#i feel hands on my rn wnd i see the colors of everyone's eyes and I feel horrifying
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idk how I'd ever pull myself through this shit without pills. gotta pop them when my ptsd starts to drive me insane. it's the only way I can truly escape my body
#i dont just need to get out of my mind. i need out of my BODY#if I'm aware im existing then im freaking out when I'm like this#dont want to hear my voice or see my scars or look at anything or think anything or EXIST#i want to be so high incant form a fucking thought properly#god i hate it when its like this#FUCK ALL OF THEM FOR DOING THIS TO ME#AND FUCK THEM FOR THINKING THEY HAD ANY RIGHT TO LAY THEIR FILTHY HANDS ON ME#NOW I CARRY THIS SHIT WITH ME EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY#I STARVE MYSELF I GET HIGH I CRUSH PILLS AND DO LINES AND I DRINK TIL MY VISION BLURS#AND ITS NEVER ENOUGH#i feel hands on my rn wnd i see the colors of everyone's eyes and I feel horrifying#grotesque bitch.. jesus#all i can do is hyper-focus on my body and my imperfections rn wnd its freaking me out#i cant.. fix this issue.. that im not gonna describe#all bc im so focused on these STUPID THINGS#i need OUT#a
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