#i found your front yard from 2018

[boosyboo9206]

IYKYK

[mononijikayu]

so high school ! — itadori yuuji.

Yuuji chuckled, his laughter mingling with yours in the quiet of the room. "Yeah, I guess I was pretty excited to become a jujutsu sorcerer. It gave me some purpose, y’know?" he admitted, his expression softening with nostalgia. "But meeting you was definitely the best part of that day. You were smiling at me and I just think it made me happy!”

GENRE: cursed womb arc, 2018;

WARNING/S: alternate universe - canon convergence, actors au, friends, friends to lovers, domesticity, fluff, romance, humor, first love, first love, flirting, slice of life;

LISTEN: so high school by taylor swift

NOTE: i wrote this inspired by a friend's idea and here it is. i love yuuji so much guys. he deserves so much good things in life. seeing him suffer in the manga, i think this is where he belongs - shojo </3

masterlist

kayu's playlist — side 700;

YOU WONDER IF YOU WERE BEING TOO OBVIOUS. It was a typical day at Jujutsu High, filled with training, missions, and the occasional life-or-death encounter. But for you, there was something—or rather, someone—who made every day feel like high school all over again. That someone was Itadori Yuuji.

Every time you looked at Itadori Yuuji, you felt a flutter in your chest, a sense of nervous excitement that reminded you of teenage crushes and awkward confessions. Today was no different. As you sat in the training yard, pretending to read a book, you couldn't help but sneak glances at him. He was sparring with Megumi, his movements fluid and powerful, each strike and dodge a testament to his strength and agility. But what caught your attention even more were the brief moments when his gaze would flicker towards you.

Your heart would skip a beat each time, and you'd quickly hide behind your book, cheeks burning with embarrassment. It was almost comical how transparent you felt, as if everyone around could see the obvious attraction you had for Yuuji. The pages of your book blurred as you tried to focus on the words, but your mind kept drifting back to the way Yuuji moved, the determination in his eyes, and the infectious smile that seemed to light up the entire training yard.

The day carried on with its usual routines, but you found it increasingly difficult to concentrate. Your thoughts were consumed by Yuuji, his laughter echoing in your ears, his encouraging words to Megumi resonating within you. It was as if he had a gravitational pull that you couldn't escape, drawing you in closer with each passing moment.

"I feel so high school every time I look at you," you muttered to yourself, watching him through the pages. You sighed. “Why is he so pretty? It’s hard not to look. Not fair.”

During a break in the sparring session, Yuuji caught your eye and grinned, wiping sweat from his brow. Your heart fluttered wildly, and you ducked your head, pretending to be engrossed in your book. But the heat in your cheeks betrayed you, and you knew your efforts to remain inconspicuous were futile.

"Hey!" Yuuji called out, making his way over to you. Your heart pounded in your chest, the book trembling slightly in your hands. When you finally dared to look up, he was standing right in front of you, his smile warm and inviting.

"O-oh! Hi, Yuuji," you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper. The proximity made your nerves dance on edge. You smiled tensely, hiding your book. “W-what’s up?”

"Taking a break from training?" he asked, his tone casual but his eyes searching yours with a curious intensity. You nodded, unable to form a coherent sentence as the fluttering in your chest intensified.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked, already sitting down beside you. The sudden closeness made your breath hitch, and you could feel the heat radiating from his body. You nodded again, feeling utterly helpless in the face of his charm.

For a moment, the world seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in the quiet corner of the training yard. The awkwardness of high school crushes came rushing back, but this time, there was an undeniable connection, a spark that made you hope that maybe, just maybe, Yuuji felt the same way.

As he settled in beside you, Yuuji turned his head and looked at you with that disarming smile. "You know….." he began, his voice soft but clear, "I've noticed you watching me during training."

Your cheeks burned hotter, and you stammered, "I-I was just... um, I mean..."

He chuckled, a warm, comforting sound that made your heart flutter even more. "It's okay!" he said, his gaze gentle and understanding. "I've been watching you too."

The admission hung in the air, a silent confession that seemed to bridge the gap between you. The flutter in your chest transformed into a steady, hopeful beat, and for the first time, you allowed yourself to believe that this nervous excitement might lead to something wonderful.

The awkward silence that followed his words felt charged with potential. You could see the sincerity in Yuuji's eyes, the same nervous anticipation mirrored in his expression. He shifted slightly, his shoulder brushing against yours, and the contact sent a jolt of electricity through you.

"So….." he began, his voice a little hesitant. He looked a bit flustered, ears slightly red. "Do you want to maybe... train together sometime? Or just hang out? I mean, if you're not too busy or anything."

Your heart soared at his suggestion, the idea of spending more time with him sending waves of happiness through you. "I'd like that." you replied, your voice steadier than before. "I'd like that a lot."

Yuuji's face lit up with a smile that made your heart skip a beat. "Great! How about after today's session? We could grab something to eat and then maybe... I don't know, just talk?"

"That sounds perfect," you said, unable to keep the smile off your face.

For the rest of the training session, it was hard to concentrate. Every glance Yuuji sent your way, every encouraging word, seemed to stoke the fire of excitement and anticipation. When the final sparring round ended, you quickly packed up your things, your mind racing with the possibilities of what the evening might bring.

Yuuji met you at the edge of the training yard, his eyes sparkling with the same excitement you felt. "Ready to go?" he asked, his voice full of warmth and eagerness.

"Absolutely," you replied, feeling a thrill of anticipation.

As you walked together through the campus of Jujutsu High, the conversation flowed easily, a mix of lighthearted banter and more serious topics. Yuuji's laughter was infectious, his stories captivating, and you found yourself opening up to him in ways you hadn't expected.

At a small, cozy café just outside the campus, you both ordered your favorite meals and settled into a booth. The atmosphere was relaxed, the soft hum of conversation around you creating a comfortable backdrop for your own exchange.

"So, tell me," Yuuji said, leaning forward with genuine interest, "What made you join Jujutsu High? What's your story?"

You hesitated for a moment, but the openness in his expression encouraged you to share. "Well, it's a bit complicated," you began, tracing the rim of your cup with your finger. "I lost someone important to me to a curse. It changed my life, and I realized I wanted to prevent that from happening to others. So, I trained and eventually found my way here."

Yuuji nodded, his eyes filled with understanding. "I get it. Losing someone can be... really hard. But it's amazing that you turned that pain into something positive. You're helping others, and that's really inspiring."

His words touched you deeply, and you felt a connection with him that went beyond mere attraction. "What about you?" you asked, wanting to know more about the person who had become such an important part of your daily thoughts.

Yuuji's face grew more serious, but he maintained his warm demeanor. "It's a long story, but basically, I got involved with curses because of something I found—a cursed object. It led me here, and now I'm doing my best to make a difference, just like you."

You nodded, feeling a deeper connection with him. "I'm really sorry about your loss, Yuuji," you said softly, your eyes meeting his. "It must have been so hard."

Yuuji's expression softened, and he gave you a reassuring smile. "It's okay," he said, his voice gentle. "I'm okay now because I've met people who make it better, who make me feel like I belong. People like you."

His words touched your heart, filling you with a warmth that seemed to chase away the lingering shadows of your own past. "Thank you, Yuuji," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "That means a lot to me."

As the evening passed in a blur of conversation and laughter, you found yourselves delving into various topics, from favorite foods to shared interests. At one point, the conversation turned to the latest human earth work movie series, a topic that you both shared a passion for.

"I can't believe how intense the latest installment was. Like, it was just crazy!" you remarked, excitement lacing your voice. "The plot twists about the doctor had me on the edge of my seat the entire time."

Yuuji nodded in agreement, a grin spreading across his face. "I know, right? And the special effects were mind-blowing! It felt like I was right there in the middle of the action. It was crazy!”

As you walked side by side through the quiet campus, the night sky above you filled with twinkling stars, the bond between you felt stronger than ever. The shared moments of laughter that had brought you closer together made your heart beat over and over against your chest.. With each step, you felt a sense of warmth and contentment wash over you, grateful for what Yuuji brought into your life.

When you reached the dormitory entrance, Yuuji turned to you, his expression soft and earnest. "Tonight was really great, y’know!" he said. "I had a lot of fun, and I hope we can do this again."

"Me too," you replied, your heart full. "I'd love that."

He smiled, and for a moment, it seemed like he might say something more. But instead, he simply took your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Goodnight," he said softly, his voice filled with warmth.

"Goodnight, Yuuji," you replied, squeezing his hand back before reluctantly letting go.

You wanted to look back towards him.

And you were sure that he was going to.

You wanted to continue drinking what he thinks.

You wanted to be high on his jokes all damn night.

Back inside, you squealed behind your door, blushing.

You just felt so high school when you were with him.

YOU WERE TOO EXHAUSTED TO MAKE A SOUND.  It had been a couple of days later after you went out with him. It’s been a while since you had gone through a mission — so you feel like you’ve been out of practice. You can only think that’s the reason why you ended up feeling rusty as you fought the curses. 

You could only sigh as  you returned from a particularly grueling mission, each step heavier than the last. There was some regret on your part, you were sure. You thought you’d do better than last time. But you only feel defeated. Still, the job was done. You had to put everything that happened behind you now. You wouldn’t be able to move forward as a sorcerer if you keep thinking about it. Well, that’s what Gojo–sensei says.

Exhausted and bruised, you made your way back to Jujutsu High, longing for the familiar comfort of your room and the solace of a hot shower. Despite the fatigue that weighed heavily on your shoulders, a part of you couldn't help but hope for a glimpse of Itadori Yuuji. You had been texting each other these past few days while you were gone on back-to-back missions. 

Those messages had kept your spirits up, knowing that someone was cheering you on, that someone was waiting for you to come home. His words of encouragement and light-hearted jokes had been a lifeline, making the long nights a little less lonely and the dangerous encounters a little less daunting. The thought of seeing him again was a bright spot in your otherwise wearied mind. It felt like the sun was finally returning in your life after days of only the cold dauntless gray clouds. 

As you trudged down the corridor towards your quarters, you heard a familiar, cheerful voice calling your name. You turned to see Yuuji jogging towards you, his face lighting up with a broad smile as he approached. The sight of him was like a balm to your weary soul, and you felt a surge of warmth spread through you. You couldn’t help but smile back at him too as you waved at him.

"You're back!" Yuuji exclaimed, stopping just in front of you. You could see his energy peak as he smiled at you. You think you still had some time getting used to it. "How did the mission go? Are you okay? I hope you aren’t too sore, like you know!”

You managed a tired smile. "It was tough, but I'm fine. Just really tired."

Yuuji's expression softened with concern. "You look exhausted. Come on, let's get you back to your dorm room! You need rest!”

Without waiting for your reply, he gently took your arm, his touch firm yet gentle as he guided you towards your quarters. The warmth of his hand on your arm sent a comforting sensation coursing through you, like a reassuring anchor in the midst of a storm. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes, reminding you that you weren't alone in this.

As you walked together, his presence beside you was a steady source of support. The weight of exhaustion and the memories of the mission still lingered, but somehow, they felt lighter with him by your side. He kept the conversation light, his words a soothing balm to your weary soul. 

Instead of probing into the details of the mission, he asked about your well-being in a way that allowed you to share as much or as little as you wanted. It was a subtle yet profound display of empathy, a testament to his understanding of what you needed in that moment.

With each step, you felt yourself relaxing, the tension in your shoulders easing as you basked in the warmth of his presence. It was as if the weight of the world had been lifted off your shoulders, replaced by a sense of calm and serenity. In that moment, surrounded by the comforting embrace of his care and concern, you felt safe, cherished, and deeply grateful for his unwavering support.

When you finally reached your room, Yuuji insisted on helping you inside. He looked around, spotting the kitchenette. "Why don't you sit down and rest? You must be hungry now, right? I'll make you something to eat."

You protested weakly, but the truth was that you were too tired to argue. With a grateful nod, you sank onto your bed, watching as Yuuji moved around your small kitchen with surprising ease. In no time, he had whipped up a simple but hearty meal. The aroma alone made your stomach rumble, and you realized just how hungry you were.

"Here you go," he said, bringing a steaming bowl of soba over to you. He grins at you with a thumbs up. "Eat up. It'll help you feel better."

As you took the bowl from him, your fingers naturally brushed against his in the process, sending a subtle yet unmistakable jolt of electricity coursing through you. It was a fleeting touch, but it sparked something deep within you, a warmth that spread from your fingertips to the very core of your being. The simple act of sharing a meal with Yuuji felt oddly intimate, like a silent affirmation of the bond that existed between you.

As you ate, Yuuji remained beside you, his presence a constant source of comfort and reassurance. He didn't need to say anything; his mere presence was enough to ease the fatigue and tension that had built up during the mission. With each passing moment, you found yourself relaxing more, the weight of the world gradually lifting from your shoulders.

Unbeknownst to you, Yuuji's gaze never wavered from you. You don’t think you’ll ever see something more profound than him looking at you. The way he looked at you was something you didn't notice, too lost in your own thoughts and the exhaustion that still lingered. But to him, it was everything. 

His eyes spoke volumes, filled with a tenderness and depth of emotion that words could never fully capture. In that moment, as he watched you eat, he felt an overwhelming sense of love and contentment wash over him. It was the most tender expression he could offer, a silent declaration of his unwavering affection and devotion to you.

After you finished eating, your energy replenished and your spirits lifted, Yuuji reached for the bowl, his movements fluid and graceful. With a gentle touch, he took it from you, his fingers brushing against yours once again in a fleeting caress. It was a simple gesture, but it spoke volumes, conveying a sense of care and consideration that warmed your heart.

Setting the bowl aside, Yuuji turned back to you, his gaze soft and attentive. There was a quiet intensity in his eyes, a depth of emotion that made your breath catch in your throat. In that moment, as you looked into each other's eyes, it felt as though time stood still. There was a silent understanding between you, a bond that transcended words and spoke directly to the heart.

With a tender smile, Yuuji reached out to take your hand in his, his touch gentle yet reassuring. It was a gesture of comfort, a silent reminder that you were not alone. In his presence, you found solace, a sense of peace that washed over you like a gentle wave. Together, you sat in companionable silence, the warmth of his hand in yours a comforting anchor in the midst of the storm. But soon, Yuuji broke that silence.

"Feel better?" he asked, his bright eyes searching for yours, softness in his eyes.

You nodded, feeling a sense of contentment settle over you. "Yeah, much better. Thank you, Yuuji. You didn't have to do all this."

He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "I wanted to. Besides, I missed you."

His admission made your heart flutter. "I missed you too, you know." you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper.

Yuuji's expression grew with relief, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your breath catch. 

"I'm glad you're back safe, hm?" he said softly. "I was worried about you. I kept texting, telling you what I’ve been doing while you were away. I don’t think they were getting through!”

You couldn’t help but giggle at him. He was adorable. “There just wasn’t any signal. You know, you could send the pictures again if you want.”

He grinned wider. “Would you like to see them?”

“Yeah, send them to me.” You nodded, smiling back just as widely. “I’ll look at them!”

For a moment, the exhaustion and bruises of the mission faded away, replaced by the warmth of his gaze and the sincerity in his voice. He kept telling you about places he ate along with Gojo–sensei, things he, Kugisaki and Fushiguro took pictures of. You felt comfort in knowing that his voice was always as tender and warm as a hug. The connection between you felt stronger than ever, and you knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, you would face them together.

"Thank you," you said again, reaching out to take his hand. "For everything."

Yuuji squeezed your hand gently, his touch reassuring and grounding. "Anytime," he replied, his voice full of promise.

As you sat together, the room filled with a comfortable silence, you realized that this was where you belonged. With Yuuji by your side, you felt ready to face whatever the future held, knowing that you had someone who cared for you deeply and would stand by you no matter what.

As the peaceful silence enveloped you both, Yuuji broke it with a soft chuckle. "You know," he began, his voice tinged with a hint of amusement, "Whenever I'm with you….I just feel like I'm young.”

You turned to him, giggling. "Younger days? Yuuji, we’re in high school!”

He nodded, a smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, exactly. Like it’s meant to be, y’know? It's like all the worries and responsibilities just melt away, and I'm free to be myself. Like we’re finally kids.”

You couldn't help but smile at his words, feeling a warmth spread through you at the thought of being able to bring Yuuji a sense of youthful joy and freedom. "I'm glad I can help you feel that way," you replied sincerely. "Being with you makes me feel the same, you know?”

You looked at him tenderly for a second.

The same shine in his eyes as he looked back.

You felt your lips echo into bright beaming laughter.

You both felt bittersweet sixteen all of a sudden.

But that was alright, when the two of you were together.

IT HAD BEEN MONTHS SINCE YOU BOTH STARTED GOING OUT.  As the days turned into weeks, your bond with Yuuji only seemed to grow stronger with each passing moment. Every date, every shared meal, every laughter-filled conversation only served to deepen the connection between you. It was as if you were caught in a whirlwind of emotions, unable to resist the magnetic pull drawing you closer together.

Yet, despite the undeniable chemistry between you, there remained an unspoken understanding that neither of you had ever explicitly labeled your relationship. It was a silent agreement that hung between you, a delicate balance that you were both hesitant to disrupt.

You often found yourself grappling with the question of how to broach the subject with Yuuji. Each time you considered bringing it up, the words seemed to stick in your throat, weighed down by the fear of ruining what you had. You feared the uncertainty that came with putting a label on things, worried that it might change the dynamic between you or worse, lead to disappointment.

But even as you wrestled with your doubts and insecurities, there was an undeniable truth that lingered in the back of your mind. You knew deep down that your feelings for Yuuji went beyond mere friendship, that there was something more between you that defied easy categorization.

So for now, you thought to yourself that you were content to savor the moments you shared, cherishing each stolen glance, each tender touch, each whispered conversation as if it were a precious gift. And as you navigated the uncharted waters of your relationship with Yuuji, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement mingled with apprehension, wondering what the future held for the two of you.

After an exhausting training session that left you feeling drained both physically and mentally, Yuuji's hopeful smile was like a beacon of light in the darkness. His eyes held a spark of excitement as he turned to you, the corners of his lips upturned in a gentle smile that melted away the fatigue weighing on your shoulders. 

As you caught his gaze, a wave of warmth washed over you, chasing away the lingering remnants of exhaustion. It was moments like these that made all the hard work and effort worth it, knowing that you had someone like Yuuji by your side to share in both the triumphs and the challenges of your journey.

Despite the aches and pains that throbbed through your body, the promise of spending time with him filled you with renewed energy and anticipation. You couldn't help but return his smile, your heart skipping a beat at the thought of the memories you would create together.

In that fleeting moment, as you locked eyes with Yuuji, everything else faded away—the worries, the doubts, the uncertainties—all replaced by a sense of warmth and belonging. It was a reminder that no matter what trials lay ahead, as long as you had each other, it was going to be alright.

“Hey, pretty!” He walks up to you, smiling brightly like the sun. “You’re done practicing for the day?”

“Yeah.” You whisper, trying to calm down. He was so cute, you might lose it. “But I’m just going to clean up.”

“Oh? Let me help you!”

“Ah, Yuu, it’s fine—”

“Eh? But how could I let my pretty love just clean up by themselves like this?” He grins at you as he starts picking up the weapons you just trained with. “Let me help you, hm?”

As he busied himself with the task, you couldn't help but feel a swell of affection for him. It was the little things he did that made you fall for him more and more each day. The way he always looked out for you, ensuring you were okay after missions, the way he made you laugh with his silly jokes, and the way he was always there, offering support and comfort without expecting anything in return.

Yuuji looked up and caught you staring, his grin widening. "What are you thinking about?" he asked, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.

You shook your head, a smile playing on your lips. "Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you," you admitted, feeling a warmth spread through your chest.

He laughed, a joyful sound that made your heart flutter. "I'm the lucky one," he said, walking over to you and gently taking your hand. "You've made everything so much better."

His words were simple, but they held a depth of emotion that touched you deeply. You squeezed his hand, feeling a surge of gratitude and love for the boy who had become your everything.

In the quiet moments like these, you often find yourself reflecting on how much Yuuji meant to you. He was the one who made you feel seen and cherished, the one who made even the hardest days bearable. His love was a constant, unwavering force that filled your life with joy and hope.

"Thank you, Yuu." you said softly, turning scarlet red."For everything."

He smiled, his eyes full of warmth and affection. "Always." he replied, pulling you into a gentle hug. "I'll always be here for you."

You’re still not used to calling Yuuji by your new nickname but your relationship leveled up to the comfort of him calling you with adorable nicknames. You think that his name was already beautiful as it was, but you found him pouting about it and you felt your heart break — you realized it was that important to him. You could only sigh as you remembered the day

After the exhausting days of missions and the comforting time spent together, you and Yuuji decided to hang out in his room, away from the stresses of the outside world. Yuuji had suggested playing video games, a perfect way to unwind and just enjoy each other's company.

His room was cozy, filled with the typical teenage clutter of books, clothes, and gaming gear. You both settled on the floor in front of his TV, controllers in hand, ready to dive into the latest game he had been raving about.

As the game loaded, Yuuji looked over at you with an eager grin. "Ready to get your butt kicked?" he teased, his eyes sparkling with playful competitiveness.

You rolled your eyes, laughing. "We'll see about that, Yuu."

The moment the nickname slipped out, you saw a change in his expression. His eyes widened slightly, and then his entire face lit up with the most genuine smile you'd ever seen. He looked at you with a mixture of surprise and happiness, almost like a golden retriever who had just been given a treat.

"Yuu?" he repeated, his voice filled with delight. "Did you just call me Yuu?"

You nodded, feeling a bit shy under his intense gaze. "Yeah, I did. It suits you, don't you think? Plus, it sounds like I'm saying you belong to me."

His cheeks flushed a light pink, and he looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. "I like it," he said softly. "No one's ever given me a nickname before. And if it means I belong to you, then I like it even more."

You felt your own cheeks heat up at his words, but there was a warmth spreading through your chest that made you smile. "Good. Because you do belong to me, Yuu."

He looked back up at you, his eyes filled with a tender emotion that made your heart skip a beat. "And you belong to me," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "We're in this together, right?"

You nodded, feeling a deep sense of connection and belonging with him. "Together," you agreed.

With that, the moment passed, and you both turned your attention back to the game. The playful banter resumed, with Yuuji occasionally glancing at you with that same joyful expression every time you called him by his new nickname. It was a small thing, but it meant the world to him.

As the game progressed, you found yourselves laughing, teasing, and enjoying each other's company in a way that felt so natural and right. The world outside might be full of dangers and challenges, but here, in this small room, with Yuuji by your side, everything felt perfect.

At one point, during a particularly intense part of the game, Yuuji turned to you with a playful smirk. "Come on, Yuu," you said, trying to keep up with him. "Stop hogging all the power-ups!"

He laughed, the sound warm and infectious. "Only if you can catch me, Yuu!" he challenged, making you laugh even harder.

Time seemed to fly by as you played, and before you knew it, hours had passed. When you finally put the controllers down, exhausted but happy, you leaned back against the bed, Yuuji flopping down beside you.

"That was fun," he said, his voice filled with contentment. "Thanks for spending time with me."

You turned to him, your heart swelling with affection. "Anytime, Yuu. Anytime."

