#i feel like some people in the tmi fandom really need to read this lmao

[space-blue]

🤍🍭🤲

🤍what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

I don't have a fic I feel people didn't get. I've had comments that completely missed the mark on what I was doing, the characterisation I was going for, etc. But it's rare. It happens most often on my biggest fic, Fathers and Daughters. I don't think there's an issue with either the fic or the readers. It's simply that when you have a story with 130k hits, you're bound to get a few commenters who either don't gel with your style or truly don't 'get' it.

Interestingly the most blatant case of 'not getting it' always happened with people who were completely new to fandom and didn't understand the concept of AUs. I've had people argue with me with stuff that was so fucking dumb like 'Silco would never swear'.

My friend, they're trying to stick to a rating and they already have a child swearing once. Do you really want to argue with me in my comments about the crimelord from the undercity saying 'fucking' once? (yes, they did)

🍭why did you start writing?

Oh shit, you sure picked a funny one. Buckle up for some TMI.

I was on a working holiday visa to Australia, fairly depressed from having had to leave NZ against my better wishes, and I had to do some 'remote' work in order to earn the right for an extansion to my visa. I picked the wrong person. A batshit crazy lady in Grafton in horse training for races. She basically ran us (she had two people at the same time) like slaves. I was doing WAY more work than I should, entirely unpaid, and getting manipulated and gaslit into doing extra work as a photographer.

It was swelteringly hot. Most days I worked in a bikini and shorts, ankle deep in mud when it was raining, and the rain was basically good enough to be a shower. My own showers were often via garden hose. So many flies. You can see me here in front of the 'feed shed' prepping the wet meal.

As soon as you locked the doors to that container it'd be SWARMING with roaches. I was expected to go in there and spray every night. They'd fly everywhere… I was also supposed to lift the feed bags and sic the dogs on mice nest under them. And carry the 50kg bags on my back from the truck. And much the truck. And go everywhere with her. And babysit the awful kids. And spray for spiders. Killed so many redbacks, not even funny. Their dogs had a litter and we had problems (due to not feeding the bitch enough) that resulted in a ton of bacrking right outside of my flimsy little window. I would do all the physical labour and proceed to be totally unable to sleep.

It drove me to the brink of sanity. Like genuinely losing my shit. I grabbed a series and started reading the Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Highly repetitive Vampire smut. I think I read up to book 6 in a week? I can't express how mentally unwell I was lol

Oh, and I couldn't get away because I had like 50$ in my bank account.

So yeah, I spiralled and started writing, like stuff was swirling in my head and putting it down was a lifeline. I still have it… a 40 pages manuscript on shitty paper written in pencil about immortal being that live off of life-force and struggle to live alongside humans in a post apocalyptic world. It had ghouls and roof gardens. lmao.

Anyway, I eventually left (in crazy circumstances) to another horse trainer in Orange (haha).

There I lived on a mattress on the floor at the end of stables, making food on a camping stove. Ruined my mental health even more by reading The Collector by John Fowles. It was so bad, I tried to read The Exorcist as a Palate Cleanser.

I was mucking stables all day, listening to Benedict Cumberbatch reading Metamorphosis on repeat, buffing my already pretty OP shoulders… Here I am atop an enormous pile of horse shit.

So at that stage writing to myself just wasn't cutting it. Talking to horses wasn't fulfilling my basic human needs for social interactions… So I joined an oline scifi and fantasy forum. Someone suggested I join their monthly writing competition, where you were given a topic and had 1.5k words to write about it. I wrote my first one in a feverish haze that day. Then we voted on the best story, and gave each other concrit.

It was my first sserious Writer Serotonin injection. I've never looked back. I went back to civilisation (Melbourne), got a decent job, a shit room (typical East Coast gig), and I carried on writing monthly for… 7 years! Whenever I was in a bad spot it was a real life saver.

I think it's a lot to do with preventing negative thoughts from spiraling. I'm not looking at how shit MY life is, but instead this little witch is in supernatural beings jail and she has to lick the fucking walls to make a potion in that special hidden organ of her and the last ingredient is the blood of her favourite warden and---

You feel me? It's a great way to help regulate my own moods and feelings and explore ideas. I'll stop before I feel like I' m reinventing the wheel.

TL;DR : I started writing because my sanity was crumbling and my life depended on it.

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?

I think I've made my point there. Once I have a good story in mind, it practicaly begs to be written. But sometimes characters, original or not, are some of the best company you have in difficult times. And then people tell you how your story touched them and they're grateful to you, for playing with your little dolls? It's an insane thing. A communion with strangers, over something that comes right from your soggy little frog brain?

Fantastic!

[cookinguptales]

just thinkin...

that last comic has me thinkin about what I was like when I was thirteen and all the ways I was a fucking disaster. lmao

and honestly, I was a disaster when I got older, too. oh no.

(cut for length and because it's personal and because a few parts are a little tmi)

I grew up in an environment that was very religious, and no one talked about gay people around the children. I think the first time anyone even mentioned the existence of them around me was when I was in third grade and -- I'm not sure what the impetus was, actually, but our teacher talked to us about kids with same-sex parents. This was the same year Columbine happened, and I remember it being treated with pretty much the same level of seriousness.

(From what I remember, our teacher basically told us not to bully kids with gay parents because it wasn't their fault their parents were gay, but also -- wasn't it selfish, really, for those parents to force their children to get bullied? Wasn't it selfish to take away their children's ability to have a mother and a father? So basically it was better than a child being parentless, but not by much.)

But that was just a vague idea of gays as parents. To my knowledge, I had never actually met a gay person. I wasn't allowed to watch shows or read books that had gay people in them. (I didn't see my first rated-R movie until college!) I had only the vaguest idea of what being gay actually entailed.

It wasn't until... god, probably middle school that I actually figured that part out? We didn't learn about being gay when we had sex ed (that was literally just how tampons and babies work) but I heard whispers about it in the hallways. Usually in the form of insults.

And then I moved to a new state and a new school because we were homeless and a friend of my mother's in Florida was letting us couchsurf for a little while. I made some new friends who let me hang out at their house because I didn't really have a home to speak of. One of them was into fandom. She showed me slash fandom and yaoi manga and I was not impressed at first. I had a primal revulsion to it that I understand now was a fear of sex in general. Back then, being gay was understood to be primarily about sex, so gay romance in fiction seemed to me to be a sexualization in ways I wasn't yet ready for.

(See: a lot of but why are you ruining their relationship with sex?)

I warmed to it pretty quickly, though, for reasons it took me a little while to figure out. I developed an enormous crush on a mutual friend, which... helped me figure it out a little faster. I think I needed to see a depiction of gay relationships before I could conceptualize them as an option for myself. Not a good option, necessarily, but an option nevertheless.

I was... awkward. My friend and I kind of engaged in a little bit of gay chicken that ended in me realizing I was gay and her realizing she was straight and uncomfortable with our awkward almost-flirting. I remember crying a lot, not because I was upset that she didn't return my feelings but because I'd made her uncomfortable. It was the first time I felt like a predator for having a crush on a girl, but it wouldn't be the last.

