#i forgot to size down Emily lmao

[lilithsterrarium]

After that little warm up i finally feel like i can write again lmao. Time to follow up on that concept i said i would after um. 5 days? So sorry. Anyway, heres the story i promised about a cruel owner using a 1 year probationary period to break a rebellious <

Emily hadnt deserved to be shrunk. She never figured out how it happenned, whether it was the random event that sometimes struck (it was rare these days but it happenned), or someone slipped her a pill as a prank. However it happened, she had been shrunk, and her life had been hell ever since. She knew she deserved better.

At first she hoped to get it reversed, but quickly found she needed an owner to approve it. In the words of the receptionist, "Fuck off, incon. Choices are for real people."

Her next idea turned out to be her biggest mistake. Emily got involved with MRAU- Micro Rights Activists United. Finally, she started to have hope! In the organization meetings, finally people who saw sense! Who didnt think micros should be treated this way! Things were good for a glorious week, and she almost forgot that the world no longer saw her as a person. She decided to attend a rally.

Everything went wrong day of. Within ten minutes of the rally starting, the normal sized attendees had been intimidated into fleeing and every micro in attendance was in a cage, heading to their new home.

Within a week of being captured, Emily considered killing herself a dozen times, and attempted it twice. Her new owner had a whole collection of dozens of incon sluts, each thoroughly broken, docile, and obedient. And he had ordered all of them to help break her. But to one, his favorite, and Emily's new mortal enemy, he gave a special order. "Lilith, make sure the new toy stays alive. I want her broken, not useless." And so even death held no respite for her.

After months of unending torture, she got a ray of hope. Her owner (she still refused to call him master, no matter what he did) told her he had gotten bored. "A toy that i cant properly play with is no fun. So we are taking you to the Human-Micro Relations Office. You are getting your personhood back. Congratulations."

She didnt believe it until she was back in her own body, standing tall once again. It felt so good. But the receptionist interrupted her reverie with a question, directed at the man she so despised: "And where would you like the mark, sir?"

"What?" Emily interjected?

The receptionist shot her a familiar look of disgust. "Incons stay on probation for a year before they het their rights as a real human back. They get the mark of a lesser to identify them, which fades after the year passes".

"I dont really care, put it on her tit i guess," the man says callously.

And just like that, she had her freedom.

1 month. She can't stop looking over her shoulder. She fears if he sees her he will revoke her personhood again.

2 months. She moves across the country. A change of scenery. Away from the memories.

3 months. She has a job at a small coffee shop. She had to beg the manager to hire a probationary incon, and he calls her into the back closet to perform "favors" for him or get fired. But it pays the rent for a studio apartment, barely.

5 months. She tries to date a guy who is a regular at the coffee shop. 3 dates in, she goes back to his place. As soon as he sees the tattoo, he kicks her out without ceremony. "Cant believe ive been dating a bug" he mutters as he slams the door behind her.

8 months. No more dating, but she has friends, goes to parties, finally is enjoying life again. Only 4 months left and she can report her perv manager and take his job, everyone at the store knows shes the best worker there.

11 months, 28 days. 2 days left, the mark is barely visible. She stopped counting down the days a few months ago, but she has day 365 marked on her calendar.

11 months, 29 days. A knock on the door late at night. Groggily, she staggers to the door. Another knock, more insistent. "Im coming, just a minute!"

A third knock, and a shout:

"H.M.R.O. Collections! Your owner has decided not to allow you personhood, and you will be taken to the nearest facility to be re-shrunk!" She freezes, paralyzed with fear. A few more hours abd she would have been safe. "You have twenty seconds before we are authourized to break in!"

She stands there, sobbing, as four men in tactical gear break through her door, and rush her. One tackles her, another presses a rag to her face. The chloroform knocks her out in seconds. By the time she wakes up, she is back in the cage. Half the micros that were here last time are gone, replaced with unfamiliar faces. She doesnt even want to know what happened to them.

Her 2nd worst tormentor lilith, sees her wake up, and brightly exclaims "Welcome back! I knew you would rejoin us at your proper place eventually. Master never actually lets a toy leave alive, after all."

The aforementioned master soon comes into the room. "Welcome back, toy. Did you honestly believe I would let you become a person again? God, you areally are a brainless incon if you fell for that. How did it feel to be that close to freedom? Its the last time you will ever feel it again."