He looked at you, his eyes shining with gratitude and something deeper. "You're the best," he said softly, reaching out to take your hand in his. "I'm so glad you're here with me."

You squeezed his hand, feeling the same way. "Me too, Yuu. Me too."

Once he carries your used weapons, he hums a light tune, moving with an ease that belied the intensity of your earlier training session. His cheerfulness was like a soothing balm, easing the weariness from your bones. You followed behind him, your heart swelling with affection and a touch of awe. How could he always be so full of life, so effortlessly kind and giving?

You could only sigh, a small smile tugging at your lips. You were too far gone when it came to Yuuji. His presence had become a constant source of joy and comfort in your life, and you found yourself longing for these moments more and more.

As you trailed behind him, your thoughts wandered. You thought about how Yuuji had always been there for you, how he had a way of making even the darkest days seem brighter. He had a unique ability to lift your spirits with just a smile or a kind word. His love and care were unwavering, and you often found yourself marveling at how deeply you had come to rely on him.

Reaching the storage area, Yuuji carefully placed the weapons in their designated spots. He turned to you, still humming, his eyes alight with that familiar spark of happiness. "There we go, all set!" he said, dusting off his hands. "Now, what do you want to do next?"

Before you could answer, he added with a grin, "Actually, I was thinking... Megumi, Nobara, and I were planning to watch a movie later. Want to join us? It'll be fun!"

His invitation caught you off guard, but the excitement in his eyes was contagious. "A movie?" you echoed, your curiosity piqued.

"Yeah!" Yuuji nodded enthusiastically. "We were thinking of watching something light and funny. It's been a while since we've all just hung out together and relaxed, you know? And honestly, it wouldn't be the same without you."

As Yuuji's words washed over you, a rush of excitement surged through your veins, making your heart skip a beat. His bright eyes sparkled with anticipation, and you couldn't help but feel a flutter of nerves as you met his gaze. He looked so cute, so effortlessly charming, and you couldn't help but be drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

"Movie night in your dorm room sounds perfect, Yuu!" you replied, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you tried to contain the joy bubbling within you. "I'd love to join! It sounds like a lot of fun."

As you spoke, you couldn't help but notice the way Yuuji's smile seemed to grow even brighter, as if your enthusiasm was contagious. It was moments like these that made you realize just how much you enjoyed his company, how much you looked forward to every opportunity to be near him.

Yuuji's face lit up with a wide smile, his eyes shining with delight. "Awesome! It'll be great to have you with us, pretty!”

"Do I need to bring anything tonight?" you asked, trying to hide the nervous flutter in your stomach behind a casual tone. “Food, drinks, DVDs? Anything?”

Yuuji shook his head, his smile never faltering. "No, just bring yourself!" he replied, his voice warm and inviting. It was a simple gesture, but it filled you with a sense of comfort and reassurance, as if he were silently assuring you that everything would be okay as long as you were together. “You’re more than enough! ‘on’t worry about it, pretty!”

You felt scarlet heat all across your cheeks. With a shy nod, you couldn't help but feel a surge of warmth at Yuuji's words. As you watched him, a wave of affection washed over you, filling your chest with a sense of contentment. Despite the uncertainty that lingered in the back of your mind, there was a part of you that felt at peace whenever you were with him.

As the evening approached and the sun dipped below the horizon, you found yourself eagerly anticipating the movie night ahead. With a quick goodbye to Kugisaki and Fushiguro, you made your way to Yuuji's dorm room, your heart racing with excitement.

You think you can’t really help it.

Yuuji just has a way with you, you know?

He’s too good for the world, too good for you.

How were you this lucky with him, to be with him?

As you stepped into Yuuji's dorm room, the warm glow of the evening light bathed the space in a soft, inviting ambiance. Yuuji stood by the entrance, a smile playing at the corners of his lips as his eyes met yours.

"Pretty, you made it!" he greeted, his voice filled with genuine excitement.  

"Hey, Yuu!" you replied, feeling your ears turn red as you returned his smile. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

His smile widened at your words, a warm glow spreading across his features. "Glad to hear it," he said, stepping aside to let you in.

The sight of him filled you with a sense of warmth and comfort, and you couldn't help but feel a rush of affection for him. It was moments like these, simple yet significant, that made you grateful for his presence in your life. As you settled into the room, you greeted Kugisaki and Fushiguro, who were already there, with warm smiles and friendly gestures.

"Hey, guys!" you exclaimed, waving at them.

“Glad you can make it!”  Kugisaki waved back with a tender smile, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she welcomed you. She patted the seat next to her. “Come here!”

"Hey," Fushiguro greeted in his usual calm tone, nodding in acknowledgment.

Despite the differences in their reactions, you felt a sense of belonging among the three of them. It was moments like these, surrounded by friends who cared for you, that made you feel grateful for the bonds you had formed at Jujutsu High.

Later, as Yuuji made popcorn, Kugisaki approached you with a curious expression. "So, what's going on between you and Yuuji?" she asked bluntly, her tone betraying a hint of mischief.

“W-what do you mean?”

“Like, you know? You guys are dating!”

“Yeah, we are…”

“But what is it like? Are you labeling it soon?”

Your heart skipped a beat, caught off guard by her directness. You glanced nervously at Fushiguro, hoping he would intervene, but he remained silent, watching the exchange with a guarded expression. He was always hard to read, but you knew he seemed interested too.

"I-I don't know," you stammered, feeling a surge of panic rising within you. "We're just... friends, I guess."

Kugisaki raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced by your response. "Hmm, really?" she teased, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Because it seems like there's something more going on between you two."

You felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment, struggling to find the right words to explain the complexity of your relationship with Yuuji. Before you could respond, Fushiguro stepped in, his voice firm and authoritative.

"Kugisaki, that's enough," Fushiguro said sternly, his tone brooking no argument. "It's not your place to pry into other people's personal lives. Let them deal with that and tell us.”

"Sorry, sorry," Kugisaki muttered, holding her hands up in surrender. She looks at you apologetically, seeing how uncomfortable you are. "I’m sorry. I was just curious, you know? But I'll drop it."

“It’s okay.” You say, a small smile echoing at your lips as you three went back to watch. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay, I’m back!” Yuuji says, grinning as he holds the bowl of popcorn in one hand. “Butter flavor!”

“You’re so loud!” Kugisaki retorts back as she points to the television. “I’m trying to watch the movie!”

“But aren’t you the one screaming at me?” Yuuji furrows his brows back at her.

Fushiguro frowns slightly. “Can the two of you just shut up?”

As the movie resumed and the room filled with the sound of the film playing, you couldn't shake the lingering question in your mind. What were you and Yuuji together? Were you just friends, or was there something more between you? The uncertainty gnawed at you, leaving you restless despite the comforting familiarity of Yuuji's presence beside you.

Glancing sideways at him, you noticed the way the soft glow of the screen illuminated his features, casting shadows and highlights across his face. He seemed completely engrossed in the movie, his eyes focused on the screen, but you couldn't shake the feeling that he was aware of your internal turmoil.

Lost in your thoughts, you absently reached for a handful of popcorn, but your mind was elsewhere. The warmth of Yuuji's hand brushing against yours sent a jolt of electricity through you, pulling you back to the present moment. Turning to him, you caught his eye, and for a brief moment, you saw a flicker of understanding in his gaze.

It was as if he could sense the unspoken question hanging between you, the silent tension that lingered beneath the surface. And yet, neither of you dared to voice it aloud, afraid of what the answer might be. But as the movie played on and the night wore on, you couldn't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, it was time to have that conversation.

The movie eventually ended, leaving the room bathed in the soft glow of the screen's credits. The lingering silence between you and Yuuji felt heavy, pregnant with unspoken words and unexplored emotions. You stole a glance at him, noticing the way his features softened in the dim light, his eyes reflecting a mixture of exhaustion and contentment.

Taking a deep breath, you summoned the courage to break the silence. "Yuu," you began, your voice barely above a whisper. "Can we talk for a moment?"

Yuuji turned to you, his expression curious but open. "Yeah, of course," he replied, his voice gentle and reassuring. "Got s’mthing on your mind?”

You hesitated for a moment, unsure of where to start. The words felt heavy on your tongue, each syllable weighted with the uncertainty of the unknown. But you knew that you couldn't continue to avoid the conversation any longer.

"I've been thinking..." you trailed off, searching for the right words. "About us. I mean, what are we, Yuu?"

Yuuji's brow furrowed slightly, his gaze thoughtful as he considered your question. "I've been wondering the same thing," he admitted, his voice tinged with vulnerability. "I mean, we spend so much time together, and we’re dating….. I care about you a lot."

A rush of relief washed over you at his words, knowing that you weren't alone in your confusion. "I care about you too, Yuu." you confessed, your heart swelling with emotion. "More than I can put into words."

Yuuji reached out, his hand finding yours in the darkness. "Then maybe we don't need to put a label on it," he suggested, his touch warm and reassuring. "Maybe we can just... see where things go, together. Enjoy each other, y’know? We’re still young and we are happy, so….”

With a soft smile, you nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I’d like that." you said, feeling a sense of warmth spread through you. “Very much, Yuu.”

As the tension lifted, the atmosphere in the room became lighter, filled with a sense of newfound understanding and acceptance. You shifted closer to Yuuji, relishing the comforting warmth of his presence as you leaned against him.

"Hey, do you remember that time we first met?" Yuuji asked suddenly, breaking the silence with a playful glint in his eye.

A fond smile tugged at your lips as you recalled the memory. "How could I forget?" you replied, laughter bubbling up inside you. "You were so full of energy, I thought you were going to burst!"

Yuuji chuckled, his laughter mingling with yours in the quiet of the room. "Yeah, I guess I was pretty excited to become a jujutsu sorcerer. It gave me some purpose, y’know?" he admitted, his expression softening with nostalgia. "But meeting you was definitely the best part of that day. You were smiling at me and I just think it made me happy!”

Your heart fluttered at his words, a rush of affection washing over you. "I feel the same way, Yuu." you confessed, reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair from his face. "You've brought so much joy and excitement into my life, Yuu."

His gaze softened, his eyes reflecting the depth of his emotions. "And you've brought so much warmth and kindness into mine, pretty." he replied, his voice filled with sincerity. “I’d love more and more.”

In that moment, as you sat together in the quiet intimacy of the room, you knew that no matter where life took you, you would always have each other. And as you leaned into Yuuji's embrace, you felt a sense of peace settle over you, knowing that together, you could face whatever challenges lay ahead, hand in hand.

And suddenly, you think,  in a blink of a crinkling eye.

You were just both sinking, with your fingers entwined.

Your cheeks were just lovingly pink in the twinkling lights.

All night, he tells you about the first time he saw you again.

Happily, not bitterly this time, suddenly, sweet sixteen.

Everything, from then and now, truly feels so high school.

[babydollmarauders]

AUGUST — QUINN HUGHES

quinn hughes x fem!reader

PART TWO CAN BE FOUND HERE.

summary: in which y/n has been in love with quinn for years and now they engage in a summer situationship.

specific lyrics: “i can see us lost in the memory, august slipped away into a moment in time. 'cause it was never mine. and I can see us twisted in bedsheets, august sipped away like a bottle of wine. 'cause you were never mine.” and “your back beneath the sun, wishin' i could write my name on it. will you call when you're back at school? i remember thinkin' i had you.” and “wanting was enough. for me, it was enough. to live for the hope of it all, cancel plans just in case you'd call.”

warnings: innuendos, talk of sexual happenings but no actual NSFW content.

notes: this takes place when Quinn was attending UMich. inspired by August by Taylor Swift! reader is 18.

**JULY 30TH, 2018**

my cheek pressed against the cool glass, i sit in the bay window of my bedroom at my families lake house, watching for the neighbors to arrive. we’ve been coming here every summer since i was fourteen, and for just as long, i’ve had a crush on the eldest son of the family next door.

the Hughes family was comprised of three boys and their parents, Jim and Ellen.

there was the youngest, Luke. fourteen years old and the sweetest kid you could ever meet. generally the victim of teasing from his older brothers, but he doesn’t let it get to him.

then there’s Jack, the middle child. seventeen years old and my best friend. surprisingly smart, kind, and always there for me when needed, metaphorically of course since we don’t actually live near each other.

and lastly, Quinn, the oldest. nineteen, more on the introverted side, attractive, and my summer crush for the last four years.

Jack and i keep in touch over the school year, telling each other any and everything that happens in our lives, and he informed me that they would be arriving today, but he didn’t say what time. so, here i sit, looking out my window, sight locked on the driveway of the house next door.

“y/n! lunch!” my mother’s voice drifts up to my room from the bottom of the stairs. ignoring her yell, i stay planted in my seat. “y/n, c’mon! i know you’re watching for Jack but you can still eat!”

i heave out a sigh, standing to my feet and rushing down the stairs. i grip my lunch plate in my hands and start back towards the stairs.

“you can’t even stay down and eat with us?” my mom questions. i look over to her, standing with her hands on her hips and her brows raised.

“i don’t wanna miss their arrival, mama.” i whine and she rolls her eyes and shoos me off. i dart up the stairs, shouting out, over my shoulder- “love you, mama!”

i take my seat back at my bay window and look back to the driveway again, keeping myself busy by eating bites of my sandwich as i watch. no more than 5 minutes after i finish my sandwich and chips, i see a car pulling into the neighboring driveway. opening my window, i watch as my best friend steps out of the vehicle, followed by his younger brother. my heart deflates slightly when i notice the absence of the oldest Hughes, but i cover up my disappointment quickly when Jack looks over at me leaning out my window.

“hey hockey-head!” i yell.

“my personal cheerleader!” he calls back. “you gonna come give me my hug? or do i have to come up there and get it myself?”

with that, i pull back into my room and spin around, running down the stairs.

“they here?” my father correctly assumes as i zoom past him in the living room.

“yep!” i scream, opening the front door. i stumble down the front porch steps, catching myself on the last step, and making eye contact with Jack. he holds his arms open and i run across my yard, launching myself into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. one of his arms winds around my waist and his other hand splays under my backside, holding me up. the touch is innocent between two best friends, but i hear Luke fake a gag behind us.

“i missed you.” i mumble, my lips ghosting the shell of his ear.

“i missed you too. i’m sorry i couldn’t make it to your graduation.” he whispers back.

“it’s okay, i know you had a hockey game. just don’t forget me when you become a hotshot, first-overall nhl player.” i joke as he lowers me down to my feet.

“never. who else is gonna keep me humbled and remind me that i’m ‘an average white boy’?” he chuckles as he uses my own words from last week.

“that’s true. you’ll need me in order to keep your ego in check.” i shrug before twisting to face Luke. “hi, sweet baby.”

i reach up, holding his face in my hands. he rolls his eyes at my words but it just eggs me on more. i pull him down to my chest, cradling his head to my collarbone.

“my little baby.” i coo and pout. “you’ve grown so much since i last saw you.”

“y/n/n, i’m almost fifteen, not five.” his words are muffled in my chest. “can we have a regular hug now?”

i let out a long dramatic sigh and release him from my hold. he pulls back, giving me a shy smile before hugging me to his chest.

“good to see you, moosey.”

“good to see you too, y/n/n.” he lets me go and i look at Jack once we part.

“where’s Quinn?” i ask. Quinn and i aren’t nearly as close as i am with his brothers, him usually sticking with the friends he brings to the lake house, but it’s not unusual for me to wonder his whereabouts.

“he’s coming sometime in the next few days. he went to a friends house for a couple weeks.” Jack answers. he smirks and speaks again- “but that just means you get extra time with the cooler Hughes brothers.”

“you think you’re cool?” i tease. “yeah, this is why you need me. you’re already thinking delusionally!”

“what does it say about you that you hang out with people you don’t think are cool?” Jack argues, raising a brow.

“hold on, i never said Luke isn’t cool!” i joke, crossing my arms across my chest and shifting my weight to one leg. “i only implied you are uncool.”

“oh, you’re gonna get it!” it’s the only warning i get before he leaps, trying to get ahold of me. i sprint around the yard, circling the car before halting behind Ellen Hughes, who was on her way out to grab another suitcase to bring in the house.

“well, hello dear.” she laughs as i take hold of her shoulders, using her as a human shield against her middle son.

“hi El!” i chat. “save me!”

“Jack, you guys have been back together for 5 minutes and you’re already attacking the poor girl?” she chides. “leave her alone.”

“yeah, Rowdy, leave me alone!” i hit back. “you’re so mean to me.”

“you called me uncool!” he rebuts. Ellen sighs and shakes her head at our childishness.

“just call a truce and go down to the lake.” she tells us. Jack and i eye each other warily as i snake a hand around Ellen for a peace handshake. Jack shakes my hand, making me smile and step out from behind his mother.

“meet at the lake in twenty?” Jack asks. i nod and take off back to my house to get changed.

this is gonna be the best summer. i can feel it.

**AUGUST 2ND, 2018**

i wake to the sunshine streaming in through my bedroom windows and my blanket falling to the floor. my back cracks with the movement of me stretching my limbs across my bed and my mouth opens wide in a yawn. i swing my feet over the side of my bed and smile. it’s been three days since Jack and Luke arrived, and according to Jack, Quinn is arriving today. i’m assuming he’ll get here in the evening, so i choose to waste time by going for a morning swim.

i strip out of my pajamas, grabbing a simple navy blue bikini from my dresser and getting changed into it. i grab a towel out of the linen closet on my way downstairs and grab a granola bar from the kitchen.

“i’m going out for a swim.” i inform my parents, who sit at the dining table. they nod, assuring me that they heard me, and go back to their discussion. i leave out the back door, walking down to the lakeside, enjoying the hot summer sun. i spot someone laying out on the shore, and grin in assumption that it’s my best friend. but when i get closer, i spot the dark brown hair and slightly paler skin and freeze in my spot. i stand in place, admiring the boy laid out with his back facing the sun. Quinn.

i stand there for a few minutes, just watching how the sun makes him glow and thinking about how much i want to be his. to be able to lay next to him and trace my name on his back as he soaks up the sun, to lay kisses across it as he hides a smile. how badly i long to be his. he stirs and i avert my gaze, continuing my walk to the shoreline.

“well hey stranger.” i hear called towards me, i look back over to see Quinn sitting up now, smiling my way. “you just gonna walk right past without saying hello? haven’t seen you in a year!”

my face heats up and i desperately hope he thinks it’s just consequences of the summer sun.

“hey, Quinn.” i say back. “long time no see! how’s UMich treating you?”

“eh, it’s been good. i can’t complain. what about you? you just graduated, right? you know what school you’re going to yet?” he rests his arms on his knees as he speaks, and with this position, my eyes are able to trail his chest, leading down to his hard earned hockey abs and the happy trail that disappears underneath his swimming trunks. “y/n?”

oh my god he just caught me ogling him. shit, what did he ask again? school?

“uh, yeah. yeah, i’m taking a gap year and then heading up to The University of British Columbia.” i finally respond.

“oh. that sounds cool!” he nods. “i was kinda selfishly hoping you’d be coming to UMich with me.”

what the fuck does that mean? does he like me? am i reading too much into that? oh my god.

“i thought about it.” i let out a weak chuckle before i tease- “but i don’t know if you could handle so much of me.”

Quinn lowers his sunglasses, letting it be known that his eyes are scanning my figure, and it’s then i remember that i’m wearing a bikini. suddenly feeling self conscious, i fold my arms in front of my chest, my towel pressing against my body.

“i think i could handle a lot more of you than you think.” a lazy smirk rests on his lips and i’m starting to need this swim more than ever.

that was an innuendo, right? that was definitely an innuendo?

i let out an awkward laugh in response.

“well, i’ll let you get back to your swim. i’ll catch you later.” he says, rising to his feet. “don’t be a stranger, y/n/n.”

i watch him walk away, back towards his house, as i contemplate his words.

i’ll catch you later.

i shake my head clear of thoughts and drop my towel on the ground before running into the body of water in front of me. i let the water tickle my skin before completely diving under. staying down for a few seconds, i imagine the lake water washing away all my wandering thoughts.

i was just reading into things. it’s what i do best. wanting him is enough for me, i don’t need him.

**

my morning swim did nothing for me in the long run. his words still play on a repeat inside my head.

i could handle a lot more of you than you think.

i’ll catch you later.

it’s currently eight o’clock in the evening and i’m leaving for a bonfire at the Hughes house. i walk out the door and cross my backyard and into the Hughes’, making straight for the blazing fire with guys circled around it. as well as Quinn arriving today, Jack had some of his friends from the USNTDP get here too, which makes me doubly outnumbered and entirely out of my territory.

“there she is! our queen!” i recognize the voice as Trevor Zegras, ever the funny guy, he and i met last summer when he came with Jack. the rest of the boys look up and watch me approach as Trevor makes a show of kneeling on the ground and bowing to me.

“get up loser.” i laugh, rolling my eyes and scanning the group. my sight is drawn to where Quinn sits quietly in an adirondack chair.

“i thought you liked me on my knees.” Trevor smirks at his own dirty joke and i lightly kick his shoulder with my foot, making him fall backwards and land on the ground with a thud. the rest of the guys cackle in laughter from both his joke and him falling, but with my sights still set on Quinn, i watch curiously as his jaw clenches and his hands turn into fists for a split second before he relaxes again.

what’s that about?

“i like men on their knees. you’re a boy.” my response earns more hysterics from the group, the guys taking the chance to rag on Trevor for his failed flirtations.

“one more year baby. you can wait for me, can’t you?” Trevor wiggles his eyebrows suggestively as he sits back down into his chair, and i notice there aren’t any more chairs for me to sit in.

“sorry Z, i don’t do younger guys. or you. at any age.” he holds a hand to his heart, acting wounded by my words.

“my heart. it’s broken! how will i ever fill the empty space you’ve left?” he whines.

“i’m sure you’ll find some puck bunny to fill it. or more so, for you to fill.” he smirks at my response and shrugs his shoulders cockily.

“what can i say? ladies love me.” he replies before another guy pulls him into a conversation. with the attention off of me, i scan the chairs. i guess i could sit in Jack’s lap. it wouldn’t be the first time. i shrug and go to walk over to my best friend, but a hand on my wrist pulls me back. i look back to Quinn, his fingers spark on my skin.

“here, you can sit with me.” he pulls me towards him, patting his thighs with his free hand. i glance toward Jack but he’s not paying any attention, his focus lasered in on his friend Alex as he speaks wildly, his hands flying around in excitement. i look back over at Quinn, who waits patiently for me to sit.

when will i ever get this chance again?

i gingerly sit down on his lap, and my face heats up, turning scarlet as he releases my wrist in favor of winding his arm around my waist, his hand laying atop my thigh.

“so, you and Trevor, huh?” he questions lowly, his voice quiet enough that only i can hear. i let out a chuckle.

“definitely not. he’s just messing around.” my hand comes up to play with the silver necklace draped on my collar bone.

“good.” he replies. his cryptic response makes my brows furrow.

good? GOOD?! what does that even mean?!

“why? you jealous?” i tease. harmless banter such as this has always been innocent with me and the two older Hughes boys.

“and what if i was?” his words make my hand freeze in place. oh my god is he actually flirting with me or am i imagining it? “what would you do to reassure me that i don’t need to worry about him?”

his tone is low, voice laced with fascination. and in an effort to not ruin the moment, i blurt out the first thing that pops in my head.

