#i feel so sick i love yjh so fucking much

[song-tam]

i am SO distressed right now what the fuckkkkk. i read a BUNCH of orv to pass time on a long plane ride and i think that was maybe not one of my best ideas……….. screaming sobbing punching the wall dramatically i hate this book so much

i’m right before they all group regress and Fuck. What The Fuck. i finally know what 51/49 means and can i go back to not knowing. what the fuck. and then,,,, yjh’s 0th turn???? if i continue to regress will i ever get to meet you again??????? that affecting the other world line??????????? and even before that too, with the oldest dream reveal,, FUCK. like i sort of expected it but it was still so devastating to read. and THEN. the quote that’s like “the oldest dream was the worlds most omniscient yet powerless god” or something. OW. i feel like i’ve been stabbed repeatedly. every time i type out another sentence in this ask i want to sob.

and then,,,,, his companions realizing something’s wrong. han sooyoung being the first to act on this because the kim dokja she knows best is the one that isn’t here. yoo joonghyuk choosing to regress (in both this world and the 0th turn) for that sliver of a chance that he’ll see kdj again. and the fact that kdj doesn’t consider even once that this might happen, that his companions would realize something was different. and this isn’t even something new! in all the times he sacrifices himself, he fails to truly acknowledge how much it affects the ones he cares about. he doesn’t comprehend (or is unwilling to comprehend) how much he is loved. his happily ever after doesn’t even include him, not fully — and i don’t think he believes he’s deserving of that happily ever after, either. he’s a reader. he doesn’t realize that this is his own story, too. goddddd i hate this book SO much (<- lying)

ORV ON PLANE RIDES SO REAL…….. tbh it’s such a Plane Book something abt being thousands of feet in the sky in a giant heap of metal while reading the most devastating piece of media to ever exist. what a vibe truly

WHEN I TELL YOU IWAS GAGGED AT 49/51. HONESTLY. kdj CONSTANTLY sacrificing himself to save his friends because these are the same people that have BEEN saving him since was fifteen fuck my life. god.

0TH TURN YJH IS SO INSANE the way it all comes back to those two. i literally could write paragraphs abt 0th turn they make me feral he guided him through all of it he got to see an ending where yjh got to live a long happy life and it’s what he was reading for the entire time im actually

oldest dream & kdj………….. tbh i think that must be so heartbreaking on both sides. kdj seeing his younger self and being so upset because at the end of the day it was him causing suffering for the people he loves most but oldest dream seeing his older self coming to fucking kill him and thinking that it didn’t get any better at all. he can’t even be loved by himself who else would love him then

YES HIS COMPANIONS GODDDDD the yoohankim of it all makes me SO sick actually. especially han sooyoung because hey he was supposed to be her reader. that’s what he promised her. instead she has a version of kdj that doesn’t even really read anymore and what kind of kdj is that? and yjh wanting to get kdj back because he was promised they’d see the ending TOGETHER and instead he doesn’t even have a full half of him. promises made promises broken to BOTH OF THEM fuck i’m unwell

kdj i hate you and your self sacrifice. i’m literally. exactly what you said tbh like he is loved!!!!!! and he doesn’t fucking realize it. but the thing is he would be dense to not know and that’s why 49!kdj exists in the first place bc he’s hoping that will be enough for them to just fucking sit still and live their lives. in his head he’s downplaying his importance which is why he gives them a fucking replacement

AUGHHH fine line between reader and protagonist and writer and the way all the roles are interchangeable and im. yeah. god

[randomgarbagecan]

ORV Fic Rec I

so i have read my fair share of orv fics and i’ve been thinking it’s time to share my favorites out to the world. not sure how many of these i’ll make, but i thought i’d keep it short and sweet and list out just a few of my favorites if anyone wants to give them a read.

No Pairing/Gen:

Home Invasion - misoriri

Rating: G Word Count: 3,178 Chapters: 1/1

Kim Dokja’s covers are flung back. He looks up to see Yoo Jonghyuk scowling at him, his blankets in one hand and a bag of groceries in the other. He wishes it was a thief instead.

Kim Dokja gets sick.

Notes: does not take place during the scenarios, but contains no spoilers. It’s a super cute sickfic and i loved it. i read it a few times already haha.

here it’s safe and here it’s warm - Lizhly

Rating: G Word Count: 7,446 Chapters: 1/1

It hadn’t been a big deal, Kim Dokja had thought, when he started feeling a little under the weather. It’d just been a sneeze. A cough. Maybe a bit of a runny nose. It still wasn’t a big deal when he’d gotten the fever later. These things happen. It’s not like he’s spent how-ever-many years taking care of himself and somehow never run into a cold. He’s made it work, dragged himself to work, and has done so multiple times over the course of his life. Shocker of shockers, he’s never died even once throughout this entire process. He can take care of himself.

