#i felt like i should tag u in this to let u know i am SERIOUS ABT MAKING HIS BLOG
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koushirouizumi · 1 year ago
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Katekyō Hitman Reborn! + Ep. #180 ~ Yamamoto & Tsuna {YamaTsuna} / 8027 + Moments & Interactions + Important Dialogues {Anime Ver.} + Character Development Parallels - Tsuna's Character Development{s}
"I put unnecessary 'Pressure' on you without realizing it..." - Tsuna, Initially
{"...I want you to stop."} - Tsuna, Later
Happy belated Birthday, Yamamoto! {Apr. 24th}
{Gifs by Me} {Do Not Re-post} {Do Not Re-produce Without My Permission} (Please ASK to Use)
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#koushirouizumi khr#koushirouizumi khr cap#koushirouizumi tsuna#koushirouizumi 80x27#8027#yamatsuna#c: tsunayoshi#c: takeshi#c: hayato#khr: primo guardians arc#khr spoilers#(Just 80x27 Things)#({oK BUT} Lead in to Later Moments in Full)#(HI THESE CONCEPTS WERE G O O D)#(HI I NEED MORE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT + SELF A W A R E N E S S LIKE THIS IN S H O N E N SERIES *IN GENERAL*)#(Tsuna makes up for it later by c LARIFYING Too)#(Im honestly almost m AD this concept between them ISNT 'main' c ANON BC IT S H O U L D B E hHHHH)#(MORE ON THAT LATER T h o)#(Hi was it REALLY n ECESSARY to make {Takeshi} sound B r o k e n Voice'd while Watery e YES MULTIPLE TIMES BETWEEN BOTH This Sequence)#({Hayato} ofc gets pissed and is like 'k NOCK IT OFF I KNOW YOURE BETTER THAN THIS WHATS *WITH* YOU')#(&NEGL when I first watched like *2k10!!!* I had wondered if theyd Go There with Ch05 referring to BUT Yeah I Was Let Down in that regard)#(They Sure Did Get The Feeling of Ch05 {Takeshi} Down Here Though It Felt Like)#(Also {Takeshi} With The D r a m a t i c w INDOW SeatTM View)#(Tsuna WAS VERY GOOD STILL THOUGH in these eps and to this day I Long For More Like This From S h o n e n)#(Because this was TSUNA Trying to Give {TAKESHI} AN ***O U T***)#(TSUNA WANTED TO GENUINELY LET {TAKESHI} KNOW THAT TAKESHI COULD S T O P W V O N G O L A IF *TAKESHI WANTED*)#(*AND TAKESHI DECIDES TO CONTINUE f OLLOWING + P R O T E C T TSUNA a NYWAY* ALL BECAUSE OF SUCH MOMENTS BETWEEN THEM)#(LIKE YES ITS S H O N E N THATS THE GIST BUT ITS A GREAT DYNAMIC ID LIKE MORE OF IN SOME FORM SOMEDAY THANKYOU)#(HI THIS SET NOW RBABLE BUT PLEASE KEEP IN MIND I Have Blogrules That Should Be Followed I AM NEW TO K.H.R TAGS p OSTING PLS R E G A R D)#(I AM NOT New to K.H.R as a whole and actively followed m a n g a while it released in J.P.N until End but PLS BE KIND ON THIS THANKYOU)
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nocturnalcharm · 6 months ago
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Faking It (Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader)
𐙚 prompt: charles forces you and logan to do a mission together in order to help you bond. 𐙚 cw: enemies to lovers, one bed trope, if this does well i’ll do a part 2 w smut ;) cussing, 𐙚 a/n:  thanks to everyone who's sent me req's! this wasnt a req but id already started it haha if youve sent a req ill try to get to it asap.... also so many ppl wanted to be added to a taglist but for the nsfw alphabet post i dont think it tagged like half the ppl?? so im sorry if u dont get tagged, im trying to fix it :)
18+ blog!! you are responsible for your own media consumption. if any of the above makes you uncomfortable, do not proceed.
“Professor, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“(Y/N), it’s not me you should be apologizing to. It’s your team. That’s who you both let down.” He eyes flick between you and Logan.
“I’ll go apologize to them now.” You turn to leave.
“You too Logan.” Charles says.
On this latest mission, you needed to sneak into a factory and take down all of the enemies— But you and Logan were arguing so loudly, you alerted all of the rivals, turning a few quick sneak attacks into full blown fights. No one was badly injured but you still felt horrible about it.
“This is all your fault.” You mumbled, just loud enough for Logan to hear.
“My fault? You’re kidding.” He huffs.
“Shut up.” You walk ahead of him, on the way to the common room to see your team.
Everyone was sitting there, talking amongst themselves. Once you and Logan entered, they all stopped their conversations and looked at you.
“Guys. I am so sorry about this mission.”
“I’m sorry, extremely sorry, and I apologize for my behavior.” Logan mocked your expression of regret.
“You are such a child, Logan! I’m trying to apologize!” You raised your voice.
“I am too!”
“Can you two just stop?” Hank stood up, silencing you both. “Your attitudes have been getting in the way of every mission. If you guys can’t get along then maybe you shouldn’t be here.”
“Oh..” You didn’t know how to respond. You couldn’t believe you let your dislike for Logan get in the way of your job, so much that they thought you shouldn’t be an X-Man anymore.
They all left the room, leaving just you and Logan to culminate in your thoughts.
“I think it’s pretty obvious we’re not going to get along any time soon.” He broke the silence.
“We’ll figure it out.”
“Yeah, whatever you say.” He walked out, as you sat in the empty room.
The next day, Xavier called you and Logan into his office yet again. You were concerned, worried he might be kicking you off the team. But instead, he said he had a mission for you two.
“I need you to pose as a couple. You’ll be going to an upscale hotel in Manhattan. It’s a cover for a drug smuggling ring. You two will stay as guests in order to collect information. I need everyone that is there, guests and workers alike, to think you two are madly in love. We don’t know who could be involved, so we can’t have them think anything suspicious.”
“Professor, is that the best idea? We just blew the last mission because we couldn’t stop arguing.”
“If you two fail this mission, I will have no choice but to replace both of you. You are amazing at what you do, but your arguing affects everyone. Not just yourselves.”
“Okay. We won’t let you down.” Logan speaks up.
***
The trip to the hotel was long and frustrating. You two couldn’t agree on anything the entire time. You criticized his driving, he criticized what you put on the radio, and how loud it was. You called him an old man, which just resulted in the radio being turned off and continuing the last hour drive there in silence.
When you arrived, it was late afternoon. Logan, pretending to be your fiance, grabbed all the bags by himself and walked inside. The hotel was huge. It was upscale, classy. So fancy you were afraid to touch anything, in fear it might break.
“Hi! Checking in for Anderson.” He greeted the front desk clerk, giving his forged name. He dropped the bags on the floor and you wrapped yourself around his now-free arm, squeezing it.
“Hello, Mr. Anderson.” She smiled back, “Let’s see. You had the penthouse, correct?”
“That’s right.”
“We’re celebrating our engagement!” You beamed, holding out your hand, showing off your fake engagement ring.
“That’s lovely. Congratulations! We’ll have a bottle of champagne in your room for celebration.”
“Thank you so much!” You squeaked.
He finished the check-in process, then you headed to the top floor.
The penthouse was absolutely gorgeous. It was huge, the size of a decent apartment. Just like the lobby, you were afraid to break something.
“Wow.. This is amazing. Only time I’ll ever get to stay in a penthouse and it’s with you.” You said, as he shut the door.
“I was just thinking the same thing. Now, c’mon we gotta go to the pool. Get changed.” He handed you your bag.
You opened it, pulling out your bikini. It was the only one you had, admittedly from a few years ago. You didn’t have time anymore to relax by a pool or go swimming in the ocean, so this swimsuit had to do. It was a simple black string bikini.
You went inside the bathroom to change. Once you had your swimsuit on, you felt a little self conscious at the amount of skin showing, but figured it’d help with the whole ‘can’t keep your hands off your new fiance’ vibe you and Logan needed to exude for this mission.
You walked out of the bathroom, faking confidence you didn’t have. Logan had taken the opportunity to just change in the living space since he was alone. He was wearing black swim trunks. It was funny, it looked like you two had matched on purpose.
“Wow.” He said quietly, clearing his throat.
“What? You like what you see?” You joked at his clear uncomfortableness with seeing you in such little clothing.
“Whatever, let’s just go.” He spat, grabbing two towels, the key, and exiting the room.
The second you were out the door, you both had big smiles on your face. His arm was around you, holding your side as you headed to the pool.
It wasn’t too busy, just a few kids with their parents, and a bartender at the outdoor bar. You told him you wanted a drink, so that’s where you headed first.
“Hey, can I get two Mojitos?” Logan asked, handing him the room key “And can you just charge it to our room?”
“Of course,” He started working on the drinks immediately, while you two sat and people-watched. He finished the drinks, and gave you them and the room key back.
You said thank you as you walked off, hoping Logan would just follow. There was a small hot tub that was empty, so that’s where you went. You stepped in carefully, afraid of slipping, and sat down in the warm water.
“Really?” Logan whispered, a fake smile still adorned on his face.
“This is what couples do, Logan. And we’re a couple for this weekend. So sit down and act like you love me, sweetie.” Your grin was starting to hurt your cheeks.
He sat down across from you, and you mentally rolled your eyes. You got up, and repositioned yourself, sitting in his lap, “What part of ‘act like you love me’ are you not getting?” 
He was frozen for a moment, caught off guard but quickly acted like he was happy to have you there, to not draw suspicion. You both took sips of your drink, as you continued to nonchalantly looked around.
You two stayed at the pool for awhile, taking mental notes of the guests and employees you saw. Honestly, this hotel didn’t seem too strange. But Xavier said it was a front so you guessed that’s why it seemed so normal, for their cover.
Once your drinks were empty, and the sun had started to go down, you both decided to head back up to the room. He got out drying himself off before wrapping you up in your towel. He picked you up and carried you bridal-style to the penthouse.
“Logan!”
“What? Just acting like I love you.” He smirked.
Once inside the room, he set you down. “I’m gonna go shower.” You stated, not really knowing what to do. 
He just nodded, walking off to the kitchenette. You grabbed your bag and headed to the bathroom.
***
You mentally cursed yourself as you scrambled through your bag, searching for a pair of pajama shorts you thought you packed, but they were nowhere to be found. 
“This cannot be real.” You whispered. The only other clothes you brought were jean shorts, and you sure as hell weren’t going to sleep in those.
You pulled out your oversized sleepshirt, putting it on. The hem landed right above the middle of your thigh. It was a little shorter than the length of a nightgown, so you just hoped he wouldn’t notice. You slipped on a pair of panties, snatched up your things, and exited the bathroom.
You immediately bumped into Logan, who was standing right outside the door.
“What the fuck?” You raised your voice, annoyed. “Why are you right outside the door?”
“I was about to knock. You’ve been in there for over an hour.”
“It’s all yours!” You sassed.
You walked over to the small kitchen, and see he had already opened up the champagne. You had a glass as you sat on a barstool, writing down some notes about the people you’d observed earlier. Pouring yourself another glass, you headed over to the bed.
Just as you made yourself comfortable, Logan came out of the washroom, in just a towel. You stared at his wet torso for a moment, hypnotized.
“My eyes are up here.” He laughed.
You looked up, embarrassed.
“Forgot my clothes. Hey, wait, why are you in the bed?”
“…Because I’m the girl?”
“You're also the short one. I can’t fit on that couch.”
“Oh, c’mon. It’s a big bed. We can both fit just fine. Unless you’re nervous. Never slept with a girl before, Lo?”
He sighed, clearly not wanting to argue, before taking his clothes and escaping back to the bathroom. You silently celebrated your victory.
He came out a few moments later, turning off the lights, sliding under the blankets and getting comfortable. You both ended up facing the same direction. If he was any closer, he’d be the big spoon, but there was a few inches separating you.
You adjusted your body, and accidentally felt your ass rub against him. You went rigid from humiliation, before scooting away slightly, ignoring it since he didn’t say anything.
You tried to fall asleep, but it was difficult, for many reasons. One, you’re not used to having someone else in your bed. Two, he was breathing heavily. Three, you couldn’t stop thinking about how sexy he was.
Of course, you knew Logan was attractive, you’d thought that since the moment you first saw him. But today, probably because of the faux-gagement, the touching, the flirting, you saw him differently. He was still getting on your nerves, but the flames between you two… His body… It was unlike before.
You exhaled a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You twiddled your feet, moving around your body nervously, before unintentionally grazing your ass against his crotch again.
“Y’know, if you keep rubbing your ass against my dick, I’m gonna do something about it.” His words sounded gruff in your ear, but they gave you butterflies.
“Maybe that’s what I want.” 
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n0thingbutlov3 · 7 months ago
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need you now
in which an impulsive voicemail leads to some secrets being spilled.
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader. warnings/tags: angst (sorry i’m incapable of being nice lol) hurt/comfort tho!! lil bit of fluff too because i AM capable of being nice, alcohol consumption as a coping mechanism (i’m literally just a girl…) spencer and reader are broken up :( but they’re still sooo in love and it’s soo obvious so it’s fine!! (also it kind of gets fixed at the end-ish. you’ll see *evil smirk*) reader cries a lot (real) spencer is a cutie (as always) spencer and reader sleep together…no like literally, not in a funny business way, some swearing, no use of y/n!!! wc: 3k a/n: hihihi!! so this is my first fan fiction i’ve wrote and completed ever (gulp) it’s also my first time publishing one (gulp) my writing could definitely be better and so could my grammar tbh but i HOPE if you choose to read you’ll enjoy…feedback is always appreciated (plsplspls) also like requests?? if anyone’s into that—id love to write more but inspo is difficult sometimes. if there’s any spelling mistakes im sorry, eye am very tired!! it’s 5am *eye twitching* okay i’m going to sleep, gootbye IF U SAW ME EDITING THIS 5 TIMES NO U DIDNT (i’m bad at tumblr ok..)
“Hi. This is Doctor Spencer Reid. I’m not available right now, but leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can…”
His tinny voice cut off to make way for the signature beep of the beginning of a voicemail recording.
You could hang up now—you should hang up now, save yourself some dignity and go drown your sorrows in alcohol like a normal person instead of calling your ex-boyfriend.
You should, but your mouth was opening before your finger could reach the hang-up button, and…and it was a losing battle from the moment you clicked on Spencer’s icon.
“Uh—hi, it’s…it’s me.” You huffed out a sad laugh.
“So, um, I…I tried calling, but you didn’t answer so…” The static buzz of silence hummed through your ear, just inches from where you held your phone with a shaky grip. “maybe you’re on a case or out with friends, or someone else—“ You let the implication hang in the air—the thought of Spencer potentially being in a relationship bringing a lump to your throat.
You swallowed it down.
“I just…I just had an unbelievably shitty day, Spence.” You sniffed, wiping the moisture that had escaped from your eye with your sweater sleeve. “I know you’ve never read A Series of Unfortunate Events but I think I’d give those kids a run for their money.” You tried to laugh but it came out as more of a sob.
You inhaled shakily, trying to collect yourself and remember why on earth you thought it would be a good idea to call Spencer when you’d been broken up for months. Hell, you hadn’t heard from him at all since you had parted ways—except from the odd text about returning each others’ things. It was obvious he had moved on, and here you were, filling up his voicemail with blubbering messages and making references to adolescent books.
“God, sorry about this.” You breathed out a watery chuckle. “I just…didn’t want to be alone, I guess. But that’s-um-not your problem anymore, so I’m—I’m sorry. Have a nice night.” Your voice cracked and you hung up before you could start weeping down the line. You didn’t need to look even more pathetic.
You pulled your phone away from your ear, looking down at his contact photo through blurred vision. He was smiling—not the tight, closed lip smile he gave other people, but a full, bright smile that had his dimples showing. One of your hands was wrapped loosely around his neck and the other was holding your phone just far enough away to capture both of your smiles. Your head was rested on top of his shoulder, tilted just slightly to the left so your temple was brushing against his.
It felt like looking at a vintage photograph—you knew those people and their happiness existed at some point in time, but it wasn’t tangible; you couldn’t verify it was real.
When you were with Spencer, you never doubted how real it was. All you had to was look at him across the room and he’d flash you a smile identical to the one in that photo and you’d just…know.
It felt like forever ago now that you’d been on the receiving end of that grin and it killed you. So much so that before you could consider the repercussions, you were trudging through to your kitchen and grabbing the bottle of whiskey that sat unopened in your cabinet. It had been a present—from Rossi, actually. When Spencer had first introduced you to the team, the older man had given it to you as something of a welcome gift. Of course, he couldn’t have known you weren’t much of a drinker, and since you wanted to make a good impression (and because you were sure it had cost more than all the alcohol you had consumed in your life combined) you accepted it—deciding to save it for a rainy day.
You think this qualified.
You grabbed the bottle, a glass, and padded back through to your living room, slumping onto your couch. You filled your glass up a little less than halfway before gulping it down, enjoying the burn in your throat—it was better than the constant thickness.
You poured yourself another glass before turning on the TV. You weren’t sure what was playing—it didn’t really matter anyway, your vision was already being obscured by tears again.
You thought the pounding was in your head at first—serves you right for drinking half a bottle of whiskey. Only, it wasn’t, because moments later the pounding subsided and instead, your apartment door was opening, casting your pitch-black living room in a yellow glow which temporarily blinded you.
You squeezed your eyes shut, your mind hazy—again, serves you right for drinking half a bottle of whiskey. Someone was calling your name, but there was too much sensory input for you to make out who.
You certainly hoped it wasn’t a paramedic—maybe your neighbour had heard you sobbing for the last four hours and decided you needed a wellness check. Then there were hands on your face, and that had you flicking your eyes open, because you recognised those hands—impossibly soft, with a callus on his trigger finger being the only thing to mar them. Spencer.
“Spencer?” You slurred.
He sighed in exasperation (or relief) and tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
“Are you alright? You weren’t answering your phone, I thought…” He trailed off, worry evident in his voice.
You sat up then, trying to compose yourself even though the room was spinning. Fucking whiskey. You rubbed your eyes haphazardly, blinking until you could finally see.
You should’ve stayed bleary-eyed. Because nothing could prepare you for the way your breath hitched when you finally saw him. After months of not seeing each other, Spencer was here, sitting on your couch, and he was looking at you like you were something fragile, and—God, you needed another drink. You turned away from him, reaching for the neck of the bottle as you spoke.
“I’m fine.”
Before you could lift it up, Spencer gently pried your hand away from the bottle with his own, and then slid it across the coffee table with his other.
“You’re drunk. No more of that, please.” His tone wasn’t unkind, but he left no room to argue. You probably would’ve objected anyway, if it weren’t for the way he kept his hand clasped around yours, rubbing soothing circles into your pulse point almost absentmindedly.
You glanced up to him—to stop yourself from staring at your hand in his and how natural it felt, more than anything—but that proved to be a mistake too, because he looked just as beautiful as thirty seconds prior and it felt just as natural for him to be sitting next to you on your sofa, but it wasn’t natural anymore.
“How did you get in?”
“My key.”
“Oh.”
Right. The key that he still had because you refused to meet up with him to let him return it. He tried for weeks to contact you, but you ignored him, because getting the key back meant things were finally over. You supposed he could return it now—maybe that’s why he came in the first place.
“Why did you come?” You asked, your voice impossibly small.
“You called.” He replied—as though he was talking about something as simple as the weather. You call and I come.
You searched in his eyes for any sign of a lie, but of course, there was none. He was being completely genuine—as always. You were the awful ex-girlfriend who left concerning voicemails on his phone and had him travelling to your apartment in the middle of the night only for him to look completely okay with the situation—like there was nothing he’d rather be doing than making sure you were safe.
You couldn’t help the way tears sprung to your eyes or your lip began to tremble as you lolled your head back onto the couch, pulling your gaze away from his.
“Angel, what’s wrong?”
You liked to consider yourself to be a strong person. You had been through things in your life that were objectively worse than your breakup with Spencer, but something about the gentleness of his tone and the way he had let one of his many (past) petnames for you slip had your throat tightening and you ducked your head into your one hand—the other still seized by Spencer’s—to try and muffle a sob.
“Hey,” He trailed his hand that was wrapped around yours up your arm, all the way to your shoulder blade before lightly guiding you towards him. You don’t have enough energy in you to fight his magnetic pull, so you shuffle over until you can bury your head into his shirt. You inhale his scent; vanilla, neroli, and so him it makes you ache.
Stopping your tears is futile—you’d know, they’d barely ceased all night—so you just let them fall, seeping into Spencer’s tie as he rubs one hand softly up and down your back, the other cradling the crown of your head.
His breathing is quiet and slow—the exact opposite of yours—and you try to imitate it—forcing air into your lungs. When your sobbing has turned to shaky breathing and the occasional sniffle, he speaks up.
“Do you want to talk?”
Talk about what? About what had happened today—what had led you to calling him? Talk about how for the last few months, he had been the only person you had wanted to call?
“No.” You hated how pitiful you sounded.
“Okay.”
Spencer didn’t say anything else for a minute—your synchronised breathing being the only thing to stop the room from falling into dead silence.
“You need to rehydrate.” He murmured, smoothing down your hair.
You hummed into him, in no hurry to unwrap yourself from his body. You probably wouldn’t get to be this close to him again, after all.
He moved both of his hands to your biceps, pulling you back slightly so you could look at him. He knitted his brows together in a silent plea which had you rolling your eyes petulantly, your lashes still damp from tears.
“Fine.” You peeled yourself off of him, pushing yourself into a standing position. Horrible mistake. You were still incredibly drunk, turns out, and everything was spinning a little bit and come to think of it, you were also nauseous and—
“Careful, lovely.” Spencer placed his hand firmly on the small of your back, keeping you upright.
and—actually, you were fine now.
He stood too, moving his hand just slightly over to your waist so he could guide you to the kitchen. When he knew you could stand upright—even if you were relying mostly on the counter behind you—he grabbed a glass from your cabinet, moving around effortlessly to pour you some water. The sight was so domestic you almost wanted to cry again. Maybe in some alternate timeline, where you and him could’ve worked, this would be an every day thing—minus the drunk sobbing part, of course.
He handed you the glass of water, watching as you took a few sips. He raised an eyebrow, nodding his head slowly.
“Whole thing, please.”
You let out an exasperated (affectionate) sigh and gulped the rest of it down, setting it on the counter behind you.
“Happy?”
“Very.”
You smirked, trailing your gaze down his body. He was still in his work clothes which, at the very least, meant he wasn’t on a date before he came here. He always changed before dates—well, for you, anyway. You wondered if he had been on any dates since the breakup—you certainly hadn’t. It had been long enough now that it wouldn’t be weird for you to start seeing other people—but you didn’t want to. You weren’t sure you’d ever want to, to be completely honest.
The more you thought about it, the more the whole thing seemed stupid. You didn’t want anyone else, you wanted Spencer. You had tried to get over him but if tonight was any indication—it clearly wasn’t working. You can’t even remember why you broke up in the first place—it all seemed so insignificant now. No amount of pain you had ever experienced in your relationship had come close to that of living without him.
You met his eyes once more and it was like he could see the question brewing. He tried to stop you, calling your name in a quiet warning, but you ignored him.
“Why did we break up?”
He frowned, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth with his tongue in that maddening way he did.
“I—you know why—“
“No, but I don’t! I know things were difficult sometimes but that doesn’t mean it didn’t work. It worked—we worked.” Your eyes were stinging again.
Spencer pressed his index and middle finger into his eye, furrowing his brows.
“I know, I know we worked, angel—but you were sad all the time, remember? I was gone so often and it wasn’t good for you.” His true emotions were indecipherable but his tone was soft, and you wished you could be as calm about this as him. Did he just not care as much as you did?
“But It’s—It’s worse now—“ You choked out, tears falling freely now. “I was sad when you were gone, but you always came back—you don’t come back anymore.”
Spencer removed his hand from his face, flexing it at his side like he was uncertain what to do with himself before taking a stride towards you. He brought a hand to your face, wiping the tears from under your eyes delicately—like you were made of porcelain.
“Listen, sweetheart—alcohol affects your ability to regulate your emotions and I know right now it might feel worse but that doesn’t mean it always—“
“Spencer, stop! It’s not the fucking alcohol, I miss you! I miss you all of the time! Even—even when I’m having a good day—I still want you—and especially when I—when I have a bad day—“ You choked out through heaving breaths.
“Breathe.” He urges, cupping your cheek. And you’re so, so angry, and sad, and tired that you have no choice but to shut up and listen to him. When you’ve adequately calmed down, he moves his hand to your jaw, tilting your head up to look at him.
“I don’t think we should talk about this tonight but I—“ You open your mouth to protest.
“I promise we can talk about it tomorrow when you’re sober—if you still want to.”
Your lip trembles of its own volition and you frown.
“Of course I want to.”
“Okay,”
“Okay.”
He gives your eyes a final wipe before he’s—rather unexpectedly—pulling you into a hug. You all but melt into him, your head finding its home in his sternum and your arms wrapping around his middle. He tilts his head down, kissing the top of your head—and you’re certain you can’t let this go again. You will chain him down before Spencer leaves this apartment again.
Everything is wordless from there—mostly because you’re so, so exhausted that even talking seems like too difficult a task. Spencer helps you find something more comfortable to change into and you pull out an old t-shirt of his and a pair of plaid pyjama pants you had kept here for him. I guess your keeping them ‘just in case you needed them in the future’ had come in handy, after all.
As you washed your face, Spencer snuck through to the kitchen, refilling your water and grabbing two aspirin in a not-so-subtle attempt to help the inevitable hangover you were going to have in the morning.
You caught him placing them on your bedside table and mock gasped.
“Trying to drug me in my sleep so you can make a run for it in the night?”
He grinned lazily—exhaustion creeping up on him as well.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
You smiled, flopping yourself onto your bed rather ungraciously. Spencer looked at you like you were something fascinating before biting his lip, clearly deep in thought.
“What?” You let out a self-effacing little chuckle.
“I was just…wondering…if you’d like me to sleep on the couch?”
You probably should’ve been more careful in your facial expressions considering you were still broken up but your thoughts about that offer were obvious.
“No, stay.” Stay in your bed, in your apartment—stay anywhere that was close to you.
Maybe you were coming on a little too strong.
“Unless you want to, I mean—“
“No, no—I’ll stay.” Forever, preferably.
He walked around to the other side of your bed—as he had done so many times before—and sat down, pulling the covers over his legs. You mirrored his movements before flicking your bedside lamp out, turning to face him.
You were a little thankful you were so out of it, because this had the potential to be very awkward otherwise. Spencer shuffled down so that he was at eye level with you, turning to face you as well.
You just stared for a moment, committing him to memory. The moonlight had a way of highlighting all the high points of his face, and the twinkle in his eyes, and—God, you were so glad the moon existed and that Spencer was in your bed that you couldn’t help but giggle.
“What?” Spencer laughed along with you, even though he had no idea what was so funny.
“Nothing. You’re pretty.”
“You’re drunk. Go to sleep.”
“Don’t wanna.”
“Why?”
“Scared you’ll be gone when I wake up—like I made it all up.”
Spencer’s smile faded then, and he looked at you with something that seemed so much like the one thing you had been willing yourself to stop doing the whole time that you’d been broken up, that it almost took your breath away.
“I won’t. I promised, didn’t I?”
You nodded.
“So there’s nothing to worry about. Now get some sleep, lovely.”
You smiled, feeling Spencer’s hand inching towards yours. He intertwined them and gave yours a squeeze.
“Just in case you make a run for it in the night.”
You chuckled, your eyelids fluttering shut. Yeah, you could make it work.
part two!
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dollgxtz · 2 months ago
Text
His Watchful Eye Pt.13
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Word Count: 18.2k
Tags: yandere!sylus, sylus x fem!reader, possession, forced pregnancy, unwanted pregnancy, tw if u have tokophobia, some smut, masturbation, forced orgasm, pet names like kitten, sweetie, honey, xavier appears, gunshot, slight bloodshed, attempted murder
Taglist: @ngh-ch-choso-ahhhh, @eliasxchocolate, @nozomiaj, @xmiisuki, @sylus-kitten, @its-regretti, @exorcxqsm, @ve1vet-cake, @letgobro, @starkeysslvt, @yarafic, @prince-nikko, @connorsui, @iluvmewwwww75, @biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer, @mysssticc, @babygirl-panda19, @someone-somewheres-stuff, @zaynesjasmine1, @honnylemontea, @altariasu, @sorryimakira, @pearlymel, @emidpsandia , @angel-jupiter, @hwangintakswifey, @webmvie, @housesortinghat, @shoruio, @gojos1ut, @solomonlover, @cheesenjam, @elegantnightblaze, @mavphorias, @babylavendersblog, @burntoutfrogacademic, @sinstae, @certainduckanchor, @ladyackermanisdead, @sh4nn, @milkandstarlight, @lilyadora, @depressedwhore, @nyumin, @kiwookse, @anisha24-blog1, @weepingluminarytale, @xxhayashixx, @hesperisms, @adraxsteia, @hargun-s @cayraeley, @xxfaithlynxx
AN: This is on A03! Sorry this took so long yall, I had a lot going on in my personal life! You guys get to find out the baby’s gender in this chapter so buckle up <33
“Why?” you manage to whisper, your voice barely audible. “Why would you show me something like this?” His gaze softens, and he leans closer, resting his forehead against yours. “Because I love you,” he says simply. “And I’ll never let anything take you from me. Nothing, not even death can keep us apart.”
Read Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9 Pt.10 Pt.11 Pt.12 Pt.14
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“You cheater!” Luke’s voice rang out, his mock outrage echoing through the living room.
“I am not! You just don’t know how to bluff!” Kieran shot back, motioning smugly as he held up his cards.
Their playful bickering was punctuated by the sound of your laughter, bright and unrestrained. “Oh, come on, Luke. Even I could see that bluff coming a mile away,” you teased, playfully nudging his arm.
From his office, Sylus heard every word through Mephisto’s watchful feed. The robotic crow perched unnoticed in the corner, its camera lens fixed on the lively scene. Sylus barely glanced at the open laptop on his desk, his attention locked on the display showing you sitting on the couch, basically sandwiched between his two henchmen.
He should have been reading the stack of files in front of him. Instead, he found himself captivated—and annoyed—by the scene unfolding in his living room. His grip tightened on the edge of his desk as he watched you laugh again, this time leaning closer to Luke.
His jaw clenched. That laugh. The one you’d been so stingy with around him lately. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t logical. But it stung to hear it so freely given to anyone else.
What was this feeling gnawing at him? Jealousy? Sylus almost scoffed at the thought. How absurd. How ridiculous. To feel envious of his own henchmen? Of Luke, who couldn’t bluff his way out of a paper bag, or Kieran, who treated life like one endless game? And yet, when he saw Luke’s body shift ever so close to yours as he dealt another hand, Sylus felt a flare of irritation that was hard to ignore.
Then you laughed again, harder this time, doubling over and putting a hand on Luke’s shoulder as he said something undoubtedly stupid. Sylus didn’t even hear the joke. He didn’t care. The sight of your hand lingering there for just a second too long made his chest tighten.
With a sharp motion, he snapped his laptop shut, the sound echoing through the quiet of his office. He couldn’t watch this anymore. His thoughts swirled as he rose from his chair, straightening his cuffs and adjusting his tie.
It wasn’t as though he distrusted Luke or Kieran. They were loyal, dependable—idiots, perhaps, but loyal ones. This wasn’t about them. No, this was about you. The way you laughed so easily with them. The way your guard seemed to drop just a little in their presence. The genuineness of your laugh.
Why did you never look at him like that?
He didn’t want to be thinking this way. He didn’t want to feel this irrational, suffocating jealousy. But the ache in his chest, the bitterness that twisted his thoughts, refused to be ignored.
Before he could talk himself out of it, Sylus made his way to the living room.
The energy in the room shifted the moment Sylus entered. His presence was a tangible thing, heavy and commanding, cutting through the casual warmth like a knife. Luke and Kieran stiffened immediately, their playful banter dying on their lips. Kieran subtly adjusted his posture, sitting up straighter, while Luke avoided Sylus’s gaze altogether, pretending to be very interested in his cards.
And you? You froze for just a fraction of a second, your smile fading as your eyes flicked to him. Then, as if remembering the role you were supposed to play, you quickly plastered on a fake smile and greeted him, “Sylus. I didn’t hear you come in.”
The sound of your voice, so polite, so calculated, made his chest ache. He hated the mask you wore around him. Hated that you still felt the need to pretend. And yet, seeing your fleeting moment of unease just before the mask slipped into place was enough to soothe his earlier jealousy—if only slightly.
Sylus’s gaze swept over the room, landing on Luke and Kieran, who were doing a poor job of hiding their discomfort. He couldn’t blame them. They weren’t stupid. They knew when they’d crossed an invisible line.
“Luke. Kieran.” His tone was calm, but the undercurrent of authority was unmistakable. “There’s something I need you to take care of for me. Now.”
Luke glanced at Kieran, and the two exchanged a silent look before nodding in unison. “Of course, boss,” Luke said quickly, already rising from the couch.
“What is it?” Kieran asked, his usual bravado tempered by the tension in the air.
Sylus didn’t elaborate. He simply fixed them with a pointed look, one that said, You don’t need to know. Just go. They got the message loud and clear.
Luke hesitated for half a second, glancing at you as if to say goodbye, but a sharp glance from Sylus sent him scurrying after Kieran. As the door closed behind them, Sylus felt a faint sense of satisfaction. The air in the room was quieter now, calmer.
It was just the two of you.
You leaned back on the couch, crossing your arms as you looked at him. “That seemed urgent,” you said, your tone light, but he could hear the faint edge beneath it.
Sylus tilted his head, studying you with a faint smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You seemed to be having fun.”
“I was,” you said simply, your expression unreadable.
Sylus’s gaze flickered to you as you shifted on the couch, adjusting the hem of your dress absentmindedly. The soft fabric stretched over the faint swell of your belly, a small but undeniable reminder of the life growing inside you—his child. His chest swelled with a mixture of pride and possessiveness as his eyes lingered on you. You were around 14 weeks now, well into the second trimester, and the subtle changes in your body were impossible to miss.
Yet, your next words snapped him out of his thoughts.
“When do you think Luke and Kieran will be back?” you asked casually, your tone light and conversational, but it struck Sylus like a slap. He kept his expression neutral, but inside, irritation flared.
Oh? So you’re eager for their company again? Why?
The question churned in his mind, and despite the years of self-control he’d mastered, it took effort to keep his irritation from showing. He tilted his head slightly, studying you with a small, unreadable smile. “I’m not sure,” he replied smoothly. “Why? Missing them already?”
The way you hesitated, your eyes darting to the side before giving a half-hearted shrug, only added fuel to the quiet storm brewing inside him. “They’re fun to be around,” you said, your voice nonchalant, but Sylus didn’t miss the faint trace of genuine fondness in your tone. It made his blood simmer, though he kept his composure.
Fun to be around? Was he not enough? Sylus’s jaw tightened imperceptibly as he kept his gaze steady on you. Had he been spending too much time away? Between overseeing Onychinus operations and ensuring your comfort, had he let too much distance form between you?