“i think the real question is what would you do to me?” i can hear the seduction in my voice, the innuendo that just slipped past my lips, and regret is my immediate reaction. his eyes flicker between my own and my lips, but before i can apologize, he leans over, his lips ghosting the shell of my ear, and speaks once more.

“be careful of what you’re saying. i have a wild imagination and a pretty girl sitting on my dick, you might end up with a situation you might not be willing to take care of.” his breath fans across my neck, sending a shiver down my spine.

“who says i wouldn’t be willing?” my words are barely audible past the rushing in my ears, but i know he heard them when he leans back with a smirk on his face and lust in his eyes.

**AUGUST 23RD, 2018**

it’s that night that we started whatever we’re doing now. that night that i spent twisted in his bedsheets, drunk on him. that night that he whispered dirty talk in my ear as he brought me over the edge of pleasure multiple times. that he spent an hour with his head delved between my thighs, and then another hour with our bodies flush against each other as he brought us both to release.

since then, we’ve repeated that night seven times. i guess i could describe our relationship as a ‘situationship’. we hide behind closed doors, never talking about our feelings, never letting others see the ways we touch. i never even know when that night will repeat. my only indication being when he calls to ask me to sneak in. we only have a week left before we part for another year, and logically i know i should bring up how i feel before this ends, but i can’t help but fear that they may be one sided. that this situation is just a convenience thing for him. so i keep my feelings buried in a lockbox, not to be let out any time soon.

my phone buzzes in my lap as i sit in my bay window, and i turn it over to check the text i received. my heart deflates a little when i see it isn’t Quinn, but instead his brother.

—

From: Rowdy 💙

you still coming to the movies with me and the guys tonight? mom said Luke’s gotta come with us but don’t worry, he won’t ruin the night for us.

—

To: Rowdy 💙

i’m sorry, i’m not feeling great. rain check?

also, be nice to Moosey! he just wants to spend time with his big brother!

—

From: Rowdy 💙

okay, hope you feel better! let me know if you need anything, i can make a stop at the store on my way back.

—

Jack's response makes guilt settle in my stomach. how messed up is it of me to cancel plans with my best friend, in hopes that his older brother will call me for a hook up?

i'm horrible.

-

[snowbellewells]

Self Promo Sunday: @cssns19 MC "Face to Face in the Broad Daylight"

(This week in reruns celebrating previous @cssns works, we have a sequel to my werewolf, alternate season two and beyond fic from 2018’s @cssns offering. This one partially exists just because I wanted to revisit these couples and enjoy a bit more of their fluffy happily ever afters. However, they also get into some new surprises and challenges, and: is Rumplestiltskin still under control, or is he back to his usual scheming and plotting? If you weren't around back then, I hope you will give this a try and enjoy.  If you read it back then and choose to revisit it, I hope you'll enjoy the walk down memory lane!! Either way, I'd love to hear what you think!

Complete in 9 Parts

(Thanks once again to @branlovestowrite for the stunningly lovely cover art she did for this story as well. I still absolutely love it!!)

Also available on AO3 if that's your preference...

Summary: After finding one another and triumphing against the machinations of the Evil Queen and the Queen of Hearts, Killian and Emma, and their friends and family are ready to enjoy the happiness they've earned. However, a new threat is about to rise that may put those happy beginnings in grave jeopardy.

by: @snowbellewells

~~ prologue: altogether in one place

As a cooling breeze blew in off the water of the harbor to combat the bright heat of an early May afternoon, Killian Jones smiled easily, enjoying the trace of air over his neck and ruffling his dark hair as he headed back up the street from the docks toward the center of town. It was a perfect day for the celebration he was on his way to attend, planning to meet Emma and Henry at the pretty little two bedroom cottage not far from the harbor that they moved into some weeks past, before the three of them walked the rest of the way to Granny’s together. The rest of their family and several friends were doubtless already gathering at the diner’s outdoor tables for the planned picnic. It was Mother’s Day, and the first which Emma would be able to spend with her mother, and with her boy as well. Killian smiled fondly at the tentative joy mixed with nervous anticipation on his love’s face as they’d spoken of it laying side-by-side that very morning. His heart had warmed right along with dawn’s first rays peeking through the curtains, glad that Emma could have her loved ones surrounding her, as she always should have. Though his own mother had been gone so long that he only retained the barest memories of a gentle voice singing to him and the twinkle in kind, loving eyes, he still felt not a fiber of his being to be jealous or begrudging of the wealth of love and belonging his lady had found. Emma deserved it all, and more besides.

It helped, he admitted to himself as he neared the front walk, their yard surrounded by white picket fence that he could now see Emma leaning on casually with Henry at her side, that he too had been welcomed into the fold gladly. With the wolf born inside him, his horribly checkered and painful history, and how long he had wandered alone in the world, Killian could never have imagined being accepted as a part of something so good, nor feeling that he mattered to others again. Despite his stunned disbelief, however, he could only continue to be grateful.

As he drew nearer, Henry caught sight of him and waved enthusiastically, a wide grin stretching across his face. “Hey, Killian!” the youth called out. “Are you ready for this?”

“Aye, lad, of course,” he answered with a chuckle, smiling to Emma as well, his heart swelling still further at the blush which rose on her cheeks as he waggled his eyebrows playfully. He turned his attention back to Henry quickly, not wanting the young man to feel dismissed, but instead leaning forward to whisper secretively to Henry, “We wouldn’t want to miss your grandma’s famed cherry chess pie, now would we?”

Henry agreed emphatically with Killian’s winking query, then scampered on ahead of them as Killian pulled Emma into a quick embrace while she stretched up to press a chaste kiss to his lips before they joined hands and followed her son the rest of the way to Granny’s before they were late.

Not many minutes later they were turning into the front seating area of the diner, entering under the arch and being greeted from all sides by family and friends. Ruby bounded over to gleefully wrap Emma in an exuberant hug, whispering in his love’s ear that she wanted to hear what they’d been up to at the new house in a blatant enough way to have the blond blushing once again. Killian followed Henry’s urging over to his grandparents’ table, shaking David’s hand and easing into conversation with Emma’s father thankfully.

He liked the people gathered around him very much, but so often in the past he had kept to the shadows, on the outskirts of society, either due to prejudice and ostracism or his own attempts to insure others’ safety from the beast within him. Having at last found his home in Storybrooke, and also a peace within himself that he had rarely known, Killian felt as stable as he had ever been in both parts of himself. His wolf had room and freedom to run, even a pack of sorts with Ruby and Graham nearby, and he rarely feared the howling need to break free he had sought to hide or contain in his youth and throughout his years of bitter, aimless wandering.  All that being true, he still sometimes preferred to ease into larger groups one person at a time. Once Emma’s slightly overprotective and traditional father had gotten to know him, Killian found the man quite easy to talk to and good company, so he naturally went to speak with him first.

Their friendship hadn’t taken long to develop once things had settled down around the holidays, some six months ago, after Regina, Cora, and Rumplestiltskin’s defeat. Both David and Killian served as reinforcements to the sheriff’s department when needed (though in sleepy, calm Storybrooke they rarely were) and so had spent many long afternoons when there were no calls sharing long chats, wadded up paper ball free throw contests in the desk trash cans, endless one-upping games of darts, and - if they grew truly desperate - filing of the somehow never ending stacks of paperwork. Their little town had been free of most trouble beyond cats in trees and neighboring fairy tale characters’ squabbles since Thanksgiving. None of them had forgotten that Gold was still simmering impotently in his shop (surely wanting revenge, but hands tied by the fact that his dagger forbade it, thanks to Emma’s brilliance).  In fact, the citizens were enjoying an everyday normality most of them had never been able to experience before - in either this realm or the Enchanted Forest.

So, though there was often hardly enough work to keep one person busy, Graham had remained Sheriff, and kept Emma on as his deputy. Killian’s eyes found his sandy-haired fellow wolf amidst the happy crowd of partygoers, attentively leaning to whisper something in Belle’s ear where she sat talking to Granny Lucas herself, along with Nova, Leroy, Bashful, and Doc. The Sheriff was clearly happy to watch over his girlfriend, glad just to see her in high spirits, having brought her a drink and standing behind her chair to listen and look on. Graham had always been a good and competent lawman, but now that he was completely free to act of his own will and as he saw fit, it became even more clear just how kind, compassionate, and worthy a man he was. He no longer had to glance over his shoulder at each turn, fearing retribution for his choices. The townspeople liked and trusted him even more than they had before, seeing how dedicated he was to their causes and thorough in handling problems immediately and lawfully for the good of all to the best of his ability.

Watching just a moment longer, Killian saw Belle pause in her conversation, looking up over her shoulder at Graham with an adoring expression in her eyes, resting her hand over his where he had placed it on her shoulder. Something passed between them wordlessly, so slight that it went unnoticed by most around them, but to Kilian’s honed and heightened senses, it sent almost a frisson of intense feeling all the way across the space to where he stood. He didn’t know what it meant, but he found himself more than a little curious, and happy for his friends whatever the cause of their joy.

His attention was drawn back to his own immediate circle when David threw his head back in a booming burst of laughter as Henry finished relating how Killian had recently taken he, his mom, and his friends Grace, Nicholas and Ava out fishing and swimming on the Jolly. It wasn’t the first time Killian had dropped anchor in the harbor where the preteens could dive off the bow and bob in the waves to cool off while he and Emma sat in the sun watching over them and talking, but what had gotten such a reaction from his grandpa was the mental image of Ava’s disastrous practice at casting and somehow catching her hook in Grace’s hair. The ensuing noisy melee had caused quite a commotion until they’d gotten Grace free from the painful tangle, reassured Ava that they all knew it was an accident and gotten back to catching fish rather than each other.

As the afternoon wore on, Killian relaxed into the atmosphere of easy camaraderie around him, graciously complimenting his hostess on the lightness of her dinner rolls and the fine quality of her rum - to which he earned a sniff of begrudging thanks but also a sidelong smile. He exchanged a few words with Belle on the last book she had recommended to him and what he thought of it so far, and though she carried an obvious glow of satisfaction and practically radiated good humor, he was no closer to the reason that it seemed so especially prominent today, even after conversing with her. He exchanged pleasantries with Graham, and let Henry drag him into a ridiculous game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey that Snow had organized to hilarious results with the assorted dwarves’ poor aim and inebriated states by that hour of the waning day.

Despite what else he was doing however, his eyes were continually drawn back to Emma wherever she was. There was the simple fact that he couldn’t help but marvel at her beauty, for one thing. Her golden hair stood out like a beacon in any gathering, this one no exception, and the very sight of those flowing waves cascading down her back against the red leather of her favorite jacket made his hand itch to brush through its silky softness.  Her long, lean form, her throaty chuckle, and the sparkle in her jade green eyes all made hunger rise in him that had him aching to pull her out of the party and into the first empty room he could find. A long life of practice made him able to rein in his desires, but it certainly didn’t slake them in the least.

He remembered too that it was nearing the full moon, which made all his more canine traits closer to the surface. As intensely protective as he would have been anyway, because he loved her, the animal instinct within demanded he be aware of his mate and her safety at all times. Especially when they were out in the open and not alone, whether or not those with them were friends and the gathering innocent. There was possessiveness as well that he could contain, but not vanquish completely. Between those two impulses warring inside his average human faćade, Killian was rather proud of himself for managing to eventually retreat to a corner table with his drink, lean back in a chair and observe the goings on around him with at least the air of calm.

Still, needless to say, he was relieved when the festivities did begin to break up an hour or so later. Many called out a friendly goodbye to him, and he waved back jovially to them.  Some, like David, came over to say ‘good night’ and make plans for when they’d get together next. When Emma finally came up to him with an easy smile and an outstretched hand, asking him if he was ready to head home for the night with a teasing tilt of her head and playful “Captain?” he was on his feet in a moment. With Henry in tow, they headed back toward their house on the shore as the stars came out above.

A deep sense of satisfaction warmed Killian once again at the very idea that this could be his life, while Emma leaned into his side as they walked and Henry pointed out the various constellations that he had learned to recognize through Killian’s tutelage. It was more happiness than he once could have imagined having in his life on a regular basis. In a few days he would need to prepare for shifting about three nights in a row, as was his monthly due, but for tonight, he could sense it was still safely far enough off to take his time seeing the two most important people in his life home safely and enjoy that they saw him as one of their own.

Once they reached the front gate, Henry hurried on up the walk and into the house with a “See you tomorrow!” for his mom’s boyfriend. Alone at long last, Emma turned to him, her face tilted up to his with a devious glimmer in her expression. Only moments ago, he wouldn’t have imagined things could get much better, but when she ran her hands up his torso to rest on his chest and whispered invitingly, “Wanna come in for a nightcap, Sailor?” she blew his mind all over again. 

A couple of drinks, an entire bowl of popcorn and a movie later, they were cuddled together on the couch in Emma’s living room, making out like two teenagers.  Killian didn’t leave his love’s arms again until the next day dawned. Slipping out to his boat before Henry could walk up and begin scavenging through the cupboards for his breakfast cereal, Killian stooped to place a kiss on Emma’s groggy forehead as she mumbled a sleepy farewell. No one else in the house was stirring as the former pirate headed away down the walk, and he was too cheerful and relaxed to be on his guard, so the eyes watching his every move from the shadows as he moved toward the docks, went unnoticed…

~~***~~***~~

Far removed from the cheerfulness and revelry of the rest of the town and their holiday celebrations, Mr. Gold was holed up in the dim, shrouded back room of his shop, scowling silently at a clouded orb with its contents swirling inside. He hadn’t bothered to unlock or open his shop doors today, not wanting to see the idiotic smiles of the townsfolk, nor to waste effort pasting on a smile and haggling to make sales that mattered little to him, all things considered. No, all that mattered now was possessing the one item which could free him of the Savior’s binding order stoppering his Dark One powers to set things right. He would be loosed of her interfering magical hold; it was merely a matter of tracing the artifact to its hiding place and summoning an accomplice he knew was powerful enough to aid him in the ritual needed to slip the noose of his Dagger’s control, and therefore Miss Swan’s meddling command.

All the pieces were in place; once the crystal showed him where his former compatriot could be found, he would set the ball rolling.  He would make Belle see sense, return her to her place by his side, where she clearly belonged. That Sheriff who had dared to try taking his place in Belle’s affections would rue ever having his heart put back in his chest. And that wretched cur ...that wolf he had nearly finished off before - and the woman who had prevented it, who had the audacity to tangle with him and think she could defeat the Dark One - both of them would pay, once and for all.

Tagging a few who might enjoy: @kmomof4 @searchingwardrobes @jennjenn615 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @laschatzi

@jrob64 @apiratewhopines @spartanguard @therooksshiningknight @xarandomdreamx

@motherkatereloyshipper @booksteaandtoomuchtv @anmylica @stahlop @myfearless-love

@teamhook @revanmeetra87 @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @darkcolinodonorgasm

@elizabeethan @donteattheappleshook @the-darkdragonfly @bluewildcatfanatic @xsajx

@undercaffinatednightmare @caught-in-the-filter @drowned-dreamer @jonesfandomfanatic @kday426

@lfh1226-linda @linda8084 @resident-of-storybrooke @optomisticgirl @tiganasummertree

@belovedcreation @eddisfargo @zaharadessert @laianely @goforlaunchcee

[devin27]

10/03/24

Crash

Since yesterday’s entry was so long, I’ll keep this one brief. I’m currently riding the train, headed home from work. A few days ago I got hit on the highway & it damaged something in the front end of my car. My dad got his mechanic to come to the house & start the repairs today, after a few days of waiting for some parts to arrive. Control arms, struts, & a new tie rod plus labor is definitely a bit of a financial pickle, but nothing I haven’t had to dish out before. Sometimes I miss those few years of adulthood when I didn’t have a car, between 2018 & 2022. It was nice not having a car note, insurance, gas, or maintenance draining your wallet monthly. But alas, I live in the United States, & public transit just doesn’t suffice in the long term.

The mechanic should be back tomorrow morning to finish things up & send me on my way, so I’ve got nothing to stress about. I’m grateful I didn’t have to be without a car longer than a couple of days. The bend of the tie rod after the wreck misaligned my axle & wore out my tires unevenly, though. When I walked out to my car yesterday evening, I was met with a completely flattened tire. (See the first attached photo). I’m used to it at this point, though. Tires have always been my Achilles heel when it comes to my car. It’s some kind of universal joke, or maybe a hex placed on me. At this point I just laugh along & deal with it. Better a new tire every 3-4 months than a broken windshield or anything worse.

On the subject of cars, I feel like I’ve had so many. I’m 27 but I can distinctly remember everyone I’ve had: a 2008 Dodge Stratus, a 2012 Pontiac G6, a 2014 Dodge Charger, a 2013 Chevrolet Impala, & currently a 2016 Dodge Dart. The Dodge phenomenon isn’t on purpose, I swear they just have a way of falling into my lap. I haven’t had the privilege of owning anything particularly impressive, but I’m one of those people that’s satisfied if I can get from point A to point B without a hassle.

Truthfully, I never knew much about cars. It’s something you notice a lot of guys are into, like some sort of exclusive membership only club that I could never breach. You could ask me my dream car & you’d be lucky if I even decided on a make, let alone a model. Don’t even ask me about the mods or the variants of the model, or whatever you’d call them. It’s a lost cause for me.

For a brief stint, I had a part time job as a valet at some nice steakhouses around the downtown metroplex. Within those 6 months I was exposed to a lot of luxury vehicles I never thought I’d step foot in. Some Porsches, some Ferraris, some Lambos, lots of Beamers, Rovers, Benzes, the whole nine yards. I’ll drop a few photos down below. That was a fun arc primarily because it served as exposure therapy for brands & models someone of my status might have never gotten to experience.

If manifestation matters, I suppose I should set my intentions towards something for my future in terms of a vehicle. I used to think Lexus sedans were nice (big dreamer, I know right /s), but if I aim a little higher, I definitely felt most comfortable in any Mercedes-Benz I found myself in. A nice little C-Class would feel fulfilling. Corvettes are cool too, but I’m not sure if I’d want a coupe.

If we keep it a little more realistic, I’d settle for an Accord or a Camry. They’re both pretty reliable in the long term, plus their designs are sleek & stylish these days. Truth be told I’m not that materialistic; objects are so impermanent that it’s hard to truly desire anything that I’ve already deemed as fleeting. Not to sound pretentious or anything. If cars are your passion, that’s genuinely valid. They’re historically relevant mechanical marvels. I’m the one on the outside looking in.

Love, joy, peace, & prosperity to you & your loved ones — Devin27 💌

P.S. — On the train ride home, I was listening to “Love Angel Music Baby” from Gwen Stefani, & one song in particular stood out as a strong companion to today’s post. Enjoy “Crash.”

[saving-word-crawls]

Horror Word Crawl

By: RebekahW

I wrote this for Nano 2018 and am bringing it back. Have fun!

There were wolves under Stacy’s bed. They spoke to her in the night, whispering stories about their forest home, where the trees sparkled gold and the ground was made of silk. She listened with rapt attention, dreaming of the day when she could walk down the sunlit paths, to the worlds beyond, where castles grew from pods and fairies wove dresses out of spider silk. She only ever saw the wolves’ eyes, grape-sized balls of glowing gold that danced up and down when they laughed.

The wolves told her she was special and that no other person was graced with their presence. Stacy wasn’t sure if that was true. Her friends talked about creatures under their beds, though most of those were monsters and not friendly wolves. So, one day, she decided to ask her mother, since Mommies knew everything.

-Write for ten minutes while Stacy goes down to breakfast to speak to her mother-

“Mommy, do you have wolves under your bed?”

Stacy watched her mother put down her coffee cup and smile gently at her. “No honey,” she said. “But I had bears under my bed when I was your age.”

“Maybe your bears can play with my wolves!” Stacy reached over and grabbed her special bunny cup. Her mother just smiled and ruffled her hair.

The wolves didn’t like Stacy telling her mother about them.

We are for you only, they said, their eyes glowing brighter as the spoke. You must never speak of us to anyone. That will make you a bad girl and you don’t want to know what wolves do to bad little girls.

-Oops. Write a fifty headed hydra (500 words in five minutes) to make up for Stacy’s mistake. If you fail, write an extra 400 words to appease the wolves.-

She never spoke of them again, to anyone. They became her little secret, story tellers who filled her head with magical worlds that went beyond their forest. They told her of the land of shadow, where people only spoke in whispers and never went to bed, and the world under her feet, filled with hungry gnomes who ate any dreams that happened to trickle down the ears of sleeping children.

One day, her father brought in a tiny puppy that he had found in their front yard. Stacy was sure it was one of her wolves’ children, lost and unable to find its way back under the bed.

“Daddy,” she said, careful not to mention anything about her wolf friends. “Did you find the puppy near my window?”

“No sweetheart,” he said. “I found it near the gate.” He looked confused at her question and Stacy didn’t press further.

“It’s a pretty puppy,” she said. “I hope its Mommy and Daddy aren’t worried.”

“That’s why we’re going to find out who its Mommy and Daddy are,” her father said. “So he can go home.”

That night, Stacy snuck the puppy out of her parents’ room and brought it under her bed.

-Write 250 words in five minutes while Stacy sneaks the puppy out of her parents’ room. If you fail, write another 300 words to give her an extra boost of sneakiness.-

“My Daddy found a puppy,” she said. “Is it yours?”

A paw reached out and pulled the puppy towards the shadows, causing it to yelp. The yelping continued for a few more seconds and then stopped, leaving the room in silence.

Thank you, the wolves said. He wasn’t ours, but he will be much happier here than he was in your world.

“Why was he crying?” Stacy peered into the darkness, trying to catch a glimpse of the puppy.

He was afraid, the shadows replied. Most creatures fear the unknown. But he’s happy now. Can you hear him laughing?

She strained her ears and thought she could hear a tiny little laugh. She smiled and pushed her head further under the bed. “When can I go in your world?”

Soon, little one.

- Aren’t you happy for the puppy? Write 600 words and give a little chuckle, just like the puppy most surely did. -

“What is death?” she had asked the wolves one night, after they spoke of a young prince dying in one of their stories.

The wolves laughed and one of them stuck its head out of the darkness, showing itself to Stacy for the first time. It had long course fur that ran down its face and muzzle, but the golden eyes glowed in front, as if they were floating in front of the fur.

We will show you, it said.

The next night the stories changed.

-Write 800 words in ten minutes to honor the changing tone of the wolves’ stories. If you fail, write 300 more.-

Stacy didn’t like the wolves’ stories anymore. They never spoke of castles or gnomes any longer. They spoke of blood and twisted things that she didn’t understand, nor wanted to. Stacy learned of people who cut up the bodies of their neighbors and hid them in swamps, of little children who starved to death in basements and closets, and fields of bodies where whole families were left to rot. They told her how one day her mother and father would rot from the inside out and slowly start to fall apart, how her parents would leave her and become one of the bodies left to rot, only stuffed underground in the dark. And one day, she too would join them.

They forced the stories into her head, until images formed in her mind’s eye, like a movie that would not turn off. All day long she saw twisted bodies and twisted people, calling to her, singing to her, pleading with her to join them in their game of death.