As ger hope dissolves, she realized it was all an illusion. Her job. Her friends. Her home. Her life. They had all been a sham, to show her how little control she had. She sobbed as she finally broke, "im s-sorry, m-m-master. Ill never think of disobeying again"

HHHGGGHGHHGBVDHZHS OH MY GOD THIS ONE IS REALLY GOOD MMVJDHCHXD THANK YOU

DBBDSBXHD IM. GENUINELLY REELING THANK YOU SO SO MUCH

Its such a shame other incons don't know their place... sure, some of them STARTED off as real people, but the moment they lost their size, they lost any semblence of being even close to human whatsoever- admittedly, its a little annoying, especially being kept awake by the little sobs and begging to be "let go". I've tried everything, cuddling up with newcomers, singing them lullabys, INSISTING that they get some sleep for the next day, but they never listen... such a shame, really...

Emily was especially bad. She always glared at me, and I had to admit- the girl carried herself with the same pride and stature of a real person! Even tried taking her own life, not once, but twice- and actively tried to fight me when I tried to stop her... its so hard to gaze upon my master when one eye is swollen and discolored because another incon slugged me in the face...

I don't blame her, but part of me was glad when she got taken away for her "escape". I've seen countless girls do it, of course, and they all come back sobbing and begging for forgiveness- its awfully cruel, but fair... admittedly, I've tried to probe the returns for details, but usually just so I can get off to how badly they were treated later. The only reason I would ever want to leave my cage is just to hear more people remind me that I'm a worthless, stupid, silly incon... oh well, at least master does that plenty <3

I really wanted to be nice to her, but Emily was just too fixated on being a person... on the bright side, she's learned her place these days! Some incons just take longer than others... and I'm here to help until they recognize their new ranking in the world 🥰

(Oh my GOSH hun this is so so so SO fucking good... the use of all the different organizations, the treatment of strangers, from the receptionist to the boss to the boyfriend- all of this is so, SO perfect... I need it so, SO FUCKING BADLY SHHASHHXDHFHS GOSH <3)

[thedappleddragon]

hooooo my fucking god I don't know why but recently my anxiety/sence of dread has SKYROCKETED in the last 3 days, I haven't been sleeping great and last night I had an anxiety dream about manning the register at work. idk I guess today was fine but im so fucking overstimulated I guess?? I seriously just dont fuking know. but anyway here’s a summary of some days that I may or may not remember. putting it under the cut

Wednesday I was exited to work, they didn’t need me, I hung out with my friends at their outdoor band concert and had boba and it got super cold out

Thursday I went with my dad to drop off a car, then we had breakfast together at a little restaurant I had never been to before. He told me about his childhood n stuff. Then I went to work and priced things outside and felt good about helping some people buy plants even tho I didn’t know exactly what I was doing and ended up handing them off to Becky anyway. Got off work, came home, hung out waiting to be able to go visit my friend but she took a while so dad and I made the snack he had a lot as a kid which was just handmade chocolate frosting on graham crackers. Eventually my friend got home so I grabbed one of those graham crackers in some Tupperware and some other stuff and headed out. It was a longer drive than I was expecting but eh whatever, I got there no problem with a bunch of dad’s shit in the back of the car. We had awkward hellos in her apartment and I pet her fat ass cat until she suggested we go thrifting and oh my god I had never wanted to go thrifting more in my life than right then. I had one of those moments where I realized oh I’m an adult who can go out and just DO things :D so we walked around and gossiped in goodwil and had a great time until they closed, whereupon steph frantically looked for anything that was open near us while I drove around. We settled on going to a little park nearby, where we climbed on the tube with holes on it and swung on the swings. Then we walked around a dense tree/brush like and into the middle of a field, having our main character moments as we walked to the top of a hill with a cross on it. I took a picture of the sunset and a selfie with both of us before we walked back through the field and drove back to her apartment. I gave her 2 tiny flower jars and she let me borrow her container of earring hardware and a bunch of different tiny things to make into earrings. I had a great time and I’d love to hang out again, maybe when everything isn’t closed lmao. We joked a lot about understanding why people do drugs lmao since there’s nothing else to do! everything’s closed!! Also some joke flirting mixed in for flavor. We have an excuse to hang out again so I can return her earring supplies and she can return my Tupperware lol. I thought my phone was going to die on the way home before I realized there was a charging cord in the car! Nice. Got home, watched my friend stream plasmaphobia for a bit while I finished a birthday gift, and hung out and slept when she quit streaming. 