He exhaled slowly, keeping the irritation buried deep as he considered the past few weeks. Yes, he’d been away from you for longer stretches, monitoring operations and handling things you didn’t need to be involved in. But that was for your safety, for your comfort. And yet…was this the result? You sitting here, glowing in a dress he bought, carrying his child, but asking about them?
He’d seen it in the way you laughed with them, the way your walls seemed to come down just a little when they were around. They were playful, easygoing—no doubt filling some gap you felt in this new life. But you didn’t need them. You wanted a playmate? He was all you needed. And he’d make sure of it.
His gaze drifted back to the small curve of your belly, visible now even when you sat. The sight grounded him, softened the sharp edge of his irritation. There was no denying that he wanted to be closer to you. That he needed to be closer to you. Perhaps he hadn’t been as attentive as he should’ve been lately. Perhaps he needed to show you that you didn’t need anyone else.
“I see,” he said finally, his tone light but carrying an undertone of finality. “Well, I’ll make sure they’re not gone too long. But perhaps…” He paused, allowing himself a small smile as he leaned against the armrest of the couch, his gaze locking onto yours. “We should spend more time together, too. You and I.”
Your head tilted slightly, a flicker of surprise crossing your features before you masked it with a polite smile. “Sure,” you said softly, though your tone lacked the warmth he’d been hoping for. Still, it didn’t matter.
He waited, expecting you to say more, but when you didn’t, the silence between you grew heavier. Finally, Sylus broke it. “You spend a lot of time with them,” he said casually, though his voice was carefully controlled. “You never ask to spend time with me like that.”
You hesitated, glancing away. “Oh, well…” You trailed off, fidgeting with the hem of your sleeve. “You don’t seem like the kind of guy who plays card games, I guess.”
Sylus chuckled at that, a low sound that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Is that what you think of me?” he asked, his tone almost amused, though there was a distinct sharpness to it.
When you didn’t respond immediately, he let the silence stretch, studying you. The way your gaze flicked downward, your subtle shift in posture—every movement spoke volumes to him. You weren’t oblivious to the tension.
“I think,” he said finally, his voice dipping lower, “that you’re underestimating me, kitten.”
For a moment, you didn’t respond, your gaze fixed on a random spot on the floor. Then, you forced a small smile and looked up at him. “Maybe I am,” you said softly. "I just...know you get busy with running Onychinus. The twins are good company."
Sylus’s thoughts solidified as he watched you shift uncomfortably, his irritation fading into a calm resolve. Yes, you wanted company. He could give you that. He would give you everything you needed and more. Luke and Kieran’s involvement? That would be limited. They had their roles to play, but you were his. They didn’t belong in this picture the way he did.
His fingers twitched with the urge to reach out, to feel the baby growing inside you, to remind you that no one could provide for you the way he could. But instead, he straightened and adjusted his cuffs, his smile never faltering.
“You don’t need them,” he said, his voice soft and low, more to himself than to you. “I’m all you need.”
And he would make sure you believed it.
Sylus sat across from you, his gaze sharp, unwavering. He didn’t miss the irritation in your posture, the way your arms crossed defensively, or how you deliberately avoided looking at him. He let it slide, deciding to wait until the right moment to address it—or ignore it entirely. He reached into his pocket, retrieving a small bottle of pills. The sound of the capsules rattling against the plastic broke the tension in the room.
He watched as your eyes flicked to the bottle, curiosity sparking in your expression. "What’s that?" you asked, your tone laced with suspicion.
Sylus allowed a small, knowing smirk to tug at the corner of his lips. He raised the bottle slightly, watching your reaction as he spoke. "Prenatal vitamins," he said plainly, enjoying the flicker of confusion that crossed your face.
Your brows furrowed as you processed his words, and you reached for the bottle. Sylus, of course, pulled it back just out of your reach, a subtle power play he couldn’t help but indulge in. "Prenatals?" you repeated, your tone sharpening. "Shouldn’t I have been taking those a lot sooner?"
Sylus nodded, his expression softening. "Yes, you should have," he admitted, surprising even himself with the hint of vulnerability in his voice. “I didn’t want you taking any pills without being absolutely sure they were safe."
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his gaze locking onto yours. "I made sure everything you needed was in your meals instead," he continued, his voice calm but firm. He didn’t add how much work had gone into ensuring every bite you took was perfectly tailored for the baby’s growth. That wasn’t the point.
The point was that now it was time to adjust.
Your reaction was predictable. Annoyance flickered in your eyes, quickly replaced by a restrained sort of frustration as you processed his words. He could almost see you weighing your response, debating whether to argue or let it go.
Before you could choose, Sylus shifted in his seat, his voice lowering as he let the full weight of his authority settle into his tone. "From now on, you’re going to take these. Non-negotiable. Same rules as your meals."
He saw the moment you realized what he was about to say, the slight stiffening of your shoulders, the tightening of your jaw. Still, he said it anyway. "If you don’t, Xavier-."
"Stop," you snapped, cutting him off before he could elaborate. Your voice was sharp, laced with anger, and for a moment, Sylus was struck by how fierce you looked. Your hands were trembling slightly, but your glare was unwavering. "I don't want to hear about that."
He let the words hang in the air for a moment before leaning back, his expression unreadable. "Then don’t make it an issue," he said quietly, his tone lacking the edge it had held moments ago. He didn’t particularly enjoy making you upset, but he wouldn’t hesitate to do so if it meant ensuring the health of the baby.
You stared at him for a long moment, your emotions flashing across your face in quick succession—anger, frustration, and something softer, something he couldn’t quite place. Finally, you snatched the bottle from his hand, muttering a begrudging
"Okay."
Sylus tilted his head slightly, studying you as you turned away. He could see the tension in your shoulders, the way you gripped the bottle tightly in your hand as though it was the last thing in the world you wanted to hold. He could feel your resentment radiating off of you, and it hurt him a little. it wouldn't always be like this.
You'd eventually come to understand his strictness for the sake of the baby.
Sylus watched as you curled up on your side, facing away from him, clearly making a pointed effort to ignore him. His lips curved into a faint smile. It was...endearing, in its own way—this little display of attitude. He leaned back against the couch, his arms resting casually on the cushions. He could chalk it up to your hormones, or perhaps just a passing mood, but either way, it didn’t bother him as much as it intrigued him. You were becoming bolder these days, and he wasn’t entirely sure whether to find it amusing or concerning.
His gaze softened slightly, taking in the sight of your belly against the fabric of your dress. The sight tempered his initial urge to tease you further. He leaned forward slightly, his voice calm but firm.
"Now that that's out of the way, what do you want for lunch?"
You didn’t answer, your silence deliberate and pointed. Sylus arched an eyebrow, watching the way your body tensed as if bracing for some unseen battle. A flicker of amusement played across his features. It was like you were daring him to push harder, to pry the answer from you.
He let the silence stretch for a moment, studying you. Then, leaning back into the couch, he crossed one leg over the other, his tone softening as he tried again.
"Sweetie," he said, his voice low and coaxing, "don’t pretend you didn’t hear me. I asked you a question."
You shifted slightly, and for a moment, it seemed like you might continue ignoring him. But then you turned over abruptly, fixing him with a glare sharp enough to cut glass.
"What?!" you snapped, your tone edged with irritation.
Sylus arched his eyebrow higher, his expression cool and measured as he held your gaze. His silence was deliberate, calculated—a quiet reminder for you to rethink your tone. He didn’t need to say anything. The weight of his gaze was enough.
You faltered almost immediately, your defiance softening as you glanced away, your face tinged with frustration and what might have been embarrassment.
"Sorry," you muttered, the apology reluctant but still sincere enough to pacify him.
Sylus let the moment linger before nodding, his expression easing as he leaned forward slightly. "It’s okay," he said, his voice gentle now. "Just tell me what you want to eat."
You sighed, curling in on yourself a bit more, your knees pulled closer to your chest. Well...as much as you could anyway. Your hand absently moved to your stomach, a gesture that caught Sylus’s attention. He watched the way your fingers brushed over the curve, your touch almost absentminded but protective.
"Something light," you murmured finally, your voice quieter now, almost tentative. "My stomach hurts...French onion soup. And the chai tea the chef made last time."
Sylus considered your request for a moment, taking in the way you avoided his gaze, the subtle downturn of your lips. You were still moody, clearly uncomfortable, but there was something vulnerable about the way you were curled up like that. He felt the faintest pang of sympathy—or perhaps fondness.
Reaching out, he brushed his fingers gently over your shoulder, the touch brief but deliberate. "French onion soup and chai tea," he repeated, his tone soft and warm. "I’ll let the chef know."
He straightened, standing to his full height, and smoothed the front of his shirt with practiced ease. "Just rest, kitten. I'll handle it." His voice held a note of authority, but the underlying affection was unmistakable.
As he moved toward the kitchen to speak to the chef, he glanced back at you once more. You’d turned away again, but this time, your movements seemed less defiant, more resigned. The corner of his mouth lifted in a faint smile. Your moods were a puzzle, but they were a puzzle he was growing fond of solving.
You glanced at him briefly, a flicker of something grateful passing across your face before you looked away again. Sylus allowed himself a small, satisfied smile, feeling the odd mix of protectiveness and amusement that you often stirred in him.
Your moodiness didn't surprise him though, in fact, he quite enjoyed being on the other end of your feistiness. You reminded him of a kitten hissing at its owner only to ask for pets and food right after. You could snap, glare, even ignore him, but in the end, you still depended on him. He would always ensure you had what you needed, no matter how stubborn or sullen you became.
His steps slowed again as he noticed your figure slumped slightly, your head resting against the plush cushions. You had fallen asleep, the soft rise and fall of your chest confirming that another wave of pregnancy-induced exhaustion had overtaken you.
A faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips. You’d been napping more and more lately, another symptom of the life growing inside you. It was amusing in a way—how quickly you could go from irritated to fast asleep. He made a mental note to wake you up before the food was ready. He didn’t want your soup going cold.
Going back over to you, he grabbed a blanket from the armchair of the couch, and gently covered you before making his leave.
As he entered the kitchen, Sylus gave the chef specific instructions on your meal, detailing everything from the flavor of the chai tea to the amount of sodium in the soup. He wasn’t one for micromanaging in most cases, but when it came to your comfort, he left nothing to chance.
Satisfied, Sylus made his way down the hall to meet with Luke and Kieran. The twins were waiting in the den, their expressions shifting the moment he walked in. Luke scratched the back of his head, his usual easy demeanor replaced with something sheepish, while Kieran gripped his hands together as though he was ready to say something but hadn’t quite mustered the courage.
Sylus arched an eyebrow, stepping closer. “Something on your minds?”
Luke cleared his throat, shuffling slightly. “Uh, boss...about earlier...” He avoided eye contact, his voice lower than usual. “I wanted to apologize for...getting too close.”
Sylus’s gaze narrowed slightly, studying Luke’s awkward stance. He knew exactly what the man was referring to, and while Sylus appreciated the apology, it didn’t erase the irritation that lingered in the back of his mind.
Kieran stepped in, his tone more matter-of-fact. “And, uh, we’ve got an update. Finally caught a lead on the guy we’ve been tracking.”
Sylus’s expression shifted at the mention, his focus sharpening instantly. During his two-week trip, he’d been following every scrap of information about the human trafficking ring, determined to see it dismantled. Exterminated every pest involved possible. But the ringleader had proved elusive, vanishing without a single trace after Reese’s death.
“And?” Sylus prompted, his tone calm but expectant.
Kieran exchanged a glance with Luke before continuing. “We traced a connection back to Reese. Turns out, the bastard’s father isn’t happy about his son dying. He’s been sniffing around, looking for answers.”
Sylus let out a short laugh, the sound cold and humorless. “His father, huh? Funny. Didn’t seem to care much about his precious son when he left him to rot in that old house surrounded by crack.”
The twins didn’t respond immediately, though Kieran’s let out a faint laugh at Sylus’s remark. Luke shifted uncomfortably, his hands tucked into his pockets as if unsure whether to laugh or remain serious.
Sylus crossed his arms, his mind churning through the implications. So, the ringleader wasn’t completely off the grid after all. His son’s death had stirred him into action, but whether out of vengeance or a twisted sense of pride, Sylus didn’t care. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that this lead could be the break they’d been waiting for.
“Do we have a possible location?” Sylus asked, his voice sharp with intent. "Any information on the woman?"
“No location,” Kieran admitted, his tone tinged with frustration. “But it’s only a matter of time. We’ve got eyes on his usual contacts. The woman responsible for the blood draws...her name is Serene Grey. Twenty six years old, originally from Snowcrest. Father is Adam Grey, former chief medical officer of Asko Hospital. Has a brother that works at Asko as well by the name of Noah Grey."
"Upon digging for more info on Noah, we discovered he actually works for E.V.E.R as...head researcher."
Sylus nodded, the gears turning in his mind as he considered the next steps. Reese had been an obstacle, an annoyance at best. His father would likely prove more challenging—but Sylus welcomed the opportunity. If the man was bold enough to seek revenge, he would find nothing but destruction waiting for him.
As for the woman....this was getting interesting.
“We'll pay a visit to her old man soon,” Sylus instructed, his tone firm. “And Luke?”
“Yeah, boss?” Luke replied, his shoulders stiffening slightly.
Sylus fixed him with a pointed look. “Don't let it happen again.”
Luke nodded quickly, muttering a hasty, “Got it.”
They further discussed some details and with that, Sylus dismissed them, his thoughts already shifting back to you. As he made his way back toward the living room, he glanced at his watch. The food would be ready soon, and he wanted to wake you gently. You might not realize it yet, but your comfort and safety were his top priorities—and he would ensure they stayed that way.
When Sylus stepped back into the living room, you were still curled on the couch where he’d left you, your figure bundled into a loose throw blanket, your breathing slow and even as you napped. His chest tightened as he paused to look at you, taking in the subtle changes in your form—the swell of your belly, the softness in your expression as you slept.
It was almost too peaceful to disturb, but he knew the chef would soon be done with the food. You needed to eat, and he wouldn’t let your soup grow cold, not when you’d been struggling to keep anything down for weeks prior.
He knelt beside the couch, his hand reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair from your face. “Honey” he murmured softly, his tone low and coaxing. “It’s time to wake up.”
A faint groan escaped you, your brows furrowing as you shifted under the blanket. Your eyes fluttered open halfway, barely registering him as you burrowed deeper into the cushions, your face half-hidden.
“Go away,” you mumbled, your voice muffled and thick with sleep.
Sylus smirked, resting his arm along the edge of the couch as he leaned closer. “Come on, kitten. You’ve been asleep for a while. The food’s almost ready.”
“Don’t want food anymore,” you muttered, turning your head away from him. “I want to sleep.”
He chuckled, the sound warm and indulgent. “Well I'm sure the little one wants food. You'll be irritated later too if you don't eat now.”
You huffed, clutching the edge of the blanket like a shield. “I’m not a baby, Sylus. I can decide if I’m hungry or not.”
“Mm, not a baby, but you sure whine like one when you’re woken up,” he teased, his hand lightly stroking your arm through the blanket. “You’re making this harder than it needs to be, you know.”
You cracked one eye open, glaring at him with as much annoyance as you could muster in your half-asleep state. “You’re annoying.”
“And you’re adorable,” he replied, his voice softening as he leaned closer. “Now, come on. Sit up for me. Let’s not make a fuss.”
You sighed dramatically, but ultimately shift to a sitting position. With a groan, you pushed yourself up, the blanket slipping down your shoulders as you blinked groggily at him.
“See? Not so bad,” he said, his tone soothing as his hand found the small of your back, steadying you. “You’re doing so well, kitten. I’m proud of you.”
The words seemingly caught you off guard, your sleep-fogged mind taking a moment to process them. You gave him a half-hearted glare, though the obvious nervousness in your demeanor gave you away.
“Don’t patronize me,” you mumbled, brushing your hair out of your face.
“I’m not,” he said, his expression softening further. “You're growing a baby, its a lot of stress on the body. It’s okay to need rest, but you need to eat too. Let me take care of you.”
His words, though tender, only seemed to add to your frustration. You didn’t want to need him, didn’t want to rely on his care. That much was obvious. But he hoped you were going to start realizing how much you needed him as time passed and your body grew heavier.
“Fine,” you muttered, folding your arms over your chest as you leaned back against the couch. “Not like I have much choice.”
His lips quirked into a small smile as he brushed his fingers against your cheek, his touch gentle and reassuring. “I’ll take that as a thank you.”
You rolled your eyes, but Sylus didn't miss the tiniest of smiles that appeared on your lips before it disappeared just as quickly. He felt his heart flutter at the sight of it. Was it genuine? Did he actually manage to make you smile genuinely?
“Wait here,” he said, rising to his feet. “I’ll bring the food over when it’s ready. Don’t fall back asleep on me, alright?”
Sylus glanced back over his shoulder as he stepped into the kitchen, his sharp eyes catching the way you shifted on the couch. You hadn’t quite settled back under the blanket, but you looked like you were contemplating it, your hand absently brushing over the soft fabric.
A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. You could be stubborn, but there was something about these moments—the quiet vulnerability you tried so hard to mask—that softened him in ways he didn’t expect.
“She’s exhausted,” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than anyone else as he reached for the tray the chef had prepared. “And moody as hell.”
But even as he said it, there was no trace of annoyance in his voice. If anything, there was a quiet fondness, an odd warmth that settled in his chest. He didn’t mind your little barbs, your occasional defiance. It kept things interesting, kept him on his toes.
What bothered him more than your sharp tongue was the exhaustion he’d seen in your eyes, the weight you carried despite his efforts to make things easier for you. He knew he couldn’t fix everything—not all at once—but he could do this much. He could make sure you ate, rested, and had everything you needed.
Carrying the tray back into the living room, he found you still sitting upright, albeit reluctantly, your gaze flicking toward him as he approached.
“There we go,” he said, setting the tray down on the table in front of you. “Just like you asked—French onion soup and chai tea. All exactly how you like it.”
You didn’t respond immediately, your expression a mix of irritation and reluctant gratitude as you reached for the tea.
Sylus knelt beside the couch, his hand resting on the armrest as he looked up at you, his tone softening into a laugh. “You’ll feel less moody once you eat.”
He meant it, not just about the food, but about everything. He would keep at it, keep working to wear down the walls you’d put up between you. He had time, after all.
"Yeah yeah...whatever...".
As he watched you take your first tentative sip of tea, a quiet determination settled in him. He didn’t necessarily need your approval—not yet, anyway—but he wanted it. He would earn it. Slowly, steadily, he would prove to you that this wasn’t just about the baby.
This was about you too.
The days had started blending together, each one marked by the strange chaos your body seemed determined to throw your way. For the most part, the nausea had subsided—thank God for that small mercy—but other symptoms had eagerly taken its place. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt so achy, so irritable, so out of control. Your body didn’t feel like yours anymore, and the thought made your chest tighten if you lingered on it for too long.
The bump was the worst reminder. It wasn’t big yet, not obvious to anyone but you and Sylus, but every time you caught your reflection or brushed your hand against your stomach, it was there. An unignorable swell that seemed to grow more pronounced with each passing day.
Is it too early for this? you wondered earlier that evening, turning sideways in the bathroom mirror. You’d stared at the slight curve with a mixture of denial and disbelief. Shouldn’t I be smaller at sixteen weeks? The idea that your body might be working faster than normal made your stomach churn, but you shoved the thought aside. You couldn’t afford to let paranoia swallow you whole.
Still, the changes were hard to ignore. Your moods swung like a pendulum, flipping between cranky, melancholic, and just plain tired. And then there was the neediness—a subtle, insidious thing that snuck up on you when you weren’t expecting it. It wasn’t just the way you barked orders at Sylus, demanding more tea or a specific meal; it was how much you found yourself leaning on him, sometimes without even realizing it. He seemed to thrive on it, which only made it worse.
Sometimes you caught yourself bossing him around just to test the limits of his patience. But when he didn’t snap, when he indulged your whims with that strange mixture of love and affection, you hated how grateful you felt. It was annoying. Frustrating. And a little comforting, though you’d never admit it to him.
“This tea is cold,” you say flatly, setting the cup down on the table in front of you with a soft clink.
Sylus glances up from his seat across the room, where he’s casually flipping through files. He quirks an eyebrow at you. “Cold already? Didn’t I just bring that to you?”
You cross your arms, leaning back against the couch cushions. “And yet, here we are. Cold tea.”
He chuckles under his breath, setting the files aside and standing. “Since when did I become your butler?”
“Blame your baby,” you say, giving him a tired but pointed look. “I didn’t ask to feel like this, you know. The least you can do is keep my tea warm.”
He smirks, picking up the cup and holding it up as if weighing it. “You know, I could just let you drink it as is. Room temperature isn’t so bad.”
You glare at him, narrowing your eyes. “Sylus...”
There’s a beat of silence, and then he laughs softly, shaking his head as he heads to the kitchen. “Anything for you, sweetie,” he says over his shoulder, his tone dripping with smugness.
When he returns with the reheated tea, he hands it to you, his gaze lingering on your face. “Better?”
You take a sip, giving a small nod. “For now.”
“For now?” he repeats, amusement flickering in his voice.
You shrug, feigning nonchalance. “I might need a refill later.”
Sylus leans against the arm of the couch, watching you with an almost infuriatingly amused expression. “Anything else, kitten? Or are you just going to keep ordering me around all day?”
“Well…” you pause, shifting slightly and pretending to mull it over. “A pillow for my back wouldn’t hurt.”
He doesn’t move at first, just stares at you with a grin that’s both indulgent and teasing. “You’ve got quite the list it seems.”
“I’m pregnant, remember?” you reply sharply, looking him square in the eye. “That was your idea. So now you get to deal with it.”
He chuckles again, shaking his head as he grabs a pillow from the other chair and places it behind your back with surprising gentleness.
“There,” he says, his tone mockingly sweet. “Anything else, or am I allowed to sit down now?”
You smirk, taking another sip of tea. “I’ll let you know.”
Sylus leans down, his lips curling into a smirk just inches from your ear. “You’re lucky you’re cute when you’re like this,” he murmurs, before straightening and sitting back in his chair, his smugness still palpable.
“And you're lucky my tea is warm now” you quip again, enjoying the brief flicker of surprise in his eyes before he bursts into quiet laughter.
For now, you’ve won this small battle—and it feels pretty good.
Tonight, though, that confidence was nowhere to be found. You woke up drenched in sweat, your back aching as you tried to stretch out against the mattress. The room felt stifling, like the air was pressing down on you, and your throat was parched, so dry it felt like sandpaper. Your breasts, now twice the size they normally were, ached. Your back didn't feel any better. Your stomach felt like it was on fire. You groaned, reaching blindly for the glass of water on the nightstand, only to find it empty.
“Ugh, seriously?” you muttered, rolling over to look across the room. Sylus was there, sitting in his usual chair with a book in his lap. He looked calm, almost serene in the dim light, and for a moment you hated him for it.
“Sylus,” you called weakly, your voice hoarse. He glanced up, his eyes softening when they met yours.
“Hmm?”
“Water. I need more water,” you said, your voice bordering on a whine.
“I’ll get it in a bit, sweetie,” he replied, not moving from his seat.
You blinked at him, disbelief turning quickly to anger. “Please do it now. I feel like I’m gonna die of thirst!” you snapped, your voice breaking slightly as frustration bubbled up inside you.
Sylus raised an eyebrow but still didn’t move, clearly not taking your outburst too seriously. “You’re not going to die,” he said with a faint chuckle.
That did it. Hot tears welled up in your eyes before you could stop them, spilling over as a sob broke from your throat. “You don’t get it! I’m fucking thirsty, and I’m sweating like crazy, and my back hurts, and—”
Your voice cracked, and you covered your face with your hands, tears spilling between your fingers as you sob. Sylus was on his feet immediately, crossing the room to kneel beside you.
“Okay, okay,” he said softly, his hands brushing yours aside to reveal your tear-streaked face. “I’m sorry. I’ll get your water right now, alright?”
You sniffled, nodding miserably as he stroked your cheek with surprising tenderness. He really was being more lenient with you. He stood and disappeared into the adjoining bathroom, returning moments later with a freshly filled glass.
“Here,” he said, handing it to you as you struggled to sit up. “Drink slowly.”
You did as he said, the cool water soothing your throat and easing some of the heat in your chest. When you handed the glass back, Sylus sat beside you, his gaze warm and amused.
“You’re being extra fussy tonight, kitten” he teased gently, brushing a strand of hair from your damp forehead.
“Shut up,” you mumbled, turning your face into the pillow to hide your embarrassment. You hate him. You hate him. You hate him. Stupid pregnancy hormones.
He chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple. “It’s okay to be fussy,” he murmured. “You’re allowed to feel however you need to feel. I'm here, and I promise I'll move faster.”
You didn’t respond, your exhaustion pulling you back toward sleep. But as you drifted off, you couldn’t help but feel a small, grudging sense of gratitude for him. The situation was still awful...but at the very least he was helpful more often than not.
As the days drag on...something else begins to get harder and harder to ignore. It starts in your chest, spreading lower like a slow burn, and you shift in your seat, trying to shake the feeling off. There’s no reason for this. You’re just tired, emotional—pregnancy hormones doing what they do best. And yet, the ache persists, coiling in your stomach, a dull and relentless reminder of something you don’t want to acknowledge.
You curl your legs beneath you, drawing your arms around your knees as if the action alone could protect you from the thoughts creeping into your mind. Thoughts of warmth. Of touch.
It’s pathetic, really. You’ve spent every waking moment fighting against Sylus’s suffocating presence, building walls to keep yourself sane, and now your own body is betraying you. A part of you craves the very thing you swore you’d never ask for.
The realization hits you hard, and your fists clench against your knees. You’re horny. There’s no other way to describe it. The longing has burrowed into your core, gnawing at your resolve, and it’s almost unbearable.
Your lips press into a thin line as an image flashes in your mind—Sylus’s broad chest, the toned muscle beneath his shirts that you’ve tried so hard to ignore. The memory of his deep voice rumbles in your ears, soothing and infuriating all at once. You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to force the image away, but it lingers, like an unwelcome guest taking up residence in your thoughts.
You shake your head violently, gripping the pillow behind you as though it’s a lifeline. No. Absolutely not. You’re not doing this. You’re not going there. You won’t let yourself fall into this trap, no matter how loud the ache screams inside you.
Sylus is attractive. Objectively, maddeningly so. That fact you can’t deny, but it doesn’t erase the monster he is. The outside may look like something out of a magazine—perfectly crafted to draw you in—but the inside? That’s where the truth lies. Beneath that chiseled exterior is someone who has taken everything from you, someone who thrives on control, who manipulates and twists and owns every space he inhabits.
And yet…
Your hands shake slightly as you rub at your temples, the guilt swelling alongside the ache. How could you even entertain this? How could you feel something—anything—that even bordered on desire for him? It feels like a betrayal of yourself, of everything you’ve endured.
You glance toward the other side of the room, where Sylus sits, his long legs stretched out as he reads something on his tablet. He'd been oddly quiet this morning. He’s entirely unaware of the storm raging inside you, his calm, confident aura infuriatingly unshaken.
You can’t do this. You can’t let this get the better of you. Whatever this feeling is, it’s nothing more than hormones. You’ll fight it, like you fight everything else. Because no matter how tempting his warmth might seem in this moment, you know better.
The outside may be beautiful, but the inside is rotten. And you refuse to let yourself forget that.
Fighting it proved to be harder than you thought though. You found yourself drifting into indecent thoughts about Sylus despite how hard you were trying to distract yourself. And while it seemed he was none the wiser, you couldn't let yourself be caught. So...you come up with a plan. Its simple. Just wait for him to leave for awhile. Then you can find relief. No doubt he'll end up taking Mephisto with him, and the twins never enter without knocking first.
Yes. Simple...
With finally Sylus gone on one of his many business endeavors, the silence of the room beckons you, offering a rare moment to chase the relief you crave. You lie back on the bed, your breath shallow, heart racing with anticipation and desperation. Your hands move with a familiar urgency to your heat, seeking to quell the storm of emotions raging inside you.
You close your eyes, trying to summon the faces from the flickering screens of porn you once watched, fantasies that used to bring you to blissful release. Yet now, they feel hollow, like echoes in a cavernous void.
Xavier's face appears unbidden, a ghostly specter that twists your heart with longing and pain. You shove the image aside, unwilling to let it linger, to let it hurt you more than it already has. The more you fight against it, the more the ache in your core swells, an insatiable beast that refuses to be tamed.
Your fingers move against your aching clit with increasing urgency, but the pleasure you seek dances just out of reach, a cruel mirage. Frustration mounts, your body tense with the effort of chasing a release that remains elusive. Each attempt feels more futile than the last, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you strain against the confines of your own mind.
It feels as if your body has turned traitor, mocking you with its stubborn refusal to yield. The need is a fire burning inside, consuming you from the inside out, leaving you raw and exposed. A low, guttural cry escapes your lips, a sound echoing in the empty room, testament to your solitary struggle.
Your hand falls away, defeated, your body still thrumming with that desperate ache. It remains, a relentless reminder of your captivity, both within these walls and within yourself.
Why can't you finish? This should be easy...is it nerves? Maybe the trauma you've been through is making this difficult? It has to be. No way in hell that bastard stole your ability to orgasm. You try and try for what seems like forever, growing increasingly frustrated with each failed attempt at reaching bliss.
Come on, just… just relax. It's just your body. Don't think about it. Don't think about him. Don't think about why you're even in this situation. Just…
Red eyes. Sharp jaw. Deep voice. Chiseled abs. Your mind begins to swim with him and you hate it. You hate it so much and yet as if your fingers have a mind of their own you begin to actually feel immense satisfaction at the thought of his face.
How did it come to this? A prisoner in your own body, at the mercy of a monster. And now, this…this ache that refuses to subside ? It's like your body is betraying you, craving touch, any touch, even as your mind screams in revolt.
"You could've just asked for my help."
You snap up, pulse quickening as Sylus comes into view in the doorway, watching as if he just caught a mouse in a trap. A small smile plastered on his face as he takes in the disheveled state of your body.
His voice is smooth, dripping with a confidence that makes your skin crawl even as it sends a shiver down your spine. He steps into the room, closing the door behind him, the air charged with his presence.
"Get out," you snap, trying to muster defiance, but your voice betrays you, laced with a tremor of desperation. You snap your legs together as he draws closer to the bed.
Sylus chuckles softly, moving closer with a predator's grace. "Stressing yourself isn't good for the baby, honey" he murmurs, as if offering a kindness. He sits beside you, his gaze assessing, the weight of his attention a tangible force.
"Open your legs. Let me help you."
Your heart races, every nerve in your body on edge as he reaches out, brushing your hand aside with a gentle insistence. His touch ignites a war within you, your mind screaming in protest even as your traitorous body responds with a shiver of anticipation.
He gently but firmly pushes your legs furthur apart and slides down to circle your clit with his thumb.
You loathe him, despise the power he holds over you, yet the heat of his fingers against your sensitive clit sends a jolt of pleasure through you, sharp and undeniable. His touch is maddening, a mix of precision and pressure that leaves you gasping, your back arching involuntarily against the thin mattress.
"Stop," you breathe, a plea tangled with a moan, your body at odds with your will. But he ignores you, his fingers moving with a practiced expertise that draws reluctant cries of pleasure from your lips.
"Ah! Mghn..."
You hate this. But your body loves it. You try and push yourself back against the headboard, further away from his hand but he just follows, even going as far to take his free hand and pin you down by your chest, ceasing any further struggle to get away.
No. No. No. No.
Sylus's touch is gentle, yet insistent, coaxing a response from your body. You try to resist, to will yourself into numbness, but it's no use. Your clit pulses under his fingers, the sensation building, growing, until you're on the cusp of orgasm.
"You're fighting it, kitten" he whispers, leaning closer, his breath warm against your ear. "Let go."
The words are a dark caress, and despite the hatred simmering beneath your skin, the relentless pleasure he coaxes from you drags you towards a precipice you can't deny. Tension coils in your belly, tighter and tighter, until it snaps, a white-hot explosion of sensation that leaves you trembling and breathless.
You lay there, shattered and whole, the aftermath of your climax a bittersweet balm against the reality of your captivity. Sylus withdraws his hand, leaving you bereft and aching, a reminder of your betrayal by your own desires.
Sylus watches you carefully, his gaze soft yet piercing as he strokes your cheek with deliberate tenderness. His fingers brush away the stray tears slipping down your face, and his voice drops to a near whisper, low and soothing as he leans in close.
“That feels better, doesn’t it, sweetie?” he murmurs, his lips brushing against yours in the gentlest of kisses.
Your breath catches, shame clawing at your chest like a vice. A fresh wave of tears wells in your eyes, spilling over as his words echo in your ears. How could you let this happen again?
You nod.
The warmth of his arms encircles you, his presence overwhelming yet inescapable. Every part of you screams to push him away, to reclaim some piece of yourself, but you can’t move. You’re frozen in his hold, trapped between the comfort he offers and the revulsion that churns in your stomach.
Sylus shifts slightly, his hands moving with care as he adjusts your clothes, ensuring every part of you is covered once again. His touch is meticulous, deliberate, as though he’s putting the pieces back together, though you know he’s the one who broke them in the first place.
You don’t resist. You don’t say a word. The tears flow silently as he presses a kiss to your temple, his lips lingering there for a moment too long.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers, cradling you closer, his voice laced with something you can’t quite decipher—satisfaction, maybe, or perhaps something deeper. “Just let it out.”
And you do. Because there’s no one else. No one else to turn to. No one else to hold you in this moment, no matter how much you wish it weren’t him.
Sylus’s arms tighten around you, his steady heartbeat pressing against your own, a cruel reminder of how much power he holds over you. He reaches down and caresses the now very obvious curve of your pregnant belly. This is what he wants. The realization strikes you like a blow to the gut, but it doesn’t change the reality.
He’s made it very clear: there’s no one else.
The tears continue to fall, the weight of your shame and helplessness crashing over you. The relief, the longing to hold him close, the urge to shove him away. It all swirls in your head and escapes in the form of wet tears. And Sylus holds you through it all, his presence consuming, suffocating, and maddeningly inescapable.
The days following that night are...strange. You can’t quite put your finger on it. There’s no anger bubbling beneath the surface, no fire demanding you lash out or rebel in some small, insignificant way. You just feel...drained. Exhausted. It’s as though the pregnancy has drained you of everything, leaving you with only enough energy to exist in this fragile limbo.
You avoid Sylus more than usual, though it’s impossible to fully escape him. He notices, of course—he always does. His eyes track your every movement, his brow furrowing in concern each time you pass him with barely a word.
“Are you feeling sick again?” he asks one evening, leaning against the doorway of the library where you’ve buried yourself in a pile of books you aren’t even reading. His voice is softer than usual, tinged with something almost like worry. “Do you want anything?”
You shake your head quickly, not looking up. “No. I’m fine. The pregnancy’s just...taking its toll, that’s all.”
It’s a half-truth. Physically, the changes to your body are draining—your back aches constantly, your feet swell more than you’d like to admit, and your appetite has become a ravenous, insatiable beast. But none of that is what’s really bothering you. No, what keeps you quiet and withdrawn is something you can’t even begin to say aloud.
You’re scared.
Scared of the way your heart stutters when Sylus brushes past you. Scared of the way your pulse quickens when his hand lingers on your lower back or brushes your cheek. Scared of the heat that rushes to your face when you see him changing, his toned chest and sharp features invading your thoughts in ways you don’t want them to.