We got past it and became good friends. I was so, so in love with her. But I think... it was a defense mechanism, probably. I was comfortably in love with a person who I never expected to love me back, and I could say the reason for that was that she was straight. It was a way for me to avoid ever being genuinely rejected, I think, for me rather than my reproductive organs, but also a way to avoid thinking about dating too seriously.

See, if I had a reason why I could never reasonably expect her to love me back, I didn't have to interrogate why I subconsciously believed that no one would ever love me back.

(It was a cocktail of religious damage, internalized homophobia, self-esteem issues, and very, very, very deep revulsion surrounding my body and my disability. I'm still working on that part, but the days are hard!)

Anyway, when I was first trying to figure out my sexuality, I decided that I was pan. Now, I don't want to bag on anyone who IDs as pan, but it was a very unhealthy thing for me personally. For me, the "hearts not parts" and "I don't see gender/sex, I just fall in love" was a way to desexualize myself. It wasn't about yucky sex! It wasn't about being gay! I just fell for people in a pure way! I just cared about their souls!

And if all the souls just happened to reside in women, that was just a coincidence!

(Friends, I was gay as all hell.)

Then for a while I IDed as bi, and I don't think that I wasn't, necessarily. I did get crushes on a few boys that I literally never talked to, and I thought about sex with male celebrities sometimes. I don't want to discredit any of that. But I never once fell for a guy and -- well, I won't get into anything TMI, but let's just say that there are a lot of physical reasons why PIV sex wouldn't be fun for me. My body is fucked up in a beautiful myriad of ways. :')

Plus, just... honestly, I had a lot of bad experiences with male friends as well as guys who wanted to date. In the end, I realized that I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop -- and who can build a relationship like that? So I just gave up on even trying with men, tbh. It didn't seem worth it, especially because at that point I could admit to myself that I preferred women and the occasional nb person anyway.

I just go by queer these days. It's easier than trying to parse through it all. lmao.

But... I mean, even when I figured out that I was like queer queer and wanted to date and have sex with and be with a woman forever, I still had a lot of internalized homophobia. I was considered annoyingly woke where I came from because I believed that gay people weren't, like, innately awful, but I still bought into ideas about how gay relationships were second-class, how we couldn't expect to get married, etc.

When I went to college, a lot of that changed. I was finally able to study a lot of subjects that had been forbidden to me as a kid, and it really opened up my mind and how I thought about religion, politics, sexuality, etc. (And I'm so sorry for everyone who had to know me as a teenager.) And that's when I started to become so politically liberal that... uhhh there were a lot of screaming matches between me and my family when I'd come home for breaks. We're good now, but there was a time when we... were not...

So... okay. I'm coming up on twenty years old, I am politically active, I know I am queer of some variety, I know I believe women should be able to marry women. But that was -- honestly, I think even then, that was a thing I thought of being a right I was fighting for for the sake of fellow queer people. Not me.

I was still comfortably in love with one of my best friends, still comfortably believing that no one would ever love me, still comfortably believing that my body precluded me from a sexual relationship with... anyone, really.

I ended up having a very messy breakup with my core friends group. The friend I was in love with told me that my illnesses made me difficult to plan around. That I always made everything so "complicated".

I am not always an easy person to get along with, and I understand that. My disability intensifies that. There's this idea in our culture that a disabled person can be loved, on rare occasion, if their personality and/or ability is just so fucking incredible that their very patient lover can look past their decrepit body.

I'm kind of a bitch sometimes, though, so the idea of anyone looking past the fact that I can't even shower without passing out sometimes seemed kind of hard to swallow.

But ohhhhhh if being called "complicated" and difficult right after our plans had been fucked up because I was at the doctor.... if that didn't fuck me right up.

In the end, it was probably for the best. Like I said, I was using my crush on her as a defense mechanism, and I recognize now how that friends group was making a lot of my insecurities worse -- and playing into my ideas that I could never expect people to love me while I was sick.

They didn't, after all.

So that forced me to grow some. I'm literally in my midtwenties by this point, mind. Never even considered dating at all. It was getting kind of dire. At this point it had become kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I wasn't putting myself out there, so no one wanted me, so I thought there was no point in putting myself out there, etc.

(Note: I am actually fairly sure a couple people were interested in this period, but I was so convinced that I was unlovable (and unfuckable) that I didn't even notice! Alas.)

Um... I guess reading theory by disability rights activists ended up helping in the long run. Making new friends that didn't ditch me when I was too sick to go to the movies helped, too. (The first time I had to cancel dinner plans with a friend and instead of getting annoyed and going without me like I was expecting, she asked me if I wanted her to bring soup -- I cried!) Slowly learning to demand space for myself in a world that wasn't going to offer it up on its own. That all helped.

I stopped letting my school gaslight me so much. That helped. (That's... a whole other rabbit hole.) I started getting therapy for the fact that I was constantly covered in bruises as a child. The excuse that I "bruised easy" was true! That ended up being a hallmark of one of my many illnesses. But the fact that I had a family member who was beating the living shit out of me, often with objects, sure didn't help. And there were... other things, too. These days, I have to be kind to myself and admit there might be some reasons I always had a hard time trusting people. But also that that wariness, though it protected me at the time, has outlived its usefulness now.

I don't know. As I grow older, I feel like I'm constantly peeling away layers of an onion. Figuring out the traumas that shaped me and trying to work through them, grow past them. But under it all, I'm still just an onion, y'know? It's hard to tell myself that, well, some people like onions.

I'm still not particularly good at dating, but I do try. These days it's less believing that I'm not deserving of love and more just... generic... fuck, dating apps suck kind of bullshit. I'll admit it's still hard for me not to kind of "talk myself down" when I like a girl. Oh, don't come on too strong, don't assume she might like you back, don't make her uncomfortable, don't ruin a good thing with being dumb, why would she like you anyway, etc.

At this point, even if a girl doesn't like me back -- I'm not gonna get mad at myself for having hope, and I'm not going to force myself to talk shit about myself. No more of this "don't expect her to like you" nonsense, because like. Parts of me are pretty okay, maybe.

(Holy shit, though, dating apps suck so bad. And even if you actually make it through to a date, first dates also suck so bad! Why is dating so hard? lmao)

Anyway, I try not to project too many of my own issues onto fandom (that way lies madness and, worse, badfic) but I have to admit there are times when I look at Guillermo de la Cruz and sigh because. Bro, I feel you. I am also in my early 30s and just starting to navigate a dating scene that I didn't feel entitled to as a teenager and young adult. We have different damage, but I recognize a few too many of my own issues in him. And I get how hard it is to approach these things late.

But, y'know, I may not be learning that I'm a badass vampire slayer or whatever, but your thirties are... easier, I think. I feel the tangles inside me starting to ease a little bit. It's a little easier to look at the parts of me that are good and imagine someone admiring them. The things that seemed important when I was younger feel less important now. I feel like now I am able to prize kindness and patience in myself as well as others, and that felt like a thing that I could only admire in my friends when I was younger.

So... I don't know. There isn't a point to all this, really. This isn't a fanfic or a comic and I don't have a nice kiss to put at the end to tie things up in a bow. I'm still kind of a disaster. But I kind of miss being able to get my thoughts out on a digital page in a deeply self-indulgent way, so why not?