Friend’s birthday party day!! Also dad moving day!! The first task of the day was to drive with my dad down to the nearest uhaul to pick up a big ol’ truck, and follow him home in the car while he lead the way in the truck. Then we brought his car full of shit to the apartment, got his key and paid his first month, and looked through everything to do inspection. Tbh it’s a pretty nice apartment, I’d love to spend some time there once it’s a bit more furnished. My favorite part is a Harry Potter style hidey hole closet that’s meant for storage, but it’s the perfect size for a secluded hangout spot for me. I’ll totally let him use it for storage if he wants, I just like sitting in there. I joked that I would let Emily hang out in the spare bedroom and I could get the tiny room. But we spent time cleaning and looking around and bringing in boxes before dad sent me to pick up lunch, my sister, and another car load of boxes. I left to do all 3 and came back with Mcallisters, and we all sat on the floor and ate together. A very nice way to break in a new apartment. We brought in boxes and dad sent us on a quest to pick up a car part and drop it off where the car we dropped off the day before. We got there just fine, but getting to the second location was a nightmare because of all my wrong turns and u turns and no left turns, it was awful. I mean we got there eventually but still. By then it was time for me to get home so I could wash my hair and get ready for the party!! I got everything ready, but my sister wouldn’t be home with the car on time, so I just took my mom’s van. I was on time for once!! But in exchange I didn’t realize I had forgotten Cassidy’s gift until I was like 3 minutes away. But also I found driving my moms van very easy compared to last time I tried to drive it, and I think I’m a much more confident driver now :) but I was one of the first to arrive, accidentally twinned with cass, waited for everyone to show up, met her new dog, and then we all packed up the picnic basket and walked to the top of a hill to have our little sandwiches and play cards against humanity. On the walk there we passed by a park where little kids were asking why we were all dressed up if it wasn’t Halloween, so I shouted at them that it was her birthday and handed them the branch I was carrying. We played CAH on the hill and ate little sandwiches and meatballs and drank sparkling juice and had a lovely time, and when we were done, we walked back to her house where there was pizza and we all changed out of our formal wear. My bra was sewed into my dress with 6 stitches, so I grabbed some scissors and flashed my friend’s cat as I cut my bra free of the dress because I forgot to bring an extra. I changed into my ghostbusters shirt and snake onesie and joined everyone outside for pizza and lots and lots of stories and ice cream cake and gossip and quiplash and balloons and gifts and CAH and friends leaving and new friends arriving and more quiplash and then the grass getting cold and wet and going ham on keeping the balloons up and then playing that’s what she said (basically CAH but ✨for women ✨) and by this time there was a dude I didn’t know but he was very nice and cute and already taken. Tbh I didn’t know half the people there, there was a group of 4 cool alt people I had never met and then the 4 band kids I already knew but everyone else seemed to know each other and they all had great energy so I yelled a lot and joked a ton and had an amazing time. As the crowd dwindled and the night got cooler, I helped put things away before I left so I could be a nice guest, said my goodbyes, gathered my things, and drove home past midnight. Ask walked around the house turning off lights like my mom asked, I realized that my dad wouldn’t be sleeping here anymore, and I felt bad that he had to spend the night all alone in his new apartment :( and this is going to be a huge financial burden that idk if he can afford, rent for the apartment is almost as much as my mom pays for the house. Jejdjgjt this is all a mess and I would like to go back to ignoring it all <3 Listened to a lot of two trucks by lemon demon lmao