Why is this happening? You hate him. You hate what he’s done, how he’s stolen everything from you. So why does your stomach flutter when he smiles at you? Why do you find yourself leaning into his touches before you even realize it?
It’s confusing, maddening, and you can’t let yourself dwell on it. So you don’t. You shove those feelings down, deep enough that they can’t reach you.
Instead, you turn to food. It’s one of the only things that makes sense anymore, one of the few sources of comfort that doesn’t terrify you. But tonight, nothing in the house appeals to you. Not the chef’s carefully crafted meals, not the endless trays of snacks Sylus insists on having ready for you. No, you want something specific—something from a bakery back in Linkon. Its a craving that's been bothering you for awhile.
You sit on the couch, fidgeting with the hem of your dress, working up the courage to ask. It feels ridiculous, but eventually, you can’t help yourself.
“Sylus?” you say softly, glancing over at him.
He looks up immediately, his piercing gaze locking onto you. “Yes, sweetie?”
You hesitate for a moment before blurting it out. “I...I want a dessert. From a bakery in Linkon.”
His brows furrow slightly, a mix of suspicion and curiosity playing on his face. “Why there? The chef can make you anything you want.”
“It’s...it won’t be the same,” you insist, trying to sound casual. “The baby wants that specific one.”
At that, Sylus chuckles, the deep sound sending an irritating warmth through you. “The baby wants it? Or you?”
You bite your lip, refusing to meet his gaze. “Both.”
He smiles slightly, studying you for a moment longer, his expression unreadable, before nodding. “Alright. I’ll get it for you soon. I think I have an idea of which one you're talking about”
The words catch you off guard, and before you can stop yourself, you murmur, “Thank you.”
Sylus smiles, clearly pleased with your response, but you can’t help the heavy feeling in your chest. Thanking him...for a danish. The irony isn’t lost on you. This man has stolen everything from you—your freedom, your life as you knew it—and yet here you are, expressing gratitude over something as trivial as a pastry.
It didn't shock you that he already knew the bakery you were talking about. He had stalked you for quite awhile. Of course he knew.
Nothing was a secret with him. He always knew.
You turn your face away, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach as Sylus leans back in his chair, content. And once again, you’re left alone with your thoughts, spiraling in the confusion and bitterness of it all.
Later that day, Sylus presents you with the danish you’d requested, the golden pastry nestled neatly on a small plate. Its flaky layers glisten under the soft light, and the smell alone—warm, buttery, and slightly tangy—makes your mouth water. You can tell he’s proud of himself, standing there as if awaiting praise.
“A lemon-raspberry danish,” he says with a slight grin, watching as you reach for it.
You hesitantly pick it up, the texture soft under your fingers, and take a cautious bite. The tangy sweetness of the raspberry filling bursts against your tongue, perfectly balanced by the buttery flakiness of the pastry and the sharp zest of lemon. It’s exactly how you remembered it—nostalgic, comforting, and bittersweet all at once.
The flavors transport you to a memory you hadn’t revisited in a long time. You and Tara sitting on the steps outside that very bakery in Linkon, sharing a box of pastries. It was a sunny afternoon, the kind that made the city feel alive in the best way. Tara had just finished a long rant about some guy who ghosted her after three dates, her dramatic hand gestures making you laugh so hard you nearly choked on your own danish.
“Seriously, if he’s not texting back, it’s his loss. You’re too good for him anyway,” you’d said between bites, nudging her with your shoulder.
“Oh, stop. You’re only saying that because I shared my last danish with you,” Tara teased, swiping at a smudge of powdered sugar on her lip.
The two of you had laughed until your sides hurt, the world feeling light and uncomplicated in a way it hadn’t in a long time.
But as the memory fades, your smile falters. No doubt Sylus had been watching then too—stalking, waiting. His shadow had been there even in your happiest moments, lurking unseen, ready to strike when you least expected it. A wave of nausea creeps up your spine as the realization settles in. Your grip on the danish tightens for a moment, then slackens as tears prick at your eyes.
Just as you’re about to take another bite, something strange happens. A sudden flutter in your stomach, light and quick like a butterfly’s wings. You gasp audibly, your fingers losing their hold on the danish, sending it tumbling to the floor.
Sylus’s brows knit together in confusion as he steps closer. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
You press a trembling hand to your stomach, your heart racing as you feel it again—another flutter, faint but undeniable. “I—I think…the baby moved,” you whisper, barely able to process the words as they leave your mouth.
Sylus’s eyes widen, his gaze immediately dropping to your bump. The softness in his expression surprises you, and when he speaks, his voice is uncharacteristically gentle. “Can I feel?” he asks, his hand hovering uncertainly over your stomach, not quite touching.
You hesitate, your mind a chaotic mix of emotions. Do you even have a choice? You swallow hard, nodding slowly. “Yes…sure. Go ahead.”
His large hand presses carefully against the curve of your belly, warm and steady. The room falls silent, the air thick with anticipation as neither of you move, waiting for something to happen. Then, there it is again—a faint, fleeting flutter, like the soft brush of a feather.
Sylus’s face lights up with unmistakable joy, his grin wide and unguarded. For a brief moment, he looks almost boyish, overcome with awe and excitement. “Did you feel that?” he asks, his voice just above a whisper, as if speaking too loudly might scare the baby away.
You nod, still in shock, your hand joining his on your bump instinctively. “I did,” you murmur, your thoughts a whirlwind. It feels so surreal, this moment of connection with the life growing inside you.
“It’s the sugar,” Sylus explains, his tone light and filled with a wonder you’d never seen in him before. “I read somewhere that babies tend to move more when their mothers eat something sweet. It must’ve gotten a rush from that danish.”
You glance up at him, his eyes still glued to your stomach, and for a moment, you see nothing but pure, unfiltered happiness. It leaves you feeling...confused. While Sylus basks in the moment, your own feelings remain a tangled mess of shock, fear, and something you don’t dare name.
The words tumbled out of your mouth almost unconsciously:
"That’s cool."
Cool? Cool was not the word. It wasn’t even close. You were reeling, overwhelmed by the undeniable reality. It’s alive. It’s real. The bump you’d been trying to push out of your thoughts, the changes to your body, the way your emotions and cravings had pulled you in so many directions—it all had culminated in this undeniable moment. The baby moved. The life growing inside you, something you’d been pretending didn’t truly exist, had just made itself known in the most undeniable way.
Your hand lingered on your stomach, frozen there as if pressing harder might help you process it. Your breaths quickened. Your chest felt tight. This was happening. It was all happening. There was no pretending anymore. No amount of denial or mental gymnastics could take this away now. You were going to be a mom. And the weight of that realization hit you like a wave crashing over your head, pulling you under, leaving you gasping for air.
Your vision blurred, the edges of the room spinning. “I need to sit down,” you murmured, your voice shaky and uneven.
Sylus was by your side in an instant, guiding you gently toward the couch. His hands were steady on your arms, his voice soft and soothing as he helped you ease down onto the cushions. “It’s okay, I’ve got you,” he said, his tone reassuring but filled with a concern that only made the knot in your chest tighten further.
The moment your head hit the couch, the tears started. Quiet at first, a few strangled hiccups that escaped before you could stop them. Then the floodgates opened, and sobs wracked your body, shaking you to your very core. You didn’t even know why you were apologizing as the words slipped out between gasps for air. “I'm-I'm sorry...I’m just-hic-scared…I’m not ready to be a mom. I don't know what to do with a baby.”
Your voice cracked on the last word, the raw emotion pouring out of you. Anger, fear, sadness—they all collided, creating a storm in your chest that you couldn’t contain. This wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. You hadn’t asked for this. You hadn’t wanted this. And yet here you were, forced to face a future you weren’t ready for, a responsibility you couldn’t escape.
Sylus knelt beside you, his expression filled with a tenderness that only made the ache in your heart worse. He didn’t look angry or frustrated, didn’t seem irritated by your outburst. Instead, he cupped your tear-streaked face, his thumb gently brushing away the dampness on your cheeks. “I know,” he murmured, his voice calm, steady. “I know it’s a lot, sweetie. And I know you’re scared.”
You shook your head weakly, wanting to protest, wanting to shout, to blame him for all of it. But the words wouldn’t come. All you could do was cry as his touch stayed constant, grounding you in a way you didn’t want to admit you needed. His presence, his warmth, the way he was handling you like something fragile—it was infuriating and comforting all at once.
“You don’t have to do it alone,” Sylus continued, his voice low, almost a whisper now. “I’m right here. Let me worry about everything else. All you have to do is focus on the baby. Just focus on staying healthy, on taking care of yourself. That’s all I want. You’re not alone, I promise.”
His words wrapped around you like a blanket, both suffocating and oddly reassuring. You didn’t want to be comforted by him. You didn’t want to feel like he was on your side, like he cared about you. But the way he was looking at you—his eyes soft, his touch gentle—made it harder to resist the crack in your armor.
The sobs quieted, your breathing slowing as his hands moved to gently rub your back. “It’s okay,” he whispered again, his tone as soothing as the repetitive motion of his hand. “You’re okay.”
But were you? You didn’t feel okay. You felt trapped, lost, like the world was crumbling around you. And yet, there was this flicker of something in your chest. A tiny, almost imperceptible spark of hope that maybe…just maybe…you could survive this. You didn’t know if you’d ever be okay, but for now, you let yourself lean into his touch, your body too drained to push him away.
You felt his hand move to your stomach again, resting there lightly. “You’re doing so good,” he said softly, his voice laced with something that sounded almost like awe. “Better than you think.”
Sylus's hand lingered on your stomach, his thumb gently tracing slow circles over the fabric of your dress as if he could soothe you through the small gesture. His gaze flickered between your face and your bump, his expression an almost unreadable mixture of tenderness and determination.
“You know,” he said softly, his voice breaking the quiet, “in just a week, we’ll find out if it’s a boy or a girl.”
The words hit you like a second wave. A week. Seven days. The thought of knowing felt surreal, overwhelming. Another tangible piece of this puzzle that had forced its way into your life. You didn’t respond immediately, your mind swimming with the implications. Finding out the gender would make it feel even more real.
Sylus’s lips curved into a small, warm smile as if he were savoring the thought himself. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot,” he continued, his voice low and steady. “What they might be like, who they’ll look like more…you or me.”
His eyes softened further as he looked down at you. “I’m hoping they’ll have your kindness, your strength. But maybe with my stubbornness,” he teased gently, as if trying to coax a smile from you.
You said nothing, too caught in the tidal wave of emotions crashing over you. A baby. A week from now, you’d know more about the life growing inside you, and there was no running from it. The warmth of his hand against your stomach, his voice filled with quiet excitement—it was too much. It felt suffocating and yet oddly comforting, as if a small, rebellious part of you wanted to hold onto that warmth even as the rest of you wanted to push him away.
Sylus must have noticed your silence because his hand moved from your stomach to your cheek again, gently cupping it. “I know this is a lot,” he murmured, his voice soft. “But you’re doing so well. Just one step at a time, okay?”
You swallowed hard, nodding slightly even as fresh tears welled in your eyes. You hated that you couldn’t hold it together, hated how easily he could break through your defenses with his touch and his words. But as the exhaustion weighed you down, you found yourself leaning into his hand, too drained to fight back any longer.
“A week,” you echoed weakly, the word barely a whisper. Your voice cracked, betraying the emotion bubbling just under the surface.
“A week,” Sylus repeated, his tone full of quiet promise. “And no matter what, I’ll be right here with you.”
Dr. Merrill's voice was calm and measured, a steady rhythm that filled the small, sterile room. “So far, everything looks fantastic,” he said, his gaze fixed on the screen as he maneuvered the ultrasound wand over your belly. The cool gel smeared across your skin sent shivers up your spine, but it was nothing compared to the anxiety tightening in your chest.
“The baby is progressing much faster than anticipated. Based on the measurements, it appears that your 19 almost 20 weeks despite being only 18 weeks currently."
Your stomach clenched, your mind latching onto his words like barbed wire. Faster than anticipated? How could that even be possible? What did that mean? Was there something wrong? A flurry of questions raced through your mind, fear bubbling up and threatening to overwhelm you.
Dr. Merrill seemed to sense your panic because he glanced at you, offering a reassuring smile. “It’s nothing to worry about,” he said quickly. “The growth is steady and healthy, which is what matters. Every pregnancy is unique, especially in cases like yours. The baby’s just growing a little ahead of schedule.”
You nodded faintly, but his words did little to ease the knot in your stomach. Your eyes flicked to Sylus, who sat beside you, his gaze unwavering on the monitor. He looked calm, composed, but there was an intensity in his eyes that made your skin prickle. This was his doing, wasn’t it? Whatever...abnormality he had passed on to the baby was now manifesting, and you were the one who had to carry it.
“Are you both still wanting to know the baby’s gender?” Dr. Merrill asked, breaking through your spiraling thoughts.
Before you could even open your mouth, Sylus responded. “Yes,” he said firmly, his tone leaving no room for debate.
You blinked, your throat tightening. Of course, he wanted to know. Of course, he would make the decision without asking you. You wanted to feel angry about it, but the truth was, you weren’t sure if you wanted to know. The idea of knowing made it all so much more real, more permanent, and you weren’t ready for that.
Dr. Merrill hummed, turning back to the screen. “Let me get a clearer image here,” he said, adjusting the wand slightly. “Sometimes they like to get in weird positions, and it can be hard to tell.”
The room fell silent, save for the rhythmic whooshing of the baby’s heartbeat echoing through the monitor. Your heart pounded in your chest as you stared at the screen, watching the grainy, shadowy outline of the baby move. It was surreal, seeing the small, growing life inside you, knowing it was real, that it was happening.
“Ah,” Dr. Merrill said, his face lighting up with a smile. “There we go. Congratulations—it’s a girl.”
A girl.
The words hit you like a freight train. A girl. Your whole world tilted, the ground beneath you crumbling as a rush of emotions surged through you. You didn’t know how to feel, didn’t know how to process the news. A girl. An innocent, fragile little girl.
Your chest tightened painfully as the reality of it sank in. Sylus was going to be her father. This little girl, this pure and precious life, would grow up with him as her role model, her protector. The thought made your stomach churn. He didn’t deserve her. He didn’t deserve the chance to shape her, to mold her.
He didn't deserve a girl. Or any child for that matter.
Tears pricked the corners of your eyes, and you had to fight to keep them from falling. You couldn’t cry here, not in front of him. But the overwhelming wave of despair was suffocating, threatening to pull you under. Despite the conflicting feelings of having this child, you still felt this innate need to protect an innocent life. But how could you, when you were trapped, powerless yourself?
Sylus’s voice cut through the haze, soft and filled with a soft tenderness. “A girl…” he murmured, his gaze fixed on the screen. His lips curved into a small, genuine smile, and for a moment, he looked almost human. Almost. “She’s perfect.”
You had to clench your fists to keep from glaring at him. Perfect? How dare he call her that? How dare he speak about her as if he had any right to feel pride, to feel joy? The tears threatened to spill over, and you bit the inside of your cheek, forcing yourself to stay composed.
“She is,” Dr. Merrill agreed with a smile. “Everything looks great. Strong heartbeat, good development. You’re doing a wonderful job.”
You couldn’t respond. Your throat felt too tight, your chest too heavy. A girl. The word echoed in your mind, over and over, until it was all you could hear. You wanted to scream, to cry, to do anything to release the storm raging inside you. But you couldn’t. All you could do was sit there, nodding faintly, as if everything was fine.
The words "It's a girl" echoed in your mind, even as the room fell back into a quieter rhythm. Dr. Merrill continued his commentary, pointing out the baby’s developing features, but his voice faded into the background. A girl. Your world felt like it was spinning, the weight of the revelation pressing on your chest. Your hands instinctively moved to your stomach, palm resting on the faint bump that seemed more real than ever before.
As Sylus’s gaze remained fixed on the screen, a smile softening his features, you felt a chill run down your spine. Would he hurt her? Would he hurt you again? The thought struck like lightning, sharp and unwelcome, jolting you back into a reality you thought you had begun to adjust to. Sylus had always been unpredictable—dangerously calm, calculated. He claimed to love you, but that love came with chains, both literal and metaphorical.
Your pulse quickened, fear worming its way through you, coiling tightly around your heart. You thought about the punishment weeks ago, the cold detachment in his eyes even as he had cooed reassurances afterward. He had meant to teach you a lesson, or so he said. Was there a limit to what he would do? What if his twisted vision of love clashed with the reality of raising a child? Would he lash out? Would he expect you to be the perfect mother, the perfect partner, and punish you if you weren’t?
Your fingers dug into your dress, clutching the fabric as a wave of nausea swept over you—not the kind brought on by pregnancy, but the kind born of dread. You glanced at Sylus out of the corner of your eye. He looked so…tender, so impossibly gentle as he studied the ultrasound image of the baby. It was jarring, a dissonance you couldn’t reconcile. How could someone so dangerous appear so human in moments like this?
You tried to push the fear away, reminding yourself of the past few weeks. He’d been softer, more attentive, letting you get away with small defiance here and there. But was it guilt? Or manipulation? Was he lulling you into a false sense of security, only to remind you later who held the power?
The thoughts swirled, relentless, until you couldn’t take it anymore. You turned your gaze back to the screen, focusing on the tiny outline of your daughter. The tears you had fought earlier pricked your eyes again, and you blinked rapidly, willing them away. You couldn’t cry, not now. Not in front of Sylus.
“Are you okay?” His voice broke through your spiral, soft and tinged with concern.
Your throat tightened as you looked at him, his expression gentle but expectant. You forced a smile, a weak, hollow thing that didn’t reach your eyes. “I’m fine,” you lied, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s just a lot to take in.”
Sylus reached out, his hand brushing yours as he gave it a small squeeze. “It’s okay to feel overwhelmed,” he said softly. "You’re not alone. I’m here.”
The words should have been comforting, but they only made the fear twist deeper. You managed a small nod, not trusting yourself to speak. As Dr. Merrill continued, explaining the next steps in the pregnancy and when your next appointment would be, your mind kept drifting back to the same question.
Would he hurt you again? Would he hurt her?
You weren’t sure you wanted to know the answer.
The dim light of the hospital room flickered softly, casting a pale glow over Xavier’s prone figure. The IV line in his arm fed him a steady drip of the experimental treatment Dr. Grey had promised would revolutionize recovery. The liquid in the IV bag shimmered faintly, almost unnaturally, as if alive. Xavier had been staring at it for hours now, unwilling or unable to look away.
Pain wracked his body. His bones ached, deep and constant, as though the marrow itself was burning. His broken ribs throbbed with every breath, his arm screamed with a phantom intensity, and his leg...He grit his teeth against the agony that threatened to drown him entirely. This was what he had agreed to—this hellish, unrelenting torment.
He had to keep reminding himself why.
You.
The image of your face swam before his closed eyes, your smile now tinged with shadows of fear and sadness. It was the only thing keeping him grounded as his body betrayed him. The treatment worked fast, Dr. Grey had said. But it didn’t work gently.
The first sign of its effects had come on the second day. His bruises, deep and grotesque, began to fade with alarming speed, mottled greens and yellows overtaking purples and blacks. But with that strange acceleration came a new kind of pain. The kind that started from the inside. It felt as if his bones were knitting together too quickly, the cells regenerating faster than his body could handle. His skin itched and burned around the fractures, and he found himself clawing at his casts in a desperate attempt to relieve it.
By the third day, he was writhing in his bed. A low, guttural groan escaped him as his body contorted, trying to find a position that would ease the agony. Every movement felt like needles piercing his skin, his muscles spasming involuntarily. The nurse came in once, her face pale, clearly unsure of how to handle what she was seeing.
"Mr. Xavier, should I—should I call Dr. Grey?" she stammered, her fingers hovering over the emergency button.
"No," Xavier growled through clenched teeth. His voice was hoarse, guttural, almost feral. "I can handle it."
He had to handle it. There was no choice.
By the end of the first week, the pain began to transform. It didn’t lessen exactly, but it shifted, becoming a deeper, heavier pressure. His body felt foreign, as though it was no longer his own. He stared at his hand one night, flexing the fingers that had been nearly useless days before. The movement was smoother, stronger, almost unnervingly precise.
The dreams began soon after.
They started as whispers in the dark, strange, disjointed voices calling his name. They spoke in languages he didn’t understand, yet somehow the meaning seeped into his mind. Images followed—the deep, glowing eyes of something monstrous, endless fields of bone and ash, and your voice, soft and distant, calling for him to save you. He’d wake drenched in sweat, his heart pounding in his chest, the pain in his ribs a dull echo compared to the terror in his mind.
Dr. Grey visited him on the tenth day, his expression equal parts excitement and curiosity as he examined Xavier.
“Remarkable,” Grey murmured, his gloved hands tracing over the edges of Xavier’s still-healing ribs. “The calcification is nearly complete. The rate at which your body is mending itself is unprecedented.”
“It doesn’t feel remarkable,” Xavier muttered, his voice gravelly. He shifted in bed, wincing as a sharp jolt ran down his leg.
Dr. Grey chuckled softly. “Yes, I imagine it doesn’t. Pain is a natural byproduct of accelerated cellular regeneration. Your body is essentially rewriting itself. Old cells are being discarded, new ones are forming, stronger, more efficient. It’s fascinating.”
“Fascinating,” Xavier bit out. “Tell me this is worth it.”
Dr. Grey’s gaze met his, and for the first time, there was something almost reverent in the doctor’s expression. “Oh, it’s worth it. You’re not just healing, Mr. Xavier. You’re becoming...something more. You’re going to feel it soon.”
“Feel what?” Xavier demanded, but Grey only smiled.
By the twelfth day, he felt it.
Strength. Pure, raw strength coursing through his veins like fire. His muscles no longer felt weak and atrophied, but alive, buzzing with energy. He tested it hesitantly, clenching his hand into a fist. The simple motion made the metal frame of the hospital bed groan.
“What the hell…” he muttered, staring at his hand in disbelief.
The dreams grew more vivid that night. This time, it wasn’t just whispers and shadows—it was you. You stood before him, your hand outstretched, your eyes filled with fear and longing. But before he could reach you, Sylus appeared, his form larger than life, his presence suffocating. His laugh echoed around Xavier like a taunt.
He regularly woke up gasping, his entire body drenched in sweat.
By the two-week mark, Dr. Grey returned for another check-in, this time bringing a portable scanner to examine Xavier’s progress.
“The bone density is incredible,” Grey said, almost giddy. “You’ve surpassed even my most optimistic projections. Tell me, how does it feel?”
“Like I’m being ripped apart and stitched back together,” Xavier said flatly, though there was a hint of awe in his voice. “But…I feel stronger.”
Grey nodded, his eyes gleaming. “You are stronger. Faster, too, I imagine. Your body is adapting to a level of efficiency most humans could only dream of.”
Xavier clenched his fists, testing the strength he could feel bubbling just beneath the surface. He looked at Grey, his expression hard. “I need this to work. I need to be ready.”
“It’s working,” Grey assured him. “You’re already becoming something extraordinary.”
Xavier’s jaw tightened as he looked out the window, his resolve hardening. He would endure whatever it took. The pain, the dreams, the uncertainty—none of it mattered if it meant he could stand against Sylus and win.
And bring you back where you belonged.
The hospital room was no longer a place of recovery—it had become a crucible. Xavier sat on the edge of the bed, his posture rigid, his face etched with exhaustion and determination. His body felt alien, heavier, more robust. Each breath he took was deeper, his lungs expanding with a power he hadn’t felt in years. The IV, once a lifeline, had been removed days ago, though the marks on his arm remained, faint reminders of the transformation he was enduring.
He flexed his fingers, watching as veins bulged beneath his skin. His hand felt like it could crush steel. His leg, the one that had been shattered, now supported him with ease. He stood, testing his weight experimentally, and the floor beneath him groaned faintly. The pain, once constant and unrelenting, was now gone, replaced by an intense, simmering energy that coursed through his veins like electricity.
But this wasn’t just healing.
This was something else.
The night before, the dreams had taken a dark turn. You weren’t in them this time—Sylus was. His face loomed larger than life, his voice a haunting echo in Xavier’s mind.
“You still think you can save her?” Sylus’s laugh was sharp and cruel.
“You’re weak. I’m not.”
The dream shifted, and Xavier was in a room of mirrors. His reflection stared back at him—at first. Then it began to change, the features warping into something unrecognizable. His body grew monstrous, his skin taking on a faint shimmer, his veins glowing faintly beneath the surface. His own voice boomed, low and guttural.
“You can’t win by becoming me.”
Xavier had woken up in a cold sweat, his heart pounding in his chest. But the worst part wasn’t the dream—it was the lingering sense of truth in Sylus’s words.
What even is he?
Dr. Grey entered the room now, his presence a sharp interruption to Xavier’s spiraling thoughts. The doctor’s face was alight with excitement, a clipboard in hand as he approached with brisk steps.
“Xavier,” Grey began, his voice almost reverent, “you’re beyond what I could have imagined. Your scans are perfect—better than perfect. Your bones, your muscles, even your cardiovascular system have all strengthened exponentially. You’re no longer recovering—you’re evolving.”
Xavier looked up, his expression unreadable. “What exactly am I evolving into?”
Grey hesitated, his professional composure faltering. “Something better.”
“That’s not an answer,” Xavier said, his voice low and dangerous. His hands clenched into fists, and the sound of his knuckles cracking echoed ominously in the room.
Grey took a step back, holding his clipboard defensively. “We’re still learning. But Xavier, this isn’t a curse—it’s a gift. You’re stronger, faster, more resilient than any hunter we’ve seen. And this is just the beginning.”
Xavier’s jaw tightened as he processed the words. A gift? It felt more like a curse. His body was different, yes, but his mind… his mind felt fractured. The dreams, the voices, the way he could hear his own heartbeat thundering in his ears—it didn't seem human. And that terrified him.
Later that night, the pain returned. It wasn’t the sharp, acute agony of before—it was deeper, more primal. His body burned from the inside out, the energy coursing through him reaching a boiling point. He doubled over, gasping for air, sweat pouring from his body as he collapsed to the floor.
“What’s…happening…” he groaned, his voice barely audible.
Dr. Grey burst into the room moments later, his expression a mixture of fascination and concern. “It’s the final phase,” he said, almost breathless. “Your body is adjusting. You need to ride it out.”
“Ride it out?” Xavier snarled, his voice laced with anger and desperation. “It feels like I’m dying.”
“You’re not,” Grey assured him, though his wide eyes betrayed his own uncertainty. “Your body is adapting to the new cellular structure. This is the turning point.”
Xavier growled, his fingers digging into the tiled floor as he fought against the searing heat that consumed him. His veins pulsed visibly beneath his skin, glowing faintly as the transformation reached its peak. He let out a guttural roar, his entire body convulsing as the energy erupted within him.
And then, as suddenly as it had begun, it was over.
Xavier collapsed onto the floor, his chest heaving, his body drenched in sweat. He looked himself over. He still looked the same. Nothing had really changed in appearance. But he felt it—a new strength, raw and untamed, thrumming through every fiber of his being. He pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, the floor cracking beneath his weight as he moved.
Grey approached cautiously, his eyes wide with awe. “How do you feel?”
Xavier looked up, his eyes meeting Grey’s with a piercing intensity. “Stronger,” he said simply, his voice low and steady.
Grey nodded, a triumphant smile spreading across his face. “It worked...it fucking worked. After all this time".
Xavier stood slowly, testing his new body. He felt…unstoppable. The fear, the pain, the weakness—all of it was gone, replaced by an unshakable resolve. He clenched his fists, turning to the doctor.
"Explain what the hell just happened to me. Now".
The nursery was almost done. The soft pastel colors you’d chosen covered the walls, delicate stenciled clouds floating above the crib. The rocking chair you’d insisted on was placed just right near the window, and Sylus had made sure every little touch met your exact specifications. It should have filled you with pride—or at least contentment—but instead, your chest felt heavy. Each item in the room was a reminder of the life being built here. One you weren’t sure you could ever truly belong to.
The past month had been...interesting. For one, everything hurt. Boobs, back, legs, feet. The cravings had been intense too. Sylus had been more than happy to indulge you of course, and he never complained when you would be up all night eating snacks in bed. Your need for touch and attention had been getting...intense. You refused to have Sylus touch you in that way again though. Thankfully he had backed off. You had gotten noticeably bigger and it seemed as though was trying to be careful.
It still clawed at the back of your mind though. An unknown, festering longing. But you shoved it down.
Sylus had even gotten a custom pregnancy pillow made for you, curved just for your shape. It was incredible. And the best part, was now you had an excuse not to be so close to him in bed now. He had even joked that the pillow might replace him. If you didn't know any better you'd say that things had gotten...normal. Everyday was a internal battle in your head but on the outside? You were just his pregnant fiancé.
Nothing more.
You stood in the middle of the room, admiring the handiwork. So much time had passed. How many weeks had it been now? You had to be at least six months. A life so distant from your own, yet you’d molded yourself into the role so well. Too well. You could feel Sylus’s presence behind you, a constant weight at your back, as if he were as much a part of this space as the furniture. His gaze was heavy, observing your every move.
You masked your true feelings with a small smile, directing Luke on where to place the stuffed animals and instructing Kieran to adjust the curtains for the hundredth time.
“They’re not even, Kieran. Please fix it.”
"Yes m'aam!"
The twins didn’t protest. They simply obeyed, accustomed to your meticulous demands over the past few weeks. Sylus stood at the doorway, his sharp gaze following every movement. His arms were crossed, his expression unreadable, but you could feel his eyes on you like a brand.
“Actually,” you said after a moment, turning toward Sylus, “don’t you think they deserve a break? They’ve been working hard.”
Sylus raised an eyebrow, his lips quirking slightly as if amused by your suggestion. “A break? You think they need a break?”
You nodded, feigning innocence. “Of course. They’ve done a lot, and we’re almost done here. I think they’ve earned it.”
The room went silent for a moment, the tension thick as Sylus studied you. You held your breath, wondering if you had pushed too far. But then, to your surprise, he nodded.
“Fine,” he said, his voice calm but laced with suspicion. “Luke, Kieran, take an hour. Go.”
The twins didn’t need to be told twice. They quickly gathered their things and left, exchanging another glance as they passed you, their steps echoing down the hall. The silence they left behind was deafening.
You let out a small sigh, your gaze drifting to the room. It was beautiful, almost surreal. So much time had passed since you started this charade, and yet it felt like no time at all. You’d molded yourself into this role so well it almost scared you.
“This is nice,” you murmured, running your fingers along the edge of the crib. “Really nice.”
You had gotten really used to lying through your teeth.
“It is,” he replied smoothly. “Thanks to you.”
Your stomach twisted at his words, but you refused to let it show. Instead, you focused on the closet, noting the empty shelves waiting to be filled. That gave you an idea—a reckless one. “We should go to Linkon,” you said suddenly, turning to look at him. “There’s so much more we need. Baby supplies, clothes, toys. It’d be nice to pick some things out myself. Linkon has some really nice stores.”
The moment the words left your mouth, you regretted them. Sylus’s eyes darkened slightly, his brow arching as he studied you. “Linkon?” he repeated, his voice calm but laced with suspicion. “And why, exactly, would you want to go to Linkon? So you can run and take my baby to your ex-lover?”
The accusation hit you like a blow, and for a moment, your breath caught in your throat. Was he onto you? Had it been that obvious?"
“Seriously?” you snapped, unable to keep the frustration from bubbling over. “Do you have to see ulterior motives in everything I do? I just want to pick out some things for the baby. Linkon is my birthplace. Of course I'd want to get my own daughter's stuff from there. That’s all.”
Sylus stepped closer, his movements slow and deliberate. The heat of his body seemed to surround you as he gazed down at you, unblinking. “Don’t lie to me,” he said softly, but his tone was sharp, cutting through the air like a blade. “You think I don’t see what you’re doing? Don’t think for a second that I actually believe you’ve accepted this.”
You felt your heart pounding in your chest, anger and fear battling for dominance. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, feigning innocence, but your voice wavered.
He chuckled, a low, humorless sound. “You’ve gotten good at lying, I’ll give you that. But not good enough.”
Your pulse raced as he leaned in closer, his presence overwhelming. You could feel the walls closing in, the nursery that had felt so spacious moments ago now suffocating. Your mind scrambled for something—anything—to diffuse the tension.
“I just thought it would be nice,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “To pick out a few things out for the baby myself. Isn’t that normal? Isn’t that what you want? For me to be...invested in this?”
"Are you truly invested though? “Why don’t you just tell me what you’re really thinking?” he says, his tone soft but firm, each word cutting deeper than the last.
"Lets end this little game of ours, kitten".
Your pulse quickened and you felt like your heart just dropped in your stomach. Fuck. Fuck. He had known the entire time?? The entire time?
You step back instinctively, your shoulders brushing against the wall as he closes the space between you. His presence is overwhelming, his gaze pinning you in place. “Sylus, I don’t—”
“Don’t,” he cuts you off, his voice low and commanding. “Don’t insult my intelligence. I’ve given you everything. I played along. Don’t think for a second I'd be dumb enough to think you've accepted all of this the second I propose.”
Your mind races as you scramble to regain control of the situation. “Sylus, no,” you say, your voice trembling with false sincerity.
“I want to be with you,” you blurted out, the words bitter on your tongue. They felt like shards of glass cutting through your throat as you forced them out. You hated yourself for saying them, but you hated him more for putting you in this position.
He stares at you for a long moment, his eyes searching yours as if he’s weighing your words. Then, slowly, he reaches for your hand, his fingers closing around yours with deliberate care. “Prove it,” he whispers, pulling your hand to his chest. “Resonate with me.”
“What?” you whisper, your breath hitching.
“I know all about your Aethor core,” he says, his voice steady but laced with a quiet intensity. “It’s controlled by your heart, isn’t it? If you want to be with me, truly, then you should have no problem resonating with me.”
The words felt like a trap closing in around you. Where did he even get information like that? Your mind raced, your chest tightening as the weight of his demand pressed down on you. His hand held yours firmly against his chest, and you could feel the faint flicker of energy radiating from him. The room seemed to shimmer, faint bursts of light and energy sparking between you as his Evol intertwined with yours.
But nothing happened.
The flickers of energy faded, the room falling into silence once more, leaving only the sound of your labored breathing and the thundering of your heart. Nothing. There was nothing.
Sylus’s jaw tightened, his fingers slowly releasing your hand as the weight of the failure settled between you. His eyes darkened, the cold edge of disappointment cutting through the air like a blade. “I knew it,” he muttered, his voice low and heavy with something deeper than anger—hurt.
“Sylus, please,” you started, but he stepped back, his expression a storm of emotion that left you reeling. Hurt. Anger. Sadness. It all seemed to blur together in the lines of his face.
“I wanted to believe you,” he said, his voice quieter now, tinged with bitterness. “I wanted to believe that you were finally…” He trailed off, his hands curling into fists at his sides as he turned away from you.
The weight of his disappointment crushed you, but fear and anger burned hotter in your chest. “What do you want from me, Sylus?” you snapped, your voice breaking. “You think I can just forget everything you’ve done? Everything you’ve taken from me?”
He turned back to you, his eyes blazing with an intensity that made your breath hitch. “I’ve given you everything you could ever need,” he said, his voice rising. “I’ve protected you. I’ve provided for you. All I’ve asked is for you to let go of the past and accept what’s here, what’s now. You can’t even give me that.”
