#i drove my grandma's prius' (2) and they are fucked up

[savetheblackpaladin]

I was driving today, and I imagined Hunk was teaching me, even though I already know how to drive and I don't know, maybe you can write something in which the paladins are teaching their s/o or something how to drive?? Or maybe they're just being really annoying about it lmao

This is adorable. And I feel you. When I have to drive on a long trip by myself I imagine I’m on a road trip with my fave characters and we dance like idiots to my music. Or all scream when there’s snow on the ground and my car turns into a metal death trap. Fun stuff!

Shiro + His Expedition:

“You…you don’t know how to drive? Nono, you’re fine! Yeah, I can teach you!”

what a sweet man. but you ain’t getting in his baby without your driver’s permit so tough shit

“Ok, so that’s the brake, that’s the gas. Both are a little touchy so press gentle ok? She’s an old girl. And that’s the blinker, please use it…”

he goes on and on about where things are. even going to far as to show you the radio and the ac/heater system even though you’re not allowed to touch either when driving

“Two hands on the wheel at all times. Ten and 2 o’ clock are where your hands should always be.”

yes mom

Seems calm and collected all the way until the point where you turn the car on. Then he realizes that he is in fact in a very large car, that you don’t know how to drive, that’s not really beginner friendly.

“Slowly…slowly…slow-THIS ISN’T SLOWLY!”

“Shiro, I haven’t even touched the gas. We’re just rolling…”

“…Right! Good job! Let’s just uh, let’s test out those brakes! They are you’re best friend.” *awkward smile*

he’s pretty sure his white patch has grown by the time you finally drive home

“So, can I try again tomorrow?”

*sweats nervously* “Ye-ah, sure. Totally okay! No problemo! Excellente! Okie dokie, artichokie!”

“I wasn’t even that bad!”

“I know, I’m sorry!”

it takes a few times, but eventually he loosens up enough to let you have fun with Black and kinda enjoys not having to always be the one to drive

Hunk + His Truck, Butter:

“Awww, babe. Can you drive? I’m ti~ired….What do you mean you can’t drive? Huh, ok, can’t believe I didn’t notice. We’re changing that tomorrow, it’s like a…uhm, what the word here, a rite of passage!”

please be careful with Butter, she’s his baby and and a classic

“Ok, so this girl is a manual. There’s your clutch and here’s the shifter, don’t get the brake and gas confused with the clutch. Please.”

really chill about you driving his car, but not quite ready to have you leave the parking lot quite yet. might take you out of the city for a bit, maybe drive around on some dirt roads

“You’re doing awesome! Ok, so get a little loose now, you don’t need to keep both hands on the wheel and stick unless you’re in a tense situation. Keep relaxed, let Butter do the talking, you just listen to her.”

“Nice park job, but let’s try making it in one go this time.”

Might be a little nervous when you get out on the road though

“Ok, you’re a little close to the right line, let’s move a little ove–TOO FAR OH MY GOD!”

“Let’s try easing on the brakes ok? I’m getting nauseous.”

He stops at parallel parking

“STOP! Stopstopstop! You’re gonna hit that truck! Ok–whew, breathe Hunk, breathe.” His eyes are closed and he looks like he’s struggling to remain calm.

“Did-did I do bad?” You’re nervous but luckily there’s no traffic around to see you half out of your spot.

“Not…bad,” he opens one eye to peek at you, “just…we’ll practice more later. I can’t take much more. Let’s find a different spot.”

You feel your stomach drop, “Oh…yeah, sure.”

“Hey now,” he reaches over to squeeze your shoulder, “It’s alright. You’re still learning. Keep that cute chin up!”

still the main driver but some days, when he’s just too tired, he’s really glad that he taught you. Totally worth the week of indigestion.

Lance + His Camry:

is absolutely ecstatic when he finds out you can’t drive

bc 1. it’s adorable for some reason?

and 2. he gets to pass on his skillz

also he’s got a perfect training car. Camry’s are freaking tanks and never die Heroes never die

“Go ahead, start her!” He waits with a shit-eating grin because his car is a sensitive lady and usually doesn’t start for anyone but him and Hunk.

But she starts right away, even easier than she does for him.

he’s not jealous

nope

no way

ok fine, he’s a little jealous

“So before we put her in gear, what exactly do you know about driving? Because I don’t want to treat you like an idiot or something.”

Luckily the Camry is an automatic so Lance is pretty unconcerned with taking you immediately out into the road

he’s got so much trust in you

“Yeah, getting her into drive is a little tricky. You’ll miss it the first time and slip straight into second. Just give her a little bump back into drive. Perfect!”

high five!

might have forgotten to put his seatbelt on and when you first used the brakes he went flying into the dash

“That one is on me. Rule numero uno: seatbelt.” Satisfied he’s not bleeding he continues, “Let’s just be a little lighter on the breaks. You wanna lightly press down and continue pressing down slowly towards the floor until you stop. Just one lo~ong, slow, good push.”