Hoo boy howdy I did a lot of shit today. Basically as soon as I woke up I got a text from dad about us helping him move with a promise of donut holes and a fruit platter. I walked out to the garage to find our family friends the drakes helping to move boxes, so we all spent several hours loading boxes into our cars and driving back and forth from the house to the apartment, with emily and I avoiding the drakes as much as possible lmao. When we had moved as much as we could in the car, we started loading up the uhaul, shoving as much shit in there as possible so we only had to do one trip there and back. Partially through unloading the truck the drakes stopped cleaning things before we brought them in left and some randos from dad’s work came to help unload and somewhere in the middle of all this our aunt and uncle and her service dog came to visit?? Bruh idk so much stuff happened. Emily asked me to take her home so she could work on school stuff and we put things back into the garage and I went back to the apartment to help with stuff and hang out with my aunt while my dad and uncle returned the truck. We made a list of stuff I might need for college and I wrote it down on a notepad and most of the page space was taken up by ponies tbh. The men brought back burger king and eventually my aunt and uncle left. I helped my dad clean up and set up his wifi and we watched mama Mia. It was my first time seeing the film, and it was really dang fun. Then I made dad drive me ho e since emily was still gone with the silver car. I’ll spend he night over there eventually, but not yet. I’m exited to eventually invite friends over since I’ve never been able to do that before. So now I’m home trying g to go to sleep so I can work tomorrow. I keep thinking about smoking weed and making out with someone in the hidey hole in dad’s apartment............ even tho I have literally no one to do that with afsagssg I’m a CHILD. 

Had dreams last night about being stuck on the infinity train again, except there was a mechanic of switching the world between 2d and 3d and the cast of Bluey had to help bingo go through stages of grief / character moments to help her get off the train or something. I was tossing and turning for a few hours anxiously waking up thinking I was gonna be late and going back to bed so I could sleep/dream more. But then I finally got up, fed my cat, fed myself, helped clean the kitchen a little bit, got ready for work, arrived 15 minutes late on accident, worked register for 6 hours, got more comfortable with register and learned how to do stuff, lots of friendly people, lots of me struggling and my bones hurting, dad brought me food but I couldn’t get to my lunch break until everything was room temperature. The chicken sandwich reheated well but the fries did not. After work dad and I stopped by the house, I got an info card to fill out so I can be called in for jury duty eventually, dad handed me $50 for dinner for us and my sister, we laid on the floor and looked at the noodles and company menu, drove there, picked up our food, had a lovely dinner at dad’s apartment, laid around while he talked to Greg on the phone, went to target to pick up small apartment things like a clock and a trash can and some small groceries but it made me nervous because I hate spending money and watching my dad spend money he may or may not have, and by then we were tired as shit and after dropping his stuff off emily and I drove home and I tried teaching her how to crochet for a school project. Now I’m hanging out wanting to go to bed and thinking about how everybody else my age working at ACE is doing like 60 hours a week with 2 jobs and saving for college and I’m just sitting here with probably 14 hours a week and fuck. I don’t want to spiral into shit, I just want to keep busy as much as possible. Maybe I’ll ask for as many work hours as possible, maybe I’ll ask my friends to hang out, idk. Right now I jut want to be busy so I don’t have to think about anything. I’ll spend as much time as possible helping my dad set up his apartment, I don’t care.

WAAAAA TODAY AT WORK WAS SO STRESSFUL, I LEFT FELLNG SO FRAZZLED IT SUCKED. basically I worked register for 4 hours but they’re all trying to ween me off asking for help to get me more comfortable, and we were surprisingly busy, and my garden boss becky asked me to do 2 extra things and my boss boss kept asking about paperwork that I couldn't fill out because I needed my sister to text me something, and an old man got mad at me over the phone because no-one was out there to fill his propane tank and I had a lady waiting for 10 minutes for someone to help load salt into her car and a middle aged man tried to use sarcasm at me while I was in friendly cashier mode aND IM SORRY I HAVE ADHD I DONT GET IT PLEASE S T O P and I tried answering the phone more and I didnt get the things done that becky asked and I left shit there because I just wanteD OUT. afterwards I went to target to get something, idk im writing this afterwards so I not really remember 

and today, my day off. ugh god I dont remember what I did, I know I picked up a vent for my mom’s bathroom and I just went to go get Taco Bell with my sister and bought her some more about crocheting and she’s making progress :) tomorrow is my friend’s birthday and last year I made her a felt doll of her fursona, so today I started making a crochet doll for her. so far I have the body and libs, but I still need to make the muzzle, tail, ears, attach everything, and hand-sew on all the markings and glue on button eyes. or maybe felt eyes, idk. my stomach hurts and I got upset because I told my mom my cat may be sick because her pee looked suspicious so I crocheted and watched my little pony and now I have a headache and im just trying to listen to music but really I just want to watch 50 arms videos at once but it wasn't loading right and idk man I dont know what’s happening, I may be going into work tomorrow. I think now that I have a job to do 3-4 times a week, I dont feel like I can just chill and wing it anymore, it’s like I have plans forever now. and oh god I still have to sig up for college orientation night or whatever, but my mind hasn'tt been on college for like a month or longer. I think im just going to take some Advil and try to relax with my cat and my music. holy shit dude. I know none’s gonna read this but just. fuck. also I should really post these more frequently rather than let them pile up in my texts. thinking about going back and adding all the dates like I did with my early quarantine diary, but that feels like a lot of work