You feel your own emotions boiling over, the weight of his accusations too much to bear. “Well maybe if you weren't a fucking freak who kidnaps girls off the street and impregnates them, maybe you'd have someone that loves you!” you say tears streaming down your face.
There's nothing but silence. Sylus says nothing, unmoving. You can feel his irritation radiating off of him but he stays still.
"Is that how you really feel?"
"Yes. There hasn't been a day where I haven't hated you. I hate you. All want to do is murder you right now."
Sylus’s movements were slow and deliberate, each step toward you carrying a weight that made your breath catch in your throat. His expression remained unreadable, his eyes locked onto yours with a calmness that only made your panic worse. Then, to your utter horror, he reached to his side and pulled out a sleek, black gun, holding it firmly in his hand.
Your heart slammed against your ribcage as he extended it toward you, pressing the cool metal into your trembling hands. "W-what are you—" you stammered, your voice breaking as you stared at the weapon.
His voice was low, steady, almost too calm. “You said you wanted to murder me,” he said, his gaze never wavering from yours. “Here’s your chance.”
Your heart pounds erratically in your chest, your entire body trembling as you grip the weapon tighter. “Sylus…” you whisper, your voice breaking.
His hands come up slowly, his movements deliberate as he guides yours, positioning your finger over the trigger. “I’ll make it easy for you,” he murmurs, his gaze steady and calm, but his words are laced with an unsettling challenge. “End it. If you hate me that much, take your shot.”
“What...!” you cry, shaking your head as tears stream freely down your face. “Sylus, stop!” But his grip on your hands is iron, unyielding, as he guides the barrel steadily to his chest.
“This is what you wanted,” he says softly, his voice carrying a mix of defiance and something heartbreakingly tender. “To kill me, isn’t it?”
The room feels like it’s spinning. Your chest tightens, your breath shallow and erratic as his words twist deeper into your mind.
Do I hate him? Do I really want this?
Your thoughts clash violently, a storm of anger, fear, and confusion tearing through you.
“You’re fucking crazy,” you sob, your voice cracking. “I hate you. I fucking hate you!” The words leave your mouth like venom, but even as you say them, a flicker of doubt lurks in the back of your mind.
Do I hate him enough for this?
Sylus doesn’t flinch. His gaze is steady, his eyes locked onto yours, filled with an unnerving combination of determination and something heartbreakingly tender. He presses the barrel harder against his chest, his voice dropping to a whisper.
“Then prove it. Pull the trigger."
“I...wait,” you choke, shaking your head as sobs rack your body. The gun feels impossibly heavy in your hands, like it’s tethered to the weight of the entire world. “No, I can’t...I can’t do this.”
“Why not?” he challenges, his grip firm but not forceful, his words cutting deep. “You’ve said it over and over—how much you hate me, how much you want me gone. Do it. End it.”
Your mind is in chaos. You see flashes of everything—his cruelty, his control, his moments of tenderness. You hate him. You hate him. Don’t you?
But then why does your hand tremble so much? Why does your heart ache as you look into his eyes, calm and accepting? He deserves this. He deserves this, doesn’t he?
"Do you want some help?" he asks, seemingly unaffected by your tears.
“Sylus,” you whisper, your voice barely audible, shaking your head. “Please…stop.”
He ignores you and simply gives you a small smile, his eyes boring into yours. "I'd rather die by your hands anyways".
Before you can process his words, his finger joins yours on the trigger, and in a single, horrifying moment, he pulls it. The deafening crack of the gunshot echoes in the room, reverberating in your ears as Sylus staggers back.
The recoil jolts through your arms, and the force sends the gun clattering to the floor. Sylus staggers back a step, his hand clutching his chest where the bullet tore through him. Blood blooms against his shirt, dark and stark against the fabric, spreading rapidly.
Your knees hit the floor as a strangled scream rips from your throat. “No! No, no, no…Sylus!” you cry, crawling toward him, your hands reaching out instinctively. “You can’t die…You can’t die!” Your voice cracks with desperation as you press your palms to his chest, trying to stop the flow of blood. “Are you fucking crazy?!”
His breathing is shallow, his body warm as blood pulses out of him. You feel your own heartbeat pounding in your ears, your vision blurring as you sob uncontrollably. “Sylus, please,” you whisper, your voice breaking as you clutch at him. “I didn’t mean it… I didn’t mean what I said…I'm sorry. Please I'm sorry.”
And then, just as your hands grow slick with his blood, something impossible happens. The wound begins to close. Slowly, impossibly, the torn flesh knits itself back together, the blood retreating as if drawn back into his body. The hole in his chest seals completely, leaving only unbroken, unmarred skin.
Your mouth drops in horror, your mind spinning, every rational thought crumbling under the weight of what you’ve just witnessed. “Wh-what…what are you?” you whisper, your voice barely audible.
Sylus sits up slowly, brushing your hands aside with a faint smile. “Yours,” he says softly, as if the answer should have been obvious.
You scramble back, your body trembling as you struggle to process what you’ve just witnessed. “No…no, this isn’t possible,” you whisper, shaking your head. “You can’t… you shouldn’t…”
“Does this show you,” he murmurs, leaning closer as his voice drops to a soothing tone. “That I’m not going anywhere? No matter how much you fight me, no matter how much you think you hate me. I’m here. Always. You wanted to take my life, now you've taken it.”
"I-I...you're alive? After getting shot...?"
You sink even lower to the ground, beginning to tremble on your side. Relief, confusion, distress all encompass your mind. Your hands fly to your face, trembling as you try to block out the sight of him, the impossibility of what just happened. Hot tears spill freely, soaking your palms, and the sound of your ragged breathing fills the suffocating silence of the room.
What are you?
The words burn in your mind, a question you can’t force past your lips. You shake your head, trying to push away the horror of his unbroken gaze, his calm acceptance of the bullet meant to end him. The very same man who pressed a gun to his own chest and showed you the futility of your anger.
He's actually a monster...? A real monster...?
The tears come harder, your body shaking as the truth of your situation sinks in deeper than ever before. You’re trapped with a man who defies the very laws of life and death. You can’t fight him, can’t win, can’t escape. And now…now you carry his child.
Your hands drift to your belly, the slight curve that has grown over the past weeks now feeling heavier than it ever has. A new wave of anguish wells up in you as your mind spirals. What kind of child has he put inside you? Is this baby even human?
The thought fills you with dread, and you cry harder, burying your face in your hands as the room blurs around you. You can still feel Sylus’s presence, his eyes on you, unwavering. But you can’t look at him. You can’t bear to see the man who holds you captive, the man who claims to love you, the man who just proved he’s more than a simple man.
The sound of his steady breath fills the room, a sharp contrast to your sobbing. But then, as you finally look up through tear-blurred eyes, you see it—his chest, the place where the bullet tore through, now whole. The blood remains on his shirt, a stark, visceral reminder, but the flesh beneath is unbroken, smooth. Impossible.
Your breath hitches, and a new wave of sobs wracks your body. What kind of monster is he? What kind of thing are you trapped with? You shake your head, trembling, as you bury your face in your hands again.
You don’t hear him approach, but then you feel it—his hands, warm and steady, gently cupping your shoulders to lift you up onto your feet. His touch doesn’t feel cold or monstrous. It feels human, tender even, and it only makes your sobs harder.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice low and thick with emotion. “I had to show you. I had to…” There’s something fragile in his tone, almost pleading, as if he’s begging for you to understand.
His hands slide down your arms, wrapping around you as he pulls you close. You stiffen instinctively, your mind screaming at you to pull away, but your body is weak, wrung out from the flood of emotions and the unbearable reality pressing down on you.
“You’re scared,” he murmurs, his lips close to your ear. “I know. But you don’t have to be. You’ll never have to be afraid of me harming you, sweetie. Not ever.” His arms tighten around you, his warmth radiating through your shaking form. “I’ll protect you. I’ll protect her.”
His words break through the storm of your sobs, a reminder of the life growing inside you—the child he forced upon you, the child who’s part of him. The tears don’t stop, but they shift, mingling with a deep, guttural dread.
He pulls back slightly, his hands moving to cup your tear-streaked face. His thumbs brush softly against your cheeks, wiping away the tears. “I’m sorry,” he says again, his voice cracking ever so slightly. “I know I scared you, but I needed you to see that no matter what you do, I’ll always come back to you.”
You stare at him, your mind a swirling storm of emotions—fear, relief, anger, confusion, and, beneath it all, something you don’t want to name. Something terrifying.
“Why?” you manage to whisper, your voice barely audible. “Why would you show me something like this?”
His gaze softens, and he leans closer, resting his forehead against yours. “Because I love you,” he says simply. “And I’ll never let anything take you from me. Nothing, not even death can keep us apart.”
You feel the weight of his words, their suffocating finality, and you squeeze your eyes shut, fresh tears spilling down your cheeks. You hate him. You hate him so much. But in this moment, with his hands so steady and his voice so soothing, you feel yourself falling apart, breaking into pieces in the arms of the man who shattered your life.
You cry against him until your chest aches, until the tears won’t come anymore, until you’re left hollow and trembling in his arms. Your breaths slow, but your heart still pounds, fear and confusion swirling in your mind.
And then you feel it.
A small, sudden flutter in your stomach, faint but unmistakable. Your breath catches, your body freezing as the sensation repeats, soft yet insistent, like a tiny whisper from within.
Your hand flies instinctively to your belly, fingers trembling as they press against the fabric of your dress. The baby kicks again, stronger this time, as if responding directly to your overwhelming emotions. The realization crashes over you like a tidal wave, and fresh tears pour down your face, your vision blurring under the weight of this new reality.
She can feel it.
Your baby—this innocent life inside of you—is aware. Aware of your turmoil, your anguish, your fear. She’s not even born yet, and already she’s being touched by the chaos swirling around you. The thought steals the breath from your lungs, leaving you gasping in the stillness of the room.
She can feel everything.
The truth sears through you, sharp and unrelenting. You feel your body quaking, your hand pressing harder against your stomach as though you can shield her, protect her from the storm you’ve unwittingly pulled her into. You can’t let her feel this. You can’t let her suffer for your despair.
You close your eyes tightly, willing yourself to take deep, even breaths. It’s okay. You’re okay.
The words echo in your mind like a mantra, shaky but desperate, as you fight to calm your racing heart. You try to project it outward, to send a wave of reassurance down to her, to let her know she’s safe, even if you don’t fully believe it yourself. You don’t know how to love this baby yet, not completely, not with everything you’re carrying. But if there’s one thing you can do, one thing you have the strength for, it’s this: you can at least let her feel that everything is okay.
She deserves that much.
But as your breathing steadies and the kicking subsides, replaced by a faint, comforting stillness, the weight of the same question slams into you once more. Your mind spirals with questions, each one darker and heavier than the last. But one in particular prevails.
What kind of monstrosity is he?
Your gaze shifts toward Sylus, who’s gazing down at you, his face a mixture of concern and an unsettling calm. He’s too much—too strong, too powerful, too inhuman. His very presence warps reality, bends it around him in ways that leave you gasping for air. He isn’t a man, not really. He’s something else entirely, something that defies everything you thought you knew about the world.
“Sylus…what are you?”
The question echos unanswered in the stillness of the room, their weight pressing down on you as the last shreds of your hope slip further from reach.
686 notes · View notes
domm1etae · 3 months ago
Text
Anytime, Anywhere
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welcome to domm1etae's kinktober
day 3 : FREE USE
yunho x f!reader
6k
Yunho and Y/N are in this wild "free use" agreement where Yunho can basically take her whenever he feels like it, no warnings, no heads-up, just whenever he’s in the mood. Y/N loves it too, and it's all about the thrill of not knowing when he'll make a move
nsfw tags under
m/f, top yunho, bottom reader, vaginal sex, rough sex, free use, dominance, possession, dirty talk, power play, manhandling, hair pulling, begging, praise kink, cnc, orgasm denial, neck kissing, and mooore
Requests OPEN! - let me know through the ask button if you have any requests for this Kinktober
author's note: the more u read this, the better it gets;)
navigation | kinktober masterlist
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Y/N stood at the sink, the warm water running over the dishes as she scrubbed away, completely absorbed in her task. The scent of soap mingled with the faint aroma of the dinner they had just shared, a comfortable evening routine that she loved. The familiar clink of dishes resonated in the cozy kitchen, creating a soothing atmosphere. But the peaceful moment was about to be disrupted.
“Y/N,” Yunho called from the living room, his voice playful yet laced with a hint of mischief. “I hope you’re not too busy to play.”
Y/N chuckled, shaking her head as she tried to suppress a grin. “What do you think I am, a robot? I can multitask, you know.” She turned to face him, wiping her hands on a dish towel, her heart fluttering at the playful tone in his voice.
“Multitasking? Is that what you call washing dishes while I’m here getting all hot and bothered?” Yunho’s tone was teasing, and she could see the way his eyes sparkled with mischief as he approached the kitchen, his movements languid yet purposeful.
Y/N turned slightly, glancing over her shoulder, and caught a glimpse of Yunho leaning against the doorframe. He looked absolutely irresistible, dressed in a simple black tank top and lounge shorts that hugged his thighs perfectly. The way his muscles rippled as he shifted slightly sent a rush of heat through her. “Maybe you should do the dishes instead then,” she replied with a smirk, trying to hold her ground.
“Or,” he said, stepping closer, his voice dropping an octave, “I could just use you as my distraction.”
Her heart raced at his suggestion, a playful challenge flickering in her mind. “And how exactly would that work? I have important dishes to wash,” she replied, pretending to be serious as she picked up another plate.
“Important? I don’t think so. Look at you, all focused and pretty,” Yunho countered, stepping closer until he was almost flush against her back. The warmth of his body sent shivers down her spine. “Don’t you want to have some fun?”
Y/N turned slightly, catching his gaze and feeling a thrill at the intensity in his eyes. “Fun, huh? I suppose it could be more fun than scrubbing these dishes,” she said, her voice teasing.
“Exactly. Life is too short to spend it washing dishes, don’t you think?” His lips curled into a mischievous smile, and her heart raced in response.
Before she could even finish her sentence, Yunho was upon her, his hands gripping her hips and pulling her back against him. She gasped, the sudden warmth of his body against hers sending her pulse racing. “Y/N, I can’t help it. You’re just so irresistible,” he murmured, his breath hot against her ear.
A shiver ran down her spine as she felt his warm breath caress her skin. “Yunho—”
But before she could articulate her thoughts, he yanked her shorts down, exposing her to the cool air of the kitchen. She gasped again, this time in shock, the sudden chill sending shivers down her spine. “Keep washing,” he commanded, voice deep and gravelly, as he pushed into her from behind.
Y/N stifled a moan, gripping the counter tightly as the sensation of him filling her sent shockwaves through her body. “Yunho, this is so—”
“Just like that. Keep your hands busy,” Yunho said, his breath hot against her neck, his tone playful yet authoritative.
“Yunho, I—”
“No excuses. Just let me use you.” His thrusts were deliberate and steady, each movement igniting a fire within her that was impossible to ignore. With every push, Yunho’s hands gripped her hips tighter, anchoring her to him as he filled her deeply, his veiny member stretching her in ways that sent waves of pleasure coursing through her body. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the kitchen, blending with the sound of running water.
Y/N could hardly focus on the dishes in front of her, the soapy bubbles slipping through her fingers as she struggled to keep washing. Each thrust pulled a moan from her lips, and she found herself losing the battle against the overwhelming sensations washing over her. Her heart raced, and her breathing quickened, each thrust making it harder to concentrate on anything other than the pleasure surging through her.
“Yunho, this is so—” she gasped, her words trailing off as he spanked her lightly, the sharp sting sending shockwaves of excitement through her.
“Just like that. Keep your hands busy,” Yunho said, his breath hot against her neck, his tone playful yet authoritative, the rhythm of his thrusts becoming more urgent.
Y/N stifled another moan, gripping the counter tightly as the heat coiled tighter within her. She couldn't help but let a small whimper escape as the sensations took hold. “Yunho, I—”
“No excuses. Just let me use you.” His thrusts deepened, the pleasure almost unbearable as he filled her completely, making her feel like she was floating. She was acutely aware of every sensation—the way her body reacted to him, how the pressure built with each thrust, and the delicious ache that settled deep within her core.
“Yunho, I can’t—” she breathed, feeling the heat of her impending climax building with each deliberate stroke.
“You’re so naughty,” she murmured, unable to hold back her moans as he pushed her closer to the edge.
“You love it,” he countered, his grip tightening on her hips as he increased his pace, his movements becoming more fervent. “Tell me how much you love it.”
“Yunho, I—”
“Say it!” he growled, the intensity in his voice making her breath hitch.
“I love it when you use me like this!” Y/N cried out, her voice rising as pleasure coursed through her veins.
“Good girl,” Yunho groaned, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he neared his release. “I’m going to fill you up, okay?”
“Yes, please,” she begged, her voice desperate and breathy.
With one final, deep thrust, Yunho came inside her, filling her full of his load. The sensation left her breathless, her knees trembling as the aftershocks of pleasure rippled through her. She leaned heavily against the counter, trying to regain her composure, but the remnants of his touch lingered, making it impossible to focus on the dishes in front of her.
Yunho pulled out almost immediately, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips as he watched her struggle to process what had just happened. “See? I told you this would be more fun than washing dishes,” he teased, leaning against the counter beside her.
“Now clean up,” he said, a smirk playing on his lips as he stepped back, leaving her standing there, wanting more.
“Just like that?” Y/N protested, half-amused and half-annoyed, turning to face him fully, the water still running in the sink. “What about me?”
“Clean up first, and then we can discuss some… arrangements,” he replied, his tone suggestive, raising an eyebrow as he leaned against the kitchen counter.
“What arrangements?” she asked, feigning innocence as she turned off the water and dried her hands on the dish towel.
Yunho stepped closer again, leaning down to whisper in her ear, “Free use, Y/N. I want to be able to use you whenever I want, wherever we are.”
Her heart raced at the suggestion, the thrill of it sparking something deep within her. “You really think I’d agree to that?”
He pulled back slightly to meet her gaze, his eyes gleaming with determination. “Oh, I know you will. Just imagine it: anytime, anywhere. You’ll be mine to use. It’ll be fun.”
“Fun, huh?” Y/N mused, biting her lip as she considered it. “And what if I say no?”
Yunho stepped even closer, his body inches from hers, the heat radiating off him. “What if I just make you say yes?”
Her breath hitched in her throat, excitement flooding her. “Is that a challenge?”
He grinned, a devilish glint in his eyes. “It could be. But I’d prefer to think of it as a promise.”
“Alright, you win. Free use it is,” Y/N conceded, her heart racing at the prospect of what was to come.
“Good girl,” Yunho said, his voice low and satisfied as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Now, let’s see what else we can do in this kitchen.”
With a newfound energy coursing through her, Y/N smirked back at him, a devilish glint in her eyes. “What are you waiting for? I’m right here.”
Yunho’s gaze darkened, and he stepped closer again, his hands finding her waist as he pressed her back against the counter. “Oh, I plan to make the most of this, believe me,” he murmured, his lips brushing against hers for just a moment before pulling away, leaving her wanting more.
“Yunho…” she whispered, her heart racing with anticipation.
“Yes?” he asked, feigning innocence as he stepped back, his arms crossed over his chest.
“Don’t tease me,” she warned, a playful frown on her face. “You can’t just leave me hanging like this.”
He chuckled, the sound low and rich, as he stepped closer once again. “Oh, but where’s the fun in that? You said you wanted to agree to free use, right?”
“Yes, but—”
“Exactly. So, why don’t we start practicing?” he suggested, a wicked grin spreading across his face.
Before she could respond, Yunho surged forward, capturing her lips in a fierce kiss. Y/N melted against him, her hands instinctively finding their way to his hair as she pulled him closer. Their kiss deepened, and she felt the familiar heat building between them once more.
Yunho broke the kiss, breathing heavily as he rested his forehead against hers. “You see? I’m just getting started. You have no idea how many times I’ve fantasized about this—using you while you’re doing something mundane, making you forget everything else.”
Y/N’s cheeks flushed at his words, a mix of embarrassment and excitement swirling within her. “You’re unbelievable,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Maybe. But you love it,” he replied, his hands sliding down to her thighs, lifting her slightly to sit on the edge of the counter.
“Yunho, what if someone walks in?” she asked, glancing towards the living room, the thought of being caught sending a thrill through her.
“Then they’ll just have to deal with it,” he said confidently, his hands gripping her waist as he leaned in closer, his lips brushing against her neck. “Besides, the thrill of being caught just adds to the excitement, don’t you think?”
She gasped at his touch, feeling her body respond instinctively. “You’re something else,” she breathed, her fingers tangling in his hair as he continued to kiss down her neck.
“Something else? Maybe. But you love every second of it.”
ANOTHER TIME
Y/N was sprawled comfortably on the couch, the soft fabric enveloping her as she absentmindedly scrolled through her phone, a soft smile playing on her lips. The afternoon sunlight streamed in through the window, casting a warm glow across the room. She was lost in the digital world when the front door swung open, and in walked Yunho, still drenched in sweat from his intense workout.
He paused just inside the door, shaking his head slightly as if to clear it, his hair sticking to his forehead. His tank top clung to his body, showcasing the muscles that had been put to work just moments before. As he caught sight of Y/N lounging on the couch, a smirk broke across his face, and his eyes darkened with a mixture of desire and mischief.
“Y/N,” he breathed out, his voice thick with exhaustion yet laced with an unmistakable hunger.
She glanced up, a teasing grin forming. “Hey, Mr. Fitness. You look like you could use a shower.”
But before she could finish her sentence, Yunho closed the distance between them in a matter of strides, his movements quick and determined. He hovered over her for just a moment, eyes locking onto hers, and in that instant, Y/N felt her heart race. There was no time for witty banter; he had other plans.
With a swift motion, he pushed her legs apart and slid between them, the heat radiating from his body engulfing her. His hands were suddenly on her, fingers deftly tugging at her clothes, brushing them aside with an urgency that sent a thrill of excitement coursing through her veins.
“Yunho—” she started, a mixture of surprise and playful protest in her voice, but it was cut short as he captured her waist, lifting her slightly to settle her against the couch.
“Just relax,” he murmured, his breath hot against her skin as he leaned in closer. The scent of sweat mingled with the lingering smell of his cologne, intoxicating and raw. Y/N’s body responded instinctively to his closeness, and any words of resistance faded away.
In one fluid motion, he found his way inside her, and Y/N gasped at the sudden fullness. The air in the room seemed to thicken with the intensity of the moment. Yunho didn’t waste time; he began to thrust into her with a primal urgency, each movement deliberate and powerful. Y/N clutched the couch, her fingers digging into the fabric as she surrendered to the sensations washing over her.
“Yunho,” she managed to gasp, but it was more a moan than a coherent thought. He simply continued his relentless pace, losing himself in the rhythm of their bodies. The living room filled with the sound of flesh meeting flesh, the soft squeaks of the couch beneath them, and Y/N's breathy gasps.
Her world narrowed down to the sensation of him moving inside her, the way he filled her completely, taking without asking, just as they both liked it. His hands were firm on her hips, guiding her, controlling the way they moved together.
Y/N couldn’t help but let her body arch towards him, craving more of his heat. The intensity built with every thrust, her breath quickening as pleasure spiraled in the pit of her stomach. Yunho’s gaze locked onto hers, his expression fierce yet focused, completely consumed by the moment.
“God, you feel so good,” he groaned, his voice low and gravelly, but there was no question in his tone—he was claiming her, using her for his pleasure, and it made her feel exhilarated and wanted.
She wanted to respond, to tell him how much she loved this, but all that escaped her lips were whimpers and moans as he drove deeper, his thrusts growing more frantic. The world around them faded into nothingness; there was only this, only them.
As he felt himself nearing the edge, he leaned down, capturing her lips in a searing kiss that stole the breath from her lungs. The taste of sweat and desire mingled between them, fueling the fire of their connection.
With one final thrust, he buried himself deep inside her and came, a low growl escaping his lips as he filled her, their bodies trembling together. The heat of his release enveloped her, and she could only cling to him, lost in the aftershocks of their passionate encounter.
Yunho pulled back slightly, panting as he looked down at her, a satisfied grin spreading across his face. “That’s better than any cooldown routine,” he chuckled, still breathless.
Y/N laughed softly, her cheeks flushed, but before she could say anything else, Yunho was already stepping back, leaving her breathless and wanting more. “Now, I think I’ll take that shower,” he said playfully, winking at her as he turned to head toward the bathroom.
Y/N shook her head, a smile still on her lips, knowing full well this was just the beginning of their new agreement on free use.
ANOTHER DAY
“No, sir.” Y/N’s voice rings with frustration as she types furiously on her keyboard. “Yes, I did submit the report already. I even emailed the final version to you last night around 8 PM.”
Y/N is currently on a video call with her boss, who is located in another country. The camera captures her professional demeanor, a neatly styled blouse enhancing her look while keeping her comfortable in the privacy of her home office. Below the desk, she’s wearing nothing but a pair of lace panties, making it difficult to maintain her focus.
Just as she finishes speaking, she hears the sound of a door creaking open behind her. Her heart skips a beat; she knows exactly who it is.
Yunho enters, his gaze immediately locking onto her. He’s freshly showered, droplets of water still glistening on his skin, a towel draped around his waist. Y/N’s breath hitches as he approaches her, a wicked smile playing on his lips. She quicky turns off her camera and mutes herself.
“Y/N,” he whispers, leaning in close enough for her to feel his warm breath against her neck, “you look so focused. Isn’t it time for a little break?”
Y/N glances at her laptop, her boss still droning on about project details. “I can’t! I have deadlines to meet,” she insists, trying to sound serious even as her body betrays her, yearning for Yunho’s touch.
But Yunho isn’t deterred. He moves closer, brushing his fingers along her shoulder, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Come on, you know you want this. Just a quick moment to remind you how much I love to use you.”
She bites her lip, trying to resist, but he’s already sliding his hand under the desk, fingers brushing against her thigh. The contact sends a jolt of electricity through her, and she fights to stay composed. “Yunho, I really can’t…”
“Your boss doesn’t need to know, does he?” Yunho smirks, and before she can respond, he pulls her panties aside, his mouth moving against her. She should have worn pants, not only her panties, even tho, she is at home.
“Yunho!” she gasps, her voice a mixture of surprise and pleasure. Her body instinctively arches toward him, wanting more. The sounds of her boss's voice fade into the background as she gets lost in the sensations.
He licks and sucks, drawing soft moans from her lips that she desperately tries to stifle. “Mmm, that’s it. Just like that. Let me take care of you, sweetheart.”
“Y/N?” her boss's voice breaks through the haze. “Are you there? You’re muted.”
“I—uh…” Y/N stammers, heart racing, desperate to maintain some semblance of professionalism as Yunho continues his teasing. He’s relentless, his mouth moving expertly against her, sending waves of pleasure crashing through her.
“Everything okay?” her boss asks, a hint of concern in his tone.
“Just… a moment!” she manages to reply, her voice trembling as Yunho intensifies his efforts, sending her spiraling toward ecstasy. “I’m—”
“Perfect,” he murmurs against her, his lips pressing against her skin as he gives one last fervent lick. “Let’s make this quick, then.”
Y/N gasps, the pleasure building to an unbearable peak. “Yunho, I—”
“Just let go, Y/N,” he urges, his voice dripping with lust as he continues his ministrations. “You’re my toy, remember? Just let me use you.”
The world around her blurs as she surrenders to the wave of pleasure crashing over her. “Yes, Yunho, please…” she breathes, finally succumbing to the moment.
As her body tenses and she feels herself on the brink of release, Yunho suddenly pulls back, teasing her as he wipes his mouth with a smug grin. “Not yet, baby. You need to keep it together for your boss.”
“Yunho!” she cries out, frustration mixing with the desire that still courses through her. “I can’t—”
“Don’t worry,” he whispers, brushing his fingers against her thigh as he leans back in. “I’ll give you something to think about while you finish your call.”
Y/N’s breath hitches, a mix of anticipation and desperation as she watches him, her mind racing with the thrill of being so exposed. She tries to refocus on her laptop, but Yunho’s presence is overwhelming, his teasing touches setting her on fire.
Her boss’s voice breaks through the haze again. “Y/N? Are you sure everything is alright? You’ve been muted for a while.”
“Y-yes, sir! Everything is fine!” she stutters, barely holding onto her composure as Yunho nips at her thigh, sending a fresh wave of heat coursing through her.
“Great,” her boss says, and Y/N knows she should focus on the call, but all she can think about is how Yunho has completely derailed her.
Yunho smirks, clearly enjoying the situation, and leans in closer, whispering, “You’re doing so well, just remember you’re my toy. I can use you whenever I want.”
With that, he stands up, leaving her breathless and eager for more as she tries to compose herself and refocus on the call, the tension thick in the air.
ANOTHER DAY
The warm water cascaded over Y/N as she stood under the showerhead, the steam enveloping her in a comforting haze. She had taken the time to unwind after a long day, enjoying the soothing sensation of the water against her skin. The bathroom was filled with the fresh scent of her favorite body wash, a hint of lavender that mixed with the steam.
Just as she leaned against the tiles, closing her eyes to relish the moment, she heard the bathroom door creak open. She turned, surprised, and found Yunho stepping into the shower, fully clothed and drenched in water.
“Yunho!” she exclaimed, laughter bubbling up in her throat. “What are you doing? You’re disturbing my alone time!”
He stepped closer, the water glistening off his toned body. A playful smirk spread across his face, his dark hair sticking to his forehead. “Alone time? With me around?” he teased, his voice low and teasing. “I think not.”
Before she could protest further, he closed the distance between them, pinning her against the cool, slick tiles of the shower wall. The sudden movement stole the breath from her lungs, but instead of fear, a thrill raced through her. “You belong to me,” he murmured, his eyes darkening with desire.
Y/N’s heart raced as she felt the heat radiating from his body. “And what if I want to be alone?” she challenged, raising an eyebrow.
Yunho chuckled softly, brushing a damp strand of hair away from her face. “Not a chance,” he whispered before leaning down to capture her lips in a searing kiss.
Their mouths moved together hungrily, the kiss igniting a fire within her. He pulled back slightly, his breath mingling with hers, and then he captured her gaze, his eyes smoldering with intensity. “You know the rules, babe. Free use means I can take you whenever I want.”
Y/N bit her lip, a mixture of anticipation and excitement flooding her senses. “You’re right,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.
Without warning, Yunho dipped his head, trailing his lips down her neck and across her collarbone. She gasped, the sensation electrifying as he explored her skin with his mouth. His hands roamed over her body, tracing her curves as he made his way down to her thighs.
“Yunho, we’re in the shower…” she started, but the words fell short as he knelt before her, his fingers teasing the edges of her body.
“I know exactly where we are,” he replied, looking up at her with that cocky grin that always made her weak in the knees. “And I intend to enjoy it.”
With that, he wasted no time, his mouth on her, his tongue skillfully working to bring her to the edge. Y/N's head fell back against the tiles as pleasure coursed through her. She tangled her fingers in his hair, urging him on as he licked and sucked, driving her wild.
“Yunho, please,” she moaned, her legs shaking with the intensity of it all. “I—”
He pulled away just as she felt herself teetering on the edge. “I know what you want, but I’m not done playing yet,” he said, his breath hot against her skin.
“Yunho, you can’t just—” she started, but he silenced her with a finger pressed to her lips, a teasing glint in his eyes.
“Just trust me,” he whispered before standing up, his hands still gripping her waist tightly. “Let’s get back to you.”
As he turned the water temperature a little hotter, he took the shampoo bottle and squirted some into his palm. “Now, let me wash your hair.”
He gently massaged the shampoo into her scalp, his fingers working through her hair with a tenderness that contrasted sharply with the possessiveness he had just displayed. Y/N leaned into his touch, relishing the softer moments between their heated encounters.
“See? I can be sweet too,” Yunho said with a playful smile as he rinsed her hair.
“Sweet? You didn't even let me finish!” she laughed, feeling blissfully content in this moment.
He laughed, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her forehead. “That was what I wanted, baby.”
“And why is that exactly?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“So that I can fuck you like an animal after this shower.”
ANOTHER DAY
The late afternoon sun filtered through the glass panels of the apartment building as Y/N stepped into the elevator, her heels clicking softly against the floor. She was exhausted from a long day at work, the weight of deadlines and meetings lingering on her mind. The elevator doors slid shut, and she sighed, leaning against the wall as she waited for the familiar descent to her floor.
Just as she turned to press the button, the elevator jolted slightly, and she glanced up to find Yunho stepping in right before the doors closed. His presence filled the small space, an electric energy sparking between them. He flashed her that signature smirk that always sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach.
“Fancy seeing you here,” he said casually, leaning against the opposite wall, arms crossed, his toned physique accentuated by his fitted shirt.
“Hey,” Y/N replied, trying to keep her voice steady despite the rush of heat that crept up her neck. “I thought you were still at the gym.”
“Just finished up and figured I’d catch you before you got home,” he said, taking a step closer as the elevator lurched downward. The sudden movement made her heart race, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that this was going to be a moment she wouldn’t forget.
Before she could respond, the elevator came to an abrupt halt, and Yunho seized the opportunity. He stepped closer, his breath warm against her skin. “You know,” he said, his voice low and teasing, “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
Y/N felt a flutter of nervousness as she shifted slightly, trying to maintain some distance. “Yunho, what are you doing? The doors could open any second.”
He chuckled softly, leaning in even closer, his hand brushing against her waist. “Relax. It’ll be quick,” he assured her, that devilish smirk still playing on his lips.
“Quick? Like how quick?” she stammered, her heart racing with both excitement and anxiety.
“Just trust me,” he said, his fingers trailing down her side, igniting a trail of warmth. The gentle touch sent shivers coursing through her body, and she found herself leaning into him, despite her reservations. “You’re my favorite distraction.”
Before she could protest further, he captured her lips in a searing kiss. The world outside faded away, and for a moment, it was just the two of them, the tension and thrill of being caught up in this stolen moment heightening every sensation. She felt herself melt against him, the kiss deepening as his hands gripped her hips, pulling her closer.
Y/N gasped as Yunho’s hands slid beneath her blouse, fingers teasingly brushing over her skin, sending jolts of electricity through her. He moved with deliberate slowness, allowing her to feel every touch. His fingers found the hem of her shirt, inching it up until they could access the warm skin of her stomach.
“You’re so soft,” he murmured against her lips, his voice husky with desire as he trailed kisses along her jawline and down to her neck. The sensation of his warm mouth against her skin made her shiver, a mix of pleasure and anticipation building within her.
He pressed his lips against her neck, sucking gently, and she instinctively tilted her head back, giving him better access. The combination of his lips and the soft pressure of his fingers rubbing circles around her waist made her dizzy with need. “Yunho,” she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper as she felt her body responding to his every touch.
His hands roamed further, fingers finding the delicate lace of her bra, teasing the edges before moving higher. With a deft motion, he unhooked it, exposing her to his hungry gaze. She bit her lip to suppress a moan as his fingers found her erect nipple, rubbing slow, tantalizing circles that sent waves of pleasure radiating through her.
Y/N squirmed slightly, both from the exquisite sensation and the very real threat of being caught. “Yunho, what if someone comes?” she managed to gasp, her eyes fluttering shut as he continued to play with her, the tension of the moment making it all the more intoxicating.