“Was…was that a sex joke?”

“It was bad wasn’t it? Sorry.”

Makes you practice parking next to other bad park jobs, just so you get a feel for how the Camry handles

“I think I’m gonna hit that car.”

“Naw babe, you still have a couple of inches. Let it roll….ok, now stop. Back up a bit but turn the wheel all the way in the opposite direction. Stop. Now you can slide all the way in.” *eyebrow waggle*

“Please stop using those words.”

He’s really soft and excellent at explaining what you need to do and surprisingly, he doesn’t panic.

Only grabs the wheel once when you were coming off the highway and the turn ramp was turning harder than you were and he needed to stop you from running off the road

Afterwards explains that it was all good and that he is in no way disappointed or scared about your driving skills. Turns are scary sometimes.

Now he just tosses you the keys when he doesn’t want to drive. He likes being able to do that. Sometimes, a boy just wants to gaze forlornly out a rainy window while driving to Del Taco.

Keith + His Motorcycle:

“You…wanna learn to ride a bike? Uh yeah, I can-I can do that.”

He nervous. How does one teach a person to ride a motorcycle?

Decides the best way is to sit behind you so he can yell directions or quickly take over if necessary

also, now he gets to wrap his arms around you

“You can ride a bicycle right? I don’t have to worry about you falling over?”

Has you sit on it first with the kickstand down, pointing out the hand clutch, the throttle, the gear shifter by your left foot, the brake by your right

“Rule of thumb: the left side changes gears, the right changes speed. I know it’s weird, but we’ll get it!” 

He’s so sincere about teaching you but honestly? He thinks it’s really hot to see you on his bike.

Looks bored the whole time but he’s trying to remain as neutral as possible, so he doesn’t scare you or something with his over-eagerness

“Keith, I can’t tell if I’m doing okay or not.”

“You’re doing great. You’re a natural.”

“Can you say that with feeling???? I’m getting mixed messages here.”

getting balanced is the hardest part

He’s doing his best to let you catch the bike but he can’t resist long

keeps his feet just off the ground but still straight out so he’s the one keeping you from falling over

his excuse is that he has stronger legs, not that he thinks your gonna drop Red or anything (it’s his biggest fear rn)

Finds a nice parking lot to practice in 

doesn’t have you go fast at all, just kinda put-putting along, getting a feel for the shifter

realizes that he’s probably a hindrance on the back but he’s scared you’ll fall over or off or somehow zoom too fast and crash

he needs to be close enough to just turn it off

lets you control the turns, working as a counter weight

his heart is in his throat now because you both could very easily topple over

he doesn’t want you hurt or scared to be on his bike because of one tumble

also he doesn’t want to have to buff Red out, because he will

but he gets bored easily. The moment you are able to stop it in second and drop it down to neutral he’s taking you on the road

nothing major though, you take the back streets home

probably won’t offer to let you drive. Red is his girl. But if you ask nicely, he’ll let you take the reins.

low-key is keeping an eye out for cheaper bikes he can fix up for you

Pidge + Her Prius:

“Yeah, no, you’re not going another second without knowing how to drive. Strap in loser, you’re getting the crash course.”

Ok, so Prius’ are weird but that’s half the fun!

“Guess where you put the key?” She’s got a shit-eating grin too. This gremlin.

“Th-there’s no key? I don’t...Pidge what do I do?”

“Oh don’t pout, you know it’s my weakness. See that hole in the dash? Put the fob in it and press start.”

“Seriously. I press start? Am I playing Nintendo or something?”

She snorts, “It’s exactly like that! Ok ok, so now it’s on.”

“You sure? Because I didn’t feel it turn on.”

“You doubting me?”

She also laughs when you see the shifter. It’s a freaking knob on the dash. Also, you press the park button to get into park???

WHAT THE HELL IS A PRIUS

“Ok so, the windows are tiny as hell in here. You gotta twist around to see where other people are while you’re moving. We got a clear road, go ahead and practice checking your blind spot.”

Might get a little nauseous during this part. You keep over correcting and swerving back into your lane.

“Ok, let’s just...take it easy...we can just chill in the right lane all the way to Jamba Juice. I don’t care how much slower it is.”

Fucks with you just once

You’re at a four-way stop and it’s about your turn when she reaches over and presses the power button, causing it to immediately die

She’s cackling because you can’t get it to turn back on and the other car is waiting for you to go

eventually they do and you’re yelling at Pidge who thinks this is hilarious

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist doing it at least once. Just put it back into park and then you can restart it.”

“Jokes aside babe, you’re doing great. I almost feel like I’m not about to die.”

doesn’t mind you driving now. but she does not like it when big trucks and semis get close while she’s a passenger. She so smol and so scared

she needs to be in control

she drives on freeways and highways. she can suffer in the city