#i feel bad for my mum and siblings and that's what's pushing me to stay in one piece

[amzarashi]

.

[blingblong55]

Smoke Signals- COD MEN

This is based gonna request:

Angst?, Family issues, mentions of abuse, mentions of SA and possible R8pe.

Backstory:

It's a known fact to Price that you never had a relationship/bond with your family. You had the worst relationship with them. As a child they treated you like shit. Nothing but the worst. One time, you tried to explain to them what had happened to you at a party, they as always didn't believe you. You were triggered when others would touch your thighs, so when they knew this, they pinned you to the floor, touching you everywhere. Ever since, it had been you out in the world.

----

Any time you'd have to take time off because you "earned" it, you'd stay at base. Price was the man you told all of your problems to, he listened to it all. Always the shoulder you leaned on, on tough nights. The guy who would make a joke as you cried. To him you had become his own child. So when your family would sneak up on base and verbally harass you for not being there for them(always asked for money) price would have them escorted. He'd sent you to his office and you'd sit there with a therapist, his hand holding yours. Always squeezing it when he knew you'd be close to a bad memory.

It brought him pain when he watched you talk about the past, you were so use to the mistreatment your poor soul thought this was normal. And ever since you first shared a dark memory with him, he has been teaching you the right ways you should've been treated like.

One late night, Price, Ghost and Alejandro had a meeting. It extended further than they'd like. Soap, Gaz, Rudy and Kreuger were off base, they decided to treat themselves to a few drinks. You walked around base, waiting for anyone to hang around with you. Unfortunately, your family got passed security. Soon they found you, they started to say things to you. "look at you, such a weak thing." your father pushed you around.

"there is a reason why I nearly aborted you, such a disgrace"

Your siblings started to push your buttons. And suddenly as you closed your eyes, you were 7 years old again. You were back in your room, your arms protecting your poor weak figure. "Daddy please stop!" you begged, yours eyes shut as tears streamed down. "this si what you get for being such a disrespectful thing!" he kept hitting you.

"please mummy do something, it hurts."

You prayed and prayed, hoping someone would hear this and take you away. To somewhere safe, kind and far away. To and mum and a dad who would love you, who'd hold your hand when you were scarred.

You must've been lookin' for me Sendin' smoke signals Pelicans circling Burnin' trash out on the beach

"get away from them!" price rushed to you. The rest of the team trailed behind, confused as to why the captain was acting like this. But as they approached they saw you. You were sitting on the floor, holding yourself as tears ran down. Price kneeled down, his arms around you. "Ghost call security, get these fuckers out" he spitted.

"hey, listen to me, you're safe now. They are gone." he whispered as he rocked you in his arms. "I'm here, they won't hurt you again. r/n"

But you weren't responding. You pushed hi off, he stepped back. You started whispering, "M'sorry dad, it's my fault just please..please don't hit me." your voice cracked. Your hands started to travel around your skin, you started to grip onto it. Price knew you were close to having a breakdown. So against your wishes he picked you up and jogged to his office.

One of your eyes is always half-shut Somethin' happened when you were a kid I didn't know you then and I'll never understand Why it feels like I did

Through the night he stayed up, listening as you calmed yourself down. "you left me alone." you finally said, your gaze focused on him. "I know kid, and for that I am sorry."

"why did you leave me?" your voice was so soft, god it broke him a million times to hear you say this.

"I didn't mean to."

---------

It was a regular Friday. Price and the other commanding officers back at the meeting room. You were locked in your room. What can I say, you learn from mistakes after all. You grew hungry at around 5pm, the mess hall was closed. To all other soldiers, but price gave you a spare key. "have a go, just don't be hard on the ice cream, and save me some." he had told you. As you exited your room, your mother tapped your shoulder. "I believe we have to talk." And you walked inside your room again. They sat around, "so what is it?" you asked. "why are you so stubborn with us?" you were confused. "stubborn?"

"well we try and try to talk to you, but all you do is send us away. I mean I am your mother for god sakes, and all I want is for my child to love me!" She began to fake cry. It was typical for her. "mum-"

"no your mother is right, we have tried to reach out, we send stuff to you, and all you do is bitch about it to your commanders." you dad stood up, god you hated that look on his face. Unfortunately it was a emotion he carried everywhere.

"When have I done such bullshit? I was just a kid when you all decided I would be your personal punching bag, you fucking blamed me for shit I didn't do. I loved you all, forgave you for it all."

"those are stolen memories, you saw a show and what you say we did is fake." you mother said

"what?! that is such a fucking lie! I lived through all your hate! I was always the idiot to go back to you! I cried for you, I begged for you to love me and all you did was laugh at my face mother!"

"pity me pity me." your sibling mocked your voice. You were closer to crying this time.

"aren't you embarrassed? grown men have to protect you, I mean you are just another burden for them!"

"that. is not true! I have found a family here, we all understand each other, we respect one another and I would die for them" you opened the door from your room, stepping out.

Your "conversation" had become so loud your teammates came out of their rooms. They all stood around and watched as you started to crumble. As you marched out, your mother grabbed your arm. "this isn't over! You listen to me here-!"

"no you listen to me! I have had enough of all of you, with you shit memories, you always play hero mother, always and I am tired of your fake crying. And by the way you should be embarrassed, at your grown age acting like a child? God you are pathetic.!" Your voice cracked every now and then, you wiped your tears and continue to look at her.

Alejandro wanted to step in, but Soap pulled him back. Price started to make way to you. You dad slapped you across the face. "don't you ever disrespect your mother!" There is was, his goddamn devil face. If he wanted you he could kill ya.

"go ahead dad, beat me, do it! just like when I was a kid! You fucking piece of shit."

"I hope you fucking die!"

the men started to approach. Your mother pushed you to the floor, as you looked up at her an evil smile was smudged against her lips. It was the same look she gave you every time she would hit you hard.

And once more, you were a child.

"mummy please, please don't hit me! I love you mummy please!" but she did it, she'd hit you until you fell asleep. And then as she regained some energy she would pull out a cigarette, she would light two. One for her and one for your skin. Anytime she inhaled the smoke, she would burn your skin

You're cried, "you are seriously doing this again?" your voice cracked, it was so low that only she heard. You had given up once more.

And as your father started to take his belt off, Ghost tackled him. He punched him a few times. One of your siblings tried to push him off, but Sebastian (Krueger) held them and with one move he knocked them out. Price and Soap dragged your mother and other sibling out.

"We will be back and next time I come around you'll regret being being born!" Rodolfo and Alejandro held you in their arms.

Just checking out to hide from life And all of our problems, I'm gonna solve 'em With you ridin' shotgun Speeding 'cause fuck the cops

Soon all the men looked at you, "what?" you cheek was red, a hand print on it. Gaz came back with a pack of ice, "here, don't want ya pretty face to suffer." he jokingly said.

"yeah imagine having to kiss ya cheek goo'night with what could be a bruise,,,,yikes" soap said as he wrapped you in his arms. Alejandro smacked the back of his head as he said that, it caused a giggle to escape your lips. "Oi!" he responded.

And for the first time, you were able to admit that your family had become your annoying lover boys. For this was true family, your family.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Tags: @ruler-of-fandoms69

A/n: okay maybe this isn't exactly what you had in mind, but I really do hope you liked it!

Can’t sleep so here ya go!

[ivathestar]

Jealous much?… (Part.1)

Neteyam x Female Omaticayan Reader (you) 

Both Neteyam and The reader are 18-19 yrs old!!

Warnings: Nothing to bad (like killing ect.),Jealousy

Not proof read! (Word count:?)

Format: Neteyam and you both grew up together in the Omaticaya. You both came very close at a young age. You mainly thought to yourself that neteyam was technically like your brother, and the same with his siblings. It has been a few years and both neteyam and you have grown close feelings for each other. Your parents couldn’t  look after you due to the wars back home. They organised to move you to the Metkayina with Jake sully and his family, where a little someone gets a little something…

_____

“Are you all packed, Y/N?” You look around your room, feeling empty. Your mother stands by the doorway waiting for you. “Y/N?” Your mother walks closer to you, placing a soft, gentle hand on your shoulder. Your eyes fill with heavy tears. You turn your head to face your mum. “I dont want to go! Why cant you come?! Or why cant i stay?!” You become frustrated as the tears fall down your pale blue skin. “I…I'm sorry Hun, you have to go..and me and your father have to stay, we dont want you fighting here. It's too risky.” Your mothers words feel as if an arrow got shot through your heart. 

You grab your bags and walk out to find Jake. You place your baggings down and gaze over to your old, favourite spot. It was a pond. But not any kind of pond. It was a pond where you believed was a ‘luck pond’. It had a pale, aqua shimmer when the bright sun gazed on it. It felt as if luck was in that specific pond. You heard Jake coming near, so you picked up your bags and brought it over to him. “Here you go, Mr sully..” you hand jake your bags and wait to take off. You look over your shoulder, as your home left further in the abyss.

_______

you all land on a small island. The water around the island was like the water at the luck pond back home. Every one circled around you all. You glance around and see a young male Metkayina around your age. He looked both you and neteyam up and down as he joined the crowd. He smiles and winks at you, as you giggle softly at his manner. Neteyam notices and gets a little pissed at first but brushes  it off as the chief of the Metkayina arrives to see your presents. “ Why have you come to us?” Tonowarri walked closer into the crowd to meet Jake sully's face. Jake explains that he wanted to keep both his family and you safe, and needed somewhere safer to live. “My daughter tsireya and son Ao’nung, will help you kids show our ways.”

Neytiri looked at Jake with a worried look. “What's wrong?” He asked, placing his large hand on her shoulder. She turned around to face her mate. "This..this all feel different!" Her eyes slowly tear up as Jake lightly places his big hand, on her face cupping it. "It's so we can keep our family safe Ma'neytiri!" Neytiri looks up at his golden dark eyes and looked over his shoulder. She notions you and neteyam splashing around together in the shallow depths of the water. She sighs and continues to unpack the bags of stuff.

_______

The sun set below the horizon. The clear blue water glistens as you walk slowly to the water. The cold water brushes over you toes as you look at the sun set. You slowly walk into the water and you duck you head under. You push your hair pack out of your eyes as you hear someone or something walk closer to you in the water.

You pull out hunting knife and turned around with a panic. "Fuck..you scared me.." you sigh as you put your knife away. "I'm sorry..oh uh I'm Ao'nung by the way!" The unfamiliar voice approaches you as you look at the figure. "Y/N.. I'm Y/N" You say looking at the tall figure which stood in front of you. You smile as you both have small conversations.

"that bitch.." neteyam hisses at himself as he pears though the trees. "She's mine.." he walks out from behind the trees to meet the two of you walking back. "Oh! Hi teyam!" You smile up at him as he glares at Ao'nung with a deathly like look. "Nete? Teyam!? NETEYAM!?" You wave your hand Infront of his face as he quickly looks down to you. "Oh yeah s.. sorry!" He says grabbing your wrist firmly, pulling you away from Ao'nung.

______

"Excuse you!? What was that!" You tell up at him. Neteyam glares back down to you. "Oh uh dinner was just ready and I was just collecting you from that...boy.." He lightly let go of your wrist and starts to rub it. You look at his hands work around your wrist massaging it softly. "Sorry if I held your wrist to tight.." He apologies as you smile at him. "Nah it's all good!"

You both walk into your hut as you look around to find neytiri. You find her sitting down eating some food with the rest of her family. "I'm so sorry We're late Mr and Mrs sully!" You say sitting down at the table. "Oh ma'y/n it's fine!" Neytiri says holding your shoulder and signaling you to eat up. You smile as you eat you dinner. Neteyam plops next to you as the holds your thigh. You look at him, but he was to bussy eating. "So how was our day today kids?" Jake asks looking at Neteyam. Neteyam looks up with food shoved in his mouth. Jake gives him a glare as Neteyam quickly swallows it. "Uh..sorry. yeah it was pretty good. Went fishing with Rotxo and Ao'nung" he says as he looks at his father. You smile and finish your dinner, excusing yourself.

______

"Neteyam can we talk? Quickly" you grab neteyams shoulder. He look at you and smiles. "yuh, sure!" You both slowly walk outside your hut as you smile turned into a frown. "What was that!?" Neteyam looks at you with confusion. "H..huh?" You look at him with a deathly like glare. "Don't play dumb! When I was talking to Ao'nung! What was that!!" Neteyam frowns and look at you dead in the eyes. "He was making you uncomfortable" you look at him confused. "What the fuck? What made you think that!?" He looks away, and slowly walks off. "Your jealous aren't you?" Neteyam pauses. Slowly turning to face you. "What?" You clear your throat. "You are jealous aren't you!" You say a little louder. He turns his whole body to face yours. You stood there quietly as he slowly approaches you.

You slowly look up at him. "Jealous much? Hmm?" You smirk at him waiting for his response.

_______

Creator's note:

AHHHHH! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! DEFINITELY DESERVES A PT.2!💗

Also can y'all give me more ideas like (name) X reader!? That'll be great!!💗

[flowersonpebbles]

Week 1: Origins 5. Home – Emikka Hawke Dallas Surana

@elfroot-and-laurels

TW: angsty angst for the most part, canon trauma of characters mentioned, violence

I could barely remember anything from before the Circle… Mother had gorgeous red hair though, I can remember that. And that she was scared or something… I can’t truly recall. The tower was my home for many years, its all I knew… I was rarely cold or alone, it was such a struggle to be alone. I managed to find a spot at some point but I grew too big to hide in it. I had to make due with the garden then… until that too was taken away from us. Jowan was my closest friend, listening to my questions, never answering, sometimes he didn’t know how to or simply didn’t have answers, but he at least never chastised me. I miss him… Its been hard on the roads with Duncan… I can only hope he has found a safe place away from the Templars…

I lean into Zevran’s side, staring at the stream numbly. Exhausted after fighting a high dragon, so many ‘spirits’ and dragonlings… We’re almost there… I sigh shakily, eyes drooping shut as I take a breath… relaxing as Zev holds me… my new found home…

I miss Zev… I miss Lamb… “Mouse…?” I choke out softly in a broken voice, trying to quiet the droned singing in my head…Don’t forget them. We need to push on… be brave…

I never grew attached to a place, knowing we wouldn’t be able to stay long. Lothering was probably the longest we stayed at a place. My little siblings were mostly my home, of course father and mum too. And my precious Lamb. But after losing Father… and then Bethany? Kirkwall felt colder than I did towards previous ‘homes’. Mum was bitter, maybe that’s why…? Carver was just himself, if with less bite sometimes and other times, much too sharp bite. Joining the mercs was probably a bad idea but… Gamlen at least got us in safe. Then Carver had to go with Grey Wardens in the Deep Roads and I just… Mum was so much colder and more bitter than before. Her childhood home didn’t feel better than Gamlen’s hovel. Sometimes I understand Uncle too well regarding Mum.

Then flirting grew into feelings regarding Isabella and Fenris. My heart bled for Fenris when he had killed the woman who made his life even more miserable when he was a slave and he had asked me, “What has magic touched that it did not ruin?” It cut me so deep, because magic touched me and Bethany and father, yet look where it got them, where it got me. And the lump in my throat was too big to croak out, that it did not ruin him at the very least… he turned and left before I could get past the lump… He felt like home to me. Isabela started feeling like home too… the playful banters and flirting… then we even had a tumble the one evening but she left, clearly scared of being emotionally attached… But I let her. Understanding her fear after that awful marriage, after her mother sold her… She wanted to be free… Who was I to force her to settle? Fenris did the same, having left after a night as well, terrified by returned memories and I was left with an aching heart for years… my home was in two people, two people who were scared of growing attached.

After Mum perished, they were there, holding me, listening, soothing me. Making me eat and bathe so I don’t waste away. Isabela came back even when she left with that book of the qunari… the years passed after that, we were still close enough to speak and comfort each other now and again but… it took a lot for all three of us to come together and admit our feelings, after all, Fenris and Isabella also had a goings on in the years, at least. And for a time, my home stayed with me after the explosion. We left together, travelled together until we had to split up, Fenris wanted to hunt slavers and Isabella wanted a new, large ship. I wanted to try and help Anders lead mages away from conflicts… my home was once more away from me then.

[mecchantheotaku]

I'm sick and overwhelmed with bad memories, so I wanted to get it all off my chest. You don't have to read it or believe me, and there's so many trigger warnings I don't even know where to begin with tagging, but I need to let it all out. Read at your own risk.

My bad past began when I was very young, about three or four. I never really knew my dad back then, so the closest thing I had to a father was my brother's dad (we're half siblings with the same mum), and I don't really remember what happened back then, but my mum suggests that my emotions do remember, and she didn't sugarcoat what happened: my brother's dad would hit her. That's part of the reason she left him after only a couple of years. She thinks the emotional memories of witnessing that are what caused my fear of hostility, even when it's not directed at me.

Then I was diagnosed with autism at a young age and there was a lot of hard work involving me. My primary school life was all over the place, and I felt like I didn't fit in with either the special needs classes or the "normal" classes. This feeling of not belonging in either group has been consistent and I still feel it even to this day.

When I entered secondary school I was excited. It was a new experience, and I got to stay overnight for four nights a week. And the first year turned out okay. But come the second year when i was about 12-13, I started learning more about social cues, and I began to realise that despite this being a specialist school for autistic kids, that many of the other kids found me weird and made fun of me.

I always had issues controlling my temper, and back then, it was at its worst. I would have violent outbursts, and my bullies used that to their advantage. They would deliberately wind me up to get me sent to isolation. It was painful. And it eventually got so bad I hurt a close friend. Since then, I have made an active effort to not get into any sort of conflict.

In addition, I never got to learn the life skills I needed to know. At first I thought it was because I was staying four nights a week, but after my post-school life I came to realise that even if I did go home every day, I wouldn't have learned those skills.

And that's not even the worst thing about my school life. Back then, I was easily taken advantage of. There were five separate people in my life back then who would use my naivete to their advantage and get me to do things no one my age should ever be doing. I didn't realise how bad it was then. But now I do, and I feel disgusted in myself for it.

In addition, I discovered I liked boys and girls, so I came out as bisexual (I didn't understand asexuality at the time, so really, I discovered I was biromantic but didn't know) and my mum made fun of me for it, so I pushed myself so far back into the closet I gaslit myself into thinking I was straight and just looking for attention. I didn't get out of that state until I was 18 years old.

When I graduated secondary school, my.bad school life didn't end for a good few years after. I went to three separate colleges, and all of them ended on bad notes. The first one I personally hated and wanted to leave. The second one couldn't handle me and expelled me. And the third one eventually kicked me out for taking too long to make any progress. After that, I just gave up.

