#i feel like an island with a moat and a wall that nobody wants to touch with a 39ft pole
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#i'm 99.99999% sure it's the PMS talking#(I start tomorrow or Wednesday)#but OOF do things - personally - feel heavy and bleak right now#work#personal life#cPTSD#all of it#through therapy stuff i'm figuring out i don't trust people#people who get close eventually leave#and the grown ups who were supposed to look out for me didn't#so i've always had to just take care of myself#and it feels like it will always be that way#i feel like an island with a moat and a wall that nobody wants to touch with a 39ft pole#and even if they get close i push them away#...#anyways#to delet later#whiny leah
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For Kendell.
happy birthday @booyahkendell, welcome to the 20′s! as promised, a schmoopy kid fic.
Nora Liu loves her job. She loves it even more now that she switched out of teaching high school and went back to pre-school education.
(More like ran out, but no one needs to know that detail.)
There are still high stress situations; more responsibility being a pre-school teacher. Toddlers operate more like hazardous drunk people more than little human beings. Nora has gotten used to the spike in her blood pressure whenever she couldn’t locate one of them during head count for recess.
But she likes kids. Kids are easy. Feed them, entertain them, make sure they get their mandatory nap and keep a goddamn eye out. It’s not rocket science, as many (cough, her ex-boyfriend) think.
Oh, and make sure they don’t kill each other.
That, was easier said than done.
Typically, that’s the one rule that’s actually hard to regulate. Kids tend to use their hands more than their words. Which, well, she can’t exactly blame them because a solid third of them can barely even use words.
George and Ken for example, are almost impossible to separate since they are best friends. Best friends who like to beat each other up.
Zoe hates sharing, which is something both her parents and Nora are working on changing. Nora caught her swing at another kid for touching her building blocks once.
Some of them are just straight up nightmares.
Nora loves her job. She loves kids. And sometimes…
Sometimes, they surprise her.
Alex Carisi, for example. Four years old going on forty, in Nora’s opinion. She plays alone, not because other kids don’t like her or don’t want to include her but because she genuinely enjoys it. She can entertain herself and still put her toys away when playtime’s over. The kid barely kicks up a fuss and never makes a loud scene, which wouldn’t be so surprising if her twin brother wasn’t the polar fucking opposite.
Julian Carisi is a firecracker and oddly articulate for his age. He talks a lot, asks even more questions and makes it his job to give Nora heart attacks for how nimble (and fearless…) he is once a tree is in his sights.
For twins, they don’t really look alike. Nora first assumed they were adopted, knowing that they have two fathers (not that she’s met them yet, green as she is.) But there are similar enough features that hint that they have some genetic connection, if not one hundred percent.
Alex’s light brown hair is long and always styled half up, half down with a different coloured bow. Her complexion is fair, as well as her eyes that are a bright blue. When she laughs and smiles, two dimples appear deep in her cheeks.
Julian also has brown hair, short and curly atop his head. He’s a barely a shade darker than his sister and instead of blue eyes, his are green.
Nora thinks they have the same nose. But that’s about it. She doesn’t know why she can’t stop trying to figure it out.
But then George throws sand in Lucas’ eyes and that train of thought dies.
-
It’s the end of the day and Nora is waiting for the parent pick up at the front of the school. Most of them have already been taken home. Nora checks her watch; it’s a little past two pm. She glances back up and does another head count. All accounted for.
Among all the boys left, Alex is the only girl. While the boys play together, she sits in the sandbox, making a castle. She looks focussed. Nora walks over to her and Alex doesn’t even look up to acknowledge her presence.
“That’s a pretty sandcastle Alex,” Nora says, squatting to reach her eye-level.
“Thanks,” Alex says, she’s not really listening. Instead, she’s looking at her miniature toys and takes the princess toy and places her on top of the castle.
“Is it a princess castle?” Nora presses. It’s weird; how much she normally would give anything for the kids to shut up some days and yet wants nothing more than for this one to open up.
Alex nods and pushes her hair out of her face. Nora unscrews her water bottle. It’s been a hot week. “Wanna see something cool?”
Alex nods again and shuffles back in the sand. Her tights and shirt are sandy. Nora smiles and digs around the castle with the tiny plastic shovel and pours her water in, making a moat. Alex’s face lights up and she claps.
“She can swim now!” Alex cries and drops her princess face down into the water. Nora bites back a laugh. Nora picks up the doll and shakes the water off.