Now she knew what death was. It was a monster, lurking around corners, waiting to strike. Death lived in everything. She could choke on a pea and fall into endless dark, or she could fall ill and never get better, no matter how many cold compresses Mommy put on her head.

And death could be wielded, like one of the weapons now swimming through her mind. People poured death over others, stomping those that got in their way. They slaughtered for sport, for gain, or just to see the life drain from one’s eyes. Most people killed all they could find. The wolves showed her the truth.

She clung to Mommy and Daddy. They weren’t killers. They were islands of safety, perfect protection from the terror of the world and her own mind. They calmed her fears with cookies and hugs and she knew that no matter what, she was safe in their arms.

“Your stories make me cry,” she told the wolves one night, as she crouched down next to her bed. “I don’t like you anymore.”

-Write a fifty headed hydra (500 words in five minutes) as Stacy tells the wolves she no longer likes them. If you fail, write 400 more.-

The wolves laughed and stuck their heads out of the shadows.

We’re sorry to hear that, they said. We were just showing you the truth. But we have one more story to tell you and it will make everything better. We promise.

“O-okay,” she said, ready for a story that would take away the horrors crowding her head.

Listen little one, the wolves crooned, and be free.

-Write 1000 words in honor of Stacy being free.-

Stacy knew the truth. The whole world killed, locked in a game that pitted neighbor against neighbor, each trying to draw the blood of the other. They never spoke of it, but all participated, teaching their children the joy of the blade.

Her parents didn’t murder. They never came home covered in blood, giddy from the hunt, and they never brought wounded children for her to practice on. They were weak, the dregs of society, poor deluded souls who most looked upon with pity.

She refused to pity such useless creatures. It was her duty, her right, to join society’s game. No one would fault her for cutting the blight of her parents from her life. They were robbing her of humanity’s greatest pleasure and would pay the price.

-Write 800 words in fifteen minutes as Stacy prepares to confront her parents. If you fail, write 650 more.-

Mommy and Daddy sat at the breakfast table, eating their eggs and toast. Stacy stepped over, holding the long black blade her wolf friends had given her. Daddy looked up and smiled.

“Good morning! Sleep – “He stared in confusion at the weapon clutched in her small fist and his eyes quickly clouded with concern.

“Stacy, where did you get that?” he said, and her mother turned around and gasped.

“You’ll cut yourself!” She sprung from the table and rushed over to Stacy, but Stacy jammed the blade into her mother’s side.

“You are the one I’ll cut,” she said, watching her mother stumble back, eyes wide and clamped to her wound.

Her father ran forward, but Stacy leapt up and jammed the blade into his chest. “Foolish,” she said, taking the knife from his skin with a pop. “You should have run.”

“Stacy,” her father croaked, as he fell to his knees. “This isn’t real… it’s a dream… wake up…”

“It’s not a dream,” she said, stepped around her father to get to her mother, who slipped on her own blood. Stacy grabbed her mother’s hair and lifted her head, the strength of wolves pumping through her heart.

“Honey,” the woman sobbed, but Stacy ignored her and ran the blade across her neck.

“Pathetic,” she said and dropped her to the floor. “No wonder you never played the game.”

-Write 300 words in five minutes to show that you will never neglect to play the game. If you fail, write another 700 words.-

Stacy made her way back over to her father. He continued to kneel and mutter, worth less and less with each sobbing word.

“You shouldn’t have robbed me of the game,” she said, holding the tip of the blade to his throat.

“What… what game?” He looked up at her, watery eyes glistening with cowardice.

“So, you deny it even with your last breath.” Stacy sneered and gripped the blade tighter. “You deserve death.” She jammed the blade into his throat and twisted the handle.

Her mind exploded in a blast of blackness and Stacy stepped back from the scene, her body twisting into something… powerful. She was shadow, pure and free, and she shed everything; her skin, her mind, her name.

Well done, her brethren said.

They rose up from the ground and surrounded her, their glowing eyes bright with approval. She looked over at the two human bodies. She would remember them, her first kill.

Let’s go home, she said.

The other wolves nodded and they all faded into the shadows, leaving only the smell of breakfast and death behind.

-Write 1000 words to congratulate Stacy for her first kill. Then congratulate yourself on completing this word crawl. Now go out there and play the game. The wolves are watching.-

[strayfriend]

I have too many pets. Here they are all in one place.

Steven Tiberius Beans. God's perfect little animal except that he needs to be walked at least twice a week or he'll scream and try to run out the door. Born July 2017. Made of morning sunbeams and cinnamon. Extremely touchable tummy. Captain of the debate team. Once very clearly yelled "fuck you" but in his defense I said it to him first. OTJ trained therapy cat but he would go to college for real if we could afford it.

Eggs Benedict (Bennifer, Bimby, Bindle etc) cannot contain his emotions. Big happy, big scared, little baby legs. Muzzle trained and slightly sedated for your safety. Plays the toddler xylophone piano. Feigns stupidity to manipulate others, has an absurd sense of humor. Built like a beanie baby but would bite a toddler over a squeaky toy. Born November 2019. In 2024 he got hit by a car and lost an eye but was otherwise unharmed. Proof that one can be divinely protected despite acting like a demon.

Seeker (Dreamsend Dream Seeker) was rehomed to me from sheer dumb luck Fall of 2020 because the universe knew we were meant to be together. His manner of grumbling resembles a human speech pattern with a stutter. Sweet sensitive perfect creature. Can summon small localized breezes specifically to blow his hair around and occasionally dream walks to visit his friends. Born August 2014.

Susuwatari (Susu, Soup, Soupy) is a former bottlefed foster that my sister couldn't let go of, so she gave him to one of my partners. Buddies with Benny. Cuddly. Gets protective of little fuzzy pompom toys. Says Eeeeh instead of meow. Born and adopted sometime in 2020. If anyone opens the fridge while he's in the kitchen he grabs their ass and yells until he is given spinach. This is known as Soup and Salad time.

Sully (Suliman) was dumped at my clinic with a bunch of other young cats. I was fostering him but failed almost immediately. He thinks everyone should love him despite the fact his favorite hobby is causing problems. He knows exactly how cute his face is and will make baby eyes at you after affectionately biting your nose. He bit through my girlfriend's vibrator charger, taught everyone to drink water with their paws and splash it everywhere (and dip kitty feets into the human beverages) and he opens the front door and plays in the yard if we don't LOCK him inside. But we love him anyway.

Rice Pilaf the Cat is a being I met once in a dream in 2018. I took her home and quarantined her from my own cats and planned to take her to the vet in the morning. I "went to bed" and repeatedly "woke up" to confirm her existence multiple times, still adjusting to the sudden change. When I woke up in real life, ready to get her in her carrier, she was nowhere to be found. "Where is Rice Pilaf?" I asked my partner, who in my dream was not only aware of her but getting increasingly annoyed with my false wakings to check on her throughout the night. None of that had happened. She hadn't even been born yet. In 2024, I met her for real when her owner reached out to my clinic for help rehoming her as he entered hospice care. I knew I would at least foster her, but when I met this little thing called "Kitty Cat" I'd seen her before, and adopted her almost immediately. She is extremely talkative, snuggly and demanding.

Seeker's sister Tara also lives here now

[toiletwipes]

mmm. having thoughts about soulmate au's with superpowers but like. not really superheroes? think more like umbrella academy. or the mr incredibles universe. either they don't want to be heroes or they were forced to come down from the post. also the soulmate part is where they can feel the other's emotions and sort of hear their thoughts.

warning: a bit of gore. and lots and lots of rambling from me. ~1.8k words. also because i said so, here's a song to listen to as you read this.

nothing in particular but on the mind where these two people, they're quite the pair. quite showoffs. everyone speculated it but because everyone assumed that once you met your soulmate, everything would make sense, and in a way it did.

and with wilbur, nothing made sense in this world, especially when he could hear, see, feel more than anybody, could do more, could... withstand.. more than people would normally be able to.

nothing clicked more with wilbur than the little routine he's built with this person. the arguments, the puns, the late-night confessions of their life. but never did they reveal their identity to him. they never wanted this. he wanted it more than anything. they weren't good, whatsoever. but somehow the moment he woke up this morning, he needed to find them.

and deep in his gut, something was wrong. something had gone wrong and it involved them. turning on the news just to get out of his head while slipping into his vigilante outfit, he finds that some weirdo decided to publicly call him out. as if he had any real standing on the council. he snorted, lacing up his boots but his blood freezes in the veins when he sees the footage of the apparent meetup between their weirdo and him.

he stares down as he recognizes the area and sees the familiar stance of his "nemesis". and he leaves as soon as the next minute, when he realizes that the note was to destroy him. but that's not him. that's not him and what the hell are they doing?

and on the other side of the coin, nothing ever made sense with wilbur, they couldn't understand why he'd want to help people, help others when the both of them were in so much pain because these people would never understand. nothing made more sense, though, when they recognized the handwriting on the note found in wilbur's normal spot for crime watching, recognized everything about it. and nothing made more sense than to go in his place, make sure that whatever this person wants with him, he never gets it.

and standing in front of them, about a few yards away but clearly hearing crazy talk, how they need to join forces and rid the world of all the actual evil. politics. big companies. but he had planted several bombs in schools and with a single button in his hand, they'd all go off. they needed to make sure that button is never pressed so..

using their portal-making abilities, they reach and grab it out of the air, watching as his face contorted when he realizes what happened. and then as they discharge the portal, a hand reaches all the way through their stomach.

they can't feel it initially, but it hits them a bit after they drop to their knees, breaking the button. and the person responsible pulls their hand out but a gunshot rings, and he drops too.

and wilbur knows he's late as he watches them drop, dropping his own gun. he feels his own throat clamp up on him, time slipping between his fingers as he tries to pull them into his arms, "what the fuck were you doing?" and he tries to sound angry for impersonating him. he wants them to know it was stupid. he didn't need protecting and they hated each other so why would they-

their face says it all. or maybe it doesn't. maybe they didn't need to say anything, he could hear it. hear them. hear them in his head. the panic, the blood seeping from him putting pressure on the wound, the dizziness, the way they could hardly stay conscious.

"answer me," but he needed to hear them, make sure they stay awake until the paramedics arrive.

"you're reckless," they choke out, blood coming out of their mouth and staining their teeth. and he curses time and that bastard, holding them close to his chest, rocking them both on his knees as he looks for the paramedics. they're in a demolition site downtown next to a police station and local hospital so why are they not here yet?

"like you're one to talk, you're gonna die because i'm reckless?" and they smile.

as much as they could as the tears dripped from the sides of their face, blood spilling between his fingers and the other arm wrapped around them to keep them close.

"better me than you," wilbur shakes his head but they keep going, "and for the record, i'd do it again."

"you fucking- i'm gonna kill you, we're gonna have a talk when you're all healed and better, and then i'm gonna kill you." wilbur rants and pats their face several times with his bloodied hand, trying to keep them awake. "asshole, you stay with me. fucking stay awake."

they try, they honestly try, holding with a faint grip on his wrist but the pain was so much, the only reason they've managed this long is because of who they are.

and it isn't even worth it. the only good thing in their life.. had been wilbur. but he's safe from that son of a bitch so all is well. so it was worth it. but they mourn the chances they know they're losing. the chance to tell him everything, to show their face to him willingly, to hold his hand other than to wrap it in bandages, to stare into his eyes for hours, to lay beside him. all the things you get to do with a soulmate.

and wilbur hears, sees it all. and he doesn't think twice before pulling them even closer even as he sees the paramedics, sees them and feels them dragging him away and he can hear himself beg to let him near. they tell him to let them do their job but how could he when his soulmate is pretty much dying and he couldn't ever explain to him why it shouldn't have come to this. how much they mean to him. and he hopes they can hear him confessing his feelings in his head.

from adoring their snorts when they laugh, how they punch him every time he says a bad joke, how they love pushing him off buildings just to make a portal beneath him and above them to catch him like a bride. how he wanted to hold them close and invite them back to his apartment that night when they told him about their childhood, about their parents. what they did.

the next time wilbur is able to see them, they're laying in a hospital gown, hooked up to a machine tracking their heartbeat, staring the crappy tv down. no mask. and they try to hide it but he can see it, see the way their heart jumps at the sight of him, and he tries to hide it too but he rips his mask off, hair coming out and sticking to his forehead. he kicks the door behind him. they need the space and privacy. drawing the curtains.

"never do that again, yeah? don't just- steal my identity and die in my place-" "-to be fair, i never said i was you, i just showed up and he assumed, okay." but they don't get it. they shouldn't have gone in his place because- because-

"you know i can't die right?" and the look that crosses their face, he knows they heard the real reason. not just because his immortality.

"i'm.. aware. but you didn't know this guy."

"i could've taken him."

"maybe but i couldn't chance that! last time i saw him- he-" they catch themself and then they notice the fact that he took his mask off. and that they don't have theirs. wilbur only knows this because they cut themselves off and all they can think about is his face. his hair. how his hair might look when it's not damp with sweat. how they want to touch his face, hold his hand and- well they cut themselves off when they notice he's paying attention to his thoughts.

"we're soulmates." he says, and they bite their lip, nodding after a pause, mumbling a soft 'yeah'. "when did you know- and more importantly, why didn't you say anything?"

they glance to the side, but their eyes don't stray from him for long, back on him, memorizing every detail on his face as he waits. they clear their throat, "well, i knew when you passed out on top of that building you're always at, the one by the ludo cafe, and i could see the dream you were having. it was about your family i assumed, two blondes and a twin, and you were swimming and stuff. but then a dragon, i don't know, burned the lake down, it was weird stuff."

it was a weird dream, wilbur admits.

"why didn't you say anything when you woke me up? rudely, by the way." and when they glance to the side and their eyes stick to the peeling wallpaper, they tell him inside their mind.

letting him feel the insecurity, the aching inside of them when you know you're not good for the world, when you want to carve your insides out for not being good enough for the world, for someone who is your world. how they weren't meant to love or be loved. just another experiment to plague the world with evil and destruction. so why would they deserve a soulmate? one so good to his city, even when it hasn't been good to him.

and it's enough to push a few tears down his cheek and he sits beside them, reaching over to hold their hand, even when they jump, seemingly lost in their thoughts where wilbur could hardly pull out of them.

"once you're discharged from the hospital, i'm going to make up for lost time and kick your ass. and then i'm moving you into my apartment."

and then they groan, with a small smile on their lips, "that shitty place, doesn't your a.c. go out every week?"

he smiles back at them, "yeah but that just means you'll have to stick close to me."

and though they bite their cheek, trying to look upset or disgusted by the idea, he can feel the hope, the joy inside of them. the kind you only feel inside of a dream of everything you want.

and so he pinches them, even when their punch to his shoulder makes it ache and almost not worth it.

"this is real," he reminds them, "this isn't a dream. besides, could i do this in a dream?" he pulls their hand towards his mouth and he kisses it, keeps it against his face and when the nurse comes over hours later to kick him out, he leans over them to kiss their forehead, pressing their palm to his cheek and whispers to them they have a date tomorrow. he'll pay. they punch him again, this time in the stomach but they've got a soft smile.

the nurse, when asked about her patient and their visitor by a reporter, cannot describe a single detail about their secret identities.

wilbur's landlady tells them they do not get an extra key now that wilbur has a roommate, and he doesn't mind that, he can just a spare a couple dollars to make his own copy.

and well, his soulmate has their doubts, they always do, and the fighting doesn't stop but wilbur gets to hold them close, gets to beat their demons away with a metal bat without their stupid secret identities getting in the way. and they get to be held, get to run their fingers through his hair, gets to indulge in every want and need they had since meeting wilbur, since knowing they've got a soulmate too. since their feelings developed for him.

and wilbur knows, knows it won't be easy but for them? it'd always be worth it. they'd always be worth it.

[blueskrugs]

That Don’t Sound Like You | Brock Boeser

title and inspiration come from the Lee Brice song of the same name. I like country music, okay? takes place roughly September 2015-August 2019. all games and other teammates are accurate.

because @captainkreider​ said “what if you write this for Brock” and I immediately had to rethink my priorities on who I will and will not write for. and then this happened. 

length: 4.7 words 

Girl, I’m glad you called

You met Brock early in your freshman year at University of North Dakota. He was always surrounded by people, popular and charismatic, even as a slightly awkward 18-year-old, but it seemed like he could, and would, talk to anyone who would listen.

You found that out for yourself when he plopped down a couple seats from you in some 100 level English lecture before leaning across the empty desk between you to introduce himself.

“I’m Brock,” he said with a grin.

You took a moment to assess him. His blond hair was tucked beneath a backwards snapback, looking every bit like a douche college athlete, but his blue eyes were kind, and his smile seemed genuine. You shot him a quick smile of your own before turning back to your notes.

“I’m Y/N,” you offered. Brock was still watching you closely; you flipped the page of your notebook.

Any further conversation was cut short by your professor coming in, his typical five minutes late. It was already the third week of class, and Brock had never sat near you before, usually choosing to sit more near the back, but you buried your confusion in favor of focusing on the lecture. 

Brock kept sitting next to you, though, would start a conversation with you most days. It was a week and a half before he asked for your phone number, another week before he actually texted you to complain about how he didn’t understand an assigned reading. In the meantime, you’d learned that you hadn’t grown up far from each other in Minnesota– just a couple towns away from each other outside Minneapolis, his favorite color– blue, but only one highly specific shade, and how he’d been drafted by the Canucks but was still trying out the whole college thing.

“So,” Brock started one day in October. You hummed in response, not looking up from your notes– you were trying to review for the test you had after this lecture was over. Brock nudged your elbow, but you still didn’t look up at him. “Hey. Y/N.” Brock was starting to whine now, so you glanced up at him. “So, uh, we have our first home game this Saturday.”

You raised an eyebrow at Brock. He looked nervous, fidgeting with a hoodie string and chewing on his bottom lip. You poked him in the arm with your pen. 

“Got something you wanna say, Boes?”

“Would you, y’know?”

You rolled your eyes. “No, Brock, I don’t know. Spit it out.”

“Do you wanna come to the game?” he finally managed.

Now, UND took hockey as seriously as some colleges took football, and you’d spent more than one conversation with Brock discussing hockey, so he knew you liked it. Of course you’d be at the game on Saturday. But Brock wasn’t asking if you were going as a hockey fan. He was asking if you’d come to see him play.

You grinned, and Brock ducked his head and refused to look at you. His cheeks looked a little pink. You poked him with your pen again, this time just below his ribs, and he squirmed and snatched the pen from your hand. 

“Yeah, Brock, I’ll be there,” you assured him. 

He threw your pen at you. 

Brock scored a hat trick in front of the sold-out crowd and swept you up in his arms outside the arena.

That became the new normal for you two. You went to every home game to watch as Brock tore up the league as one of the best freshmen anyone had ever seen. He’d meet you outside the arena, and you’d end up at a diner with the rest of the team with Brock’s arm draped around your shoulder. The team accepted you into their fold easily enough, teasing and chirping you just as they would any other player. There was time spent alone with Brock, too, or as alone as you could get in a dorm building. It had started under the pretense of studying together, but over time, it usually ended under a pile of blankets and Grey’s Anatomy playing on one of your laptops.

Brock kissed you for the first time in early December, after the team swept the weekend against Denver. It was cold, and his breath brushed across your face in a white cloud when he leaned in, but his lips were warm against yours. 

Not much changed after that, not really, except for the fact that Brock got much less shy about always wanting to be near you or touching you in some way, whether it was your knees pressed against each other beneath a table on a date, or a hand on your hip or linked with yours when you were hanging out with others.

He did trip over his own feet the first time he saw you wearing one of his hoodies, though. 

You surprised Brock in Tampa in April for the Frozen Four finals, where he had the game winning goal, and three more assists to boot. You weren’t sure you had ever seen him smile as big as when you jumped into his arms and wrapped your legs around his waist after the game, Stretch and Drake and everyone else still screaming somewhere behind you.

Truck tires on a gravel road Laughing at the world, blasting my radio Cannonballs splashing in the water

Brock called you one afternoon in June, after life had settled down into the lazy days of summer. “What’s up, babe?” you asked, absently throwing a tennis ball for your dog out in the yard.

Brock hesitated. “Do you still wanna come out to the lake with us?”

You had talked about it, a little, back when it was still ungodly cold in North Dakota, and Brock had mentioned that his family was going to try and rent a place on a lake for a week or two in July. It had seemed so far away then, as distant future as graduating or Brock heading off to Vancouver, which feels foolish now, with July creeping closer every day.

“Yeah, of course,” you said.

The two of you talked about the future for the first time that week at Minnetonka, between bets of who could make the biggest splash, or turning up Brock’s playlists as loud as you could, yelling the words to country songs up to the clouds.

Brock wanted to stay at UND another year, use it to develop his game, but he whispered in the dark one night that he was scared of making it all the way to the NHL and not living up to expectations, no longer a bright star, but a supernova, left to fade into nothing. 

You had dreams of your own, too. Graduating and getting a job in a big city, getting away from Minnesota and small towns where everyone knew everyone. California, maybe, or somewhere on the East Coast like D.C.

(Brock had made a face at you for that.)

You realized for the first time, too, that you just might be in love with Brock. You weren’t sure what to do with that realization, though, just tucked your face a little tighter into Brock’s shoulder, tried not to think about what you would do if Brock ever asked you to follow him to Vancouver. You weren’t sure you could give up your life plans for anyone.

July passed with days in the sun and nights near a bonfire, drowning in one of Brock’s hoodies as you sat in his lap under a blanket. You wished you could live in moments like those forever.

Sophomore year was different for both of you. You were busier with classes, and Brock was more focused on hockey than ever, determined not to let his freshman season be a fluke. 

Not that anyone thought it would be.

Brock became an alternate captain. Continued to dominate on the ice, came back stronger after a couple of injuries. Brock Boeser was making a name for himself, and it was only a matter of time before everyone started paying attention.

The day after the team lost to Boston University in double overtime, the defending champs going out on their very first game of the tournament, Brock was home in Minnesota, signing an entry-level contract, and playing his first game as a Vancouver Canuck.

He had kissed you goodbye on Thursday before the team left for Fargo, with an “I love you,” murmured against your lips, his hands tangled in your hair, the promise of “see you soon” unspoken but understood between you.

But you sat on your couch and watched as Brock took to the ice for the team that believed in him against the team he grew up watching, you started to wonder just how soon that would be, and if you’d ever get your Brock back, or if you’d lost his love to the city of Vancouver.

Brock scored a goal that night. You’d always known he would fit right in in Vancouver. 

Brock broke up with you that summer. You had seen it coming, maybe since last July, when you realized that your lives were heading in different directions, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less. You were supposed to go up to Minnetonka again, but you never made it that far before he was standing on your doorstep, hands shoved deep in your pockets.

Part of you wanted to insist that you could make the distance work, and maybe you could, maybe Brock thought it, too, but you couldn’t think of the words.

“I love you,” you said instead. 

You dropped a Target bag full of Brock’s things on his parents’ front porch, hoodies and beanies and other things that were too hard to keep, before you headed back to UND for the fall.