I was also struggling with loneliness and despair until I met a few people online who I'm still friends with to this day. They saved me back then.

After I left my last college is when the most nightmarish thing of all happened. My mum got a new boyfriend.

And while he seemed fun at first, things gradually changed with my family to the point it felt like a shadow of its former self ever since he arrived. My mum became a complete wreck, my brother left the house, we would never talk to anyone outside the house anymore... it felt like I'd been transported to a different world.

In addition, my stepdad (I will call him that because I do not want to refer to him by name) was being extremely pushy, manipulative and jealous. It felt like he was taking over the house. I put up with him because he would do nice things for me all the time... but then I slowly began to notice something horrible. He wasn't being nice to me. He was grooming me.

He would make all sorts of inappropriate comments and even sometimes touch me inappropriately despite me telling him not to, and when he eventually gifted me lacy panties (which he admitted to having a fetish for) and a freaking vibrator (I had told him I was asexual which he would deny). I felt unsafe in my own safe space.

My long-distance boyfriend then told me to tell my brother about this. So I did. And he immediately took me out of that house, and now I'm at my grandma's house, trying to recover from everything I described above.

And it's so hard. I've wanted to escape this world several times throughout all of this, and I still want to now. But I can't. My body won't let me.

And that's everything. I'm sorry for this post being so long and so full of horrible stuff. You don't have to believe me. I just wanted to say it.

[roseofithaca]

Not gonna tag this but those that know will know what it's about. Fuming rant under the cut.

I fucking hate the take of "those who hate the found family splitting up trope are young people who are scared of change and being apart from their parents/siblings" - shut up! It is so god damn patronising.

I am a 34 year old childfree-by-choice neurodivergent lesbian who moved out on her own three years ago. It was the happiest day of my life because my family is toxic as shit and I wouldn't go back to living with them for anything. I do not fit this image you have made up.

Why do I hate the trope? Because I've lost contact with enough straight friends in my life who have got married and had kids and moved away and it fucking hurts, do I resent them for it? Of course not! Am I happy for them? Yes! Do we keep in touch when we can? Yes but it still hurts. Especially when those of my friends who have kids or boyfriends are more likely to stay in touch and you feel like you don't fit in, or people judge you and say you're not a "grown up" simply because you're a woman who doesn't want children. So whenever I see the "the couple has a child so they have to grow up now and will inevitably let their friendships be pushed aside" happen it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I watch TV shows and read books for ESCAPISM. Most of the shows I'm into are fantasy or have some supernatural elements, so everything else is allowed to go in completely crazy directions, with the writers jumping through all sorts of loops to make things happen, but friends who are like family being separated or losing touch as soon as someone gets married or has a kid HAS to happen because it's "realistic"? Giving us the fantasy of witches and superheroes and ghost families is fine but the idea of found families not being separated forever / most of the time is going too far? Like there's no magical or plot twist you can pull so they can still stay close, they have to part ways because "lol thats just life!" It reminds me so much of the days where Bury Your Gays was everywhere, when it was like "yes you get representation but not a happy ending" - and given found families are usually queer coded or go against the heteronormative narrative it feels connected.

No of course people don't have to live together 24/7 to still be family or best friends but they can live near to each other, or they can go exploring but return to the same home town, they can see each other more than just at Christmas and the odd celebration, they can help be there to raise the inevitable child - like seriously why are we pushing this "two parents have to just focus on their kid together", the closest person I'm to in my family is my sister in law and she LOVED having so many aunts around to help be there for my nieces and loved having time to be something other than a mom now and then! One of my friends who became a mum but I stayed close to loves the moments where we can hang out and, even though I say her kids are always welcome at my place, she likes coming on her own so that she can just enjoy our time together.

Also wanna point out that if you compare found family to nuclear family, and that leaving them is "no different than moving out of your parents house" then you really don't get the found family trope or why people from backgrounds like mine get so attached to it.

[izzy-b-hands]

He’s Just One More

Flashback and forthing Blackhands, from friendship to very undefined/needs to be talked about but that shit ain’t gonna happen for ages More of Some Sort

Centering around Izzy ‘hey if I’m sick in some way I definitely should fight being made better as hard as possible bc I’m convinced I don’t deserve it’ Hands fdlaksjlsa (no one at me abt projecting on a character rn either fdskalfjaslk)

Title from JCSS bc we’re watching various versions rn and this particular lyric smacked me along with this story idea in the shower like Norman Bates if he was really bad at stabbing, so it basically Has to Stay as the title I think (plus there’s elements of the story that can be thought abt in relation to the idea of that phrase, Izzy as Just One More child to his mother, person Ed knows, pirate, etc)

---

“You look like shit.”

Izzy nods. “So I’ve heard.”

“You’re either taking him off my hands, or you aren’t,” his mother repeats to Ed’s mum. “Which is it?”

“I can’t take-”

“Then if he lives, he lives,” his mother continues on with her laundry folding, all in rapid fire rhythm, not a hem missing in meeting its brother. “And if he dies-”

“Ed, grab him.”

He hears his mother’s shouts, demands for some compensation, but she won’t pursue it. She didn’t with his older siblings, and she won’t with the ones that come after him either. They stay with her until they’re no longer useful, or can’t work, or simply don’t amuse her anymore.

“Of little use, breathing or dead.”

“What’s that?” Ed asks, holding him up and hustling him along the beach towards home.

“Nothing. Just something she used to s-”

“Fuck what she has to say,” he scoffs. “She was going to let you die.”

“I know. I was expecting it.”

“Well, start expecting something different.”

--

“You look like fucking shit,” Jim frowns. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

“Stuck on this godforsaken ship in this godforsaken storm, just like you,” Izzy spits back.

“I didn’t mean the seasick thing,” Jim continues. “That’s all of us right now.”

They nod in warning, and duck their head away to vomit over the rail.

“So I see. Is there any task you’re requiring guidance or assistance with then?”

“No, but you-”

“Call if you need me,” Izzy interrupts and does his best to stalk away, inflamed foot screaming in pain. It feels like laying his foot down slowly on a boiling hot pan with every step.

It’s not how Blackbeard would have handled traveling near this storm. But then, this is the Kraken. This is different, and how he feels-

He cuts off his own thought with an audible grumble and pushes it away.

--

“Israel Basilica Hands, you will eat,” Mother Teach shoves the bowl of oatmeal into his hands. “Your mother is going around taking bets on when you’ll die.“

“Let’s make sure we’re off by at least one day either direction then.”

“Edward! I wash my hands of him for now!”

“No, hey,” Izzy protests, but she only gives him a smirk.

“Izzy!” Ed thunders in the front door and has it sussed out in a heartbeat. “Not eating?”

“Not exactly.”

“Iz,” he drops onto Izzy’s lap, nearly onto the bowl. “I could be out making money right now, couldn’t I?”

“Making money,” Mother Teach scoffs. She’s well aware the two of them don’t work any sort of traditional job (how could they, with the rumor that Ed killed his father, and that if Izzy didn’t help, he at least knew), hates talking about the rich visitors they rob, but can’t ever manage to not comment on it.

She’s a proper mum, in that way. Different from his own, and while it drives Ed mad, it’s almost endearing to Izzy.

“If I start to eat, will you go back out to work?”

“Dunno. You’ll have to start eating, and we’ll see.” 

“Oh look,” Mother Teach shoves a bowl into Ed’s hands. “Where did this come from?”

“Mum, I can eat lat-”

If looks could kill, their faces would be melting off into their oatmeal.

“Thank you,” Ed smiles instead, but shakes his head as soon as she heads outside again. “You have to just eat when she gives you stuff. We can’t keep doing this and-”

He sits up, stares at the oatmeal, and then at Izzy. “You’re doing this so I wind up eating lunch with you, aren’t you?”

Izzy shrugs, and begrudgingly digs in. It isn’t that any of the food is ever bad, he just hates the idea of living when his mother wants him alive, or dying right as she wants him dead.

“Is nice to eat again. Not doing that well out there, today.”

“In other words, had you not been near enough to hear your mum call for you just now, you’d be running around still and not eating until dinner, right?”

Ed smirks, and shrugs, and digs in just before his mum leans in the doorway to check on them.

--

Frenchie takes the square plate from him. “I don’t mind taking it back with mine.”

“I can take my things back to the galley on my own,” Izzy reaches for his cane, and the plate again. “I’m a grown fucking man, for pity’s sake.”

“Yeah, who has a foot swollen like a fucking...” Fang studies Izzy’s foot. “Huh. Frenchie, we need fruits set up for comparison sizing, don’t we?”

“I mean, I’d put that about small coconut at least,” Frenchie says. “All the more reason to just let me walk all our fucking plates back at once!”

He puts his hand down, and settles back into his spot sat on the deck. “You make a good point. Thank you.”

“Sorry, what?”

“He won’t repeat it,” Fang says. “Just soak it in now. He gets easier to deal with when he’s sick. Well, in some ways. Other ways he gets worse.”

“I’d noticed.”

Izzy waits until Frenchie is out of earshot before turning to Fang. “You really think it’s that bad?”

“Your foot? I feel like if you have to ask, you already know the answer,” Fang replies. “But yeah. You gotta tell Ed.”

“Blackbeard is busy keeping us alive.”

“I didn’t say Blackbeard,” Fang insists. “That’s been more a title than anything else for years, hasn’t it?”

“The fuck is this all coming from?”

“Because if you die, what the fuck do you think eventually happens to the rest of us?” Fang hisses. “Stop being so fucking selfish, and tell him to find you help before that rots off and takes you with it!”

He can only blink, and nod. “Thank you, Fang. For your honesty.”

Fang shakes his head, but he does let out a short laugh. “You’re welcome. You’re fucking weird as ever, but you’re welcome.”

--

“We don’t have the money for it,” Izzy shakes his head, or he feels like he might be. Then again, the fever has him shaking randomly in general, so even if he hasn’t shaken it yet, he’ll get to it.

“I’m sorry, are either of you the head of this household?” Mother Teach snaps.

He can see the thought in Ed’s head. Technically, if they polled anyone else in town, they would unfortunately hand that title to Ed, not his mum.

In reality, she’s the adult and the one bringing in the most funds, and so it’s on her order that they wrap up as warmly as possible and head out together.

The nearest, better doctor is visiting a few miles away. If they go under cover of night, they’ll get there faster.

“If I die, just leave me out here,” Izzy mutters, shivering in Ed’s grasp as they stumble forwards over rock and root and occasional sand.

“I will do no such thing. You wouldn’t leave me out here.”

“Maybe I would.”

“You can’t fucking lie for shit,” Ed laughs. “Why do you even try?”

“Bad habit?”

Ed punches his side playfully out of habit, then winces. “I forgot! Fuck-”

“I’m okay,” Izzy grimaces. “Whatever is going wrong in there wasn’t going to suddenly start going right, with or without the extra punch.”

Ed giggles. “I could have helped kill you! Don’t make me laugh about that.”

“Well, now I’ve got to tell jokes the whole fucking way!”

“You’re terrible.”

“You’re wavy.”

“...you might need to sit down for a moment.”

They drop into a copse of trees, some felled and left to create a semi-covered pocket of leaves and branches to hide in.

Soon, they’ll be too old and too big to hide in spots like this. Well, Ed might get there, at least.

Izzy can accept, as he passes out there in Ed’s arms, that he might not.

--

“The crew has requested I bring it to your attention,” Izzy finishes quickly. “I regret I couldn’t take care of it myself.”

“Ew,” Ed stares at his foot. “Is that from...oh.”

He gulps. “If you cover that back up with your sock right now, I swear I’ll find us a port to stop at and get you looked over. You can afford it, right?”

“I’ve rings yet hoarded away I could sell,” Izzy nods.

“Good. Next port, we’ll find someone,” Ed shakes his head. “How did you let it get that bad, Iz? You’re my first mate; you’re supposed to know when to ask for help! How the fuck am I supposed to trust-”

He pauses. “Never mind. Go on about your work. I’ll update yourself and the crew on the new destination shortly.”

Izzy staggers back outside, grateful for his cane, yet pondering what he might get for it. He won’t sell the ring on the knot of his scarf, but aside from that one, he’s only a couple others left.

That might not be enough for whatever a surgeon will say needs doing on his foot.

“He said yes, right?” Fang asks, coming up beside him as he makes his way onto the deck.

“He did. So long as I can afford it, and I’ll make sure I can. Worry not.”

“I think we should still be worrying a little.”

“I think Ed will tell us if we need to worry or not.”

Fang’s eyes meet his, just for a second. “I think you just called him Ed instead of Kraken, or Blackbeard.”

He’s off in Frenchie’s direction before Izzy can say a word about it.

--

There’s a lot of the doctor’s visit he doesn’t remember.

But, if asked, he could recall how Ed had dragged him the rest of the way to the next village over (and yes, they were older teens, but it was dark and they were tired and no amount of youth makes it easier to drag one’s dying friend to help.)

He could talk about Ed getting in the surgeon’s face and insisting that he do something, anything, within reason.

The surgery itself is a mystery. Ed tells him later about a growth pulled from him and the warning that there could be a recurrence and that the same issues with his stomach would come up again and again as one of the few signs, and, and, and a thousand more horrifying things about his body.

What he remembers best is waking up at home, covered in the same quilt he and Ed had used to drag out to the beach as younger kids. After all, stargazing was only comfortable for so long on bare sand.

Mother Teach had never let him pay back any of it. Every time he’d slipped money somewhere she might find it later, it wound up back in his or Ed’s trouser pockets after they were cleaned.

He’d still be trying to pay her back today, if they hadn’t left.

--

“Okay, so do that then,” he hears Ed scoff. “Fine, you need more money? I have fucking money, more fucking money than you could dream of, and-”

He raises a hand to try and stop Ed, but Jim slaps it down.

“Just lay there and shush,” they hiss. “Do you know where you are?”

He peers around. It’s a room, but that’s probably not as much detail as Jim is wanting.

So he shrugs.

“Captain,” Jim stresses the word, and there’s a mush of images in his head that follow.

Mostly being carried elsewhere, then dosed with morphine, and potentially Frenchie nearly sitting on him? Why, he can’t possibly imagine.

“You look like shit,” Ed kneels by his cot, and Izzy waits for something. An order, or a complaint, or a reminder that after this is over, he needs to get his shit together.

But Ed just switches to sitting, head leaned against the edge of the cot.

--

“As if we would have let anything happen to you,” Ed scoffs, and an arm wraps around his waist. “As If I would have let anything happen to you.”

“It very nearly did regardless.”

“Well, it won’t happen again,” Ed continues and pulls him close. “We have a boat, which will lead us to where we’ll eventually steal our ship-”

“Is it ours if we haven’t stolen it yet?”

“Not with that attitude, it isn’t. Anyway, we steal our ship, and then we find our fortune. If you get sick ever again, after that, it won’t even be a worry. We’ll have money to just have a surgeon around, forever.”

“Ever ready to try and keep me alive for you?”

“And for yourself,” Ed smiles. “And to spite your mum.”

“I suppose the first and last are convincing enough,” Izzy sighs happily. “You tell your mum we’re leaving tonight?”

“Not yet. Waiting until just before we go.”

“Probably for the best. It’ll hurt no matter when or how we do this, won’t it?”

“Yeah. But it’ll be worth it.”

--

“I’ll make sure I’m worth it,” Izzy murmurs to Ed, sleeping hard, still leaned against his cot. “Every cent you have to pay for this. To keep me alive, again.”

There’s no response, but Ed’s hand flops up onto the cot, and scrabbles for a moment.

Then it clicks.

He places his hand into Ed’s, and the gloved fingers slow and curl around his.

[geoffpesos]

We are half the population of the entire world. We birth you. Choosing to not bother trying to understand us or meet us or communicate in any way is literally illogical. Larping as being above emotions is bypassing the human experience, and humans being a highly social species (who make decisions mostly based on emotion) who have only been able to thrive because of co-operation - is the biggest self L if you actually think about it, logically.

We are trying to help you even if it's not perfect. It takes two and sometimes it feels like you are trying to win a competition against us when we are on the same fucking team.

I can't believe I laid with a man who in the same ten minutes said women need to shut up and give us a a break and then told me how both his brothers beat the fuck out of him every day. Yeah sure your mum is fucking crazy but your dad isn't even here. And he beat the fuck out of you. And im not either of them so who really needs to give you a break? Because I'm right here and I've given you about 50 breaks and groomed you and decorated you and tolerated mind-warping clownery and recovered myself privately only to come back again and again.

Do you know what I did to my brother? I wasn't a perfect sister and was a little shit sometimes, id frame him for shit as a distraction to steal chocolate, or tell him the police would fly in through the window 20 stories up if he didnt go to sleep. But I'd also automatically cop shit everytime he did something bad just for existing as the older sibling, even though i was a fucking child as well?? Anyway for the most part i used to make him paper crowns or we would take turns pretending to be a dog because we always wanted a pet but could never have one because we had to travel back and forth all the time between our parents who loved but fucking hated each other and were so unhappy but wouldn't leave but of course it's not our fault. Is it? Stay together for the kids but it's never the kids fault right?

I'd tie his hair up in scrunchies and roll him around in a barbie car and push him on the janky yellow and green swing set in the front yard. We'd record fake radio shows on a tape recorder and sneak into each others bunk beds and hug each other and cry when our parents wouldn't stop yelling at us. Id be sent to look for him when he would inevitably get lost EVERY time we went to the supermarket. When I was old enough to look after him without our parents we would go into the city and sit on rooftops and eat entire pints of Ben and jerry's. When we were older he saw my tongue piercing before my parents did but he never dobbed me in. I'm crushed under the pressure or how much I know I'd do for him when I don't even have the capacity to do enough for myself.

I don't want to hear any more shit about women needing to give "us" a break. Bc who is "us"? You and the homies? You and the absent or abusive father? You and the people who keep you small? You and the people who see self-imposed suffering as a badge of honour that allows you to externalise your pain on to the "weaker" sex? You and who?

Think about who you align yourself with, think about why, and if you cant come to me correct, don't come at all. Just like me.

And think about why you care about that in the first place.

[dorefasolsido]

21.

Who in your family has been married the longest? (and how long?)

Oh I have no clue. I'm guessing my grandparents from mum's side before my grandpa passed away.

Do you have any Eastern European ancestry?

Yup, probably like 100%. I am Eastern European.

Where is your car parked right now?

I don't have my own car, but my dad's is probably in the garage right now.

When did you last travel alone? Where were you going?

Never travelled all alone, but I'm definitely planning to!

Do you take your shoes off when you come inside?

Duh. I'm usually surprised that some cultures don't do that.

What’s your favorite movie series?

