of music do you listen to?"

You squirm in your chair. All of these questions being shot at you are starting to feel like an interrogation, and it makes you feel anxious.

"I, uh, listen to many types of music," you stutter, your voice quiet from the internal stress.

"Y/Nah, don't mumble," your dad scolds loudly from next to you, causing you to jump in your chair. You're still not used to his voice, and him scolding you for the first time in years isn't helping at all.

"Sorry, dad," you mumble, ducking your head. 

"Answer your Eomma's question," your dad says, leaning toward you,  and you wince at him speaking so close to you. His voice is loud, demanding, and booming. The same that you remember, back when he would shut you in the garage or closet when you were twelve.

You take a deep breath.

"I listen to many types of music. Not a specific type, really." You can feel two pairs of eyes on you. Your father and Sooyeon are staring at you, while Sunho just continues eating. "Eomma," you add. Your father leans back in his chair, and you wish you could feel that relaxed.

You had expected that he might have changed in the past seven years. You'd hoped he'd become less violent and scary.

It seems he hasn't.

He's almost the same as you remember.

Loud, angry and intimidating. His presence demeaning power and attention from the rest of the room.

"You're in college, right?" Sooyeon asks.

"Yes," you confirm.. "I just finished my first year."

"And how was your first year of college?" she asks.

"Fine."

She nods, and doesn't ask anymore questions. You wonder if you made it clear enough that this is a topic you aren't interested in talking about with her.

You finish your dinner in silence. Your father allows you to wash your dishes before you head to your room to say goodnight.

You sit on your bed, considering the past few  hours you've spent here in Korea. It's not bad. The city is nice. The bed is comfortable.

But none of that really erases the memories of your parents screaming through the walls, the fear and pain you endured for several years and the loneliness you endured for several more years.

Really, you're not here for fun. You're here to mend a broken relationship that you're not even sure is worth salvaging.

[naivefrenzy-a]

triquestar​:

   he had lied down on the bed, his phone loosely in hand. when it vibrated, he quickly brought it back up. it was from a number he didn’t have in his phone, so he saved it under the first random korean name he could think of  —  mostly so that no one would ask questions.

      hey.

   he waited a beat. should he wait for another reply? he shook his head. no. better get it out now. he promised he would explain, so he would. if she didn’t want to talk anymore after that, that was fine. at least they’d find closure, maybe.

      when I got back to south korea, I was finally accepted into an idol training program not even a week later. I dropped out of school for it. I moved to seoul, in a dormitory, so I had a different address. I don’t know if you ever wrote me, but if you did, my father didn’t bother to forward your letters to me. I had to give up my phone. I didn’t have one for, I think, four years. maybe a bit longer, actually, I don’t know. I didn’t really have time for anything, or the means for much. I didn’t see any family or friends. I trained for fourteen to eighteen hours per day, seven days a week, for four years. when debut came around the corner, I thought about looking for your information, I know I still have that scrap from your notebook somewhere. but at that point, I wasn’t sure if you still wanted to talk to me, or if the information was even still correct. so I didn’t.

   he reread what he sent a couple times. jiwoon wasn’t certain how he sounded, but it was the truth. he did feel bad about it, but he hadn’t wanted to sabotage his chance at his dream career for a girl who was halfway across the world, no matter how much she had meant to him at the time. so he had followed all the rules down to the very last letter.

      if it means anything now, I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a warning. or perhaps I should’ve told you how this worked when I told you what I wanted to do. I didn’t think about it.

WELL , IT WAS NICE TO KNOW regardless that she hadn't been forgotten as she had worried , hearing that he had considered looking her up even somehow made her feel a little better , even -- especially to hear he kept ( she automatically takes note , he said he knew he STILL HAD , meaning even now , ) the scrap of paper she gave them not long after they had met with her name & number scrawled in GLITTER PEN across it.

screen lights up as another message is sent , green irises scan the words as her heart FLUTTERS in her chest for a brief moment. he was sorry -- & she felt like it was GENUINE.

i did send letters -- god , i can't even remember how many i sent the first few months.... i called so many times i started too worry that you had gotten annoyed with me and that was why you had stopped reaching out. for a while , i just gave up on writing you -- it just hurt to think that you might have actually read the letters i sent and never replied once , so i stopped.. and then my dad died a few years later...

FINGERS TYPE QUICKLY , but not as quickly as thoughts flow from her brain as she finishes & hits SEND -- she couldn't believe she had sent that at all. but too know that he wasn't even sure if she had ever TRIED to write or keep in touch was just too much for her not too say it.

then , i started seeing you on TV -- and i didn't know what too think. i was so so happy for you .... but at the same time , i wished so badly i could've known why you never called. when i heard you would be coming to town , at first i wasn't going to show up...

susie pauses , she HAS TOO as her hands tremble , blinking away the tears that well & blur her vision as she takes a staggered breath before pressing send again.

but. i had too come and see you. i don't know why , but my brain wasn't going to stop unless i went.