[divinefireangel]

Hey there!!! Can you please write a smut on SF9 finding out their partner reading smuts 🥺🌝 (I want to see how dirty they can go🌝) And if you don't want to write for all of them then maybe you can just do it for any member you're comfortable to write on. Literally, ANY MEMBER WOULD WORK. I really want to read something like this haha🤭

Also, I genuinely love your writings! I'm new to Tumblr but I'm literally binge reading your posts. Gosh you're talented as fuck😫💗✨

Lots of love, and thank youuuu💕

OMG YES YES YES YES

TMI: Not gonna lie, I was thinking about this when my mom came into my room to talk to me, and my recent story was literally right there just open and I was panicking. Although she doesn't know anything 💀. She's cute like that, my mom.

You are so sweet anon 🥺🥺. Go on make me cry with your lovely words 😭. I will try my best to write more and sorry this took so long 💞💖 LOVE YOU 💓

S/O reads Smuts 🤭

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: 18+ ages and all readers (nothing specified with respect to gender, appearance, etc of reader). Rough sex (YB). Thigh riding (IS). Dick riding (JY). Marking. Biting. Humping. Dining table sex (DW). Low key strength kink? Idk (RW). Biting using teeth (ZH). Exhibitionism. Terrace sex (TY). Slight voyeurism. Oral - reader receiving (HY). Somehow I end up writing the filthiest things for Hwi. Cockwarming to sex (CH). It's really difficult to think of 9 different things for 9 different people😤. Also some may be unprotected sex, don't do it unless you want kids. Lmk if I need to add more!

Word Count: HAH jokes 😂

All members under the cut!

Youngbin

Doesn't understand at first 💀

But he isn't scared to ask so he'll just ask you

The panic on your face makes him panic

Apologizes 🥺

Then you explain that it's no big deal and that it's just a story

But he saw his name 💀💀💀

So he's curious and so he does research aka Googles it

Has a mixed reaction, doesn't know what to think

On one hand, he's flattered...?

Like, oh sweet, you are reading a story about him probably railing you to death

On the other hand, why are you reading it?

Did he not satisfy you enough? Should he do more? He wants to

So he will pick a random one, read it and be like, Okay. This is how it's gonna play tonight

So determined 🥺

Picks you up for your date and stuff

Timeskip to the bedroom by a steamed dumpling Dawon

So touchy and observant

Tries his best to remember what was in the story

Forgets but that's okay tho cause now he knows what you want

More Dom than usual

More vocal than usual

His grip on your skin leaves so many bruises and literal fingerprint shaped marks

Bites your neck a lot

Doesn't hold back one bit

Secretly satisfies his wishes too

Teases you for being so ready

Teases you for every reaction

Pulls your hair

Overstimulates you

Until you're tired and can't take it anymore

He could go for a round more

So he does

It's also like, he's lowkey angry at himself cause you were reading smut which made him think, maybe you thought he was too vanilla

But after you've both cooled down you ask him what happened and why he was so rough, not that you had a problem

Expresses his concerns and you tell him that you read those only cause you wanted to know what the fandom thinks of him and the way they think he likes to have sex

Blushy babyyyy

So cute 🥺

Inseong

Bro

Do I even need to 😂

He's probably written a few 💀

He seems like he's into roleplay 👀

So when he does find a tab open on your phone about literal PORN, in words

He doesn't think much of it tbh

But is curious

He'll tease you like you are both high schoolers

Holds you phone up high so you can't reach it

Satisfied when you whine and pout

Tucks your phone in his back pocket and grabs your face

" I think it's hot "

Peck's your lips and slaps your butt leaving you wide eyed

You need a minute to process what just happened lol

Running after him you pull him down on the couch, sitting on hids lap

Bite you lip and grab his face pls

Now he's wide eyed 😂

Kiss his neck and talk to him sexily

" Do you really like that I read smut? "

You look so innocent he would cum right there

Poor man is dumbfolded

So much that he doesn't even realize you were grinding down on his thigh the whole while

Grabbing your hips he nudges your hips to continue their movement

Loves having you so close

Especially after discovering your secret

Suck him off after and he'll do any and everything for you 😉

Jaeyoon

Oo this one is fun

He won't confront you immediately

He'll just think about it a lot

" How are they so cute when they read such things for fun? "

Stares at you from across the room

Smirks at your cute smiles

Timeskip this time by Baek Huru

Surprises you by kissing your neck

Humps your butt

Pecks you neck

Rolls your nipples in his fingers

Moans in your ear, deeply and hoarsely

Pulls away dragging you to the bed

Sits near the headboard

Beckons you to come closer and naked 👀

Forces your dick in you, slowly tho, don't worry

Doesn't give you a lot of time to react

But, all this seems familiar

Then you realize that he's trying to recreate the imagine you were reading before

The whole idea made you hot

Istg you've never finished so soon

He tells you that you don't need to read those stories when you have the real deal right there

Sanghyuk

Smug bastard

He's happy that you're thinking and reading about him even when he isn't with you

He will actually read the warnings and is mildly surprised lol

Wow you really into all that?

He has no shame so he will ask you directly

You stop doing what you're doing and just slowly turn towards him

He's scared lmao

Then explains himself and says sorry

Tbh, you're more shocked that he isn't angry

Blinking you slowly make him sit on the dining table chair

Pacing you start to think of and explanation now

Is there any explanation for reading smut? Idk 😂

Honestly, he asked you so that you could actually do what the warnings said in real life

Gets up, takes your hand pulling you close and lifts you, making you sit on the dining table

Removes his shirt before kissing you intensely

Tells you that he wants to fuck you on the table like in the smut

Nodding you let him take over

Makes you cum twice easily

It's more romantic than rough

Passionate, very passionate

Kisses you a lot

Hands on you all over you

Pulls you closer and closer by your thighs

Lays you down and fucks you till your back is no where on the table

Sweet reassuring smooches when you're done

Tells you to talk to him about such ideas rather than just reading them

Seokwoo

He is shocked™

Listen okay

He's tall

He's scared that he'll hurt you if he does what he wants without thinking

Reads multiple smuts 💀

Only the ones you've liked so far tho

Fuckin uses your account so yeah obviously

Now he'll be ready to talk to you about it

So shy omg

Stutters words out cause he's so flustered

You need to read his mind, literally

Once, somehow you are finally clear about what he was talking about

You'd just laugh at his cuteness

Boy is confused ??

Pushing him down on the bed you climb on top of him

Yes climb

Needy but still shy and shocked

Wastes no time in getting naked

Allows you to do whatever you want to him

No, really

Let's you take charge that is only until you tease him

Flips you and thrusts into you so hard the bed is shaking and you feel like it might break

Strong grips on your thighs and hips and belly and arms

Definitely sore for a few many days 💀

Juho

I'm not sure tbh

Either he won't care at all like

" Oh yeah this is just their thing "

Or he'd be so into it like hed wonder why you were reading it, was it for ideas?

He already has those so you don't need them from someone else

He won't ask you about it tho

But you will bring up an idea that was in one of them

And he's down

Or up, whichever you want

Asks you what you want more times than usual

But it doesn't make sense cause you're literally going crazy with the way his cock feels inside you and he asks you what you want?