Hmm idk.

How are you feeling today?

Sleepy as hell. I stayed up all night reading Youtube comments like an idiot and got about four hours of sleep in total. So I've been kind of dazed the whole day.

Look to the right - what’s the first thing you see?

My sliding door.

^^ What does that thing remind you of?

Hmm, once I wanted to trap my cousin in the kitchen, so I pushed the sliding door hard, but just at that moment he was coming out, so it smashed right into him. Luckily, he was fine and we just had a good laugh about it, but Jesus.

What was the first color you ever dyed your hair?

Purple.

What is something that’s considered a luxury, but you wouldn’t want to live without?

Food delivery is technically a luxury. And I could live without it, but it would be so much more inconvenient.

Do you want to move anytime soon?

Yes and no. I want to leave this country ASAP, but I also like the flat I have here and this whole roommate thing me and my sister have going on.

Did you have coffee this morning?

I never do.

How good/bad was the quality of education you received in high school?

I don't know, so-so. I think my school was more hyped up as the best in town than it actually was.

What was the most interesting year of your life, and why?

Hmm, maybe 2018. That was the year I graduated, and it was also one of the most social, exciting years of my life. That's also when my grandpa passed away, so it wasn't all good either.

What was the first social media site you ever used?

I'm not sure, but maybe it was Facebook. Or Youtube, which worked more like social media at the time.

Do you have any exes you really regret dating?

Nah, I don't regret relationships of any kind. I learned a lot about myself and other people even from the worst moments.

What brand of laundry detergent do you use?

I'd have to check and I don't feel like it.

Are you prone to mood swings?

Kind of, but they are very much internalized. Like, no one around me would be able to tell that this whole summer I oscillated between feeling miserable and being kind of okay.

Have you ever lied on a resume? Or even in a job interview?

Nah. I may have embellished things a bit when I was more inexperienced, but I've never outright lied.

Of all your friends & family, who has the most nicely-decorated home?

Tbh, although it's technically our house, my mum definitely has the best taste in interior design. Like, she's really amazing at it.

What was the last thing you bought, other than food?

Bus ticket to the city I'm visiting over the weekend.

Do you smoke? Or vape?

Nah.

What are you dreading right now?

Not totally dreading, but that team building event I have on Friday and Saturday. The reason I chose to work remote is so I don't have to interact with people. And yet, here we are.

What brought about the end of the worst relationship you’ve been in?

It all kind of blew up over something totally trivial, but it was because of so much bullshit that preceded it.

Where was the last place you spent the night other than your own home?

My friend's new flat. I stopped by to see it after a night out and then we just chilled until dawn. Then I walked home, since it's not too far from my flat.

Do you have any step- or half-siblings?

Nope.

Have you ever been catcalled?

Yup.

How old were you when you started scheduling your own doctors appointments?

I don't know, and I also don't remember the last time I did.

Have you ever driven across an international border?

I haven't on my own.

When was the last time you spoke to a neighbor?

We usually only exchange hi's when we see each other in the hallway.

Is your best friend male or female?

Female.

When was the last time you washed your bed sheets?

About two weeks ago.

What do people always seem to think is weird about you?

I don't know, I feel like there must be plenty, but it's difficult to say what exactly.

Ever notice how high schools in movies/tv shows are portrayed way differently than in real life?

I mean, sure, but almost everything is. And I'd never watch a TV show that depicted realistic high school. That would be so boring, and I already went through it and have zero desire to revisit, thank you very much.

Do you ever braid your hair?

I used to sometimes, but now I cut it a bit too short for that.

What food sounds the most appetizing right now?

I ate just earlier.

[theghostus]

2023

What's up 2023! Also an update from my last post.

That Sat Le Bf wasn't working. He wasn't even replying to my messages, Only told me late at night after I sent him an emotional message that he went out shopping with his aunt threatening to fuck this. He immediately replied (not all, of course) that he will message me tmr. His message was to tell me that we will be having dinner with his BFF and fam. I mean really. He told me he doesn't have money and doesn't want to meet. Sigh. Thinking about this pisses me off.

We met his BFF and fam. His two daughters are cute. The younger one is a little out of control, but they're the parents. They can handle them. I'm the sort of a slow burner with big and little people. I see how they behave and what they're like before I act accordingly. Thankfully they live nearby. Gave them a Xmas present in the form of a bath soap and handwash courtesy of my mum's bingo and award prizes. Le Bf bought his aunt a pair of gold earrings with one of 8 credit cards. I'm thinking of pushing him one last time to cancel 5 of them. Overall was okay. The little monsters were their parents' problem, after all.

Yesterday, my mum and I finally went to Bro's pl. The journey takes 2 buses to reach plus a 15min walk. Their pl is small compared to mine. However, they are cosier and more fun as they have 2 cats. I plan to make a weekly trip there to make friends with the shy cats. Also, le bf is working about 30 mins away from there; it's killing 2 birds with one stone.

I'm on edge whenever I bring mum out, especially around ppl. I can't let my guard down. It's hard, especially when I don't have a job yet. The migraine and the breathlessness are real. The last time I was breathless was when I was at a job where no one was there to help me about 8 years ago. Yesterday my breathlessness was tough as I could feel a sharp pain each time I tried to breathe in. I discovered this wherever I spent about 200 at the mall. Damn you CNY sale.

All I want in a job is to suit my personality or keep me happy enough to stay.

My aunt still hasn't come through. Instead of keeping me updated, she stayed radio silent till I asked. She is pending for my next follow-up on Tues. I'm sure she has a ton of excuses, and all of them are not her fault. Looks like she going to get a monthly follow-up. I need the money to fix up my kitchen. My house looks so fucking empty and lacks the warmth that a home should have. I really want a proper sofa.

Just so damn tired; everything hasn't settled.

Side plot: for CNY, I feel le bf doesn't want me to meet his family. By me meeting his family, he is stating a commitment and telling the family he will have to change religion (yeah, we're an inter-racial 'couple'). He thinks I've forgotten. Time and time again, I've proven to him I DON'T forget. This 14 Jan will be the last time I probably meet and contact him (it's so hard, so so hard not to). Again, I'm not sure if I want that much commitment to him.

This brings me to another social influencer/branding marketer; his relationship. He's gay and born to a Malay Muslim family. He's the eldest of 5 siblings and literally helped his mum put himself and his siblings through school while his dad was in prison. His family is accepting of his orientation and relationship with a Chinese man. They even bought a house together. His partner even met his family. Even his father, who was released from prison last year, met him. The difference is his partner's family doesn't know him (maybe some do) and even his orientation (maybe not all) as he looks like a typical straight guy. His fans have seen his partner on his live Tiktocks while vacationing in Bangkok. So I think Le Bf will keep me away from his family, much like the above scenario. But is that a bad thing, though?

I want to do typical couple things yet keep it lowkey.

8/1/23

[finelinevogue]

Obsessed with your imagines you so when they have 3 kids and they’re all older! What about one where Harry has to have a sex talk with his kids OR y/n and Harry come home to find their kids throwing a party? I think both could be super funny

this has me excited cause i love the idea of them throwing a party when y/n and harry are at date night!! (does contain smut)

oli - 21, felix - 19, belle - 16

“We’re so fucking screwed.”

“Belle, for the millionth time, chill the fuck out.”

But how the fuck was anyone supposed to be chill when there was a full-on house party, close to being a rave, occurring in their house? A house that was their mum’s life work. A house party that their parents new nothing about. A night where absolutely anything and everything could go wrong.

The three siblings stood at the bottom of the stairs, in front of the door, looking around at the scenes occurring between each room. There were girls whispering to each other on the sofas, there was a group of guys playing beer pong in the kitchen and there was a large group of people hanging around by the pool and some even taking a dip. What had meant to be a low-key party had managed to turn into the whole neighbourhood plus the next town over. It was completely overboard.

“Who’s idea was this again?” Belle asked, clearly not understanding the full reasoning behind a full fledged party in their house.

“All of ours.” Oli responded, when in reality it was really just his, and a bit of Felix, idea.

“Nope. I’m not getting grounded because you two dickheads wanted to be rebels.” Belle put her hands up as if to stop this whole situation. She did not want to be a part of this and yet had somehow got screwed up with it all.

“So what are you going to do?” Felix asked.

“Anywhere where this doesn’t have my name stamped all over it.” Belle gestured around her, all of them groaning when they heard something smash from a nearby room. They were actually going to be locked up forever after this.

“Belle, mum and dad are out for the night. Dad said he booked a hotel for them to stay over at, so they won’t even be back until tomorrow morning.” Oli explained, trying to calm down his very nervous sister.

“Yeah, plus if you’re so insistent on leaving why did you get so dressed up?” Felix did have a point. Belle had gone through the effort tonight to be looking as best she could. She was sporting a little black dress with black fishnet tights and her trusty Doc Martens. It was a very colourful outfit, as she would explain. Belle had even gone to the effort of adding glue-on gems to her makeup. Whereas her brothers were just wearing sweaters and trousers and trainers. Typical teenage boys.

“I’ll bet that’s why.” Oli nodded behind Belle and smirked as he watched his little sister turn around.

Megan Dover. Belle’s high school crush and cleverest person in the year. Felix and Oli caught Belle blush when their little sister looked at Megan, waving to her cutely. Belle was a lot more introverted than Megan, but Belle didn’t mind. She admired that Megan was so outspoken and kind and smart, but too bad they didn’t truly know of Belle’s existence. At least, not really.

“Alright fine, i’ll stay, but just don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Belle rolled her eyes and then walked off in the direction of the kitchen - if she was ever going to speak to Megan she’d need at least 4 shots in her system.

“Be safe little B.” Oli waved her off and then the two brothers looked at each other knowingly. “Is Heather here?”

“Not yet no, think she’s coming with the girls in a bit.” Felix checked his phone as his brother questioned him. “What about Bea?”

“She’s upstairs.”

“Why? I thought we weren’t allowing anyone upstairs?”

“Dude she’s my girlfriend, I think she gets a pass.” Oli patted his brothers back and then saunters up the stairs two at a time to go and find his girlfriend and reintroduce her to the party.

Another smash of something glass sounding came from the kitchen, along with a turn of screams and mumbles of oops.

“Fuck, we are so screwed.” Felix muttered under his breath as he made his way to the kitchen to clean up whatever was now broken.

••••

Meanwhile, you and Harry were basking in each other’s presence at a fancy new restaurant downtown called Caste Inn.

Harry decided it was time for you to have a treat and so was taking you out for dinner and then retreating to a fancy hotel, where he would not let you rest for the whole night. He was already being really handsy this evening, but you kept swatting his prying hands away because you were in public.

“Babe, c’mon i’m dying here!” He whined as you swatted his hand away from the skirt of your dress for the fifth time since mains. You were lucky you were in a crescent shaped booth so it was hard for anyone to see what was going on underneath the table, but you still felt so exposed.

“Quit it Harry.” You sniped, returning your attention back to the desserts menu. The restaurant was that kind of place where the portions are sparrow sized and yet cost you as much as it would to donate a kidney, so there was no surprise that you were still hungry and had room for dessert.

“Just wanna love on my wife.” He pouted next to you, keeping his arm slunk around the back of the booth to continue to caress your far shoulder delicately.

“We’re in the middle of a restaurant, you’re crazy.” You snickered, trying your hardest to focus on the desserts; Tiramisu, Chocolate Orange Gateau, Pecan Pie, Creme Brulé and an endless list of more mouthwatering yumminess.

“Fucking crazy for you, yes.” He kissed your cheek once, twice and then bit it too on the third, making you moan slightly at the exposure of it all. “You used to let me do this kind of thing all the time, what happened hey?”

“I got old.” You laughed, but really you felt saddened by the thought of it. You were approaching your forties and you felt as though time wasn’t on your side anymore. Life was all flying by so fast and it was becoming so hard to stop it for a moment to see how beautiful it all is. Harry could tell you were faking your happiness in that moment and he hated that you felt this way. He loved you. He would worship the ground you walk upon. Nothing would ever be too much of an ask for him if it meant keeping your happy. Yes, you were getting older, but it didn’t mean that was a bad thing. At least you were getting older together and becoming maturer together.

“Talk to me, love.” He gently asked, knowing there was something on your mind that was bothering you.

“I just… I just feel like i’m getting older—”

“You are love, yes.” He interrupted you, which earned him a slap to the thigh. He didn’t let your hand go though, leaving it to rest on his tight thigh.

“And then suddenly that’s going to be it. No more Y/N.”

“Don’t say things like that to me, please love.” Harry shook his head, squeezing your hand a little tighter.

“And I feel like i’ll have regretted not doing so many things. Like I won’t have lived my life.”

“Things like?”

“Things like riding a motorcycle with you. Things like staying up all night with a bottle of wine and a good bit of Elvis. Reckless things, like skinny dipping or crashing a high school party. Things like, having my husband finger fuck me in a public restaurant. I remember when everything seemed so free and chaotic and I loved it. Now I feel stuck.”

“Stuck how, love?” Harry leaned in closer to you, his eyes full of love and determination because if that’s what you wanted he could give you all those things - especially the orgasm.

“I’m a mum, H. You’re a dad. We’re parents,m. Good ones at that. Aren’t we supposed to be grown up and responsible now? We don’t get to take risks anymore, because we have a family right? God, I sound so pathetic.” You sighed and put the menu down, not thinking about which pudding you wanted to fill yourself up with anymore.

“Babe. If you want to ride a motorcycle and go skinny dipping then let’s fucking do it. Why are you so afraid to hold back? Because we have kids, because darling believe me when I tell you - however much it disturbs me - our kids are out doing just as many reckless and crazy things as we used to do. Maybe we should fuck the prestigious system and show our children, all parents - including us - that adulthood, parenthood, doesn’t define the choices you make. We do.”

You couldn’t stop looking at your husband, drinking in every last drop of his beauty. His words filled your heart with rose petals and chocolates, warming you up delightfully. God, you were so lucky to have him. He helped you through the most toughest of times and continued to stick with you, not because a ring says he has to, but because he loves you. Undeniably and irrevocably loves you.

That was all it took for you to comply.

Quickly, you moved one of your legs under the table cloth so it draped over Harry’s thighs and made an opening between your legs. The cloth hid everything well, along with the dirty napkins that sat upon your laps.

“Wh- what are you doing love?” Harry asked confused, after not hearing a word back from you for his earlier speech.

“Harry I love you, I do, but will you just shut up and fuck my pussy with your fingers already.” You whispered wetly against his ear with your lips. He groaned at the words and tightened his grip around your leg, widening the gap he had to work with.

His hand slid underneath your dress slowly, squeezing the flesh of your thighs in tease, until he got to where your panties were. Or at least where they should be.

“Shit, you’re not wearing any pants?” Harry asked quizzically, pushing his fingers against your glistening pussy and feeling just how ready you were for him.

“Oh fuck!” You muffled out before Harry quickly slapped your slit because you were making too much noise, which only then made you squeal a bit more. He slapped your cunt hard enough the second time for you to get the memo that you needed to be quiet - but fuck was that a challenge. As much as you can be quiet, you just don’t like to be. You like knowing that your moans and whines turn Harry in even more, just as much as you love hearing his.

“Fucking hell, soaked already.” His fingers toyed with the folds of your cunt, feeling how puffy they were between his ringed fingers. “Gotta be quiet for me okay?” Just as he started pushing his delicious fingers inside of you, the waiter turned up at the table with a cheery face and not a bouncing clue what was happening between the two of you.

“Desserts?” He asked politely with his charming smile, but you didn’t see it for too long before having to close your eyes shut at the sudden movement of Harrys fingers. He wasn’t stopping on the waiters behalf, in fact he was more forcefully going for it. He moved his fingers in circles inside of you, thumbing over your clit in the way he knew you desired most. He was insatiable.

Reckless.

“No, just the bill please. Need to take my wife home to take care of some things.” Harry spoke for you both, not understanding why he was being so open with the amount of information he was giving away. But fucking hell you didn’t care because his fingers were providing you pleasures beyond reason.

“Yes Sir. I’ll only be two minutes.” He smiled again before he was gone, taking the menus with him.

“Here that baby?” Harry whispered into your ear, moving his fingers more freely now there was less of an audience, “you’ve got two minutes to cum.”

“Wha—”

Questioning his authority would have to wait, for Harry got to work very quickly and perfectly. His fingers slicked in and out of you so erotically and if it wasn’t for the live music and loud chatter of the room, the sounds of his fingers driving in and out of you would be heard by everyone. His fingers curled to all the right places, touching the most sensitive parts of your walls and hell did it feel blissful.

“I’d say you’ve got about a minute left baby, and I think you can cum for me before then. Can’t you? Or am I not good enough for that kind of release anymore?” Harry taunted you and pressed wet kisses to your ear. You were too lost in euphoric paradise to notice, or even care, whether anyone could see or was watching you both. You were too focused on your husband. Your Harry.

“N-no. I can cum. You’re so good - shit - so g-good.” You stammered out, breathless from the air stolen from your lungs because of this erotic moment. This was so bad behaved of you both that you were starting to get a high off of it.

“Cum for me then baby. Do it. I’ve got you.” He kissed your lips to capture the moan that trailed off your tongue as you reached your high. You felt so high and yet so safe. Harry steadied you as your legs shook and kissed you senseless, to quieten your whines. He admired that you had been so willing for this and he would be lying if he said he didn’t have a raging hard-on right now.

“I love you,” you raced out quickly, “I love you.”

“I love you, Y/N.” He kissed your lips again and withdrew his fingers from your dripping cunt. You picked up a napkin but he quite quickly took it away from you, throwing it to the other side of the table.

“What are you doing?” You whisper shouted, needing to clean yourself up.

“More like what are you doing?”

“Cleaning my mess.” You said frustratedly.

“Leave that to me.” He spoke whilst holding intense eye contact with you, bringing his fingers that were coated in your arousal to his lips and sucking them dry. Every last drop worked its way into his mouth and he salivated at the taste - the smell.

“Harry—”

“The bill Sir.” The waiter interrupted you without knowing. Harry took out his wallet and used his card on the card machine, before signing his name on the cheque as if to affirm that he has paid.

“Thank you.” Harry spoke kindly, completely different to how he was with you all but two minutes ago.

“Thank you Sir, Ma’am. Have a lovely rest of your evening.” And he wad gone again with his smile.

Harry turned to you with the largest grin on his face, “Oh we will.”

••••

“Oli stop eating the leftover lasagne it’s for mums lunch!”

Belle was rushing around trying to chill everything down. The party was so out of control that even Oli and Felix were wasted. Megan was blowing hot and cold with her too, so she had no idea where she stood with them.