“Then we’ll just have to be quick, won’t we?” he said, pulling back slightly to look into her eyes, a wicked grin spreading across his face.
“Yunho—”
Before she could finish her thought, he captured her mouth again, deepening the kiss as his hands worked their magic. He shifted his attention from her nipple to her inner thigh, fingers trailing up beneath her skirt, teasing her just where she needed it most.
She moaned softly, her body betraying her protests as he caressed her through her lace panties, the friction sending spirals of pleasure coursing through her. He looked up at her, his eyes dark with desire, as he applied just the right amount of pressure.
“You like that, don’t you?” he murmured, voice thick with lust. “You’re my favorite little cum toy, and I can use you whenever I want.”
Y/N felt a rush of heat flood her cheeks at his words, a mixture of embarrassment and thrill running through her. “Yunho, we can’t,” she said weakly, though the way her body was responding was betraying her words.
His finger slipped beneath the fabric of her panties, finding her slickness. “See? You’re already ready for me,” he teased, rubbing in slow, teasing circles.
As the elevator remained still, every second felt like an eternity. She could hardly think straight with the way he was touching her, and as the pressure built, she felt herself edging closer to release. Just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore, he suddenly stopped, pulling back with a wicked grin.
“Yunho!” she gasped, frustration mingling with desire as he withdrew his hand, leaving her breathless.
He chuckled, a low, teasing sound that sent a thrill down her spine. “What’s wrong? I thought you wanted to play,” he said, casually straightening his clothes, as if nothing had happened.
Y/N could hardly process what just occurred, her heart racing and body still humming with need. The elevator doors suddenly dinged, and she quickly composed herself, smoothing down her skirt as the doors slid open.
“Yunho!” she protested, her voice a mix of disbelief and excitement.
He stepped out confidently, glancing back at her with that infuriatingly charming smile. “You’ll thank me later,” he said, walking away as if nothing had happened.
ANOTHER TIME
Y/N was busy cleaning up the kitchen after a long week. She hummed softly to herself, wiping down the counters and putting away the last of the dishes. Their friends were set to arrive any minute for a casual hangout, and she wanted everything to be perfect. Little did she know, Yunho had other plans in mind.
As she bent down to grab the last dish from the bottom of the sink, she felt a warm presence behind her. Before she could even turn around, Yunho slipped up close, his body pressing against hers.
“Hey there,” he murmured, a teasing lilt to his voice that sent a shiver down her spine. “Looks like you’re busy.”
“Just cleaning,” Y/N replied, trying to focus on her task even as her heart raced. “You know, the usual before our guests arrive.”
“Oh, I don’t think we’ll have time for that,” Yunho said, and before she could protest, he slid his hands down her sides, fingers trailing over her hips and teasingly pushing her skirt up.
“What are you doing?” she asked, half-excited and half-nervous. The thrill of being caught lingered in the back of her mind.
“Just reminding you how much you love being used,” he said, his breath hot against her ear as he positioned himself behind her. She gasped as she felt him press against her, the hard length of him making her pulse quicken.
“Yunho,” she protested weakly, but he simply shushed her with a teasing smile, his hands now gripping her waist firmly.
In one swift motion, he pulled her skirt up over her hips, exposing her bare skin. “Just a quick one, I promise,” he said, his voice low and sultry as he rubbed his cock against her slick entrance.
A soft moan escaped her lips as he pressed against her, teasing her with his veiny dick for just a moment before finally pushing inside. The sudden fullness took her breath away, and she gripped the edge of the sink, her knuckles whitening as he filled her completely.
“God, you’re so tight,” Yunho grunted, and Y/N couldn’t help but moan in response. The sensation was overwhelming, pleasure coursing through her as he began to thrust slowly, taking his time to let her feel every inch of him.
“What if they hear?” she gasped, the thrill of the moment sending waves of heat throughout her body.
“They won’t,” he assured her, voice dripping with confidence. “Just focus on how good it feels.”
As he picked up the pace, his hands gripped her waist tighter, fingers digging into her soft skin, leaving imprints as he thrust harder. Yunho's fingers slid up her torso, finding her breasts and pinching her hardened nipples roughly, making her gasp.
“Yunho!” she cried, both in pleasure and shock at how possessively he was treating her body. It hurt, but the pain mixed with pleasure only heightened her arousal.
“Keep those pretty sounds coming,” he instructed, his voice low and commanding. “I want to hear how much you love it.”
His lips trailed down to her neck, sucking and biting, leaving dark marks against her skin. The mixture of pain and pleasure sent shockwaves through her, and Y/N felt herself getting lost in the sensations.
Yunho pulled her hair back, exposing her neck even more as he continued to thrust into her. “You like being used like this, don’t you?” he murmured, his breath hot against her skin. “You were made for it.”
“Yunho, please,” she whimpered, feeling herself on the edge. “I can’t hold back anymore.”
“Not yet,” he growled, the determination in his voice sending shivers down her spine. He pulled back slightly, only to slam back into her with renewed vigor, making her cry out in pleasure.
“I want to feel you fall apart around me,” he said, his thrusts relentless.
“Shit, I’m so close,” she managed to gasp, her body tightening around him.
“Good girl,” he praised, his voice dripping with satisfaction. “Let go for me.”
With a final thrust, Yunho buried himself deep inside her, and she came undone, her body trembling as waves of pleasure washed over her.
“Fuck!” he groaned, feeling her clench around him as she reached her peak. The sensation sent him over the edge, and he spilled himself deep inside her, filling her completely.
Y/N leaned against the sink, breathless and panting, a mixture of satisfaction and exhilaration coursing through her. She felt him pull out slowly, and panic surged through her as she realized the mess they had made.
“Yunho, they’re going to be here any minute!” she exclaimed, scrambling to fix her clothes and regain some semblance of composure.
He smirked, casually adjusting his shirt. “Relax. Just act natural,” he said, a cocky grin on his face. “They’ll never suspect a thing.”
As the doorbell rang, Y/N quickly wiped the countertop, her heart racing. She couldn’t help but glance over at Yunho, who was already striding confidently toward the door, the look of mischief still dancing in his eyes.
“Best boyfriend award definitely goes to Yunho.” she thought.
770 notes · View notes
taeslarityy · 6 months ago
Text
dirty laundry ༄ dave york one shot (18+)
-> pairing: dark dave york x female reader
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-> word count: 2.8k
-> summary: it’s a hot august week at the york’s lake house, which also happens to be the week you and your husband got married one year ago. your father in law — dave york — finds you changing in the laundry room and decides to give you a celebration of his own.
-> warnings/tags: father-in-law dave york, infidelity, dubcon, NON-CON, age gap (reader is 21, dave is nearing 50), SMUT 18+, heavy degradation(whore, slut, bitch), humiliation, dumbification, unprotected piv, sir kink, rough face-fucking, forced creampie, talk of pregnancy, reader is under the impression that she endures forced impregnation, hair pulling, slapping, spanking, semi naive reader, dave is not a cutesy nice man in this.. he honestly has no concern for readers feelings or pleasure. so please, if themes like dubious consent + non-con + blatant cheating are not ur forte, protect ur peace and scroll away!!
-> a/n: okay okay hiiiii. when i decided to participate in @hellishjoel ‘s #hotdilfsummerchallenge, i had a few ideas in mind. one happened to be this! but i felt more comfortable writing for joel and was confident in what i had planned. basically, this is opposite of that. no fluff or happy ending.. or even happy anything. so i wanted to share! thanks again kylee for letting me participate <3 and thank you to my beloved dearest @sweetpascal for aiding me yet again, i love u 🤍
let me know your thoughts!
DARK CONTENT BELOW: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME.
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A huge part of growth, means acknowledging your mistakes.
When you failed your first semester of college, you knew it was from lack of trying and partying six days a week. So, you studied more and partied four days a week instead. When you slammed your brand new Mercedes into a flag pole, you knew it was from scrolling on Instagram which caused you to push accelerate rather than stop. So, you never went on your phone while driving again.
When you fell in love your sophomore year and decided to get married at twenty, you knew it was because you needed the well-off grad school bachelor, Daniel York. So, inadvertently, you settled. Now, a year later, you're sobbing in his family’s lake house bathroom because he somehow forgot that tonight was the eve of your wedding anniversary.
You feel like a complete and utter idiot. And for once in your life, you just might be. Staring at your reflection, you examine your appearance. You look effortlessly amazing today, after spending the day out on the boat. Hair, body and face all faintly sun-kissed. Your skin freshly shaved, legs and arms lathered in your favorite oil.
This was your final attempt to see if Daniel would stare at you with the same look of admiration he had so long ago. Your first attempt to ask him about starting your own family. Tonight was the night, and you were determined.
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Briefly peeking out of the guest bathroom and down the hall, you decide you can rush into the laundry room only a few doors down. Everyone should seemly be downstairs, finishing up a game of Monopoly. You had the pleasure of winning two games in a row, pissing of the frightfully competitive York family. That’s when you decided to call it a night and head up to get ready for bed — bidding everyone a goodbye as you kissed your husband atop his head.
Wrapping your robe securely around your waist, you make your way towards the closed door and enter just as the dryer sings the most obnoxious 45 second tune that confirms the load is finished. Rich people shit, you mutter to yourself. Grabbing your bikini and sundress to hang up first, then laying out a sheer white silk sleeping dress with baby blue lace trim.
Looking back at the closed door, you conclude you should be fine to just throw it on before laying yourself out on your shared bed. Ready for your husband to see you so open and willing to be used by him. As your robe falls to your feet, a slight creek fills the silent space.
Whipping your head back and grabbing the nearest towel to cover yourself, you're met with an alluring glare from your husbands own dad. Your father-in-law, Dave York.
"Dave wha- what are you doing?" You question with a panic laced tone. Completely thrown off by the way he's leaning against the now locked door, hands in his wrinkle-free perfectly fitted black work slacks. His lack of response is louder than the faint trickle from the utility sink your bare-ass is pressed against.
Dave saunters over to you, his pristinely polished shoes clinking heavily with every step despite the minimal weight he's using. It's a commanding presence, shows how he doesn't have to storm over to establish authority. His handsome body towers over you and the faint hairs on your spine rapidly rise at the feeling of his warmth nearing your own naked body. Aside from the small washcloth that covers your crotch and arm across your heavy tits.
His veiny calloused wedding ring-wearing hand reaches next to you, finding the lace on your nightgown satisfyingly soft.
"Look at this, angel. Did you plan on wearing it for my inconsiderate son?" He remarks, looking into your wide eyes as his fingers continue to twist and feel at a piece of clothing that is filling you with an overbearing amount of embarrassment.
"I d- you weren't supposed to see that." The nervous confession brings a crooked grin to Dave's face.
"It's real pretty, just like you. Sexy even.... but I wouldn't waste my time putting something like this on for Daniel." Shaking his head at your frazzled state and utilizing that dismissive tone he does so well.
"W-why?"
Pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance at your innocent unknowing voice, Dave reaches a hand to slowly move your arm that's covering your plush chest. "Because, he left 10 minutes ago. Waved bye to me as I pulled into the driveway."
Now you're really fucking confused. Your husband never goes off without texting you to let you know, and why would he leave you alone at his parents home? Especially on the night prior to your anniversary.
"I don't understand. Did he tell you where he was going?" You probe at him, not processing the way his rough fingertips are skimming over your navel, up across your chest. Suddenly, you yelp as he pinches your pebbled nipple and grips under your adjacent perky breast. Your hand quickly grabs at his wrist, but he slaps it away — holding it at your waist.
"You really have nothing going on in that head of yours, huh? Just floating around being the perfect little wife for my son, is that right? Too stupid and blind to see that your husband cheats on you every living moment and only married you because you're nothing more than a sweet voice who’s gentle on the eyes." His painful out-of-pocket words paired with the twisting of your nipples has heavy tears brimming at your lashes. "Kind of him to make sure you're gentle on his old mans eyes too.... we always did share a type."
"Fuck you," you spit at him. You've never dared be rude to Dave, or anyone for that matter. But his condescending temper, sudden violations to your privacy paired with the already upsetting feelings you've been enduring today was a breaking point. As you rip your hand from his grasp prepared to rush out of the room, he grabs your throat in a vice grip. Landing a brutal smack on your cheek that causes your head to turn from the impact, just for him to use that same hand to yank your hair back to a straight position. Body now pressed against your own — you feel the washcloth protecting your femininity drop at your bare feet in terror.
"Hmm. Never heard you cuss before, sweetheart. Thought I taught my son to train his wife better than that."
A heavy tear streams down your now red swollen cheek, as you take in the hurtful message your father in law is clarifying. You're nothing but a piece of fuck meat, a trophy wife. But clearly not honored enough for your husband to use you. Humiliatingly, the way Dave's clothed body is up against your own, has your exposed cunt throbbing and leaking down your legs for him. You were good enough for Dave York, and that was an honor within itself.
"'M sorry," you murmur at the feel of his covered thigh spreading your leg and nudging into your soaked pussy.
Dave chuckles at your nearly cock drunk state, "haven't even touched you and your leaking on my dress pants. No wonder he keeps you around, you're just a perfect little slut willing to please."
"Y- yeaah," you sigh lightly humping his thigh, even though Dave didn't even ask a question. Something within you just wanted him to understand your body was his to use, despite both your sacred dedications to other partners. People so close to you. His son, your husband. Your mother-in-law, his wife.
He swiftly moves his thigh from between your legs, pinching your cheeks so they're puckered willing you to look at him with those glossed over doe-eyes he fucking leaks over. "Use that head and address me properly."
Your head swarms for a second, worried of his reaction to an incorrect title. Testing the waters, you whine, "yes, sir." The words muffled by the tight hold he has on your face.
With a sinister grin on his face, Dave pushes you down on the solid tile — hand still threaded through your hair to ensure your head movement is in his control.
"Look at that, your brain does work. Let's see about that mouth."
Yanking the zipper down, he pulls his semi-hard cock out and slaps it on your cheek, precum smearing slightly. As you eye his cock, you come to the realization that he's slightly bigger than his son at half mast, and you're gonna have to calm yourself to handle a monster like that.
"Are you gonna show me how good you take a cock down your throat? With those dick-sucking porn worthy lips?" Dave peers down at you. He has started to jerk himself to full length, his thumbs barely touching around his width.
"Yes, sir. I am."
The way your eyelids flutter up at him, so docile and unaware of just how vicious Dave intends to be on your needy body. It unlocks that fundamental primal male urge that he normally suppresses during sex.
"Open your mouth, bitch." As your tongue lolls out of your mouth obediently, a dribble of spit going down your chin to your neck to your tits gleams in the soft light. Dave grins as he stuffs two fingers in your mouth, touching at your sensitive uvula. You instantly attempt suppressing your rare gag reflex, body unprepared for his actions. "Nice job, knew you were meant to have your mouth filled."
Dave rips his fingers from you and smears the thick string of saliva across your face — slapping you across the face, rather gentle than before. As he grabs his cock and lines it up with your mouth, you inhale deeply. Seemly more aware of how Dave likes to be. Callous, straight-forward and dominant.
Before you can suck him into your mouth, Dave spits right on his cock — some of it landing on your moisturized lips — just to slam himself down your throat. Your eyes spring open looking up at him, polished hands gripping at his slack-covered thighs. You feel your left over slick on his right pant leg. The taste of his long day is heavy on your tongue as his balls nuzzle at your chin. You're overwhelmed with his scent. The hair at the base of his cock tickles your nose, stud piercing almost getting caught.
"Riiiight there, that's fucking it. What a real fucking whore."
Dave lets his head fall backwards, eyes on the ceiling as he feels you sputter around him, your spit dripping heavily down his balls and onto the tile between his legs. He's unsure on how long he looks upwards, until he feels the digging of your fingertips into him. When he looks down, your eyes are bulging — about to roll into the back of your skull. So he pulls off of you.
Your belligerent cough is almost too loud for comfort, so Dave jerks his cock and plops his full balls into your mouth. And like the eager girl you are, you suck them into your mouth. Licking at the seam between them, letting them bounce off of your tongue. You lick downwards, tonguing at his delicate perineum. That small but dirty act makes him groan loudly. Loud enough for someone on the second floor to hear.
Realizing he's getting too comfortable, he goes back to filling your mouth. Alternating between shallow fucking of the throat and just letting it bulge inside. His big hands wrapping around your neck to jerk himself through the thin hump of protruding skin.
When he hears the shrewd screech of his name from the mouth of his wife downstairs, he pulls out swiftly and yanks you up, hoisting your leg onto the counter. Prodding his cock head at your now unbelievably soaked entrance.
Your mind is hazy and disorientated concerning what's about to happen. You feel like you've barely had any time to process the fact that your father in law is treating you like a common street whore. So, when he pushes into you, a wailing shriek escapes you.
Dave slaps his heavy hand around your mouth from behind, pushing in balls deep but not before releasing a moan of his own.
"Better shut that mouth before I stuff something in there... good god. How is that cunt so damn tight? You're snug around me, guess you're not a slut after all. Tight pussy but loose throat, just how I like it."
Dave proceeds with his relentless thrusts into your aching cunt. You don't remember the last time you were filled so thoroughly. It makes you forget how fucked up this situation truthfully is.
As Dave's cock is slamming into your cervix over and over, you feel your lower stomach tightening. He feels it too. Dave has been holding in his orgasm since you first fell to your knees and gave him those fuck toy eyes. So before you can cum all over him, he grabs you by the neck from the front and puts your ear right by his mouth so he can relay his special message.
"My son told me you've been begging him for a baby... how sweet. You just wanna be a mama, huh? Or maybe, you think having one will fix your relationship. Just reminds me how stupid you are. If a kid could save a marriage, my wife and I would've been happy ever since she pushed that little shit out. But, I'm gonna make it even better for you, sweetheart...."
Dave pushes to the hilt as you cum around him, whimpering behind his hand. Eager to hear his words, simultaneously terrified.
"Gonna cum inside and get you pregnant myself."
You scream into his hand, trying to push him away from you, trying to get yourself away from his spearing cock. All your effort does is push him in deeper, your body going lax at how stuffed you are.
"Don't fight me, angel. Just take it..." You feel his warm cum spilling into you, your body quivering. "Good... so good. I already feel your body sucking up my cum.. eager for it. Eager to be round with your father in law's baby. What will it call me? Grand-dad?" He snickers into your ear as he releases your body. You just lay there, half your limp limbs hanging off the counter.
Dave watches his thick white liquid drip out of you, and down your inner thighs. He pats your ass and tucks himself back into his slacks.
"Don't worry too much. Daniel looks just like me, he'll never find out his kid is actually his half-sibling. That is unless you tell him. You want him to find out you were on your knees being a slut for his, daddy?" Dave questions you. You don't speak a word. Just staring at the piped detailing on the cupboard that holds all the scented detergents.
"Just go, please. So I can clean myself up." Those few begging words take the reminanets of your little energy.
Dave grabs your now wrinkly nightgown and robe, pulling you off the counter so you're forced to stand in front of him. Body spent, his finger prints have left slight indents on various parts of you that you're positive will bruise in the days to come. You realize now, there's no way your husband can see you uncovered for weeks.
"You're gonna put this slutty outfit on and walk your ass into his room, with my cum dripping down your legs. He's been waiting for you, sweetheart."
Your jaw drops at his demand. Disgusted yet your cunt clenches at the filth of it all.
"I thought you said he left?"
Dave just smiles at you like you're a mindless child. You almost fall to the floor in despair at the discovery of what a lying sick bastard Dave has revealed himself to be. You don't know what to do. You've caught yourself up in this twisted game and as of now, there's no way out.
So, you throw the soft lace over your head and run your fingers through your hair attempting to fix your appearance. As you unlock the door, Dave places a gentle hand on your waist and kisses the top of your head. You hear him inhale your scent before he pushes you out of the door and watches you meander to his son's room, a slight limp in your legs.
You look at him, distain on your face as you open the door to find your husband scrolling on his phone. With an arrogant look spread across his face — "Where have you been?"
Dave hears the click of the door lock setting in place. As he walks towards the stairwell, he can't help but laugh at the memory of his vasectomy he received many years ago.
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thank you truly for reading! let me know your thoughts below or in asks!! reblogs are greatly appreciated <3
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cinnbar-bun · 1 year ago
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Affinity (Various OP Characters x Reader)
Characters: Brook, Buggy, Beckman, Crocodile, Zoro, Mihawk, Corazon, Shanks, Law
Rating: SFW
Word Count: ~4k
A/n: Reader is GN! I kinda made this after hearing about a special thing in my religion, and decided I wanted to do this. I of course made it more romantic in nature than the original idea goes, but hey, romance! I had my followers choose 7 originally but it went to 9, which is a very lucky number in my religion so maybe it was a sign? Who knows! Please enjoy <3
Tagging: @fanaticsnail @gingernut1314 @undeadeurydice @i-am-vita @kiribuchi @therosietoesy (sorry, I forgot who asked for Law my bad)
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There is a belief that before you are born, you were once a soul that had existed with other souls. Souls who had an affinity for each other would find that affinity carried in their time as a human. Souls who repelled each other would find that distaste carried over as well. Perhaps it was preordained, fate, destiny- whatever you’d call it. Regardless, it seems your soul has met with someone who once had an affinity for you…
Brook
Being an undead figure unable to pass on was not what Brook had in mind. In some ways, he was grateful for another chance at life, another chance to do what he previously was too dead to finish. Albeit, being a pile of bones did have its drawbacks.
While he could still function and do things many humans did, fact was, he was anything but. One look at him would easily make him stand out as something like a freak of nature.
Skeletons cannot love and be loved like a human. He could hold, but could not be held like a human. Admittedly, it had bothered him on occasion, but he always tried to brush it off with a simple hum or shrug. After all, he had his friends and crewmates- and he had a promise to continue fighting for. That should be enough.
But he couldn’t stop his eyes (if he had any) from wandering… couldn’t stop the way his mind wondered…
Just what could it be like if I too could fall in love?
Ah, but that’s such a silly thing for a skeleton to consider. Who could ever love the undead remains of someone long forgotten?
He’d practically given up on such silly notions like love or a relationship- it didn’t fit his current predicament.
So Brook focused on his music and his performances instead. He held up his violin and decided to waste some time on this sunny day playing for his audience of a few blue birds chirping at this green park. It was beautiful and reminded him of his day with the Rumbar Pirates- agh, nostalgia was always his weakest attribute, he thinks.
His fingers drift along the strings of the instrument, peacefully playing his weary heart away. He doesn’t recognize he has another guest until he hears slow clapping.
“What?” He turns his head, surprised to see you on the bench, smiling and clapping.
“That was lovely,” you comment. Time slows still and your eyes meet, shining (e/c) eyes with hollow black sockets.
If he had skin, perhaps he would’ve been red or sweating buckets. As a skeleton, he was not able to do things. But Brook was still a man through and through, and he couldn’t help but freeze at seeing the way your eyes were soft and full of admiration.
“I’m glad you thought so. Music is my pride and joy.”
“I can tell,” you reply. “I felt like I forgot to breathe for a moment when I heard that. I’m sorry for watching, though, if you weren’t looking for an audience.”
“N-no, actually it was…” he was too caught up in the way his soul was resonating and burning within him. “I appreciate it actually. Would you like me to play a song for you?”
“Would you? I’d love to hear more!”
Buggy
Buggy never believed in things like soulmates or fairy tales or blah blah blah- it was all junk! The only thing he ever could trust was treasure- shiny, bright, treasure! What else did a pirate need or want?
Is what he would say out loud- Buggy, even at a young age, was secretly a romantic who refused to let himself be swept up in the sentiment. When him and Shanks would sail together on Roger’s ship, Shanks would often ask what he thought about love.
Unlike Buggy, Shanks was pretty honest and confident about his assertions. Buggy would stumble and try to keep the bravado up, pretending as if he didn’t secretly yearn for a person who could look past his red nose and maybe possibly sorta kinda like him? Was that too much to ask? If you were Buggy, the answer was yes, because he would never allow himself the chance to be soft or vulnerable with someone. Especially not when he was already so sensitive about his looks and attitude. The thought of letting his guard down to be loved terrified him- what if they left? What if they made fun of him, too?
It was just too much for his fragile ego, so he brushed it aside and continued his hunt for treasure.
“Now where the hell am I?” He yelled, tilting the map in his hand left and right, as if that would somehow make his destination clearer. “Kinda crappy treasure map is this?”
He glared and shoved the map back in his pocket as he stomped around this town. He hadn’t ever bothered to come to this place before, so everything was new for him. He glared at the kids who were pointing at his nose to scare them off (mission accomplished), but his foul attitude still didn’t lessen.
As Buggy turned a corner, he accidentally rammed into someone. They shrieked, and his hat fell off his face and covered his eyes.
“Watch it, will ya? I’m walkin’ he…” he pushed his hat back up and came face to face with perhaps the most gorgeous person he’s ever met. His mouth was wide open, gawking at you as you gave an apologetic smile.
“Sorry. I didn’t see you there,” you said sheepishly.
“Y-yeah it’s… it’s cool. No biggie,” he mumbled in a daze.
“Are you alright?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah,” he returned to normal. “I mean, yeah, totally.”
You chuckle at his behavior, and something within Buggy’s chest makes it feel like there’s a million butterflies flapping inside his ribcage. He can’t help the dumb grin on his face as he laughs along.
“Sorry again, sir. I’ll keep an eye out for you next time,” you wink and begin walking away, making Buggy flabbergasted. N-next time? Was that a promise? He didn’t even realize what he was thinking before he turned around and tried to jog back to you.
“H-hey, wait up-!”
Beckman
Beckman was fairly ambivalent to the idea of a “soulmate” or “affinity”. Sure, he humored his often childish captain with those notions, but the fact was, Beckman was simply a sailor at heart. He didn’t think being “stuck” to someone was the life he wanted, and he was fairly sure a sane, rational person would not want to be the lover of a first mate to perhaps one of the most infamous pirate crews on the sea.
Now, this would imply you were sane and rational, and this would also imply that he was also not a sucker for you. Perhaps that was what made him attracted to you in the first place, or maybe it was something that gave him the idea that his captain wasn’t so off base.
When it came to you, Beckman was eager, a bit too eager, the others would joke. Whenever you called, he came running and answering like a loyal servant. Whenever you wrote, his lips would form a large smile while he refused to let the others look at the letter you sent. Whenever he was away from you for long periods of time, he drank a bit too much.
It was common place enough for the others to notice and tease him about, even if Beckman was adamant there was nothing there. You guys were just… friends, or something ambiguous like that. You didn’t need a label for your relationship. This was completely normal, you were normal, he was normal- nothing was out of the ordinary, so if they would please stop asking and make him confront those pesky feelings he-
Maybe he had a problem. He never felt this way for anyone else he encountered. You knew of his philandering, not seeming to care all that much, but damn it, even he couldn’t continue that streak because his mind would get occupied with you, you, you. Love was too complicated. Maybe this was the alcohol talking. Or Shanks getting in his head about “souls being attuned” or whatever spiritual jazz the red-haired captain would spout.
No, it really made sense, all things considered. There was no one else but you to make him quit fooling around with others on the islands he stopped at. There was no one else but you who invaded his thoughts, who plagued him day and night with those eyes, that smile, the way you hated that red cologne he once bought and-
Oh dear god, he was deep into this, wasn’t he?
Crocodile
Love? Spirits? Souls? Soulmates?
Yeah right, add that to the list of stupid things weak poets say to make their miserable lives have some meaning. You could jump through a million hoops to try and blame encounters and relationships on things like “destiny” or “fate”. To a man like Crocodile, however, “destiny” was just something he could control. Whether through bribes of money or through making them submit with his fearsome powers, “destiny” was nothing but another means of his affluence.
Only those who were weak and had nothing could not control their lives.
Something like love was a crutch used by those who had nothing to pretend they did. What was love to power? What was love to wealth? To fame? To greatness?
Love was the longest-running scam that Crocodile almost could be impressed with, if not for the fact that the sentiment around love made him want to gag.
Except, now he was actively looking for jewelry to buy you, flowers to deliver to your doorstep, and outfits to clothe you in for when you visited him.
It was almost disgusting how Crocodile was eagerly awaiting for your next arrival, for when he could be able to see you on the street or at his casino so he could see that face he adored so much. Those eyes that made him want to melt, that voice that echoed in his head, that smile that made him want to have an image of you adorned on his wall so he could always see it.
Something, he could never place what it was, drew him to you. Something made you seem to stand out to him in ways that no other could. He was Crocodile- world famous business man and pirate- he had no shortage of people throwing themselves at him or fearing him. Only to you was he trying his luck attempting to woo you to give him that look he loved. Only for you was he making excuse after excuse to continue seeing you, lying over and over that he had a reason to use you, that it was just a part of some master plan.
He exhaled another puff of his cigar and rubbed his temples.
Gods, why was he acting this way? He was Crocodile. Not a lovesick teenage boy, not some lonely man, not some simpering-
“Sir, (Y/n) has arrived.” His ears perked up as he quickly slicked back his hair.
“Is that so? Send them up,” he orders, grabbing his expensive cologne to spray onto him again.
Zoro
Zoro had never heard of the idea of soulmates or anything like that. When one lives, breathes, and dies by the sword, something like “soulmates” is just comical. He doesn’t need love to become the best swordsman. He didn��t need love to teach him how to pick up a sword and kill another with it. That was, in fact, the complete opposite of love.
Survival of the fittest, he thought. Nothing more, nothing less. You kill for bounties, bounties that pay, pay that gives you a chance to eat food. Nothing more to it. He never did more than he needed to, never worked harder for anything outside of his sword training and hunting. What else did a swordsman need to live?
He was currently drinking his fill at a local tavern of some random village he washed out upon. He didn’t care to get names, not when he was always moving, always killing, always leaving. “Zoro” was a passing chance encounter few got to ever meet or understand. He was fine with that. A bounty hunter didn’t need attachments. A bounty hunter definitely didn’t need someone weighing him down.
At the tavern, a few rowdy pirates were acting up. Yelling obscenities, throwing food and liquor at one another, making rude gestures- nothing out of the ordinary for drunk pirates. Zoro had no business with them, so he ignored them, continuing to order pint after pint.
It wasn’t until he heard a crash that he looked up. You were angrily yelling at one of the pirates who threw a drink at you, and his mates were drawing their weapons. It was clear you were outnumbered, so you looked around the bar for anyone that would help.
Normally, Zoro wouldn’t bother, figuring you dug your own grave by messing with pirates like that. However, when he glanced to your eyes, he found himself… staring. Lost. Entranced?
He didn’t know why he felt like he should protect you, but he always had a good intuition when it came to these sorts of things. He sighed, placed his mug down, then stood up, drawing his swords from their sheathes.
“Zoro,” he stated. A rare thing for him to admit so casually to a normal person. The pirates heard his name and shriveled up in fear. Zoro didn’t pay them any mind, instead tapping his sword against his shoulder impatiently. “Need me to shut these guys up?”
Mihawk
If you had asked a young Mihawk about love, he would have most certainly called you a fool for daring to think of such illogical things instead of focusing on one’s own strength and potential. While he had heard of the sentiments about love and soulmates before, he didn’t place much value into it. Love was a distraction from the training he could have done. Love was a waste of time. Love was just for weak-minded people who let themselves be vulnerable or gentle with another. Love wasn’t for people like him.
Which was why he was now trying to instill the opposite into his foolhardy protege, Zoro. Yes, yes, unfortunately, Mihawk was proven wrong from his earlier ways of thinking, and ever since then, he’s been doing his best to be a good man for you.
“I didn’t think a guy like you would have a partner…” Zoro would mumble.
“Of course I would. Do I not look like a suitable husband?” Mihawk replied as he was sipping his wine. “A marriage is only an aspect of your training and power.”
“How does cooking dinner help you train?” Zoro raised a brow, not believing a word.
“If you cannot handle a routine for even the most mundane and domestic of tasks, you cannot expect to be disciplined enough to train. If you think something like making your love a cup of tea or folding laundry is too hard or not worthy enough, you are not worthy enough to hold a sword.”
Zoro nodded, impressed by Mihawk’s reasoning (or maybe impressed at how you somehow made the world’s greatest swordsman so whipped and happy to make you dinner).
“Well, when you put it like that,” Zoro scratched his cheek, looking back at his mentor to see him staring at you longingly from the window. You and Perona were outside picking some of the vegetables at the garden, an activity you insisted upon doing despite Mihawk’s protests. You and the young lady were joking and laughing about something Perona said, and Mihawk sighed.
“Something wrong?” Zoro asked, unsure what Mihawk was thinking with his stoic appearance.
“No, not at all,” Mihawk shook his head, taking another sip.
“Then why did you sigh like that?” Zoro questioned. A smirk grew on Mihawk’s lips as he chuckled, continuing to look at you. You… you who were so special, who had become the apple of his eye, his strength, his joy, his passion.
“Oh, you wouldn’t understand it right now, my student,” Mihawk closed his eyes. “Fate is… it’s simply a humorous thing.”
Corazon
He always was a sensitive soul, despite his outer appearance and harsh exterior. But even as a child, Law could tell something was up with Corazon.
“Why are you always looking at them?” Law grumpily asked, folding his arms and raising a brow at his benefactor.
“Hm? At who?” Corazon dumbly responded, cigarette in his lips.
“You know who I mean! Don’t act stupid!” Law shouted. Corazon chuckled and exhaled the smoke.
“Sorry, gotta be more specific.”
Of course, Corazon knew who Law was referring to. It wasn’t like Corazon had hidden his affection for you, but that was for another time. You were something special, something that Corazon yearned for but could never have. Not when Doflamingo’s influence was so large and looming over his life. But even if Corazon himself could not love you so freely, he always did like to tell the young boy stories. Of course, Law, being a jaded little boy, had never really given thought to such things like “soulmates” or “souls knowing each other”. That was stupid and impossible.
Corazon liked to believe, though. It comforted him. It made him feel happy that, hey, even if this life perhaps didn’t work out for him and you, at least he had known you before. At least he was able to see you again. At least he got you in his life for a moment, even if it would end in nothing but heartache and pain. At he least, for just a bit, he got to see that smile, those eyes, and feel your hands over his.
It made his life a little less hard, a little less dull. The romanticism that despite Doffy meddling in his life, Corazon still had a chance with you, was meant to know and be with you… well, that was plenty enough for him. It made him happier, too, knowing Law was perhaps a soul he was acquainted with before. It made him feel like he was always going to be guaranteed love and kindness with you and Law, even if the world was unkind to him.
Yes, this new family he had found was perhaps where he belonged the most. With you and Law by his side, there was nothing more he could ask for.
Shanks
“You’re obsessed.”
“Am not!” Shanks yelled childishly at Beckman, before turning back to face the island they were planning on docking at soon. The wide smile on his face made it clear he was beyond excited to be there, and the other men chuckled.
“Don’t tell me you’re planning on running off to see em?” Yassop asked, knowing the answer.
“Oh, stop bugging about it! It’s just a little reunion with (Y/n), not anything crazy,” Shanks waved off. He breathed into his palm and winced at the smell of his breath. “Crap, does anyone have any mouthwash?”
“I don’t think anything can get that stench out. If they hadn’t run away cuz of your smell before, I think you’re good now!”
“Haha, very funny guys. Besides, it’s just between friends. Nothing weird.”
Of course, that was a bit of a fib, but who doesn’t tell little white lies? Surely he’d be forgiven for saying that by whomever was possibly in charge of making this happen?