Starts moving before you answer

Asks you again and again till all you can say out loud is " More "

He's fine with that answer

Hands above your head

Teeth scraping your the front of your throat drawing so many sounds from you

He's driving his dick in you so fast that you're moving away from him

Praises you with his deep ass voice

Gives you his Vampire stare™

That's all you need to cum undone

Keeps it a secret, won't ask you unless you bring up your little extracurricular activity 😌

Yoo Taeyang

SHY BABYYYYY

So pink when he realizes what you're reading lol

But he's so mesmerised that he goes on reading it 😂

You catch him looking at your phone, no big deal

But he's looking at it as though he saw a ghost

He's turned on but at the same time he's appalled

Do people see him like that? Do you want him to be that?

He's gonna need a lot of time to process the information

When you reassure him that he doesn't need to change anything at all, he's more calm then

But on a fine ass blue moon, his fine ass is gonna decide that he's gonna try something new

So there you are, on the terrace talking to someone on the phone. After ending the call he'll come and hug you from behind

It's all aww so cute till you feel his dick press into your butt

Forces your head back to rest on hius shoulder slowly but hotly

Unbuttons your jeans and pulls them down in one swift motion and his hands are all over you

Somehow the idea of having sex in the open night sky is so exciting

Stops just before you reach your high so that he can fuck you

You're leaning on the terrace wall

Face pressed slightly on it as your butt sticks out for him

Giving him permission to do anything to you

The orgasm hits you so fast but it's so fulfilling 🤤

And your pants are being pulled up even faster 💀

Maybe you should leave smut laying around

Youngkyun

You've found the saucuest lil smut about your boyfriend

He's sitting at the table, on his laptop composing and writing songs while you are here on the bed, blanket over your legs

Now see, you aren't really one to get off of smut but this particular one was so realistic

The description

The reaction

The dialogues

Reading it made you body move on instinct

Lower lip getting stck in your teeth

Hand travelling down to your privates

Your hips thrusting forward into your hand and fingers

Your breathy moans, that you tried your best to stick to, were louyd enough for him to hear

At first he thought you were doing a breathing practice or something

That is until he recognized the pattern

Lifting his blank phone up, he moved it to look at you through it

Boy is so shocked

It's like his own private porn show

Placing it back on the table gently, he moves the blanket slowly, getting under it

Licking his lips, he tucks his tongue out, licking the area that your fingers just slid over

Gasping at the sudden feeling you drop your phone and move your blanket off

You inevitably moan at the sinful sight below you

Your lovely boyfriend, looking up at you through his lashes, tongue coated with his saliva and your leaking juices

Holding your wrist, he nudges you to continue what you were doing, with his tongue never leaving you

Gripping your thighs, he bites your inner thigh as you work yourself closer to your high

After you cum, he'll lick off all your juices

Then he'll be all sweet asking you what you were reading

Round 2? 😉

Chanhee

He'll find it funny 💀

Why do people write these things

Why do people read these things

What is the use?

He is partly curious lol

When you tell him it stimulates the necessary regions, boy is shook

Then he's like nah

So you make him read one

He can't even make it halfway through lol

The foreplay itself made him hard enough to want you and to want to be in you

Grabs the phone and sits next to you

" I'm hard "

You look at him like boy what

Then he tell you that he now understood why people read them and that he's happy that people read them too help themselves

And you're like okay and what's the point

Pulls you on his lap

Whines at the feeling of to your butt on his arousal

Makes you stand now lol

Pulls his pants to his thighs and even yours

Places himself in you so that now when you sit on his lap again, not only is your back to his chest

Also his dick is in you

Somehow finishes the rest of the fic and just thrusts up into you

Cause you feel so heavently around him

Goes on and on and on till you're bouncing on his lap

Cums in you and just stays there till you finish your work

Still has mixed feeling now tho

Cause if reads them he wants you to be there near him and he wants to read more cause these fics are very addicting

[zet-sway]

@the-wip-project day 57 (yes I am a day behind whoops)

Block 20 minutes to write and then tell us what you wrote about.

Surprise! I wrote smut! Even bigger surprise: I'm going to drop a readmore and talk about smutty and TMI topics. Because doing that 7 other times hasn't been enough for me, apparently.

Today's ramble is about visual vs mental stimulation during physical intimacy. Kinda. I'm more rambly than usual today actually so it's all over the place. NSFT and TMI ahead.

I've noticed something: When I'm writing from a woman's POV, I tend to "retreat" into the mind of my character and my descriptions stop including visuals. They're reduced to feelings and sounds only.

This is probably because I have sex with my eyes closed.

I don't even think I do it intentionally. Lights on, or lights off, doesn't matter. I have a lot of trouble with not being distracted by my partner. I have to be deep into my own mind to get off. Visuals are distracting. I'm less attracted to appearances and more attracted to actions, voices, attitudes. Don't get me wrong I think people are hot like everyone else - most of this is my own insecurity.

Anyway I've been reading other fanfiction with a more critical eye recently to try and identify areas where my writing is weak. My visual descriptions are weak. But what's even more interesting is how they're less weak when I'm writing from the POV of a man.

I kind of don't know what to do about this. In my 20 minutes I worked on a fic where my two muses are getting frisky under a sunrise. I'm writing her POV, and I'm consciously trying to work in more visuals. But this fic is tricky because for one, he's hitting it from the back, so she can't see him. And secondly, her eyes are closed and she does not want to open them. Yeah I could change the scene but I really don't want to. My characters don't want to either lol

Always, when I'm building to the moment of climax, my writing becomes very abstract. It's difficult, actually, when all you want to write is smut. There's so much sameness to it. How many different ways can I really come up with to describe an orgasm? Actually I've surprised myself a lot in that regard. But often I'll write an interlude, and then I'll get stuck when it comes to the physical contact. I'm so worried it's all the same, even though I know it isn't.

It's interesting how much of my own physical expereiences shape my fics. And it's even more interesting that I've had a welcoming reception in my fandom. That's immensely validating but every time someone says something nice about my fics, I feel like I have to raise the bar.

If I sound super distracted right now, it's because I am. I'm definitely rambling - in fact I've attempted to answer today's question two other times today and got distracted or pulled away halfway through without saving my draft lfjsdlfs

I'm going on a convention trip in a week and I'm really hoping it will be some much needed deflation time for me, because holy shit being an adult is so hard. Finishing this fic is hard too. And apparently Thane Krios is also hard :)))))))))))))))

i'll see myself out lmao

[bisexualhobi]

as much as you love hobi you don't actually have attraction for him do you? sorry to ask if it's rude but you give off this vibe like you actually know there is no need to project self insert fantasies onto your fave which tbh is so refreshing lol, maybe because we're older but I get tired of the "he's my boyfriend/we're getting married" nonsense. fans under 18 I completely understand lmfao but some of the people I follow only know how to talk about their bias as if it's their rl crush

ahh well i would say you’re correct with that assumption, i do not actually have romantic feelings towards any bts member and i’m sure a lot of older fans can relate. but as you said, for the main demographic which is composed of teen girls it’s completely normal to have fantasies over the boys, the whole boyfriend material etc stuff is so popular precisely bc kpop (and any musician with a teenage girl demographic, tbh) is designed to serve as an ideal model of a boyfriend. tbh i don’t think you can be a stan that experiences attraction towards men and not experience some sort of crush on bts. in my case i have been through this already in my teens so i know it’s not unusual to feel that way abt the people who bring you comfort and make you happy, but not even with hoseok i could say i’ve actually crushed on him. he’s just a really big emotional and mental support to me kdjfkdjgkh specially since i’m going through a lot of hardships. 