People were everywhere. Too many people that it was becoming claustrophobic. Felix was currently playing beer pong with a group of his friends, Heather attached at his hip, whilst Oli was sitting on the kitchen countertop eating cold lasagne. The boy was like chuffing Garfield. Belle was doing her best to keep calm, but as the night progressed it started to become worse and worse as it got harder to control.

As Belle turned to leave the kitchen, her brother clearly not listening to her, she bumped into someone. Kyle. Fucking Kyle. The guy who had obsessed over her to the point where Harry was seriously considering getting a restraining order on him to protect his daughter. He was a straight A creep and Belle hadn’t even realised he’d been invited to this party. Then again, over half of these people had most definitely not been invited.

“Oh hey Isabelle.” He stressed her whole name, knowing how much she hated it. Well, she didn’t hate her name she just hated him saying her name.

“Go away Kyle.”

“But I just got here.”

“And now you can just leave. Party’s ending anyways.” Belle stood her ground, but her hands were shaking from being even remotely close to this guy. He was disgusting to the point where if you were stuck between having to choose between being with him or eating mouldy cheese, you’d eat the cheese on a fucking silver platter.

“Looks quite alive to me.”

“Well i’m shutting it down and you’re going to leave. Now.”

“You need to liven up Belle.” Kyle chuckled through his nose, making him look scary as he towered over Belle, “let me help you.” He leaned forwards to grab her arm but she was quick to push him away.

“No! Leave me alone!” Belle shouted, trying to dodge around him but he was quicker. He grabbed her arm tight and pulled her back to him, chest touching chest. “Get off me Kyle.” Belle squirmed in his hold, which only made Kyle happier - the creep.

“C’mon Bella, live a little.”

“My name’s not Bella and I told you to get the fuck off of me.” Belle pulled back with all her might, whilst kicking him square in the balls - probably hard enough so he’ll never be able to have children - and then drove her knee up to crack his nose - successfully. Damn, that felt good. Heavily badass, actually.

“You fucking psycho!” Kyle held his nose and his balls in pain, straightening himself up as if to launch himself with fury at Belle. Luckily for her the outburst between the pair had caught attention of people - including Oli and Felix.

Oli was quick to step in front of Kyle, Felix just behind him. “You dare lay a fucking finger on my sister and I swear to you you’ll regret it.” Oli threatened, fists curled tight at his sides.

Heather came to hug Belle, comforting as she cried through the after shock of the situation. She’d been so brave and handled herself so well though. “You okay?” She kindly asked.

“Y-yeah.” No.

Everyone was now watching. The music had been muted to the point where you could tell it was playing but you couldn’t tell which song it was. Friends of Oli and Felix were standing close by in case things got messy, which normally only happened between the two brothers and not this way. Doors could be heard opening and shutting as people came in and out from places to watch the debacle occur between the hosts of the party and the unwelcome visitor. Oli and Felix knew they had to be careful though, because one wrong video and it could badly effect their dad’s career. Belle shook in Heathers arms and wished this nightmare of an evening to be over.

“Oh the whore’s not worth it anyways.” Kyle laughed, rolling his eyes as he pointed towards Belle.

“The fuck did you just call my daughter?”

Oh fucking shit balls.

“Dad?” Belle asked warily, seeing his dad stood in the doorway of the front door, her mum standing close behind him with her hand tightly clutched to his. As much as Belle was terrified that her parents had busted them, she also felt safe in their presence.

“Oh and here comes perfect-dad-of-the-year Harry Styles to the rescue.” Kyle teased which made Felix move forward in protest of his words.

“Fix.” Harry sternly called his name, making his son stop and look towards his dad who was shaking his head with a soft smile. Harry walked over towards Belle first, you still clutched tightly to him. “You alright?” He asked sincerely, not looking cross or disappointed at all. Belle nodded quickly and kept her head pressed to Heather’s chest. Harry turned to see his boys, raising his eyebrows to wordlessly ask them the same question to which they nodded too.

Harry dropped your hand, leaving you to stand with your sons, and left your forehead with a kiss before making his way to Kyle. “You okay boys?” You asked again, even though you knew Harry just asked.

“Yeah. Are you mum?” Oli asked, coming to wrap his arm around his mums neck to comfort her. He was so kind and thoughtful, just like his dad.

“Listen up, Kyle.” Harry started, keeping a good distance between him and the boy, “If you ever come near my family again i’m ordering a restraining order. That’s not a threat, it’s a promise. If you break that order you’ll be going to jail. Big league jail too. Again not a threat, a promise. So you’re going to leave my house, this property in its’ entirety and go home to sit in your room and think about whether you would prefer to be in a prison cell instead. Do you understand?”

Okay, you’d be lying if you said his authority didn’t turn you on.

“Y-yeah.” Kyle mumbled pathetically.

“I said do you understand?” Harry repeated again, clearly not satisfied with the answer given.

“Yes Mr Styles.” Kyle said more surely, before scramming from the house, from the party and from the neighbourhood.

“Now everyone out of my house before I call the police.” Everyone knew how that was not an empty threat and dashed out of his house. Some looked at him in awe, because this was probably their once and only chance of being in the presence of the Harry Styles. He sighed as he walked to the kitchen, leaning against the kitchen counter to think.

“Should we—” Belle started to talk but you cut her off.

“No, hunny. Let me go talk to your dad. You lot,” referring to your children and girlfriends who’d kindly stayed behind in support, “can go fetch some bin liners and start cleaning this all up.” You pointed around to the mess that was your house, before walking off to the kitchen.

You looked around at the mess. A broken vase. Litter everywhere. Half-drunken drinks left on the table. Bottle openers you definitely didn’t own before tonight. Trousers? You couldn’t help but giggle at the surrounding sight.

“What’s got you laughing?” Harry asked, still in his fancy shoes and fancy coat, you still in your fancy heels and your fancy coat. Yet, you were both standing in what looks like a garbage dump site. Harry moved his hand away from his face and looked at you with a blank expression.

“You were right!” You laughed.

“Your reaction as if that’s a bloody miracle, love, which kind of an ego crush, but continue.” He rolled his eyes and you rolled yours in response. You clicked your way over to him and wrapped your arms around his waist, he kept his wrapped around his own obviously still closing himself off.

“Our kids are being reckless and crazy.” You recalled dinners earlier conversation, smiling up at him in admiration.

“I didn’t actually mean it, it was just a quick way to make you feel better.” He groaned in frustration.

“Well gee thanks babe!” You laughed at the whole irony of this situation. “Harry, babe, look at me,” you had to used your hand to turn his cheek to face you, stroking his cheek to calm him, “adulthood - parenthood - doesn’t define the choices we have to make. We do. And our children, apart from that last little bit, seemed like they had the most freeing and most brilliant night yet! Let them be reckless H. Let them make mistakes. Just because this happened doesn’t make us bad parents, and it doesn’t make us bad parents if we decide no punishment—”

“Ha like that’s going to happen!” Harry cut you off and you glared at him to just shut up.

“Just shut up, you oaf. Let the kids live while they’re young.”

“You did not just reference one of my songs.” Harry looked to the ceiling as he smiled widely, before shortly laughing at how cheesy that was. “Oh my god Y/N!”

“What? Was is that bad?”

“Yes, babe. Yeah it really was.” He looked back down at you to see you smiling and he couldn’t help but cup your cheeks and kiss you silly. His perfect lips fit yours and you tasted him until you couldn’t breathe. “I love you.”

“I love you. Now go help clean up.” You ordered him, making him look at you confused.

“What the hell have I done to deserve this?”

“You booked the hotel for next weekend instead of this weekend you div. Now go.” You smacked his backside and he strolled back over to you and pushed you into the counter. You gasped at the sudden motion.

“Do that again and let’s see what happens.” He whispered dangerously against your lips.

“Go clean up and then see what’s waiting in our bedroom.” You bit your lip and tugged Harry’s hand to under your dress, giving him only a slight feel of how wet you were before letting his hand go and walking away.

“Kids, hand me a bloody bin bag. Now!”

[talesofstyles]

Good Morning Indeed

absolutely no plot whatsoever, just a bit of husband and dad harry in the midst of the family’s morning chaos 😂

Harry

“Go get the condom on.”

“I’ll pull out, I promise.”

“Your pull out game is weak.”

“Oi, them’s fightin’ words.”

“There’s a reason we’ve got six kids.” Says the missus with a roll of those pretty—but sometimes deadly (please don’t tell her I said this)—eyes. “‘Sides, I’ve just changed the sheets yesterday. You are not coming on the sodding sheets.”

“Fine,” I sigh and reach down to the bedside table. Why is the drawer filled with sodding Duplo and those tiny, pricey Sylvanian Family bunnies? I’m guessing kid number two, three and four have something to do with that. A few more seconds of rummaging before I finally found my treasure in the very back of the drawer. I lay on my back as I sheath myself up, and seeing as I’m already here… might as well, right? I smirk at her as I say, “hop on then.”

“Fat chance that,” she mutters. “Do I have to take off my top?”

“Nah,” I shake my head, it’s cold, and I’m a considerate husband. “A flash will do. Just give me a visual.”

She rolls up my shirt that she wears to sleep, a really old white rolling stones t-shirt that has two holes and a loose thread hanging on for dear life from the hem. She looks homeless. Gorgeous homeless though. 

“Nice,” I flash her a boyish grin, like a teenage boy seeing his first pair of tits. “You’ve got great racks.”

“You’re just saying that…”

I know what she sees when she looks at herself in the mirror and I wish she could look at herself through my eyes. 

“Hey, don’t you dare. My babies grew in that body, that’s everything.”

Her tender smile hits me right in the gut. “I love you.”

“Love me enough to ride me?” I say with a playful flick to one nipple.

“Nice try.”

“I love you,” I mutter near her mouth and give her a searing kiss. I run my tongue over her bottom lip, then I kiss her down her neck, her cleavage and her breasts. I slowly circle one nipple, and she giggles, knowing it’s a well-rehearsed move that is guaranteed to do what’s needed. See, her tits are kind of like start buttons. No matter the situation, a little attention to those bad boys switches things around real quick. Her head slams back against the pillow. And she moans, holding my head in place.

We’ve got ignition lads. 

I nestle my body on top of hers, and there’s a bit of wayward angling and poking until I find my way inside of her. And then it’s on. Two bodies writhing on the bed. My hips rotate in long, slow circles.

“Bollocks!”

“What? The condom isn’t broken, is it?”

“No, it’s bin day. I forgot to take out the recycling bin.”

“S’fine, we’ve got time before the school run.”

The bin’s sorted, back to the shag…

I slide my hands under her, bringing us closer. Rocking us faster. My forehead hovers close to hers and I open my eyes so I can watch. What can I say? I’m greedy like that. I want to soak up every gasp, every flicker of pleasure across her face. Pleasure I’m giving her.

Her breathing changes. It turns panting and desperate, and I know she’s close. I move harder, grinding against her, inside her, with every forward push. Warms sparks tickle my spine and heat spreads down until every nerve in my body is shaking. I slam inside her, burying deep as her hips jerk upward. She spasms hard around me, gripping me tight. 

I rock back my hips and pull almost all the way out, but then I freeze. Because a dreaded sound echoes across the room, grabbing our full attention. It’s coming from the baby monitor. It’s a rustling, the sound of cotton rubbing cotton. Like snipers in the jungle, we don’t move a muscle. We don’t say a word. We wait, until the rustling stops. And all is quiet again. 

Too bad it’s not for long. Because two thrusts in, a light comes on in the landing. Followed by small footsteps heading down the stairs. Shit.

“Harry, just come already. They’ll all be up soon.”

“I’m close… don’t rush it, you’re scaring it away.” 

She grinds her hips. Also another well-rehearsed move that she knows will get me off. But I freeze again, because there’s a second set of footsteps and the sound of a toilet flushing. Oh, and the babies next door are starting to whimper. 

Great.

“I’M HUNGRY!” That’s James, darling little cockblocker number four who likes to be fed on time. He’s three.

“WE’LL BE OUT IN A SECOND!” My wife shouts over my shoulder. “Harry for the love of god-”

I pick up the rhythm. Small beads of sweat form on my brow. She grinds her hips again, and I try to focus. “Just like that, fuck, keep doing that.”

“Sshh, keep your voice down.”

“IS THERE ANY BREAD THAT ISN’T 50/50?” That’s Eleanor, child number two. She’s seven, and she’s one of those children who seem to possess a discernible palate that knows when we’ve changed brands of baked beans or attempt to bring sugar-free fruit squash through the doors.

“IT’S THE SAME,” I reply.

“NO, IT’S NOT. DO WE HAVE OTHER FOOD?”

“THERE ARE SHREDDIES.”

“DON’T LIKE ‘EM.”

“PORRIDGE.”

“I’M NOT A BEAR!”

Honestly, seven-year-olds gunning for a fight this early in the morning can go do one.

The babies are starting to gather volume next door so I try to focus again. It only takes a few more thrusts before ecstasy wrecks my body, making me shudder. I press my lips against her neck as I come back down to earth. But I don’t move yet. I know we should get going because things are already chaotic outside our door, but I just don’t have the will yet. I’m considering going back to sleep for a minute or two. She won’t mind, will she? Well, I’m wrong. Because she proceeds to perform the move that seems to amuse every sodding woman on earth. And causes every man to squeal like a bloody pig. Without warning, she uses her powerful muscle to squeeze my extremely sensitive cock. 

Girls, grab a piece of paper and write this down. I’m speaking on behalf of every man to walk on earth here; we hate that. We don’t think it’s funny.

I jerk back, pull out, and roll off her. I try to look annoyed as she giggles, and obviously I fail, because that freshly fucked, flushed-face makes it impossible not to grin back.

“CAN I HAVE JAFFA CAKE?” That’s Victoria, child number three. She’s five, and she’s yelling as she thunders up the stairs. 

“JAFFA CAKE ISN’T BREAKFAST,” my wife shouts back as she sits up and hands me a nappy sack. “Harry…”

I wrap up the condom with it and toss it to the bin. “You’ve just taken me life force, woman, give me a moment.”

“CUSTARD CREAM?”

“NO.” We shout in unison. 

“HOBNOB THEN?”

“STAY AWAY FROM THE BISCUIT TIN!”

“You want to wrestle a biscuit-hunting kid out of a cupboard and 50/50 bread drama or fussy babies with full nappies?”

“Babies.” I hear a small child get whacked by a sibling downstairs and I feel like I may have got the better deal here.

Next door, the twins are not happy. They’re six months old now, and they’re both teething. Thing one glares at me as I walk into their nursery and thing two stares at me stroppily from the corner of her cot. Their cheeks are scarlet, and thing one proceeds to bark at me like a seal. I pick his warm, sleepy, cuddly body and cradle it close to mine as I lay him down on the changing table. I smell the dampness. It’s definitely wee. He’s soaked through, I think I didn’t tuck his willy in when I last changed him around three in the morning so it sprayed in some upward motion and drenched his clothes. See, this is why girls are better than boys. There’s no way they can pee upwards. 

After I put a fresh nappy and a change of clothes, I put him down on the rug so he can wiggle around while I grab his sister and sort her out. After six kids, I’m definitely a pro with baby duty and can practically change their clothes one-handed. The whole thing takes only a few minutes.

I cuddle the babies on each side as I walk downstairs and into the kitchen. They immediately reach out to their mum who’s cracking some eggs as soon as they spot her, knowing she’s the only one who can cure their hunger this morning. 

“Uniforms!” She says to the big kids as she takes one baby into her arms. “We’ll do breakfast after. Please, please, please…”

Desperate pleas lead them to saunter out and up the stairs. I follow my wife into the living room and hand her the other baby as she plops down on the couch. She rolls up her shirt and the babies latch instantly. Tandem nursing is harder now that they’re a little older and aware of their surroundings. They’re trying to scratch each other’s faces as they nurse. “Oi, what’s this? You each get a tit, stop fighting.”

They seem to somehow listen to me and have stopped trying to poke each other’s eyeballs. We’ll see how long that lasts. “Finish the eggs?”

I nod. “I’m on it.”

I brew some coffee, finish the scrambled eggs, and pop the slices after slices of bread in the toaster. Breakfast is done just in time as my wife walks back into the kitchen with two full and happy babies. She puts them in their high chairs and I scoop a bit of eggs on each of their trays for them to nibble on.

George appears back in the kitchen clad in his uniform with his also dressed brother trailing behind. We always lay his clothes the night before on his bed and he gets dressed all by himself in the morning. And he’s getting better at it, seeing he only missed a button on his shirt.

“Hi mate,” I say as I fix his button and he flashes a toothy grin at me. I plop him down on the chair, he’s graduated from the high chair now but still uses a booster seat.

“No toast!”

“What do you want then?”

“Chee-yos?”

I nod before I grab a handful of cheerios and set them on his plate next to his eggs. Then I take a few steps back across the table. “Hey, James, set it up.”

He flashes me another toothy grin before he opens his mouth wide and keeps it open. I hold a single Cheerio between my fingers while I bend my knees and bounce my hand as if I were dribbling a basketball. “Three seconds left on the clock, down by one. Styles got the ball. He fakes left, he drives in, he shoots…”

I toss the Cheerios in a high arc. It lands right into his mouth.

“He scores! The crowd goes wild!”

James holds both hands over his head. “Core!”

“Viv stole the biscuit tin, you know? She ate three jammie dodgers upstairs.” Eleanor says as she walks in with book bags and school shoes. 

George, seeing his sister walks in, proceeds to open his mouth wide and flashes her the half-chewed eggs on his tongue. It’s his current thing and it annoys his sisters to death. The young’uns think differently though as they double over in laughter. 

“Eeewww!” She shrieks. “You’re so gross!”

“VICTORIA, PUT THAT BISCUIT TIN DOWN AND GET YOUR BUTT IN THE KITCHEN! AND GO GET THEM HAIR TIE THINGIES…” 

“I didn’t have any biscuits!” She yells and runs down the stairs.

This kid is the quintessential daddy’s girl. She climbs up onto my lap right away, handing me the brush and a hair tie. 

“See, poppet, I would’ve believed you if you didn’t leave evidence all over your face,” I arch one of my eyebrows as I sweep a speck of raspberry jam on the corner of her mouth. 

“You always do a ponytail,” she huffs.

“Either that or I give you a bowl cut with kitchen scissors. I reckon that fruit bowl will do. Your choice.”

“Can I have some more eggs?” George asks with his mouth full of his last bite.

“God, that’s like your third serving,” Eleanor grumbles.

“Nag.”

At that insult, Eleanor flings a piece of toast like a ninja. Before George can retaliate, my wife gives them both the look.

“Viv, will you at least have some eggs?”