Shanks, even with his overwhelming power and influence, did believe in superstition. It would be foolish not to, especially in such a dangerous world that a pirate inhabits. Sure, some of them were old wive’s tales from scared-straight sailors, but he did find them having some merit. He didn’t like to discount the seemingly impossible, not when it made even the most outlandish things possible.
He believed it was fate he got to meet Buggy and be a part of Roger’s crew. He believed it fate he met little Luffy in Foosha Village. He also believed it was fate he saved you that day. Some things just “made sense” like that to Shanks. It certainly made his life more interesting while also giving him a chance to bother you as always.
“Oh, come on, you can’t really kick out your soulmate, can you?” Shanks would tease.
“Soulmate?” You laugh. “Is this your attempt at proposing to me?”
“Hey, if you’d like it to be, I can absolutely make it happen,” Shanks replied, an earnest look in his eyes. You smile at him- crap, how do you always manage to make him ache and miss you? It’s gotta be fate, because no way could anyone have his heart in tight vice like this.
“Well… if you’re insisting, Captain,” you begin, smirking at him. “Why not take me with you? As your soulmate.”
Shanks’s eyes widened and the look on his face was a mixture of bewilderment and excitement.
“You know I can always make room for you,” he answered, trying to steady himself.
“Good. Although, we could share a room.”
“You drive a hard bargain, dear,” he chugs his rum. “Cheers to us!”
Law
Since he was a young boy, Law always tried to remain by himself. You couldn’t really trust anyone in a world of piracy and violence like that. Corazon, of course, always recommended otherwise. He even shared stories about a place where souls all were together.
It didn’t sound plausible or even remotely make sense. How would you even know if your soul was supposedly affiliated with someone?
It had been years since those days and the loss of Corazon, and even though he tried his hardest not to, Law still kept those stories in his mind. They were pointless and silly, but they were something Corazon believed wholeheartedly, even saying it was a miracle he got to meet a young Law. In some ways, Law felt somewhat similarly.
Love wasn’t for someone like Law. Too damaged, too cold, too logical, too afraid to ever let that feeling grow. It was how he stayed and remained for his life, and how he was planning on operating for the rest of time.
Until you, quite literally, crashed into him.
Jeez, you had to be a pest. Or a virus. Or a parasite. Something like that, but gosh, you were contagious. When you smiled, he found himself wanting to smile back. When you talked, he found himself thinking over every word you spoke in great detail. Maybe he was overthinking things, maybe when you said you were happy to have met him that was just you being friendly. Or something.
Almost always his mind drifted to you, feeling a certain way for you that he didn’t feel with the others in his crew or from the Straw Hats. You were different.
Perfect? Maybe. Definitely too good for someone like him, he’d think. But even with that self-loathing and apprehension, he found himself being drawn to you like a magnet.
Cora, if this is what you meant before…
Damn it, now he was letting things like soulmates and affinity cloud his judgment. He was a grown man, not a young boy, he didn’t need those silly delusions and ideas growing in his head and making him think he had a chance with you.
“Tora-o!” Luffy called. “Come here!!”
“No,” Law grumbled.
“Law,” you asked right after. “Do you mind helping me with this?”
“...yes,” he replied, stoically walking up to you to see what your problem was. Luffy gawked and pouted from the side, while a few of the others chuckled at Law.
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bamgyw · 7 months ago
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˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ the third night ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
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"i gave myself to satan, i should be a wrinkly old witch by now. my hair a tangle of venomous serpents, my skin green like a toad, black flames coursing through my veins." - belladonna of sadness.
cw: +18 so. blowjob (main event). long ass aftercare. hm. pet names. i suck at adding the tags. anyway. themes of misogyny and parental abuse. catholic guilt (expected). i always end up becoming desensitized from reading and checking it so many times, so it’s probably much filthier to the common of mortals than to me. and what else. no i think that's it. a/n: i am so sorry for shamelessly lying to you, i'm never promising a fixed update time every again. i can't help it, i do be a perfectionist. anyway. this part is long as fuck, sorry about that too. hope u like it. hehe. kisses. this is a part of a longer work ♡ go to the beginning here
desire is sin, and sin is death. that was the grim truth that had sunk into your mind. a persistent, gnawing thought ever since beomgyu closed the door behind him. it was your only rule, how could you had forgotten? how could you have been so stupid?
shame and mud had taken root in your body, their claws perforating their way through your soul and clutching every rosy thought, choking them all into submission. slut, nympho, mary magdalene, whore.
you were haunted by the memory of his touch, the warmth of his breath against your skin, the whisper of his words in your ear and the pain of knowing it was all wrong, sinful and forbidden. it was a sweet torture, a reminder of what you had lost and what you could never have again. not if you wanted this shame to go away.
if he had stayed, perhaps his warmth could have filled the void within you, congesting your body with butterflies and hydrangea blooms before the self-condemnation had a chance to seep in, oozing out your mouth, your ears, your cunt like a gooey toxin.
but he left, and you were alone. in that icy isolation, you came to realise that you would always be alone. letting him in had been as mindless as it had been short-lived.
he was your foolish indulgence, a desire fragile like a stained glass window that your daddy would shatter the moment he found out. just like he had with soobin.
so the morning after, you woke with tear-streaked cheeks, the dried remnants of your sorrow clinging to your skin.
your eyes opened faintly and with trouble with the first sun ray. they were swollen, your vision blurry from the hours of crying. your body ached from the tension, muscles stiff and sore from the night spent curled up in a pathetic ball.
you sighed deeply, the exhale carrying with it a fraction of your guilt and mortification, but not nearly enough to ease the tightness in your chest. you were physically clean, but you felt stained to your core.
like lady macbeth, desperate to wash the non-existent blood from her hands, you felt that anyone could detect the evidences of your crime. your missing rosary beads, the slightly reddened neck, the scent of him on you. if daddy barely even looked you in the eye, you were certain he would know.
the scant sleep you managed to get was haunted by nightmares—daddy's cheshire grin glowing phosphorescent in the darkness, while you cried out in beastly moans against beomgyu's neck.
it felt like an omen, a premonition that if this continued, you would inevitably be discovered. desire is sin, and sin is death.
the sensation of your bare cunt against the sheets did nothing to alleviate the flesh-eating sadism of your shame. you lay there, feeling exposed and vulnerable, the absence of your underwear only amplifying your discomfort.
a chill ran through you, mingling with the dampness that clung to your groin. the moisture on your body had felt nurturing the night before, a sign that your were alive, that you had the capability to love. but now it felt foreign and intrusive.
you reached down to touch your cunt, feeling the sticky residue from the previous night. disgust gnawed at you.
you had cried yourself to sleep without cleaning yourself up and now your soggy, sickening cum clung to you like a noxious reminder of your sin. like you were rotten inside, leaking with venom. you buried your face in the pillow and cried again, your sobs muffled.
without his voice, that sticky liquid was just snot; without him there, the memory of his touch disfigured into that of a nameless hand of the devil fucking into you, and yourself feasting on it like a wild beast.
you rushed to the bathroom, driven by urgency. you felt like you were going to throw up, but you only gagged, your stomach empty. "it's all in your head," your body seemed to say. "we're fine, you're fine." but you couldn't comprehend the language. for all your life, you had only ever listened to your mind.
your reflection distorted in the mirror, a stranger in your own eyes. you were always poised, you were always composed. but the blood injected in your eyes, strained from the crying made you look like a madwoman. breath came in gasps as you stared at yourself, eyes wide with desperation.
your hands trembled as you turned on the faucet, the cold metal biting into your skin. water rushed out violently, crashing over you. each drop felt sharp, like tiny knives against your flesh.
with a desperate breathing, heavy like the room was devoid of oxygen, you attacked your skin, nails digging deep as you scrubbed. the water turned red. desire is sin, and sin is death. desire is sin, and sin is death.
desire is sin and sin is death, but like baptism washed away the original sin, water could purify you again, sterilise your body. clean his being off of you. with each scrub, you fought to erase his touch, leaving raw skin in your wake.
when you were done washing up, you hid it all the best way you knew; under layers of clothes, thick and opaque, not a visible centimetre of skin outside your face.
you walked through your house, eyes glued to the floor, as if you had stumbled into a cathedral bare naked. the saints and apostles on their holy cards stared down at you, their gazes heavy with sorrow. they had watched you grow up from a good little girl into a tainted whore.
even saint sebastian, the christian apollo, offered no mercy. the blood-stained arrows pierced his flesh, and his blood-thirsty eyes pierced you whole. a faint smell of incense lingered in the air, the ghostly reminder of daddy's morning prayers.
but there was one last saint to face, the most hurting martyr of them all. as you reached the bottom of the staircase, soobin stood in the hall, leaning against the front door.
he wore that same charcoal grey sweater he always wore to college, forever unchanged, like a character from an animated sitcom. and, as always, he was there waiting to drive you to school. but that morning, you wondered if he could smell your fear.
“you slept in?” soobin asked, his tone flat.
“y-yeah,” you mumbled, your voice barely audible. “but i can skip breakfast. let’s just go.”
“you should eat something,” he insisted with a slight shrug. “you must be tired.”
your breath hitched, and a cold sweat formed at the back of your neck. “why do you say that?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.
“you never sleep in. you must’ve had a tough night,” he observed, his eyes searching yours for a moment before looking away.
“kind of, yeah.” you moved towards the kitchen, your steps hesitant. "i had nightmares. all night long."
he walked after you into the kitchen, silent and stealthy like a shadow. you grabbed a plain bagel from the counter, spreading a thin layer of cream cheese on it. your hands shook slightly, the knife slipping once, smearing the cream cheese unevenly.
he leaned against the opposite counter, watching you as you faced away from him, his hands casually shoved into his pockets. there was an unsettling calm about him, a relaxed stillness that would have been reassuring if it were anyone else, but not soobin. "beomgyu has trouble sleeping too," he said, his voice almost too soft, too casual.
you chewed your lip before turning to face him, trying to maintain a facade of calm. "and you do too. must be this house," you breathed out, your voice barely above a whisper.
you took a swift turn and walked out of the kitchen, your head held high. but your heart pounded against your chest like a drum. he knows. he knows. he knows. or maybe he doesn’t.
desire is sin, and sin is death. and now you had to wait, trapped in the uncertainty of not knowing whether your brother, cain, would betray you and get you killed. 
˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
there was always a puddle of muddy dirt at the entrance of the school. even if it didn't rain, the ground was perpetually wet. a slick, treacherous mess that swallowed feet and soiled shoes.
you couldn't trust that ground. you couldn't trust the school. a slip-up and the back of your neck would lie cracked and open on the soil, thick blood mingling with dirt.
you stepped carefully, feeling the mud clinging to your soles. that was the revolting start to each day.
there was a sign on the entrance gate, rusty and weathered, that looked like it could give you tetanus just by looking at it. it had always made your skin crawl.
the words "sacred heart catholic university" were printed in bold letters and they seemed to be smirking. they knew they were lying. there was nothing sacred about that school, not one thing.
if you looked into the eyes of almost any professor, you would see something rotten staring back at you. it was not as wicked as it was pathetic. not grand enough for a flaming crown of hell, but rather petty and small like a worm or bloodsucking lice.
you walked through them every day; rheumy gazes and moist smirks. old men leering at bodies they couldn't touch. or they could. they had. no one was stopping them, anyway. not the dean, not the bishop, not god.
every morning began with a mandatory service, the only time when the girls' and boys' sections were allowed to gather together. you arrived in mass to the chapel, and once inside, the path divided: the male wing at the right hand of the father, the female wing to the less prestigious left. you and soobin always separated there, each heading to your respective sides.
but morning services had one small perk: mandatory as they were, there was no attendance list.
so when soobin disappeared from view, you'd slip out of the chapel. alone, you might have not dared, but you had partner in mischief, a friend. the person who had walked you hand in hand through an uncanny semblance of girlhood. yeh shuhua.
shuhua wasn’t exactly an intellectual, but she had a sharp street-smart intelligence. a keen sense of the world. she had thought a backup plan for getting caught skipping church.
"here's what we'll do," she'd say, dropping to her knees, hands clasped in prayer. "oh, dear professor," she mimicked in a whiny tone. "how can a shy girl like me pray with so many people around? my thoughts are only for god, and i must speak to him privately for comfort." she cried out, then flashed a bright grin. "the nuttier we sound, the more likely they'll believe it. remember when that girl said she could talk to the virgin mary and they brought in a vatican official to check? we just have to play innocent..."
like a faint summer breeze, shuhua was fresh and witty, and she never let that dammned school, nor its metaphysical threats, nor all the ordained priests walking around earth to turn her cold. 
she was pretty, too, a boy-candy type of beauty. with long black hair tinged with red highlights, cherry gloss-coated lips and porcelain-white skin. not a trace of catholicism tainting her youthful features.
shuhua made the world feel a little bit bigger. she always had news about celebrities you didn't know, their affairs and gossip, the pomp and glamour god rejected.
it was fun talking to her. she wasn't a remarkable friend, or what they call a soulmate. but she was there. 
until she met a boy.
lee heeseung, from the male section. only one year older than shuhua and you, but with the distorted notion of being older than the world itself and knowing more than anyone. 
it started with a few stolen glances during chapel services, innocent and demure, and escalated to shuhua going down on him in the non-functioning professor bathrooms during the easter vigil mass.
all proud and excited, shuhua had recounted every detail to you like she had just blowed jesus himself.
“you feel like choking… more so if he likes it rough. and they all do.” she said. you had never seen her act that sheepish, but there was a slutty glint of enjoyment in her eye that made it feel less out of character. “he pushed down on my head a lot, so i kept gagging,” she said. “it’s not like i loved it, but he liked it so much, my darling boy.”
you remained quiet, like you often did. it wasn’t the violence of the act what disturbed you, but the devotion in her eyes as she recounted her pain. maybe boys really were dangerous after all, slithery and deceiving.
they could get you to enjoy pleasing them even if it hurt in the flesh. they were gods, demanding piety, and fathers, exacting control.
heeseung and shuhua started using their time skipping service to be together. it wasn´t shuhua and you anymore. it was heeseung and shuhua, and the malleable puppet of your physical body. 
they had asked you to stay with them as a sort of chaperone to mitigate the risk of getting caught. but at some point, heeseung began to pity you—or perhaps he found it too awkward to grope shuhua with you just standing there. so, he started bringing a friend to keep you entertained. you would have preferred he hadn’t.
choi yeonjun had beautiful flowy hair, and a charming smile, and he lived in a big vast playground he owned, called the world. his confidence bordered on tyranny, and that made him untouchable.
a disgustingly rich boy he was; the kind of rich that gets you into heaven. his father was a man who owned lands and homes, therefore owning other men. another dictator, just another man playing god.
"he's into you, you know?" shuhua's voice rang out as you both strolled through the tall grass toward your usual meeting spot. "you should cut the prude act and give him a chance." she said.
the blades brushed against your ankles, tickling your skin as they swayed gently in the breeze. the further away from school, the freer. even the landscape knew that.
"he's not worth a chance," you replied, stone-cold.
shuhua shot you a disapproving look and said, "you're beyond help, honestly." pausing to apply a fresh layer of gloss to her lips, the shimmer catching the light. "it's choi yeonjun. they don't make 'em better than that."
"he's cruel. and he acts like god’s favourite," you retorted, your voice definitive. "i don't like that."
the grass crunched underfoot, the rhythm of your steps a steady thrum against the silence. ahead, two human shapes, tall and slender took form—the two boys, blurred smudges sharpening into clarity as you drew closer. 
the moment shuhua’s eyes landed on heeseung, she couldn't contain herself and broke into a sprint, her skirt flying up recklessly as her legs blurred in a skipping motion towards her darling boy. her arms clutched at his neck, desperate and clinging, while heeseung’s bold hand slipped beneath the fabric of her skirt to grasp flesh, squishing her ass like an anxiety toy.
even before dating heeseung, shuhua had always favored a smuttiness to her clothes. however, the style had transformed into a sort of charicature of a schoolgirl since they started seeing each other. there was some freudian notion to the flimsy short skirts paired with the nunnish argyle cardigans that drove heeseung insane. 
the black cotton of your tapered slacks felt suddenly itchy against your legs. hot, suffocating.
"ice princess," yeonjun's voice broke through your thoughts, sharp, clear, uninvited. he stood slightly apart from the others, his eyes fixed on you with the usual blend of mocking and blatantly checking you out. "let me carry your bag." 
"it's not heavy," you answered curtly. heeseung and shuhua remained oblivious to the exchange, lost in their own world where the lines between love and possession blurred.
“oh, come on,” yeonjun's grin widened with a mischievous glint like sunlight flickering across the shards of broken glass, alluring yet sharp enough to cut. "let me take care of my pretty girl." 
“i’m not your girl.” you clutched the strap of your bag tighter to your side. "and we’re not in high-school. i can carry my own stuff." you said before continuing to walk.
he snorted out a laugh, then followed after.
the usual hangout spot was just a collection of rocks aligned almost like a table, their jagged edges softened by the creeping moss that clung to them like a blanket. the air was cleaner there, untainted by the scent of trampled grass and stale corridors.
shuhua perched on those stony pews, her legs folding beneath her with ease. in her lap, heeseung found a cradle for his head, his hair spilling over her thighs like dark silk being tenderly spun by her fingertips.
you sat nearby, your knees drawn up tight to your chest, arms wrapped around them as if they could shield you from the cursed memory of the night you had spent with beomgyu from slipping out of you.
yeonjun hovered close, too close, as he usually did, his body heat radiating onto your skin in waves. at times, he'd lean back, propping himself on an arm just inches from you, his weight shifting the balance of your shared rock. 
his hand would reach —a bird of prey circling before the dive—to toy with a lock of your hair. you felt the sweep of his fingertips, not quite touching the scalp, a ghostly sensation that prickled your neck.
and most times, you just let him do it. it was a twisted ritual of near-touches, the most explicit thing you would ever allow him to do to you.
sometimes he would lean into your ear and whisper “you're a cockteasing slut, you know?”, with words meant to burn. they tingled in your ears down to your pussy. then came in a nervous gaze you tried to hide, the redenning cheeks, and yeonjun’s stupid smirk when he noticed it all.
the attention you got from yeonjun was addictive and tingly like crystal meth. his warmth was a tepid thing, a sun struggling through winter clouds. it wasn't real, it wasn't love. barely even affection. just an obsession-driven lust. but it was enough for you not to die of hypothermia, frozen by your own frigidity.
or at least it had been enough, before beomgyu.
there was no room for yeonjun in yourself, not anymore. he didn't feel warm. he didn't feel like anything. not when every cell in your body thrummed with the echo of beomgyu's name.
that day, you kept batting yeonjun’s hand away from your hair, denying the only bit of you that had belonged to him. but he always reached out again, insistent, stubborn as weeds in cracked pavement. 
"stop it," you told him under your breath, the whisper harsh against the backdrop of wet kissing sounds from the happy couple.
"what?" he asked with a shrug and a cocky pout. his feigned innocence was as thin as paper. "you have open ends…" he trailed off, fingers splitting an open-ended hair into two.
"i like them like that," you snapped, the words sharp. "just get away."
"playing hard to get?" he prodded, his grin all teeth and no humor.
"playing 'leave me alone,'" you shot back, wrapping your arms tighter around yourself.
a laugh bubbled up from shuhua's throat, rich and unbothered. she lounged like a cat in sunlight, her eyes half-lidded. "woah, feeling extra-prudish today, no?"
heeseung's gaze flickered with something akin to mischief. "she's probably scared because of the kim minjeong thing," he smirked.
"the kim minjeong thing?" you echoed. "what happened?"
heeseung stirred like a cat on shuhua’s lap with a shit-eating grin. 
"her daddy found out she had a boyfriend. got real mad." he explained. "the man dragged her to the dean's office gripped by her hair. she kept ugly crying, it was freaky." his eyes didn't waver; they held the morbid fascination of one watching a car crash. "the dad kept going on and on about the school not being able to keep girls in line, shouting like a madman. they ran a virginity test on her to settle it.”
a gasp caught in your throat, strangled, "w-what's a virginity test?"
heeseung's grin sliced through, cruel and sharp as a kitchen knife. "they stick cloth up your pussy, and if it comes out with blood, you're safe. if not, well, the executioner will choose the punishment, i guess.”
you felt your face flush, heat creeping into your cheeks. this type of intrusion, a cruel infringement disguised as safeguarding, was the kind of love that fathers, kings, and gods like to exert.
"it's a twisted thing," came in shuhua, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear with a delicate flick of her wrist. "don't you get even more puritanical because of it, sweetie. it has no scientific avail. if we were underage or something like that… that would be one thing, but– i don’t know. it's just barbaric..."
heeseung replied in a mock stern tone, making the lazy impression of a war general, "age doesn't change anything.” he said. “no sex before marriage."
your hands were sweating against the fabric of your pants as you stammered out, "c-couldn't they tell if you...like, touch yourself?"
yeonjun's predatory smirk widened as he leaned in closer. his response was a simple question; "why, babygirl, would that worry you?" he kept his eyes locked on yours, waiting for your armour to break.
"of course not," you muttered, forcing out the lie through your dry throat. "just curious." you continued, trying to sound nonchalant, "i mean, it could get someone in trouble for virtually nothing."
"virtually indeed.” heeseung snorted with a laugh. he picked at the grass beneath him. “it all depends on how you define virginity," he said with a casual shrug. "for the salivating creeps who take those tests seriously, fucking only means sticking something inside of something else. so i guess that if you've only fucked yourself by… you know…” he made a crude gesture with a shit-eating grin. “then you’re still pure as virgin mary.” 
“that doesn’t feel pure, either.” you said. you thought back to the previous night when beomgyu's fingers had teased your clit, and you couldn't help but feel a familiar twitch. you pushed the memory out of your mind, shaking your head as if trying to scare away a pesky bug.
“non-penetration sex is not pure, but it’s not patriarchal, either. so it doesn’t count.” shuhua said. 
yeonjun’s next comment different in political aspiration. he leaned into your ear, "don't you ever go needy like that, baby" he said, his eyes fixed on you with a confidence you wished you could scrape off with your fingernails. “if it aches down there i can kiss it better.” he said. heeseung chuckled complicitly with a hollowed laugh.
"zip it, the both of you." shuhua's voice sliced through their banter, sharp and clear. such fierceness for a girl drowning in a pastel pink sweater. "honey, that test is total bullshit. it just checks if your hymen is torn or not. it’s this little membrane up your pussy which men have historically used to shame girls. it can tear riding a bike or with a tampon or whatever. it's stupid."
you nodded, but you weren’t convinced. you didn't think daddy would believe it. if they ran that test on you and you didn't bleed, what would you tell him? that you rode a bike too hard? he would never buy that.
heeseung snorted out a grating laugh. "she says it’s stupid now, but i survived the first month we were together off of blowjobs. she was scared stiff of anything going up there because of that damn test."
shuhua leaned in close, hed breath a warm whisper against heeseung’s ear, "like you can complain, you love it when i go down on you." her hand trailed along the sharp line of his jaw, fingertips barely grazing his skin before coming to rest at the dip of his throat. 
heeseung's cocky smirk grew wider as he leaned back on his hands, the rocky ground beneath him serving as his makeshift throne. "you know," he drawled out, "there's something so fucking heavenly about having a girl on her knees for you. i dunno... you feel like a king."
a flicker of your lip gave away your true thoughts, an unintentional twitch. heeseung's language was coarse, but there was an odd poetry in the way he spoke this time.
you thought of beomgyu. beomgyu your king, beomgyu the only one you would ever want to crown like that. your lips around his dick, his low voice praising you. calling you his baby, his little angel.
slut, nympho, mary magdalene, whore. said shame.
a flush of heat crept up your cheeks, betraying the sudden surge of nerves that coursed through your body. "i...should get going," you blurted out, the words tumbling out in a rush. "service will be over soon," you added quickly, hoping to cut off any potential objections and make your escape before things became too awkward. 
grabbing your bag, you hurried away from the group, taking quick and hurried steps. but it wasn't long before yeonjun caught up with you.
"wait!" his voice shattered the tense silence, causing you to stop mid-stride and turn to face him. 
"what do you want?" you asked, tone curt.
"what do i have to do for you to stop giving me the cold shoulder?" he asked, his grin widening as he continued to close the distance between you.
your voice sliced through his hopes with practiced precision, a sharp edge honed by too many similar conversations. "nothing, really," you replied firmly. "but what you can do is stop deluding yourself into thinking that anything will ever happen between us.”
yeonjun's grin didn't falter, but something flickered in his gaze—a brief shadow of disappointment he quickly masked. he trailed behind you like a persistent breeze, impossible to shake off.
"don’t you think you overdid it today? the whole nun act?” he asked, the corners of his lips curling slightly. there was always malice behind his playfulness. "you can’t fool me, you know? girls who act all cold like you are always the filthiest.”
your muscles tensed. “is calling me a slut the best you've got?”
“come on, i know you're needy," yeonjun said confidently, taking a step closer to you. he reached for your hand, but you flinched it away before he could touch you. "you have to be… pretty girl like you, restraining yourself... i could make you feel so good. put that mouth of yours to good use.”
"seriously, will you ever cut it?" you spat out. "i don't want you. i don't care about you. just forget about me."
you saw his lips press, his nostrils flare. sick of him, you turned to walk away, but his voice cut through the air like a sharp blade.
"is there someone else?" he suddenly asked, and you could hear the hint of desperation in his voice.
you froze in your place. "w-what?"
"you always get all flushed and bothered when i say nasty shit to you." he said. "but you keep acting up today, like you don't need me anymore. are you seeing someone?"
"leave me alone, i never needed you." you said, shoving him hard in the chest. he stumbled back, surprise flickering in his eyes before it hardened into something darker.
"touchy, aren't we?" he regained his balance, his grin resembling shards of broken glass. "i liked you with the good little girl image, but it gets me so fucking hard when you say no to me like this, too."
you hissed, taking a step back. all you wanted was space, air, anything to cleanse yourself from the filth of his words. you turned around and left with quick, heavy steps.
yeonjun watched you go, satisfaction gleaming in his predatory gaze. "even if you don't tell me, i’ll find out!" he called after you, his voice carrying on the breeze, "and you're smart enough to know that secrets are only safe if everyone keeps their mouths shut."
you didn't look back.
˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
helios ploughed the sky with his chariot and night fell everywhere in the house of god except in your room.
it was a deliberate postponement the night-time. a way of protecting the sanctity of your holy prison cell. your safe, warm, constraining prison cell.
you had stood under the shower for a second time that day before climbing into bed, letting the scalding water clatter softly against your face for what felt like hours. you lingered there, breathing in the steam, until your were sure you had washed away any residual trace of lust
you dried your hair with rough, almost angry strokes until it was dehydrated and feathery, and brushed it until the strands, dampened into thick locks, turned soft enough that you wouldn't dare allow anyone to tangle it again.
anyone. the devil. him.
the nightdress you had worn the night before, the one he had touched, lay discarded on the floor. a fleeting thought of burning it crossed your mind. maybe you would do it the next day. integral purification. eradicate the slightest trace of him.
you changed into a cotton short set, one childish enough to be laughable. cute little lilies over a pinkish backcloth. and to further on that naive illusion of shelter, you wrapped yourself into a black hoodie that had once belonged to soobin, its oversized warmth swallowing you whole as you sought to disappear within it.
the scent of almond soap and sanctifying shampoo lingered in the air as you sat on the bed with the lights still on. daddy went to sleep, soobin inserted himself inside his bed for yet another night of staring at the ceiling. the house of god fell silent. 
you hugged your legs, repeating to yourself that desire is sin, and sin is death as a nightly prayer. but when you finally turned off the light, the darkness only amplified the pounding of your heart. he would come. and you would have to ignore him.
maybe he had forgotten, even. maybe he had gotten bored of the toy and would just stand you up. that's what yeonjun would do if you ever gave him a chance. if the thread of unfulfilled yearning didn't tie him to you. or maybe it was that beomgyu hadn't really tried out the toy yet. barely even unwrapped it.
no. you had the gut-wrenching feeling that, for some god-awful reason, beomgyu cared about you. he had said he did, treated you like he did. if only he were more like yeonjun—more of a jerk, less needful and unhappy—maybe he would spare you the pain of sending him away. you weren't even sure you could.
in a desperate attempt to assert control over yourself, you had wedged a chair under the doorknob—a feeble barricade to separate you from your sin.
your door didn't lock from the inside, only from the outside. daddy had designed it that way, like a guardroom only he held the key to. the birdcage. the cushiony, secured birdcage you never should have corrupted.
that's how beomgyu had entered the previous night. the door had been open, a poetic invitation from fate. tonight, however, you closed it sealed and tight—poetically, physically, painfully.
but then he arrived. and he owned the magical key that was himself.
the first knock was faint as if the door could hurt. you remained still, every muscle tensed. a second knock followed, carrying a little more intent, a little more anxiety. panic coursed through your frozen veins. you wanted to hide in soobin's hoodie like a scared tortoise and never come out.
you squeezed your eyes shut, hoping that if you pressed your eyelids hard enough, you wouldn't want beomgyu so desperately. a hopeless wish to never had felt how your lips blazed against his, to erase him from your life entirely.
the doorknob rattled, the bolt clanking with an excruciating metallic sound and the safeguarding chair being the only thing keeping the door shut.
"please, leave," you whispered, your voice barely a breath. and maybe he heard. maybe a divine intervention carried your plea. he stopped.
silence stretched for agonizing minutes. your heart pounded in your ears, drowning out all other sounds. done. it wasn't that difficult. five minutes of agonising anxiety in exchange for a life of virtue. or so you thought.
you didn't even have time to cry his absence when his voice, haunting and mournful, pierced the quiet.
"remember, most gracious virgin mary," he began. he was praying. "that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided."
you perched on the bed's edge, hypnotized. he was asking for asylum in your prison cell. for you to let him lock himself with you in your birdcage. like the previous night, and for all nights to come.
he went on. "inspired by this confidence, i fly unto you, virgin of virgins, my mother. to you do i come, before you i stand, sinful and sorrowful." he said.
with each word, you took a frightful step toward the door. he was loud enough for everyone on the floor to hear him. but what was the harm, right? just the prodigal son praying to the virgin.
"mother of the word incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me." he said. "amen."
your body trembled. every fiber of your being wanted to resist, but you had to let him in; you were to be full of grace—the mother of mothers, praying for the sinners at the hour of death. your hand moved to the chair, quietly setting it aside. you opened the door, opened the gates of the promised land.
beomgyu sunk there, small, slumped against the door. he startled by its sudden opening. his eyes, rich brown like fertile earth, looked up at you—pleading and desperate. his youthful cheeks, soft like a girl's, and his blessed lips had shown you more love in one night than anyone ever had. you never saw the trident, the wicked grin, the feathered black wings of satan.
he turned and knelt, clumsily, like a mistreated convict begging for food, clutching the rosary beads you had given him in one shivering hand. "i thought—" he stammered out. "i thought you didn't want me anymore."
with a pained expression etched on your face, you motioned for him to be silent. beomgyu could see the lamentable dye that stained your features, but he couldn't decipher if you were inviting him in or pushing him away. a part of him didn't want to find out.
when he began to crawl towards you, you recoiled as if he was a disease. and that's how he felt at his core –like a pest that you couldn't get rid of. your heart ached at the thought. just last night, he held you close and whispered honey into your ears. but now you blamed him for your own sins and treated him like the devil.
you extended your hand and helped him up. in a subtle motion you closed the door behind him, trying not to make any noise. relief flooded his features as he leaned closer to your ear. "do you want me to leave?"
you kissed his cheek softly, like only you knew how, the touch of a feather. he shivered. "stay," you breathed against his skin.
you had fallen again. he had prayed himself into heaven.
the first step he took inside was bashful, but you should have guessed from the red-hot gleam in his pupils that a hurricane-stricken soul kiss was coming. no build-up, no easing you into it. just crimson cannibalism.
he took two heavy breaths. one. i missed her. two. i want her. and the third one he took against your skin after lunging at your mouth, breathing in the soaps and the shampoos and all your foolish efforts to plasticize yourself against him.
he pushed you against the wall with a force that made a loud thud, but he didn't care about the noise. he needed to close every gap, to melt your body into his. "i missed you so much," he gasped between kisses, his voice laced with desperation. "i've been thinking about you all day, about what i wanted to do to you... i couldn't take it anymore."
he devoured your lips, his hands roaming over your body as if trying to memorize every inch of you. "you're so good for me," he murmured against your skin, his words muffled by the heat of his breath. "so fucking good around me."
beomgyu's hands were like molten lava, burning trails on your skin as he pulled you closer, and you wanted nothing more than to let him do. to have him burn you down to cinders, to give your neck to him as an offering and let him blood-suck you dry.
but you remembered. desire is sin, and sin is death. it echoed annoyingly this time. like a nagging school teacher, an irksome jiminy cricket that spoke in your own voice.
you tried to push him away, gasping for air like a diver drowning under the weight of the ocean. "wait," you panted desperately, trying to catch your breath. "beomgyu, please– wait." you said. you poured a bucket of iced water over the volcano.
the lava solidified under the ice. "why? what is it?" his eyes grew wide, concerned.
"i don't want to feel like a whore again." your eyes dropped, avoiding his gaze. "like i'm– cattle.”
lava rock turned pathetically mushy. "did i... make you feel that way?"
you shook your head quickly, feeling guilty for even thinking it. "no, no. you were so good to me." you reassured, hands gripping onto his shirt. "but we– we barely know each other. why would you want me other than..."
"just for sex?” he finished your sentence with a battered expression. “is that what you think?” 
"what else, then?"
"no." he shook his head anxiously. "no, no. absolutely not. you're... you're like me. you understand. you get it. you feel good– in my soul. this is corny, i'm not good at– i... i just... this is the only way i know how to show it."
cute. you gently ran your fingers through his dark, tousled hair. he was fawn like everything nurturing, he was hazel all over. lush like freshly brewed coffee, mellow like a shot of baleys.
you let your hand trace from his hair to his chin, holding him closer. your noses met first, plumy. then the lips, just barely. they made a slight, dainty wet sound when they parted. "all the decisions i keep making because of you are so stupid. it’s embarrassing." you said. "i'm never like this."
"i'm..." the lava rock was now cotton, it was watercolour, it was baby powder. "sorry."
"where did you learn that prayer?" you asked, playing with his hair. he held you by your arms, trying his best to pretend that your lips didn't exist.
"i've been hanging around church," he confessed in a raspy whisper. "i never go inside, thoug. that would feel intrusive, i guess. i just hang around and listen to the services from the outside. i try to memorise the useful prayers," he said, "only that one stuck."
you raised an eyebrow, "the useful ones?"
"the ones that will get me what i want. isn’t that how praying works? and besides," he said with a sugary grin, holding the rosary beads up. he was sweet, so endearingly earnest. "you gave me this. i thought i should learn how to pray it properly."
"you weren't saying it correctly, though." you corrected him gently. "the first bead is supposed to be 'our father,' you were saying a memorare."
"who cares?" he shrugged, a teasing glint shining through. "it worked for me. it got me in here."
with a trembling hand, you reached out and grabbed the rosary hanging around his neck. your fingers closed around the cold metal, pulling it towards you. "take it off."
he clutched it tighter, his hand over yours, as if afraid to let go of it. "why?" 
"i don't like you with it," you said. "i like you out of god. you're the only thing i have that's not corrupted by it."