on a sidenote, that’s why i enjoy being very active and meet armys who are lgbt/don’t experience attraction towards men because we can talk abt the platonic love we feel for them. that’s not to say that i don’t make friends w people who do or think i’m better than them AT ALL, it’s just refreshing to be able to talk abt my devotion without saying stuff like “i wanna kiss him/he’s my husband/he makes me horny”. tmi he only member who makes me horny sometimes is tae jfjkgjkhh and that’s just depending on my mental state. aside from that i don’t engage in sexual/romantic fantasies w them, that’s part of the reason i don’t read self-insert fics actually. but anyone who does is valid!! it’s okay! they’re marketed that way, it’s the norm. why do you think they don’t fucking date? it’s all designed that way to purposefully make them seem available. and yes, the majority of army stans for the music and not for the looks but there’s always a part of every fandom who’s in it bc they are infatuated with a member. when you’re a teenage girl and you haven’t had much experience with boys/have never been in love the safest and most logical way to explore your attraction towards men is by projecting on a celebrity. my 13 y/o cousin is absolutely obsessed with a youtuber i can’t remember the name lmao, and you know what, when i was 14 i was infatuated with chris evans lmao, that was fun. i also went through it w 1d at some point but that didn’t last much. 

[dazais-guardian-angel]

I’m sorry this blog has been so dead-feeling and sporadic for a while now. Not that anyone probably cares, but if any of my followers somehow still enjoy following me, I’m sorry to you all. (tmi health issues below)

I haven’t “updated” in a long while, mostly because I don’t feel like I’m on the verge of dying anymore, like I did all throughout 2017 to maybe halfway through 2018; my health has been pretty stable for a while now. But it’s almost like once my thoughts didn’t have to be preoccupied with constant terror and depression of the worst kind 24/7, now it’s made room for other things to take hold of me. I don’t have panic attacks anymore (at least that I know of; I definitely had one the other night, though), but I have mental anxiety more than ever about really random and ridiculous things, and intrusive thoughts. I’ve gotten a lot of writing done but at the same time feel more unproductive than ever; I’ve always had bad executive dysfunction, but for the last couple months it’s felt worse. I’ve nearly dropped off of drawing entirely; I wish I did it more, but I’ll never be good enough and it’ll never get enough attention to feel like it’s worth the exhaustion it takes. And I probably have actual depression, if I didn’t before then I probably definitely do now; I’ve started to be able to tell the difference in my moods between days, where I feel really invigorated and into something and wanting to do something, and when I feel really down and can’t bring myself to do anything I mean even more than usual lol and feel like I want to cry sometimes for no reason.

I don’t feel as passionate about stuff anymore, which is probably a BIG WARNING SIGN cause I’ve heard other people say this, but yeah. I’m constantly feeling like I should go “give myself a break from writing”, so I just end up playing small, shorty video games that don’t hold my attention very well, instead of working on my backlog of big games that I know are gonna keep me busy for a while each once I start them... otherwise I just stay at my computer thinking that surely I’ll feel like writing something else soon, because I know deep down I want to work on filling my remaining ideas, and I know I can because I have been steadily uploading the last few months, but then I’ll just end up sitting here doing nothing in the end. Or if I get lucky, write. But it just feels like literally everything I do is happening at a snail’s pace now, for no reason. Getting through anime episodes now is tedious, at least for seasonal anime that I’m just trying out and not stuff I already know I’ll love. Keeping up with manga is hard too, I’m so behind on so many series, except for MHA because the chapters are short and weekly instead of monthly, which somehow helps. I like to read at night before sleeping, but I usually fall asleep so quickly after laying down, it’s frustrating. And none of this should matter because no one cares but me but I can’t stand it, especially when my anxiety is constantly making me worried about how long my lifespan is gonna be and that I need to hurry up and do shit quicker. :))))))

All of those mental health diagnoses are just speculation though, since I haven’t been officially looked at by anyone, cause we don’t know where to find anyone. Maybe adhd meds would help me, but who knows when I’ll be able to try any if I do, because I’m already taking so many physical health meds that my parents are always wary about adding unnecessary ones, especially since we’re so uneducated when it comes to the delicacies of mental health meds.

My health problem has morphed into a swallowing problem; I have extra saliva and mucus that gets “stuck” and won’t go down all the way unless I swallow a lot, and I can’t drink or eat anything anymore, which is literally the most agonizing thing in the world, I’m so thirsty (I’m still getting nutrition; please don’t ask how). I’ve done a couple tests and they’ve been fine, so no one knows what’s going on, and my parents have been lax about setting up to go to a better hospital because things aren’t urgent anymore like they used to be now that I have a reflux med. I mean, at least as far as I know; who tf knows what’s happening to me I also have leg nerve pain from sitting in a wheelchair all day every day, which is nothing new at all, it’s been a thing for years, but lately it’s been absolutely agonizing because I’m too underweight to pad my body and my wheelchair isn’t a good fit for me and getting the people to take the steps to change things takes literal months because they’re slow and lazy as molasses. My back is constantly tight too, to varying degrees, sometimes better, and I don’t know what that is, maybe anxiety, but that’s frustrating too cause it makes breathing ever so harder. So yeah, I’m not fearing for my life anymore, at least consciously, but things are still hard and I’m so tired that they’re still like this and they’re just making my mental health worse. I spend most days not doing anything, suffering in some small annoying way that’s enough to keep me from being able to focus on anything, and going to the relief of bed, to repeat forever.

I’m realizing that I’m just lonely. I’m so lonely. Everything is so different now than it was even three years ago; so many of my online friends are gone, even if we’re still mutuals on tumblr; the first online community I ever joined that first got me into online friendships and animanga has long since disbanded. Various mutuals on here I never really talked to but was used to seeing in my activity are gone. Other friends have changed slightly, though they’re still dear to me; I have new ones that are dear to me too, but yet others that I don’t feel a real connection with, and it feels like we’re just surface level acquaintances. One of my two closest and best of friends, one of the first friends I ever made years ago, abandoned me late last year, and to be honest I don’t know why. I did hurt her, but I feel confident in saying that it wasn’t to a degree that was unforgivable, or at least wasn’t worthy of a chance to redeem myself, so.... yeah, I don’t know why. She had changed a lot by that point, shut down a lot, and when I set her off and she left, it was as if all that time we’d spent so close together meant absolutely nothing anymore, had never happened... I don’t understand it. It hurts so much. I tried to contact her in other ways multiple times, by letter and by email, apologizing profusely, and she ignored all of them. It hurts and I’ve thought about it so much, I know I haven’t truly coped with it yet, but have only tried to ignore it, and I desperately need someone to tell me that I didn’t do anything wrong (at least, not wrong enough for that reaction). Cause right now I just still hate myself for it deep down, am so worried about her, worried about how she is right now, wish I knew what she was thinking/thought then, all because of my mistake..... I don’t understand, I don’t know what to do, and it makes me think that all this time I’ve been a lot more terrible of a person than I’ve ever known, and that I’ll just keep accidentally pushing people away by trying to get too close, just like her.

