#i feel weird not taking ppl's attendance every morning ok!!!

[gayregis]

im at that stage of fatigue from the day where i’m so tired the fanfiction is writing itself in my mind theough dialogue but i’m too insanely tired to sit down and write it all out and i work a shift in the morning too so i dont even have time ... so ill forget everything come morning

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psych, ima try to outline it rn

this is after a little sacrifice and also after season of storms and takes place in cidaris (im not clear on if kerack is the capital so season of storms dealt with the proper king of cidaris or if it was just a local kingship but im hcing that cidaris is also a capital city as well as the region/nation).

this is geralt and dandelion going to the grape festival mentioned in a little sacrifice btw

main goal for this is to basically give dandelion more depth and address his identity issues and backstory and just how his character is in general

valdo marx (as far as i am headcanoning in terms of appearance right now) is of course , also a twink and they have similar builds but valdo isnt as skinny as dandelion because he has access to three full meals every day. he has dark brown hair and green eyes, and i might give him the same hair and beard as dandelion from tw3 just to spite cdpr. he used to sport green/purple doublets as an independent artist, but now as the reaident troubadour of cidaris, he’s adopted their emblatic colors (blue and white) and wears a doublet with a sash of these colors. he doesn’t have poofy sleeves, instead he has these ruffs and like... bellbottom sleeves. also this method of embellishing clothes that i learned from a glamour video (it’s @ 4:30ish) called slashing is applicable to his outfits. i think he veers away from tights unlike dandelion, so he wears more breeches than anything. he doesn’t have detailed embroidery like dandelion, but rather patterned/quilted areas with silver and some small pearls added for decoration in these sections as well.

so geralt and valdo have to be placed together somehow in a conversation. basically he wants to #expose dandelion for being a fraud... but he’s not doing it out of Pure Evil, he’s (vaguely) kind of like the lodge of sorceresses in which it’s like, he is only wanting things to be done his way because really he thinks it’s the best way to do things. he’s really a victim of academia, he would be someone that supports the fact that instruments are like $1,000 each.

basically he and dandelion were classmates at oxenfurt and at first hit it off very well and shared notes and thoughts and sexual partners and all was splendid. but they got competitive and valdo HATES that dandelion does NOT come from a family known for music or any kind of art. basically dandelion is a novus homo, but in the world of music, and valdo comes from an established family which has been musically inclined for generations. he feels that ppl like dandelion just wanna go to oxenfurt for shits and giggles and dont take this opportunity seriously because theyre too blinded by their own arrogance to actually learn anything. and he may be right in regards to a lot of other children of wealthy noble families that attend oxenfurt. but dandelion’s case was different and this he does not like to admit. also he hates how dandelion is... inclined to... a life of debauchery... because he feels he perpetuates stereotypes of artists being good for nothing penniless drunkards and lechers, and makes it harder for Real Professionals from Actual Lineage to get a job. also he has a disdain for how dandelion really wanted to travel and admired the “musicians of the world” that never attended some fancy college, and again valdo sees this as him not appreciating the opportunity he was given, because all you ever need to interact with is this little 1 mile by 1 mile square of oxenfurt, and not even the whole city, just the college. also when valdo tells all this to geralt he goes give him a judgemental up and down look like... “julian loves meeting, writing about, and... ahem... fraternizing with... all kinds of ... people.” (he was gonna say “trash,” but geralt has swords and cats eyes, so valdo swallowed that last word). ALSO ALSO valdo thinks dandelion is further destroying the sanctity of academic places like oxenfurt by training good for nothings from other nobody families, like essi daven, who was actually from a noble family but one not too rich because it was kind of distant from the ruling family. and since she threw a fit they let her do her own thing instead of marrying her off.

