#i forgot that I had this fucking gem in my drafts for truly I have no idea how long. in light of long musk and twitter I think it's time

[beyond-a-name]

Hey, I'm Billionaire Shitstick, from crimes. You may know me from my massive exploitative and criminal empire that I have forcibly legalized through my enourmous wealth, or for inventing the Torment Nexus inspired by the great book Don't Invent the Torment Nexus. However, I also sometimes post funny numbers online! 49 and 620, amirite gamers??? Anyway, I'm here to announce my new service, Exploitation 2! Since paying off the actual inventor of the Torment Nexus to give me the patent and title of its creator, I've been looking to do more. Since upgrading Exploitation 1 in our labour mills, bottle urine has been up 3000%! Here at Fuckshit-EnviroWaste, our main value is Line Go Up. In the spirit of that money value, we want to permanently break even more poor people for even more bottle urine! We predict that by utilizing Exploitation 2's patented Blackmaille technology, we can increase exports of Vapid Bullshit another by Big Number%!

Thanks for listening to this announcement. I'm off to go do some relateable activities with my failson, like eat poorman sushi (that's sushi made out of poor people) on my yacht made from the remnants of the Apollo 13 space vehicle and emeralds strip-mined straight from the prettiest rainforest. Stay swanky!

[xxxdoppel]

And here he is. My OC. xxxALeC.

It’s rare when I draw or design something that does not make me feel embarrassed two weeks after I’m done with it, so it was exciting to see him again and realize he’s so cvnt! If he could have a theme soundtrack it’d be “Sour Candy” by LG.

I don’t really remember my whole thought process for him, though. It’s been a while but, at least, I recall enough to roughly explain his story and design.

I always envisioned my own world in the Puella Magi series to involve magical “girls” who where serial killers. There was so much boundless freedom and so many ways to express your magical powers that feeding the reason of your survival made the lives of others an interesting gamble.

It was a little sad to me when Himena’s story began unfolding and I realized my idea was too similar in some aspects. xxxALeC’s wish was quite the same, but given a different purpose. But, whatever. Not like I’m ever planning to write his story anyway so who the fuck cares, Mary?

Let’s go back to the important things.

The first version of him is the black ensemble. The one he originally transforms into. I wanted him to look feminine. Someone who is perfectly confident, perfectly content, perfectly sure of where they belong to to be comfortable to be masculine and feminine at the same. Lethal, sexy, cvnt and no fucks to give to no random ass motherfucker. Something like that.

The second outfit is what he eventually evolves into. His development is the life of a flower. A bud who blooms into a rose of despair. There is no hope for a serial killer. You can only kill one person in your life… because you pay for that soul with your own. He has already killed way too many to dream for something better.

Valentino red. That’s his favorite color. It matches well with blood, I guess.

I don’t know if you know this but I’m a really big fan of Revolutionary Girl Utena, so it makes sense my weapon is a sword. A big one. Ladies, is it gay to feel sexually attracted to big deadly blades?

His soul gem is a fun little detail. I started drawing random shapes until I realized I had made a vagina. She’s open, juicy and intricately wonderful. I like to tell myself he’s a void to feel special, but he’s most likely a dark slut… because Kanagi is queen of darkness OF COURSE sis.

Abraxas, the doll maker witch. Her nature is depersonalization-derealization. A flower who once attracted many clients and there was something else here but I totally forgot the full description I came up with lol! Something about vessels and magical girls.

This is kind of a controversial topic, but this witch was inspired by a certain famous murder that occurred in North America in the late 90’s about a certain young gay man… well… if you know you know. I thought it’d be interesting to create something powerful out of such tragedy. I do apologize if I went too far. It does tie well with xxxALeC’s story, though.

I actually came up with two concepts for this witch. Let’s call them “the good ending” and “the bad ending.” This one that you’re seeing is the good ending. Now I wish I had kept the rough draft of the second one. It was kinda lit, if you don’t mind me saying.

I love horror stories and I’ve always wanted a magical girl story that was also a horror movie. There are magical girl murders and death out there, but there isn’t really magical girl horror that truly gives you a fright. If I had enough motivation to write long stories I’d definitely LOVE to come out with a story like that.

