#i feel like we could be good friends tdsfvdfomptmtg we're the same breed of A Bit Silly

[mccoys-killer-queen]

Meeting Lawrence Gowan: The Complete Saga

Okay so I still keep thinking that this happened only 2 days ago but it's been almost a week now so I figured I owe you guys a summary of what happened last Tuesday (plus this story didn't even reach its conclusion until yesterday so it's good that I waited to tell)

firstly: this was my first time outside of America and I did it solely so I could go to a Gowan show (because the Gowan material is only known in Canada so he only tours there) so I was willing to do whatever it took to get as much as I could out of this.

I had befriended a local couple while waiting in line for the show, we sat by each other during the show and I asked them if it's easy to go around back to try and meet the bands here and they were like oh yes we do it all the time here so they showed me afterwards

the show was ABSOLUTELY incredible like it was just so much fun there was so much chemistry between Gowan and the crowd and UGH everyone had a blast it's easily one of my fav concerts of all time

after the show me and this couple went around back and talked to some of the roadies and the opening act

the roadies said it would be at least 45 minutes to an hour before Gowan came out. I was willing to wait. I came all that way so I was gonna be insane and try my chances

the couple left, I remained. No one else remained.

it was COLD it was 19 degrees (-6C) but it wasn't bothering me too much

i started waiting a bit after 11 and it wasn't until exactly midnight that something happened...

people who worked at the venue came and went, everyone def saw me waiting in the alley/parking lot behind the venue (which was small btw) but no one spoke to me the whole time or caused a fuss or tried to kick me out thank god,,, i know how I looked

at about 11:57pm i looked up at the full moon and took a picture of it. I had said to myself I was gonna wait until midnight then head back to my hotel, so I was starting to feel a little low as the time drew near. I wasn't ready to head back just yet.

Less than two minutes later, the back door of the venue opened again, but someone propped it open, and several people filed out

one of them was Larry

***

immediately I took a step or two forward and just went "oh my god-!" because I genuinely could NOT believe that he was actually there- thirty seconds before that moment I was losing hope and THEN-

of course I awkwardly said hi, Larry smiled real big and said hi back, and he went "You must've had a good time, you were right up front!"

I told him that YES it was the best

He gave his bags to someone else to put in the van (or he put his stuff in the back of the van I don't remember exactly) and said he'd be a minute or something like that

"You must be freezing!!"

"I am! :D sorry, I'm crazy, but i came so far I figured I'd try anything to meet you"

he was right in front of me and had like the BIGGEST smile on his face the entire time he is so cute I still can't breathe

we're like the exact height he's shorter than I expected and while looking into his eyes right in front of me I just COULDN'T FATHOM THAT HE WAS RIGHT THERE like it was SO surreal and I was IMMEDIATELY face to face with him and it took me a moment to get a grip bc in the back of my head i was just constantly thinking "no WAY this is actually happening holy shit"

he asked me my name so I told him and he was like "nice to meet you, Rachel!" so I went "nice to meet YOU"

i also said the cold wasn't too bad for me because I'm from Pennsylvania, to which he mentioned their one manager guy is from Philly

i told him where i live in relation to Philly and he asked exactly where I'm from

i told him the exact name of the town I live in, then struggled to describe its location bc i live in bumfuck nowhere

i asked him if he's heard of this type of beer that's made close to where I live and he kinda awkwardly shook his head and I was like "that's just what I always ask people when I'm really out of town and trying to describe where I live"

he asked me how I got to Ottawa and if I drove (I did not, I flew in from NYC)

somehow I wasn't TERRIBLY AWKWARD i think I did great ngl

he must've said the words "you must be freezing" at least 3 times and i'm not even joking like him being concerned about my body temperature is a running theme in this story you can't make this shit up i swear i have photographic proof just keep reading

i couldn't stop looking into his eyes and smiling and it felt so wonderful just to look at him and it just felt so suddenly intimate overall I wonder if he felt it too, like it just felt as if it was so right, like something in the universe had finally aligned and something secret and sacred was happening or maybe i should just shut up

i don't remember the PRECISE order this convo went in like we talked about a few different things in a VERY short amount of time i stg it felt like we spoke for 5-10 minutes but it was literally like 2

did I mention he is literally so adorable

i thanked him for taking the art print at the very end of the show (you've all seen my Gowan piece) and told him it made me so happy and he was like "you did a great job!!! now did you make that?"

I was like "yes I did make it!! I also made one of Tommy and the Styx instagram page shared it and Tommy actually saw it which was really cool!!" and he looked so happy i would die for him

he said to me "I don't know how you got the- piano stand to look like that...!"

i told him that wasn't even the hardest part- that the hardest part was drawing his pants because they were so wrinkly

he thought that was really funny (I am going to get such a good grade in Gowan. Something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve)

i told him I was at the Allentown show for Styx back in August and he was like "oh really?" and I said that I was the only one in a Gowan shirt

to which he said "ahh so I definitely pointed you oot then" (yes his accent slipped through I couldn't believe it)

I told him that yes he pointed me out right at the first song and I'll never forget it (I'm such a fucking dweeb)