also valdo is like “julian— ahem, ... ‘dandelion,’ as you know him... i don’t know why he uses that absurd little nickname,” because he just finds the idea of a pseudonym stupid (since hes from a famous musical family of course he wants to highlight his lineage). and again he dislikes how dandelion is Corrupting Others by not only mentoring essi at oxenfurt, but training her in an “unorthodox fashion,” ie they just duet and talk shit about random stuff and he advises her weird things like “get a cool fake name so all the girls have something to scream as you go on stage”

as they interact with each other, valdo and dandelion actually are kind of opposite of dandelion and essi. they dont throw ANY snide remarks and keep it all under wraps with just pleased smiles and then as soon as theyre out of earshot (a long way for bards) theyre like “i am going to take the replacement strings of my lute and choke the lights out of that tone-deaf idiot” ... geralt is like 😳 to see aggression in dandelion and hes a bit intimidated at first but then is like Bro Are you Fucking Okay ????? Because its so unnatural for dandelion to be Actually Upset about something and not be ok within half a day

scene where dandelion is staring at the mirror and geralt is like you have been staring at the mirror for a long time, even by your standards... dandelion is like “i have to change something... geralt, look at me. look at me. (says it again bc geralt didnt look up the first time). if you could change one thing about my face, what would it be?” and geralts obviously like “nothing.” and dandelions like dont be fucking difficult just tell me i need to know i need your opinion and geralt is like that IS my opinion i sincerely like your face the way it is. something something blah blah blah tenderness geralt says smth like dandelion you have a lot of loyal fans okay...... and hes trying to refer to himself but he doesnt wanna say it aloud

i think something about dandelion talking about who he was (basically referring to “julian” in the 3rd person) and just very uncharacteristically self-loathing but them he pops back into his little arrogant self ... basically he covers that everyone Fucking Laughed at him for wanting to sing but he did it and now he’s the best and also, sexy. in this whole scene (same scene as last bullet point) he is also saying that he needs to “prove himself” and geralt is just like What More Can You Do, You Are Literally Famous... but dandelion is just pensive about it

also he says something like “theres two versions of me... julian with a dream who nobody knows, and dandelion who’s famous and loved.” and geralts like “theres three.” “three?” “there’s also dandelion, the one i know, who, it doesn’t matter if he’s famous or what, because i just like him and enjoy his company.” BECAUSE i dont know how not to be blunt and not hit my readers over the head with what i wanted to get across. geralt is a blunt man however so i think its acceptable to do this

basically this fic is “dandelion can have little a OOCness for character development”

tbh its not too ooc (hopefully) bc hes not like downright depressed, hes just pensive, like he is when hes trying to think of a good title or rhymes and nothing is working. nothing is working! hes frustrated!!!

i have nooooo idea how to resolve this conflict ive introduced. i think valdo and dandelion have to sing a duet together and it is like skating on thin ice with sharks underneath . MAYBE valdo gets possessed by,, something? not a demon bc IVE HAD ENOUGH GOETIA AFTER SEASON OF STORMS but you know An Entity, and dandelion is like wow this is an improvement!! and geralts like no it isnt, now i have to exorcise this fucker

also throughout this i think that the king and queen of cidaris (maintaining that kerack isnt the capital and is just another kingship within the nation) looooveveeveveeee dandelion and his presence and are like oh dandelion you are always welcome in our court :) which also totally pisses valdo off because its like dandelion came into his work/home and fucked both of his bosses and is trying to steal their loyalty through Sexual Appeal. which. may ring true. but dandelion does stuff for fun and not for manipulation soooo valdo is a little wrong in thinking dandelion is manipulating them. and this also adds to valdos resentment of dandelion for being so promiscuous and also writing about his love affairs bc he feels it detracts from The Art...

basically this fic is also me telling academia and ppl who feel art should be limited to a certain crowd to go stuff it cause no one cares and creativity and learning is only human of anyone. also an excuse to give dandelion character depth and also an excuse to break how geralt is always the gloomy one and dandelion has to cheer him up, i think though they do have their strong personalities, relationships should ideally go both ways in terms of emotional support so it shows geralt has the capacity to support a dandelion with festering anger and personal identity problems. also a way for geralt to learn a little abt dandelions backstory without learning/spoiling the fact that hes a v*scount and actually noble and wealthy (they just refer to his family as being wealthy enough to pay for oxenfurt which is significant but not astounding)