[em-dashes]

11.17.2019

Bonjour! Today was surprising productive (by my standards anyway lmao). I guess organizing my file yesterday made me come across lines that I forgot about and made me go “wait, I want to write that Right Now”.

And now the first draft of Chapter 7 is done! Woot woot! It’s 3798 words long, and about 1977 of it was written today. It’s one of Rian’s chapters, and this is when we finally get to see his telepathy in action (and more detail). It was really fun to explore and write, though of course it needs about a thousand rounds of revisions. There’s a lot of “oh shit!” moments in this chapter, and I really want that to come across to the readers. If it’s one thing I don’t like, it’s plot twists / surprises that don’t work because the premise wasn’t properly set up ><

WIP word count so far: 36k. I still haven’t counted how much of that was written during Nano 2019.

Things I googled, in no particular order:

> electrode caps

> geocentric orbit

> “define context”

> orbital decay

Before we get to today’s excerpt, here’s a quick primer:

Rian Scott: one of the three main characters; a 13-year-old boy with telekinesis and telepathy, who has been kept hidden from the public and planned to be used as a weapon in the impending war.

Holly: Rian’s primary caretaker. She is the only person Rian feels comfortable with and is like an older sister to Rian, though their relationship is a little strained after Rian tried to run away.

And now, it’s excerpt time, babey.

Chapter 7: Rian

“Well, how do you feel about breakfast?” Holly nodded toward the main room. “Come on. I’ve got your favourites.”

She said it like it was some kind of secret between them. Rian tapped off the bathroom light and let Holly guide him to the square table set beside his bed. After the tests, Holly had led him to this room--his room, not the hospital-like room he had woken up in. This room was...warm. Cozy, he thought was the right word. They had brought in as much of his old room as possible, trying to make it feel familiar, like home. It had the same patterned wallpaper, dark blue with stars and planets. The same round striped rug. The same desk and shelves and bed. His old drawings were stuck on a bulletin board on the desk, and the shelves were tucked with his books and games and toys.

He glanced at the tray on the table as he sat down. It had a plate of pancakes, a mug of fruit-flavoured milk, and a dollop of bright green jelly. The pancakes had already been cut into perfect bite-sized chunks because they knew Rian couldn’t hold a knife well enough to do the cutting himself. He scowled at that--or would’ve, if he didn’t feel so numb and detached. In the past he would have found this act considerate. Now it felt like they were mocking him. The world’s most powerful weapon, most coveted if anyone else knew he existed, and he couldn’t even hold his own damn utensils.

“Are you feeling sick?” Holly sat beside him, with one leg drawn onto the bed and her chin resting on her knee. They didn’t allow shoes in this room. Even his thin and harmless canvas slippers stayed outside the door. “I’m sorry, Ri. I know you don’t like any of this.” She sighed through her nose and brushed the hair out of Rian’s eyes. “Eat as much as you can, alright? I can help you eat the rest.” She tugged at the end of one of his curly locks, frowning slightly. “And then we can do something about your hair--”

“I don’t want to cut it.” The words came out stuck together like jam. He felt awful--he’d never talked back to Holly, or anyone, for that matter. Even before he ran away, when he’d been so, so angry with them, he hadn’t said any of his harsh words out loud. He’d simply let things happen, never disagreeing, never acting out, never resisting. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he knew that way, they wouldn’t suspect what he was planning.

And that’s it, because it’s so much spoiler territory from here on out. Why doesn’t Rian want to cut his hair? The answer can be found in this previous post.

Et c’est tout pour le moment mes amis!