I said "I swear I feel like I'm the only Gowan fan in America sometimes" and he said someone at the show tonight was from California which made me go "really??"

he told me the Gowan records were never released in the US (which I did not know)

so I told him that despite that, I do have two of his albums and found them somehow, but they're stamped promo copies

I told him he should do a small Gowan tour in the US- even if it's just for two people (referencing myself and the California person) and he just kinda sheepishly rolled his eyes and was like "ohh I don't know..."

he asked me if I got a pick, so I said yes bc both he threw one at me, his brother gave me one, and his son gave me a setlist

i don't remember how the convo ended, but eventually Larry said he was gonna head onto the van, so I asked if we could get a picture quick, to which he said something like "of course we can!"

he said "let's take it over here" and led me just inside the back door of the venue that was still propped open because he was like "let's get out of the cold" or implied that or something he's just sweetest like UGH

we leaned into each other, I held up the phone, IMMEDIATELY noticed my bangs got sucked under my beanie, said "god, you can't even see my bangs-" ripped off my hat, very quickly pulled my bangs forward, then took 3 photos of us.

I thanked him for the photo, and thanked him so much for taking the time to talk to me, and he said he appreciates me coming "all this way"

it was here that I wanted to hug him SO BAD he looked so huggable in his dapper coat and scarf tucked into it, but it didn't feel appropriate at the moment to hug him, but also i think he was expecting me to hug him ? there wasn't really an opening for it to happen and I don't think shaking his hand was a better option so I didn't try either. The photo and convo and just the overall ENERGY felt so intimate already- why push it? I just kept being modest and not overstepping any boundaries (he probably knows I was too shy in the moment to hug him)

as we walked to the van together, he said "I hope you don't have far to go"

I said it's a short walk back to my hotel

he said "I hate to see a young lady like you out by yourself this late"

and I was playfully like "I'll be fine- unless you wanna walk me there" like I was SMOOTH AS BUTTER GUYS

I said this as he was getting in the van, and he just got a little bashful and chuckled "I did not bring a big enough coat!!"

he wished me safe travels, said it was nice talking to me or something, and that he'll see me on the road

I'll be hearing "safe travels, Rachel!" in the back of my head for the rest of my life

"You too! Have a great night!"

***

then I kept walking away, refusing to look back because HGGGGHHHHHH IS HE LOOKING AT ME WHILE I WALK AWAY WOULD I EVEN BE ABLE TO SEE IF HE IS????

i just kept walking up the block and turned the corner and looked to see if anyone was around and i started RUNNING AND LAUGHING AND COVERING MY MOUTH AND JUMPING I had never felt so happy in my entire life I stg it felt like Singing In the Rain but in the middle of the night in Ottawa

I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO TELL ANYONE WHAT JUST HAPPENEDNEWORFNWRONQR

i knew I couldn't tell anyone straight away- because there was one person who needed to hear from me before anyone else did-- Larry.

the second I got back to my hotel, i immediately sat in the lobby, pulled out my phone, and texted him that I got back safely. I figured I owed it to him- especially because he seemed so concerned for me, the sweetheart

i went up to my room, and holy shit.

I got changed, threw myself on my bed, and thought about how I'm gonna tell everyone that I just met Lawrence Gowan ????

I took a selfie of my "nobody knows I just met Larry" face because secret secret I've got a secret it was such a funny feeling dfoigndfogefeogvso only I knew that the most incredible thing in the world had just happened, and I wanted to hold onto that moment for just a littttle bit before I told anyone else

I sat up and opened up insta, instinctively went into my DMs, and saw "Lawrence Gowan- seen just now" and then-

this motherfucker was texting me already, half an hour after we spoke in person

I got up and stood at my window and just started sobbing (but no tears came). This was the greatest moment- the greatest feeling on earth- and I never wanted it to end. Six months ago, I didn't even know this man's name, now here I am, in a foreign country, having him text me in the middle of the night after we just met in person. If you told me six months ago that i would be in this situation with "the piano guy you saw with styx at m3", that we would have history together, that he would quickly mean so much to me, i would've been like "holy SHIT ? ?? what HAPPENED??"

I checked his message-

this motherfucker really is concerned about me getting warm, huh

I sent him a quick "back at ya!" and that was that.

I quickly got some photos edited the next morning and posted them to my story (he shared them!) and shared the photo of us together (which he liked and sent his dumb little avatar in reply to as always gkjnfdogwnergw)

i had this sinking feeling that i needed to tell him more- have him understand better just how much joy our little interaction sparked. I decided to text him again the morning I went back to the States (something a wee bit lengthy and thought out) letting him know that as my first foreign trip came to an end, he made me feel so welcome in a place where I had not a single person who knew me or was glad to see me (except for him!) I told him a bunch of things, most importantly that he should know how much he's loved in America (at least by me)

days went by and he never opened these messages- until yesterday.

this motherfucker REALLY WANTS ME TO STAY WARM HUH

anyway this is the single most sweetest text i've ever gotten i want it framed on my wall tattooed on my face woven into my DNA etc and this man is the only true gentleman i've ever met

moral of the story is i would die for this old man but what else is new also i spent $600 this morning on a Styx ticket so I can be close to Him again at the end of July goodnight <3