[felidjingga]

Dear future feli / blog hello! it's been a while since i last update. exams' over and here am i having my holidays! one thing i told God this holiday is I want to dedicate this holiday to first seek Him more, read more of His words, listen to more sermons (which is so far good!!), and secondly, I want to serve more for God - in CG in ministry :). Though i have thirdly and fourthly, like work more to earn more to pay school fees, but it didnt mattered as much as i know as long as I Matt 6:33, He will take care of me! So some snippets of my photos up there! Here am i drinking my honey drink and sitting on my sofa writing this, feeling blessed because mommy made this drink for me knowing i am falling sick. Also, i got reminded that mommy has been making tea every single morning for me when i wake up, n wake up me prepared for me breakfast every single morning ... it seems like breakfast is the most important meal of the day, because it's the time i get to spend w my mom the most - over tea and bread ❤️. I wonder how many more years i have all these before I am all married and out of this home :( My home is having our transition, as my big bro moved out, my second bro who shared the same room as me then occupy my big bro room, so now..... after 23 years of living in this room, it's the first time i'm sleeping alone with no bro no maid (yes that's how long i've been sharing room), and it's weird... and i certainly don't look forward to rainy days because during the thunders, having my brother in the same room is a comfort but now... oh no :( Howeve, there is a joy of having my own room too which means 1) I can blast praise and worship songs 2) I can pray sync prayer in my own room and not have to go down or toilet to pray 3) i have my own dressing table 4) I have a nice new single bed 5) I get to decorate the room 6) I might want to have a KB corner 7) I can have display wardrobe to put all my chio girly things, and my books collection! but.... firstly, I have to rearrange my room. That's right you read it correct. A few days ago, took me 5 solid hours to clear my wardrobe and donate my old clothes away, and arrange it nicely... i still have my drawers and table to arrange which is super messy w books. Brother has yet moved his things too. So it's all messed up. Also i haven't been sleeping well recently, waking up at 4am for a while everyday. it's not like a good night sleep ... boo ya. But all in all is good - this past month i witness and brought down Elrina to altar call which is so :'), love it when i go down w member to altar call! Always so touced! Get to meet many CG members as it's holidays and EAT CHEAP FOOD hehehehehe emphasize #lifeofstudent and also attend dearest friends' graduation and milestone in life, seeing ppl on first day of work, get to play w baby M and the best part is to PLAN BABY M BDAY DECO and so so so so happy to be part of it and so blessed!!! hehe!!! 😊 even helping Weiren to rsvp makes me vvv happy! yay! Also, get to spend time w quality time w Weiren hurray and breathe fresh air after my halfway stressed period time! And get to visit my favouritest beautifulest fort canning - hahaha considering it to my matrimony place i'm serious! yay to garden weddings!!!! Ok time to sleep now. update again!

[youregonnasurvivethis]

help me

Anon writes:

i need advice. i’m in my late 20s/disabled depressed & unemployed. trying to get govt help but no luck im in this one program but they stopped calling me should I call back and bug them? I’m also considering college advisers but idk they’re my last resort i dont know where else to turn for help No other relatives care. I’m desperate and wish someone would give me a chance.. im running out of time. and I hate how my cousins family come here from overseas with 0 exp and get asked if they want to attend school or work and 3 months later they’re doing better then me in a year. my mom she’s mid 60s basically, and she wants to retire to her home country taking me with her permanently. thing is I don’t want to go and live there because why go from 1st world to 3rd world. there its no resources for disabled ppl and they’re treated like shit. also it’s hot I hate bugs no good shower gotta bathe outside no plumbing plus wifi over there its shit and how can i watch my tv shows, go on tumblr for escape.. and my Cousins there got there own lives to live so I won’t see them much. I rather stay here in usa and be homeless with food stamps then in a shack box with incoming tsunami warnings . what should I do? find a way to stay here or suck it up and leave forever somewhere unknown while being forever depressed and suicidal. plus she says ill get more freedom.. like really? when i was there for “vacay” i didnt do shit got invited to the beach couldnt go, movies nope, library nope even walking across the street nope also kids there wont stop staring at me and calling me names and saying “go backto your country you filthy american we dont want you here and i get thrown rock at :( plus feral dogs and cats with high risk of disease if i got bit which i almost did theres no good medical help and they show up late like i witnessed both from someone else. plus excuse my horrid grammar my writing skills arent proficient since its apart of my disorder. what should i do?! i got six months left to figure it out im also trying to apply for jobs even though i have no exp apply anyway all i have is name and address thanks.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Anon, it sounds like you have a lot of things on your plate! I sympathize with you in more than one way and while I’m not an expert, hopefully I can help you make sense of some things! I’m unsure of what kind of disability you have. Can you go out and do things on your own? If yes, don’t be afraid to apply to all jobs you think you’ll do ok at, even if it is flipping burgers. No job is degrading if it’s paying for the roof above your head. That’s how you start getting experience. You say you’re in your late 20s so you’ll have an advantage as far as getting a job at places like that. In fact, you might be able to move up fast BECAUSE of your age. But don’t quote me on that. You seem to be into technology too. Why not apply at Best Buy? Or Gamestop? Or Target’s electronic section (?) or something that might interest you? Having goals, as small as they are, helps you get out of bed every morning and try your hardest. Go to the mall and walk around. See if there’s a store that’s hiring and consider if you would like to work at that store. It’s tempting to go after the jobs that offer the most money but if you have no experience, it’s a waste of time. For now. You’ll get there. It also sounds like going back to that other country with your mom is absolutely not an option for you. So that’s that. If you don’t want to go back, whether it is because it’s a third world country (it sounds like it) or because of racism (also sounds like it?) or because you plain don’t like that place, you should actively try your earnest to stay here in the US. How? Well, if your mom is leaving, you’ll need a place to stay. Again, I’m not sure about your type of disability, if it’s mental or physical, or how much it stops you for doing every day things. If you can start by getting a job, a simple job that doesn’t pressure you that much but pays enough, that would suffice. Unless you get a pretty good no-experience-required job, more than likely you won’t have enough to afford your own place by yourself (Don’t feel bad about this. We all start somewhere). Roommates might be something you’ll have to look into. You talked about College Advisors. I’ll assume you’re going to college. Is there a way you can live on campus? Work at the college? Even some community colleges will try and help you out. I’d definitely reach out to College advisors. It might feel weird to open up to them but you never know. It sounds like you need all the help you can get and you’ll be surprised by what they can do. I’d also keep bugging the government regarding the help you’re requesting. But be smart and polite about it. If you do get a hold of someone, get them to tell you how long you should wait, then go back and keep bugging them until you get answers. For example, I am fighting my own battle with the government. They told me to wait until the end of this month to hear back from them. If I don’t hear from them by then, I’ll be right and early at their offices, calling, emailing them, spamming their mail, whatever it is i have to do until I’ve exhausted my resources. I know it sounds simpler than what it is and I’m sorry you’ve reached that place where it feels like there’s nowhere else to go. This might not mean a lot right now but you’re not alone; we’ve all been there. An as cliched as it sounds, once you’ve reached the bottom, there’s nowhere else to go but up. So now that you’ve set the card on the table, develop a plan. -Family won’t help? Start trying to look for help somewhere else. Don’t spend more time wasting resources here. -Government won’t reply? Keep at it until you get answers. -No experience? No problem! Choose a simple job that requires no experience and that you can enjoy. -Third world country not an option? Good, look into all options that can keep you here where you feel comfortable. This is your life! Of course this is all up in the air. But even if things don’t go your way, at least you’ve tried. And that doesn’t mean that at that moment is when you’re allowed to give up. You HAVE to keep fighting for what you want and what makes you happy. The fight will never stop but it will be worth it. Things do get better from time to time. It’s worth being around for those moments when things pay off, even if it is in ways that you don’t expect. Hang in there, anon. I really hope this helped somewhat.