-Emily

-

Taglist: @ditzysworld​ :^)

[carolrance]

I AM DYING LMAO

i just found the most hilarious reviews for the handmaid’s tale and i’m dying lol. since twop is dead(?) (is it? i dunno cos i never look anymore tbh) this is the next best thing. and it’s doubly awesome cos she hates all the same characters. (mutual nick hate is my life). i have another post in my drafts about how amazing amy glynn’s reviews at paste are. and they are. but they are serious. these ones are snarktastic.

“Welcome back to America’s favorite rape and explosions show, The Handmaid’s Tale.”

“Nick goes out into the rain, full emo cigarette smoking, resigned to boning this virgin, when he spies something. Oh no! It’s Offred, sprawled in the rain, bleeding to death. He picks her up and screams for help. My god. These two. Offred is the world’s worst teenager. And Nick is her bad boy boyfriend. She’s going to robotically obey and then bleed to death in the rain? Get the fuck out of here with that. These two act like they are in a My Chemical Romance music video circa 2005.” (This is my fav one of them all.)

“Speaking of Nick, he’s still the worst! His baby bride comes to Offred for...advice? I don’t know why she comes to her exactly, except maybe it’s like coming to your sluttiest friend and asking a weird sex question? I don’t know.”

“Serena is clearly mad about Offred, and E. Moss is doing a great job as playing her as the bitchiest teenager in the house. Aunt Lydia has moved in to keep her eye on Offred, and she bursts in during Offred’s teenage sulk bath to instruct her to wash. Down there. You know. (vagina). Offred makes more defiant teenage eye contact as she washes. Down there. She’s almost coming on to Lydia. That’s cool, I guess.”

“We cut to the Colonies and some more cockadoodie plot machinations. Because of the mass casualty event, Emily and Janine, among others, are going to be pressed back into service as Handmaids. This is some ripe bullshit. First off, both are disobedient. Secondly, they’ve been in the radioactive Colonies for a hot minute--who knows what that’s done to their baby making machinery? But now the writers can bring back some important characters. COCKADOODIE.”

“Part of the purpose of the walks are so the fetus can hear and get used to Serena’s voice, you see, and Serena wants to talk shit about everyone they know.”

“We get some grade A pen pornography as she lovingly fingers Fred’s pens, and we close on the image of Serena behind the desk and Offred clicking the ballpoint just like Ofglen clicked the detonator. (We also get an insane music cue: “Venus.” You know, from the razor commercials and also the 1960s? Like, what the what the what, show.)”

“She’s worked on her shrine and her newspaper-clipping Crazy Wall ���, where she is reconstructing the events that led to the creation of Gilead. Which is great, but also, bitch, didn’t you watch the fucking news? You lived through this.”

“They load up into a truck, but at the last minute, Offred remembers that she is the worst and this show is supposed to go for ten seasons, so she hops out, gives the baby to Emily, and heads back into the night, to become Jedi June and fight Gilead to rescue her other daughter.”

“Serena stomps into Devil Fred’s mancave while he is enjoying his jazz records and demands that Offred go back to the Red Center. Fred talks her down, telling her that they don’t want to miss the joy of the pregnancy. Which, okay, Fred. You try having a testy teenager in your face all day.”

“I really wanted to punch her during all of this. How golly, and how insensitive, to poke through their sacred objects and get all teary-eyed, especially as they risk their lives to shelter her dumb ass.��

“Serena monologues about her drafts of new security orders. She wants things to get back to normal--she wants to cut back on the police state to normal dystopian police state levels.”

“It seems the Marthas have had enough, and they are taking action. Offred fucks around for about ten minutes because she is the worst, carving Nolite into the bedroom wall.”

“Anyway, Serena is super pissed, violently potting succulents and plotting dark deeds.”

“At some point, Offred takes a pout bath that is red with blood. She also bleeds clear through her underwear. When they get home, the Waterfords welcome Nick’s bride into the household, and then send Offred and Rita away. Rita is worried about Offred, but Offred has decided to bleed to death. Up the stairs she goes.”

“Offred’s presence rouses Fred out of his mini-coma for just long enough for him to remark on her size (just like a real son of a bitch). Offred leaves and makes out with Nick in the hall because they are stupid assholes. I mean, really. There are people and Eyes all over the place and these two are just slobbering all over. Offred also makes the Martha’s shooting all about her in a real self-centered way.”

“Let’s check in on the boring house, shall we? Offred decides to go around and collect godmothers for her baby.”

