#i dream about everyone and everything don’t be weirded out if ur in my dream it’s just my brain making up silly stuff

[whumpy-wyrms]

had a dream that me and 4 other mutuals were hanging out irl and all our ocs were there too and we were all sitting around my room talking about our oc lore and stuff it was so silly and fun

and the tllr mystery character was there taking up all the attention hahahaha i think this is a sign for me to write. i’m sooooo excited to introduce them

[cupidisaliar]

Bound by infinity pt 2🪽

- hope you guys like it 🥹

-pt 1 here: https://www.tumblr.com/cupidisaliar/751313995108122624/bound-by-infinity

warnings uhm: 2 swear words? gojo is kinda possessive and he grabs ur face. grammar might be weird grammarly is tweaking on my phone. sorry this is late :(

When you wake up, the morning dawn’s light holds your face as it rises from the horizon.

The feeling in your gut is still there, not butterflies.

Moths.

Everything feels heavy, and you don't wanna get out of bed.

Your eyes are red when you look in the mirror.

You can vaguely recall a strange dream. You found yourself trapped in a chaotic realm. Strange shapes and colours blurred your vision. You've never had a dream like that before.

As you prepare for the day the memory of your dream slowly fades away.

You have to push yourself further during training today... You are only a grade-four sorcerer. Even though you can get past Gojo’s infinity..you are still weak.

Heavy with the burden in your mind you leave the dorm and head to the training grounds. You ignore the hunger pangs, you are too anxious to eat breakfast. The sounds of the other sorcerers fill the humid air.

It’s too early for this…4 am to be exact.

You sit on the bench and chug water to push the hunger away.

“You ready?” a voice calls you to attention.

It’s Yuji.

“Yeah..” you nod. He always seems so happy to see you. You look at the others. Everyone seems to tolerate you, Panda, Toge, Nobara… save for Maki and Megumi… you don’t know why.

You like to think that you are close to Nobara and Yuji.

Yuji looks as eager as ever, he is a walking ray of sunshine. He notices your uneasy glance at the other sorcerers. “Hey now…don’t worry about it. We all started somewhere. Just do your best y/n.” He says with a thumbs up. Yuji’s uplifting words ease your nerves slightly, you feel grateful to have a friend like him.

You smile back at him. You see Megumi glance at the two of you but he doesn’t acknowledge your presence. You take a deep breath and stand up. It’s time to train.

You brush yourself off as you and Yuji head to the grass. You catch Megumi’s gaze and he slightly glares you before turning away.

“Uh don’t mind him..he’s always like that,” he remarks.

“So what are we doing today?” You ask.

Yuji leads the way to a row of dummies. “Today, we are all working on our cursed energy control.” He gestures to the dummies. “We are focusing on channelling are cursed energy at a specific point.”

“I feel like I don’t have a lot of cursed energy.” You confess to him, shoving your hands in your pockets.

Yuji looks back at you with a cheerful smile. “Hey, don't worry!” He reassures. “It's not about how much cursed energy you have; it's about how you use it. You can do it!”

He stops and you follow suit.

Then, he points to the first dummy. “See that?” He asks

“Yeah..” you nod, looking at the dummy.

“Now... I want you to focus on the dummy. Think about where you want to send your cursed energy. Then use that energy.” Yuji explains

You hold your hand out to concentrate.

Nobara strolls in, a small smile on her face. "Hey you two, ready for some intense training today?" she says with a mischievous gleam in her eye

"Of course! " you smile. Nobara is so badass

Nobara chuckles at your enthusiasm and gives you a playful nudge.

"That's the spirit! Now let's show these dummies who's boss." She and Yuji high-five before walking to the side of you.

You glance back at Megumi. You can't help but wonder why he resents you. It's distracting you.

As you glance back at Megumi, he's focused on his own training, paying no attention to you or anyone else.

Nobara notices your glance and leans towards you, lowering her voice. "Someone’s moody" she quips

You chuckle and you turn your attention back to your training. You channel your cursed energy, concentrating on the technique and aiming for the dummy with precision. Each blow you land on the dummy feels a bit stronger, and you feel a sense of achievement each time you manage to hit with more force than before.

You decide to funnel your cursed energy into a blade and hit the dummy.

Suddenly it shatters into a fine powder. You step back shocked.

Yuji and Nobara are startled by the sudden shattering of the dummy. They turn their attention towards you, surprise evident on their faces. "Wow, that was intense!" Nobara exclaims, clearly impressed by the surge of power you showed. "Nice job,Y’N!" Yuji adds with a smile, genuine excitement in his voice.

You can’t help but look at Megumi again. “Thanks, guys..” you mumble.

Nobara glances towards Megumi too, and she lets out a small laugh as she notices his reaction. "Looks like you've impressed our resident grump" she teases, and you notice that Megumi averts his gaze as if trying to hide his surprise. "Seriously though, that was something else." she says with a smile.

“I don’t know what happened…” You confess

Nobara grins, noticing your confusion. "It seems like you tapped into your cursed energy in like – a really powerful way." Yuji chimes in, impressed by your display of power. Megumi, still keeping his distance, watches you with a hint of curiosity in his eyes. You can tell that he's trying to figure out how you managed to unleash such a powerful technique

“I’m gonna take a break, I’m gonna head to the vending machines!” You say, rubbing your shoulder.

Nobara and Yuji nod in agreement. As you walk towards the vending machine, you sense Megumi following you from a distance. His reluctance to interact directly with you becomes even more apparent. Once you reach the vending machine, you notice Megumi lurking nearby, seemingly disinterested but still watching you.

“You go first… I’m still deciding…” You explain, stepping away from the machine

Megumi steps forward, hesitating for a moment before inserting some coins into the vending machine and selecting a drink. He grabs the drink from the machine and hands it to you. "Here," he mutters, looking away from you.

Feeling surprised but appreciative of his gesture, you hesitate before you reach out and take the drink from him. "Thank you," you say softly, your eyes meeting his for a brief moment before he turns away. His actions were unexpected, but there was a flicker of something in his gaze that caught your attention.

You look down at the drink for a second.

Iced tea.

“Wait!” You turn to him.

Megumi’s pace falters at the sound of your voice calling out to him. He turns around, a hint of surprise etched on his features. "What?" *he asks, his tone somewhat guarded.

“Do…do you hate me?” You realize how embarrassing saying that is out loud.

Megumi lets out a long sigh, avoiding your gaze as he speaks. "Look, I don't hate you. I just...I have my reasons for keeping my distance" he says, his voice tinged with a hint of frustration. "It's got nothing to do with you, really. I'm just not exactly a social butterfly, you know?" he adds, a touch of sarcasm lacing his words.

“Well whatever it is…I think…we could be great friends that’s all… “ You stare at your feet. Awkward…

Megumi pauses for a moment, and then he lets out a small chuckle. "You're persistent, I'll give you that." he says, his tone softening slightly. "Listen, I... I apologize for being standoffish. It's not personal, it's just the way I am." he says, his gaze meeting yours for a moment before he looks away again. "But if you're determined to be friends, then I guess I can try, too." his words are laced with reluctance, but you can sense a glimmer of warmth in his voice.

You decide to play it cool.

“Yeah.. sounds good” you shrug.

Megumi eyes you as you try to play it cool, a hint of a smirk on his face. "Don’t get used to it," he says, but his tone lacks its usual biting edge. There's a hint of playfulness in his voice now, and you get the feeling that he’s starting to warm up to you, albeit reluctantly.

You smile back and watch him walk away.

Megumi glances back once more, catching your smile as he walks away. He gives a nod, a sign of understanding and reluctant acceptance. As he continues on his way, you notice that his shoulders are less tense, and there’s a slight change in his demeanour. It seems like he's starting to let his guard down around you, little by little.

You haven't seen Gojo... you should talk to him.

As you glance around, you realize that Gojo has been conspicuously absent for training. The thought of talking to him sparks curiosity in you, and you decide to go in search of him.

You have no idea where to start you just absentmindedly wander the halls. Lost in thought, when suddenly you hear a familiar voice echo down the hallway. "Yo, you looking for me?" You turn to see Gojo leaning against a wall nearby, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

“Oh hey! Yeah, I am!” you call out to him walking to him.

Gojo pushes himself off the wall hands in his pockets, strolling towards you with a casual gait. "What's up? You look like you have something on your mind." he asks, his eyes studying you intently.

“Uhm...about yesterday…” you start

Gojo's smile widens, and he crosses his arms over his chest. "Ahh, about yesterday. What about it?" he asks, clearly intrigued by your hesitation.

“I don't know... I just thought we should talk about it…” you mumble, wanting to ask how he's feeling without asking how he's feeling

Gojo raises an eyebrow, his expression betraying a hint of surprise.

"Talk about it, huh?" he says, his tone laced with a touch of curiosity. "Alright, let's talk. But first, what do you want to know?"

You look off to the side “Uhmmm. any recent thoughts on the matter?” you say casually. Like you’re discussing the weather.

Gojo lets out a huff of laughter, amused by your attempt to be subtle.

He steps closer to you, towering over you with his tall stature.

"Thoughts, hm?" he says, a hint of playfulness in his voice "Well, they've been plentiful, I can tell you that. But are you really interested in my thoughts?"

“Yes!” you blurt out exasperated “I..I hope it doesn't distress you... not that it shouldn't... it would distress me if I was– am the strongest and…” your mind departs your train of thought.

Gojo chuckles at your outburst, clearly amused by your eagerness. He leans in a bit closer, studying you intently. "You're worried about me, huh?" he says, a slight smirk on his lips. "You know, it's sweet but a little misplaced. I'm not exactly your typical person who gets distressed...not easily, anyway."

You just look at him. He can’t be serious.

Gojo's smirk deepens as he looks into your eyes. He can sense that there's more you want to say but are holding back. "You're curious," he states bluntly, his voice soft but authoritative. "You have questions, so ask them. Don't be shy."

“...really?” You ask.

Gojo chuckles again, clearly enjoying this exchange. "Of course, really," he says, his tone laced with a hint of amusement. "Ask me anything. I'll give you straight answers...probably."

You scrunch your face up, even in a stressful moment he’s unbelievably cocky.

“Okay.... well....are you trying to figure out a way to prevent me from stopping infinity or are you just trying to figure out how I'm doing it?” You hold your hands out as if to show him the options.

Gojo's amused expression doesn't waver. He tilts his head, contemplating your question for a moment before responding. "So, you want to know what my next moves are, huh?" he says, his tone laced with a hint of curiosity. "Alright, I'll give you a straight answer. I'm figuring out both. How you're doing it, yes, but also how to prevent you from doing it."

“Okay…” you sigh... You aren’t sure whether to be relieved or not.