You kept in touch some, congratulatory texts (you) or pictures of the weather (him). You received dozens of Snapchats during All-Star Weekend in 2018, especially of the adorable dog he ended up adopting– you had vetoed changing his name from Cider– but you were pretty sure he was sending them to everyone.

Until you got one simply captioned “would be better with you here.” You stared at the picture– the view of Tampa outside his hotel room window– until the time ran out, and it disappeared. Then another came in, and you opened it quickly, unthinkingly. “Not quite like the last time we were in Tampa together tho.”

The only time you’d been to Tampa had been nearly two years before for the Frozen Four.

The picture disappeared again, and you didn’t know how to respond. So you didn’t.

You graduated a semester early and made plans to move to the East Coast and get a job, start your life for real. No one commented on how you were about as far away from Brock and Vancouver as you could get.

You were doing laundry at your parents’ house, packing most of what you owned in your car to move, when you came across a green UND hockey T-shirt. It still smelled a little like Brock, even though it had been buried in your room for years. You spared half a thought to wonder if Brock ever even missed it before you throw it in the washing machine. 

You were surprised, then, when you got a text– a real one, too, not a Snapchat message– from Brock later that summer. You had never responded to those messages he had sent during the All-Star Game, and he had stopped sending things after a while. That had been over a year ago. 

Brock’s message was simple, just a “hey, how have you been?” You wondered if he even knew you moved, and you were immediately suspicious of ulterior motives. 

You left him on read for a couple of hours, before responding, and your message was short, curt. Your suspicions were proved right when he responded within half an hour.

“so” “Some of the guys from UND are coming up north for a couple days” “and they’ve been making some noise about seeing you”

You sighed. You were too tired for playing games, talking coyly, pretending like you were anything more than a couple of exes, practically strangers at this point. You pressed the call button below Brock’s name, realized for the first time that you’d never removed the green heart emoji from his contact. 

“Y/N?” Brock sounded surprised, as if he hadn’t been the one to text you first.

“Why now, Brock?” you asked. Why do you still care, is what you didn’t.

“Stetch won’t shut up about wanting to see you, and some of the other guys picked up the chorus,” Brock said. He sounded as tired as you felt. It may have been years since you had last seen some of his teammates from UND, it certainly sounded like they haven’t changed much. 

You went quiet, chewing on your bottom lip. Brock rushed to fill the silence.

“You don’t have to come. I just- I don’t know what I was thinking. I shouldn’t have texted, I’m sorry.” His voice faded slightly, like he’d pulled the phone away from his ear to hang up.

And, well, you were going to blame what you said next on the fact that it was well after midnight and that you’d been awake for too many consecutive hours. 

“When is everyone coming up?”

Brock was silent, not even the sound of his breathing coming over the line. You checked to make sure he hadn’t, in fact, ended the call.

“Uh, second week of August,” he finally said.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Brock echoed. You could picture the crease between his eyebrows.

“Yeah, ‘okay.’ I’ll think about it,” you said. 

You didn’t know why you said that.

You didn’t know why you booked a flight to Minneapolis, or why you were actually looking forward to it. Even when Brock texted to warn you that some of his Canucks teammates would be there with the old faces from UND. 

You didn’t know what you were doing as you stood in the entryway of a lake house in Minnesota. Out on the deck, you could see some familiar faces, but you had never felt so out of place in your life. 

This was a bad idea. No, it was a terrible idea. You weren’t in college anymore. These weren’t your friends, your people. They had all moved on with their lives, and so had you. A weekend on a lake in Minnesota would only bring back the memories and the regrets of years gone by. 

You were just debating turning around and pretending that you had never even come when Brock stepped in and saw you standing there, looking like a fool. He looks surprised to see you. You take another step into the house.

“Hey, Y/N!” The surprise is gone nearly as quickly as it had appeared, replaced with what looks like genuine happiness. “C’mon, everyone’s outside.”

You follow silently, taking in Brock’s bare, tanned shoulders, the way his hair looks blonder from hours spent out on the lake. For a moment, you’re both 19 again.

Stetch yells when he sees you first, and then you’re being mobbed by hockey players. You only know a couple from UND– Stetch, Drake, and Josty, to start– and the rest are from Vancouver, introductions blurring together in a mess of faces and nicknames– Tuna, Petey, and Chris, who had definitely been called Dad by at least three different people.

You finally manage to break away and head for a drink, but Brock follows you.

“I’m glad you came,” he says, and you believe him, look into his eyes, painfully earnest and real and blue like the reflection of the sky on the lake. You offer a weak smile in return, not sure if you can say the same, not yet. Brock steps closer and opens the lid of the cooler you’re standing next to. “Jess says you ended up in D.C. after all. How is that? You happy?” 

His question catches you off-guard, and you hesitate, too long. “Yeah,” you say finally. “Yeah, it’s great.” Everything I’ve ever wanted, except you’re not there, is what you don’t say. You wonder briefly if he can still see right through you.

Brock’s head is buried in the cooler as he digs through the ice, but you can still see the way his shoulders go up like they always do when he’s frowning. That’s a yes, then. 

“What’s the difference between a White Claw and a Truly, anyway?” he muses instead of calling you out, before surfacing with one of each in his hands. He offers them both to you, and you take the Truly– wild berry, your favorite, not that Brock would have any reason to know that– and leave him the White Claw. He cracks it open and takes a long drink. You tear your eyes away from the line of his throat as he swallows.

“Boyfriend couldn’t make it?” Brock asks pointedly. Damn, he still follows you on Instagram.

You take a drink yourself instead of answering right away. “Couldn’t get off work,” you say. Which isn’t a lie, not really, but you hadn’t even asked, just told him you would be visiting home for the week. You didn’t think he’d love the idea of spending a weekend with a bunch of hockey players, especially when the one who’d invited you happened to be your ex-boyfriend.

Brock just blinks at you for a moment. “Well, I’m glad you could make it,” he says again, just as honest as before. 

When the next person asks if you’re happy in D.C., you’re not quite as off-guard, and you manage to smile when you answer this time. Brock is watching you from across the deck, though, and you wonder if the smile looked as fake as it felt to everyone else, or if it was just Brock. 

You’re arguing with Josty about something ridiculous, when Emma, Troy’s girlfriend, sees you for the first time. 

“Oh my God, you cut your hair! It’s so cute!” she said before wrapping you up in a hug.

When she lets you go, you sweep your hair over one shoulder, an old habit from when it hung halfway down your back; it barely brushed your shoulders now.

“Thought it was time for a change,” you say, “and my boyfriend really likes it this way.”

Next to you, Tyson frowns and mumbles something about finding Brock. You and Emma both watch him go, a little confused.

I know it’s been a while, I don’t mean to pry But when I asked you if you’re happy, I didn’t hear a smile,  and that don’t sound like you

You’re sitting on the dock with your feet in the water that night when Brock settles next to you. Up at the house, everyone is either asleep or on their way to it. You’re both quiet for a moment, just the sound of crickets and the water lapping against the dock. 

“I wasn’t sure you’d actually come,” Brock says lowly. 

You breathe out a laugh. “I wasn’t either, not until I was actually here,” you admit. 

“Why did you come?”

“Why did you invite me?” you counter. It was the thing that kept bothering you about all this. Why had Brock decided to reach out now, after so long, after you’d moved on?

Brock sighs. “Hadn’t heard from you in a while.” It’s almost defensive, the way he says it. 

“Not like you tried very hard to catch up ever,” you say, and it’s mean, because you had stopped responding first, but you hadn’t known what else to do, how else to handle the heartbreak you had to relive with every text. 

“You fucking stopped talking to me!” Brock says, and, yeah, you deserve that, deserve the anger in his voice. You don’t expect to hear sadness, too, but you do. 

“What else was I supposed to do, Brock? Keep torturing myself with every text I sent?” You can’t bring yourself to be mad. You tilt your chin to look up at the stars instead, pretend you can’t feel Brock’s eyes on you. The stars are so much brighter out here, back home. “You were off chasing your dream, so it was time I went after mine.”

There’s silence for a moment. Then, “Why’d you come here, Y/N?”

“I don’t know. One last hurrah for when we were all in college? For freshman year when the future seemed so bright? For when I still thought having a good job in a good city with a guy who loves me would make me happy, but sometimes I feel like I’m in the wrong city with the wrong guy?”

You get up before Brock can answer and leave him sitting on the dock in the dark. 

Morning comes, and you’re not sure the conversation with Brock even happened, except for the fact that Brock is alternating between watching you intently and refusing to make eye contact. Chris makes everyone breakfast, and you now understand why everyone was calling him Dad. You settle next to Troy, lean your head on his shoulder. 

“Did I somehow do something to make Petey not like me?” you ask, watching him talk quietly to Brock at the other end of the table. 

“Nah,” Stetch says, taking a bite of bacon. “His English still isn’t great, and his default resting face makes it look like he hates everyone.” He pauses, takes another bite. “Well, and the fact that you broke our boy Brock’s heart. He’s sensitive, don’t ya know?” His tone is light, teasing, but his words make you freeze.

You gasp, too loud for the morning air. A couple people glance over at you, but you’re turning to Stetch, who at least looks like he realizes his mistake.

“Brock broke up with me,” you hiss.

Troy barely glances down the table at Brock, but you still catch it. For a split second, you consider just getting up and leaving, but settle for glaring at Brock, who doesn’t look up. His cheeks still flush like he can feel your eyes on him.

“I no longer want to be a part of this conversation,” Stetch says, making a move to get up, but you grab his wrist. He winces but stays sitting. “Look, he came back for his rookie year and was always kinda quiet-” You scoff. “-but none of us asked any questions, and then after All-Star he said you’d stopped responding to his texts.” Stetch finishes with a shrug. 

“I stopped answering because I was still in love with him and stuck in North Dakota after he broke up with me that summer, dumbass. What the hell else was I supposed to do after he told me he wished I were at the All-Star Game with him? I was never going to be able to follow Brock to Vancouver, and he made it pretty clear he never really wanted me to, anyway.”

You didn’t realize that most of the conversations around the table had gone quiet until it was too late. Brock had gone pale. You had never wanted a confrontation, not here, but it was looking inevitable. Everyone else seemed to sense this, too, because soon the table was cleared, and it was just you and Brock. 

“Why do you stay if you’re not happy?” is what Brock says first.

“I- what?”

Brock smiles at you, but it’s sad. “Do you think I can’t tell?”

“I am happy,” you say, defensive. And you are, or you will be one day, once you can finally stop thinking about Brock, about all the what-ifs, the possibilities that are long gone. You were getting there, too, before you came back to Minnesota for this weekend and everything came crashing down around your ears. Still, maybe this is the closure you needed.

“Oh yeah?” Brock says in return, and it's a taunt, really, mean in a way that he’s never been with you.

“Since when do you have any right to my happiness? What do you want me to say, Brock? That I always knew we were never meant to work out, but I fell in love with you anyway? That I went to D.C. and got everything I wanted, but once I had it, it didn’t seem right anymore? They say you never forget your first love, and, dammit, it’s really hard when yours is living his dream and tearing it up in the NHL. Is that what you want to hear, Brock? That I’ll never really get over you, even as I fall in love again, resign myself to the fact that someone else is going to fall in love with you someday, and be everything for you I couldn’t?”

Brock is frozen at the other end of the table. You want to jump in the lake, stay underwater until your lungs burn and your tears are hidden. You want to get in your rental car and drive, drive all the way to Minneapolis and keep going until you’re out of Minnesota and never look back. You want to kiss Brock, for old time’s sake, and you never want to see his face again. 

He still hasn’t said anything, so you turn and go inside, past everyone pretending like they hadn’t just been watching everything. You’re throwing everything back in your bag when Brock stumbles up the stairs. You pause, cross your arms, and raise an eyebrow at him. 

“Shit, wait,” he pants.

You can’t hold back the smirk. “Aren’t you supposed to be a professional athlete?” you say, almost without thinking. 

Brock flips you off as he leans against the doorframe, but it’s half-hearted. 

“You can’t just say shit like that and then fucking walk away,” he says, and it comes out more like a whine. “I just- I had no idea. Should’ve probably, yeah, but-” he stops, collects his thoughts. “What did you mean when you said you could never follow me to Vancouver?”

“Would you even have asked,” you say, which isn’t an answer at all.

“I don’t know, you were always talking about all of your plans, and I never wanted to stop you. I didn’t know if you’d ever want to follow me.” And, finally, for the first time in years, it seems like you two understand each other.

“Of course I did,” you say softly, and Brock looks up at you, surprised. “I just didn’t know that then. And then I didn’t think you wanted me, not when I was just some girl from college.”

“You were never just some girl from college,” Brock says quickly. He rolls his eyes. “You wanna know why I asked if you were happy? You cut your hair.” Brock sounds pained, and you remember all the times he would play with your hair while you cuddled on the couch or in bed. “Since when do you change something like that for a guy?”

“And I wouldn’t have had to change for you? After I’d graduated, if you wanted me to come to Vancouver for you?” 

Brock’s recoils, your words like a slap to the face, but it’s not as vindicating as you thought it would be. “It’s not just the hair. It’s the way you talk, the way you smile. What happened to the girl I knew?”

And that’s the problem. You’re not the girl he knew, not anymore. You’ve both grown up, lived life a little more. You might still love Brock, but you love the Brock from North Dakota, not the one who’s been in Vancouver for two years. You don’t know that Brock, and maybe you could love him, but that’s not for you to find out. It’s not fair to anyone. It just took you coming out to the lake to realize that. 

So you smile at Brock and say, “She got her heart broken and left North Dakota behind.” But you follow Brock back downstairs, spend the day out on the water, feeling settled for the first time since you got there, maybe since you had last spoken to Brock way back in 2018. 

That town, that job, that guy You can leave them behind, girl, you know you’re better than that

The boys build a bonfire after dinner, as the sun sets over the lake, and someone breaks out the ingredients for s’mores. 

“Y’know,” Brock says, resting his hand on your knee after you’ve settled into a chair. His hand is warm through the blanket draped over your lap. “For what it’s worth, there would always be a place for you in Vancouver.” 

Maybe there would be, but you weren’t sure that that place was somewhere you belonged. You don’t say that, though, just settle your feet in Brock’s lap and take the marshmallow that’s being offered to you. 

There’s a life waiting for you on the other side of the continent, and it just might be the one you were always meant to have. 

[stray-kids-react]

Polaroid

Han x Fem. Reader Soulmate au

Warnings - Swearing, mentions of sex, and Fluff that'll make you cry.

Masterlist

...

Y/n's pov, November 27 2020

My mother once told me that I will know when I'm in love, she never specified what hints will cross my path... She just said I'll know.

As a young adult now, sharing an apartment with my close friend Yeji. I'm starting to become impatient with this whole game of love, why can't I just get told who is my perfect match. I'm so tired of having my hopes risen up and then crashed down onto my heart... Breaking it each time.

"Any plans today?" Yeji asked from the kitchen, making me cringe at the word plans.

I just was still recovering from a terrible break up, where I caught the supposedly love of my life slurping the life out of his assistants pussy. I won't forget the feeling of my heart completely stopping for a few seconds, as my mind told me to run and not look back.

"Yes actually, I have a date with Netflix and the leftovers in the fridge." I replied, slyly smirking as she stared at me like a worried mother.

"Well Netflix isn't going to have to wait for his turn. Because I have this guy who is really interested you and is a total sweetheart." She sighed, showing me a photo of the guy she was trying to set me up with.

"Yeah... No." I replied, beginning to retreat back to my room.

"Y/n! JISUNG TOLD ME!" Yeji announced, catching my attention from the front of my bedroom door.

"I-it's still a no Yeji." I whimpered, shutting the door harshly behind me as she sighed in defeat.

Yeji's pov

She needs to get out of this place, it's been two weeks now. All over a guy she barely even knew, I know the true reason she is hiding and she will never admit it.

Y/n is scared to see his face again, our best friend Han Jisung. The best friend that she happened to fall in love with, and moved away from after she got accepted into the university of her dreams.

They were never just best friends in anyone's eyes, not even there own. Yet they both tried to fill in the whole in their heart with other people, never realizing that all they had to do was just say three difficult words.

Y/n was in a hurry to find her perfect partner after I found mine, the man next door with the matching tattoo on his wrist. Your tattoo shows up when you are over the age of 19 and are near your soulmate, it shows up on your wrist, neck, or shoulder blade.

She didn't want to see Jisung in case that tattoo never came, they both wouldn't be able to handle the realization. But it is a part of life, and I'm not going to let my best friends live alone when they could have a chance to be in love and happy.

Han wanted to see us both while he was visiting the city, even though he knew the risk of utter devastation. That fake profile was just a set up so that she would finally meet up with Han, and she probably already knew about my plans.

I walked up to her door cautiously, gently brushing my knuckles against her door.

"Y/n... I know why you are actually upset."

Y/n pov

"Because of Han Jisung." I answered, brushing past the old childhood photos saved on my phone.

"I know that's what you were going to say Yeji, and you're right. I know I won't be able to take it if the guy I love isn't the one for me, and that all of those nights alone with him that are coded into my brain are worthless. I'm scared Yeji, I'm scared that I won't be able to think of most of my life without tearing up." I explained, as she plopped down on my bed next to me.

"You're fear will just get worse until you find out, you'll never know the result until you actually try." She replied, placing my head on her shoulder for comfort.

I let out a shaky breath as a couple tears streamed down my cheeks, she was right as usual. But I still needed at least one day to prepare myself.

"Fine, but let me rest today. I'm not going to fancy restraint with puffy eyes and bed head." I remarked, watching as a sly smile spread across her lips.

She slowly began to exit my bedroom, delighted that she finally got her way with me. Not even explaining who that fake date even was, probably just a random guy from Google. It was 11:30 at night, and all of my crying really wore the energy out of my body and mind.

So eventually sleep crossed paths with my mind and hooked up, completely losing consciousness as my memories flashed like a polaroid camera.

December 15th 2018

"I can't believe we're graduating this year, seems like we only started high school yesterday." Jisung sighed, carrying both of our bags while walking home together.

"Don't worry quokka, you'll still carry my bags for me even after high school." I teased, pinching the reddened skin of his cheeks.

"Oh very funny, and you'll still put crackers in your mouth and pretend to be a walrus." He remarked dodging the snowball that came his way.

He set my bags down on my front yard as he gathered his own army of cold fluff balls. I tackled him to the ground as we both drowned the silence in laughter, I traced my frosted mittens across his face. Gently crossing his lips as he brushed the snow chunks from my hair.

The close warmth of his breath against my face sent my heart into a frenzy, I secretly craved the closeness of him... But I never wanted to admit it in case I'd lose him.

His now glossed lips looked so kiss able, the way they pouted as he focused on my hair. And how they stretched into a warm smile that left a fuzzy feeling in my heart for years, made it only harder to stop myself from interlocking them with mine.

"I better get going bun bun. I'll see you tomorrow at school though." Jisung reassured, lightly booping my nose as he left his trail from my snowy front yard. Waving one last time to catch my attention as I was at the front door.

"Farewell loser!" He shouted, showing off that bright smile of his.

"Farewell to you as well, asshole!" I retorted, giggling as I walked into my empty house all alone.

November 28th 2020

Y/n pov

"Wake up! Time for bubble tea!" Yeji screamed, jumping on top of me as she consistently hit me with my own pillows.

"I thought we were meeting Jisung later." I sighed, looking at the red numbers of my alarm clock reading 7:30am.

"Yes we are, but I want bubble tea and to talk with you about some stuff I found out." Yeji replied, pulling me out of bed to soon push me into the washroom.

I complied to her excited energy, understanding it is pretty exciting for her.

The steaming water swallowed every inch of my skin, blocking out all of the noises outside. Only leaving me and the blank wall to stare at, droplets of water racing against each other. A flash of the mirror and sunlight clashing, sending the flash of a polaroid to my memories.

August 16th 2018

Yeji squealed as her boyfriend threw her into the pool, soon joining her in a large cannonball jump. All of his friends danced around with liquor drenching their breath, as their bodies clashed together in ways they didn't fully understand.

It wasn't my style of fun, it instead gave me a wave of fear and stress. Not recognizing any of these people, while they danced around half naked. Yeji's boyfriend decided that she had enough fun for one night, and took her home to rest.

I hurriedly gathered my belongings and rushed out the door, just as excited and horny shouts came from the pool. I was okay to walk home alone, it felt nice to be surrounded my silence for once. Even if my conscious tortured me about every bad possibility.

"Need a drive home party animal?" a familiar voice called from across the road, that voice of the man who has always had my back.

"I'd actually really like that." I replied, feeling a wave of comfort when I entered the car.

"I can tell your a bit freaked out." He sighed, throwing his bad into the backseat.

"That party was just... A lot. A lot more than I expected." I whimpered, still a bit overwhelmed from the experience.

"How about you stay at my place for the night. We'll even watch some American horror story..." Jisung suggested, even though he was shit terrified of anything remotely scary.

"I'm holding you to it quokka." I giggled, slapping his thigh teasingly.

We drove to his home as the car filled with a random playlist of songs, one landing on my favorite 'Turning Page'.

"I didn't know you liked this song." I commented, blushing softly at the tone of the song.

"I want this to be the song that represents me and my soulmate. It sounds cheesy, but it's true." He revealed, glancing my way as the car stopped in the from of his home.

The whole topic of soulmates use to be humorous to me, remembering when me and Han drew matching docks on our palms as 'our' symbol. Even taking a polaroid photo of the amazing art we drew, I still have it in my phone case.

Then it hit me, how much it would hurt to see him destined with someone other then me. That moment when he glanced back into my eyes with a shy smile, is when I admitted to myself for falling madly in love with my best friend.

November 28th 2020

I walked along the streets of our home town, hanging my mask off my chin when sipping my bubble tea.

"You know what's crazy." Yeji started, catching my focus immediately.

"I remember the moment you started crushing on Jisung. You didn't even have to tell me, I already knew." She admitted, gazing at me with only a soft warmth in her eyes.

"It was obvious by how many photos you had of him and you on your wall, and the way you looked at him as if he were your dream person." She continued, texting something on her phone that I couldn't quite see.

"Or how when he caught you staring he'd reply with 'take a picture it'll last longer'... And you always did to get revenge. I will never forget the day I saw you two as more then best friends, that was the same day when I bought you that polaroid camera for Christmas. " She replied, taking a short break as her hands nervously fidgeted with her skirt.

"That's why I want a 'thank you' later on." She mumbled, before running off and leaving me completely stunned on the bench.

"Y/n..."

September 14th 2018

"It's crazy that this is your last day here." I sighed, trying my best not to cry.

He nodded trying to smile the pain away like me, but soon caving in once his arms met my body. I nuzzled into the crook of his neck, hoping I could capture his scent one last time.

"I'll still visit. I can't cope without seeing your face, asshole." He chuckled lightly, sniffling quietly when he retracted his arms away.

He stared at my features for a few long seconds, as if he was contemplating on doing something. Jisung shook his head, smiling brightly once more as he pulled me into one last hug.

As he put his palm on the door knob, I shouted his name one last time. Running across the room towards him, he turned around immediately dropping his bangs on the ground.

He instantly knew what I was going to do, since his lips molded with mine without one ounce of hesitation. His hands lost in my hair, pulling me closer and closer until there was no space between us. Jisung's lips were so much sweeter and softer then any other kiss I've had.