Kim Dokja’s Company doesn’t seem to think so. Notes: post-canon/post-epilogue fic. beware of spoilers. another sickfic... ok but listen, i live for any type of hurt/comfort found family trope, although there’s not really any hurt, mainly just fluff and comfort.

conversation in a lull in the war - stuffandsundry

Rating: T Word Count: 1,175 Chapters: 1/1 The Great War of Saints and Demons is slowly getting started. Sooyoung and Joonghyuk talk, as they wait. Notes: canon compliant, spoilers up to the Great War of Saints and Demons arc (i believe ch 387?). SO good tho. i love this fic, it gives insight on yjh and hsy’s relationship and ugh, it’s a good read. pls try it

Kim Dokja/Yoo Joonghyuk

Waiting for These Eyes to Open - KatcadeCascade (DreamWings231)

Rating: G Word Count: 2,004 Chapters: 1/1 He finds himself reaching the 73rd Demon Realm with an archangel, taking ownership of an industrial complex in Kim Dokja’s name, and confronting Asmodeus.

Yoo Jonghyuk could not see himself ever doing this for anyone, mostly because no one else would get in this much trouble. But for some reason he did this all.

All to see Kim Dokja again.

And that rat bastard is sleeping.

This is all exhausting to think. Thankfully, there’s a chair nearby.

Notes: spoilers up to ch 226, canon compliant, missing scene. fuck i love this one, it’s just. hh. kdj/yjh pairing makes me go insane.

precipice - oronine

Rating: T Word Count: 4,871 Chapters: 1/1

“I want to kill them.”

Yoo Joonghyuk looks tired. His sword is drawn but unable to draw a line in the soil. In this world, he is the most powerless being. “I hate them.”

Kim Dokja is sprawled on the ground, head in his hands. There are footprints and blood all over his shirt and the ground; he wishes he could meld with the grass and never wake up. “I hate them too.”

Trapped in a scenario, Kim Dokja is forced to relive his past with an uninvited guest. Notes: please do read the tags for this one. the romantic relationship isn’t the main focus, but wow is this such a gut-wrenching read. it hurts so good.

the pros & cons of caramel - sunwarmed

Rating: G Word Count: 5,398 Chapters: 1/1 “What’s in this,” Yoo Joonghyuk demands.

“Peruvian dark roast.” Yoo Joonghyuk looks as if he’s about to commit a crime, so Dokja takes pity on him and continues, “And sugar, ice, whipped cream, cookie crumbles, caramel, hazelnut syrup, chocolate, and a little bit of almond milk. Really, I put a ton of work into making this, and you’re not even thanking me.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s eye twitches — once, twice, three times — before he takes the cup and squeezes it so hard Dokja’s a little afraid the drink will fly everywhere

.[or: 5 times kim dokja makes yoo joonghyuk (the wrong) coffee & one time yoo joonghyuk returns the favor.] Notes: coffee shop AU. holy shit this fic lives in my mind rent free. i think about it all of the time. it’s just. they are idiots and it’s so cute.

I certainly have MUCH MORE bookmarks than these saved, but i figured i’d start off with just a handful and see how it goes. if you have any fics you’d recommend OR if you have any fic rec requests, my ask box is always open ;)

[bytedykes]

1, 11 and 13!

1. whos your favourite character

REALLY hard question tbh.... i love them sooo much all of them... i am going to have to say yjh because he lives in my brain so fucking bad. he makes me feel so sick. my more niche fave character is biyoo :)

11. any character you wish we saw more of?

honestly... not that i can think of! i think im pretty happy w the amount of screentime everyone got. i didnt feel like anyone was pushed aside (some characters obviously were but it was intentional in the framework of the narrative etc etc) actually no im changing my answer i want more hsy in her first apostle era

13. if you could meet any character, which would you pick and what would you say?

id pick kim dokja and hit him over the head with a hammer JUST KIDDING um. im sooo bad at conceptualizing these kinds of questions... maybe hsy? if i tried to ask about anything orv related id get emotional and start crying on her so i would ask about her writing process :) would love to attend one of her lectures tbh

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

I JUST WOKE UP AND THEN RUSHED OVER HERE WHEN I SAW FHE TIME . ORV !!! PLEASE … THEY ARE SO ??!?!?!??!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING PPL…. WHY R YALL SO DISASTROUS…. WHY R YALL SO BISEXUAL ….. WHY R YALL SO OBSESSED W EACH OTHER….. their dynamic is so funny too idk, they’re like a comedy trio. idk how to express how funny they are, they r idiots… idiots in love but like they’re idiots… i don’t know how to explain. they are just??? they’re just silly okay. they are goofy and silly. they are idiots and fools and love each other so much.