Gojo senses your slight disappointment at his response. "What, did you expect something else?" he teases, a smirk playing on his lips. "Did you think I'd just give up and let you do whatever you want?"

“...no?” An obvious lie on your part. You don’t seem to be good at hiding things from him.

Gojo's smirk widens, and he leans in a bit closer. "You're lying," he states bluntly, his voice laced with a hint of amusement. "I can tell. But I'll humour you. You didn't expect me to just..give up, but...you hoped I'd have something more...reassuring to say, didn't you?"

You do.

“No.” You reply.

Gojo leans in even closer, his eyes still locked on yours, a hint of mischief in them. "Liar," he says again, his voice a low rumble. "You can't fool me. You wanted me to say something that would ease your worries, something that would reassure you...but I'm not the reassuring type. Sorry to disappoint."

“Well are you going to tell the higher-ups, surely–”

Gojo's smirk turns into a frown at the mention of the higher-ups. "You mean the old geezers up top? Why the hell would I tell them anything?" he asks, his voice laced with disdain as he cuts you off.

“Oh...maybe they could help...?” You cross your arms.

Gojo scoffs, clearly not interested in involving the higher-ups in this matter. "Help? Hah. Those senile old fools wouldn't know how to help if their lives depended on it. They couldn't handle something like this. And they definitely wouldn't appreciate your...unique ability."

“I see…” You think

Gojo crosses his arms, subconsciously copying your body language, his expression turning serious. "If the higher-ups found out about you and your abilities, they'd probably see you as a threat. They'd want to experiment on you, study you, see what they could do with your power. And they'd probably lock you up somewhere, never to see the light of day again. Trust me, you don't want to get them involved."

“...” You open your mouth for a rebuttal but you can’t think of anything.

Gojo's expression softens a bit as he realizes the serious nature of the situation. He steps closer to you, his voice quieter. "You're powerful, there's no doubt about that. But the higher-ups...they wouldn't see it the way I do. They wouldn't see it as a valuable weapon to be honed, they'd see it as a liability, something to be controlled. You don't want that, trust me."

You nod…

Do you trust him?

Gojo watches your reaction, his gaze studying your face intently. There's a hint of something flickering in his eyes, a mix of protectiveness and possessiveness. He steps even closer, towering over you. "You trust me, don't you?" he asks, his voice low and serious.

You nod again, quicker this time

“Of course sensei!”

Gojo's expression softens at your response, a small smile forming on his lips. He reaches out and places a hand on your cheek, his touch firm yet oddly comforting. "Good," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "Then you need to understand something. I won't let anyone hurt you. Not the higher-ups, not your fellow students, and certainly not any curses that come crawling out of hell."

That’s offensive… he knows you can fight right?

“I can fight... Ill be okay…” you reassure him.

Gojo scoffs, his grip on your face tightening slightly. "You can fight, I know that. But sometimes, even the strongest fighters need a bit of backup, someone to watch their back and make sure they don't bite off more than they can chew."

You push his hand off your face. “ You won't always be there…” you frown.

This is all so overwhelming.

Gojo's smile falters slightly as you push his hand away. A flicker of annoyance passes over his face, but he quickly composes himself. "Maybe, maybe not," he admits, his voice cool and calculated. "But what happens when I'm not there? When you're facing something bigger than you can handle, and there's nobody around to save you? You might be talented Y/N, but talent alone won't keep you alive forever."

“I'll manage... “ You scoff.

This is starting to get really overwhelming. You start to walk away Gojo is irritating you right now.

Gojo's eyes narrow as you begin to walk away. He steps in front of you, blocking your path, a hint of irritation in his voice as well. "You'll manage, huh? You think you can handle whatever comes your way, all on your own?"

You look up at him and shrug. “I'm just like every other student! I'll be fine!”

Gojo scoffs, clearly not amused by your nonchalant attitude. "You're not like every other student. You're special, and you know it. That power of yours...it sets you apart, whether you want it to or not. So don't go around pretending like you're just another face in the crowd."

“Like you? You think I'm like you is that what it is?” You point a finger at him.

Gojo's expression darkens, his eyes narrowing at your accusation. He steps forward, looming over you, his voice low and dangerous. "No. I don't think you're like me. You're far more powerful than I ever was at your age. That's what worries me. You're a ticking time bomb, and if you don't learn to control that power of yours, it's going to explode and take you down with it. And I'm not going to let that happen."

This is all to much!

You need to get him away.

You go to shove Gojo, extending both your arms.

His infinity stops you.

You start to push hard.

You feel pressure releasing like a balloon.

The colours of the rainbow and light erupt from where your hands are. Hues of blue, red, white, and purple swirl around you.

It’s beautiful.

Gojo's mouth opens slightly.

Then a slow, small smile reaches his face.

It pops. His infinity is gone.

Your hands now touch the fabric of his shirt.

It’s quiet now, for a moment. Just like how it was yesterday when it happened the very first time.

“Now now,” Gojo starts “That wasn’t very polite” Gojo looks amused.

You just stand there, touching the fabric of his uniform.

You feel the familiar presence of someone behind you. You turn your head…

It’s Megumi.

Fuck.

“Well, this just got interesting…” Gojo says, as he softly grabs your wrists.

Megumi is completely shocked mouth agape.

Just your luck huh?

[thefrontofmymind]

Unknown (matty healy x reader)*

WARNINGS: THIS IS SMUT, IF I FIND OUT A MINOR READS THIS IM TELLING UR PARENTS

a/n: this is a part 2 to all things end, this one is based off of the song unknown by hozier. listen to it, it's such a good song

You spent months living your life before you let yourself think about him again. You were invited to a dinner party at the Hann’s, it would’ve been weird if he wasn’t invited. You were thinking of it as something of a preemptive strike against yourself–finally thinking through and addressing your relationship with Matty. 

It’d been easy so far, he’d been away on tour so things in your flat were like they always were, apart from the day after you knew they’d all gotten back when George showed up to your flat, asking for some of his things. You let him take most of Matty’s things, from a list you saw he was reading off of from a text on his phone–a guitar he particularly loved, some of his clothes he didn’t pack for tour, and his stack of full notebooks he’d compiled over the years. He let you keep all the records housed in a floor-to-ceiling shelf in your living room. You knew there were some especially rare ones in the collection, ones you knew he tracked down after years and years of looking.

You decided the best way to really digest everything you’d hid away in a locked-up cupboard in your mind was to write a letter. You didn’t go into it thinking you’d ever give it to him, but you just wanted to write down all the things you wish you could say to him, so you could start again with a clean slate of sorts.

Dear Matty,

To start out this letter, I should tell you that, even now, I think I’ll always love you. Of course you knew this from our last proper conversation, but it’s still true now over 2 months later. We did so much together, you’ll always have a piece of my heart, and I hope mine your’s.

I try not to think about you when I see the ashtray I made for you during that week of quarantine when I got really into pottery. It still sits at its home on the window sill of the bathroom. I try not to turn my head too quickly when I’m out in public and I hear a Northern man speaking behind me. I don’t think I can ever watch True Romance again without thinking about my favourite song, I don’t think I could listen to Fugazi again without thinking of that goddamn t-shirt you wore until it was covered in holes.

I never said it enough, but I’m still so proud of you. For everything. You are a true image of dreams being accomplished, you’re basically a legend in the making. I know you never liked me inflating your ego too much, but I hope you’ll take this compliment at least this once.

This could be misconstrued as a little selfish, but I hope you’re hurting as much as I have been. I hope you struggle to think of me, I hope you reminisce on the good times and dwell on the tough times. I don’t know where you’re staying at the moment, I’m still getting all your mail so you mightn’t have gotten a new place yet, so you’re probably staying with George or someone, but I hope there’s things that remind you of me. Like those cufflinks I bought you for the first of your birthdays we spent together or when you see a movie on Netflix you know I love.

I hope that when we see each other again, there’s not a shred of any contempt in my heart. We don’t have to be friends, but it would kill me if we couldn’t even speak.

Love From Me

As you folded it and slid it into an envelope you felt so much lighter. And with it placed at the bottom of the drawer of your nightstand, you felt like you could breathe freely–for the first time in months.

Now you just had to face him. A task easier said than done, even with your previous exercise, it was a bandaid that made the pain bearable.

The evening of the dinner, you made sure to look your best. Not for Matty, no. You needed to show everyone else that you were fine–you were sure Matty had told them all about what happened, and the only one of his bandmates you’d spoken to was George. It was a shock when you got the text from Carly asking if you were free, you thought the end of your relationship with Matty would mean the end of your friendship with the people around him. Not to say you weren’t pleasantly surprised, just a little bit caught off guard.

You did a quick once-over before you headed out the door, and in the least self-conceited way, you’d never looked hotter. Your makeup was perfect, your hair had that fluffy, 90s supermodel look, and you were wearing a dress that fit you like a glove, in a colour that was the perfect compliment to your glowing skin.

On the drive there you were trying to psych yourself up. It wasn’t a big deal…You could do this. Even as you were walking towards the front door and you could hear laughs inside, you kept telling yourself you would be okay…even if you didn’t believe it all that much.

Only about a second after you pressed the doorbell, you were greeted with the sight of the one, the only Jamie Squire.

“How are you, kid?” He asked excitedly, giving you a friendly hug.

“Oh…You know,” you answered. Because he most certainly did know. You held up the mid-priced bottle of red wine you brought. “Where should this go?”

“Oh Carly’s in the kitchen,” he said.

You were glad to see Carly alone in the kitchen, checking on whatever meal was in the oven. She was just as dolled up as you–you were glad you wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb.

“Carls!” You called to her as you entered the kitchen.

She excitedly turned and gave you a hug, and gave you a compliment on your makeup. You were always grateful for the friendship between The 1975’s WAGs, past and present.

“So where’s the little rockstar?” You asked, you always loved spending time with Baby Hann, as one of his godparents you’d spent many days playing along with any game he could come up with–which were becoming more and more inventive as he got older.

“He’s at Ad’s parents’,” she answered, you frowned. “Hey, we need a night off every so often!”

“I know…I know…” You joked as you poured a glass from the bottle you brought. “Well then where’s your lovely husband? Need to tell him he should help out his wife.”

“He’s in the living room with everyone else…” She got quiet at the end of her sentence.

“Hey,” you said in a serious tone. “It’s okay, I can be around him.”

“You’re sure?”

“I think.” You laughed.

“If you say so…” She went back to preparing some kind of sauce on the stovetop, leaving you to wade into the unknown. 

You followed the noise of laughter and talking. You were greeted with the sight of George standing in front of everyone else, telling some insane story of his–and the band’s–youth. He trailed off mid-sentence when you entered, and his audience all whipped their heads around to look at the interruption.