She abandoned me, the few “adult friends” I’ve had irl abandoned me and never talk to me anymore once they stopped working for us, so I guess I’m just cursed this way. The main thing is that I’m seeking and craving interactions with people that no one I know want to have; I love analyzing fiction and getting into the meta and all that stuff, said online friend who abandoned me and I were on nearly the same wavelength when it came to this kind of thing, and we talked for hours and hours about different series and what made them work and why they didn’t work, getting real Deep(tm), and going against popular fandom opinions we thought were wrong (cause we were/are in the minority who disagreed with some of the praise for certain big name series lmao) lol, and that was my normal for a few years... and to have all that be gone is so alien. We were going to collab on a fic together, and that barely got off the ground before she left. I’m dying to have it all back so much, but none of my other friends are into that kind of discussion like she was, and I feel like a piece of shit for acting like they’re “lesser” than her for that, but that’s basically how I’m unintentionally acting.... and I hate myself for it. But I can’t help it; I don’t know what to do. I just know I’m bursting at the seams practically with so much I want to talk about and do that I can’t and I’m so lonely and it’s all so frustrating and depressing and I’m so tired of it all. So aimless and tired and bored and unmotivated and afraid and wishing more than ever that I had 2016 back, before everything became so fucked up in so many ways.

I’m so sorry, anyone who’s friends with me now reading this; you’re all so important to me and I don’t mean to act like you’re not. I’m just sorry I’m such a mess. I need a new purpose, but I don’t know what that is. Maybe I should use this blog to write more meta posts, besides that one. Maybe I should actually post my fics here, although as everyone on tumblr knows, fics get even less notes than art does, so even though my MHA fics get a decent amount of attention as it is, maybe it wouldn’t matter if I put them here too. Is it obvious I’m just a lazy greedy lonely ass craving validation and attention and friendship at this point.......... lol......... I’m just a wreck, I feel so suppressed and aimless, trapped in a life that’s too suffocating and alone for me. And I don’t know how long I and this blog are going to stay this way, so........ I’m sorry, anyone who cares.

Thank you, everyone who’s followed me and still follow me; I appreciate you all so much, and haven’t forgotten a single one of you early ones I’ve talked to before. Hopefully eventually this blog will feel more alive again, eventually........ eventually.............. whenever I find what it is I need, somehow. In the meantime I’ll just keep reblogging MHA posts like a broken record I guess lol.

[maptoourescape]

At least promise you’ll be back on roleplaying and writing when Lucy is back. In fact when will she be back? Maybe you still have contacts with her, even though you don’t rp?