“Yeah, she can swim now. This is called a m—”
But Alex isn’t listening to her anymore, her attention is over her head and Nora has never seen that expression on her face before. It’s like pure sunshine. “Daddy!”
Alex scrambles to her feet and runs. Nora hears a low voice from behind her make an exaggerated hurt sound and Alex giggles. She turns as she gets up, the wet doll in her hand and –
Wow.
The man is tall and lean, holding Alex comfortably at his hip. He’s dressed formally; a navy three pieced suit and expensive looking shoes. Nora would assume he works somewhere on Wall Street, if his police badge wasn’t on his hip, glinting in the sunlight. Alex’s tiny arms are wrapped around his neck and she’s talking a mile a minute into his ear. The man laughs and they’re close enough that she can make out identical dimples on his cheeks that match Alex’s.
This must be Alex and Julian’s father. He kisses her on the cheek and she starts to wriggle, wordlessly telling him she wants to be put down. He does so but Alex holds his hand, and starts to climb up his leg like he’s some sort of tree. Nora can’t really blame her. He’s tall as one and gorgeous as fu—
“Sorry I’m late,” her father says, snapping Nora out of her thoughts. He doesn’t seem to mind that his daughter is using him as a jungle gym, carrying on a conversation still. He’s bent over a little bit but keeps his eyes on Nora and damn, that’s where she gets those blues from. “Got here as fast as I can. How was she? Not too much trouble I hope?” He smiles, lips full and pink. Jesus Christ.
His accent is obviously Staten Island, and a thick one at that. He’s effortlessly handsome, his age only shown in the greys on the side of his light brown hair. Luckily, the absurdity of that question is enough to wake her up from drooling.
“Trouble? Alex?” Nora asks, unable to keep the laugh out of her voice and comes closer to hand Alex her toy back. “I don’t know what magic you’ve got going on at home but she’s the complete opposite of trouble. Believe me.”
Alex’s father laughs at that, eyes shining and looks down at his daughter who has given up trying to climb him and just holds his hand and hugs his leg. Daddy’s little girl. “Yeah, she is,” he says and then he seems to remember something. “Speaking of trouble, where’s your brother?”
Alex shrugs, the question and concern beneath her. Sonny rolls his eyes.
“Oh, he’s – “ Nora turns to point to the play structure in the middle of the yard.
“Julian!” Alex’s father shouts and like clockwork, Julian’s face pops out from inside the play castle, like he’s been caught red-handed. When he sees who it is, he leaves his friends behind and runs down the fort and into his dad’s other leg. Julian starts talking a mile a minute, tugging his dad towards the playground.
“I found a snail daddy,” Julian says, like he’s found buried treasure.
Alex tugs him the other way. “Is Papi home yet Daddy?”
“Oh yeah?” His dad says to Julian with something like genuine interest and then, “Papi’s on his way here sweetheart. Let your brother show daddy the snail while we wait.” Then to Nora, “I’m Sonny by the way, I’d shake your hand but,” he shrugs. Like this is his life now.
Nora blinks. “No problem.”
Sonny grins. Julian lets go of his hand and he picks up Alex, who now looks grumpy. As he lets his son lead him to the jungle gym, he presses another kiss to his daughter. “Hey, you mad at me?” Alex pouts and doesn’t say anything. “Aww, you mad at daddy?” He says, grinning wide now. Nora feels something die inside her at the sight of it. He nuzzles his nose to her face until she shoves him away with her little hand, giggling. Alex kisses him off centre on the lips, a forgiveness.
Nora’s pretty sure her standards have skyrocketed into the atmosphere just watching this.
-
Turns out Sonny is more than just a pretty face with an even prettier body and impressive father skills. He’s funny, he’s a good listener and can multi-task like nobody’s business.
They keep a on and off conversation, waiting for his husband to show up.
(“You grow up here?” He asked, keeping an eye on his kids as they went up and down the slide.
Nora shook her head. “California. Moved her about ten years ago.”
Sonny whistled. “Long way to teach.”)
(“So, you’re a cop,” Nora said, a little awkwardly.
“Yup,” Sonny responded, popping the ‘p’.
“That must be…fun.”
Sonny laughed, like there was some sort of inside joke she wasn’t privy to. “Well it sure isn’t boring. That their father’s job, not mine.” And when Nora just stared, Sonny was quick to fill her in. “He’s a lawyer.”