The sweetness was sprinkled with the salty taste of our mixed tears. Only creating more as the kiss began to end, both of us realizing we should've told each other so much sooner.

"I love you." We both sighed at the same time, smiling sadly at the bittersweet sting in our hearts.

November 28th 2020

"Jisung..." I gasped, turning around quickly to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.

"W-wow... You've really. Wow." He stuttered, cautiously inching closer towards me.

"You too." I chuckled airily, swallowing back my tears. I missed him so much, but it hurt too much to see him at the same time.

"Y/n... I know it's been a while. But I honestly came here because I needed to see you. I still love you, and I don't care if we're soul mates or not. I'll sharpie our own symbol on us everyday if I have to." He revealed, grasping my hands between his own.

"I'm sorry that I was being so selfish." I sighed, caving into my own tears. Regretting my fears of seeing him again, feeling terrible for torturing him just as much as I tortured myself.

"We are both scared. It's not our fault, but I just want us to accept that things may not go our way. But that won't stop us from being together." He reassured, lightly brushing frosted his mitten across my features. Glossing over my lips gently, his eyes warm and gentle as they fluttered shut.

I molded into his kiss immediately, lacing my fingers through his silky hair. Soon pulling him closer to my so there was no space between us, making sure no one could try and ruin this moment for us.

His lips still were as sweet as the first time they molded into mine, and his fingertips could still make my legs give out by how gentle they were against my skin. Every emotion flashed through my mind, all my regrets, confidence, love, lust... It all flashed just like a...

"Polaroid." He gasped, tugging my palm next to his as the ink slowly traced the same picture into my palm. The picture of the camera that captured all the moments I treasured with my soulmate, the soulmate that was everything I could've asked for.

[ultimatebethylficlist]

Artist of The Month: May 2021

Our featured artist of the month for May is a well-known name in the Bethyl fandom: none other than @doeroseq !

DoeRoseQ can be found right here on tumblr, as well as on AO3 and Instagram, all under the same name.

When asked about her thoughts on Bethyl and her creative journey in the fandom, she said:

My obsession with the romance of Beth and Daryl actually began in the summer of 2015. I had followed them on ‘The Walking Dead’ well before that, but like so many, I was absolutely devastated when Beth Greene was senselessly killed in the middle of season 5 and therefore became extremely disillusioned with and discouraged by TV series itself. I barely even watched it anymore after that awful and infuriating event. But it was that following summer when I just happened to discover that there was an avid online fandom that existed for this couple that I had not previously known about. And then I stumbled down the rabbit hole that is... BETHYL. I learned what “ship�� and “shipping” meant in the fandom context of loving the relationSHIP of two fictional characters. I discovered Bethyl fan fiction, Bethyl-dedicated accounts on Instagram and Tumblr, I met other devoted Bethyl shippers like me and realized just how passionate we all are about this couple. It was a whole new world that opened up for me. It sparked my own creativity from early on and began making a TON of photo collages and edits of them in fall of 2015. I began sharing them on my Instagram and Tumblr accounts—both named DoeRoseQ—and the rest is history. In April of 2016, I even established a solely Bethyl-focused Facebook group—“The Safe Zone”—that has since grown to 70 members and I am very proud of that. And I am very protective of my SafeZoners. I have so much love for those who have the sensitivity and tender intuition of knowing that Bethyl is indeed LOVE. Bethyl is LIFE. In February 2017, the Beth Greene action figure was finally introduced by McFarlane toys and that inspired me to buy both her and a couple of Daryl action figures because I had a vision of posing them together and taking photos of them. What I couldn’t get in series canon, I could make real in my photos! giggle I took a lot of artful and whimsical pictures of my figures. The one of the both of them riding the unicorn is one of my very favorites. I was very amused by the image of Beth and Daryl in a purely fantasy setting/situation. I was also very pleased with a photo session I did of my two action figures sitting atop an actual bouquet of roses that my husband had given me. The fact that they were real roses made it very authentic. I don’t use any fancy software—such as Photoshop—to manipulate the digital images. I may tweak the images with colors and filters and add text or “stickers,” but what you see is pretty much what it was. I was and still am always on the lookout for possible props and settings to use in my photos of my action figures. Eventually, I thought of using the photos I took to make an “action figure comic strip series” that I named ‘The Adventures of Beth & Daryl.’ By then, I had dug out my childhood dollhouse furniture and accessories to use for my photo sessions to create the comics. The process of creating each strip begins with writing an actual dialogue script that also maps out how many panels/photos are needed. After that step is complete, I gather all of the action figures and miniature props I need for that particular story/installment/chapter and take pictures of them—either inside of my house or in my front yard or backyard if the script calls for an outdoor setting. Once I have all of my photos, I use my iPhone’s photo editing app to put them into a comic strip format and add word balloons for the dialogue plus other miscellaneous text that helps tell the stories. Making these comic strips allows me to lovingly construct a happy and domestic “imagine” for Beth and Daryl—a peaceful and adoring existence that they never got on TWD, but so deserved! After making a few comic strips, I began actually drawing Beth and Daryl later in 2017.

Bethyl has inspired me to create in so many different ways. And what I make is not as much to make me happy as I want it to make other adoring fans of Bethyl like myself feel happy... AND hopeful. Bethyl forever no matter what!!!

When asked about her thoughts on her favorite piece of art she has created so far, she shared the following:

My favorite drawing of the few that I have done is the one shown here that I titled “Each Other’s Angels.” It was drawn with colored pencil, crayon, and marker on paper and I even added glitter glue to their angel wings. This drawing can be interpreted in a couple of different ways. The first being that Beth and Daryl were always meant to be together and look out for each other—like each other’s guardian angels... during life and after they both die. For example, in TWD canon, Beth is supposedly dead... so she is Daryl’s angel—watching over him and protecting him. He would have done the same if he had died and she survived. OR... this could be the scene of what happens after Daryl dies and is reunited with Beth in heaven. However any Bethyler wants to interpret it is okay with me. In January 2018–while on the Walker Stalker Cruise—I gifted the original drawing to Norman Reedus himself and I had him sign a copy of the drawing for me to keep. In April 2018, I saw Emily Kinney in concert in LA and asked her to sign my copy of the drawing along with Norman’s signature. I also gave her a copy to keep for herself. It is very meaningful to me that I was able to give both of them the drawing.

Each Other’s Angels

DoeRoseQ’s Other Favorite Creations:

Rainbows and Unicorns

Bethyl on a Bed of Roses

The Adventures of Beth and Daryl: Bakin’ Beth

Her “Adventures of Beth and Daryl” series can also be found on AO3.

In addition to having created so much lovely artistic content, DoeRoseQ is an amazing fandom supporter. She always gives kind words and enthusiastic encouragement to Bethyl fan artists and fan fiction writers sharing their works in the fandom.

Thank you for all your wonderful contributions, @doeroseq​ ! Be sure to check out her pages and show her art some love!

[arsalamsyah]

NY & LA

This stage of life. Ugh. Can I just skip?

Last time I wrote here was when I held myself calmly in a steady state of mind taking a step back to understand better what is within. I found me. Then, there was a moment, life had to change and all of a sudden, I don’t feel like myself again. 

It was New York. I could find peace in NY. I left my heart in NY. So in love that I was blinded for its flaws. I know that sounds too romantic after the fact, but that’s the truth. I would call it home even before the first day I moved in because I often went back and forth between DC & NY. I enjoyed it, I was motivated, and I cherished it -- a lot. Living at the heart of Chelsea, Manhattan overlooking the Empire State building from my bed and The Edge at Hudson Yards from the living room -- what glorious days it was. My all time favorite The High Line was just two blocks away, NYC Clock Tower in the visibility, Little Island was just around the corner, Google’s office was in the neighborhood, subway station in two blocks, Trader Joe’s in 5 minutes, you name it. 

One day, in late 2017, I lived in the outskirts of Richmond, Virginia, I remember I woke up in the morning and said to myself, “One day, I’m gonna live in Chelsea, in a beautiful apartment with a marble countertop”. I don’t know why it’s that specific, but dream does come true. Or did come true I should say. It was purely another lucky day to have that kind of apartment and more like “by accident” to be frank. However, that day had gone.

I took a lucrative job offer in LA. It was a tough decision to make. Even harder than whether I should drop out of college or transfer to a better school back in 2014. I know I don’t like the city ever since I visited for the first time in 2018 during a roadtrip in the west. It’s not even a city actually, it’s a collection of suburbs -- that’s how California is built. It’s a place to have your holiday vacation, but not for a living. At least to me. There are plenty of reasons why.

First, I used to live in cities where groceries, schools, hospitals, entertainment, and other basic necessities are in proximity. Growing up in a city where everything is so close -- not even larger than 5km radius -- has made living in LA is like hell for a lack of better words. I don’t see the idea of sustainable living here when everything is so far away even if you drive a car. I like driving when I am on a roadtrip but I don’t like driving to commute every single day. So much carbon to produce by one person in a regular four to five seats sedan car. Driving a car is not safe either. Highways have 8 lanes each direction, reckless drivers speeding above 80mph are normal, quite a surge on car insurance, and so many accidents happened in my first two weeks which makes me even more reluctant to own a car again. 

Second, because everyone lives so far away, it’s hard to make connections outside work. Meeting the same person twice a month is already something to be grateful for. So much effort to go to a meeting point considering everyone’s addresses. In fact, I didn't have any friends living in the west coast until I moved here. All of my friends are in the east coast. I am not as motivated as I used to to make new friends. Why would I spend my time on the road and meet people that I don’t even think we’re gonna last long. This is not me.

Third, I don’t feel safe outside the office, home, or beach. One day I cycled to the office and found plenty of bullets in the street. That’s how I knew I was passing by the wrong neighborhood even though it looked just fine in the morning. There is a big masjid that is just across a gun store -- like dude, it’s no brainer. My friends who used to live in LA and even my recruiter don’t suggest living close by the office because the crime rate is a bit high. I literally saw tens of police cars chasing down the street and pointing their guns at two men right in front of my office. Sometimes you can tell a neighborhood is so sketchy. Campgrounds of homeless are shockingly in many corners of the city -- literally campgrounds with tents and tarps. Since then, I took people’s precautions seriously to not go out alone after dark -- which is also not so me. 

Fourth, let’s talk about geography. I often run to exercise and I like running by the water, be it river, lake, ocean. When I saw LA’s terrain in google earth -- crap, there is no river in the city. The only option is the beach, so I chose to live closer to the beach. Two days of apartment hunting, all the neighborhoods are so dry and arid -- except the gated complex I’m currently in, which thankfully has lush trees and numerous amenities. Related to geography, people keep saying LA has great weather, sunny, and breezy all year round. Well, the sun is so bright that my eyes cannot resist even with the sunglasses, and I got sunspot. Most mornings, like until 8 or 9 am, are actually foggy so I barely see sunrise -- a crisis to my natural light wake up system. On top of that, one season is no better than four seasons. It’s so boring. I was born during winter time, I love fall and winter, and I’m gonna miss it a lot this year.

There is always something to rant about when we dislike something. To me, LA ranks the second lowest compared to all other cities I lived in, while NY stays in the first place. I 100% agree with Emma Chamberlain who’s been living in LA for years and states “The second I exit LA, my mental health will improve greatly. The second I leave. Like it’s gonna be that easy.” Here I am hating the city but so in love with my job and my team. This may be another whole topic in the near future. Maybe, just maybe.

PS: I know there’s so much negativity here, which is not me, not the person I used to be. That’s why: can I just skip? If you reach this sentence, thanks for reading.

[bewitching-elizabeth-olsen]

Press/Gallery: Elizabeth Olsen Is Ready to Lead the MCU

An ambitious new Disney+ series might just give the strongest Avenger the happy ending she deserves.

  GALLERY LINKS

Studio Photoshoots > 2021 > Session 001

  ELLE: We can’t keep meeting Elizabeth Olsen like this. By “this,” I mean in the throes of catastrophe or bereavement, or, to put it plainly, when she’s an emotional wreck. In the 2018 Facebook Watch drama Sorry For Your Loss, Olsen assumes the role of Leigh Shaw, a young widow grappling with the unexpected loss of her husband and all the painful nuisances that come with death: the unbearable waves of sadness, the clichéd condolences, a grief support group that runs out of donuts. At one point, Leigh says through a cracked voice, “I’m just mad all the time.” It’s hard not to draw parallels to Olsen’s other angry character. After all, “mad” is exactly how 2015’s Avengers: Age of Ultron introduced us to Wanda Maximoff.

Defined by tragedy since her Marvel debut, Wanda (aka the Scarlet Witch) is an orphan with telekinetic powers. When not saving the world, she spends most of her time onscreen grieving the deaths of her parents, twin brother, or lover. Wanda’s never been allowed to fully exist outside the confines of her grief and anger, but with the launch of WandaVision—Marvel’s foray into serialized content for streaming—she may just be getting the happy ending she deserves.

Partly inspired by The Vision comic book, which follows synthezoid superhero Vision and his family as they move to the suburbs of Washington, D.C., the Disney+ series is an ode to the TV sitcoms we’ve come to love, with Wanda and Vision (Paul Bettany) basking in newlywed bliss—except Vision’s been very dead (killed twice, in fact) since the events of 2018’s Avengers: Infinity War. It’s unclear exactly how these starcrossed characters got to suburbia, but for now, it’s a delight to see the typically solemn duo sink their teeth into slapstick comedy.

“The show is like a blank slate for them,” Olsen tells me over Zoom, her light brown fringe a departure from Wanda’s red waves. The Scarlet Witch’s doleful glare is also long gone; in its place, Olsen’s eyes are wide with excitement. “Wanda and Vision’s journey to this point is a story of pure, innocent love and deep connection with another person,” she explains. “It was also very traumatizing. Tragedy has always been their story. In our show, we kind of wipe that clean and start fresh.”

But Wanda’s complicated past looms over WandaVision. Age of Ultron saw her and her twin brother, Pietro, initially opposing the Avengers (the siblings volunteered for a series of experiments with Hydra—a super evil organization within the MCU—after the deaths of their parents at the hands of Tony Stark’s Stark Industries) before switching sides to help save the Earth. The movie ends in victory for our superheroes, but yet another tragedy for Wanda when Pietro dies in battle. She finds comfort in the arms of Vision, an android created from the remains of Tony’s J.A.R.V.I.S. program, but even that bliss is short-lived. You see, Vision can only live with the help of the Mind Stone, which Mad Titan Thanos needs to take over the universe. In Infinity War, Vision asks Wanda to sacrifice him, and Wanda reluctantly agrees—but Thanos reverses time to gain control of the stone, killing the robot for a second time. Wanda’s pain is palpable: Imagine sacrificing the love of your life to save everyone else, just to watch him brought back to life and killed again—by the very villain you’re trying to defeat.

Though the thrill of playing a character with superhuman abilities is enticing for any actress, Olsen says it was Wanda’s internal battle with mental health that attracted her to the role in the first place. “[Joss Whedon] explained to me that Wanda Maximoff has always been this pillar of the struggle of mental health, from her pain and depression and traumatic experiences to how she completely alters the reality of the comics,” Olsen says of her early conversations with the Age of Ultron director. “The thing I held onto after reading the initial script was that she was not only powerful because of her abilities, but because of her emotions.”

In fact, MCU theorists would argue she’s one of, if not the, strongest Avenger. She can infiltrate the others’ minds to reveal their biggest fears (Age of Ultron). She can overpower Vision and send him plunging through several floors to break up a fight between warring superheroes (Avengers: Civil War). She can even bring Thanos to his knees, snapping his sword in half and forcibly removing his armor piece by piece (Infinity War).

Still, “they keep slapping her over the head with more grief,” Olsen quips.

As phase one of the Marvel Cinematic Universe began with the sound of clanging metal on May 2, 2008, phase four kicked off on January 15, 2021 with a kitschy 1950s sitcom theme: “She’s a magical gal in a small town locale / he’s a hubby who’s part machine / How will this duo fit in and pull through? Oh, by sharing a love / like you’ve never seen.”

With WandaVision, Marvel steers clear of the typical superhero trappings: no destructive battles at a Berlin airport or across the streets of New York City; no blonde-haired god time-traveling to other realms; no tree-like alien fight alongside a raccoon. Wandavision takes place after the events of Endgame in a fictional suburban town called Westview, and the biggest problem the newlyweds face in the show’s opening moments is creating a convincing backstory to get nosy neighbor Agnes (Kathryn Hahn) off their backs.

“They are just trying to fit in,” Olsen explains. “They’re trying to not be found out by their neighbors that they’re super-powered beings.” Now, if only we can figure out what the hell is actually going on. Olsen remains tight-lipped: “The reason it’s a sitcom shows itself later in the show,” she hints. “When Kevin [Feige] told me, it didn’t feel so bizarre. It felt like a great way to start our story.”

“With our show, you don’t know what the villain is, or if there is one at all.”

So, is Wanda stuck in the first stage of grief, denial? Has she altered reality as a coping mechanism for Vision’s death? Is she being held hostage by a terrorist organization (ahem, Hydra!)? One thing we do know is that someone is watching the couple and taking notes. At the end of episode 1, the camera pans out from a retro TV playing an episode of WandaVision (meta!) to show a hand jotting down notes. There’s a strange sword symbol on the notebook and a nearby control board, and in episode 2, the same sign appears on a toy helicopter lodged in the couple’s front yard. Later, when a mysterious beekeeper crawls out of the sewer on the couple’s street, the symbol is seen on the back of his suit. In its 20-plus movies, Marvel villains have always existed in plain sight. But with a new, less obvious darkness lurking at every turn, Wanda may have to return to her world-saving roots.

“Someone said to me when you watch any of these hero movies, you know when the villain’s about to show themselves, and you also have an idea of who the villain is,” Olsen says. “With our show, you don’t know what the villain is, or if there is one at all.” For now, WandaVision allows for glimmers of hope and optimism for Wanda and Vision, despite what darkness tries to threaten their happiness. “Wanda is trying to protect everything in her bubble, protect what she and Vision have and this experience,” Olsen says. “I think everything she does is in response to keeping things together.”

In addition to exploding the concept of the superhero onscreen, WandaVision toys with a different era of TV in each episode. The pilot takes viewers to the ‘50s with an episode filmed in front of a live studio audience, and Wanda dresses up in the quintessential housewife garb, not a hair out of place in her voluminous bob. By the time we click on episode 2, she trades in her apron and kitten heels for a more pared-down ‘60s look, while episode 3 gives a nod to the ‘70s, complete with a Brady Bunch-style staircase and a shag haircut for Vision.

While dressing up was the fun part, time-hopping through the eras required a lot of binge-watching old sitcoms to get the mannerisms down right. Olsen studied series like The Dick Van Dyke Show, The Brady Bunch, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and Bewitched to “understand the tones of each era” and get a grasp of how Wanda and Vision should act as a couple. (One of her favorite TV pairings was Jane Kaczmarek and Bryan Cranston from Malcolm in the Middle.) She was fascinated by the way female characters evolved through the decades: “You have to learn appropriate manners—what’s considered being polite or proper. That coincides with women’s voices changing,” she explains. “I enjoyed challenging myself to match the syntax and the lyricism. I live in a very chest-register kind of deep voice. I had to remember not to bring it up at certain moments.”

For so long, Wanda served as a supporting character to Marvel’s biggest names, and the formulaic mundanity of the major theatrical releases made it easy to get comfortable. WandaVision offered Olsen a much-needed challenge. “I’ve only been working for 10 years, but there is this feeling where you start to get comfortable,” she says. “WandaVision was the furthest thing from comfortable for me. It felt intimidating. The character is a completely different thing.”

And fans hoping for a little Marvel action won’t be disappointed. “We still live up to what Marvel does,” she promises. “We just tell the story in a completely different way. It’s a very emotional, female story and it’s a story they haven’t told yet for either of our characters.” Whatever your theory is, keep the cliché condolences to yourself. No one will be uttering, “Sorry for your loss” in Wanda’s world.

Press/Gallery: Elizabeth Olsen Is Ready to Lead the MCU was originally published on Elizabeth Olsen Source • Your source for everything Elizabeth Olsen

[taeminyourmind]

A Christmas Proposal (2018) x Taemin (F)

A Christmas Love Story is a set of 8 short love-filled stories  that follows you and Taemin’s relationship through the years during Christmastime. Each story represents a new year with the series beginning in 2013 and ending in 2020.

Genre: Fluff

Summary: During a quiet night of helping Taemin decorate his Christmas tree, he ceases the moment to reveal his love for you through fond memories and proposing with his grandmother’s ring.

Pairing: Taemin x Reader

Word Count: 680+

A Christmas Love Story Masterlist: Snowmen & Hot Chocolate | Secret Santa | A Sleigh Ride Confession | You, Me & Ice Skates | Mistletoe Kisses | A Christmas Proposal | A Christmas Wedding | Baby’s First Christmas

2018

Snow softly falls over the town, blanketing every surface with white powder. The clear night sky showcases a show of dancing stars, twinkling around the main character of the moon. Against the black canvas, they shine brightly as they put on an unforgettable performance before they leave the stage to make room for the sun.

The town, quiet yet full of life, resembles a holiday town you only see in the movies. Yards of garland, multi-colored lights, and thousands of Christmas decorations hang from every building while holiday music waltzes from overhead speakers.

As the early morning hours approach, the town rests peacefully except for you and Taemin, who is gathered around a brightly lit Christmas tree with unopened boxes in front of you.

“I can’t believe I’m actually getting my tree up before Christmas this year,” Taemin says while going through a box of ornaments.

“You did volunteer to host our secret Santa this year. You know Clara would have a fit if you didn’t have a tree up.”

The sound of Taemin’s nervous chuckle grabs your attention. Your eyes squint in his direction as you watch him silently mouth something to himself, his eyes darting from one corner of the box to the other as he taps his fingers against its side. He pauses for a moment when he feels your gaze firmly pressing into his flesh.

Looking up, Taemin gives you a small smile. “I thought I lost something,” he says while rubbing the back of his neck. “I found it.”

Digging into the box, he pulls out the candy cane ornament. A smile grows on your face as its stripes of red glitter shimmers against the tree’s lights. Standing to his feet, Taemin helps you to your feet before tightly holding your hand as he places the ornament near the top of the tree. Against the forest green of the tree, the ornament’s colors boldly stand out.

“Somehow,” Taemin begins, his eyes never leaving the ornament. “I knew you were the one when we first met.”

“How?”

Taemin pauses, silently mumbling to himself before smiling. Slowly, he turns to you as his thumb caresses the top of your hand.

“When you found the crooked carrot in the basket at the snowman making competition.”

You take a moment to allow the memory to dance its way back into your mind. The sweet nostalgia attached to it brings a sense of warmth as you give him a warm gentle smile.

“Your grandmother told you the story of the carrot,” you remember.

Taemin gulps nervously and nods. “She also told me that if she passes, I could give her ring to the girl I want to marry.”

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion before it melts into surprise as Taemin slowly drops to one knee. The Christmas lights make the tears welling in his eyes resemble jewels.