“Oh I forgot that Nick and Offred cuddled the baby and blah blah and I still hate them. Also, Nick, your baby bride’s blood is on your hands.”

“In the show, though, we’ve seen a lot of natal care, including ultrasounds, and we’ve seen the inside of a hospital room. Why in the fucking hell would they mess around with home birth at all? It’s so illogical it makes me mad.”

“So she goes outside with the shotgun, has another wolf encounter, and blasts off some rounds to alert someone of her presence. Then she goes back inside and takes off all her clothes and shits that kid out.”

“Back at the Waterford manse, Serena and Offred bond, AGAIN, over Eden’s execution and Serena lets Offred breast feed the baby, because she is completely internally inconsistent. On this episode, Serena will be affected by the atrocities of the regime she helped create. ANYWAY, THE END.”

“Eden wants to spruce up the apartment, and Nick gives her permission and plays the husband humoring his little woman’s whims. Which, total and complete barf forever. Nick still doesn’t see Eden as a potential threat, because he is an idiot. While she’s working on her HGTV audition tape, she finds the stack of contraband letters Nick took from Offred when she was going mad.”

“Into the house they run, Serena screaming Offred’s name like she’s going to catch her and probably murder her. I mean, this is full throated scream. If your dog ran away, you wouldn’t scream his name that way because he would be like: that bitch is crazy and wants to kill me. So it unsuprisingly doesn’t work on a human woman.”

“Meanwhile, Nick catches Eden kissing the douchebag Guardian. He’s like no big deal, and Eden freaks out. She says that he’s in love with the Handmaid, and he gaslights the fuck out of her denying it. Nick is a bastard. He shows Eden no kindness. He doesn’t treat her like a person. She doesn’t rate even a decent excuse. There are many things he could say: that she’s so young, that they don’t know each other, that he’s unhappy to be married at all. But he does none of those things. This woman is fifteen years old. She’s spent her adolescence under the yoke of Gilead. While she may be a true believer, she is still not in charge of her fate here. Nick is a bastard.”

“Devil Fred and Offred get in a knock-down, drag out, and he misquotes the bible at her and slaps her across the face. She then slaps him across his face, and is not immediately fucking super murdered.”

“Emily is like what the fuck, this place is weird. Lydia is like, bye! You better be good or we will kill you! Have fun! Anyway, she has a brief conversation with the Wife, who is like: this guy is horrible. He created The Colonies! He poisoned people! Commander Old Hipster gently shuffles her away, back to her crazy room.”

And serious business shit (cos it’s not all jokes):

“What I do think is wrong is the zig-zagging of Serena’s character. She’s mean and petty, and then she’s happy playing writer to Offred’s editor. Then she’s mad again, and then even more mad after that. Raping Offred to punish her for false labor is insane and irredeemable. Devil Fred has been consistently devilish--a prick who enjoys owning women--but Serena has seesawed from one extreme to another. I don’t think it makes her character more complicated or deep. Instead, it seems like inconsistency in the writing.

This show has been saluted as being of the times, for being very current. When I see children being ripped from their parents, or in an earlier episode this season, people desperate to escape to another country, and then I see it echoed in real life, it is hard to take. Dystopias are less entertaining to watch when you live in a country that seems to be accelerating toward the same.”

“Things I liked: Annie Lennox, Commander Old Hipster/his house/his wife/his Martha/his stolen art collection/taste in graphic novels/scarves, Rita and the Marthas rising up. Things I didn’t like: EVERYTHING ELSE

As adaptations go, the second season was always going to be a rough one. I can’t say that it was successful. They’ve turned June/Offred into an asshole, and they made Serena so inconsistent we don’t even know what to expect moment to moment. That’s not good writing, y’all.”

BTW, the site is:

https://heauxsmag.com/new-blog/?tag=handmaids+tale

[laur-rants]

I love those profiles so much! But i'd say Em has thick lips rather than thin! ;w;

Alright so I'm bored at work and wishing I could edit this because I AGREE Emily doesn't have thin lips, but I'd say she's got average lip size, but that might just be me. I think I wrote that down like that bc Billie has nice full lips (I mean seriously she's got some nice lips) and compared to Billie...yeah her lips are thinner. BUT I FORGOT TO ADD THAT AS A POINT ON BILLIE TOO.So yeah. I need to add that Billie has full lips and remove the point on Emily about thin lips lmao.