Hey anon!First of all, I’m terribly sorry for not having been able toreply to your previous ask (because I assume it indeed was you who sent it?). There’s honestly no proper excuse I couldthrow your way in regards to my silence. All I can say is that I simply don’tknow where to even start in regardsto the whole Bill/Tom/Klum topic anymore. Truth be told, my thoughts on it areso complex and all over the place, that I rather just avoid thinking about italtogether most of the days. The mere prospect of having to word theentire mess makes me tired already.So I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you, butI really don’t think I’d even manage to write anything substantial in the firstplace. With the tour approaching, though, I’m pretty sure I’ll be indire need of a rant soon enough, seeing how I’m convinced Klum is going to join it as well at some point. I also thinkthe tour will provide me with some much needed first hand insight as well,which will be crucial in putting the pieces of what the fuck is going on togetherin a more coherent way. But let me not dwell on that other ask too long now, andaddress the matter of RPing at hand.I can’t promise that I’ll be back roleplaying - at least not in the format that you’re used to read, that is. Iwish I could, and I’d love nothing more than to jump right back in, but just asmuch as you’ve been left in the dark, I’ve been left in the dark as well.You see,I don’t even know if Lucy will becoming back at all.For lack of a more appropriate wording: she bailed on me.She’d hate this wording, I’m sure (I still know you so well, Lu) – she would think it’s harsh of me to say so,and hold a grudge against me for putting it so bluntly. But that’s literallywhat it was - or well - is. You might think I know something more about thematter, seeing how I’m part of what we had going here – hell, Imyself would expect of myself to know something more as well! – butalas, I really don’t.One day she was here, then the next - she was gone.The timeline of how this came to be is blurry when I think back on it. It’sbeen quite a few months in between then and now after all. But I think it allstarted with her being online less and less in the end of 2017/beginning 2018.She was working on her thesis back then, and asked me for some space – she is awoman who is very much so enjoys her educational prospects, and someone who cherishesher career a lot. A bit of a Hermione Granger, if you will. Her disappearanceswere not so far stretched out at first, but as time passed by, she only ever came online everyfew weeks, until she finally disappeared for good in March of 2018. That meansthe last I heard from her was actually more than a year ago now.And it evenfeels longer than that, in retrospective.I tried texting her on Skype a few times. Although I was hurt and feltbetrayed, I didn’t really word that out loud to her, because knowing her, she’dtake that as ammunition to justify her being away even more (“how could I evercome back, knowing you were mad at me” sorta scenario). So my texts consistedmostly of saying that I’m sorry if she felt pressured by me in any way, andthat I’d love to have her back.I still stand by it: I miss her. I am not someone who holds grudges, and I amnot someone who lets people go lightly once I hold them as dear to my heart as Lucy. She still holds, and probably alwayswill hold, a special place in my heart – she is an extraordinary individual whocomplemented me as a writer and artist, but more importantly as a person and asa friend, as well.I’d love nothing more than for her to come back and fill mydays and nights with artistic excitement and nerdy blabber.But I would belying if I’d say I don’t feel hurt, still.So long answer short: yes, I have ways to reach her. More than she mightimagine herself, actually. I could reach out to her irl friends as well, if everything elsefailed. I have my ways.The thing is though – I don’t think Lucy wants me to do that.I doubt she evenwants to be contacted at all.I’m pretty damn sure she knows I’m still around here. She knows where to find me if she would ever choose to do so. Andthis isn’t about pride – as said, I did try reaching out to her a couple oftimes (to no avail). This is about basic human decency. Lucy chose to walk outon me, so I feel like it isn’t exactly on me to pursue (nor persuade) her any further. That is a step she must make herself at this point. If she wants to be away from me, then I don’t feel like intruding her personalspace is really the way to go. She distanced herself from me, not vice versa,and protruding myself into her face just doesn’t seem fair.I love her, so I respect her decision not to be around me, even if I amdisappointed and hurt by not knowing exactly why she decided to just wordlesslyabandon ship.My suspicions are (ones that I voiced out to her as well, way back), that shefelt way too “imprisoned” with what we were doing, but had no idea how toproperly break it to me without hurting my feelings. I told her numerous timesthat if she ever gets bored with what we are doing, she can just tell me so,and that we’ll try to work our way around the issue. See, when I made thisblog, I was always very specific in what I wanted to do. I always wanted toexplore the relationship the twins have in a very “canon” way, if I may call itso. A straightforward, and very day to day like way. I wanted to exploreeveryday issues that they were facing, wanted to take the life they shared withus on social media and make it into a coherent little psychological explorationof their relationship. I was monotonous as fuck. And I think Lucy eventually grew tired of that. Of me. She wouldtell me, repeatedly so, that that’s not the case, but I don’t know if she was being entirelytruthful in that. It certainly doesn’t seem so now. BUt it makes sense. She was always the one that was gleaming with ideas. Ideas fornew and exciting things, AUs, all of it! In that regard, we were different.I feel like maybe I was holding her back – like maybe with me, she couldn’treally fulfil her full potential. I figured that that’s why she made a new blogaccount as well, eventually - in the late stages of our online interactions. She would say it was “because she had way too manythings piled up on her old blog, and couldn’t keep track anymore”. That “she justwanted to start fresh with all the other people she was RPing with, and that ithad nothing to do with what we were doing”. But I don’t think that was reallyall there was to it. Part of it, maybe, but not the entire reasoning. I wasshocked by her making another account, and it left a bitter taste in my mouth.She didn’t tell me she was making one, nevermind why she was doing it, so Ifigured she just wanted to start fresh with me as well, which meant ignoring the building upof our characters that we had going on for more than two solid years at that point. And that was harsh. We were deathbykaulitz andmaptoourescape, you know. It was an experience. It was ongoing, and personal,and very close to my heart. And with her making a new blog, it felt like shedidn’t really feel the same way anymore. Maybe that’s when “the beginning ofthe end” truly began. Perhaps she just wanted to start anew, and felt likethere was no way to do it without hurting my feelings. Perhaps she just feltlike there’s not much more she could begin to do with me any longer. That itwas boring, and repetitive, and exhausting, and unexciting.Last I heard of her, she told me she was “ashamed that she couldn’t keep up herpromises of doing more”. That “she didn’t keep to her word she gave me, when shesaid everything will go back to normal once she finished writing up her thesis”.She said, and I quote this time: “I value reciprocity a lot. Whenever I receive, I want to give back.And I couldn’t do that.”Maybe at the end of the day, what drove her away washer inability to understand that I really wouldbe okay with it eventually if she truthfully told me that she just can’t do this with me anymore.Maybe what drove her away was her thinking “I can’t give back to her as much asshe’s giving to me anymore, so I guess the best way to go about it is just toabandon ship entirely and never come back again, because not facing it is lesspainful than having to admit it and along the way maybe hurt her feelings”.As much as it pains me to say it, I haveto:her leaving me was more painful than her being tired of my RP skills couldever be. But me being me, I still want her back. Perhaps she mightthink I feel like I only lost a RP partner that day. But it was more than that.She robbed me of a very dear friend, and never gave the two of us anopportunity to actually work around whatever the issue at hand might have been.Iimagine she is happier now. I can’t begin to tell you about the amount of timesI went into the GOT RP community, to maybe find her excellent writing amongstthe sea of other, new people – better role players and better friends. Tryingto find her amongst the Cerseis and Jeamies that would excite her more than Iever could. It still gnaws at my conscience that I seemingly wasn’t enough. Butwhether she’s happy in a new found fandom, or maybe just blissfully busy withonly her career which I know she loves so much – honestly, there’s not much moreI could ask of her.Even through all of my misery, I love to see my friends thrive and be happy.Hell, I’m someone who at 13 years old wrote a long ass letter to a girl who wasalso in love with my crush to go get him if she is what makes him truly happylmao. I’d choose my friend’s happiness over mine, anytime.I hope she isdoing well. That she’s happy and healthy wherever life’s road is taking her.Maybe a bit of a TMI answer. But I feltlike getting it off my chest. You deserve to know what went up with us, atleast vaguely. And she also deserves to know how I feel, if she ever stumblesonto this - what seems to have turned into an open letter of sorts.GG for reading through this pile of emotional crap if you managed to get thisfar lol.But most of all, thank you infinitely for caring. For being interested in what we did, and in whatI do here. I never thought anyone would really care for what we were cooking upwith our roleplay, and the fact that there’s people out there who care, andread, and appreciate humbles me so fucking much. I don’t give you nearlyenough credit or appreciation – perhaps because it’s so hard for me to imagineanyone would take a minute of their time to indulge in something I made. But know that when it hits me, it hits me hard. There is no better feeling than knowing someone loves and enjoys what you created.Much love, and in hopes I didn’t disappoint you all too terribly,Tina

[leader-chan]

11 Qs Tag

I was tagged by @straykeeds @mininspirit & @gurureum ;; im so sorry for taking a century and a half to answer but life and exams got in the way

under a read more cos this will be a long post

@straykeeds

1. What is your favourite food?

im in love with canned pineapple :) dont sue me

2. Who is your favourite non-kpop artiste?

like an ult? nirvana. but im also soft for blackbear and green day

3. Do you sleep with the air-conditioner or fan turned on?

neither. im forever cold

4. What is your native language?

not English lmao

5. What is your favourite sport?

favourite what

6. What phone are you using?

A Samsung ;; i adore this phone

7. Do you prefer transparent-glass windows or darkened-windows at home?

i like the sun thanks. transparent

8. Do you prefer grassy areas or snowy areas? grassy ;; im a big sucker for forests and stuff like that. i like nature

9. What’s your favourite animal? pandassss. but also dogs cats and horses and dolphins and-

10. What is your favourite book? my what :) i’ll pick a standalone, so this is excluding series ( harry potter, tmi hg ect) and pick Carry On plz read it if you haven’t already

11. Do you prefer to keep your nails long or short? usually long, but recently it’s been short cos it makes playing the guitar easier  @mininspirit

1.  Stray Kids bias?

The one and only Bang Chan

2.  What’s the last song you listened to?

Listening to music rn and Jungkook’s cover of Paper Hearts is on !!

3. How did you get into kpop?

lmao buckle up 

okay so my friend was into Big Bang and Shinee back in the day and showed me their songs and I was like ehh, not my thing. Fast forward like 2 years and my child self somehow came upon SNSD’s I got a boy and I was like... nice. So I listened to that somewhat and didn’t look into it further. Then sometime later I saw youtubers react / teens react ( i cant even remember now ) to kpop and among that was exo’s monster and I was like... nice. so i went to listen to that and same thing that happened with snsd happened to exo. and then i saw exo sexo vines and thats how i decided to stan exo :) then i found bts and stanned them and it was while i was watching a bts mv that i seen stray kids in the suggested list thing. 

and thats how i got into kpop

4. Favorite non-kpop artist?

like an ult? nirvana. but im also soft for blackbear and green day

5.  If you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life, what would it be?

oh thats a Q. 

probs Lay’s Lose Control. Its p short but i love all the songs on it so

6.  What’s your favourite quote of a song?

Agust D ft Suran - ‘’  Your beginnings will be humble, so prosperous will your future be ‘’ it hits home.