"but i'm trying to be a little better for you. purer, or whatever the hell you call it. so that you'll feel less guilty when we're together." he said. then his brows furrowed with ache. "you regret me, don't you? that's why you weren't letting me in." 
"it really hurt when you left," you admitted quietly. "all night long, i felt filthy and repulsive. like some..." you hesitated, embarrassed at your own words. "some wild animal in heat. but it goes away when you're here. it... it’s still there. but i forget about it. just a little."
a defiant look crossed his face. "then i'll never leave again."
"but you have to," you countered, letting go of his arms and turning way from him to walk toward the window. "or daddy will find out."
you heard beomgyu's footsteps approaching after you slowly, and you knew he was standing behind you now.
in haze and silk his hand found yours, which had been limp at your side. "but you like being close to me," he said softly, his arm wrapping around your waist, pressing your body against his. "and i like being close to you," he added, his nose tracing patterns along your neck. "you're warm."
"aren't you concerned at all? how can you not care about anything else?" you asked.
"because i'm crazy about you, you're my angel." he muttered as if it was obvious, his lips grazing your skin as he spoke. he buried his face deeper into your neck, breathing in your scent. "you smell so good."
"i just showered," you whispered, feeling yourself shivering under his touch. "it’s all i’ve done today, try to wash up."
"see?" he purred against your neck, with an amused smile that bordered on wicked. "you're a clean little angel. you have nothing to be ashamed of." he held you tight, arms forming a velvety belt around your waist. "i'm gonna be good for you tonight, take things slow. does that sound good?"
your nodded slightly, turning around to give him a soft kiss. though eager, there was uneasiness in your gaze, a loving intensity so hopeless it hurt.
he could take the hurt away, he was convinced. leave only the longing, the summery warmth and the tingling of the flesh. cupping your face with both hands he took your soft kiss and inflamed it into a fleshy bite, a mouthful of you. mine, mine, mine.
the room sweltered, wrapping you in a cloying embrace that thickened with the friction of the lips. with a deft movement he pulled away for a fleeting second, shrugging off his overshirt, the fabric fluttering to the ground like a lifeless body.
he saw your eyes widen, your muscles tense. the breath catching in your chest at the lost promise to take things slow. he lifted his palms like having been caught in the middle of a crime. "it’s– it’s hot in here," he murmured, trying to hush you. "just that."
you nodded. "yeah, yeah." you breathed out. stupid, wimpy, childish, prude, you thought to yourself. "i…" you started to unzip the hoodie, stripping away from your protective armor. "i probably don't look as good as yesterday," you said. "i'm sorry."
beomgyu exhaled a breathy chuckle, a laden smile tinged with affection. "what are you talking about?" he asked, shaking his head. "i look fucking gross in soobin’s old, borrowed clothes. these fit me like an elephant's skin, and you – you're… shit, you're so pretty – and you still apologize?"
he grasped your hand, tugged you towards him. he cherished and adored, and coated with his kisses and artisan lips the face of his angel. his little good girl who would sigh hummingbird whimpers against his lips as a warming, wordless praise.
he liked how you explored on him, too. how you seemed to prefer his upper lip and worked on it daintily, how you would pout when he pulled away, something he did just to indulge himself in the pleasure of staring at your lips get swollen and intumesced. how your eyes saddened, too, puppy-round and disquieted, silently asking if you had done something wrong.
gentle lips turned voracious, he couldn't help it. you were so tasty, so foamed textured, a favourite food.
letting his arm cradle you under your ass, he picked you up, weightless plush bear, your legs falling at both sides of his torso. you escaped a half-chuckled hum against his lips, a teenaged sound of cheeriness.
securely held like that, he walked you to the bed, where he let you fall softly, himself dropping after you. the weight of his body pressed you down against the plush duvet, but the suffocation felt good, the drowning in his oaky scent with no escape.
he focused on the fragility of your neck, silken, lovely swan’s arch. he pressed his unworthy mouth against it, nibbled at it, let his teeth sink in the skin, pushing the feeble line of pain and pleasure.
you shifted, rolling over together in a smooth, almost effortless motion. now, your were resting against his chest, his arms wrapped protectively around you. you could hear his heartbeat, steady and deep.
he watched you hovering above him. your hair fell around your face, a dark frame for your flushed cheeks and slightly parted lips. fucking beautiful. he lifted his head slightly and gave your a quick, animalistic kiss, almost like a snake bite.
his teeth caught your lower lip, holding it for a heartbeat longer, before letting it slip free. your back spasmed, punctuated by an acute shiver.
you let out a low, throaty whimper that resonated against his mouth. your lips pressed back against his with increased urgency, your fingers digging into his hair as you deepened the kiss.
"needy baby," he murmured softly, his voice a husky breath against your lips. "you still want me to take things slow?"
your hips began to move on their own, rubbing against him, driven by an instinctive rhythm. his nails bit into the tender flesh of your thighs as though trying to rip off the peel of a tangerine, to skin you out and envelop you himself instead.
but you both moved together, and his shirt lifted slightly, revealing a dark bruise on his stomach. at first, it was just a shadow, barely noticeable in the dim light. but as your movements shifted and the fabric of his shirt rose higher, the bruise came into full view.
your breath caught in your throat—a deep, ugly purplish hue marring his skin. the color at the center of the bruise was nearly black, a grisly shade that made the surrounding skin look almost rotten. the edges of the bruise were tinged with a sickly yellow-green, the mark of an injury struggling to heal.
"beomgyu..." you paused, your fingers lightly tracing the edge of the bruise, feeling the heat radiating from the inflamed skin. it was tender to the touch, and you could almost feel the pain he must have endured when he received it. "how did this happen?" you whispered, your voice a mix of worry and disbelief.
his eyes met yours, a flicker of something unreadable passing through them. he seemed reluctant to answer, but the concern in your gaze softened his resolve.
"it’s nothing," he murmured, trying to dismiss it, but the tension in his voice betrayed him.
"nothing?" you echoed, your fingers still gently exploring the bruise. he winced at the touch. "your dad hurt you before you came here, didn't he? that's why you left home."
his hands moved to cover yours, stopping your gentle probing. "it’s just... it’s not as bad as it looks."
"does it still hurt?" you asked, searching for his eyes, but he was steadfastly avoiding your gaze.
"no," he said through gritted teeth. "stop looking at it." he pulled down his shirt to cover the bruise with a violent tug.
you tilted your head, scrutinizing his lie and his sudden flare of irritability. it was uncharacteristic, a side of him you had heard of but never had seen yourself.
slowly, you reached out and pressed your fingers against the fabric of his shirt, right over the hidden bruise. your touch went from gentle to stinging as you pushed down, observing his reaction.
he bit his lip, a futile attempt to conceal his pain with a stubbornness bordering on childlike. when it really began to hurt him he finally winced, a sharp breath escaping him. "well, of course it fucking hurts if you press it," he snapped.
"sorry," you whispered softly.
you stayed in silence for a few seconds. you didn't know what to do, what to say, how to tell him that he shouldn't be embarrassed that his father was a sadistic brute. so in a movement as smooth as melting butter, you eased yourself onto his lap, your limbs wrapping around him with the languid grace of entwining vines.
you said nothing at first, just peppered his face with kisses, each one a delicate brush of your lips, grazing the tip of his nose, the corners of his mouth, and that upper lip you adored so much.
"what was that for?" he asked, still trying to perform crankiness with a tiny pout, but with a flustered red coloring his cheeks.
he yielded, his hands finding a natural place on your hips. with a tender smile, you murmured, “you've been going on and on about taking care of me, but look at you. you need care, too.”
“no, i don’t,” he retorted, his tone edging on petulant. “i can handle myself and take care of you while at it.”
“sure,” you reassured him with a soft giggle, your breath warm against his lips. “but let me take care of you for once.”
the kiss you gave him was a smiled out version of the wettened bites he liked to take out of your lips. a somehow tender ferocity, adoring. a violent hunger, soft like rose petals.
he liked lingering touches, gentle and exploratory. those that made him quivery and trembling. the kind that traced but not prodded, only brushed. and so you gave him that.
he liked wet kisses, deep and honeyed. kisses that felt like sinking your teeth into a ripe peach and letting its amber juice drip down your chin. and so you gave him that.
"i... still remember how good you made me feel yesterday." you whispered against his lips. he watched you in silence, pupils dilating at how bashful you were, how much adoration your eyes carried for his foul self. "i really tried to, but i couldn't stop thinking about it all day. about... you. i... i wouldn’t even know how to–" you stopped, words piling up in your throat. "how to give back."
your voice washed over him like holy water. a shiver run through him, the stirring whip of a stingray, from the nape of his neck down to his hardening dick. his eyes lit up with something animalistic, dark, even. there was a subtle change in the tilt of his head, an eager forward lean.
his hands were two starved beasts, roaming freely and gripping your body. you guided his touch, enjoying the tension changes in his muscles when he grasped the parts he liked best.
his fingers tightened firmly on your thigh, a strong ache of lust pulsing through his veiny forearms. he hesitated, eager for permission before moving his hands up to your ass. when you allowed it with a mild nod, his grip clenched tightly like iron.
he let his hands trail up, crawling under the shorts, beneath the underwear. the skin was tender, sweet marshmallow flesh. he kissed you violently, just for the sake of groaning into your mouth, to tell you how bad he liked you without the need for words.
pulling you closer, he grabbed firmly, causing your straddling legs to spread wider against him. then you felt it. him growing harder against you, his bulge pressing insistently between your legs, "b-beomgyu you're,"
"of course i am," he growled through gritted teeth, "shit– how could i not be?" his greedy lips traveled down from your neck, your throat, tour clavicles, leaving a trail of spit on your skin, icy against the air. 
"you were like this yesterday, too." you pressed your fingers against his tense jawline, feeling the strain in his muscles. “let me help you out, please, teach me how."
he hesitated. his baby princess was too pure to stain herself with his dirty self. he was just a ravenous dog, hungry, flushed and beastly turned on, but you were his little dove, his angel, you–
you took your shy hand down to his crotch.
you did so while looking him in the eye, firm but awfully nervous. trembling, experimental. you brushed against the throbbing bulge with your palm.
he drew his head back. holy mary mother of god, pray for us sinners. chewed on his lip. now and at the hour of our death. he was all in.
he put his hand over yours with the intention of teaching you, like you had asked for, but you stopped him. with a timid voice and a slight stutter, you requested, "m-mouth."
a hitched breath. then a heavy one. "you shouldn’t," he whispered huskily, “with those pretty angel lips…” 
you stirred on his lap, making him shudder with the slight brush of your covered pussy against his desperately hard self. "i have this friend from school," you began. "he’s not all that poetic, but today he said something… " you said, voice whispery. "said that having a girl on her knees for him made him feel like a king. i want to make you feel like that, too.” 
beomgyu's silence was charged, his gazy stormy. the heavenly image flashed before his eyes. his baby angel down on her knees for him. the blushing tint on her sinless cheeks. virginal hibiscus lips wrapped around his cock. all sweet, all fucking gorgeous.
he then said, "open your mouth for me,”
you did as he commanded. you parted your lips for a shy communion, reception of the body of christ. your tongue rested plump and glistening on your lower lip. pretty, pretty, pretty.
with one hand he held your chin. the other one he raised with his index and middle fingers extended, thumb holding the ring and little fingers down. he slid them inside your mouth, their sinewy length slipping past your lips, taste of salt, skin and wine.
he grunted when your plump lips closed around his fingers. gulped down his libido, his adam’s apple prominently bobbing up and down. soon enough —he told himself— be gentle.
guiding your head with a steady rhythm, he began to move his fingers in and out, the wetness of your tongue sloppy against them. "no teeth," he commanded. 
he entered a third finger in, stuffing your cheeks. the thrust got more forceful, his hand reaching deeper. you began to salivate, making a mess on his wet skin, unable to swallow.
you gagged when he pushed against your throat. then looked up at him, a glint of fear in your eyes.
“that choking feeling. it's gonna be like that.” he said in a sweet tone. “you think you can take it?”
you nodded eagerly, your voice coming out muffled in a throaty moan against his hand. it was a new feeling, but so sinfully delicious. a deep hot sweetness that got you helplessly soaked with its glowing tingle.
"use your tongue," he growled, his voice thick. you obeyed, letting it swirl around his skin. “such a good girl.” he said. your body quivered all over.
when he finally withdrew his hand, a glistening saliva trail draped down, connecting his fingers to your tongue. lewdy spiderweb of silver. without thinking, you leaned forward, pressing your lips to each gleaming digit.
then, as light as a floating bubble, you slid off the bed and guided him to sit at the edge. but instead of sitting, he stood up, looming over you. he was so tall, and for the first time, his height didn't feel protective but imposing, towering over you like a temple.
you gazed up at him with pleading eyes, silently for a kiss. he granted it to you. he could have been a giant, a monster, beastly like a wild bear, and he still would have brushed your hair behind your ear with all the softness in the world and leaned down to kiss you.
kneeling before him made you feel small, exposed, shrinking under his devouring gaze. but there was something thrilling in being so vulnerable to him.
your hands were shaking as you reached for the waistband of his pants. a ritualistic undressing of him, an unveiling of sacred flesh that you were terrified to ruin by being clumsy and uncoordinated.
his hand wrapped around your wrist. "are you sure about this?" he asked for the last time with a tender stroke at your head.
"yes," you whispered back, your voice barely audible over the thunderous beating of your heart. there was a shyness that coiled tightly around your spine, eating you alive, but there was also eagerness—the want to make him feel good.
you pulled down his pants, the big bulge in his underwear imposing, daunting. you pressed your lips tentatively against the taut fabric, the only thing you were certain you would do well, a slight whisper of a kiss that left behind a cold, wet spots.
the dampness seeped through the cotton, a chaste baptism of his aching cock. "pretty," he murmured above you, hand tracing your cheek.
a little more bolstered by his praise, your hands reached out and hooked into the elastic band, pulling it down with reverence. his cock was thick and pulsing, begging for your touch. rosy, gold-dusted. you gulped. this was him, purely in the flesh.
you leaned in, trailing soft kisses along its length and leaving small burning marks on his skin. his hand gripped your hair tight as he groaned. "you're gonna feel so good, shit."
with a hesitant exhale, you parted your lips, allowing the tip of his cock to brush against them. he tasted of musk and urgency. you struggled, trying to fit him all the way into your mouth. he was so big, so overwhelming for virgin stupid you. 
as soon as he felt your lips around him he winced and his hand gripped your hair, tugging sharply and sending a jolt of electric sensation down your spine. you felt a protectiveness in his touch, there was no force, only unreleased tension.
"you're so fucking beautiful like that,” beomgyu rasped, his voice thick. you leaked heplessly at his words. "be careful, alright, angel? stop whenever you need to." he said.
you pulled out for a second, just to answer to him. your lips closing at his tip, pouty. spit glistened all over his lenght like the glinting mix of melted ice and saliva on fruit flavored ice-cream. "don't hold back." you simply said.
beomgyu let out a grumbled groan as he watched take him in your mouth again, the plush walls of your cheeks hugging so beautifully around his cock.
slow and timid, you began the back and forth motion. the flow you managed was awkward at first, clumsy and arrhythmic. but with just a little silent steadying of his hand in your hair, you found the right pace.
“j-just like that, shit,” beomgyu groaned, his voice a low thrum that resonated through your ribcage.
the wetter you got, the more shame swirled like eddies in the depths. you knew she was waiting for you with her sinister glare, ready to and ambush and churn at your insides when beomgyu was gone.
but shame was titillating when your lower belly burned and your needy clit throbbed helplessly. shame leaked out in the form of arousal, pouring syroupy glitter. 
whenever you dared look up at him, you'd see the godlike vision of a strained, sweating beomgyu. his head was drawn back in pleasure and his adam’s apple bobbing up and down, escaping a profane mess of heavy breaths and lewd sounds.
his voice was so beautiful, too, you kept thinking. low and mellow, incese and wood. he sounded so good, with his raspy “ahs,” and roaring moans. you did everything in your power to keep him panting like that.
with every flick of your tongue and suckle of your lips, you could feel him twitch and tense. as you took him further into your mouth, his thick and veiny shaft hit the back of your throat. 
a surprining rush of excitement surged through you when i you gagged, tightening your core. that lewd retched sound of the choking turned into a cried out moan of pleasure.
you salivated against his cock, the mixture of his salty precum, your spit, and the tears that came out of your eyes from the asphyxiation making a mess that kept dripping down your chin. 
you took him deeper, revelling in your own gagged-out sputters. "y-you're taking me in so good," he praised between clenched teeth. “my baby, you sound so fucking perfect choking on me.” 
but then you noticed. the way he remained still, fighting every instinct to move. the exaggerated tension in his body from doing so. he was holding back. lacerating self-control.
you pulled out, finding no resistence from him. he immediately leaned down, loving concern in his eyes, but his breathing still heavy and messy, and asked "are you alright?" he asked, gently gripping your jaw.
and though he was trying just so hard to focus on your well-being, he mouthed out a strained “shit, baby angel...” in pure awe upon seeing you all covered in the mouth-watering mixture of glinting fluids.
"b-beomgyu," you gulped, voice broken. "don´t hold back. i... like the choking."
he bit his lip so hard he almost drew blood. "i don’t wanna hurt you," he said. a gentlemanly formality.
"i know.” you smiled faintly. “but i like the pain, i promise."
eyes round and doe-like, lips soaked in delightful filth, swollen and gleaming. a wet dream of a girl, you were. sweet dainty angel who just kept saying gut-wrenchingly hot words.
he traced one finger along your jawline, just one, all feathery. "you have no idea how perfect you are." he whispered. but his caress turned a firm grip on your jaw. big strong hand, poking fingers. he said, "you want it rough? then i’m gonna fuck your cute little mouth raw.”
he tightened his hadn't around your hair in a way that immediately let you know he wasn't grabbing you for guidance, no massages, no caresses. he wasn't playing anymore.
the first thrust back in was paced, but painfully deep. you let out a delighted whine around him, having craved the sensation of being filled by him again. then he lived up to his promise.
he pumped his cock into your mouth, thrusts steady and violent. that you liked the pain he took it religiously, believed it in heart and soul. and you revelled on it. sacrificial angel, dirty slut with needs.
but it was all you wanted from him, really. to pound his love into you, ruthlessly. to wreck you with his own hands and pick up the pieces after, kissing the scars. to carve in your skin a yearning so big and monstrous it could only be spiritualised in pain, only could be satisfied in flesh and blood.
his grip in your hair tightened into a makeshift ponytail as he urged you deeper, pushing you to the brink of what you could withstand. your eyes were so glassy you almost couldn’t see, holy lack of air that got your cunt trembling with want. 
a violent dance of pushing and pulling, giving and taking. with each thrust, you were the victim of his self-control slipping like sand through desperate fingers. his words became abstract, senseless, angel, and baby, and beautiful melted into one until all he could do was cry out.
never in a million years would you have been able to rationalise how you could've have gotten such harrowing pleasure, such a tear-jerking sense of utter love, from such a forceful act. but you felt it, everywhere in your body. in your whitening knuckles, in your sore scalp, in the ruthless thrusts that got you trembling, leaking, terminally ill in lust.
beomgyu got beautifully lightheaded. his every molecule trembled, his every nerve ending felt numb and petty compared the scorching beautiful fire there where your mouth brazed his cock, soon to explode.
"s-so fucking close." his body trembled with the strain, severing the bond of flesh and hunger. "h-hand– fuck, y-your hand." he struggled out.
he desperately fumbled for your hand, and when he found it, he guided it to the stem of his length, showing you how to stroke him, pushing him over his peak. you knew, you felt him tense up, get breathier, more desperate.
but he pulled out of your mouth. he grabbed onto your hair and pulled your head back roughly. neck strained, you let out a confused whimper. good little puppy.
that did it for him. he gave you one last awestruck look, and jerked himself off with your hand getting himself to cum all over your face with a shaky groan. 
warm liquid dripped down from his still-throbbing cock, landing on your quivering lips and streaming down to your cheeks.
he urged you to keep stroking him through his most sensitive, his whole body twitching and contracting under your touch. "ah, f-fuck. keep going like that, just a little more," he said.
he pushed through, your hand only a tool confined between his own hand and his cock. you were barely a puppet here, the symbolic means of lewdness, a kink.
you got to watch him attentively. his gorgeous hair shaking with him, his teeth almost peeling the skin on his bottom lip, the strained muscles of his neck. lusty frown, wax light skin, pearly sweat. your beautiful boy.
the oversensitivity caused his body to helplessly quiver and spasm all over, increasingly until it became too much and he doubled, finally letting go, his body folding in two. he let himself fall to his knees.
his eyes were glassy and rimmed with redness, his breath gradually steadying. he looked at you and whispered "fuck, look at that...", his eyebrows furrowed, as he reached up to wipe some of the cum off your cheek with his thumb.
the world went silent. tinnitus in your ears. breathe in. breathe out. breath not. shame arrived and choked you.
your bottom lip quivered. a round tear formed at the corner of your eye. shame gnawed at you with her ghostly voice of ice. slut, nympho, mary magdalene, whore.
beomgyu immediately helped you up, perching on the bed and sitting you on his lap. "what is it, baby?" he muttered against the shell of your ear, cradling you. "are you feeling guilty?" he asked.
your words tumbled out between sobs, raw and revealing. "it's the filthiest thing i've ever done." your gaze refused to meet his. "but i liked it so much, i'm so wet."
he reached out to cup your cheek, brushing away the tears with his thumb. "it's okay, you were such a perfect fucking girl, my baby. you did nothing wrong." he reassured you in a soothing tone. "let's get you cleaned up, alright?" 
you nodded softly. you still avoided his gaze, but your shame felt finite. he was there. you would be fine. 
he got up to get dressed, but he quickly returned to your side, not wanting to leave you alone even for a second. so invested in the caretaker roll he was, he insisted on carrying you to the bathroom himself.
“what are you doing? i’m fine.” you chuckled softly when he tried to pick you up, wiping away the tears that had fallen from your eyes, feeling their warmth against your fingertips. 
"i wanted to carry you," he replied with a pout.
he was determined, but you managed to convince him that it was better if you led the way. you were good at roaming around the house in the dark, a silent nightjar that could only get a semblance of freedom when everyone else was asleep. 
and so you exited your room in hushed silence, tiptoeing through the gloom, beomgyu’s hand securely wrapped in yours.
the coming light from your bedroom door cast eerie elongated shadows on the walls of the corridor. hazy and enthralled as you were with one another, you had forgotten to close the door, only leaving it ajar. big mistake. 
the bathroom was virginal with the scent of soap and piety—the place where absolution and sin mingled in the steam that rised from the heart of the house of god. 
beomgyu's eyes narrowed at the sight of the framed stamp of a female saint, perched on the sink. with a creeped out grimace, he plucked it from its spot and flipped it over, as if silencing an unwanted voice. the house was full of hidden eyes and he couldn't stand the feeling of constant surveillance.
you both settled onto the narrow edge of the porcelain tub, the coolness of the ceramic sending shivers down your back when it touched the fevered bare flesh of the back of your thighs. 
beomgyu fumbled for a towel, and with reverent hands, he turned on the faucet and laid it under the warm water flow until it soaked.
the water was a baptismal font, powerful enough to wash away almost any sin. but beomgyu wasn’t one to care about the religious symbolism. he just wanted to take care of you, gently wiping your face with each stroke, cleansing away the remnants of his cum.
"beomgyu," you whispered. the towel was warm against your face. it felt nice, hushed. 
“yeah?” he murmured, his voice barely audible as he focused on his task.
"…was i any good?" you tentatively asked, nervously looking down at your fingers.
with a mellow smile, he leaned in to give you a soft kiss before answering, "my baby angel. you did so well… so, so well" he said. "i’m sorry if i was too rough."
you shook your head slightly, unable to hide the smile that formed on your lips at his concern. "it's okay," you told him, your mouth curving into a bashful v shape.
as he pressed the towel against your neck, it felt like a wrung-out sponge. a few droplets of water managed to make their way into your shirt, sending a shiver down your spine. the dampness slowly crept through the fabric of your pajama shirt, the chilly embrace from a ghost hand.
"should we take this off?" he asked, not a trace of suggestion in his eyes, only care. “so you can wash well.” he added.
you hugged yourself self-consciously. "no... i-" you trailed off, voice barely above a whisper. “no.”
his gaze melted into yours, as if trying to ease your discomfort. "you shouldn't be uncomfortable with me," he insisted. "every little thing you do is pretty to me. you know that, right?"
he gave you a kiss that was simple and easy. not the blooming, lush cascades of perfumed lust you were used to, but steady and reassuring like soft moss. a tender formality of intimacy. a kind kiss, a kiss to trust him.
you slowly released your arms from their protective embrace, letting them hang limply at your sides, surrendering control to him.
"stand up for me," he demanded. and as you obeyed, he crouched down, his knees meeting the cold, unforgiving tiles. he reached out with steady hands to support you. "let me see just how soaked you are." 
a crimson blush spread across your cheeks. your fingers shyly reached out for the the elastic of your shorts, beomgyu’s hands intercepting them to gently pull down together.
your cotton shorts gone, all that was left to cover your pussy was an embarrassingly dampened pair of pinkish panties. the type that puritanical moms buy for their daughters at haberdashery stores - cheap, thin lace trimming the edges and a small embroidered rose at the center. 
the fabric felt cold against your exposed skin as the air grazed the darkened wet stain. embarrassing.but beomgyu's breath nearly caught in his throat as he laid eyes on the dainty cloth, delicate like wax flower, all soaked for him. 
"god, this is so fucking pretty," he breathed against your belly, his fingers trailing over the damp patch. he planted a soft kiss against your trembling sex, sending shivers down your spine. a twitchy chill ran through you.
he reached for the hem of it, eager to expose you further, but you stopped him. “not yet,” you breathed out. “please.”
his eyes widened like a puppy's and he looked up at you pleadingly. "to clean you up?" he asked.
but you shook your head. he stood up again, wrapping one arm around your waist and pulling you close. "i won't look," he promised. "won't see a thing. just like yesterday." he said.
“fine.” you said, giving in to his gentle touch.
he expertly slipped off your underwear with one hand, holding onto you with the other. you knew you were soaked, but hadn't become fully aware of how much until you were exposed to the cold and what had been warm arousal turned iced water.
you were nervous, but his hot breath and balmy kisses on your forehead eased some of your tension.
“now this,” he tugged at your pajama top, his fingers like curious spiders crawling over the soft fabric.
you flinched, jabbed his hand away. beomgyu's eyes showed worry and a hint of hurt from your lack of trust in him. still, he had a plan.
no words were exchanged; he guided you to step into the bathtub with him, closing any existing distance. firm yet gentle, he pressed you against the wall, the cool tiles imprinting their pattern on the naked skin of your ass.
as he twisted the handle, a sudden rush of water burst from the showerhead like a geyser. "we wash together, alright?"
the droplets rained down on you, pelting against your bodies. he threw his head back with a soft, painfully cute chuckle, watching the water fall like it was the first winter snow. 
his drenched clothes clunged to his body, but he payed no mind. he kept smiling like a little kid, kissing you with satisfied nibbles and smooches, cheerful like you had never seen him.
but the fun ended quickly. a shadow crossed his expression, filling you with immediate concern. he drew in a deep, somber breath, fingers hesitating at the hem of his shirt. with a tug, he pulled it over his head, baring his skin before letting it fall. you instinctively brought a hand to your mouth, suppressing a horrified gasp.
swollen bruises, bloated and purplish-black, oozed cruelty as they sprawled across his abdomen, his ribcage, his chest. once elegant and pretty collarbones hid marred under stains like dark, spreading ink blots.
his father had completely shattered him and then discarded his body like rancid fruit left to rot in the sun.
he pressed his lips together, avoiding your eyes. there was embarrassment all over his face, hidden under a bitter defiance. "don't look at me like that," he muttered.
"like what?" you asked, not sure how to respond.
"like you feel sorry for me," he said, clenching his teeth. "i'd rather you were just grossed out."
"i'm not pitying you, i..." your hand reached out, gently lifting his chin to meet your gaze. he resisted a bit, looking sullen. "this shouldn't have happened to you, this–" you began to say softly, brushing your fingertips over the bruised skin with a light touch. "you can't be ashamed of this. you have to be mad. outraged. you– promise me you won't go back to him."
"i've got nowhere else to go," he admitted quietly, his voice barely audible.
and you didn't know what to say, either. stay here was a stupid answer, unrealistic. you have me was even more stupid, as you didn't even have yourself. your existence together hanged on a fine thread. there was no better option, only prison cells and bloodthirsty gods.
"i–" you began to say, trying to arrange some, any, words in your head, but he stopped you.
"i don't want to think about it now, please," he said. "i'm happy when i'm with you because i forget about everything else. i like it that way."
he meant every word. he wasn't one to dwell on the future, he couldn't stand to throw away the counted minutes he had with you worrying. unlike soobin, he took pride in that.
he pressed a soothing kiss to your temple. "i'm going to clean you up now, okay?" he said softly. "and you'll go to bed feeling light and clean, no shame and burning in the flames of hell bullshit. you're gonna sleep so well and so peacefully without any of the wicked nonsense they've tried to brainwash you with."
a gentle smile from him, a thanking peck from you. the water cascaded on.
however, when beomgyu's hands reached for the top button of your pajama shirt, you couldn't help but flinch. a first fleeting thought told you it was uncalled for, but then it settled on you that letting him see your body was a stupidly obvious next step.
he had already shown you the body he was ashamed of, and now he was asking you to share in that vulnerability. "please," he said. "i showed you how shitty i look. i… really wanna see you.”
it was the desperation in his frown and the ominous presence of his bruises. with shaking hands, you undid the next button on your own.
the rest of the buttons you undid in gradual little steps, not daring to look him in the eye. he limited himself to watch with narrowed eyes and his heart in clenched in his fist.
the shirt fluttered opened, a central strip of your body in full view. collarbone, linea alba, belly button –all delicate and liturgical in the semi-darkness. but he didn't glance any lower. he promised he wouldn't.
he brought his hand to your waist, letting his thumb caress your ribcage. as he did, he drew the shirt away from your tit, displaying it for him. he shook his head, exhaled, "you're so fucking adorable."
with a delicate movement he gently flicked the other side of the shirt, your chest all to him. peaches and cream, lovely cottony candy. sweet, sweet, so sweet.
there was something so disarming about seeing you naked, too. a vulnerability in your eyes he couldn't resist.
your hands, trembling emissaries of modesty, moved instinctively to shield your breasts from his view. but beomgyu's touch halted their ascent; his fingers wrapped around your wrists, "don't hide from me," he whispered.
all he did next was to reverently lower himself and leave a kiss on the tender skin. the water was falling, and the effect he loved so much, that of his spit against your smooth waxen skin, was lost in the shower rain.
he left it there, diplomatically. he would come back tomorrow night. he would be back to touch you with all the calm of the universe, to experiment on your skin and discover the cause and effect of all the things he could dream of doing to you.
the next kiss returned to your lips. a voracious mouth-feeding on your flesh. sharp jaws strained and tensed for the pleasure of the plump hedonistic lips.
then came the washing, the cleansing, the radical eradication of your shame. he hugged your waist tight and loving, as if to save his own life, and took the almond soap without letting go of you for a moment.
it was the third time in that same day that the viscous liquid touched your skin. but this time it came from his hands, not yours. this time it was lukewarm, not icy and lonesome.
he scrubbed every corner of your body, and in every single place that was left cleansed he planted a chaste kiss. the rubbing of his hand against your groin might have been lascivious, it might have made angels and saints look away in shame and offense. but it felt not lewd, but kind. fatherly.
last came the rinsing of the soap, a removal of every last trace of foreign liquids –be it an industrial hygiene product, be it the worldly product of the body.– off came the guilt, too. the repentance and the shame, the homicidal shame.
under the water your soul was feathers, under the water the angel, the dove, the butterfly was light and untied.
once clean he hugged you in a towel like a baby, arms around your body, and caressed the damp hair that clung to your face. a light kiss on your hairline, a light kiss on your brow, a light kiss on your lashes.
"beomgyu," you talked under your breath, "i don't want you to leave."
a light kiss to your temple. “i really don’t wanna leave, either.” he said in helpless sincerity. then his eyes glinted playful. “but soobin misses me if i don't cuddle him to sleep. he’d get jealous." he smiled.
"he gets to sleep with you every night," you sulked in a pout that curled up at the corners of your mouth, "it’s not fair."
beomgyu chuckled against your skin, "i can wait for you to fall asleep, then i’ll go."
and the plan was perfect, and the world felt pink and glittery and like it existed for you and him and no one else. it wasn't your fault when you didn't notice. you were hazy fools in love, your minds too misty and cosy.
when he laid you on the bed in plumes and cottons and the sheets felt like clouds against your clean skin, neither him nor you noticed.
when you got in bed, him lying next to you and being physically unable to stop showering you with little kisses, neither him nor you noticed.
when he caressed your hair, your cheeks and the outline of your arm as he felt your breathing relax into deep sleep, your little heartbeat easing finally after a lifetime of guilt and agony, neither him nor you noticed.
not even when beomgyu reluctantly separated from you, planting one last kiss on your sleeping eyelids, "goodbye, my baby angel," and left the room without making a sound, not even then did he notice.
a fatal mistake.
not noticing that the door you had left ajar after leaving to the bathroom was wide open when you got back. that the overshirt beomgyu had tossed to the ground was nowhere to be seen. that someone else had been there.
a phosphorescent chesire grin. a stern boy in a charcoal gray sweater. or work of the holy spirit.
it was a faceless someone. but someone knew.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ next part.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ i took so long to update i am so sorry. ALSO. I INSERTED THE ETHEL CAIN LYRIC it fit so perfectly, i had to. there's a bts borrowed line, too. joon lyrical king. anyway. yeah.
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wolfiesmoon · 11 months ago
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Distracting
Nagi x gn!reader
okay i know this is basic and has definitely been done before but u can never EVER go wrong with a short nagi cuddle imagine can u
Tags: @priv-rose
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"Stop moving around." he sounded quite annoyed with you right now. All your squirming from under him was making him lose focus on the manga he was currently reading.
"Seishirooooo, I need to strech a bit." you felt pain in almost every single part of your body at this point. You probably should have stopped him from rolling on top of you in the first place instead of accepting your fate as you always do.
He somehow always ends up rolling on top of you when the two of you cuddle, like he's a cuddly yet way too heavy to handle cat. And he looks at you with that blank, irresistable cat-like expression every time too. It kinda makes you feel willing to sacrifice your legs, just for him to be all happy and warm.
"Later. I just need to finish this chapter." he got even more comfortable on top of you, sighing contently at your warmth and the sound of your heartbeat against his ear. Atleast one of you was enjoying this.
"Seishiro. This seriously hurts. Like, a lot." your tone became more stern, and he wordlessly let you go at that. Atleast he listens to your concerns.
You sighed in relief, getting up from his bed and stretching your arms and legs. It feels nice to not be completely crushed by your boyfriend for a bit.
"Are you done?" he looked a little impatient, like he needed your warmth back and needed it NOW.
"Jeez, am I your pillow or your significant other?" You stretched your back, making a little groaning noise of relief as you did so.
"Hm, definitely my significant other, I would say." he was a bit confused about the sudden question. Is this one of those strange boyfriend tests?