“No.”

“Fine,” my wife sighs. “I’m gonna get changed then.”

I glance at the clock and, well, shit, I should get dressed too. “Can you lot watch the babies and try not to kill each other for the next five minutes?”

“Five quid each?” Eleanor tries to negotiate. “Babysitting isn’t supposed to be free, you know? That sounds like child labour to me.” 

Bollocks. 

“Two quid each,” I give her my dad look that says the offer is final and indisputable.

“Deal.”

[watchmegetobsessed]

Waiting for you - Harry Styles

❄️ FANFICmas 2020 ❄️

Read more about FANFICmas here!

i wrote it over like a month ago, but kept it for today, i hope yall will like it! it’s a cute bestfriends to lovers fic, so yeah... happy holidays, hope you are having an amazing time!

word count: 13k

masterlist

Harry Styles has been a household name around your home, but not for the reason many would think. While for the rest of the world he was the famous singer, former member of One Direction and recent solo artist, the guy who performs at the biggest arenas, wins awards and sings his heart out through the radio, for you and your mom he was the goofy, curly haired boy who lived across the street with his mum, sister and stepdad.

You still remember all too clear the first time you met him. You and your mum just moved into your new home after the nasty divorce of your parents, ready to start a new life. You’ve barely turned twelve, it was quite the awkward stage of your teenage years, you were still trying to find yourself on the rocky road of growing up. Moving to a whole new town and switching schools were terrifying and you had quite a few nightmares about possible outcomes of being the new girl in the neighborhood.

You and your mum just finished unpacking the dishes in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. She rushed to answer it and you wandered behind her, curiously peeking at the guests under her arm as she held the door open.

“Hi! We saw the trucks and thought we would say hi! I’m Anne and this is my son, Harry,” the nice woman greeted your mum and stepping aside she gestured towards the teenage boy standing next to her.

His green eyes fell to you almost immediately and you forgot to breathe for a moment. You were not the kind to crush that easily on guys, well, not until you laid your eyes on Harry. He smirked at you, nodding in your way in such an easy-going manner and you could feel the heat crawling up your neck to your cheeks and ears.

Anne and your mum quickly became good friends. She was the rock your mum definitely needed after such a bad year behind her and you were glad she found support in such a wonderful woman as Anne. Their newly funded friendship got stronger day by day until the two families just… simply felt one.

Growing up the Styles siblings and Anne came and go in your home as if they lived there too. On many occasions you came home from school only to find Anne in the kitchen while your mother wasn’t even home. Anne always knew when your mum was working the night shift at the hospital where she was a nurse and always made sure you had a warm dinner on those evenings, often inviting you over to just stay at theirs while your mum was away working. Birthdays, graduations, Easters and Christmases, they were all spent at either yours or at the Styles home, strengthening the bond between the two families.

You have always had a strong friendship with Gemma, but maybe because you were closer in age or for something else, but you became the closest with Harry. Two peas in a pod, as your mums liked to call the two of you. You weren’t just neighbors or good friends, it was clear to anyone and to both of you as well that you were the best of friends. You were there for each other at the best and worst of times, before and after Harry’s launch to stardom. You were there with him all along, sometimes physically, sometimes just through text messages and reassuring calls when he just needed a piece of his home away from home. Late night calls and talks were your usual when he was on the road and he made sure to only talk about his life after you’ve told him everything about yours, even if the most interesting thing was that you were able to buy three socks for the price of two. Harry listened and cared for everything that happened to you, not letting you think even for a moment that he would forget about his best friend when he is on the other side of the planet.

The two of you grew up together and while his life consisted of concerts, screaming fans, telly appearances and award shows, your mundane everydays went on the same was as any normal young girl’s: you graduated from high school, went to uni and then started a career for yourself. As time was moving it became a little more and more complicated to stay as close as you used to, though, both of you terribly busy with your own personal lives, so the calls, texts and meetings became less frequent, but you were always able to pick up from where you left, it was as easy with him as it could be.

Maybe that’s why you grew to love him in a more than friendly way through the years. Slowly, but surely you started to realize what an amazing man he really was –is. It was impossible not to fall for him, however you valued your close friendship more than to just ruin it with dropping a bomb on Harry. You always thought he doesn’t feel the same way, so you were sadly left with your daydreams and fantasies about him only your bedroom walls heard.

This year it’s gonna be the tenth Christmas you get to celebrate together, quite the anniversary. There were only two years when you didn’t see each other during the holidays, the first one because you and your mum spent it in Canada with some relatives that live there, and the second one was because Harry couldn’t come home a few years ago, having a too tight schedule. But this year, everyone made sure to make it back home in time. Harry called you three month before Christmas to check in if you are still gonna coming home.

“Would be an idiot not to. Can’t wait to stuff my head with cookies!” you chuckled.

“Have you found your sweater yet?” Harry questioned, the muffled noise of the traffic around him broke through the line as he was on his way home when he called.

“Not yet. But I’ve been looking. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna win this year,” you smirked in victory.

“Oh, not so fast with the assumptions, little girl!” he warned you making you laugh.

The two of you had a kind of tradition. Every year, you go on mission to find the ugliest Christmas sweaters one could find, and then perform a chosen song at the karaoke machine after dinner, entertaining the rest of the family. Those performances are the best memories you nurse. Your absolute favorite one was just a couple of years ago when Harry’s sweater was filled with weird looking reindeers in quite inappropriate poses, he even added a glittery pair of sunnies and he sang I Want To Break Free from the Queen. Everyone was on the floor laughing as he took the living room by storm as if it was the Maddison Square Garden filled with thousands of screaming fans, while it was just the five of you.

He won that year, Hell, even you voted on him, giving him the cleanest win of all times, but you swore to live up to that performance and you really feel like this year is gonna be your chance to live up to that promise. You have quite some tricks up your sleeves.

These past couple of years you were anxiously waiting for the holidays to roll around, because you knew you would get to spend so much time with Harry and through the year, even with several occasions of the two of you meeting, you missed him dearly. Sometimes you selfishly wished he would have just stayed the boy across the street so your lives could take tracks that run at least close to each other, but you always reminded yourself that his work was his life and you would have never taken away his true passion and happiness. Besides, you love watching him perform from time to time, that was just one of your favorite sides of him, see his eyes shine so bright as he sang to his fans. You used to envy the fangirls, it always seemed like he had a special connection with them, but you realized that you were one of them. You felt the same excitement when he stepped on the stage, you bought all his albums, even though he made sure you’d be one of the first people to get your hands on it. You had a second copy of them, because buying it gave you the extra jolt of happiness and the feeling that you were a tiny part of his success too. You watched all his music videos, knew the lyrics to his songs and cheered on him whenever he won another award. Difference was that at the end of the day you could call him and tell him how proud you were of him and he stared back at you with that beautiful grin, his dimples digging deep in his cheeks, telling you that he wouldn’t be here without you. You always knew he just said it to make you feel special, but he insisted it was the truth.

“I’m telling you. It you weren’t with me I would have gone crazy already, pulling a Justin Bieber or summat. Don’t think you are any less than what you are, that’s just daft.”

Every time he said something along those lines those damned butterflies in your stomach went crazy and you tried your best to ignore them. You didn’t always succeed, but the effort was there.

 Now it’s two days before Christmas and you are already standing in your old room after coming home from London, leaving your small but cozy little apartment empty until the next year. The walls are still the same lilac color you chose when you were fourteen, a twin bed is pushed against the wall under your window, the wardrobe’s door is littered with old pictures from high school and ones you cut out from magazines. You just never got around to take them down and after a while it brought you a comforting sense every time you came home. A warm nostalgia took over you when you saw them, so they eventually stayed.

Your suitcase is lying on the floor as you unpack some stuff you’ll be using often during your stay, but you don’t get far in the packing when you hear an all too familiar voice coming from downstairs. Leaving your stuff as it is you rush down and throw your arms around Anne from behind, who is standing in the kitchen with your mum.

“My sweet angel! How are you?!” she cheers turning around in your hold to hug you back, giving you a tight squeeze before she pushes you away so she can have a good look on you. “Swear you get prettier every time I see you!”

“Stop it, my head’s gonna get big,” you chuckle feeling yourself blushing a little.

“Never gonna stop praising my daughter,” she smiles and gifts you with a cheeky wink.

Anne was never shy to let you know that she thought of you as a second daughter and you still remember how it felt when she called you that for the first time. It felt nice to know that you could count on her no matter what.

The three of you chat in the kitchen, Anne asks you about your job and how things have been going, she hasn’t seen you in a while. You missed the times when you could just go across the street and have a talk with her whenever you wanted, but since you’ve moved to London, Harry wasn’t the only one you didn’t get to see as often as you would have wanted. Your job and life overall got you so busy sometimes, you barely had time to call your own mum.

“Harry is arriving this evening. Wanna come with us to fetch him up at the airport?” she asks you and of course you say yes. You wouldn’t miss the chance to greet him with a bone crushing hug just after he lands.

However, as the time nears when you’d have to leave to the airport, Anne calls you up and asks if you could go on your own.

“I didn’t finish cooking and Gems is in an online meeting. Would you mind if you went alone?” she asks and though it sounds a little made up, you don’t question her.

On your way to the airport you are nervously drumming on the wheel, the thought of seeing Harry excites and worries you a little. It’s been months since you last seen him in the flesh and though you’ve talked plenty of times on the phone and in video calls, it’s just not the same. You find yourself wondering if he still smells the same, if you’ll fit the same way into his embrace as before. When you were younger you often liked to think about the two of you as two pieces of legos when you hugged. Your frame just fitted so perfectly against his body, he was your absolutely favorite person to hug.

Standing in a corner at the terminal, you keep checking the board until his flight’s status changes to landed. Then your eyes are glued to the sliding glass doors, knowing well it’s gonna take him some time to get his bags and walk out, but you are just way too excited to finally see him again.

People start walking through the doors and your head perks up every time you see a slightly tall frame, only to realize it’s still not him. Until it is.

You can’t bite your growing smile back when you spot him, a beanie and the hood of his hoodie covering his mop of hair, sunnies hiding his eyes, but you’d recognize him even from just the tiniest detail. You push yourself away from the wall as you see him look around, probably searching for his mum and sister, because he was already on his way when Anne decided it’s gonna be you who fetches him up, so he doesn’t know about the change.

“Excuse me, can I get a picture?” you ask teasingly walking up to him and for a moment you can tell he believes it’s a fan who recognized him, but his face quickly changes once his eyes land on you.

“Fo’ fuck’s sake, you had me for a second,” he breathes out, his arms already reaching out to pull you against him and you gladly envelop yourself into his hold. “What are you doing here?” he mumbles tightening his arms around you, and you don’t mind it. As you face is pressed into his shoulder you smile when you realize that he still smells the same. Like home.

“Your mum asked me to come and get you because she didn’t finish cooking. But if you ask me she just wanted to surprise you with me. You happy to see me?” you smirk up at him letting your head fall back so you could look into his eyes.

“Always,” he grins before placing a soft kiss to your temple and letting go of you.

The two of you leave the terminal before anyone could recognize him and packing his stuff up into the car you head back home.

You hand your phone over to him once you hit the road so he can be in charge of the music and it’s no surprise when he starts playing Christmas music straight away. Grinning to yourself you glance over at him and see him scrolling through your camera roll like the nosy little gremlin that he is.

“Hey! I did not give you permission to snoop around my phone!” you warn him, but don’t try to snatch it away from him, there’s really nothing he shouldn’t see, besides, half of those pics have been sent to him through messages.

“Just tryna catch up w’ you,” he mumbles under his breath, continuously opening up photos he is interested in. “New couch, eh?” he asks showing you the screen for a second.

“Yeah, bought it a few weeks ago. You like it?”

“Looks comfy. I should try it out sometime.”

“You never sleep on my couch, what are you talking about?”

“Right, you always drag me t’ your bed,” he snorts and you gasp at him, smacking his chest gently.

“That’s so not true! You always just arbitrarily make yourself comfortable in my bed and I don’t have the heart to kick you out,” you correct him.

There hasn’t been many times when Harry crashed at your place, but when he did, he always slept in your bed with you, and the two of you have shared a bed a few other times prior too. It’s nothing new, though it does have a deeper meaning for you than for him, you think. Waking up with Harry snoring lightly next to you, admiring how peaceful and beautiful he is in this intimate state, you just wish you could see him like this all the time.

Harry smirks at you cheekily, scrunching his nose as he chuckles.

“’Cause I wouldn’t want to sleep anywhere else, Love,” he says before turning his attention back to your phone while you try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach at the nickname.

It’s quite late by the time you get home, you’ve run into some traffic, but it just meant more time with Harry. You gladly listened to his stories and you are happy you got some alone time with him. Parking up to your driveway you help him unload his bags before locking the car.

“Wanna go to the Christmas market in the morning? Promised Gemma I’d go with her and Michal,” he asks, slowly walking down the driveway towards his home.

“Uh, sure,” you nod smiling. Not that you had any other plans, the holidays are reserved for family and the Styles’ are family.

“Great, I’ll be here at ten. And thanks for the ride,” he smirks waving goodbye and you watch him cross the street before he disappears in his home and you do the same.

“Y/N? Is that you?” your mum calls out when you walk in.

“Were you expecting anyone else?” you ask, hanging your coat before you join her in the living room.

“Not,” she smiles giddily. “Was everything alright at the airport?”

You throw your legs over her lap and she squeezes your ankles playfully.

“Yeah, everything fine.”

“How is Harry?”

“Cheeky and smug, as always,” you huff smirking.

“Can’t wait to see him. I feel like I haven’t seen ‘im in ages.”

“When are they coming over tomorrow?”

“Anne said she’ll come around four to help me cook, the rest I don’t know. Dinner will be done around seven though.”

“I’m pretty sure Gemma and Harry will be here along with Anne,” you snort, knowing well they wouldn’t miss a chance to come over, especially Harry. He has been talking nonstop how he’ll be glued to your hip once he is back home, making up for all the time you’ve spent apart.

“They surely will,” your mum chuckles before you both turn your attention at the telly.

You go to bed way after midnight and finish up the packing you left abruptly when you left to get Harry. Shuffling around in your room you glance out the window and see that the light in Harry’s room is on too. Peeking out you lean against the window’s frame, thinking about the times when the two of you sat in the window, talking on the phone after curfew, keeping your voice down so your parents didn’t wake up, sharing secrets and your silliest thoughts. With Harry, you never felt like you had to keep anything back, he would have never judged you for anything, you could be your true self around him and vice versa.

A tall figure appears at the window and as Harry glances out his window he is quick to see you sitting on the window sill, your head resting against the frame. The two houses are not far away from each other and you see him grinning as he sits at the window as well, pulling out his phone, a moment later yours starts buzzing on the nightstand. You quickly grab it, and go back to the window.

“Creeping on me, eh?” he hums into the phone and you roll your eyes at him.

“Was just admiring the street lights, don’t flatter yourself, your head is getting too big,” you huff, but you can’t push your smirk down.

“Admit it, you were hoping to see me roam around naked, weren’t you?”

“As if I haven’t seen you like that before,” you snort making him laugh too. It’s true, Harry has never been shy to get rid of his clothes and he also doesn’t bother to draw the blinds whenever he is changing. You once saw him butt naked when he was nineteen, and when you told him to close the blinds next time he is changing, he just shrugged with a smug smile.

“’M not ashamed of anything, Love,” he told you and you had to turn away because you were blushing for sure.

“Right, you’re a fan of putting yourself on full display when you’re naked, almost forgot,” you chuckle shaking your head. “Millions of girls have the picture of you, lying naked on their walls.”

“You one of them?” he cheekily asks.

“Nah, doesn’t go well with the vibe of my apartment.”

“Shame. Though I think it would definitely look amazin’ above your bed, Love.”

“Now would it? I don’t know about that.”

“I’ll get you a copy framed,” he smirks and you can see it clear even from the distance. “Y’ know what? I’ll make you an exclusive one. One that nobody else has, how does that sound?”

“I can’t believe you, Styles,” you chuckle shaking your head. “I’m not gonna answer this, just gonna head to bed. You should too.”

“So we’re not sharing any secrets like we used to? Thought you’d have something fo’ me.”

“You know everything, Harry,” you sigh with a soft smile, though your heart skips a beat. He does know everything, except one big, fat, heavy secret you’ve been carrying around for way too long, that will probably stay with you forever.

“Right. Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Night, Harry.”

“Good night, Love,” he murmurs and you know he is smiling, thought he steps away from the window as he says goodbye and you do the same before ending the call.

 ***

 “Hey! That’s mine!” you protest as Harry steals another roasted chestnut from your little paper bag, but you can’t stay mad at him when he is smiling at you so sweetly.

“Sorry, tastes better when it’s someone else’s.”

“Sure,” you snort and just let him get as many as he wants. You wouldn’t have eaten it all anyway.

It’s quite cold out in the town, but at least there’s no rain or storm, so the weather didn’t try to ruin your little trip to the Christmas market.

Gemma calls out for Harry to show him something and you just keep wandering between the booths, enjoying the atmosphere quite a lot, you have no idea when was the last time you got to come to the market, though you always loved coming when you were younger.

Finishing up your chestnuts you throw the paper bag into a trash can and turn around to find the rest of your little group, spotting Harry and Gemma deep in discussion next to a booth that offers handmade ceramic mugs. As you walk closer it almost seems like as if they were having a fight, which is just odd, they rarely do that.

“Just get your head out of your arse!” you catch Gemma telling her brother who only groans in frustration before he spots you, a smile plastering across his face.

“Hey, there you are!” he beams.

“Everything alright?” you ask looking at them.

“Sure, just Gemma is being a little nosy, is all,” Harry waves in dismiss. You glance over to Gems, but she is already back in discussion with Michal so you decide to drop it. “You ate all the chestnuts?” Harry asks offended, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“Well, it was mine, so of course I ate them!”

“Selfish,” he narrows his eyes at you, but you both know it’s just a joke.

You walk further down in the aisle, occasionally stopping at some of the booth when you spot a place that offers hot chocolate in cute little mugs that you can take home with you if you’d like, or just take it back and get your money back.

“Oh look!” you gasp excitedly and head towards the hot chocolate booth. The old lady smiles brightly at the two of you as you take a look at all the choices. “Oh my god, they have caramel flavored!” you cheer, basically already drooling at the thought of a good, caramel flavored hot chocolate.

“What can I get for the lovely couple?” the lady smiles warmly at the two of you and you freeze at her assumption.

“Oh we—“ you start, but Harry cuts you off.