7.  Who’s your ultimate bias?

Zhang Yixing aka Lay aka China Sheep {{ follow me @xingtrash

8.  What’s your favourite 3RACHA song?

I’m a good old stan of Runner’s High tbh

9.  What’s the worst and best thing about being into Kpop?

best thing - how happy other people’s happiness makes me

worst thing - how time consuming it is and the language barrier :)) i need go back to learning some basic korean

10.  Fav song in unit mission (School life, Glow, 4419)?

I acc really liked glow 

11.  Ice first or drink first?

define drink  ice

@gurureum 

1. Day or night?

As in right now or which one I prefer ?  Night to both

2. Can you play any instruments?

Guitar badly

3. Do you have siblings? Pets?

3 siblings; 2 sisters & one brother. 1 dog, 1 rabbit tho the rabbit is my sisters

4. Cereal or milk first?

c e r e a l is the only ethical option

5. If you could live in any time period, when would you live?

um the past doesn’t look too great with you know.. women’s rights, slavery and all of that. the near future doesn’t look too great either so maybe like... the far far future where space travel is a daily thing and a part of our norm routine

6. What’s your favorite childhood memory?

when all of the kids from the neighborhood got together to make huts and battled against a rival playground because they took our sea-saw we won and took it back

7. What is favorite 3racha song?

Runner’s High ;; idk why

8. What did you believe in as a child but not anymore (not Santa)

wym not Santa this disrespekt 

um. that adults were always right. lmao boy was I wrong

9. Would you be your own friend?

maybe if i stopped being so dramatic all the time, but i think my loyalty makes up for it tbH

10. What do you like about yourself?

tbh the thing i like the most about myself is also the thing i think is my biggest flaw; how much I care for those that are important to me

11. How’s life?

eh. it could be better tbh

woA  thank you so much for the tags ;; i really appreciate them and answering Qs is always fun !! i know that a majority of this community already done this tag so plz feel free to ignore this if you’re tired of answering these questions ahah tagging;;  @purecerealkids @busan-daegu-hiphoplover @busanschubs @straykidshizzle @3rachaa @threerachas @ultimate-noona @mmfd

my qs;; 

What drew you to your Stray Kid’s bias?

What are you most proud of?

What are the top 3 things you want to do before you die?

Favourite movie?

What made you decide to stick around in Kpop and stan more than 1 group/person?

Which song stuck with you the most?

Why is your ult bias your ult bias?

Which fandom are you most proud of being a part of? Doesn’t have to be Kpop

Your top 5 songs?

Rain or Snow?

If Stray Kids could go on a variety show right now, which one would you want them to go on?

[geniuslab]

5 mutuals and say something nice about them too much negativity! Let's spread some positive vibes!

only 5? :( 

but yes, i love this!! this makes my heart so warm :’) 

i have to post this under a read more because it’s kind of long

@mylovejhs rachel, my soul sister, where do i begin?? rachel means the world to me, she is always so sweet and caring. i can talk to her about anything and there’s no judgment. she’s definitely listened to me rant a few times and has always been so patient and so levelheaded. she’s also hilarious, and i love talking to her because she can always make me laugh. we don’t always make the best decisions (*cough* amazon shopping sprees *cough*) but we have plenty of laughs about it. and even though i joke that we’re bad influences on each other, we’re still really responsible irl and know how to talk each other down if we have to lmao. i call her my soul sister for a reason, and that’s because we are so similar and i honestly feel like she understands me better than most. plus she finally admitted to being an ot7 stan, welcome to the family!! haha. i really, genuinely hope i can meet rachel some day. i wish we lived close to each other because without a doubt rachel would be my best friend. we would just hang out, watch bts videos, and sit on our laptops while listening to music together. best friendship ever imo. ilysm rachel

@velvethoseok kate!! i don’t think i’ve ever said this but i honestly think of kate as a little sister. and i mean that in the nicest way possible, like i love kate so much and i want to look out for her. we bicker sometimes but it’s all out of love :) kate can put me in my place tho lmao. we don’t talk quite as much as we used to and i highkey miss kate a lot. @ kate message me more i want to talk to you. even if it’s just about hobi. speaking of which, i’ve said it before and i will say it one more time: i sort of blame kate for making me fall in love with hobi. i was already stanning him when i became friends with kate but she posts so much about hobi and loves him so much that i think it spread to me and now look at me, he’s my ult fnhkfdnhkfdh. kate was one of my first friends in the fandom, we started talking because i messaged her about all of the gushy posts she’d tagged hobi in one night and from the very beginning she was super sweet and friendly! and it’s so genuine, too. kate really does care about her friends and that’s such a wonderful quality. thank you for making this fandom a kind place for me, kate. and thank you for being my friend, even if i’m a grandma :’)

@jinandtonics steph and i have been mutuals for probably...4 years? 5 years?! we didn’t start really talking until several months ago, and i somewhat blame steph for getting me into this bts mess because she was posting about them and was part of the reason why i looked up bts in the first place. steph: oh haha sorry about all the kpop i’ve been posting latelyme: it’s okay, i don’t mind seeing cute boys on my dash!!flashforward to 2 weeks later, me: yes that’s yoongi’s ear and i can tell because--anyway, steph has been there for me a lot and sometimes i feel really guilty because she’s helped me through so much and i don’t know how i could ever return the favor. i’ve been going through a rough time these past couple years but steph met me during a particularly bad rough patch and she supported me the entire time. if you’re looking for a loyal friend who will genuinely care about you, steph is it. plus she’s hilarious and writes really great tags haha@pansugah nkhnfdhkfdh i love sara with my whole heart. i am so glad we became friends. we met in one of our nets and i think i eventually private messaged her because i was like “i want to be friends with sara let’s make this happen” and she somehow is still putting up with me after all this time. we haven’t even known each other for that long, but i feel like i’ve known sara forever. she’s so sweet, i think in one of our first convos i overshared a little bit lmaoooo but i didn’t scare her away and she was so kind the entire time and even shared her own stories which helped. i really appreciated that, like so much. also sara is literally the only thing that kept me sane during that stupid bias game, our chats about how much we “love guk so so so much” made me laugh and also kept me sane. sara is so incredibly talented too, like everyone needs to check out her art. it honestly blows my mind how crazy talented she is. ily sara!!

@taepott of course i couldn’t leave out dijah, my heart :’) i think i’ve gushed about dijah so much on this blog that everyone is probably tired of hearing it but i really love her. i still cannot believe she asked me how to make gifs as an excuse to talk to me when someone had already taught her like 2 weeks prior. what is this, a 90s romcom?? nkfnsfknkn dijah and i fake fight a lot and she’s the best person to fake fight with ever. there is no such thing as tmi between us oh my gOD the convos we’ve had. it’s really nice to have a friend that i can literally share anything with and that (from what i can tell lmao) feels the same way too. i like to keep things positive, but i know that if i need to vent or be petty i can go to dijah and she will listen with open ears and open arms haha. i’m not trying to be one of those people who’s like “wow i hate myself how could anyone love me” but i legit don’t know why dijah likes me so much?? idgi but i’ll take her word on it. dijah and i are really similar sometimes and SUPER different at others (*cough* one of us has too many emotions and the other...) but i think it works because our similarities are what make us bond and our differences help us balance each other out. at least that’s my best guess. anyway this is getting long but im love dijah and i’m so happy she made me waste an hour teaching her something she already fucking knew so that we could talk.