"Exactly. Then let me lay on top of you one time, so my body won't hurt and I won't complain." you suggested, stretching one final time before sitting back down next to him.
"...I can't do that." He looked away.
"And why not?"
"Too distracting." you could definitely see the pink creeping up on his cheeks.
"How is it any different from when you're basically crushing me to death under you? I can distract you when you're on top of me, no problem." Now you were just purely confused at his refusal.
"It would be way too easy to drop the manga and lean up to kiss you, that's all I'm saying."
You still don't fully get it, but this kind of motivates you to try getting on top of him next time, before he can do anything about it.
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plmp0 · 1 year ago
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Just why
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Summary: it was one of your routines to go live with some of your fans to show gratitude and probably attract more people to your group, but this time ur fan was a litlle too touchy for Sunghoon's liking.
Tags: idol!bf!sunghoon, idol!gf!reader,PWP, jealousy (for like 10 seconds), possessive sunghoon, kinda toxic, p in v, rough, mild choking, unprotected sex (don't do that), bulge kink, oral (m receiving), fingering, squirting, messy sex, aftercare. (I think that's all)
AU note: i wrote this at 4 am okay! idk wtf is this but yeah sorry if there is any mistakes and also eng is not my first language.
Sunghoon has been working out since this morning, he was so angry, seeing u flirt with a guy in a live was enough for him to loose his mind, he was used to u going live with one of ur fans once in a while and he was fine with it cause he knows how fans should be cherished as he has them as well, but when it's a guy that is constantly touching u, when his eyes never left u, he couldn't stand it, he is a person who gets jealous easily and he knows that and so u do and still you managed to upset him.
He sighed deeply and went to took a long hot shower trying to relax a little and calm his anger down, his muscles ached and his whole body was burning. He finished his shower wearing just his sweatpants while drying his hair, his eyebrows stuck together.
"You seem tense" u said from behind him and he didn't answer not even sparing u a glance, u came closer and rubbed his back, he let out a shaky breath, hands dropping the towel somewhere and he spoke without turning ur way "Did u really need to do a live with HIM?"
"Wdym?" U raised ur eyebrows, it was rule between both of u to not get into each other's work and it looks like Sunghoon forgot about that. He fixed his wet hair his voice hoarse "what i mean is that fan was Very touchy", u sighed rolling ur eyes Sunghoon has always been possessive for u but the thing is he doesn't have any reason to be so "well it's not like i was the one asking him to do that, we were live so anything i do can go against me, i tried to avoid his touches but yeah" u said sitting on his bed admiring his naked torso and the way the water in his hair falls on his body, Sunghoon clicked his tongue not liking ur attitude the slightest as he turned and looked into ur eyes and you got lost, his gaze was dark and full of anger hands on his hips flexing unintentionally his biceps and u felt small under his gaze, u swallowed thickly, his eyes following your every move as he took a step toward u, then another, and another until he stood right in front of u.
His fingers held ur chin forcing u to look at him "Sunghoon...", his thumb traced ur bottom lip shushing you as he sighed "why did u let him do that? Do u like it when a guy touches you? When he stares at you? When he flirts with you? Does it turn u on?"
His questions made you nervous, you know that his jealousy is the one speaking but u don't know why, maybe it's the tone he is using or the way his eyes darkened, either way he was intimidating. (and you liked that)
"Do u want me to show u what i do when i get mad?", he took a step forward, forcing u to fall back and his knee was between ur legs, his hands grabbed ur wrists holding them above ur head and his face was so close to yours,
"Tell me baby...what do u think i will do to u?" He breathed out his eyes on ur lips and u felt urself get turned on by the way he is acting, you have never seen him like this and you wanted him to go further "You tell me, Hoonie" u mumbled softly. "You like the sound of that? Me going feral?" He asked his eyes back to stare at urs.
"Show me then" u breathed out challenging him and he smiled, his eyes glinting dangerously, his hands tightening around ur wrists excited to take that brattiness out of you, He leaned into ur ear and bit your lobe whispering "i'm gonna wreck you"
Sunghoon pulled you up and pushed you towards the headboard of the bed, his body towering over yours, his hands went to hold ur throat making you moan softly, his tongue licked ur ear and trailed down ur neck leaving open mouthed kisses, he stopped near ur collarbone and sucked harshly, making you moan and squirm underneath him, he left a kiss on your shoulder and stopped to admire his art , his hands went to the hem of ur shirt pulling it off u and he threw it somewhere in the room, his fingers playing with the lace bra u had on, "white?" He thought ,u bit ur lip, your arms going to cover ur boobs and his eyes darkened.
"Don't hide yourself, let me see you" he let out his voice deep and husky, his hands grabbed ur wrist and held them over ur head his other hand undoing ur bra throwing it away and his eyes dropped to look at your exposed chest, his tongue wetting his bottom lip as he felt his mouth dry, you are so beautiful and the fact that he has you for himself always makes his heartbeats fasten, your cheeks heated up as u felt his gaze on you and he mumbled mockingly "what? Did u take back ur words?" And you only shifted your eyes from him shying away from him, and he chuckled leaning to take on one of your boobs in his mouth, his tongue sucking harshly making you moaning, he kissed his way to ur other boob doing the same as you kept squirming.
His fingers played with ur hard nipples and his teeth grazed it, u whimpered and he smirked, his hands going to grab ur breasts and he gave it a harsh squeeze making u gasp arching your back, his thumbs rubbing ur sensitive buds, "so sensitive", he kissed ur nipple and took it in his mouth again tugging it slightly leaving you like a mess.
His hands grabbed the waistband of ur jeans and pulled it down noticing the wet spot on ur panties, "Soaked already?", u looked away embarrassed and he held ur chin in place "answer me"
"Yes" was all u could say, a smug smile formed on his lips as his thumb traced your bottom lip, and u sucked on it almost immediately and his eyes darkened even more if it's possible, his mouth attacked yours in a heated and messy kiss, his tongue dominating yours as always, and his hands lowered to your ass, squeezing and groping it harshly. You moaned loudly, your hands tugging his hair and he groaned into the kiss, his hand slapped your buttcheek hard and you pulled away to let a small cry, he kissed ur jawline and licked it numbing on it and u pulled his hair roughly, "hmmm" he hummed enjoying every moment of this. His finger slipped under ur panties and rubbed ur clit, "so wet" he chuckled, and you moaned loudly when his fingers went to your entrance rubbing your wetness and coating his fingers in it. "Fuck you drive me crazy! I can't think straight" his breath hitched. "I'm sorry" u whispered you know exactly how he keeps overthinking things and you can only imagine what was on his head after watching your live, he looked at u with hooded eyes oh how sorry you are going to be he thought "tell me what u want me to do to you" he whispered lowly, "Anything, everything, please, anything you want" u said desperate for release after the amount of teasing he put u through.
"Hmmm" he thought for a second and his mouth found your nipples again, sucking and nibbling at them, "Hoonie...please" u whined having enough from his teasing and wanting the real thing (lmao bye )
"Please what? Say it, use your words" he said almost mockingly watching you squirm not even able to form a proper sentence "Plea- hmmm, I need u, please fuck me"
He chuckled, his fingers slipped into you and u moaned loudly arching your back, his digits were long and slim and his thrusts were quick and rough, he pumped his fingers into u making your eyes roll back, his mouth went back to ur nipple while his other hand was holding your waist firmly and u arched your back pushing him deeper into you, "shit, shit, shit" u cried. He can feel his cock twitching every time u made a sound like that, ur expressions captured in his brain, he love to see you like this, so small, so helpless around him and he was about to lose it when u rolled ur eyes back hips following his movements.
"You're so hot, baby, do you know how many times i thought about fucking you while you were dancing? How many times i wanted to throw u on my lap and make you cum around me in the middle of the dance room? Do you know how many times i wanted to fuck you in front of those cameras to show everyone who u belong to" he groaned, his pace getting fast, "Ho-Hoonie" you cried, the sound of ur wetness was so loud, his hand was coated with your slick leaving a mess on the sheets as well, his fingers curled inside of u making you see white, and even at ur fucked state u couldn't help it but spot how his hard cock was throbbing through his sweatpants making you whine loudly, and he laughed darkly noticing u "you want it? Beg for it, tell me how much u need my cock"
"P-please, I- I need u, I want u, I can't take it anymore" u said desperately, his fingers pulled out and went to rub your clit very fastly his other hand keeping u in place as u tried to get away from his fingers at how intense you felt ur release coming, u cried as you came undone squirting all over his hand and his chest, Sunghoon looked at you satisfied, your legs were shaking panting heavingly, your body feeling weak already, "good girl, you did great" he kissed your forehead and got up, u frowned confused "Where are u going?" You asked and he pointed at his lower half "I'll be back, just give me a minute"
Sunghoon took off his sweatpants and boxers, his length springing free and smacking his toned stomach, your mouth watered, the way his dick curved upwards and the veins around it, the way his tip was red and the way his balls looked heavy,HE was perfect, his hand went to wrap around his member pumping it slowly, moaning at the feeling making you swallow the lump in your throat. "You like what u see?" He asked, his eyes half lidded, and his thumb smeared his precum around his tip, u nodded slowly "want a taste?" He asked and you got up crawling towards him making him smirk ohh how much he loves it when u act like an eager slut for him.
U sat on ur knees, looking up at him and he groaned when your warm tongue lapped the tip his hands went to pull ur hair, he groaned dropping back his head enjoying the way your mouth was wrapped around his tip before you started hollowing your cheeks and sucking him, his eyes noting the was u didn't dropped eye-contact making his breath hitch and u felt his cock twitch in ur mouth.
You tried to take him as far as u can but he is just too big and long that it wasn't possible for u to not gag, his eyes opened and he looked at you again, his thumb wiping the tears in your eyes loving the way ur mascara was messed up  and his other hand cupped ur cheek caressing it softly and your eyes met his again after rolling back, he smiled lovingly at you and the way his eyes turned so soft made ur heart race. He pulled out of ur mouth, his tip smacked his stomach and you couldn't help but admire him, "do u like it? Do u like it when i treat you like a princess while i'm rough with you?" He asked and u nodded, he hummed and went to lay down on his back and you crawled over him, he held his length and u positioned yourself on top of him, his tip teasing your entrance before going inside you and he groaned at how warm and wet u felt his hands guiding you to sit on him and take more of him slowly, the stretch was so good and he hissed as u moaned feeling him filling you up completely, his hand rested on ur hips his eyes closed enjoying how good u feel, and u moved on top of him, rolling your hips slowly as u kept moaning "shit" u whined,picking up ur pace bouncing on his cock, his eyes were now glued to the way his dick disappears inside of you, "god! so tight" he groaned, his hand slapped your buttcheek harshly and the way you clenched around him made him grunt, he thrusted his hips into yours, hitting your sensitive spot again and again until you cried.
"So close, i'm so close" you mumbled and his hand went to grab your neck making you choke mind going crazy, "I'm close too, baby" he whispered.
He kept pounding into you making the bed squeak you were sure ur neighbors heard everything as your moans were getting so loud, he let go of your neck and you lowered ur body taking more of him making him lose his mind one of his hands now traveled down to feel the bulge in ur stomach and his eyes rolled back at that his thrusts now fast and hard, it felt so good, his cock twitched inside of you and u knew that he is about to release at any moment you closed ur eyes enjoying the way he was grunting and groaning, his hands went to hold onto your ass delivering a hard smack making u scream as he kept fucking you into oblivion. You kept getting close and you struggled to hold ur release "Cum inside, fill me up, please" u begged wanting to cum with him and he chuckled "my eager slut" he cooed his thrusts never slowing down, "m gonna make sure to fill u up dw" his fingers went to play with ur clit making your body shake uncontrollably as u dropped your head on his shoulder crying not able to hold ur release anymore and he whispered into your ear lowly "cum, baby" You rolled your eyes back, and let out a scream cumming hard on him, his hips stuttered against u his cum filling you up as well, he groaned deeply,"fuck, take it" he rolled his eyes his movements not stopping until he got rid of his high fucking his cum inside you more, his arms going to hug you and his lips kissing your head sweetly, the two of you laid there trying to catch ur breath, your legs were trembling, your body was weak, you felt him softening inside of you and he kissed your head again whispering sweet words in your ear as his hands rubbed your back soothingly.
"You ok?" He asked and u hummed not wanting to talk making him laugh at ur cuteness and knowing how exhausted you were, his hand caressed your hair, you loved this side of him it makes u fall for him more, knowing that you are the only one with whom he can act so sweet and soft, only you are allowed to see his vulnerable side, his weakness, u sighed softly hugging his buff body "m sure m gonna wake up someday passed out just because of your hard grip" u joked feeling his hug tightening, he smirked playing with ur hair "the only hard thing you are gonna wake up to is my morning wood darling" You looked at him shocked and his smirk only got bigger, u pushed him lightly "Park Sunghoon!" He laughed at ur reaction, his hand going to brush a strand of hair away from ur face moving so you can face him, he looked into ur eyes deeply his gaze was so soft, so gentle, full of love, his thumb brushed against ur cheekbones and he whispered lovingly "i love you"
Ahhhhhhhhh i should go to sleep fr, but yeah i hope u enjoy ~~
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kombuuuu · 2 years ago
Note
pavitir x reader cuddle hc🛐
Lovebug? No, Cuddlebug.
“Your hands are so warm.”
Pavitr x Gn!Reader
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my baby pavitr is the most bright ray of sunshine
You: Pink
Pavitr: Orange
(i’ve used Hindi for endearments, as in Hindi Pavitr Prabhakar means “Pure Light Maker.”)
This man will squeeze you and not let go
he is an avid “hug until he cant breathe” advocate
will let you crush his bones if you wanted
he loves the feeling of another person around him
doesn’t matter if your lying on top of him, or he’s on you.
sometimes he grabs you and presses against your back, drapes his arms over your shoulders and kind of flops there.
his fav hug types are 1 and 4 (predominately four tho)
“You doing okay there, Pav?”
“Thithli, my body is worn. Please hold me.”
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He will let you suffocate him if you so pleased
and absolutely adores when you try and crush him
squeeze as much as possible
literally try as hard as you can, he loves the lingering feeling of you on him
but if you get hurt if he squeezes too hard
he cries
he straight up sobs
he’s apologising profusely and not letting you tell him it’s okay
“Pav baby, it’s okay.”
“No! Don’t forgive me,” *sniffle* “,I hurt you!”
“I’m not even hurt, Do I look hurt?”
“..”
“C’mere.”
*sobs*
Now when it comes to cuddles??
this man is a god send
he’ll come back home to you after a day of spidering
lay you down and strip himself of his suit and gear
and will give you the best massage of your fucking life
and you know he’s good at it 2
you’ve seen how dexterous he is with his webs
he knows what he’s doin
his love language is touch and words of affirmation so you can imagine how that goes
“Doing so good for me, Shonu.”
“Just relax, your doing great.”
“Mm, relaxed, jus’ wan’ cuddle you.”
“We can cuddle after, need you comfy.”
He even goes shopping sometimes just to get you massage oils
the ones that smell nice
they remind him of you, okay? leave him alone
he loves u
“Baby, what are these?”
“They’re massage oils! I’m thinking maybe we should get a massage table too, we can make the whole set up.”
“Why are there so many?”
“I chose the ones that smelt most like you.”
“…You think I smell like vanilla cinnamon?”
“Yeah—“ *kiss*
“Oh! Awe, love you too.”
“Hmmph”
Now comes the cuddles,
once he’s finished he’ll put everything away and lay down next to you
your basically deadweight at this point
like you feel like jelly
will snuggle up against you
loves putting his head on your chest, or your stomach
he likes feeling like he’s worshipping you
when you’re almost asleep, he’ll lay down next to you
will wrap his arms around your waist and drag your body over his
will fix your limbs so your basically buried in him
put your arms around his neck, your head tucked under his chin
let you move around as much as you want
you’re uncomfy this way? okay, he’ll move his leg
your arms are dead, bring em down baby
“Pav.. My hand is dead.”
“Oh! Thithli, am I laying on it?”
“Mm.. Felt good at first. Now it’s dead.”
“Move it here, honey, c’mon.”
“Your hands are so warm!”
“You were warmin’ ‘em up.”
All with a smile on his face
he loves sleepy you
it’s knowing how much you trust him that brings him to his knees
how vulnerable you can be with him that has him swooning in his hopeless romanticism
sings to you sometimes
only when your asleep
when he’s still up, maybe thinking about spider things
or even just school
he gives you a little hum
you don’t even know how much you love it
or subconsciously love it
it’s such a nice feeling to lay on his rumbling chest
like your being lulled into a deeper sleep
eventually falls asleep with you, and will probably wake up half way off the bed with you clinging onto him
bonus!!
THREAD UR HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR!!!!! MANS WILL MELT I KNOW IT
losing my mind hes so fucking cute hes so adorable he’s so baby
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tags :>
@sodapopzds @squiiv @blublubluu
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pablitogavii · 1 year ago
Note
have u heard about gavi injury:((( he could be out for 9 months and i just cried so bad today:(( can u write a fic of reader comforting him after it? :( thank you and we all wishing him a speedy recovery 😭
First, it’s really hard to write about this..he deserved better 😭❤️
Till Forever Falls Apart
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He got injured and when he came home to you everything changed..you expected him to struggle..but this was completely different Pablo..no more smiles..giggles..happiness..just a grim face and painful expression when his pain medications wore off.
“Would you like the cold compress while you wait amor??” You asked but be was just staring at the screen in silence not even watching the show.
“Pablito? Please,talk to me amor..it’s been days” you sat down and when he felt the couch dip he finally looked at you.
“Yeah, cold compress is fine..” was all he said and you sighed walking towards the kitchen to bring it to him to place it on his knee.
“Are you hungry??” You ask but he just shook his head grabbing his crutches about to get up silently.
“I’m tired. Maybe you should just leave me..I know I’m not what a girl needs right now” he said with tears in his eyes and your face froze as you stood up as well. What the hell was be talking about!!? Why would you leave him now??
“Amor..what..??” you couldn’t even bear to finish that sentence feeling your own eyes fill with hot tears.
“I’m nothing anymore!! All girls want is a football star and I can’t even walk now! I’m like a baby learning to walk again..just please..you fell in love with a footballer and not an invalid!!!!!” he was crying now and so were you. How could be say something so awful about himself to you.. doesn’t he know that hurts you more than any insult he would give you..you couldn’t stop sobbing in front of him.
“How could you be so selfish Pablo!? Nothing!? You are nothing!? And what about people who love you,huh!? Don’t you think they would suffer to hear you say that!? I didn’t fall in love with Pablo Gavi!! I fell in love with Pablo..my Pablo..boy who buys me flowers on the weekends..and takes me on walks..my Pablito who hates that nickname but let’s me use it anyhow cause I like it..I am here because I WANT TO BE HERE WITH YOU..FOREVER amor!!!!!!!” You were screaming by the end and he was holding onto every word now crying himself and sitting back down cause he couldn’t hold onto crutches anymore.
“I’m sorry preciosa..” he sighed crying into his hands as you took them in hours and pulled him to you chest where he continued to sob.
“Shh..shh it’s okay..I’m here..you’re okay” he was crying loudly while you rubbed his naked back gently kissing the crook of his neck and shoulder..(gif)
“I’m scared..I’m so scared amor” he menage to say and let out a sigh nodding your head and holding him tightly.
“I’m scared too cariño..but we will figure it out..first the tests..then the operation..and then the recovery. I’ll be here every step of the way and I believe in you..we all believe in you precioso” you said pulling back a little to clean his tears and he slowly calms down.
“What if this is the end of my career?? What if I’m too scared to play again?” He asked and you kissed his forehead longingly.
“You love football too much to quit..I know you and I know this is just your fear talking..once you’re back on that pitch, you will know what to do..trust me??” You ask and he smiles weakly nodding his head looking adorably into your eyes.
“I trust you preciosa..” he said and you smile nodding your head kindly and kissing his forehead. Later you helped him to bed, tucking him in and bribing his evening medication with some water.
“They’re all tagging me and I just can’t look at the screen right now..” Pablo said and you nod taking his phone and putting it on charger.
“They know you appreciate it..just rest cariño..this is your time to relax and take care of yourself” you say and he smiled thinking to himself how everything seems to be easy coming from your mouth. You bring him peace..you’re him home.
“With you by my side..come here preciosa” he said opening his arms and you smile carefully getting under the comforter not to hurt him before laying your head on his chest as he pulled you close to him.
“Don’t ever say that again..it hurt so much to hear it “ you say still crying over his words.
“I promise..I love you so much!!” he said kissing hour head and you look up making him kiss your lips.
“I love you too!!” you say into the passionate kiss you two shared then. Then, cuddled up together you fall asleep ready to face everything days bring together!!
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zumicho · 6 months ago
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blueprints — two : wallpaper
one three main masterlist
cw: argument, angst (lol), religious references, flawed characters
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between you and him: normalcy is nonexistent. the arguments aren’t heated enough to call for making amends, yet there’s a suffocating presence of wrong. an unwelcome thickness in the air that swallows the very life of your relationship, stabbing daggers at what once was.
‘you say it’s complicated, to make amends — well is that the way, that we’re headed then?’
there’s a different hurt to a betrayal that you know is coming.
“beige or paper-white?” keiji’s voice jerks you into the present.
you don’t recall how you ended up here, at the local wallpaper shop, rummaging through the ‘neutrals’ section, with the last person you’d expect. there’s a cryptic message in his gaze that you fail to decipher. he's waiting for you to respond.
“blue.”
a pause, followed by a resigned sigh. “can you take me seriously?”
“I am serious, keiji. I like the blue.”
“the blue displayed in the children’s section?” his brows scrunch.
“when will you stop letting everyone else’s view dictate your perspective?” you snap. “why do you care so much what they think?”
“I’m starting to think this isn’t just about wallpaper.”
you’d never guess that someone who wants to build houses for a living was scared of creating a home.
“it isn’t.” you’re crying. “it’s about how you refuse to try.” the tears are pathetic. because they won’t change anything. nothing will change how he thinks. they’re pathetic because they’re wasted on a situation that will stay the same regardless of what you say or do. “It’s about how I don’t matter enough — for you to try at all.”
the call of your name cuts the flashback short.
he’s crossing the room. three strides, till your face is buried into his shoulder, staining the royal blue sweater you bought him on his birthday. your nails dig into his forearms — an overwhelming sense of if I let go I lose you. akaashi’s holding on just as tight.
“I’m not ready for a house, love.”
“don’t call me that.”
“I’m trying to make this easier. on the both of us.” only the falter in his tone allows you to notice the fatigue weighing down on his shoulders, evident in the dark circles under his eyes. you don’t pity him. you should, but the anger outweighs it.
“easier on the both of us, or on you?”
“would you believe me if I said you do matter? that I’m ready to try?”
you take his words and squeeze them into an IV bag, letting it flow through your bloodstream, letting them marinate and seep deep into your brain.
his patience was slipping. “I don’t know what you want me to say. you want me to understand you, but you refuse to step into my shoes. have you considered that I’m scared?” akaashi stumbles over the last word. “talking to you is walking on eggshells.”
‘it takes strength to forgive, but I don’t feel strong.’
you lost grip of yours. “don’t yell at me for walking on eggshells you placed in this relationship.” is this how Jesus felt? when he knew Judas would betray him, and loved him nevertheless?
akaashi read the question off your face.
do you want to end this?
to your relief, he shook his head.
“how do you break up with someone who has half your soul,
and all of you?”
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© froyaoya all rights reserved.
a/n: ness if u see this u brought me back into my NIKI phase. lol this fic is just my new vent medium so I’m sorry if it’s incomprehensible, messy, all of the above. proofreading tmr
tags @causenessus @wyrcan @greninjafan5000 @aliensstolemyheart @nursedflowers @whosmiadotcom @cr4yolaas @jeoo-saw @httpsivy @cnnmairoll @yenonnoff @phoenix-eclipses @tobiosluvr @rory-cakes @frvppe @mollyrolls @miyamoratsumuu @hyenagoated @mitskicain
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capseycartwright · 20 days ago
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tagged by @livingincolorsagain to do a 2024 fic roundup and i am v late but hope u forgive my tardiness i have been enjoying a new year rot of the highest order. anyway apparently i wrote a whole heap of fic this year and didn't realise it until i made this post.
april
every little thing the sun shows, well it’s worth it 
Buck should – he should be freaking out, right? He’d lived thirty-two years of his life without coming close to kissing another man, and it should be making him freak out that tonight, he did – but Buck felt flooded with the oddest sense of calm he’d ever experienced in his life.
He’d kissed a man.
or - after his kiss with Tommy, Buck goes to Hen.
stay close, little brother
hen and maddie share a quiet moment of pride about their little brother at the buckley-han wedding.
may
all roads lead to eddie diaz
Eddie inclined his head slightly. “He is,” he hummed in response. “But it sounds more like you’re wanting to pick a fight here than discuss our mutual appreciation for how great a person Buck is.
Tommy, at least, looked slightly embarrassed. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it before,” he admitted. “The way you feel about him.
or - eddie and tommy have a revelatory conversation about the buck of it all.
july
a sky full of stars
Christopher Diaz had always loved fireworks - the pop, and bang, and the way they would light up the sky with bright colours. His dad didn’t like fireworks though. His dad was afraid of them.
or, even in Texas, Christopher worries about his father spending the Fourth of July alone. So he texts Buck.
can't ignore the crazy visions of me in la
Margarita-drunk Buck ruminates on how beautiful Eddie Diaz is while his best friend is dancing to Chappell Roan. That's what LA pride is for, right?
- or, alternatively: Eddie spends his first pride as an out queer man in a gay club, and Buck is in love with him about it.
october
oh what a terrible honor it's been (to learn that my blessings are things you call sins)
Hey God, it's me, Eddie. I hope you don’t mind that I’m sitting in your house thinking gay thoughts.
Eddie couldn’t help but giggle to himself as he thought the words. If he couldn’t be a bit silly while having a sexuality crisis in a Catholic church – when could he? 
Christopher leaves for Texas, Eddie goes back to therapy, unearths an emotional lockbox he had been fourteen years old when he buried, and has a lot of thoughts about how Buck is sunshine incarnate. In hindsight, it probably should have been obvious he wasn't straight.
knowing damn well i haven't been touched by you
Buck’s been having a really weird year. Buck died, and he realised he was bisexual, and he got a boyfriend, and Christopher left and went to Texas after he walked in on Eddie kissing his dead mother’s doppelganger, Eddie had grown a depression mustache, and Gerrard was back at the helm of the 118 and Buck felt like he was starring in a Netflix Original about how a perfectly normal, functional, member of society was driven to commit murder.
- or, Buck's got a boyfriend, Eddie comes out and starts dating men, and Buck loses his entire mind, actually.
november
miss me, but let me go
“I have - I’ve carried this grief, for you, for so long, and I know I can’t let it all go, because a part of me is always going to grieve for you,” Eddie paused. “But I can’t feel like this forever, Shannon. I don’t think you’d want me to, either. So - I need to let some of it go. Okay? I need to - I need to be myself now. For me, and for Christopher. I want to be me.”
On November 1, Eddie builds an altar for Shannon and finds a way to let her go.
you're my sun, my moon, my guiding star
“Fine, let’s have it your way then,” Eddie slammed his phone down on the kitchen table. “You set me up a dating profile then – Hinge, Grindr, whatever you fucking want, Buck. Set me up a dating profile, and you pick which random man I need to sleep with to make it so you feel okay about wanting me.” 
in which evan buckley gets dumped, gets drunk with his best friend, realises he's in love with said best friend, and lets his abandonment issues get the best of him. because your first is never your last, right? so buck can't be eddie's first: he needs to be his last.
december
i'll be home for christmas (if only in my dreams)
It was a silly thing, Buck had started, right when Eddie first got to El Paso – we’re looking at the same sky, he’d quipped, on one of their nightly Facetime calls.
Even when they were far apart from each other, they were still able to look up at the same stars, and if they just remembered that, maybe the distance between El Paso, and Los Angeles, wouldn’t feel so cavernous. That’s what Buck had promised him.
simply having a wonderful christmastime (maybe)
Eddie's family were about to arrive for the first Christmas they were hosting in LA as as couple, and, well, Buck felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack so great it would be in the Guinness Book of World Records for the destruction it was liable to cause.
or - the buckley-diazes are hosting christmas for the first time, and buck is freaking out, a little. he has a good reason, he swears.
see the lights, hang the stockings
Eddie finds out that Buck has never ever had a Christmas stocking of his own. He's very determined to change that and share a few Diaz family traditions.
everyone has probably done this already so apologies but tagging @doeeyeseddie @thatbuddie @clusterbuck @hattalove @mellaithwen @sibylsleaves @piningbuddies @eddiebabygirldiaz @hotshotsxyz
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unknownati · 1 year ago
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iii. are you still watching?
a/n: EEEK ilygsm. im glad ppl liked the last post so much ^_^ <333 thank u!!!
u didnt hear this from me but i MAYYY be working on a lil something w ellie 😜😇🤫🤫
ngl? idk if i like this! i'm very 50/50 on it but ur the judge 🤷🏾‍♀️
warnings/tags: suggestive? like you're literally on the BRINK of fucking, still fluffy tho (you already know i can't live without it), "netflix n chill 🤓", cuddling, making out, not really tlou aligned more of a modern au, ending kinda sucks lol, guess what. NOT PROOFREAD 🔥🔥, once again not very long but still made with love 😁 🫶🏾
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it took you an abby an hour to actually pick a show to watch. it always took you two forever, and the first 10 minutes of disagreement was usually on whether it should be a show or a movie. once you got past that, then it was which one to actually watch.
horror?..not really abby's thing.
sci-fi? not feeling that.
mystery? you didn't feel like thinking.
thriller? nothing good.
you eventually just settled on 'insecure' since you'd had your eye on it for a minute (and abby didn't feel like going back and forth with you anymore).
once you made it past the hour of picking something to watch, these were your favorite nights to have with abby. she'd come over, sometimes you'd order food, and you'd whip out your comfiest blankets to bundle up in. you had this specific blanket that abby loved to use, it was not too thin but not too thick, and it was adorned with these cute little cartoon dogs. she refused to let you use it even though it was yours.
you were fully invested in this show, but the same couldn't be said for abby. she kept glancing over towards you, staring for long enough that she didn't know what was going on.
you kept making small comments about the show just to receive late 'mhm's and 'ohhh's back. it wasn't until you took a peek at abby that you realized she wasn't even looking at the screen. "are you even watching it?"
she shrugged and nodded, almost defensive. "i am! you're just..." she exhaled, the faintest grin spreading across her face. "distracting."
you blink, raising a brow but matching her expression. "how am i distracting you? i'm not even doing anything, babe."
she nudges your leg with her knee. "you're just so pretty, i can't not look at you." you roll your eyes, focusing your attention back on the screen when the intensity starts picking back up. and abby let you watch. for a couple minutes, at least.
right when it was getting good, you felt a hand at your thigh. you glance over, she's darting between your face and your thigh; testing the waters. you don't say anything, still partially trying to see what's happening. her hand moves, up, up, right to the hem of your shirt. she pushes the fabric up, and that fully captures your attention.
"whatcha doin'?" you question, watching how she moves closer to you and looks at you with the prettiest, most love-struck eyes you've ever seen.
"nothing. just keep watching," abby reaches up and turns your head back towards the tv. you try your hardest to focus, but the feeling of her hands sliding up your shirt and slowly savoring every inch of your skin was a lot. and it didn't help that she started to kiss your neck, taking her sweet time to cover you with affection.
she trails up your neck, and soon she's kissing your jaw, her hand stationed at your waist. "you're so pretty. can't keep my hands off you, just wanna touch you all the time."
"abby..." you whispered, turning to give her a proper kiss. and that was all she needed. the way your voice sounded was like music to her ears, especially the way her name rolled off of your tongue and dripped like honey. heavenly.
it doesn't take long before you're on your back with her on top of you, her hand pulling your shirt up above your chest like she'll die if it's not off of you. it's so cute, the way her brows are furrowed while she kisses you, the small noises she makes that are just enough to tell you how bad she needed you. her touches are so gentle. she treated you like the most delicate piece of glassware yet she was so desperate for you.
her lips trail down, kissing down your sternum while she looks up at you with glimmering blue-grey eyes. she makes her way down your body, stopping right above the hem of your shorts. by this point, you your hear your heart thumping in your chest even over your thick breaths. "can i?" she asked, voice breathy.
you've never nodded and muttered a 'please' like that any faster.
it wasn't until you felt your shorts slide off and be carelessly tossed to the side that you noticed your show had paused and a large box of text popped up on the screen.
'are you still watching?"
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absolutebl · 1 year ago
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Rules: List 10 of your comfort shows
tagged by @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle (thanks doll)
I rarely pass along tags but you should do this one and tag me if you do so I can see, comfort watches are my absolute FAVORITE.
This is a BL blog and I've watched most of them, so I will be picking BL. But I will only be picking BL I am rewatching for comfort right NOW.
Some of these may surprise. Ready?
My Top 10 Comfort BL's right NOW
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1 kiss x kiss x kiss - perfect scandal (short)
My favorite of this series because it's basically office romance sexy bits we all wanted from Old Fashion Cupcake.
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2 Jun & Jun
his show made up for in style what it lacked in substance. I like fluff. I loved this. I smile every moment I'm watching. This is very much MY style of BL.
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3 Love is Science (BL cut)
Mark and Ouwen gotta be one of my all time favorite side dishes. LIS? is a noona romance with added mature side couple as well as these two, mostly interwoven. It’s a big buy in just for Mark & Ouwen but WORTH IT, and some kind soul uploaded a BL cut to YT. Everything is a touch quirky but the BL boys are beautiful, earnest, and high heat. It's one of Taiwan's favorite dynamics: the bisexual himbo meets the confident gay, but they are just LOVELY, plus tiny queer family at the end.
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4 2 Moons 3
What can I say, it's utter trash but there is something about the main couple I love. A Thai pulp that felt like it came out 5 yrs ago with many of the flaws inherent to that time and studio system, including manufactured angst and convoluted plot, but an ultimately sweet main couple that (as a pairing) feels a bit more modern and is satisfying to watch. This will probably go down in history as one of the few BLs where I genuinely didn’t care about any of the side couples.
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5 Love Class 2
But only "my couple." ( the mature student and the TA). I still hold that they probably should’ve had their own series.
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6 Big Dragon
I didn't love this when it first aired but I am coming around to it more on the rewatch. (I may even up its score from 7 to 8 if the eventual movie sticks the landing). This is a pairing that proved itself to be a lot more sophisticated than I expected with nods at kink in a more respectful way than Mame could ever dream, plus excellent chemistry.
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7 Why R U? Korea
The Korean remake of Why RU? is BOTH bizarro land, and EXACTLY what I expected. There is something comforting in watching the Cliff's notes version of a show I enjoyed before just in a different BL style. I don't know why I like this one so much, but I really do.
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8 Takara & Amagi
I gnawed on my knuckles and squealed a lot with this show first time around. Now I still love it but I'm more calm. It is beyond charming: soft and gentle, packed with cuteness and high school angst, thirst, & yearning.
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9 About Youth
A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and an earnest depth.
Clearly I'm having a bit of a high school phase because I've been thinking of doing this one next:
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10 My School President
Yes, we’ve seen it all before, but I still ADORED this. And there is a lot to be said for the classics being re-executed perfectly. Who let my BL be this wholesome and funny?
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