Immediately everyone stood, each taking turns to greet you with a polite hug. Last was Matty, he hung back as everyone else said hello. You were so distracted you didn’t notice him at first, but when you did, it was clear how he’d been doing. His hair was longer than before, but not in a way that seemed like he was trying to grow it out, he had a light sprinkle of stubble, and the suit he wore–a staple for him recently–was wrinkled and it looked just a little too big on him.

You politely gave him a kiss on the cheek. You were engulfed in the scent of his cologne, a scent you didn’t realise you missed so dearly.

“How are you, love?” He asked. Love. Sometimes things don’t change, you thought.

“I’m alright,” you said with a bright facade. “Busy with work.”

“Good! Me too,” he answered.

Soon you were whisked away by whomever wanted to talk to you next, not even given an opportunity to say goodbye.

And that was how it went for most of the evening, you’d somehow end up standing next to each other, and someone would intervene. You couldn’t blame your friends, they just wanted to minimise the tension, but there was nothing that could be done about your heart shattering more and more every time you got a look at him.

It got later into the night, and soon the group began to get thinner and thinner. At just a few stragglers left, you saw Matty in the back garden, smoking a cigarette and scrolling through his phone. It was time.

Maybe it was the bottle of wine giving you the courage, but you knew you couldn’t end the night without a proper conversation with Matty, it would be just plain rude not to.

He didn’t react at hearing the clunk of your heels on the wooden deck he was sitting on, only when you sat down right next to him. All he did was offer you a drag of his cigarette which you took, like old times.

“I’m glad you came,” he said after you handed the ciggie back to him. “Here, I mean.”

“Me too…” You answered. “Was a fun night.”

“Did you see how pissed Charli was?” He smiled. “G had to carry her to the car.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” you laughed. “So…uh…where are you staying at the moment?”

“I’ve been bouncing around…” He answered. “Here for tonight.”

You nodded. He seemed quite content to keep scrolling on his phone in silence, but you didn’t want to quit.

“Do you think we could be friends?” You asked. “One day, I mean…eventually.”

Matty looked at you–properly–for the first time since you sat down. “I hope so. Just…”

“What?”

“I need to get over some stuff before that,” he said, nonchalantly, stubbing out his cigarette on the wood of the deck. “Like…I don’t think I’ll ever love someone the way I love you. Like ever.”

Your heart sank at the admission. Everything you’d done to prepare yourself to face him calmly suddenly went out the window.

“Then what are we doing?”

He looked confused by your question.

“Why are we both miserable and just not doing anything about it? Why did we decide to split up if this was how it would end up?”

You were admittedly a bit drunker than you realised at first, you’d never have as much courage to talk to him about all this if you were completely sober.

“Because…” He started. “We run our course.”

“Who says?” You could feel something–Anger? Passion?–bubbling up. “Why should we suffer doing something that neither of us really want? Why were we so rash with all this?”

That last question was more to yourself, why did you give up so easily? You could see Matty’s eyes had a slight gloss to them, yours matched them.

“I don’t know.” Was all he said. And it was enough to solidify your decision of what you were about to do.

You began to lean forward, strong eye contact between the two of you. Matty met you in the middle and before you knew it you were engulfed in the warmth of his kiss, now letting the tears flow freely. It was some kind of cathartic release, all pent up over the last few months.

You didn’t break away until you were in desperate need of air. You both caught your breaths, just staring at each other. Eventually Matty let out a small chuckle.

“What?” You asked, confused but matching his grin.

“Was just thinking…” He started. “I’m supposed to stay here tonight…And I don’t know how I’m gonna sneak out to spend the night with you.”

You laughed. “Well that’s very presumptuous of you.”

“Well I know my audience…” He quipped. It was true, he knew the kind of person you were, as evident when you brought him back to your flat after your first proper date and silently begged him not to judge you–which he didn’t.

You both sat in silence for a little while, a comfortable silence. You didn’t want to go back inside, you felt safe in just Matty’s presence. But you were thinking, how would you explain this to everyone? Simple, you didn’t have to. As much as you loved the band and everyone that came along with them–your family–you did like being alone some of the time. And you thought it best to be alone right now.

“Well I’m going home,” you said, standing up.

“What do I do?” He asked.

“I don’t know! Come up with some excuse! Like you need another pack of fags or something!”

“Carly doesn’t like me smoking here! I had to sneak that one!” He pointed to the butt that was sitting crumbled on the deck next to him.

You sighed. “Just come up with something?”

He laughed. “I’ll try…”

You bid a farewell to the last of the group, and thanked the wonderful couple for hosting. As you turned the ignition of your car, a sense of excitement ran through you. You felt like a teenager again, sneaking around with a boy that made you giddy.

When you got back to your flat, you hurriedly tidied as best you could; making your bed, drying and putting away the dishes you’d left on the sink. When you finally had the time to get a look at yourself in the mirror and saw the sight before you, you quickly refreshed your makeup, fixing your smudged lipstick and creased concealer.

And then you waited on your sofa, after you poured yourself a glass of wine to keep your fearlessness going. Time ticked by ever so slowly. You must’ve checked your phone about two hundred times over the course of about 50 minutes. Eventually you heard a series of rapid knocks at your door, it could only be him. As soon as you opened the door his lips were on yours, feverish and rough.

“What took so long?” You asked in between kisses.

“Had to wait for everyone to leave…” Another kiss. “And then for Hann and Carly to go to bed.”

You just smiled. You had the adrenaline of a horny teenager.

In a flurry of clothes being stripped off between biting, hot kisses, you made your way to your bedroom. A task that was easy for Matty, purely for muscle memory.

There was no need to warm up to it. You straddled Matty and engulfed him in another kiss that almost made you melt.

“You want me to wear a condom?” He asked in a string of breaths, trying not to focus on the heat radiating from you on his thighs.

“I know I’m still clean, are you?”

“Of course.” Was his way of saying there’d been nobody else, An admission that made you beam.

You took gentle hold of his cock, running your thumb over the tip and eliciting a moan from him. And even more as you slowly lowered down on him. It felt comfortable, like home.

As you began to bounce, keeping firm eye contact with Matty, you could feel a bubble start to form in your abdomen. 

You felt your spine turn to jelly when Matty placed two firm fingers on your clit, massaging it in a familiar pattern that you hadn’t felt in months. You were rapidly approaching the edge.

“Ma–Baby…” You began to get out. “Al-almost there…”

“Do you want me on top?” He asked, you nodded.

In a flash, Matty readjusted you so you were laying on top of the mattress, lifting your hips up just a little so he could hit that spot, over and over and over again.

You were biting your lip to stop from letting out the most guttural moan, you just about drew blood. But you just couldn’t hold it in any longer.

Once Matty had hit your g-spot one last time, you just unravelled underneath him. He kept thrusting as you ran out your high, but it wasn’t long before he was emptying into you and collapsing next to you.

In a hazy silence, you both were laid on your bed–yours and his–catching your breaths. After a few minutes of recovery, you sat up a little to look at Matty. He was staring at the ceiling with the biggest smile you’d ever seen on him.

“You alright there?” You asked, with a smile of your own.

“Yeah just…” He took a second to gather his thoughts. “Just really, really happy.”

“Me too.”

The rest of your evening–in a word–was still. You were sat in bed, now under the covers with legs intertwined, just talking. Talking about anything, everything, what you missed out on each other’s lives in the past couple months.

But there was one thing you wanted to tell him–needed to tell him. It was whispering at you from the drawer of your nightstand.

“I have something for you,” you said.

“Oh?” Matty asked with a smile as turned away from him to retrieve the envelope. “Is it a good something or a bad something?”

“Good, I think.” You handed him the envelope that had ‘to Matty’ scrawled on the front. “I wrote it a couple days ago, I just wanted to get all my feelings out.”

As he opened the envelope and quickly scanned the paper within, he got the memo. “A letter for me?”

“You don’t have to read it, or if you want to I can leave the room if that makes it easier…”

“No, you don’t have to…” He said with urgency. “Just sit with me?”

You nodded and shimmied closer to him as he read. It took a couple minutes, after he was done, he folded it back up and placed it on the nightstand on his side of the bed. You finally looked at him, he had tears in his eyes.

“I…” He said shakily. “I love you so much. And I’m never letting you go again.”

[spiralescalators]

episode 8!!

- his secret is going to change to her secret at the end mark my words

- i was burning insideeeeee stop

- ok this is embarrassing but great yes keep talking

- nooo birthday gift gate is so sad, be nice to your mom seunghyo

- this dad is so boring. Everyone needs to get drunk and yell in this house like seungryos family

- omggggg these kids are sooo everything to me they really sell it. Baby seungryo is the cutest thing I’ve seen

- hahaha this is like one of us from mamma mia! 2 here we go again love

- I support her right to look cute bc she wants to but her dress was prettier yesterday

- their banter is everything I hope they don’t stop talking again

- lmao expiration date lovelovelove

- she’s down bad

- is this shop lady a cameo? I don’t know her but still I laughed

- I’ve got butterflies too omg

- these pushups are embarrassing get up. Idk why but I really can’t stand Mr reporter

- the return of the English 🙄 please not again

- this crop sweater is very weird

- fuck off ex bf. u can’t do this. Also he’s so boring do something interesting with ur face

- who’s gonna drink this auspicious milk by accident. Chekhov’s expiration milk

- this argument is needed, let’s clear the parenting air. No no what do I mean live like me???? Guys no this is bad

- yes dads! Let’s get emotionally vulnerable

- ok im bored now, lily of the valley we get it

- idk what’s going on with this sickness argument. Seems like a portent of bad things to come

- no I don’t like this love triangle vibe. Get out of here Mr guy

- moms friends sons ex girlfriend is so hot

- yes boy! The reason I can’t be seokryos friend isn’t bc she’s a women it’s bc she’s seokryo yes yes yes yes

- wait she still didn’t tell her parents about cooking

- oh this is a shit show

- 😬

- dongjin now is not the time go to your room

- she’s such a dream girl

- so this is why he’s got a kitchen

- idc about the paramedic news story

- divorce :(

- this guy can’t walk around without thinking about her. Oh no Mr man step off. We’ll serve you with love and care no thank you

- haha seunghyo killing this man in his mind during a meeting

- wtf contrivance rat poison?

- oh no these guys don’t have business talking without her

- this is #uncomfortable guys get out of the kitchen

- shut up about healthy shit shut up ahhhhhh toy story ahhhhhhhhh get fucked Mr us

- love moeums dinner sweater. Love her. She could have easily been the lead of this show actually #i t g I r l

- “I’ve never seen her impressed with a real man”moeum lesbian confirmed.

- ideal relationship? Then why’s it over?

- no no no no sickness no no no no

- ah fuck.

- hate x20000000000000

- seung hyo 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[zimablue2]

Good job on going gym! Gains are coming. 