they always seem like they’re attacking each other BUT they are just a mess it’s fine. it might just be kdj misinterpreting yjh’s actions once again bc kdj thinks he understands but at the same time he really doesn’t if that makes sense, and hsy is just too emotionally constipated in the “i don’t care about him, no not at all, yes i do hate kim dokja. why am i trying to save him? well. fuck you. you can’t question me like this” way like girl why are you so defensive abt it it’s okay you can care about someone like i’d say yjh is at least a smidge better bc he at least tries to make it clear that he DOES care abt kdj (the fool) (btw i find it funny that kdj just ends up with extremely important bonds w two emotionally constipated losers and he’s like “god these two need to confront their feelings more” as if he isn’t also as emotionally constipated just in a different way)

ARGHH i had this whole rant for yjh and kdj’s relationship but i realized it might ruin a part of the novel bc their relationship is just so integral to the story?????? just note that yjh cares so much for kdj, kdj affected and changed yjh so much. kdj loves yjh, it’s important, impersonal, he understands yjh and he doesn’t understand yjh, it’s sacred and ordinary love. if i try to explain why or how it’ll ruin part of the plot but just,, know. it is that. the barrier between protagonist and reader. (also this extends to hsy too, kdj just creates this barrier between himself and others in general and it annoys hsy and yjh SOOO much) hsy and kdj’s relationship is also important so idk how much i’ll say on that topic but like, what if lonely selfish people came together what would happen. and also i’m not actually finished with the novel so i’m not qualified to talk abt yoohan.

in conclusion: what if yoohankim was people saving each other over and over. what if they were each other’s salvation and couldn’t have survived and lived without each other. what if they were each other’s demise, the reason for this tragic cycle. what if they cared, so. so much that they would sacrifice anything and everything for each other. what if their relationship as a whole was so important to them. what if they were each other’s comfort. what if they gave the world to each other. what if. is it so wrong for them to want? is it so wrong for them to just want to hug and find such an ordinary love within each other? is it so wrong for me to want that for them? why are they so devoted to each other it makes me SICK in the head.

(sorry this is so long, it’s taken me over 2 hours to write this and it is still incomprehensible. i think orv just makes me so sick in head in general. help me. i feel like that one thing like girl help im an orv fan, we’re insane.)

girl help i never read orv and im becoming insane about them

[ot3]

Same anon as a second ago who was asking about Han suyeong and orv - or if you have any headcanons about yoohankim I think they’re neat

yesss lets talk about yoohankim

all i want for them after the epilogues is to write a book together. like kdj is already long overdue for beta-reading and yjh has been tricked into being an editor once and can be tricked into doing it again. any chance to correct these miserable shrews he lives with <333333 

but the thing is like hsy like completely wrung herself out writing ORV and now she wants to do something the complete fucking opposite she’s like guys. i’m sick the death of fucking themes and catharsis and shit. we’re writing slice of life. give me ideas what’s some stuff that people do

and yjh was like i dont fucking know what anyone does in their spare time.

and kdj is like. i also don’t know anything that people do. hope this helps.

and hsy is like god damn it. me neither. oh my god we are so bad at this. 

this is all definitely pre relationship because theyre stupid enough to rewrite time and space for each other but still try and friendzone about it. “yeah they threw themselves headfirst into the spokes of fate’s wheels and doomed countless lives in countless worlds just so all of us could meet, again and again, but, like. what if i’m reading too much into things?”

absolute incompetence. 

anyway hsy just starts working tossing in whatever sort of contrived high school hijinks she can think of and bouncing off yjh and kdj as sounding boards, reading them snippets of her drafts, and eventually they just end up just essentially co-authoring it with how much of the plot and character theyre giving her, theyre doing everything she’s doing except typing the damn thing up.

only at this point it’s really just a weird tangential larp of them all deciding what they imagine a fun childhood would have theoretically been like and not so subtly just making these characters live it out on their behalf. yjh still feels pretty weird about writing stuff that didn’t already happen for obvious reasons but hsy is like ‘stop being fucking paranoid this is so different this is made up for real’ and kdj is like ‘im abstaining from this conversation’ and yjh is like well i guess im probably safe from any cosmic comeuppance as long as this is a happy story. so it really is just like peak good feeling slice of life antics the whole way through

anyway obviously the main characters are Very Poorly Concealed Yoohankim Expys. i say poorly concealed but that’s onyl to people who arent them. yhk themselves are VERY convinced these are extremely original and compelling characters. 

it doesn’t hit until after they write some shit where hsy has to be like ‘look this is so stupid there’s no reason these people wouldn’t have gotten together yet in this situation how can we work with such a flimsy premise of miscommunicated feelings. surely they have to know theyre in love.’

and then she’s like [brain loading symbol] oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

and theyre like What stop being dramatic and just fucking tell us.

and shes like ‘ive figured it out im the sexiest and smartest woman alive. you guys are gonna love this’ 

and theyre like just fucking tell us we hate you so bad you act like this every time

and she’s like we need to kiss. ohhh i am so smart. 

and theyre like [dial up modem noises] oh god wait we are supid and embarrassing motherfuckers huh. wow. 

and then they kiss