“Ah.”)
(“Not to cross any boundaries,” Nora asked later, “but they’re fraternal right?”
Sonny smiled at that. “They look identical to you?”
“Um – “
Sonny waved her off, “nah, I’m just screwing with you. Yeah, they are. They have the same mother, biologically, but everything else is,” he made a weird gesture that Nora figured meant to say: one part of me, one part of their other dad.
“Huh,” she said. “Cool.”
And Sonny glanced over at her, arms crossed with a soft smile on his lips. “Yeah. It is.”
-
It’s another ten minutes or so, when “Papi” appears.
All the children have been picked up and technically, Nora doesn’t have a reason to stick around any longer. She has a bottle of Pinot Noir calling her name at home, but she can’t help her curiosity to see who put a ring on Sonny. She’s looking up recipes for dinner on her phone (Sonny had suggested a great website) when she hears him shout loud and sarcastically, “well look who decided to show up!”
He’s still smiling despite the tone in his voice; sitting cross legged on the ground with his suit jacket to protect his pants from the wood chips. His sleeves are rolled up past his elbows and he somehow managed to get Alex and Julian both playing together. Nora turns around from her seat on the bench.
A man approaches, an expensive looking leather briefcase in one hand. If Sonny’s suit was impressive, his belongs on a runway. It probably costs more than what Nora gets paid. He’s about her height, maybe a bit taller and his hair is dark; dark like Julian’s. The closer he gets, the more she can see Julian in every aspect of him. Nora bets behind those shades, his eyes are green just like his.
“Look who it is,” Sonny whispers to Alex, who has her arms around his neck but doesn’t move to greet her dad.
Julian is already in his arms, heavy and exhausted from playing under the sun all day. ‘Papi’ brushes his unruly hair down, trying to get it flat when he pushes his glasses over his head. He’s unfairly handsome in an unobtainable type of way. All tanned skin and green eyes.
“Alexandra,” he says softly, “you can’t give Papi a kiss hello?”
This is all a little too private for a stranger. Nora watches as Alex grips onto Sonny harder and hides her face. Nora can tell that he’s being played with and played with well. Sonny seems to notice it too.
Sonny rolls his eyes and rubs her back. “Papi didn’t mean to be late honey,” he says sweetly. “He’s out there saving the world remember? Making the world a better place like daddy.”
Je-sus.
Alex pulls her head away from Sonny’s neck and looks to her dad, who reaches out to her with his free hand. “I’m sorry mi amor, forgive me?”
It looks like those words affect Sonny more than they affect Alex who seems to think this offer over, taking her time, before nodding and she throws herself into his open arm where he’s knelt. He kisses her cheek and hugs her tight.
If Nora feels emotional watching it, Sonny appears to be wrecked. Happy and proud all at once. Sonny gets to his feet, a little unsteady and takes Julian from him, who is dead asleep. Sonny kisses his husband chastely on the lips, easy as breathing and then nudges his shoulder.
“Raf, this is Nora, their teacher,” Sonny says with a not-so subtle tone in his voice that is reminiscent of “show your manners.”
“Rafael Barba,” Rafael says, shaking her hand. He scans her face, like he’s making sure he’ll never forget it if something happens. The shift from adoring, grovelling dad to intimidating father is scary.
And just like that, she’s beneath his attention again. “Papi, I’m hungry,” Alex says, rubbing at her eye. She tugs his hand and Rafael lets her lead him out of school grounds, talking about pizza for dinner. Jesus. Alex has got him wrapped around her finger.
“You need a ride home?” Sonny asks Nora, adjusting Julian in his grip. Julian nuzzles closer, but doesn’t wake. Nora shakes her head and gathers her bag.
“No, I’ll catch a quick ride.”
“You sure?” It’s so obvious he wants to leave. His eyes keep darting to his retreating husband and daughter.
“I’m sure,” she smiles to reassure him. “You have a beautiful family Mr. Carisi.”
Sonny looks over to where his husband is loading Alex into the back seat of a shiny black Mustang. Rafael closes the door and looks for Sonny. Sonny’s already heading over, pulled into his orbit. “Yeah, I do.” His grin brighter than the summer sun.
#booyahkendell#my fics#fanfiction#I WROTE UNDER 3K WHAT IS THIS#barisi#happy birthday#my first kid fic#IT COULD HAVE BEEN SAPPIER#outsider pov#i wrote this in one sitting so all errors are mine
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