Hmm yeah Surry hills is quite an interesting area. A lot of old factory warehouse style buildings. Wonder if there are any churches around.. oh yeah I forgot to carry on our conversation about how I used to live in Surry hills when I first moved to Sydney so I know it quite well. Fitzy and Rogan used to live there with a few girls in this terrace house on South Dowling street just off Oxford street and I crashed there for a couple months while trying to find a place to rent coz one of their flat mates were in Europe. Lots of good memories in that house. Oh, how different my perspective and understanding of Sydney was back then. Just a small town kid in the big smoke with blissful ignorance and unwavering confidence. They used to always throw huge parties (usually dress up). A lot of the nz boys would come to them when we were all tighter. So many random people, always a dj and smoke machine, laser lights.. Like project x vibes. That’s actually when we first became friends wit Henry (well fitzy did, the friendly cunt. I always thought he was an pompous fuckwit until later lol).

my days been all good. I’ve got the same client from Melbourne the whole week so just working on this Jap leg sleeve. Went gym this morning even tho I was sleepy coz I woke up at 5am from a really nice dream. And couldn’t get back to sleep for an hour. You know how I said I’ve been having really vivid, long dreams where like every moment and conversations play out in real time? Yeah well I was at uni in the morning tryna shoot some hoops before my classes but then realised my ankle was fucked so I just stood around judging the other players haha. Then u appeared from the gym. We were supposed to go to class but I said fuck school, we’re too smart anyway, it’s a marvellous day. You said yeah let’s go to the beach. So we caught this shuttle bus to the beach. We were having great and funny conversations as per usual. I remember us talking about twins. How there’s always one normal, better looking one and one weirder less attractive one and how everyone always likes the better looking one at first but then realise the weird socially awkward one is always cooler hahaha. Anyway, we get to this beach - I’ve never seen it before. It was like in this cove. Surrounded by tropical trees. Not very big, with a long wooden wharf. It was quite busy but the sun started setting so people started leaving and was quiet. Both our phones ran out of battery. We walk into the water. Me behind you holding your hips. Your wearing that new bikini you bought. I can’t remember what I was saying in your ear (probably something cheeky and perverted lol) but my head was over your shoulder and I could feel ur hair on my face and the setting sun on my skin. I tell you to lay back so your floating and I’m by your side holding you up. And we were just there, present, still, calm, everything ahead of us.. we talked about how we were gonna move to Paris next year and live a exhilarating vagabond life across Europe chasing the sun. All the good food and wine we would have. 

I hope you have a good catch up with Gael. Say hi to her from me 😂. I hope she’s alright. U know me and Rogan were speaking about what a weird stage of life this is. Overwhelming at times. Everything is changing. But in the grand scheme of things it’s only the beginning.. c'est la vie and all that shit. I hope you have a beautiful night and don’t get blown away in the wind u crane hahaha 😘

[kokokichichi]

normalize not blaming ccs for everything their fanbase does esp if their fanbase is batshit crazy

[lucifersglasses]

Obey Me Brothers Sleeping Headcanon!!

   Lucifer -This only happens if you can get this workaholic in bed in the first place.. And usually he will give in since he wants to big spoon you. Yes. He’s a big spoon. He wants to be the dominant one and protect you (But sometimes will let you spoon him but shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) -His voice.. *Chefs Kiss* is sooooooo soothing, you can practically fall asleep in less than a minute. (I’m sorry his voice is just so calming and attractive- SORRY LMAOOO) -He tends to be very still when he sleeps, I mean STiLL (You wonder if he’s dead or something) -Your sleeping position is either A: He will hug you from behind and breathe in your neck all night, or B: He will lay down flat on his back like usual and have his arm out and keep you in place, while your head is on his chest. -Mutters nonsense in his sleep sometimes, he muttered something about you in his sleep one time and it was so sweet..~ -He doesn’t know, but you somehow recorded it for yourself only. (He did like a whole speech, hmmmm wonder what his dream was about) -The temperature in his room.. I feel like his preferred temperature would be the cold. His room gives huge cold vibes, so bring extra blankets!!! -Usually falls asleep after you do, but if it was a harsh day he will automatically pass out. -Your the only person he will show being vulnerable to, he trusts you and is so soft for you :) Mammon -You IN HIS BED!? WHAT A DREAM COME TRUE! -In with the idea but super flustered and nervous of you both sharing a bed for the first time. -Just letting you know, he is a huge cuddle bug, and his temperature is warmmmm so you probably won’t need any blankets.. unless he somehow hoards them all -_- -His room would be cold, so MAKE SURE HE DOESN’T HOARD!! -Oh he loves the big spoon yes.. but might want to be the little spoon some if he had a rough day.. poor baby always getting insulted by his brothers ;-; -Warning 1 y’all aren’t waking up in the same position ur sleeping in, you will both be scattered on the bed by morning, or on the floor LMAOOO -Warning 2 he drools.. so maybe try not to have him near your hair or whatever lol -Warning 3 he may snore too, so bring earplugs just in case. -Other than that, he loves to cuddle you, and talk to you while you both fall asleep, it’s like a fantasy he’s wanted forever. -You both like to talk before going to bed and it's usually for a couple hours or more since you both really enjoy eachothers company. -He falls asleep first, don’t ask, he just falls asleep first for some reason. -Also pillow fights occur usually before going to bed XDDD Levi -’AHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY S/O IS SLEEPING WITH ME-’ //////// -This man is flustered and rambling all over the place.. -First: he has never slept in the same bed bathtub with someone before- -Second: He is nervous about messing up and you think he is weird or creepy. -And Finally: He is scared about his appearance. -We all know he is super insecure and wants the best for you, REASSURE HIM EVERYTHING IS A-OKKKK. -He sleeps in a damn bathtub.. so at best yall cuddling all night. (Guys imma be honest, his room looks really cool to sleep in, the aquarium and the jellyfish) -Levi would be such a switch between spooning or you spooning him, it's honestly your call if you want to be a small or big spoon. -Last to go to bed, he plays games all night and you best be joining him half of the time. -But he will try to be quiet and play more of a chill game if you had a bad day or just cuddle with you to make sure your ok ;-; -You both have definitely built a pillow fort for a little game date night, maybe more ;) -Pillow Fights occur too! - Overall one of the best cuddlers or best for you to cuddle with since our Otaku is adorable. Satan -Probably one of the most chill to sleep with out of everyone besides Belphie. -He is a bit flustered, but has always wanted to sleep with you and hold you. -Always last to go to bed since he reads for about an hour before he does so, unless you're a bookworm like he is. -Satan loves being a big spoon and having you in his arms.Yall’s sleeping position would definitely be you on top of him with your head in his chest. OMG- I bet he also loves to stroke/ play with your hair before going to sleep- ^^^ -I see his room to be cold, so.. BLANKETS! - He definitely snuck some cats to sleep with and cuddle amongst you both and the blankets and pillows. - And half of the time, you wake up with a book on your head XD -If you had a bad day, he is always there to listen to you, and will read to you if you’d like. -Honestly, the sweetest most considerate partner to sleep with, and will always respect you and big spoon you. Asmo -”Oh MC~ your in for a treat” -Oh you were.. This man has plans before going to bed, going to bed, and waking up- -He already had this  planned. I bet you both do some pedicures, facemasks, paint yalls nails, etc, before going to bed, and he will make sure of it. (Unless you had a bad day) -He is such a big spoon, will cuddle into your chest, may give a few pecks there too. -He adores you and loves sleeping with you, he has many fantasies on what he wants to do and try out. -He puffs while he sleeps and it's very cute ^^, but might snore- rarely tho and do not tell him because he will always deny it. -I feel like you both would do pajama runway, if you're both too tired then just face masks and watch a rom com. -Likes room temperature at exactly 71. I don't know why but he says it's the perfect temperature but it is. -You both love pillows, stuffed animals, and wearing onesies. XDD -He wants you to feel good and feel amazing around him, he just wants the best for you and cuddle with you <3. Beel -Doesn’t even blush, he is just excited and has a cute grin on his face- awwwwww ^^. -He is a cuddler, so make sure he doesn’t squeeze the life out of you. XD -You both definitely watch movies and eat snacks before going to bed. If not then you both just cuddle and talk for a little bit about the day and tomorrow and much more! -He loves pillows so you both have lots of pillows in bed, and most of them are food pillows LMAO- -Sleeping position would probably be him big spooning you with his face in your hair, he loves the shampoo scent in your hair, it's calming to him. -He is very warm, so make sure the room temperature is pretty cold so you don’t overheat LMAO- -Sometimes Belphie will join you too and sleep with yall since you both are fun to cuddle with or be near, it's comforting to him. -Beel loves cuddling and sleeping with you overall, very sweet and such a cuddler. Belphie -YeS.. literally wanted this since the beginning. -Right when you even mention the idea he grabs you and cuddles you like his life depends on it. -He loves big spooning you and being spooned at the same time- -CuDDLes are his favorite thing in all of devildom, the celestial realm, human world, please give him the best cuddles. ^^ -You both have definitely used dream potions to be in each other's dreams and explore around them together. -NO ALARM CLOCKS ALLOWED, JUST NO.. Wake up late so you both can be in each others arms still and not be disturbed. -Don’t even ask, yall have done basically everything, pillow forts, onesies, pillow and blanket marathon, you name it. -He likes the temperature cold, meaning A: Having you closer in his arms, and B: More blankets and pillows. -He really doesn’t care what position yall sleep in, he just wants to be at least touching you. -There’s one warning though, he drools. -Overall, Loves sleeping with you, it's his favorite activity and time of day ever.

[simplylupin]

the fruity four as things my friends have said

eddie: is a back or neck more attractive i need to know everyone’s opinions

GUYS 

THIS IS IMPORTANT CMON

robin: neck.

eddie: wtf neck???

back is superior 

steve: mate a back is a back y’know?

actually idk

nancy: neither are particularly attractive 

steve: i feel like necks if they’re a bit “odd” it’s more insignificant than backs 

cause when a backing is backing...

damn

robin: backing 😭

eddie: no i get exactly what you mean

nancy: what the fuck

~ 

steve: orgasms or music

eddie: music

steve: priorities 

eddie: good music is an orgasm 

~

robin: i just choked 

nancy: oh-

are you...

okay??

robin: i am now

but like i wasn’t 

~ robin: i don’t understand how there has been 360000+ births today 

like that doesn’t compute in my brain

how do 360000+ people have the same birthday ugh i hate that

~

robin: u had a fucking dream about me getting mauled by an alligator-

and stood by with no emotion-

eddie: it was a dream?? i can’t control it 🤨🤨🤨

robin: yeah but it feels personal that u and steve lived but i got chomped

also steve wtf??

why didn’t u jump in and save me?!

steve: eddies dream!!! he’s the mean one

nancy: i had a dream where eddie killed us all

robin: realistic 

~ eddie: would smash

would show u my neck

robin: 😭😭

eddie: lol ofc robin shows up as soon as i mention necks

robin: stfu

eddie: no???