“A caramel flavored and a plain one, please,” he orders, without even batting an eye about how the lady just called you a couple. You can feel your cheeks heating up at the thought, but you try to calm yourself. He probably just didn’t want to get into explaining that you two are not an item and let her think what she wanted.

The nice lady hands you your mug and you take Harry’s as well as he pays for both of them. You would try to argue with him and pay yours, but you are already used to how stubborn he is and he never lets you split anything, it’s always on him.

“Thank you, have a nice day!” Harry calls out to the lady before the two of you leave. You peek at him handing him his mug, looking for any clue that would give away if this little scene got him just as bothered as it did you, but he looks perfectly fine and relaxed, so you decide not to bring it up. You’re sure he didn’t think much of it.

Your little stroll stretches into the afternoon, the four of you decide to have lunch out there too, then you just opt for a walk in town as Gemma wants to do a quick last minute Christmas shopping, so by the time you get home Anne is already over at yours helping your mum with dinner. Tonight you are all eating at yours, then tomorrow it’s the Styles’ turn to host, this is how you agreed this year.

“Woah, it smells amazing!” you call out walking into the house. The delicious smells fill up the whole place and you hear the two women giggling in the kitchen.

“Hi Honey, how was the market?” your mum greets you, a glass of red wine in her hand and the same goes for Anne.

“Great, we have a new mug,” you say holding up the emptied out hot chocolate mug. Stepping to the sink you wash it quickly and drying off you put it away in one of the cabinets.

You stick around in the kitchen and not so much later Harry comes over, the two of you leave your mums alone and get comfortable in front of the telly.

All channels are filled with holiday movies and you don’t mind, really, you like them all even if you’ve seen them a million times, you still find them funny and cute. Harry feels the same way, so when you settle on Love Actually he doesn’t say a word.

What startles you is that he grabs your ankles and pulls your legs over his lap, a small shriek escaping your mouth since you weren’t expecting him to do that. You’re sitting sideways, your legs are bent at the knee and Harry is kind of hugging them as his eyes are glued to the screen.

You find it rather hard to focus on the movie when Harry’s fingers keep fidgeting on your legs, they keep running up and down, sometimes he lays his hands flat on your knees, there’s no spot he hasn’t touched since you started watching the movie.

About an hour into the film he turns to you and you look at him in question.

“’M in the mood to cuddle,” he announces and starts moving around, not even letting you protest as he basically crawls to your lap, resting his head on your stomach as the two of you lay on the couch.

“Am I now your personal pillow?” you ask chuckling, but you wouldn’t want him to move for anything. Feeling him weigh down on you just feels so warm and simple but amazing.

“The best one,” he mumbles, bringing a hand to your side as you let your fingers comb through his curls.

You keep massaging his scalp and he lets out soft moans when you go over a soft spot, you can’t help but chuckle as he melts under your hands. His fingers start drawing circles on your side and the movie is long forgotten by you, all you can focus on is how great it is to have Harry so close to you. He is known to be a physical person, you are used to hugs and touches, but it seems like he is a little needier now than the usual.

You don’t mind it though, you just try to enjoy the moment, because it can end anytime.

Gemma and Michal come over a little before seven, and while your mums finish up the cooking the four of you set the table. You grab the crystal glasses and start placing them to the table, Harry lending you a hand. Once the table is all set you shuffle into the kitchen to see if there’s anything you can help with, Harry following you behind, placing a hand to the small of your back.

As you stand and wait for you mum to finish up the meals so you can help carry them to the table you feel Harry’s hand wander over to your hip, giving it a squeeze as he stands closer, so his chest is pressed against your back.

“Harry?” you ask a little out of breath.

“Hm?” he innocently hums.

“What’s with you today?” Turning your head to the side your eyes lock with his, but he just shrugs smiling.

“Guess I just missed yeh a lot.”

“You’re weird,” you chuckle shaking your head, but don’t make an effort to push him away. His touch feels way too good to put an end to it and you just want to be selfish a little longer.

His hands leave you when the two of you help to bring the food to the table, and you almost wish they would just return, but you gotta swallow the thought.

The food is amazing, as always. You all sip on some wine, just having a genuinely good time, enjoying that all of you are back at one place, something that rarely happens now that all three of you kids are all grown up.

At one point Harry rests his arm on the back of your chair, no one seems to notice but you. All these little things have been driving you crazy all day and your mind seems to be playing a nasty game with you. There’s no way Harry thinks of these details more than what they are, a friendly gesture towards an old friend of his.

When Gemma is telling a story about some weird guy she met at work Harry reaches up and pushes your hair behind your ear, his finger lingering over your neck a little longer than you would have expected. Turning to face him you give him a questioning look, not sure what to think about his needy and touchy self all of a sudden.

“What?” you mouth him, but he just smiles at you absentmindedly, curling a strand of hair around his finger, playing with it for a moment before letting go of it and going for another lock. You reach up and pull his hand away, feeling yourself heating up from his touch, but when you are about to let go of his hand he grabs yours, lacing your fingers together with yours as he rests them on his thigh.

“Harry…” you breathe out, glancing at the others, relieved to see that they are not paying much attention to the two of you.

“What? Am I not allowed to touch you?” he asks with a smug smirk and you roll your eyes at him.

“As I said, you’re weird,” you mumble under your breath looking down at your now empty plate. Harry gives your hand a squeeze.

“But like, the good kind of weird, yeah?”

“Shut up,” you chuckle shaking your head at him.

You try to tell yourself he is just needy because it’s been so long since you last saw each other. It can’t be more, you push even the smallest thought to the back of your mind, though it surely lingers there throughout the evening.

He helps you with washing the dishes, you stand arm to arm at the sink as you scrub the plates and hand over to him for drying. He gently hums to himself all along, swaying his hips, bumping against yours. At first you resist it, but then you catch the rhythm and start moving along, so your hips meet in the middle before swinging to the opposite side.

“What’s the song?” you ask finishing up the last plate.

“Just something random,” he shrugs smirking over at you. You hand him the last plate, he is still singing, making up gibberish lyrics to his song and once he puts the plate down he throws the kitchen cloth to the counter and easily grabs your waist pulling you against him as he starts swaying with you to his impromptu song. You let out a small shriek at the sudden movement, but eventually melt into his hold. The humming slowly turns into an all too familiar melody as Harry starts singing Sweet Creature into your ear, slow dancing in the kitchen while you hear your mums and Gemma laugh outside somewhere.

Your hands run up his arms and stop behind his neck as you lock your fingers and let him hold you close, his palms are pressed to your waist, fingers gently stroking you through the fabric of your shirt. You take a deep breath and his cologne fills your nose, one of your favorite scents, sometimes you just wish you could spray it on your pillow so it would always smell like him.

“Sweet creature, wherever I go, you bring me home…” he softly sings, leaning back just enough for your eyes to meet. It feels like your heart is about to burst out of your chest, it’s not the first time you feel so intimidated by him, like you could pass out any moment, but this is a little different. As if his eyes were telling you another story, but you can’t completely make up the words.

“Sweet creature, when I run out of road, you bring me home, you’ll bring me home.” He finishes the song, hums the closing melody and you watch him in complete awe. Your lips part when you catch his gaze move down to them and you swear you see him leaning closer, as if he is about to kiss you. Your breath gets caught in your throat, he is so close, just a few more inches and you’d taste those perfect lips of his, the ones you’ve been dreaming about for way too long.

It almost happens, it seems, but just when that last push is about to set in Gemma waltz into the kitchen and you step back faster than light, pushing him away even though the sudden lack of his touch is more painful than you were expecting.

“You guys—Oh, what’s up?” she asks stopping at the door and you feel yourself getting redder with each passing moment, the heat crawling up your neck, ears cheeks, right to the top of your head. What were you thinking? You let yourself believe Harry would ever kiss you, this whole scene was nothing more than just a friendly moment the two of you were sharing.

“I’m—sorry,” you breathe out making your way out of the kitchen, right up to your room to have some well needed space.

“Way to ruin everything,” Harry snickers at his sister.

“You joking? You wanted to kiss her in her mum’s kitchen?” Gemma snaps at him in disbelief.

“We were having a moment,” he mumbles rubbing his face with his hands. “Up until you stomped in with your big mouth.”

“Well, if you were havin’ a moment, just make it happen again.”

“As if it’s that easy, Gemma!” he scoffs throwing his hands in the air.

“Man up and tell her how you feel, don’t have to complicate it too much,” she shrugs before walking out and leaving her brother alone. Harry growls in frustration, the gears in his head turning wildly as he is trying to figure out how to come clear to you about his feelings.

 Meanwhile, up in your room you get out your laptop and busy yourself with checking up on messages and emails you’ve been ignoring, hoping that the uneasy feeling in your chest will ease very soon. Your hands were shaking when you locked yourself up in your room, but as you get focused on other tasks you slowly gain your balance back.

You kind of even forget that the Styles’ were over, you only realize that you abruptly pulled yourself out of the evening when there’s a soft knock on your door.

“Come on in!” you call out and a moment later Harry’s head pops in, eyes softly falling on your sitting figure on the bed. “Hey,” you smile at him faintly.

“Hey. Thought you were sleepin’s or summat.” Coming inside he closes the door behind him then sits on your plush rug in the middle of the room.

“Just… sorted some work related things out,” you sigh.

“Working during the holidays? Tha’s not healthy.”

“I know, I’m done,” you smile shutting the laptop down and putting it aside. “Sorry I disappeared, I just—“

“No worries,” Harry shakes his head. “Mum and Gems went home, they thought you were sleeping too, tha’s why they didn’t say goodbye.”

“Oh, alright.”

“But I thought we could have a sleepover,” he peeks at you with a boyish smile.

“What, like we did in middle school?” you chuckle.

“Yea, thought it would be fun.”

“Well, I don’t think my bed would fit us comfortably and we don’t have the mattress anymore that you used to sleep on,” you tell him looking around.

“Nonsense, I’m not tha’ big,” he insists hopping to his feet and throwing himself on the bed, ignoring that you’re already there. His body takes up more than half on the bed , limbs wrapping around you as he brings you down to the mattress next to him, you can’t help the laugh that leaves your lips.

“You’re like a gigantic baby, Harry!” you laugh as he keeps you down on the bed with his arm.

“It’s perfectly fine for two people,” he mumbles with a smirk, closing his eyes as his head sinks into your pillow.

“Do you ever get no as an answer?” you ask looking at him in awe. You can never get used to seeing him so up close, like not many get to.

“No,” he huffs in satisfaction, his arm bringing you closer to him and you just giggle at him.

“I’m not sleeping just yet, gotta have a shower first.”

“Do what you want, I’ll be here,” he mumbles but you snort at him.

“You’re not sleeping in my bed without having a shower,” you tell him before you grab your pajamas and head to the bathroom.

You have a quick shower and get done with all your evening business. Returning to your room you find Harry sitting on the floor, his back against the side of the bed as he is scrolling through his phone.

“Does mum know you’re staying over?” you ask him as you throw your used clothes into the hamper, moving around the room while feeling his eyes on you.

“Yeah. ‘S all good.”

“You need a towel?”

“Yes please,” he says pushing himself up from the floor.

“Clothes?” you ask with an arched brow. He just grins at you and it’s enough of an answer. “Here,” you give him the shirt and sweats he has left at yours quite some time ago, along with a clean towel.

“Thanks,” he smirks before leaving to occupy the bathroom.

He doesn’t take long in there, you’re lying in bed already when he returns, smelling like your shower gel, strawberry and melon.

He throws his clothes to the chair in the corner and then lies beside you on the bed. You scoot over to the wall to give him space, but he is quick to bring you closer to him once he has made himself comfortable. You lay your head on his shoulder as you are both scrolling through your phones.

When you had enough, you throw yours to the nightstand, and stay cuddled up to his side.

“Do you remember the last time I slept here?” he asks tossing his phone to the nightstand and bringing his arms around you.

“Mm, was it at my twentieth birthday?”

“Yeah. You were so wasted,” he chuckles and you smirk to yourself

“But you took good care of me.”

“I did. You were so cute, rambling about how much you love me when I took you home from the pub.”

You bite into your bottom lip. You still remember that night vividly. Your birthday party had gone a little wild and you had gotten drunker than you intended to. Luckily, he was there to bring your home and he stayed in the bathroom with you as you threw up everything you ate and drank that evening. Then he made you take a shower, got you fresh clothes out and helped you get into bed. He slept next to you that night, holding you in his arms, gently caressing your back and upper arm as you fell into your drunken slumber. In the morning you told yourself he just did what any other friend would do, helping you out when you were clearly knocked out, but he made you breakfast in the morning since your mum was working all night and morning and he stayed over later the afternoon to make sure you were alright.

What you told him in your drunken state about loving him, it wasn’t just your friendly side, it was your drunken self coming clear to him, telling him that you are in love with him, but he didn’t take it seriously and you were too ashamed and awkward to even bring it up to him after that, so it was all forgotten very soon.

Following that you planned on telling him how you feel, several times. You even wrote a little speech you planned to give him when the time comes, but you couldn’t do it. The fear of losing him if he doesn’t feel the same was stronger than you expected and every time you had the chance to come clear, you chickened out. The thought of losing him as a friend is way worse than having to push your feelings down... forever. You just can’t imagine your life without Harry in it and you can’t risk losing him.

The two of you talk for quite a while, laughing about the good old times, until you both fall asleep. Sometime in the middle of the night you wake up and feel Harry wrapped around you, his head lying on your chest as he is snoring softly. He truly is like a big baby, an arm thrown over your stomach, his legs tangled with yours. Good Lord, how amazing it feels to have him so close to you!

Reaching up you tangle your fingers through his hair gently so he doesn’t wake up, his soft curls glide between your fingers easily and lifting your head you kiss the top of his head before letting yourself drift back to sleep.

When you open your eyes the next time the situation is the opposite, you are the one cuddled up to Harry’s side who is scrolling through his phone with one hand, keeping the other one on your arm.

“Mornin’, sleepy head,” he chuckles softly when he sees you awake.

“Mmm, what time is it?” you ask letting your head rest on his chest a little longer.

“Quarter to nine. You can sleep a little more if you want, it’s not that late.”

“No, I promised mum I’d help her wrap gifts,” you sigh rolling over to your stomach as you push yourself up to your elbows to look at him. “Love the double chin you got going there,” you tease him sleepily and he just smirks.

“Yea? Quite cute, right? Worked a lot on it,” he jokes running his finger over it before letting out a chuckle. “Ready for our battle today?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. You are going down this year, Styles,” you tell him pushing yourself up into a sitting position. Harry only pushes himself further on the bed enough to rest his head against the headboard.

“Oh really? I wouldn’t be that sure about tha’,” he warns you, but you are feeling pretty confident about your performance this year. There’s no way he can top it.

“We’ll see. Alright, I need a coffee. Want something for breakfast?” you ask him crawling out of the bed.

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

Your mum is already in the kitchen, sipping on her morning coffee while reading the paper. She doesn’t find it even a bit weird that Harry spent the night at yours, it’s been quite the usual for you. Harry helps you make eggs and bacon and the three of you eat together, having a lovely time and you genuinely feel like it’s just like in the good old times when you were still living home and Harry wasn’t Harry Styles, but the boy from across the street.

He goes home after breakfast to help his own mum with the cooking for tonight’s dinner and you don’t do much for the rest of the day, just spend time with your mum, watch movies and relax. It’s nice to unwind after such a busy year behind you.

Not long before five you go to take a shower and get ready to head over to the Styles’ and you pack everything you’ll need for the evening: gifts, ugly sweater, accessories. Harry is going down this year for sure.

It’s a little past six when you and your mum walk across the street, Anne’s Christmas lights are putting the little town house into the spirit for sure. You don’t even ring the bell, just walk straight in, like you always do. The Christmas tree stands tall in their living room and the table is already nicely set. Gemma and Michal are snuggled up on the couch while Harry is helping Anne in the kitchen with the finishing touches.

“I’m rooting for you this year,” Gemma winks at you when you set down your bag in the corner that has everything you’ll need for your performance.

“He’s gonna lose this round,” you smirk proudly, very sure in yourself.

Harry greets you with a bright smile and a tight hug when he walks into the living room, as if you didn’t just see each other a few hours earlier.

When the food is ready you all sit down to eat, and though you’re trying your best to focus on the conversation, you’re getting excited about tonight’s karaoke battle.

“Anxious much?” Harry asks you quietly.

“Why are you asking?”

He doesn’t answer, just places a hand to your thigh stopping it from shaking, making you realize you’ve been probably bouncing it all along. He smirks at you as you just roll your eyes at him.

“’S okay, you can handle one more year of losing,” he teases you and you give him an arched eyebrow.

“Don’t be so full of yourself, Harry,” you warn him, but he just squeezes your thigh again before bringing his hands back up to the table, leaving you a little breathless with his touch.

You all help clean up the table after dinner and when it’s done, you gather in the living room to open gifts.

When Harry’s career launched, the first few years you felt anxious about gifting him, because you felt like you couldn’t give him enough. He had all the money and bought everything he needed for himself, there wasn’t much you could give him. But when one time, you admitted to him this struggle of yours he assured you that it doesn’t matter what you give him, it’ll always be precious to him.

“You thought about me, you took the time to buy something for me, and that’s more than enough, Y/N,” he told you and though it took you time, but you got used to it. Especially when you saw the same excitement in his eyes every time you gifted something to him, you slowly but surely realized he wasn’t expecting a Gucci suit, but a thoughtful gesture.

Gathering in the living room you open the presents one by one and just as always, everyone was quite creative with the gifts. You can’t help but still feel a little anxious when Harry grabs his gift from you. Giving you an excited look he unties the little bow on the top and tears the wrapping paper off.

“Y/N!” he breathes out, eyes softening as he pulls the knitted cardigan out of the box.

“I always saw you wearing all sorts of cardigans and so I finally had a reason to learn how to knit, so I thought I would make one for you,” you ramble as he holds up the baby blue cardigan that has little daisies all over the front. It took you an entire week to just make the daisies, you worked on the whole cardigan for more than two months, usually in the middle of the night, staying up until unholy hours to finish in time.

But Harry’s smile is worth it all, he is beaming, clearly so in love with what you made him, so you breathe out relieved. He then puts it aside and wraps his arms around you pulling you into the tightest hug.

“Thank you, I love it so much,” he mumbles and kisses your temple and you breathe in his sweet scent, burying yourself in his embrace, hugging his waist.

When you part, Harry reaches for a box from under the tree and hands it to you, a nervous smile tugging on his lips. You can tell he wrapped the gift himself, the silver wrapping paper is a little uneven, but the huge rainbow colored bow on the top is the perfect touch that makes it like a piece of him.