“For 6 years, you’ve been the one I dreamt of. The one I think about day and night. And I don’t want to spend another Christmas not being your husband.” Taemin pauses for a second, choking back his tears while one manages to slip away and slide down your cheek. “I don’t want to spend another year dreaming of marrying you. I want you. I need you. I love you. I love you, ___. I guess that’s a lot to say, will you marry me, ___?”

Tears flow down your face as you squeeze your fingers around Taemin’s hand. “Yes. Yes! A million times, yes!”

A wide smile spreads across Taemin’s face as he slips his grandmother’s vintage emerald ring on your finger. The gold band and emerald stone comfortably rest around your finger glisten under the tree’s lights.

Immediately after slipping the ring on your finger, Taemin wraps his arms around your waist and picks you up, spinning you around before placing you softly back on the ground. Your laughter overfills his heart with joy as he leans down and presses a quick, yet passionate kiss on your lips. Gently, he rests his forehead against yours before slowly breaking the kiss and giving you a bashful smile.

“Merry Christmas, my love.”

[toplinetommy]

You Bring the Moon and Stars to Me (Part Four) - Tyson Jost

Synopsis: A Soulmate!AU where your soulmark only appears once you fall in love with your soulmate

Words: 8.9k

Warnings: tyson still aint 21 and is drinking in some parts

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

September/October 2018 - Denver, CO 

“Does Tyson know you have a boyfriend?” Caitlyn asks as you near EJ’s house. She sat next to you in the passenger seat, while her boyfriend, Josh, was in the back.

“Considering Aiden’s not my boyfriend, no.” You respond, turning right onto EJ’s street. Caitlyn shakes her head at you and you know exactly what she’s thinking since this is about the fourth time she’s brought it up.

“I just don’t get why you can’t tell Tyson you’re seeing someone, considering he’s your best friend and all.” She shrugs looking out the window at the big craftsman-style houses in the neighborhood.

“Because it’s still casual and it hasn’t really gotten brought up yet. I really don’t see the big deal.”

“The big deal is that the last time you and Tyson saw each other was at Gabe’s wedding when you guys had a moment,” She moves her hands in front of her, putting an emphasis on ‘moment’. You pull up to EJ’s house as she finishes talking, parking your car on the curb.

“It was a wedding, they’re full of ‘moments’,” You put finger quotations around moment. After the wedding, you had gone back to Denver while Tyson went back home to Alberta where you guys resumed your friendship like nothing had happened. The summer was spent with a numerous amount of FaceTime’s and sending memes to one another. Sure, the thought of kissing Tyson would occasionally pop into your head over the summer months when you especially missed him, but that’s exactly what you blamed it on. The fact that he had never brought up the almost-kiss gave you even more reason to do the same.

“I just think there’s a deeper reason why you haven’t told him that you won’t admit to yourself.” Caitlyn shakes her head as the three of you walk up the long driveway. The rest of the walk is silent until you walk in through the front door and are greeted with loud cheers at your entrance.

“Y/n Y/l/n!” Gabe cheers, lifting his arms above his head, a beer in each of his hands. You laugh at the sight and go to yell his name back to him before you notice Tyson whipping his body around at the sound of your name combined with your laugh. Tyson all about shoves his blonde captain out of the way to get to where you’re standing across the living room.

Both of his hands are also clasped around cans of beer, some of it spilling as he sets them down harshly on the nearest surface on his way to you. You shriek as he wraps his arms tightly around your torso, picking you up a few inches of the ground. He sets you down but the two of you stay joined before you’re the one to pull back from him.

“How’s my superstar been?” You ask, looking him over as you rest your hands on his biceps. He’s wearing a pair of chino shorts, his thighs filling them out from a productive summer and his biceps have a golden sheen from spending so much of his summer outside.

“Better now that I’m back in Denver,” He smiles, eyes shining as he also looks over your body. You’re sporting a pair of loosely-fit mom jeans with a scarf you wrapped around yourself as a DIY top,. Tyson looks over to Caitlyn and Jack who are standing behind you as they watch your reunion, saying hi to them. 

“So there’s stuff kind of going on everywhere. A lot of people are on the deck and in the backyard playing games or in here enjoying the AC.” He starts, pointing around to the large group of people all around your small group. “You can put your alcohol in the fridge too, there’s one in the kitchen, obviously, but if it’s full you guys can use the one in the garage.”

The three of you nod at his suggestions before he’s dragging you outside to meet the new guys that were signed over the summer. Once the two of you make your rounds you settle into lawn chairs that are placed by the firepit in the back. 

“How was your summer?” Tyson asks before bringing his beer to his lips.

“Pretty good, I actually had to work, unlike some other people I know.” You chirp, glaring at the brunette next to you in a joking manner. He rolls his eyes at your comment before you continue. “Besides, we talked like four times a week, you know how my summer was. Oh! Jack officially moved in about a month ago.”

“Oh really? I’ll have to get his number so he can hang out with the boys. Ya know, so he’s not stuck with you girls all the time.”

“Hey!” You exclaim with a spirited tone. “We’re a great time and you know it.”

“Yeah, with all your pop culture gossip and medical drama tv shows. You guys are a hoot.” He shrugs, Candian accent popping out as he speaks. He downs the remainder of the light-brown liquid in his can, before setting it down on the grass next to him.

You laugh in shock and give a shove to Tyson’s shoulder once he’s sitting straight up again, “Shut the fuck up, you know you missed it.” He coughs lightly, pretending to have choked on his beer due to your shove. 

“I’m wounded that you think I wouldn’t miss it,” Tyson brings a hand to his chest in fake distaste. His gaze turns soft as his eyes focus more on your face, his eyes slightly squinting due to the harsh sun that was beginning to set past the horizon. The freckles that had appeared on your cheeks and shoulders due to the time spent in the sun, your hair was a little lighter from getting highlights recently and it was longer than he remembered it being, and most importantly the genuine smile he missed seeing in person. “It’s always nice being able to go home and see everyone, especially being able to be on the lake. It was harder than last summer, I missed a lot of people.”

“Yeah, but you get to see people you grew up with and live a little calmer.” You respond. Tyson had always told you his favorite part about his Candian summers was the calm pace of the season, a much needed contrast to the grinding he’d put in for a majority of the year when the NHL season would come around.

“Yeah, I get to see Dante, who by the way you need to meet whenever he comes to town, and some buddies on other teams,” Tyson points out. “I don’t know, I felt like part of me stayed here in Denver. I don’t know if it was just because I missed everyone or just because it’s so different from home or what.”

You nod your head in understanding, knowing how difficult it was to leave a place you called home for more than just a week or two. “I think it’s just because you’ve established a life here. No matter how exciting or happy you are to be back home, part of you will miss where you spend most of your time.”

“And the people I spend all my time with.” He adds, gesturing to the people occupying the backyard. You glance around, noticing Nate, Tyson, and Big Z playing Spike Ball, while some of the guys and their wives sitting around the table that was on the deck. As your eyes land on where Caitlyn and Jack are standing with JT and Sydney, Tyson’s eyes land on you, thinking specifically about how good it was to be back not only in Denver but to be back where you were. Even if it was only his second season with the Avalanche, he truly felt like he had found his place in Denver, both with his hockey career and with the friends he had made.

“Josty! Y/n! We’re starting flip cup, let’s go!” JT shouts at the two of you, pulling Tyson away from his thoughts. The two of you stand up and saunter over to the large table that’s set up on the grass where a large group had formed. Before you can say you’ll be right back and that you need to get a refill, Tyson is placing his hand on the small of your back letting you know he’ll grab drinks for the both of you.

“You and Tyson look like you’ve been awfully close since we got here,” Caitlyn acknowledges, nudging your shoulder with hers.

“We’re just catching up, we haven’t seen each other since July,” You answer shortly. A few more people join around the table as the two of you speak, all grabbing solo cups and filling them up for the game. Caitlyn gives you a knowing look and before she can say what’s on her mind you stop her, “And no, I didn’t tell him about Aiden. Stop bringing it up.”

She brings her hands up in defeat, knowing that if she continues to talk about it you’ll just get angrier with him badgering. Tyson reappears next to you, Bud Light in one hand for him and an Angry Orchard in the other for you.

“I haven’t played this since that time at the hockey house senior year,” You admit to Tyson, who’s pouring his drink into his cup as you crack open yours. 

“Hopefully you’re as good as I remember.” Tyson chirps, thinking back to that night the two of you really met. With where your friendship stood now, it seemed like that day in North Dakota was ages ago.

“From what I remember - which isn’t a lot because I was blasted that night, you were terrible.” You laugh, a few of the guys on the other side of the table also laughing, hearing the chirp. 

A numerous amount of rounds pass, Tyson consistently being the reason you lose, while you were the reason your team would win. The sun’s been long gone for a while, the source of light being the decorative string lights along the deck and yard. The slight chill in the air causes most people to relocate to the kitchen and living room of the house, a few retreating to the basement to play poker or video games.

You spend most of your night near Tyson in some way, whether it be directly next to him or in the same group until he disappears to join some of the guys downstairs. The late-night starts turning into the early morning and Caitlyn and Jack are letting you know that they’re getting ready to go home.

“I’ll text you when Jack and I get home,” Caitlyn assures you as she hugs you goodbye before heading for the exit of the house. You make your way to the kitchen to switch out your now empty cider for a glass of water, choosing to f. Once you fill your glass up, you lean against the counter next to the sink and pull out your phone to see the Instagram story Caitlyn had tagged you in. It’s a Boomerang of you and her clinking your drinks in a ‘cheers’ from earlier in the night. You share it to your story as well before bringing your glass to your lips.

“Getting tired already, eh?” Tyson reappears, choosing to lean against the counter next to you. His one hand is gripping his beer as he was one of the few people still drinking at this time of night. The still moment as you laugh with a scoff before responding oddly feels like you’ve been in this exact moment once before. 

“Caitlyn just ditched me to go have sex with her boyfriend,” you answer. Your phone vibrates in your hand and you see that Aiden’s texted you back. The vibration pulls you from what felt like another world of thinking, and you unlock it pulling up your messages to respond to Aiden.

Tyson couldn’t help but notice the increase in your attention towards your phone throughout the night as you type out a response. Granted, with the time that it was, more people were seen on their phones than in groups talking or playing games. Most attendees were starting to quiet down and a few were making plans to head out. You were typing away at your phone with a small smile when Tyson interrupted you with a slight shoulder shove.

“What’s got all your attention?” Tyson asks curiously. You quickly place your phone face down on the counter beside you giving Tyson your full attention.

“No one.”

“Oh, so you got a someone then, eh?” He asks, quirking one of his eyebrows up.

“It’s just some guy.” You shrug. Some part of you still didn’t know how to bring up Aiden’s presence in your life to Tyson. Even if Tyson was just a friend to you, it still felt weird for a reason you couldn’t exactly pinpoint. 

His palms tighten against where they’re resting against the countertop the two of you are leaning back on, the joyful smile that was once on his lips disappears into one you can’t seem to read. Whether that be the alcohol you’ve consumed or just the simple fact that you’d never really seen Tyson look at you the way he was right now.

“Like a guy you’re seeing or?” 

“Like a friend I’m seeing later.” 

Tyson’s unreadable face turns into one of confusion as he mutters an ‘oh’ and looks back towards the expanse of the open kitchen in front of you two. He may not have seen you at all in the past three months from being back home, but that didn’t mean that you guys weren’t calling each other at least three times a week to catch up, so the mention of a ‘friend’ confused him. With that being said, he definitely thought that the two of you were open enough to let the other know if they were dating someone.

“His name’s Aiden, I kind of like him but we kinda just hang out at night if you know what I mean,” You spill.

Tyson swallows as he internally debates on whether or not he wants to directly ask you why you hadn’t mentioned this to him before or if he just wanted to skip over that whole part. He goes with the latter, “How long have you guys been talking?”

“Not that long, like a month?” You shrug your shoulders. Tyson doesn’t respond, partially from his slow reflexes that the alcohol in his system has caused and from the slight discomfort he felt about the news. “Oh, he’s here,” You announce as you read the text that pops up on your screen. You set your barely touched glass of water into the sink and start towards the front door. 

Tyson pushes off the counter, following close behind you, “I’ll walk you out.” And if he had wanted to do that just to get a good look at the schmuck that was picking you up, you didn’t have to know. While we’re at it, he might have also suggested it in hopes that this Aiden guy would be intimidated by a different guy walking her out. He may not have been that tall, but Tyson knew damn well he was still leaner than most guys, and he had every intention of using that to his advantage

You nod your head at Tyson, walking around the house shouting to the remaining guys that you were heading out. As you get to the entryway and find your coat, Gabe saunters over to properly say goodbye. 

“You guys heading out together?” Gabe asks, glancing between the two of you, a slight smirk forming on his lips. Tyson opens his mouth, no sound coming out at the suggestive question his captain makes.

“No, just me. My ride’s here.” You answer shortly, pulling your white sneakers on completely.

“I’m just walking her out,” Tyson says, almost as soon as you’re done speaking. Gabe nods his head in an awkward manner before turning on his heels to go back to what you assume is the group he was previously in.

You move towards the door and Tyson beats you there, even in his drunken state, and opens it for you. The two of you are greeted with none other than Aiden standing on the front porch. Tyson visibly puffs his chest out and pushes his shoulders back once he sees the man in front of him is in fact, much taller than him and very much the opposite of what he thought this guy would look like.

Aiden looks between the two of you, your body staggered right in front of Tyson’s as you say a quick ‘hey’. You turn around, going to give Tyson a side hug but he has other plans and embraces you fully. You hug him back, looking up at him getting ready to say bye when Aiden’s voice breaks your departure. 

“I didn’t know you were partying at some mansion,” Aiden says, taking his hands out of his sweat pockets to point up towards the house you were gathered in front of. Tyson loudly scoffs at the statement and rolls his eyes. He was still in the early part of his career and he still hadn’t really gotten used to the whole other people making snide remarks about his lifestyle and career. 

You pull away from Tyson, taking a step towards Aiden, “I told you I was hanging out with Tyson.” 

“Not Tyson Jost and an entire NHL roster.” 

Tyson holds back his scoff this time. He could already tell that if this guy was gonna be around much longer he was going to have to hold back making snide remarks. If he was already this intimidated and this annoyed with the group of guys you regularly hung around, he had a lot coming for him if he was planning to stick around. 

You squeeze his bicep with one of your hands, choosing to not respond to Aiden’s comment. “I’ll see you on opening night?”

“Yeah, you will,” Tyson answers, smile starting to come back to his face. You nod your head and turn around to head towards Aiden’s still running car at the end of the driveway.

--

The energy at the Pepsi Center was electric, to say the least, and the city of Denver was excited to have hockey back. Especially after a disappointing first-round exit in the playoffs in late April. You had kept up slightly with the off-season news - mainly due to Caitlyn’s interest - and knew that they would have high expectations with the new additions to the team. 

Caitlyn was adorning her MacKinnon jersey that she had owned ever since he was drafted while you sported the #17 on your back per Tyson’s request. He always joked about how you were one of the few people that even had his jersey due to his younger age to which you always scoffed and called him a superstar despite only being in his second year.

Your small group consists of Aiden, Caitlyn, her boyfriend, Jack, and yourself. The four of you had all decided to get tickets yourself and make it a sort of ‘double-date’ as Caitlyn described it. Jack wasn’t a huge hockey fan, but he was a huge fan of Caitlyn so he had borrowed one of Tyson’s hoodies to wear since they were a similar size. Aiden was what he liked to call ‘an average hockey fan’ since he knew a lot about his hometown Avalanche team and the big names of the NHL, while not knowing much about anything else. 

The four of you stopped to get drinks before heading to your seats in the mid-level section. With it being the opening night of the new season, tickets were more expensive than usual so you had all opted for cheaper seats to save money. Besides, the four of you were planning on joining the team’s festivities after the game when they headed downtown to their usual post-game bars.

The game flew by, the Avs coming out with a 4-1 win. The dominant win only contributed to the already high level of buzz in the arena and the surrounding areas. The four of you took your time exiting the arena and heading downtown, knowing that the guys you were meeting up with wouldn’t be out for at least another hour. You guys had carpooled to the game so the four of you all jump into Caitlyn’s SUV before she drives down to the parking lot she usually parked in on nights out.

By the time some of the guys make it to the bar, the four of you alongside some other WAG’s reserved a section in the back corner for the large group. Cheers erupt as they all enter, a way of saying congrats to a great win to start off the season. Everyone greets one another before everyone starts to disperse slightly to get their own alcoholic beverages.

“You remember Aiden,” You shout to Tyson over the loud bass, resting your palm on Aiden’s chest. 

“What’s up, man?” Tyson greets. He goes to shake Aiden’s hand which Aiden happily does, however, Aiden keeps his other arm around your shoulders making sure you stay tucked into his side.

“You guys had a great game,” You complement with a smile towards Tyson. His eyes are bright, and his cheeks are full as he opens his mouth getting ready to respond when Aiden makes a comment you wish he hadn’t.

“Sucks you had that penalty, though.”

Tyson grinds his jaw as opposed to making a rude comment. If Tyson really wanted to be petty - and he really did; then he would’ve made some comment about how he made more in one 60 minute game than he probably did in a month. You squeeze his hand that’s moved to your hip in annoyance, glancing up at him with a look that screamed ‘why the fuck did you say that’.

“I’m gonna go get a drink,” Tyson announces, turning around on his heel and making his way towards the bar. You watch his body movement as he walks away, noting how nicely his grey slacks and jacket combo fit him. 

“Why did you say that?” You turn towards Aiden, hissing up at him. “You don’t think that people already told him about his mistake? Ya know, like people that actually know what they’re talking about?”

“I know what I’m talking about,” He says easily, taking a sip from his IPA.

“Just leave it to the people that actually breathe hockey for a living. It was a rude comment to make, especially to my friend.” You say, continuing to look up to his face sternly. His face falters a little bit to an apologetic look before he says he’s sorry. Tyson reappears a few minutes later, joining you, Aiden, Caitlyn, Jack, JT, and Sammy. Instead of him coming back up to you directly, he steps to the side and jumps into conversation with Jack.

Caitlyn moves closer to you and Aiden, “So Tyson’s met Aiden then.” You nod your head at her in answer, sipping on your margarita as she gives a knowing look. The subject of their meeting just as quickly as it gets brought up and everyone starts talking about the game and how excited they are for the season. Anyone could tell - and especially the people that were around the team like you guys were; that the chemistry of this roster was something special.

JT comes up to a little while later, ditching Tyson and some of the other guys at the table, “So this is the new guy, huh?” He asks, his hand holding his beer pointing at the guy you had been attached to all evening.

“Yep,” You smile excitedly. “This is Aiden, Aiden this is JT. He lives with Tyson and Kerfy, who you haven’t met yet. Speaking of Kerfy, is he around?”

“Nah, he went back to the house after to see his girl,” JT answers smoothly. “When are you guys coming over? I always see your car over at Caitlyn’s but you haven’t stopped by at ours since we’ve been back. Come to think of it, I’ve barely seen you since Landy’s wedding even though I’ve been in and out of town since then.” JT takes a large swig of his beer, seemingly finishing it as he rests it on the nearest surface.

Before you can muster up an excuse about being busy with work, Aiden’s face flashes in confusion. “You live close to each other or something?”

“They all live across the street from Caitlyn, I thought I told you that when I told you how I knew everyone,” You knit your eyebrows in confusion turning back towards Aiden. Aiden’s confused face relaxes a little, thinking back to what was probably the third time you guys hung out when you had finally decided to tell him you knew a large portion of the Colorado Avalanche.

You notice a movement at the table most of your friends are sitting at, and watch Tyson as he stands up from the booth he’s at as he makes his way over to three of you, jumping into the conversation. His cheeks have a slight pinkness to them and the top few buttons of his shirt have been unbuttoned. 

“So, Aiden, what do you do?”

“I manage a construction company out in Aurora,” He answers, his voice booming over the surrounding sounds. “I’m thinking of getting my masters in business administration, but I haven’t made a decision yet.”

Tyson nods his head, being somewhat intimidated by Aiden’s expanse of education, something he clearly lacked. JT asks him where he got his undergrad, Aiden answering him, and saying he went to Michigan State.

“Oh, no way! I went to Michigan.” JT smiles, which you mirror. You’re happy that someone seems to finally be taking an interest in Aiden and your relationship with him. The two of them banter about which school is truly better, and you hold back your opinion not knowing much about either school.

Both you and Tyson stand quietly, listening to JT and Aiden talk about the MSU/Michigan rivalry. JT asked about what it was like at MSU and Aiden had asked him about what it felt like to be a D1 athlete at arguably one of the biggest schools in the country. As Tyson listens he can’t help but notice Aiden’s empty hand and how it’s placed on your stomach, holding you back close to him. You notice Tyson’s eyes turn a little darker and his hand tighten around his glass as the two of them speak, especially when he sees Aidens hand flex where it’s placed against your stomach and you get a sudden wave of claustrophobia and shove his hand off of you and instead choose to interlock your fingers with his. Aiden shoots you a small look of confusion before you interrupt.

“I’m gonna go get another drink, I’ll be right back.” You announce, completely slipping our of Aiden’s grasp. The sudden feeling of heaviness surrounds you as you head towards the back bar, fully intending to order just water and calm your now ragged breathing. As you approach the bar counter and set your elbows on the slightly sticky surface, you turn your head to the group of guys you just left. You look at Tyson, the shortest in the group start taking a few steps in your general direction before Aiden places his hand on Tyson’s shoulder, harshly moving past him.

“You okay?” Aiden asks as he approaches you.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you let out. “I just got really claustrophobic out of nowhere, it’s probably the alcohol.” It’s not completely a lie, you did start feeling overcrowded, but it most definitely was not the alcohol’s fault. If you really thought about it, you were probably the most sober person in your immediate group. 

“If you want to leave we can head out, I don’t mind,” Aiden suggests, placing his hands steadily on your hips. You lean up to him to give him a quick kiss on the lips before nodding your head no.

“We can have another drink, then leave. Sound good?” You muse. Aiden nods his head in response, ordering both of you new drinks before you head back over to your group. You notice an empty spot in the booth next to Tyson and decide to snag it, pulling Aiden by his hand to stand next to you.

“What are you drinking?” You ask leaning into Tyson’s ear.

“A rum and coke,” He answers turning to look at you, not missing where your hand is joined with Aiden’s. “So you guys, like, official now or something?”

You look up at Aiden before answering, who seems to be lost in doing something on his phone, “Yeah.”

Tyson nods his head in response, taking a large gulp of his drink. He stays quiet as he takes in the piece of new information, processing it all. The moments from Gabe’s wedding when he almost kissed you flashes through his mind before he takes his free hand and rubs it along his face. He moves his hand to his lap, preoccupying the other with the thin, black straw in his glass.

“He’s really great and I think you guys will get along,” You start in an attempt to fill in the silence. “We can all try to hang out sometime soon so you guys can get properly introduced.”

“That sounds great, YY/n,” Tyson says, eyes locked on the glass in front of him. There’s little emotion in his tone as he speaks and you start to wonder if you did something wrong. Before you can ask if everything’s okay with him, he moves abruptly,

“I’m gonna go get a refill.”