[thedegenerateasexual]

just for funsies i checked the air dates of the seminal episodes 3.19 Letharia Vulpina and 3.22 De-Void and they are february 17 2014 and march 10 2014

with that knowledge in hand here are some fun facts, come down nostalgia lane w/ me:

i started shipping this stupid thing on march 10th 2014 and i can feel nice and superior about being here ALMOST from the get-go

prior to 3.19 only SIXTEEN ENTIRE FICS for that pairing had been published

when i got on AO3 immediately after the ep aired to look for derek/chris there were 23 fics published

there are now 158, but most of them have kn*tting or other ships/tropes i don't like, so i'm STILL #suffering

i've now read the first Ever derek/chris fic and it's not actually too bad! tho i prefer them set after allison dies just to spare her the trauma

less than one short month later i got distracted by some whackjob named barnes and his pretty blonde wife which is probably why it took me this long to get around to writing this shit

speaking of that shit i wrote, i sighed longingly about wanting to catch up on some Bad TV back on may 1st, and had the entirety of the show on my HD by may 3rd

on may 10th i confessed to reading some Bad TV Fic (i'll be honest, i tried some st*rek furst because they write a good derek, but...i can’t deal he’s a MINOR so eventually i went back to looking for fic of my Real Preference. sadly there was very little)

i half-heartedly began an outline file of the fic i sorta-kinda thought about writing on may 30th, but it was just a list of bullet points about my particular interpretations of their characters, no real plot other than "catch kate together"

on june 12th, while making a sandwich, i was ruminating on chris argent and trying to decide if i could make him more interesting to me since currently his main role was just being kind of horrified at his sister and a good character that does not make, when Suddenly i had an idea about a story he tells in season 1

i immediately flew to my computer, messaged @marcusanthotius, and said something like "emily can i tell you about this idea i just had it might be a little bit of a text wall sorry" and she was like "sure" and then i told her and over the course of the conversation she went from "damn that sounds neat" to "I'M SO MAD I DON'T EVEN GO HERE BUT I REALLY WANT TO READ THIS NOW"

i know it was on june 12th while making a sandwich because i saved the conversation for future reference so i wouldn't lose the idea and i said "suddenly while making a sandwich my brain threw me this idea" and she said "it's always mid sandwich or laundry isn't it" which is a very correct observation

(completely forgot until i reread it that one of my points of beef with chris's first version of the story came from someone nitpicking wildlife facts on tvtropes, which i had been reading the previous night - not only do bats that bite not live anywhere near but that's not actually how rabid dogs act; the story was probably done that way to make an obvious comparison to werewolves, factual shit be damned. considering how the show always points out otherwise when the wildlife is acting weird, like when wolves or bioluminescent fireflies show up where they aren't supposed to)

(spoilers: it worked & he’s pretty interesting to me now)

anyway she was like "not to be a bad influence but you should write this" so i made my story doc on june 12th also, but it stayed empty for five days because i was busy perfecting my outline and pacing and shit

on june 18th, 3 years, 3 months, and 9 days after 3.22 De-Void aired, i started writing thing. talk about playing the long game

i poked and prodded at it off and on until june 21, which was my birthday, and got distracted by other things (presents!) and kind of half-gave-up on it because Sex Scenes Are Hard To Write, Okay

on july 9th the 6B trailer dropped. the very last thing i said before i watched it was "yeah i heard a rumor derek's coming back but i'm not holding my breath lol" which frankly is fucking iconic

im gonna take a small moment to send silent appreciation for those 5 seconds of derek hale footage in which i was truly, unironically, living my BEST possible life

NEEDLESS TO SAY i was pretty fucking excited bc my wordcount for that day was 1800

(started this blog on july 14th which just goes to show you im incapable of writing something without also blogging about it, posted this gem one week later on the 21st which goes to show i’m bad at having a secret ship, though i guess keeping it a secret for 3+ years isn’t too bad)

& the rest is history i wrote over 1k for nearly every single day between then & aug8, which is when i finished my rough draft, posted that shit 24h later

which means from conception to posting it took 71 days but from the time i wrote the first word to the time i wrote the last one, 51 days, just under 2 months, and if we don't count the piddling done prior to the 6B trailer it's more like 31 days

anyway those were the best 31 days i've had all year, wouldn't trade 'em for anything