~ robin: vapes are extremely unattractive 

like ew

nancy: especially elf bars

if you’re going to vape at least be eco friendly 

~ 

robin: “i don’t like when everything is grey”

“is that racist to grey people?” - steve

steve: i was talking about vampires.

robin i hate you 

~ eddie: steve 🤤🥵🥵🥵🥵

nancy: .....

robin: what.

eddie: he’s doing the thirst trap pose rn

arm out holding himself up

🤤🤤🤤🥵🥵🥵

steve: eddie.

eddie: what daddy? 🤤🤤

SORRY ABABHABA 

i am so sorry

~ eddie: it’s the full moon tonight don’t wanna make daddy werewolf mad

ew

sorry that was

no

robin: BHAHAHAHAHA I HAD TO TAKE A MOMENT THERE

nancy: eddie u need to touch some proper christian grass- 

steve: i am

horrified 

~

eddie: IM FUCIGNJRNG

GUYS

THERES A FAT SPIDER

RIGHT BY MY BED

IM NOT EVEN KIDDING

nancy: get wayne 😭

robin: photographic evidence or ur lying

*photographic evidence*

robin: EW WTF NO ITS ONE OF THE WEIRD ONES WITH UNNECESSARY LONG LEGS

eddie: I just panicked so hard

woke up steve and he got it 😍😍😍

i can’t fall asleep now wtf

I CAN FEEL IT EVERYWHERE

~ 

robin: i hate honeymoons

eddie: same

robin: just happy couples boning 24/7

eddie: it’s just an excuse for rich people to splash out and have sex in public places 

~ nancy: GUYS WTF MY MUM IS ON MY FYP 😭😭😭😭

robin: WHATSBSBAH

steve: what

nancy: APPARENTLY MIKE HAS A TIKTOK???

steve: WHAT

nancy: wtf why does mike have better legs than me

eddie: HELP THIS IS SO FUNNY HIS ACCOUNT IS GOLD

robin: how many followers does he have?

nancy: 65 lmaooooo

eddie: 66 now 😍

nancy: EDDIE NO

UNFOLLOW HIM

HE’LL HATE ME FOREVER

eddie: no

~ 

steve: i’m just trying to eat my fruit in peace 💔

eddie: oh

what fruit might that be ;))))))

steve: oh my lord

[aspoonfuloffiction]

We truly are interested in that theory. Spill the beans pls!!!

*whispers* share ur theory

SPILL!!

What's the theory.......😫

Well now you got me curious lol. Why would kathony fans care what they decide to do with Polin next season?

What's your theory??? (On s3)

Would love to hear your Polin theory S3 😁

I want to hear your s3 Polin theory that will make certain parts of the fandom rage!

OK FINE

And this isn’t even all of them! But fine FINE I’ll tell you! But don’t blame me if its not as salacious as you’re expecting. But if people get mad at me I am blaming you people.

The single most unrealistic thing in season 2 more than anything else has always been that Portia “marry my daughter off to her cousin” Featherington would walk into a closed room, find her unmarried daughter alone with a man, and a Bridgerton no less, the exact Bridgerton that had slighted her family last season in fact, and not scream and demand they get married.

Even if the Bridgerton name wasn’t doing so hot at the time. Portia would not lose out a chance like that. Never.

So that has always been in the back of my head. And when I was trying to figure out how they’d tell Polin’s story without a massive time jump, while also addressing LW and Peneloise. The only thing I could come up with was a marriage of convenience. And it would tie into that kind of plot hole.

Either Penelope and Colin are found in another locked closed room, OR what I think is more likely is Penelope is outed as Lady Whistledown. Her writings and motivations are out there and Penelope at 19 is far past ruined. Colin now knowing that the LW that wrote the article that kept him from marrying Marina under false pretenses and “saved” (My opinions on the Marina situation are clear I think Penelope did the absolute wrong thing and should be held accountable for it but this is from Colin’s POV) him, offers to marry her. This is like episode 2/3 tops.

At first they are simply two friends in this weird quasi marriage that neither of them really know what to do with its very chaste seperate bedrooms situation. They’re young they literally just think they’re playing house. This is also where you seed in Penelope and Eloise’s relationship and how the show wants to try to fix it.

And during this you finally have Colin start to see Penelope as a woman and not Pen. They talk about writing and traveling over dinners, maybe he tells her about her travel journals. He’s shocked at how much he likes being around her. But Penelope has resigned herself to this loveless sham of a marriage. So she tries to make the best of it kind of trying to improve her life-being Mrs Bridgerton now she feels freer etc. And shes not really paying attention to Colin.

And so you have Colin in his “am I falling for my wife?” era famously from TVWLM for episodes 5-6. But he doesn’t think Penelope sees him as such so its just two people awkwardly trying not to tell the other that maybe they might not just want to be friends in a weird marriage. Until everything bubbles over they’re both like wtf and have sex. The carriage scene from the books even.

Episode 7 is them now trying to reconcile having had sex with still thinking the other doesn’t like them like that. But of them having enjoyed it aren’t sure how to cope and maybe they have sex again. Maybe even with a mirror? And now they’re like we are two friends who are married and have sex this is totally normal.

And then I think we bring the story to a close with some version of Colin, thinking Penelope is going to leave, or the Queen is going to punish her having decided that the social ostracism wasn’t enough, rushes in and as publicly as he said he would never dream to court Penelope Featherington. Tells Penelope Bridgerton he is in love with her in front of everyone.

Aaaaannnddd scene.

Do I think this will happen? No. My theories are always wrong. Literally you all saw my season two predictions post I was embarrassingly wrong. But its the only way that I could come up with to hit all the points with Polin that I think you need to for the story without the benefit of a buffer season 3.

It’s controversial because it borrows from the plot of TVWLM and crucially the part they cut for S2 that I think people miss the most. Its my favorite part of that book and why I loved Kanthony in the books but I know why that would not translate well on the show. Here I think it has a better chance.

But yeah thats it. Its not that crazy. But I hope yall are happy😂

[ptergwen]

Hey! I was wondering if you could do a fluffy type thing based on the gif of ur navigation page. Ya know the scene in the movie where he can see whos doing what on their phones? and maybe the reader is like talking about their crush on him? i think tht woukd be a rly cool concept. but you dont have to do it if you dont want to :)

this is really cute omg i never would’ve thought of it either :,)

i couldn’t find the gif in question but close enough

“i have access to the entire stark global security network, including multiple defense satellites,” edith tells peter as he looks around the bus through his glasses. “as well as back doors to all major telecommunication networks,” she adds on. peter’s eyes go wider, images of his classmates’ and teachers’ phones popping up.

“woah,” he mumbles to himself. he can see people’s texts, google searches, everything. peter can’t help but be curious about what you’re up to. you’re sitting alone and kind of hunched over in your seat, so he assumes your phone is out. that gives him an idea.

“um, edith?” peter asks for his new... friend. she responds almost immediately. “yes, peter?” “what’s y/n doing?” your picture, name, and a view of your screen show up in his glasses. “i can’t believe that worked” he mutters and glances over at you again in person. you sit a few rows ahead of him.

he’d wanted to sit with you for the ride, but dimitri wouldn’t let him. something about blowing his cover.

peter focuses in on your screen again. you’re texting mj, in long paragraphs, and her messages back are just as lengthy. it seems like it’s a pretty personal conversation. maybe he shouldn’t be snooping on you. “edith, could you-“ his heart beats a little faster when he sees his name come up. he’s technically not snooping if it’s about him.

“yes, peter?” edith prompts him. “never mind,” he dismisses her, wanting to find out why he was mentioned. he sneaks a quick peek at mj to make sure she hasn’t caught on. she has a habit of always being in his business. she’s across the bus with brad next to her, so she hasn’t picked up on the fact that peter is watching you two.

chewing on your bottom lip, you type out your next message. peter jumps in his seat as it flashes across the screen.

you

i really like him and i thought he liked me too but he’s been kind of like... idk avoiding me the whole trip?

“i’m not avoiding her!” peter whisper yells, biting the inside of his cheek while he waits for mj to reply. it then hits him what you said in the first part. you like him. not just like him, really like him. he could pass out right now and call this a dream. he’s been crushing on you for a while, but he was too scared to say something. this is definitely a confidence booster.

mj

wdym avoiding you? he’s been ditching the whole class y/n/n. kinda sus if u ask me

you

stopppp 😭 maybe he has something going on bc he’s been weird since before we left

mj

uh he’s been weird his whole life

peter purses his lips at that, eyebrows furrowed in offense. he can’t believe nick fury is ruining his love life. or, the potential of him having a love life. you could’ve been cuddled up next to him and listening to music together right now. he’d made a playlist for the trip of both your favorite songs, that specific reason being why.

but, no. nothing that isn’t superhero related can ever go peter’s way. he’s had enough of fury and his team controlling him.

you

i don’t wanna get dramatic or whatever but should i just give up? if peter is busy i don’t wanna overwhelm him

“thanks, edith. you can stop showing me now,” peter decides, getting up from his seat before he loses his nerve to. he makes his way through the aisle and over to you. “i said all kids stay seated!” dimitri scolds him with a stern look through the front mirror. he doesn’t actually care if people get up, he just wants to keep peter away from everyone else. good thing he’s the one driving so he can’t do anything about it.

“sorry!” peter calls back, making you look up from your phone. giving him a lopsided smile, you quickly shut it off. you didn’t expect him to be the rule breaker getting yelled at. “hey,” you greet him. “hey. can i sit with you?” peter smiles back, without the nervousness. he already knows your feelings are mutual.

you scoot closer to the window so there’s more room. “yeah, always.” “thanks,” he breathes out a laugh and takes his seat. “i like your glasses. when did you get those?” you compliment, loving the way the blue frames sit on his face. peter squints at you. “glasses? what glasses- oh.” he’d forgotten to take them off before coming over. great, now he needs an excuse.

“they... they, um, at this store in venice...” that’s all he can come up with. you’re guessing the glasses have something to do with his stress lately, and you’re not far off. you let him leave it at that. “well, they look really good on you. really really good,” you laugh and get a laugh of relief out of peter as well. “thank you, y/n/n.” “you’re welcome.” you’re grinning for real now, and being the cause of it makes peter so happy.

he’s ready to shoot his shot.

“do you wanna, um, listen to music with me?” peter asks softly over the loud rumbling of the bus. “i made a playlist... for us.” for us. him coming over here, thinking of you like that, the doubts you were having earlier are starting to fade away. you nod, a giggle slipping out of you. “yeah, we can share my earbuds. thanks, peter.”

you unzip your backpack and grab them, peter biting back another grin. this is working out exactly how he wanted it to. you hold out an earbud to him and put yours in. peter does the same, adjusting his while both of you move in so the wire doesn’t stretch. yup, that’s why. definitely not so you two can be closer.