You stand up, moving out of the way so he can stand up and head to the bar and you look at his glass on the table that’s close to full in confusion. You sit back down on the cushion of the booth, pulling Aiden next to you as you watch Tyson move through the crowd. He goes in the exact opposite direction of the bar which has you knitting your eyebrows, and walks up to a girl you don’t think he knows by the looks of him introducing himself. You watch their encounter from afar, head resting on Aiden’s shoulder.

As the pair continues to talks, you look around for your immediate friend group, finding Caitlyn and Jack at the end of the bar closest to you and Aiden,

“I actually think I’m ready to go now,” You move your head from off of Aiden’s shoulder, placing your hand there instead. “You order the Uber and I’m gonna go say bye to Caitlyn and Jack.” 

“Aiden and I are gonna head out,” You shout over the music. “Let me know when you guys leave and get home!”

“Of course, everything okay though? I feel like I haven’t seen you all night and when I did you seemed distant.”

“Yeah, just some anxiety,” You excuse, your gaze still heavily following on Tyson and his new friend. Caitlyn notices your distant stare and follows it, letting out a large sigh at the sight. If anyone in the bar was as close to you as she was, they too would notice the invisible lasers from your eyes to the second-year hockey player across the room. 

You guys exchange silent looks before you wrap your arms around her, hugging her goodbye. “Lunch tomorrow, yeah?” You say pulling away.

“Sure, let me know when you guys get back. Love you.”

December 2018/January 2019 - Denver, CO

Walking up the snow-covered sidewalk to the Rookie House, trying to keep your balance as you hold two hot cups of coffee in both hands. Once you reach the front door, you grasp both cups in one hand, knocking on the door with the other. Tyson swings it open a movement later, a large smile on his face and making grabby hands at the coffee.

“Here’s your coffee,” you say, handing over both cups to him as you move to take off your shoes. You sigh out, “Wow, I feel like I haven’t been over here in ages.” Tyson had been out of town briefly for a game in St. Louis then had a string of back-to-backs all weekend so the two of you hadn’t seen each other much recently.

“Because we only see each other when we’re out or in group settings it seems,” Tyson responds as the two of you make way to his kitchen. If it weren’t for his playfully light tone combined with the small smile on his face as he looked at you, you’d think he was making some sort of accusation. “Thanks for the coffee, how much was it? I’ll Venmo you.” 

“You don’t need to Venmo me, Tyson. It isn’t a big deal.” You assure, taking a seat at one of the barstools at the kitchen island.

He grabs his phone from where it’s resting on the white counter in front of him, starting to tap away at the phone screen while he responds, “And it’s not a big deal for me to Venmo you.”

You roll your eyes at his playful response, “I’ll just send it back to you.”

“And I’ll just send it right back, two can play this game,” Tyson smirked. He sets his phone down, not bothering to Venmo you, knowing that you will in fact turn it into a war where the two of you are sending the same $4 back to one another until one of you gives up.

“What have you been up to? I feel like we haven’t had a best friend heart-to-heart in a while.” You start. You tuck one leg underneath you on the counter checking your Apple Watch as it vibrates. Ignoring the notification from Aiden you turn and smile towards Tyson’s standing figure across the island from you.

“Good, good. The team’s been rolling lately and the guys can definitely feel it in the air. I’ve honestly been having so much fun playing with them day in and day out.” He rambles, a smile on his face as he talks about arguably his favorite thing in the world. “Enough about hockey though, I already talk about 99% of the time. I’ve been learning some new stuff on my ukelele, I’m officially up to knowing four songs now.” He laughs lightly and smiles a little wider. He’s leaning over the island making the two of you seem closer than what you actually are.

“That’s awesome!” You exclaim, wrapping your hands around your coffee. “Do you bring it on the road with you? I can’t remember if you ever told me.”

“I did on our east coach trip last week, actually. I didn’t play it as much as I thought I would so I’m not sure if I’ll do it again,” He shrugs.

“Yeah, and it’s probably not the most ideal item to travel with,” You reason, shrugging at the idea of traveling with a musical instrument.

“What’s been up with you?”

“The usual, working a lot, spending a lot of time with Aiden, Caitlyn and Jack too.” You start, a smile making its way on to your face thinking of all the quality time you’ve spent with those closest to you recently. The smile falters as you look towards Tyson, who seems to have a distant look on his face when you mention those names. “I’ve been really happy lately, but I feel like we don’t talk that much anymore, which needs to change.” 

“How about this: once a week we’ll have that conversation. We’ll just talk about anything and everything that’s on our minds and take time to just be heard.”

“Mark me down in your calendar then, once a week, Tys,” You agree, looking over at him. He could see the happiness on your face, even though your previous smile had faltered. He could see the gleam in your eyes that you always seemed to get when you talked about the ones you cared most for. He smiles too at the thought that you guys would officially get back to what was considered as part of your normal routine. He considered asking further about yours and Aiden’s relationship before he finally pulled the trigger, knowing it was polite to do even though he didn’t necessarily want to know the details of your guys’ relationship.

“How have you and Aiden been?” Tyson straightens, putting more physical distance between the two of you as he asks about your relationship.

“I met his family over the weekend.” You start. Your eyes are locked on the movement of your fingers playing with the sleeve on your coffee out of nervousness as you bring up the news to Tyson. You know Tyson wasn’t the biggest fan of him, even though it may not have been obvious to everyone since he was still always so friendly around him.

“Really?” Tyson inquires. 

“Yeah, we went to his parent’s house for dinner on Sunday, it was nice.” You answer thinking back to what you would consider the next step in your relationship with Aiden. “I think they liked me.”

“That’s good, eh?” 

“Yeah,” you say slowly. “I don’t know. It just kinda felt weird, like I felt welcome and all, but I just felt like the vibes were off on my end. Someone made a comment that kind of stuck with me.”

Tyson raises his eyebrows in question, urging you to go on.

“I was coming back from the bathroom and I heard his mom and him talking about how if he thought I was his soulmate.”

“Oh? What did he say?” Tyson asked, tensing up in his seat. He too started fidgeting with the coffee in front of him as you continued to speak.

“He said he thinks I could be the one yeah.” You let out, a large sigh following. Silence surrounds both of you as Tyson takes in what he just heard come out of your mouth. You and Aiden had only been official for what some people would consider a short three months, so it was a lot for you to even take in when he had said that to you.

“C’mon y/n, you can’t seriously think that Aiden of all people is your soulmate,” Tyson suggested with a scoff as he moved to sit on the barstool next to yours, foregoing the cup of coffee on the other side of the island.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” You bite, snapping your head to look at Tyson as he folds one of his legs underneath him. The casualness of his tone and his body posture only makes you angrier with his accusation.

“He’s clearly not your soulmate. Your soulmate isn’t supposed to constantly ask you to change or get annoyed by your quirks. He doesn’t like any of the guys on the team who are some of your closest friends! He’s insecure and is always bringing your energy down when he’s around.” He exclaims, his voice rasing as he continued to ramble.

“No, fuck this, I came over here to hang out with you because I haven’t seen you in a while, not for you to shit-talk my boyfriend. You’re just too immature to understand all of this and how important it is to me.” You say, shaking your head looking at him in disbelief at where all of this is coming from. 

Not even a sliver of silence is allowed between the two of you before he speaks, “I’m just trying to get you to see what literally everyone around you sees! No one thinks he’s good for you.” His voice only continuing to rise as the words feel like they’re cutting you open with how harsh he’s speaking. You’re pretty sure this is the first time you’ve heard him use the tone he’s using to not only you but to anyone.

“Oh, good, well I’m glad everyone is going around my back to talk about my personal relationship and how they feel about it. That’s great, Tyson.” You throw your hands up in the air, before rubbing your face with them.

“Y/n, I didn’t mean it like-“

“If you didn’t mean it you wouldn’t have said it. Simple as that.” You affirm, lowering your voice as you stand up from the island. You grab your phone and your keys, heading for the door while Tyson is still in shock at your abrupt movements. He snaps out of it as he hears the rustling of the nylon on your winter coat as you pull your arms through it. You hear the harsh slide of the barstool across the hardwood floor as he takes long strides over to you.

“Do you love him?” Tyson asks in a soft but still firm manner, his facial features relaxing a little. It’s a simple yet loaded question that really makes you think as you take a step out of the front door. With one foot on the welcome mat and one hand on the outside doorknob, you glance at Tyson once more. Instead of answering him, or even saying anything that closely resembles a goodbye, you turn around and start walking down the sidewalk to your car. 

As you step into your car, you glance back up at the front door, noticing Tyson still standing in the open doorway. Both of you are frozen for a moment and you see him scratch relentlessly at his arm before you take your eyes away from him and fully enter your car. You could hear the faint sound of the front door slamming before you turned your keys in the ignition and started heading home.

--

Do you even love him?

The question lingered heavily in your head ever since Tyson asked you that when you guys last talked. The question felt even heavier as you sat on your couch next to Aiden, the two of you eating Chinese take-out and catching up on The 100. You had felt content with him this whole relationship, and as you thought deeper you realized that was all you felt. Content with your relationship and the attention that came along with it.

He noticed the blank stare that was on your face as you continued to push the mixture of rice, broccoli, and chicken around on your plate. Aiden moved to place his hand on your sweatpant covered knee to grab your attention to which caused you to snap your head in his direction.

“You good?” Aiden swallows. “You’ve had this blank stare for at least, like, five minutes.”

You bring your fork up to your, eating a mouthful of rice before you set your full plate on the coffee table with a ‘clink’. You maneuver your body into the corner of your couch so you’re body is facing his. 

“Do you love me? Or like, are you falling in love with me?” You ask, deciding to be straight forward to avoid as little confusion as possible. 

“Why are you even asking me that?” He asks in an accusatory tone. He mirrors your previous actions and sets his plate on the table next to yours. “I just took you to meet my family last week, why wouldn’t I think this is where this relationship is going.”

“I just feel like that’s not where I see it going.” You admit. Aiden stares at you, dumbfounded by your sudden admission feeling. His mouth is slightly agape, not knowing exactly what to say before his upper torso stiffens. “I was just thinking and I just feel stagnant with where our relationship is and I’m sorry to say it but I don’t think I’ll fall in love with you.

“Is this because of Tyson?” Aiden accuses, questioning the real reasoning behind this conversation.

“What? No!” You exclaim, shocked by the accusation. He knew the two of you were best and friends and knew the history of your relationship with him. You had no idea where the accusation was coming from and before you could ask, Aiden stands from his spot on the couch.

“You clearly don’t see it then, but okay.” Aiden closes, grabbing his jacket from the back of the couch and shrugging it on before walking out of your apartment with a light slam of the door.

You stand there for a few more minutes, taking in all that had just happened, and taking in the sight of his half-eaten Chinese. You’re not really sure what to do, and you’re not entirely sure you should feel this normal after breaking up with someone. Pulling out your phone, you check the time before deciding on calling Caitlyn. She picks up on the second ring with a cheery hello before you start.

“Aiden and I just broke up.” You state simply, little to no emotion laced in your tone. 

“What? Are you okay?” She asks in shock.

“Yeah, I guess,” You start. You put the phone on speaker before setting it down on your kitchen table and start picking at your nails. “Can I be honest?”

“Of course.”

“The second he walked out of the door I wanted to call Tyson, no offense, but I haven’t talked to him since our fight the other day.” You admit, biting on your cuticles.

“Y/n,” She says, dragging out your name.

“Can I come over?” You ask, already going over to put your shoes on.

You arrive at Caitlyn’s house not too long later, letting yourself in and dropping to her couch with a loud groan. ”I’m so over this whole finding your soulmate thing.” Caitlyn laughs, walking into the living room from her kitchen, bottle of tequila in one hand, and a mixer in the other for you. She hands both to you as you take a pull from the tequila before taking a large sip from the mixer.

“Is it bad that I wanted to talk to Tyson the second Aiden left?”

“Uhm, I don’t think so,” She starts to reason. “I mean, he’s one of your best friends. I think it’s pretty similar to you calling me.” 

“I guess,” you softly respond. You clasp your hands in your lap, picking at your cuticles, pondering the events of the past hour. “Whenever Tyson had asked me if I loved Aiden, the question hadn’t left my brain, and honestly, I’m really glad he did ask me.” Caitlyn chooses not to respond, instead staying quiet and letting you say anything that’s on your mind

“Before he left he said I don’t see it with Tyson?” You ask, infliction in your voice. “Do you know what that even means?” 

Caitlyn thinks as to what Aiden could have possibly meant by the statement. She clearly has an idea as her face twists in what seems to be confusion. Her mouth opens and closes before she finally speaks, “I think that it could mean a lot of different things, but you need to figure out what it means on your own. Have you talked to Tyson since you guys got into that fight last week?” 

“He texted me and apologized and I said I was sorry for just walking out on him like that, but other than that, no. I miss him.” Suddenly, the emotions you lacked feeling in the span of the last hour came flooding to you and your eyes glossed over at the thought that the last time you saw Tyson you yelled at him. You sniffle, trying to hold back the actual act of crying and Caitlyn scootches her body closer to yours. She wraps her arm around your shoulders and you rest your head on her shoulder. At the very moment you open your mouth, a sob comes out of your mouth instead of words. 

“I haven’t watched any of his games and I’ve been looking at his stats and he’s been playing like shit.” You let out through the break-in your cries.

“Oh, y/n, you know you’re not the reason behind that. I watched some of the games and the whole team hasn‘t been playing very well, not just him.” Caitlyn assures you while moving her hand up and down your shoulder in comfort. “Why don’t you call him when his game ends. He’s in Ottawa, yeah? They’re two hours ahead so you’ll still be up.”

By the time the game ends - and when your eyes are dry, the Avalanche lose to Ottawa 5-2 and you give it about another hour before you check Tyson’s location on Find My Friends to see if he’s at the hotel. You see that he’s there and you pull up his contact, thumb hovering over the call button.

“You got it, Y/n, there’s nothing to be nervous about,” Caitlyn reassures you. “Do you want me to stay or leave the room?”

You let her know she’s good to leave and do her own thing and you press the call button, bringing the phone up to your ear. To your surprise, the line only rings once before you hear the click on Tyson answering.

“Hey,” You say softly, breathing out a huge sigh of relief now that you’ve gotten this far.

“Hey, I’m sorry-” 

“No, I’m the one that should be sorry, Tyson,” You interrupt.

“I’m sorry too, but it’s the past now, yeah?”

“I am though, sorry. Me walking out like that wasn’t right and calling you immature was even worse. You’re the exact opposite and I hope you know that. You were just trying to help me see what everyone else saw, and I get that now.” You admit. Your anxiety about the situation starts to ease a little bit as you get the apology off your chest.

“I forgive you. I’m sorry I just yelled at you of nowhere, it was unnecessary,” Tyson also apologizes. “Wait, what do you mean you get that now?”

“Oh, uh, Aiden and I broke up,” You answer. “Today, actually.”

“I’m sorry,” Tyson responds softly.

“Don’t be. You were right, I didn’t love him and I didn’t see myself ever loving him.” You answer with a shrug. You feel much lighter now that you’re saying all of this out loud for the second time and especially feeling better now that you’re talking to your best friend.

“It still sucks.” He mutters back. The line goes quiet for a bit, the only sound either one of you can hear is the scratchy breathing through the phone. “I missed you.” He admits, breaking the silence.

Just with that statement, you can feel yourself get emotional all over again, your previously dry eyes turning glossy again. “I missed you,” You hiccup.

“Hey, are you crying?” Tyson asks, sitting up further in his hotel bed.

“No,” you lie, wiping away at the few tears that and running down your cheeks.

“Don’t do that,” He says, and you can picture him scrunching his eyebrows together as he speaks. You let out a breath and smile a true, genuine smile, for probably the first time in at least a week. “I’m actually really glad you called. I needed to talk to you.”

You hum in question at his statement, urging him to go on.

“So, I’ve been playing like a literal pile of dog shit lately and before you interrupt me to tell me I’m not, don’t. I’m playing terribly.” He starts, and you’re pretty confused as to where this conversation is headed. “I, uh, got pulled aside after the game. I’m getting sent down to the AHL when we get back to Denver.”

“Oh my god, Tyson,” You respond in surprise, voice barely above a whisper. Your body jolts to the edge of the couch to sit straight up as you bring your free hand to cover your mouth in shock.

“It’s okay, it happens to a lot of young guys. I just have to go down there and work my ass off to be brought back up.” Tyson says, but you

“Still, that’s a lot to take in. Do you know how long you’ll be there?”

“No, coach said he thinks I’ll be back soon as long as I can prove myself to be a higher caliber player,” He continues. “Our team’s in Loveland, too, so I’ll be able to still stay at my house. I'll just have to commute more.” The uncertainty in his voice makes you anxious, and you know that he’s more upset with himself than he’s letting on.

“Like I always say, you’re a superstar and everyone knows it. You’ll be back in no time.” You assure him as you relax back into the couch. 

“Thanks, y/n, I appreciate you being here for me. It means a lot.”

“Of course,” You smile, silence falls between the two of you again and you hear him yawn on the other side of the phone. “I’ll let you get some sleep, Goodnight Tys.”

“I’ll see you when I get back, right?” 

“Of course, love you.” 

“Goodnight, y/n, love you.” He responds, the simple phrase causing your smile to widen and butterflies to appear in your stomach. You were happy you had your best friend back.

tag list: @REAVENEDGES-LIES @oilers2997​ (if you want to be added just let me know)

[bananaofswifts]

PARK CITY, Utah —  

When it comes to pop stars, Taylor Swift isn’t the most forthcoming. While her fans love to read into her every song lyric, she never actually reveals who her music is about. Unlike Miley Cyrus or Lady Gaga, her social media presence is pretty demure, mostly reserved for photos of her cats and promotional material.

So when it was announced that Swift had agreed to be the subject of a new Netflix documentary, we couldn’t wait to see what — if any — candid details she’d disclose in “Miss Americana,” which begins streaming Jan. 31 on Netflix. We went to the Sundance Film Festival premiere of the movie on Thursday, and took notes on all the doc’s biggest revelations.

1. She struggled with an eating disorder

In New York City, the outside of Swift’s apartment — her “front yard,” as she calls it — is permanently surrounded by paparazzi ready to snap photos of her to sell to tabloids. But in “Miss Americana,” the singer acknowledges that she’ll no longer look at the images posted of her online daily. “I tend to get triggered by something — whether it’s a picture of me where I feel like my tummy looked too big, or someone said that I looked pregnant or something — and that will trigger me to just starve a little bit. Just stop eating.”

Swift goes on to reveal that she struggled with an eating disorder for years, often feeling as if she was going to pass out during her concerts. She made a list of everything she put in her mouth each day, exercised constantly and got down to a size double zero. (She’s now a size six, she says.)

“I would have defended it to anybody who said ‘I’m concerned about you,’” she says. “I don’t think you know you’re doing that when you’re doing it gradually. There’s always some standard of beauty that you’re not meeting. Because if you’re thin enough, then you don’t have that ass that everybody wants, but if you have enough weight on you to have an ass, then your stomach isn’t flat enough,” she says. “It’s all just [expletive] impossible.”

Now, whenever she has the urge to judge her body harshly, she practices positive self-talk: “Nope. We don’t do that anymore. We do not do that anymore because it’s better to think you look fat than to look sick.”

2. She wishes she’d spoken out against Donald Trump during the 2016 election

After years of keeping her political beliefs to herself for fear of isolating her fan base, Swift first voiced support for a candidate during the 2018 midterms. The film shows her weighing whether or not to speak out against Republican Senate Candidate Marsha Blackburn, and those closest to her fret that it will put her in physical danger.

During a heated family discussion, her father points out that old-school performers like Bing Crosby and Bob Hope never talked about politics. Swift, her eyes filling with tears, tells him she’s “sad” she didn’t publicly oppose Trump two years ago. “But I can’t change that,” she says. “I need to do this. I need you to, dad, to forgive me for doing it — because I’m doing it.”

Just as she’s about to press send on an Instagram post about Blackburn, her team is still concerned about the impact. Her publicist warns Swift that “the president could come after you.” “[Screw] that,” Swift replies. “I don’t care.”

3. She used to live her life to be liked

As a kid, Swift says, she kept stacks of journals. But she didn’t just write in them with sparkly gel pens. At one point, she used an actual brass quill and ink.

And what did she use the antiquated writing tool for? To write about her “moral code” — “the need to be thought of as good.”

“It was all I wrote about. It was all I wanted,” she admits in the movie. “It was the complete and total belief system I subscribed to as a kid.”

She lived for “pats on the head,” she says — any praise that she was doing a good job on her homework or her songwriting. She only found fulfillment through external approval, and subsequently became “the person who everyone wanted me to be.”

That’s why public criticism — She’s annoying! She’s gone through so many boyfriends! She’s only friends with models! — has been difficult for her to overcome.

“When people decided I was wicked and evil and conniving and not a good person, that was the one that I couldn’t really bounce back from,” she says, “because my whole life was centered around it.”

4. Her sexual assault court battle changed her irrevocably

In 2015, Colorado disc jockey David Mueller sued Swift, claiming he lost his radio station job after her security team accused him of groping the singer. Swift countersued, alleging assault and detailing the inappropriate touching. She won and was awarded the amount she sought: $1 in damages. But the emotional impact the verdict had on her was far more consequential.

“I was unspeakably and unchangeably different after the sexual assault trial,” Swift says in the film. “No man, or organization, or my family, will ever understand what that was like.”

Despite winning the case, Swift said she didn’t feel any sense of victory “because the process is so dehumanizing.” And in her situation, she had seven witnesses and a photo backing up her claim. “What happens when you get raped and it’s your word against his?” she asks.

5. She was attracted to Joe Alwyn because of his ‘wonderful, normal, balanced kind of life’

Swift has dated a handful of famous men — Jake Gyllenhaal, Harry Styles, Tom Hiddleston — who have also made their way into her music. But when she started dating actor Joe Alwyn in late 2016, she liked that he had more of a “wonderful, normal, balanced kind of life.” His vibe put her at ease during a difficult time in her life, she said, when she was facing Kanye West-fueled backlash. (Remember the “I made that bitch famous” line from his 2016 jam “Famous”? Yeah, it was about her.)

Alwyn barely appears in the documentary, though. At one point, she kisses his hand during a car ride. She also runs into his arms after a concert, and the couple sweetly drape their arms over each other’s shoulders as they wander around backstage.

6. She didn’t try a burrito until she was 26

Just as she’s about to turn 29, Swift sits in the record studio reflecting on what the age signifies. There’s a part of her, she admits, that isn’t ready to have kids — for “all this grown up stuff.” Heck, she points out, she just tried a burrito for the first time two years ago. Which means that Taylor Swift did not eat a wondrous mix of meat, cheese, beans, rice, guacamole and sour cream until she was apparently 26 years old. Process that.

7. She’s not ready for kids yet

While Swift takes excellent care of her feline children — she even feeds one at her dinner table as she eats alongside the animal — she isn’t ready for kids of her own just yet. At 29, she says, part of her feels “57 years old” — but another part is “definitely not ready to have kids.” Case in point? She recalls visiting a friend who just had a baby and hearing how the newborn’s schedule consists of sleeping, eating, and being changed. Swift’s response? “So it’s like a Tamagotchi,” she says with a smile.