You carefully tear the paper off, peeking inside you just see a plain box that doesn’t give much away. Glancing up at Harry you see how he is anxiously biting his bottom lip, even though you’d be happy with a gift as small as a candle. It’s the thought that counts.

“I-I wasn’t sure if this was the one you mentioned to me, so I hope it’s gonna be alright,” he mumbles, eyes fixed on your hands as they open the box, while you try to think back what you have told him about that caught his attention, but you just can’t recall what you wanted to get so badly you told Harry about it.

As you open the box you don’t process what it is immediately, the plastic wrapper making it hard to figure it out, but when you carefully pull out the object, you gasp in surprise.

“Harry!” you breathe out as you pull off the plastic of the old, vintage polaroid camera. It’s not one of these new types you can buy in stores easily, this is a classic, must have quite a history behind it.

Now you vaguely remember talking about longing for an oldschool, vintage camera, but it was months ago and you’ve forgotten about the whole thing since these devices cost a fortune because there aren’t many left from them. But now there’s one in your hands, because Harry not only listened to you, but he remembered and went out of his way to find you one in amazing condition.

“This must have cost a fortune!” you huff, your heart pounding in your chest, though you already know it doesn’t matter to him.

“This face is worth every penny,” he smiles at you softly before you throw yourself at him for another round of hugging. This man surely knows how to have you wrapped around his fingers.

The two of you sit on the floor as you figure out how to make the camera work, Harry bought everything needed, so you have a few packs of films as well. When it’s all done you bring it up to your face and aim it at Harry. It takes him a moment to realize that you’re about to snap your first photo and he tries to snatch the camera away, but it’s too late, the flash goes off and the device pushes out the undeveloped picture.

“You wasted your first snap on me?” he protests rubbing his eyes after the flash blinded him for a little.

“It’s not a waste,” you tell him as you patiently wait for the picture to finally appear.

Slowly, the colors start to show and in a couple of minutes Harry’s face appears, his hand reaching in the direction of the camera, looking out of focus, only his face appearing clearly. He looks so delicate, his eyes dazzling as a soft smile plays on his lips. This moment now will live forever not just in your mind, but on this photo.

 Harry goes out with his karaoke performance this year for sure and you’d be actually anxious about him winning if only you didn’t have the absolutely best performance right in your pocket.

His sweater this year features some really ugly looking penguins and a horroristic reindeer on the back, it’s really ugly and you can’t even imagine who thought it would be fine to make it and then sell it. His choice of music is also excellent, he has a great eye for songs you’d never imagine him perform and then shock everyone with it. This year, he chose Rude Boy by none other than Rihanna, and it’s fantastic, no one can make it through the song without crying. Harry makes sure to put on his best show, even dancing and twerking unapologetically, trying everything to win the battle and you are amazed by his effort. Above all the fun and jokes, he nails the song, that’s undeniable. It always baffles you how he can just slay any and all genres, even the ones that stand a million miles away from his style.

When the song is over, you all cheer for him, because he truly deserves it. He grins down at you in victory, but you just give him a challenging smirk.

“You can just give up now, if you want,” he teases you as you stand up from the couch and the two of you trade places.

“Oh, I think you should be the one to worry about losing,” you warn him grabbing your bag. Stepping to Gemma you whisper into her ear, instructing her to put on your song when you call out from the bathroom, since you are planning on do a grandiose entrance. When she hears what song you’ll be singing she gasps.

“Oh my fucking God, no way!” he looks at your with wide eyes.

“What? What is it?” Harry asks, dying to know what you just told his sister, but you shake your head at him.

“Patience,” you tell him before locking yourself up in the bathroom.

This year, you didn’t find the sweater, the sweater found you. On one of your thrift tours, you were digging up a huge pile of clothes when you came right across it and you knew what you needed to do.

Putting on the sweater you fix up your hair quickly before putting on your party glasses, the one that lights up if you switch it on. You take one last look at yourself in the mirror and smirk at your reflection knowing well you’ll have everyone dead when you walk out.

“Gemma! You can start it!” you call out with your hand on the doorknob, waiting to hear the music. Gemma quickly starts in and you haven’t even stepped out, you can hear a round of gasps.

Best Song Ever blasts through the speakers and you walk out trying your best to imitate a younger version of Harry, wearing the absolute ugliest Christmas sweater ever, that has the faces of One Direction all over it, filling up every inch of the fabric, and all of them have poorly photoshopped Santa hats on, it’s just literal trash and ridiculously perfect for the battle.

You grab the mic and start singing as everyone screams in the room. You jump, sing and even do the dance moves the boys do in the original music video, and when you look at Harry you see him staring at you in disbelief and total defeat. Everyone knows you won, nothing can top this performance ever and you could burst from the sweet feeling of victory.

By the end of the song everyone is up on their feet dancing and singing with you, a mini party forming in the middle of the living room and you all scream the last lines as the song comes to its end.

“I think we don’t even need to vote this time,” you say when the music stops, everyone screaming in agreement while Harry stares down at you, trying to hide his growing smirk.

“Where did you even find this?” he asks chuckling as he takes a better look at the sweater.

“At a thrift store, it called out my name, knew it’d be perfect.”

“It really is ugly, if I’m being honest,” he sighs, his eyes meeting yours again. “And the song… I accept defeat, you earned this victory, Y/N,” he tells you bowing and admitting your victory.

 Later that night everyone is so keen on watching Holiday, you agree to stay even though you feel your eyelids heavily weighing down, threatening to close with each passing moment. You let your head rest on Harry’s shoulder and he presses his cheek against the crown of your head.

It’s not a surprise you fall asleep halfway into the movie, but what you weren’t expecting is to wake up and find yourself not on the couch anymore, but in Harry’s bed. It’s dark, only the moon is shining through his windows and as you turn to the right you see that he is sleeping peacefully next to you on his back, one arm spread next to him, hand hanging from the edge, the other one resting on his stomach, rising and falling in a slow rhythm.

Squinting your eyes you look at the digital clock on his dresser, it reads 3:23 am so you’ve been asleep for quite a few hours now. You don’t even remember him bringing you up here, but you’re definitely not mad that he didn’t bring you home, just up to his room.

Rolling to your side you give yourself a moment to adorn his beauty without fearing he would catch your wandering eyes. Everything seems so perfect about him, the line of his nose, his cupid’s bow that delicately rolls into her lips. The crease between his eyebrows, his soft skin on his cheeks, down his neck that runs into his broad shoulders and inked, strong arms. You truly think there’s no man that could compare to him and you are lucky enough to live your life so close to him, be able to touch him, hear his voice whenever you miss him, see his smile and share a connection with him.

It’s so silly, but you think of him as your personal ray of sunshine in your life. Just the smallest things about him can brighten your worst day, he’ll always have a special place in your heart, no matter where life takes the two of you.

Watching him sleeping you allow yourself to break free from your doubts and fears and scooting closer you shyly curl up to his side, your head resting on his shoulder, but you can’t even make yourself comfortable before you feel him moving under you.

Sucking on your breath you think he’ll push you away, not wanting you so close, but instead, he pulls his arm from under you, curling around your frame as he pulls you tight to him, almost making you lie on top of him. Your whole body is pressed against him and you mingle a leg between his long ones under the soft sheets. You let out a long huff at the warm touch of his body against your skin, completely lost in him.

“You alright?” he mumbles in his sleep laced voice, his eyes remain closed.

“Yeah. Is this okay?” you nervously ask as you lay your hand flat on his stomach. He brings his hand that was hanging from the bed on his other side and covers yours, as he squeezes you tight to his side.

“’M all yours,” he breathes out, his words sending a shiver down your spine. You’re sure he didn’t mean it like that, but it warmed your heart to hear it from him and you let your mind play with the thought that there was more behind his words than a friendly manner.

Nuzzling your head into his chest you close your eyes and listening to his steady heartbeat you let yourself fall back asleep.

 Your morning is filled with coffee, pancakes, laughter and great company. Harry doesn’t let you leave without having breakfast with them, so you sit with the Styles family and laugh about the craziest stories from your teenage years.

“Remember when we tried to run away?” Harry grins at you, his red mug that had white polka dots all over it in his hands as he eyes you.

“Oh, how could I forget that?” you huff and Gemma turns to you with surprise in her eyes.

“Wait, I didn’t know about that!”

“Because we didn’t get too far,” Harry laughs. “We were, what, like fifteen?”

“Yeah, it was a few weeks after my fifteenth birthday,” you nod smiling.

“I had a fight with mum about God knows what, then stormed over to Y/N’s and talked her into running away. So we packed our backpacks and left.”

“Where did you go?” Michal asks with an amused grin as he listens to the story.

“We didn’t want to go into town, running into anyone we know, so we thought we would just go straight out to the meadow that’s there,” Harry says gesturing towards the window. The edge of the town is not so war, and a huge meadow lies there, a little stream running across it. “We walked for quite long, but then it started to get dark and we had nowhere to go, so we just ended up coming back home. No one even noticed we were gone, they thought we just went out to bike or something,” he finishes laughing.

“You knew about this?” Gemma asks Anne.

“Yeah, he came clear the next day, thinking he would piss me off with it, but I didn’t care, he came back for dinner, so it was alright,” Anne explains laughing.

It’s been so long since it happened, but I still remember it vividly, only that it was a more dramatic memory back then, now I can only laugh at it.

“We should go for a walk today,” Harry prompts to you.

“Wanna run away again?” you tease him.

“Always,” he chuckles.

You help cleaning up and agree with Harry to meet outside in an hour to take a walk to the meadow. Going home you take a shower and wash the dishes your mum left in the sink when she left for her morning shift. You put on a pair of boyfriend jeans, a warm sweater and your jacket with your trusty boots and you walk out the house right when Harry steps out as well. He grins in your way as the two of you meet in the middle of the street. He holds his arm out for you.

“M’ lady?” he smirks as you link your arm with his and the two of you head out for your little walk. It’s a gloomy day, might rain later as well, but it’s dry so far, so you’re just hoping to get home before it starts raining. Your runaway attempt wasn’t the only time the two of you came out here, it was kind of your place when you felt like having a break from everyone else. You biked out here, brought your favorite snacks and just ran around, enjoying the stillness.

However it also holds a bitter memory as well.

A little further down among the trees happened Harry’s first kiss and you witnessed it, feeling your heart break to a million pieces when you saw him lock lips with someone who wasn’t you.

Debby Hamilton was a friend of yours in sixth grade, you’d say, your only friend beside Harry and the three of you often hung out together around that time. Debby was a delight, you always desired to be more like her, boys liked her and she knew it damn well, but it didn’t make her cocky and egoistic. You always thought Harry had a crush on her, why would have he? They kind of looked cute together.

It was a Friday afternoon and Harry asked if you wanted to come out and listen to his new cassette he got for his old Walkman he refused to get rid of as technology was evolving. You figured he’d want Debby there as well so you invited her along, but didn’t tell Harry. He never made a move on Debby and you thought he was just looking for the right time.

That afternoon, you were supposed to meet them out there at five, but you didn’t leave until half past five and it takes about twenty minutes to get out there. Though you gave them the alone time technically, it still startled you when you found them under one of the oak trees, Debby leaning her back against the tree as Harry stood in front of her. She was smiling up at him sweetly, saying something to him and you were just about to call out for them and apologize for being late when Harry ducked his head and kissed Debby right in front of your eyes.

That was your first and probably worst heartbreak and you were only twelve. You felt betrayed, hopeless and naïve to think Harry would ever have a thing for you when there were girls like Debby. You left without letting them know you were there. When Harry asked you later why you didn’t come you told him you felt sick to your stomach, which wasn’t a total lie, you had quite the nausea after seeing Harry with Debby, but he didn’t have to know all the details.

He later told you about kissing Debby and you pretended like you didn’t know about it. However they never dated and not long after their kiss Debby drifted away from the two of you. Not that you minded, you had a bitter feeling every time you had to look at her after that, jealousy raging in your chest knowing that she got Harry’s first kiss.

He didn’t bring it up after and you weren’t keen on talking about it, but you still know which tree they were standing under and now as you near the area you see that it still stands tall near the tiny stream.

Peeking up at Harry you see that his eyes are focused on the same tree, but then he catches you looking.

“Memories?” you innocently ask, feeling your chest tightening. You don’t even know why you asked. It’s been over a decade since that kiss, you are both adults, but you still can’t help the sadness that washes over you at just the thought, why would you want to get him talk about it now?

“’S just… that’s the tree I kissed Debby when I was twelve,” he mumbles with a shrug. Biting into your bottom lip you look at the old oak tree nodding your head and before you could stop yourself, you speak up.

“I know.”

“What? How would you? I never told you,” Harry asks stopping, a puzzled look pulling on his face.

“Well I… It doesn’t matter,” you sigh, regretting ever opening your mouth.

“It does. Tell me!” he pleads standing in front of you.

“I know it, because… I was here.”

“You what?”

“I came, I was just very late. And when I arrived you two were standing there and I saw you kiss. I thought I shouldn’t interrupt whatever was happening so I went home and let you two be,” you explain, changing it up a little bit.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why is it important that I saw it? It doesn’t change anything, right?” you ask with a smile that you intended to look innocent, but deep down it’s filled with pain.

Harry opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, but then remains silent and you are done talking about it, so you just quietly keep walking, Harry catching up with you a few moments later.

It’s awfully quiet after your revelation, it seems like Harry is deep in his thoughts and though you’re dying to know what’s occupying his bright thoughts, you’re kind of afraid you’d hear something you didn’t want to.

The two of you soon head back home and slowly, but you forget about the whole Debby thing. Harry starts talking again, but he looks a little keyed up still when you reach your street.

“Wanna come over later?” you ask standing on the pavement in front of your house, it’s just an innocent question. Harry nods his head.

“Sure. Is your mum working?” he asks glancing at the house, though he knows she is, the car is not on the driveway.

“Yeah. She’ll be home around six.”

He nods again and you want to ask if he is alright, but you decide not to. You share a quick hug before he heads over to his home and you do the same. The house waits for you in silence and when the door clicks behind you, it weighs down on you heavier than you were expecting. You hang your jacket, kick your boots off and throw yourself to the couch, covering your eyes with your arm as you huff out in frustration. You feel silly for getting upset about such a small thing even after so much time, but you just can’t help it.

You barely realize the sound of the front door opening, taking your arm off your eyes you see Harry walk in, eyebrows furrowed, a worried look on his handsome face.

“Harry—“ “I was waiting for you that day,” he simply says as you sit up with wide eyes, confused about what he is really talking about.

“What?”

“That day, we agreed to meet out there to listen to my new Stevie Wonder cassette, but you didn’t show up, Debby did even though I didn’t invite her out there.”

“Well, I did, thought you wanted her there too,” you explain, startled by the situation.

“I would have invited her if I wanted her to be there, but I wanted to be with you. Only you.”

“I-I’m sorry?” you breathe out, not seeing where he is going with it.

“Y/N, you don’t understand,” he huffs and he is right. You don’t. “I wanted to meet you, but you never came, or at least I thought. Then Debby showed up, I was frustrated that you weren’t there and she was being all nice, telling me how cute I looked when I was worried and it all just happened so fast and… I didn’t even want to kiss her.” He looks properly upset telling you the story and he takes a deep breath before his eyes meet yours with a hard stare. “I wanted to be with you,” he repeats.

“Harry, I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

He shakes his hair, not even letting you finish, because he knows what you wanted to say and that you still don’t understand the meaning behind his words.

“Y/N, I wanted to kiss you,” he then finally says and you suck on your breath as he continues. “Well, not right then and there, but I’ve been meaning to kiss you, I just didn’t know when. I thought that if we have a moment that afternoon I’d do it, but you never came and I was mad and disappointed. I hated myself for kissing Debby, because I didn’t really want to, it just… happened. I wanted to tell you, and I intended to do it when I told you we kissed, but you acted so happy, I figured you didn’t feel the same way about me as I did for you. So I didn’t tell you the rest, but…” He sighs in defeat, looking for words, but he ran out.

“Why are you telling this to me now?” you ask a little out of breath, your head feeling heavy at the new information you just heard.

“Why didn’t you tell me you saw us and why did you go home without a word?” he asks ignoring your question.

“I… don’t—“

“Don’t try to lie.”

Gulping hard you lick your dried lips as you stare back at him.

“Because I was… jealous.” Your voice comes out only as a whisper. Harry’s lips part as he takes two steps closer to you.

“You had feelings for me?” he asks and you just nod your head, not trusting yourself with your voice. “Do you still have feelings for me?”

“I do,” you whisper your answer and Harry lets out a sharp breath as he leaps across the room in your way. You jump to your feet, thinking that he’ll lash out on your for keeping it a secret and you open your mouth to explain yourself, but you never get to speak up because as Harry reaches you, one hand snaps to the back of your neck, the other one to your waist, yanking you against him as his lips crash to yours.

You gasp in surprise, but it doesn’t take long to kiss him back, your numb mind blindly reacting to his sudden action. Your hands snake up to the back of his neck as you pull him closer, returning his hungry kisses. His soft lips feel so smooth and warm against yours and when his tongue runs along your bottom lip you whimper letting your tongues meet in the middle.

He is intoxicating and it doesn’t help that your adrenaline level is up in the sky, you’ve fantasized about it way too many times, and now that it’s happening your body is burning in flames. He kisses you all over and over again, his body pressing against yours hard and when he even leans in making you lean back, you lose balance and the two of you fall to the couch, both of you gasping as you are forced to part your lips.

“Fuck,” you chuckle as Harry is basically lying on you, holding himself up on his arms, but you feel him everywhere.

“’M sorry, I got a little carried away, but I’ve been dying to do this since forever,” he admits chuckling as he lifts his head and looks down at you with those bright green eyes of his.

“Really?” you breathe out, only slowly processing what’s really just happened.

“Y/N, I’ve been in love with you since I first saw you hiding behind your mum.”

“Idiot, you were just a kid, you weren’t in love,” you chuckle, running up your hands to the back of his neck, your fingers playing with the soft curls. He smirks and nuzzles his nose against yours.

“Oh, I was, I just didn’t know it yet.” Leaning down he pecks your lips softly. “I’ve been meaning to tell you so many times, but I didn’t want it to ruin our friendship. Though I was growing impatient these last few years.”

“Yeah?” you chuckle.

“You can’t imagine,” he huffs shaking his head. I almost kissed you the other day in the kitchen, but Gemma completely ruined the moment.”

“I’m sorry I ran away, I was just—“ “No need to apologize. I guess it all played out well after all, right?” he smirks and you can’t help but chuckle.

“I guess,” you breathe out and the smile slowly fades from your lips. “And now what?” you ask quietly, staring up at him.