“can i plug these in?” peter asks, taking the connecting end of the wire. “mhm,” you hum and watch him put it into his phone. he opens up spotify and goes to his playlist, titled with a smiley face and every pink heart emoji. that brings yet another smile to your face. “aw, that’s cute,” you comment, taking a leap of faith and resting your head on peter’s shoulder.

peter hits shuffle and makes a move of his own by resting his head on yours. he lowers the music a bit so he can say something to you, confess to you what he finally has the courage to you. “hey, y/n?” he mumbles, waiting for you to look at him. you already were. “i like you.” you settle into peter even more and let out a content sigh. “i like you, too.”

[har-rison-s]

pray, do tell

request: If you don’t mind me asking, request for Loki asking the other Loki’s if they have a s/o in their timeline during episode 5?

a/n: hi ! i absolutely ADORE this idea and i hope i'll write it out respectfully :)) i loved episode 5 so much, except for SOME scenes, and i especially enjoyed multiple lokis sitting around and talking, chilling, that's like... my dream place to be. YOU DON'T KNOW THE EFFECT PRESIDENT LOKI HAS ON ME. like it should be studied in labs and schools cos ??????? that feeling when he's on screen was just something else. also ! kid loki holding alligator loki my beloved <3. i'd love to be surrounded by lokis, me and loki actually have the same personality type so they're like... my people. sorry for the rant, hahah ! this one is a bit shorter than my other loki works, sorry about that :/ also it took me like 40 minutes to find decent gifs lmao. happy reading !! <3

masterlist

mcu masterlist

warnings: nothing really

disclaimer: lokis mentioned have he/him pronouns !

Weirded out by what he's seeing, and not entirely sure it's real, Loki can't take his eyes off it, either. The way alligator Loki drinks his boxed wine is just so fascinating to him, yet weird and other-wordly (he knows those well) at the same time. And he's weirded out more by the fact that he doesn't find a variant of him being an alligator strange in any way. He's had a few trying days, as he said himself.

Loki manages to divert his eyes off the creature with horns on its head and looks to the grapes he holds in his hand. He picks small dirt away from the berries and takes a grape into his mouth with ease. The taste reminds him of many things. His childhood, his home, his family... Thor, Frigga, Odin, Sif and the Warriors Three. Asgard. The Gardens, the waters, the Bifrost. Heimdall. Visits to the city, the markets, the celebrations.

Love.

Loki blinks, fooling himself and others by aiming to portray that he's not thinking about anything important. But he is. She was the most important thing to him, and now... Well, maybe during the New York heist, she's still fine, but after Ragnarok... Loki fears too much to think about it.

He wishes he could remember everything with her that followed New York, but all he has of their future is some worn-out tape in the TVA archives. Perhaps even pictures... He wants to live through all they had now, he wishes he could do that most of all. Of course, there's the finding Mobius and helping Sylvie burn down the TVA thing, but upon remembering her, it all falls into the background.

His first love. Not a god, like him, but she was a goddess in his eyes. He smiles now, subtly, at the fond memories of her. He noticed the little moments he had with her in the tape Mobius had, about his whole future. How beautiful she always was, her subtle way of laughing and going about her smiles and giggles, how exceptional and different her clothes always were, how her hair shined in any light...

“Did any of you...” Loki starts to say, and sighs shortly before continuing, thinking he'll probably regret asking it, “did any of you leave a... a lover behind when the TVA arrested you? Prince or princess?” He looks between his variants. Young Loki shoots him a stern look. “Apologies, my liege. You seem too young for that.” Loki bids him a polite smile, but his brain whirs. “How long have you been here, anyway?”

“Don't know. Time doesn't really... exist here.” Young Loki says and throws a salt biscuit into alligator Loki's jaws. “But no lovers in my lifetime, Loki.” He pointedly looks at the older variant of himself, nodding slightly.

“Not yet, at least.” Loki points out and gets scoffs and chuckles from Boastful and Classic Loki. He looks at them with a furrowed brow.

“Oh, you and your grand plan,” Classic Loki shakes his head before taking another sip from his huge cup. Loki only rolls his eyes, but still waits for answers to his question, “well,” Classic Loki downs his drink, “it would be no surprise to you that I had countless partners before I chose isolation. Partners of any kind.” He winks. Loki nods, understanding how much alike he truly is with his variants. “But I feel there is no one truly... truly made for me. Like midgardians would say - 'the one'.“

“In my case, there were many 'the ones',” Boastful Loki says, mocking Classic's use of words. All other Lokis roll their eyes, “I actually feel like every person in the whole universe was made to be with me. I'm just that irresistible.” He smiles pleasantly to himself. Alligator Loki growls again.

“That's another “liar” from him to you, Boast,” Classic Loki nods his head towards Boastful, who only shakes his head and frowns.

“I had my fair share of men and women before I was taken,” Boastful says, “must have been the same for you, Loki.” He looks at him. “Asgard was truly a giving place.”

Loki chuckles, but looks away from his variants. “Oh, it was...” he says quietly, “it was.” His voice grows even more quiet. Young and Classic Loki exchange a look.

“Do tell us, your mischievousness.” Classic Loki urges him. Loki shoots him a nervous look, then he leans back into the sofa and sighs, his eyes strictly focused on his hands.

“I had plenty before I met... one,” he starts to say, “me and her share a past, and, it seems, a future as well. After New York, I am taken to Asgard, imprisoned, but she is there. I fake my death and rule over Asgard as Odin, and she's there. I help Thor destroy our evil sister--”

“Oh, she was a nasty one.” Boastful says, shaking his head. “We used to have a connection, but then she just... I don't even know.” He shrugs. Loki eyes him for a second before continuing.

“We destroyed Asgard, but saved its people, and saved her. We make for Midgard, and she's there with me.” Loki sighs, his eyes gloomy. “And then... Thanos attacks, destroys half, if not all our people, and...” he can't even speak further. His variants share a look, each having quite the correct guess for what could follow after that. Boastful drinks from his cup in an awkward manner. “But I feel like that's another life I lived. Or another me. I don't know, I feel so... disconnected from her, from what we had. Must be the TVA and this... void. And all that's happened, all I've learned about my future.” He sighs again.

“Meeting her again would be a wake-up call, no?” Boastful asks. Loki shrugs, a sad expression on his face.

“Rather a sign that you're real.” Classic Loki says with a wide, true smile. Loki looks to him as if looking at a mentor. “I often felt like the people I loved and the love I had for them, even if it was not reciprocated, were a reminder that I am real, I exist and I can feel all these things.”

Loki considers his words, and then nods along, finding a truth in them.

“After all, love and all other emotions are the human part in all of us.” Classic says. “And it isn't always bad to feel like a regular human being.” Loki can also find truth in those words. Love makes one feel alive, makes you feel like you're on the right path, found the right person, found your purpose. It doesn't always have to be glorious, it can be small, but nonetheless important to you.

“I used to think humans smaller than us, more pathetic and puny, but...” Loki shakes his head, “we, gods, are just the same, really.” He chuckles sadly. “Having quarrels over the stupidest things, being as imperfect as humans... Sometimes I even felt like I was too good, too perfect for something like true love, which is a pathetic emotion that makes you feel all kinds of other feelings, but...” he smiles, “often times I felt like that, she told me everyone was deserving of love, even me.” His smile grows wider.

“She sounds lovely.” Classic Loki tells him with a kind smile.

“She was that, and more.” Loki nods along. Young Loki imitates the sound of a snore and throws a crumpled piece of paper at Loki's shoulder.

“You're making me extremely bored.” He announces and sits straighter in his chair, looking over the mess that is his palace. “Love's boring.” Young Loki throws a juice carton across the room, making a face.

“You are just too young to understand and know it, your majesty.” Boastful says with a wink, and the next juice carton is flying over his head with a snicker from Young Loki. Classic Loki keeps Boastful tight in his seat so an argument wouldn't arise, and Boastful hesitantly restrains, his drink almost spilling over his cup. Loki watches them with a sappy smile on his features, and decides this is a good place to spend eternity at, even without her.

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[spencersawkward]

i’m so happy ur on tumblr now!! i love between the lines so much, could you write a blurb or one shot about mgg and a younger co-star, but like very spicy if possible 🙃, idk i just love that scenario🥵.

i was literally about to write "omg i love this concept too!" and then i was like “well no fucking shit, sophi.” lol. YES i can 10/10 write you a one-shot with a similar scenario! also thank you for your kind words that was the first fic i ever wrote so it’s very near and dear to my heart!

summary: reader goes to a holiday party with her co-stars and best friend, Matthew... but all the fun happens in the dressing room.

content warnings: this one is quite dirty but i’m also proud of it lol. unprotected penetrative sex, oral (female receiving), degradation, use of the term “little girl,” creampie, age gap. dirty talk?

pairing: Fem!Reader/Matthew

word count: 4.7k

masterlist

"no."

"what do you mean, 'no’?” Matthew laughs, looking between me and the mirror.

"I look like the Ghost of Christmas Past." I lift up the soft white tulle of the dress, watching it float back down to settle over my skin. he's got his eyebrows raised and there's a smirk on his lips like he's holding back a laugh. I resist the urge to reach around and hit him.

"would you rather wear that?" he points to the punch-stained gown that's now laying pathetically over the back of the vanity chair. I genuinely ponder the idea for a moment.

"honestly, the crime scene vibes might work well with the theme of our show."

"seriously, it's not bad, Y/N!" he insists, drawing my attention back to the mirror.

"you're just saying that because you're the one who spilled on me and you don't want people making fun of how clumsy you are." I cross my arms over my chest. he gives me a dubious expression in our reflection on the wall.

"do I seem like I care about that?" he challenges.

"I--" the truth is that no, Matthew is not the type. Matthew is the kind of person to flounder in front of anyone and proceed to crack a joke about himself. he's humble. but I kind of like when we talk like this, our back and forth.

after a year of working together on the same show, he and I have grown incredibly close. I'm friends with all my co-stars, but he and I just have the natural friendship chemistry that makes me want to spend all my time with him. when we're not on set, we're hanging out on his couch or ordering dinner or driving out of town to check out wacky sites around California. we just have fun. pure, clean, honest fun.

of course, in my dreams it isn't pure or honest. frankly, there's a lot of sordid scandal to what goes on in my head when he accidentally touches my arm or brushes his fingers over mine. the amount of times I have gone to cast parties trying to work up the nerve to kiss him are embarrassing. he's older and more experienced and, obviously, he has no interest in me.

but that doesn't matter.

the only reason I'm standing in a dressing room alone with him is because he knew someone on the crew who could hook me up with a replacement for the night. he left while I slipped out of the old one and came back in only after knocking and checking, like, twice to make sure I was decent. he's so respectful that it's almost like he's afraid of making me think the wrong thing-- which makes me feel absolutely stupid for my almost schoolgirl crush.

"come on, you look great. let's go enjoy the party."

"was this a dress one of the victims was wearing?" I ask with a laugh.

"probably. not like we carry a lot of gowns on set." he grabs my hand, makes my heart leap into my throat. he only does it to urge me along, but it still feels intimate as I follow him out of the room, tossing one more evaluative glance at myself in the mirror. I seem terrified.

we continue to do our rounds at the party, Matthew filling my glass of eggnog even though I hate it. I wince and take a sip while we talk to some of our co-stars.

"what's wrong with you?" Shemar chuckles at my expression.

"lost a bet."

"with whom?" he glances between Matthew and me, knowing damn well already from the mischievous grin on the former's face.

"I told you not to take it." Matthew says over the rim of his glass.

"if you mention it one more time, I'm gonna throw up eggnog all over your outfit." I threaten him, but we're both smiling. Shemar frowns.

"what was the bet?"

"you know David-- the guy I was telling you about?" I reply quickly, determined to give my side of the story. Shemar nods; I told him last week when David oh-so-chivalrously danced up on me at a club and asked me out. usually in those situations, guys just want a one-night stand, so I was impressed and agreed. "anyway, Matthew said if it turned out that he was a weirdo, he would get to pick my drinks for the next week whenever we go out."

"your drinks? that's specific."

"she's so picky!" Matthew teases me.

"leave me alone, you dick!" I elbow him and he dodges just in time.

"tell him why he was a weirdo." he grins. the glare I give could kill. but Shemar is waiting expectantly for me to share the information, so I sigh and set my jaw before telling the truth.

"he collects antique dental tools."

"what?" Shemar laughs disbelievingly. I throw my hands up.

"I don't fucking know. we went back to his apartment and he showed me his whole collection."

"you're attracted to weird people, Y/N." Matthew says. I raise my eyebrows and almost say something that dooms me. I hold my tongue, however, and turn back to Shemar with a reserved smile.

"anyway, how are you?"

...

the cast holiday party is actually pretty fun. I tend to leave these functions early in favor of my couch and some ice cream, but something about the bright colors and the smell of wintergreen in the air makes me want to linger in the studio.

I stuff myself with sugar cookies and Matthew mercifully lets me switch from eggnog to Sprite. normally, I'd drink at such an occasion, but I'm a messy drunk and this is one of my first real jobs as an actress. I don't want to even come close to jeopardizing that by breaking some expensive equipment or something.

my throat gets a little sore from all the talking I do-- Paget and I spend about half an hour horribly belting out Christmas carols at the baby grand piano they brought in. they originally had someone hired to play it, but the guy disappeared about an hour ago.

by the time it hits around ten pm, my limbs are tired. I thought people would be leaving (a lot of them have families), but the party is still very much raging when I start to wind down. maybe it's because I'm sober.

"hey." Matthew sidles up next to me as I sit at the piano bench with a slice of lime in my mouth. I like to suck the juice out of them; sour things are my favorite.

"hi." I pluck the fruit out and drop it back into my soda. he sits next to me, his cologne filling my senses with the kind of sensual warmth that it shouldn't be making me feel. he always smells so good.

"ladylike." he gestures to the movement.

"is that why you call me 'princess?'" I smirk, half-joking.

"once-- I called you that once!" he defends. it's not a lie. he used the nickname when he was mocking me for my somewhat selective food preferences. it was sarcastic, but I wish it wasn't. something about the way he said it in the moment made me blush.

"is there a reason you've come to grate my nerves?" I raise an eyebrow and he turns away from me as he bites back a smile. I pout. "what?"

"you're talking like a Jane Austen novel."

"what's wrong with Jane Austen?" I defend, skin heating up. his proximity is doing things to me that it shouldn't.

"nothing," he glances at me before moving his gaze to the ivory keys. "do you play?"

"elementary level, sure." I giggle. he runs his fingers over them, never pressing down hard enough to release a sound. I'm entranced by the delicate nature of his actions, the veins and the curve of his fingertips, the sheer width of his hand. I think about it too much for it to be healthy.

"show me." it's a direct order, one that doesn't feel directive but still ends with me placing both hands on the piano and wracking my brain for something to play. I decide on a piece that Paget and I were doing earlier, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."

I've never been quite good at piano, and the nearness of his body is like an anvil on my fingers, but I play anyway. and it feels good. his eyes are on me, drawn to my tracings over the instrument as they press and lift and glide.

"sing." I tell him.

"no!" he protests. I don't stop playing, only now getting into the thick of the tune.

"oh, come on. just the chorus..." I plead, turning my head to beg. "please?"

I bat my lashes playfully, fully intending it as a joke, but Matthew softens a bit. for a fraction of a second, I think he looks at my mouth. he turns his head back to the piano and lets out a quiet "here we are as in olden days... happy golden days of yore..."

"there you go!" I egg him on, and he starts to get more into it. his voice is absolutely off-key; he's no singer, and somehow that makes him even more endearing to me.

Matthew has always been this flawless, intimidating figure in my mind. even when we first met, I was certain that he was hiding something because everything else about him is so... perfect. he's funny, sweet, genuinely kind, handsomer than hell. it didn't make sense. but knowing that he can't carry a tune makes me feel a bit better. it humanizes his beauty.

while he sings, I can't help looking at him. his side profile is even more enchanting; the curve of his features meeting a smooth elegance in his jaw and cheek, especially when his mouth is open. he catches me smiling at him and returns it with his own gleeful face, now totally fine with singing like a fool in front of everyone. nobody is even really looking at us-- they're several drinks in and lost in their own universe of drunken laughter.

there's something kind of magical about that, I think. we're sober. when the song draws to a close, I lift my fingers off the keys and into my lap.

"you're quite the Pavarotti." I joke.

"the who?" he furrows his brow with a smile.

"he's a famous opera singer."

"oh," he laughs, "thanks, Mozart."

I twist my face up as I hide my smile. this is also part of the reason I could never tell Matthew how I feel; we just fit together too well. he almost always gets my references and I understand his, even though there's an age gap between us. he's an old soul with a youthful heart.

"how's your night going?" I ask him softly, changing the subject. he sets his hands on his lap, absent-mindedly toying with his fingers. it's not a nervous tendency at all. he does it whenever we're on set.

"as of right now? pretty damn good." he replies with a smile. I get warm again at the implication. he doesn't mean it like that, but god, do I wish he did.

"very smooth." I compliment appreciatively.

"how about you?"

"it was kind of boring, but then this rando sat next to me and started singing Christmas songs and it got a little better." I say flatly, grabbing my glass off the top of the piano and running my fingertip over the rim. he drops his head in a giggle.

"you're something else."

"insult?" I clarify.

"definitely a compliment."

"I like compliments."

"well, I wasn't lying before. you look really beautiful in that dress."

"the murder dress?" I glance down at it to hide the absolute wideness of my eyes at his words. he's completely flustering me and I'm starting to find it hard to breathe. he said I look beautiful. not "pretty," not "great"-- beautiful.

"yes, the murder dress." he gets a little pink in his cheeks, and that makes me want to explode on the spot.

"well, say goodbye to it because I'm gonna go change back into my plebeian clothes," I stand from the piano bench. "it's past my bedtime."

Matthew looks up at me with an unreadable expression and I feel my heart flutter in my chest. I hate leaving him. "do you wanna come with me? like-- walk with me?"

"sure." he nods, stands, and follows behind. I can feel his presence like a delightful reminder of the emotions surging in my stomach. we wind through the crowd of party-goers until we end up back in the dressing room, away from the party. it's quiet.

Matthew walks in with me, carrying our drinks in his hand, and he's about to stroll back out so I can change when I touch his arm. the door shuts automatically behind him.

"wait," I swallow quickly. "can you unzip me?"

"oh." Matthew looks at me, then at the glasses in his arms, then at the vanity. he sets them down and comes back quickly, his frame behind me while his fingertips locate the little piece at the top of my gown. my breath hitches in my throat when he brushes over my spine by accident, one nail dragging accidentally against my skin as the fabric slowly gives way. I don't know if he hears it-- it's nearly imperceptible-- but he definitely hesitates once he reaches the place where my back starts to curve into my ass. he pauses, doesn't breathe until he reaches the end of the zipper.

"there you go." he mutters. his voice is a little more hoarse than usual, and he clears his throat as he steps away. I know he's going to back out. he's going to back out of the room and wait for me to slip into nothing and I know, somehow, that he's going to be thinking about how I look in here with my clothes off. he's going to wish he stayed.

and I'm going to wish he'd done more than stayed.

before I can lose my nerve and allow the moment to be swallowed up by practicality, I shrug the straps of the dress down my shoulders and let gravity take over. it drops to the floor, leaving me in only my bra and panties. I can sense him behind me; he's silent for a moment.

"Matthew." I say, the name sitting on my tongue like a sugar cube. perfectly formed, slowly dissolving.

"y-yeah?" he stutters for the first time since I've met him.

"are you looking at my ass right now?" I ask, still turned around. the way he's frozen in place tells me that I'm right.

"yeah." he admits.

"you can touch it, if you want." I murmur softly. part of me doesn't think this is real, the way each sentence leaves my throat like it's been pre-planned. truly, I don't understand how my brain is moving so quickly.

"are you... sure?" he's hesitant, but even I can taste the longing.

"yes."

his hand smooths over my butt, softly at first like he's still not believing his own eyes, before moving back to grab it. he squeezes the flesh, and a low exhale from him tells me that he's excited.

"do you want more?" my voice barely carries. my head is almost foggy from how good it is to have his grip on my body, even in such a simple way. I can feel myself getting wet.

"how much more?" his lips brush over my shoulder and I get goosebumps. my mouth opens and closes for a moment, searching for the right words.

"however much you want."

it's flint and steel, the way he sparks. the air literally leaves my lungs when Matthew grabs my hips and spins me around to face him. my lips part as I peer up at him, at the lust that now darkens those hazel eyes and the way he holds mine. his touch is certain. he pulls our bodies together, tilts my chin up to kiss me.

it's passionate, strong, the kind of kiss that causes me to lean back a bit just to receive the full force of his desire. but I return the affection easily, moaning into his mouth. I've never been held the way that Matthew holds me. like I'm made of sugar glass, like he wants desperately to feel the soft give of my skin and make a home of me.

the heat between our bodies is almost overwhelming, and I sigh when he subtly pushes our hips together. his erection is against my stomach.