“Now… We’ll try to make things work. Test the waters. I’m very serious about this, Y/N,” he tells you. “I’ve been waiting for this my whole life so I’m not gonna let go of you now.”

“You have no idea how happy this is making me,” you choke out feeling the tears forming in your eyes.

“Oh Love, please don’t cry,” he begs and leaning down he kisses your tears away. “I’m right here, with you. Sorry it took me so long you get here, but I’m here now.”

“I know,” you huff blinking away the tears as you pull him down and press your lips to his. “I love you, Harry,” you whisper against his perfect lips. You feel him exhale sharply as he keeps kissing you before he lifts his head so your eyes meet again.

“I’ve always loved you.”

 Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought about it!

[voldemorts-tap-shoes]

Molly's reaction to finding out Ron and Hermione are together post-battle (if you feel like it, no pressure).

I feel like basically everyone except Ron and Hermione saw this coming from miles away, so I imagine Molly would be pretty chill. Thanks for the prompt!

***

Sleeping Arrangements

The first night, he wasn’t sure his mum had even noticed.

They were all grieving from the loss of Fred and the others, and the house was full as there had been no question of any of them leaving Hogwarts for anywhere but the Burrow in the aftermath of the battle, and even the Lovegoods were there since their house had exploded earlier in the spring, so Luna was sleeping on what was usually Hermione’s cot in Ginny’s room, and Ron was sure nobody with the possible exception of Harry had noticed that Hermione was staying in his room. With him. In his bed.

It had happened quietly, without question, without any fanfare, and without any of the awkwardness that Ron had long assumed would naturally accompany the process of beginning a romantic relationship with his best friend. They had simply trudged up to Ron’s room in the attic, the three of them, and Hermione had slid under his covers without a word. He had slid in beside her and wrapped an arm around her, and she turned her head to kiss his cheek with a whispered goodnight, the whole routine as effortless as if they’d been doing it for years.

The second night, he thought that his mum probably had noticed—nothing ever did get by her, really—but was letting it go on account of Hermione’s nightmares.

Ron had gone downstairs in search of another blanket, because despite the rising temperatures of the encroaching summer, Hermione never could seem to get warm, and all the blankets they’d had on the hunt were currently hanging out to dry after a much needed wash. He’d been on the landing, about to head back upstairs with the old afghan, when the voices of his parents, Bill, and Fleur drifted up from the sitting room.

“Still don’t know exactly what happened to them out there,” Bill was saying, “but they were in bad shape when they turned up.”

“ ‘ermione was tortured,” Fleur put in. “I am certain.”

“The poor dears,” Molly sighed, barely loud enough for Ron to hear. “Hermione must be having nightmares about it all. Hopefully staying with Ron and Harry helps.”

Ron had hurried back up the stairs then, feeling slightly guilty. It wasn’t that it was untrue; Hermione had been having nightmares most nights since Malfoy Manor, and Ron and Harry were frankly no strangers to them either. It’s just that that wasn’t exactly the reason she was sleeping in his bed, either. The real reason being that they were simply so happy to be alive that any minute they didn’t spend together, awake or asleep, felt like a waste. And if much of the time they spent awake when they should have been sleeping was consumed with exploring their newly formed relationship, who was Ron to argue?

It wasn’t until the third night, when his mum very nonchalantly suggested that he add a couple of drops of Dreamless Sleep potion to the bedtime cup of tea he was making for Hermione, that it occurred to him. Even though they hadn’t exactly been hiding it, they hadn’t really been flaunting their new relationship either. His mum knew that Hermione was sleeping in his room, but for all she knew, Ron still just had his two best friends up there; it may as well have been Harry and Neville for all the fuss she’d made. He had no intention of letting Hermione be forced to sleep anywhere else, but he needed to at least be honest with his mother.

“Mum? I need to talk to you about Hermione.”

“Yes, dear? What about her?”

They were alone in the kitchen, and Ron turned anxiously to face Molly, who was looking at him seemingly without the slightest inclination of the salacious news he was about to deliver. “We’re er...well, we’re together now. And I just thought you should know that, since...y’know, she’s sleeping in my room and all.” He felt his ears reddening, but he met his mother’s gaze determinedly.

To his astonishment, Molly just laughed lightly. “Is that all?”

“Isn’t that enough?” Maybe she hadn’t understood. Maybe she was delirious, sleep-deprived. The past few days hadn’t been easy on any of them. Maybe he needed to be more straightforward. “Hermione’s my girlfriend. My girlfriend is staying in my room.”

“Yes dear, I understand.”

“But…” Surely she had explicitly outlawed this very act at some point in his life. With his siblings, if not with him—after all, his only other girlfriend had never even been to his house, much less slept there. “Aren’t you upset? It’s not...I dunno, proper or something.”

“Well, honestly, I’m not sure how much trouble the two of you could get up to, sharing a room with Harry,” Molly replied with a chuckle as she stood and filled her own mug with tea.

“What if Harry starts staying with Ginny when Luna goes home?” Ron asked, more out of curiosity as to how far he could push this topic than anything else.

Molly patted his cheek before turning to head upstairs herself, calling over her shoulder as she went, “Then you and Ginny both know where to find me if you need a refresher on contraception charms.”

***

Asks are open :)

[let-me-luve-you]

Schedule Change

Tom Holland x Twin Sister

Summary: At your brother’s welcome home dinner, a fight ensues when he drops new news.

Warnings: fluff ending, sibling fights, angst(y) (sorta)

A/N: I’m pretending the pandemic didn’t happen and Tom has been gone for a while.

MASTERLIST

“I have to go to Atlanta to start filming Spider-Man 3.” Tom said at his welcome back dinner. He had just finished filming Uncharted and was supposed to be home for the rest of the year.

“Wait what?” You said. “I thought that started next year?”

“They moved it up a month. I won’t be able to come home for Christmas either.” Tom flinched knowing this was going to crush you.

Nikki and Dom looked at you worried.

“It won’t be that bad y/n/n.” Harry said. “We will be back before you know it.”

“When do you come back?” you asked. Paddy and Sam awkwardly looking on. They knew how much you missed your brothers. Especially your twin. Sam can relate.

“March.” Tom said matter of fact. Not really bothered by the news anymore.

“When do you leave?”

“Next Monday.” Harry said reaching over you to grab more potatoes.

“No.” You said. “No. I have two of my plays going on. Tom you promised you would be there.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t postpone this. They moved it up for me. I can’t just say never mind.” Tom said starting to get angry over the conversation.

“Okay lets all calm down.” Dom said trying to get his kids to relax and talk about this without getting angry.

“No dad. He promised. He knows how much these plays mean to me. He hasn’t been to a single one since I started acting at the theater.” You said throwing your napkin on the table. “I’ve done nothing but support his career. I watch all his movies. I go to all of his premieres. I just asked for this one time, he be there for me. Be there to support me while I’m on stage.” You glared at Tom as you walked out of the dining room.

“Y/N it’s not always about you. I’m doing my job.” Tom said standing up following you.

Nikki sighed and followed them to get them to stop before they say something bad.

“You’re right Tom. It’s not always about me, because it’s ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!” You started to yell. “IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU! I can never do anything good enough to get you to see me. I got into fucking acting so you would see me. We are twins Tom and you never want to spend time with me. It’s always Sam and Harry and when you’re home, it’s Paddy, Haz, and Tuwaine. I’m your twin. I’m the one that is supposed to be best friends with you.”

“Y/N/N that’s not..” Tom tried to say.

“It is true. When was the last time we hung out together, just us. Yeah I can’t remember either.” You said grabbing your jacket and walking out the door. Nikki followed.

“Baby don’t leave. Stay and talk this out. Don’t leave it like this with Tom.” Nikki said as Tom stopped out of sight to listen to his mum try to talk you end to staying.

“Mum, I can’t. I just need some air. I’m sick of fighting with him and never being enough for my own twin brother.” You said as a tear rolled down your face. “I sometimes wish I wasn’t his twin. Then it wouldn’t hurt so much. I’ll be back home later. I just really need some air.”

Nikki let you go and shut to the door behind you. She leaned her forehead against the door and sighed.

“Tom come here. I know you were listening.” Nikki said turning to the doorway Tom was in. “Just let her cool off before you talk to her.”

“Mum, I never meant for her to feel like that. I didn’t even think when I asked for them to push up filming. I have another movie that starts in April and this way I get a bit of a break before it starts. This way I only have press tours at the end of next year. I didn’t think of her plays. I feel awful.” Tom said sighing as he slid down the door and leaned against it.

“I know baby. Just talk to her. No one understands her like you do.” Nikki said as she bent down and kissed the top of Tom’s head.

A few hours later you walked back up to the house. Tom’s car was gone which made you sigh in relief. All the lights were still on which meant your parents and two younger brothers were still up and around. You quietly slipped in and went to the kitchen to get some left overs. Since the fight started early into dinner, you didn’t get to eat much.

“I put your plate in the microwave. All you have to do is heat it up.” Tom said as he watched you from the doorway. You tensed.

“Thanks.” You whispered. You started to warm up your food. You walked over to the drawer that held the forks.

“Look Y/N/N, I’m sorry.” Tom said as he came to stand next to you.

“I thought you went home?”

“Harry took my car. I wanted to be here when you got back. Talk to you. I’m sorry. I’ve been a terrible brother. I was trying to plan ahead when I asked them to push up the filming dates.” Tom said. He continued to explain to you what he had told his mum earlier that night. “I’m really really sorry.”

“Okay.” You turned towards him. “I forgive you. I’m sorry for overreacting. I just miss you.”

“Come with me. When both plays are done, fly out to me. You can join us for the last little bit of filming, then we can come home, and then you can join me for the new movie in April.”

“Are you serious?” You smiled. “I’ve never been to set before.”

“I know. That’s changing now. Haz isn’t going because he has his modeling gigs, so you will be my new assistant. I’ll even pay you. This way you can come with me if you want, but you don’t have to.”

“I’d love to. Thank you.” You said as you hugged Tom.

“Also, I am hiring someone to film your plays so I can see it and I’ll always have it.”

“You don’t have to do that.” You shrugged.

“I want to. I’m sorry I can’t be there. I know you will absolutely kill it.” Tom said wrapping you in a hug. “Now grab your food. Let’s go watch a movie in your room.”

[tobesolonely]

jealousy

a/n: hello! this is a little one shot that’s apart of my dad!harry universe! you dont have to read the original one to understand this one shot but if you’d like to, ill link it here . i hope everyone enjoys! please reblog and leave feedback if you do<33

summary: y/n and harry have another child, and their first born is a little skeptical on the idea of being a big sister.

warnings: none

word count: ~1.7k

my ko-fi! thank you :)

After hours of excruciating contractions, a backache like nothing you’ve ever felt in your life, and the horrid discomfort that came with pushing, you forgot all about your displeasure when Harry grabbed your hand, eyes sparkling, and said: “He’s beautiful, Y/N. Oliver’s here.”

When you found out you were having a baby boy, you were ecstatic. You and Harry already had a daughter, a fiery six-year-old named Allison, or Ally, as she preferred, and wanted to try for a boy. Girls run on both sides of your family, so you were pleasantly surprised when you found out you were expecting a baby boy. However, your daughter was not so happy about this news.

At first, you and Harry thought that the farther along you got in your pregnancy, the more your daughter would warm up to the idea of being a big sister. Unfortunately, the opposite happened. She became withdrawn and had outbursts that you would describe as “unpredictable and unprovoked.” You tried using your own experience as an older sibling to help your daughter know what to expect. You let her pick the color for the nursery. Harry got a t-shirt made that said, “Best big sister ever!” but she never wanted to wear it. Despite your greatest efforts, nothing changed your daughter’s attitude. She was much like you in that aspect— once she had an opinion on something, it was difficult to get her to see things from a different perspective. Still, you were looking forward to your eldest meeting the newest addition to the family.

After a few hours of skin to skin, feeding, and napping (because everyone knows you sleep when the baby sleeps), Harry breaks the silence. “Told my mum she can come over with Ally and Gem, now. Are yeh okay with visitors?” His voice is scratchy from not speaking for so long, and he’s whispering in an effort to not wake up your son.

“That’s fine,” you respond, rubbing sleep out of your eyes. “Just exhausted. Maybe a short visit?” Harry nods, telling you he already suggested they don’t stay for long. You look over at your son, starting to feel a little anxious. Ally had six months to adjust to the idea of having a sibling, and she was upset about it right up until the very end. When you went into labor, as Harry frantically got the car packed, she stood off to the side and said nothing. When Harry’s mom arrived as you were getting set to leave, the two of you told your daughter to be good, gave her hugs and kisses, and reminded her how loved she was. Still, Ally said nothing. When Anne waved as Harry backed the car out of the driveway, Ally had a look on her face that she didn’t often wear— a look that could best be described as pure hurt.

“What’s on your mind?” While you were lost in your thoughts, Harry moved from the chair near the window to the one next to your bed.

“I’m just worried about how Ally’s gonna react to him,” you gesture toward your son, who was still fast asleep in his bassinet. “Did you see how she looked at us when we left? Hardly said a word to either one of us.”

Harry hums thoughtfully, thinking back on the earlier day's events. “Guess you’re right, now that ‘m thinkin’ about it. She didn’t seem excited at all, did she?”

You shake your head, tears starting to form in your eyes. Harry’s expression softens, and he reaches to gently cup your face. “Hey, don’ gotta cry, lovie. Just wait ‘til she sees him. Promise she’ll fall in love jus’ like we did, trust me.” He wipes a stray tear from your cheek and gives you a reassuring smile.

“You’re right,” you tell him, feeling silly for getting so emotional so quickly. “I know it’s a big adjustment. My mom told me I was the same way when my little sister was born.” Harry nods, retracting his hand from your face and reaching to grab a tissue from the table beside your bed.

“See? Who woulda thought yeh didn’t like your sister when she was born? The two of yeh are inseparable at this point, know she’d be right here beside you if she wasn’t away at university.”

You’re about to respond when a gentle knock at the door interrupts your conversation. Harry’s eyes light up as he turns to see his mother, Gemma, and your baby girl all walk into the room. Gemma is holding a big bouquet of flowers, Anne has a bunch of balloons with “It’s a boy!” written in curly script, and Ally is clutching onto her grandmother’s hand, a stuffed bear that you don’t recognize as being hers in tow.

“C’mere and give Daddy a hug,” Harry immediately stands up and goes to pick up your daughter, twirling her around. “Missed yeh so much, love bug. Were you good for grandma and auntie Gem?” Harry’s voice is still quiet, as Oliver was still sleeping, and no one wanted to deal with a fussy baby at the moment.

“Yes, daddy.” Ally answers quietly and shortly, looking down at the floor. Harry notices this and sets her down, kneeling to make eye contact with her.

“What’s wrong, Ally? Mumma and Daddy have noticed that yeh haven’t been yourself lately. Something botherin’ you?” Harry questions, already knowing why she was so upset but wanting to give her a chance to freely express how she was feeling.

“S’just…” she says, tugging on her shirt and stretching it out, a bad nervous habit she developed. “I don’ think I want a brother, Daddy. Auntie Gem said it would be fun, but I jus’ don’t think so.” Your daughter has a look of genuine worry on her face. At this point, Gemma and Anne have made their way over to you, quietly offering congratulations and gushing over Oliver.

“What makes yeh think it won’t be fun, bug? What are some things you’re worried about?” Harry takes one of her little hands in his, rubbing gentle circles on her thumb. Ally harshly rubs at her eyes, and you know this means she’s about to start crying.

“Jus’ think you and Mumma won’t love me anymore… because you’ll be too busy playing with him,” She looks over in her brother’s direction, not even wanting to say his name. “I bet he’ll get more cuddles than me.”

Your heart breaks at the fact that your daughter thinks you and Harry don’t have enough love in your heart for her and her baby brother. “Ally, come over here and lie next to Mumma,” you call out quietly. Harry picks her up and brings her over to you, laying her on your bed cautiously to make sure she doesn’t accidentally get tangled in any of your IV’s.

“Baby, there’s nothing and no one on this planet that could make me and Daddy love you any less. We have enough love in our hearts for you and Oliver. Do you understand?” You ask. She doesn’t say anything.

“D’ya wanna hold him?” Harry offers, looking at his mom and sister who have hopeful looks in their eyes. They know how difficult it’s been for Ally to accept a new sibling, as Anne and Gemma have both reassured you countless times when you’ve vented to them about it.

“I guess,” she mumbles, looking at her hands. Harry tries a different approach.

“I see yeh had a new bear in your hand when yeh walked in. Is that for your brother?” Ally looks at the bear that she had discarded on the chair and nods slowly.

“Auntie Gem got Mumma flowers, an’ grandma got balloons. So I wanted to get something too,” she tells him, looking between yours and Harry’s faces. He smiles widely at this and reaches to grab the bear.

“That’s so thoughtful of yeh, bug. See? You’re a natural big sister! Did Auntie Gem teach you some things when I wasn’t around?” Ally chuckles at this, playing with the stuffed animal’s legs. “Do yeh wanna hold him and give him the bear, Ally?”

She quickly nods, a noticeable shift in her mood. Harry tries to hide his excitement as he walks over to Oliver’s bassinet, who was now starting to wake up. He coos when Harry picks him up, and you’re relieved when he doesn’t burst into tears like he has been for the past few hours.

“Hold your arms like this,” you demonstrate for your daughter, situating her body next to you so she could hold her brother without hurting him. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Gemma pull out her phone and start recording.

“Ready for him?” Harry questions. Ally nods and Harry slowly places her brother in her arms. “Make sure yeh hold the back of his head, bug. Can’t let it dangle.” You help her readjust her hand placement to offer more support to Oliver’s head. Ally looks up, a dimpled smile on her face.

“He’s so little!” She exclaims, staring back down at him in awe. You and Harry look at each other, tears filling your eyes for what felt like the thousandth time that day.

“He is, isn’t he?” You ask, quickly wiping under your eyes. Anne places her hand on your shoulder, looking down at her grandson with a look of pure adoration in her eyes.

“He’s beautiful,” she gushes, sounding slightly choked up. “He’s got eyes just like yours, Ally.” You see her smile at this, but she doesn’t look up, not wanting to stop staring at her new brother. She reaches carefully with the hand, not supporting her brother’s head to grab the stuffed bear she picked out for him, setting it next to him.

“This is for you, Olly,” she says, placing the bear beside him. “You can sleep with him every night!”

Harry glances at you again, a look of relief on his face. “Olly, is it, bug? He has a nickname just like yours,” he tells her, reaching over you to smooth her hair. “Ally and Olly. I like tha’.” Your heart is full, and your family is complete.

At least, for now.