"fuck." I mutter when I pull away for air. Matthew doesn't stop his perfect movements, though, tugging my earlobe between his teeth and starting to leave love bites up my skin and over my shoulder. he chuckles against my throat. I shiver.

"you alright, little girl?" he asks.

"just--" I let out a moan at the sensation of his fingers exploring my bare waist. he reaches behind me to unclasp my bra. "just surprised."

"about?" he slides the straps down my shoulders and looks me in the eye. the lack of physical contact makes me whine.

"that you want me."

"how is that surprising?" he smiles, using one index finger to guide me to look at him.

"you don't seem like it."

Matthew raises his eyebrows as if I'm a crazy person. truly dumbstruck. "what?"

"you-- well, I don't know." I frown, but Matthew takes my hand and moves it over his torso until my palm is resting over the considerable bulge in his pants.

"is this enough proof?"

I struggle for words, sputtering. "yeah-- yeah, it is."

he bucks into my hand a little and I bite my lip, eyes moving up to meet his. something passes between us that I don't fully understand, but feel in my bones. I have never, in my life, wanted someone to fuck me as much as I want Matthew to fuck me right now. my jaw clenches.

"I need you." I tell him like this is the most relevant piece of information that will ever pass between us. he smirks.

"yeah?"

"mhmm."

"then lean against the wall and let me give you what you deserve." he orders. for a second, I try to think through what he means. then I look behind me at the open space and back up, him following me closely. his hands move up to cup my breasts, kneading and tweaking my nipples as he kisses my lips. the coolness against my back causes me to gasp, and he swallows the sound with his tongue before moving down my body.

he's torturously slow, taking one of my nipples into his mouth while he shrugs off his suit jacket. he switches to my other peak, one hand splayed over my stomach, and then proceeds southward with his lips. his kisses are delicate, open-mouthed, as they find their way to the waistband of my panties.

he hooks his fingers in them and looks up at me.

"can I eat you out, baby?" he asks. I bite my lip.

"please." like a beg.

"oh, you're polite tonight." he smirks, tugging the garment down my legs and discarding it somewhere in the room. I don't respond, and he doesn't seem to need me to, because he pushes one leg up for better access to my pussy. "let's see if it lasts."

my back curves off of the wall involuntarily when he holds the flat of his tongue against my clit suddenly, trying to roll my hips against his face. my fingers tangle in his hair, one leg resting over his shoulder.

he starts to flick at my clit. I lose grasp of my own language.

"Matthew, that feels so good, I--"

he attaches himself to my bundle of nerves, seemingly turned on by the sounds I'm making for him. he groans as he laps at the wetness between my legs, dipping into my folds and sucking the soul out of me. I whine and use his curls as leverage to gain more friction. he peers up at me.

"needy little girl." he mumbles against my pussy. I shove him back into me.

"make me cum, then." I beg. I can practically feel the devilish smirk on his face as he devours me like he'll never get enough. every twist and lick of his tongue is sending me to new places. I'm panting, chest heaving, while I grab my own tits and buck into his mouth.

he moans. my orgasm hits me like a wave, causing me to nearly thrash with pleasure as I cry out.

"Matthew, keep going, fuck yes!" I feel tears prick the back of my eyes, the culmination almost too much to bear as we hold contact. he stares into my fucking soul as he eats me out, and I want to stay like this forever. it's hard to support myself with my legs going weak, but I love it. the sensations are otherworldly. it's only when I'm about to collapse that I push his face away from me.

"I love your pussy." he tells me, licking his lips as he sets my legs down. I grin and let my head fall back against the wall.

"thanks."

"come here, princess." he takes hold of my hips and guides me over to the mirror, turning me so that he's standing behind my frame. the pet name causes me to smile.

"what?" I reference our reflection. he stares at me, reaching around to squeeze my tits.

"I wanna fuck you in the mirror." such a vulgar thing, said so beautifully. he kisses my cheek. "if that's okay with you."

"I don't care what position we do as long as you're fucking me." I breathe honestly. he chuckles and draws me towards him so his clothed boner is against my ass. I reach behind and work the button on his pants. he undoes the ones on his shirt. we're silent, him watching my naked body move like he's trying to memorize every detail.

when he's finally stripped, he lets me stroke his cock for a couple moments before pushing my upper back forward so I'm holding onto the sides of the mirror. I see him biting his lip as he lines himself up at my entrance.

"you ready?" he checks. I nod and he smiles at me once. pushing in, the smile melts into a jaw-dropped haze, eyes rolling into the back of his head. "Y/N..."

"it's so big." I try to breathe. he's so deep, I grip the mirror until my knuckles turn white. he's going to snap my body in two with the angle of his cock, filling me easily.

"tight little thing." he grunts as he holds himself inside. I can only watch in shock as I try to adjust to the sheer feeling of him. Matthew runs his hands over my sides, my ass, touching whatever he can. "how's that?"

I start to wiggle my hips and he groans at the feeling of my walls desperately swallowing him up. "Matthew, I need it."

"need what?" he thrusts into me and I have to fight a scream.

"need you."

"fuck... yes." he hisses out, sliding into me. "you're so wet I don't even need to try."

I bite my lip to withhold my sounds and he stares me in the eyes in the mirror as he starts to fuck me harder, building a pace with his hips. he growls a little if he hits certain angles, getting ruthless.

"so many times when I wanted to be inside you, princess..." he trails off. I start to play with my clit with one hand, using the other to stabilize myself with the mirror. the idea turns me on.

"when?"

"whenever you have attitude," he pants. "tonight, in that innocent fucking dress. making me wanna pound you like a little slut."

I make a high-pitched sound at the shudder of pleasure that jolts through my stomach at his words, wanting more. I've never heard him talk this way before.

"Matthew, shit--" I rub myself in circles, caught between watching his face and watching the way his hips slam into mine.

"you're begging to be fucked, you know that?"

"am I?" I smile sweetly in the mirror. we're in our own world, locked in a fantasy that I never want to leave. I can feel him in every corner of my body, sinking beneath my skin. he digs his nails into my ass.

"mhmm." he hums. I can feel the familiar weight in my stomach that indicates how close I'm getting. a knot that screams to be undone by his perfect length. I would do anything for more of this. I can taste everything good in the world on my tongue.

"I'm so close." I whine.

"I can tell," he studies my face in the mirror. "so pretty when you're breaking."

"oh--" I feel my thighs tense and my body pulses, the euphoria almost overwhelming. we move steadily, rhythmically, and he pushes my climax to new levels. "faster." I cry.

Matthew is quick to respond, gripping me closer while he plows into me like he's never going to have my body again. the sound of it is filthy, perfect, a mess. he groans at the sensation of my cunt pulsating around his cock.

"cum for me, princess." he moans, losing himself in the embrace of my core. the foggy stare in his eyes is like drowning in the ocean. I sink below, not caring at all about the consequences of him inside me. fuck working together; I need him. "where should I cum?"

"in me." I groan.

"beg." he commands easily, watching my face contort in pleasure. I could pretend to fight it, to give a little attitude, but I don't want to. I love begging for him.

"fill me up, Matthew. please." each word punctuated by the breathlessness of my voice. he gets even more ferocious with me, beating up my pussy until I'm sure he's going to leave me sore.

"right there, right there," he gasps, hitting the same spot that makes me go cross-eyed. "such a good little slut."

his cum shoots into me, deep and warm and erotically twisted, and I nearly collapse. it feels weird, but so good at the same time. full. he groans out my name and withdraws, quick to grab my shoulders and hold me up as I almost fall. I hadn't realized that most of my body weight was supported purely by his thrusts.

"whoa." he lets out a tired laugh, gentle in his touch. I'm heaving air into my lungs.

"sorry." I apologize, my body unstable.

"are you okay?" he seems genuinely concerned and I nod.

"yeah, I'm fine. just a little overwhelmed."

"here," he scoops me into his arms and brings me over to the old love seat in the dressing room, laying his jacket down before putting me on top of it. "can I get you something?"

"Sprite." I gesture to the glass on the vanity, and he smiles as he goes to get it. I gulp down whatever remains of it. "thanks."

"of course." he keeps glancing at my face and the red marks on my hips where he was clutching me like a lifeline. "I'm sorry."

"what?" I set the cup down. "don't ever be sorry for fucking me like that."

"no, I meant--" he laughs, but then he sees my playful expression and realizes that I'm genuinely alright. I think my legs were asleep.

"you're a saint." I tell him. he frowns and shakes his head bashfully. I'm already getting up and collecting my clothes. "or maybe what we just did prevents you from reaching sainthood. I don't know."

he places his hand on my lower back, kisses my forehead tenderly.

"seriously. you're okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine," I assure him. "but I would be better with a milkshake."

Matthew breaks into a slow grin, staring at me like I've done something miraculous.

"how are you so perfect?"

[this-is-ally-and-im-confused]

Ok Owen power in Beijing knowing ur sleeping but basically just talking to you about his day and how he misses u 😩🤚🏻

*leave a message after the beep*

Hi lover, it’s Owen. My phone says that it’s roughly 5 a.m for you back home, and it’s just after dinner here. I miss you so much, beautiful.

Its been crazy here. Everyone is hyped about the food, the games, and the people–but I’m just hyped about winning and then coming home to you. I wish I could have brought you with me. You would love it here.

I promise that one day I’ll bring you to Beijing.

We can visit all the cool places that the boys and I’ve gone to. There’s some really cool architecture and pretty forests. I know that you love traveling so I think this should be our next trip. You’d also love the food. I was kind of weirded out by the meals at first but now I think I’ll be craving Chinese food for the next year. Also, I think you’d love to meet some of my teammates. They are all hilarious. They also have been doing a good job at keeping me distracted so I don’t miss you.

I hope you’ve been taking care of yourself. I’ve been doing everything that you normally do for me. I didn’t realize how out of practice I got at tying my tie. It’s crazy how much you do for us. I can’t wait to get home and back to normal.

Anyways, I’ve got to go hit the gym with the boys. Call me when you wake up, beautiful. I love you so much. Have sweet dreams.

[pwarkluv]

❝ what is love? - l.mk ❞

lee mark x reader | fluff | 2k words

WARNINGS | lowercase is intended, idol au, love at first sight au, 6thmemberofitzy!reader, shy!mark and shy!reader, fluff bc that’s what i’m best at LOL, another request :), just enjoy <3

REQUEST | “hii i read ur electric love fic w jisung and i really loved it :DD could you do the same for mark ? still as the 6th member of itzy ofc :D” - my lovely anon <3

SUMMARY | he wonders what is love, but finds the answer in you.

AUTHOR’S NOTE | inspired by the song “what is love” by twice (english lyrics by genius translations)! ANOTHER REQUEST HDSFKLDSJHF IM SO SO SO SO EXCITED! i wanted to change up the setting so it’s still 6th member itzy, but not in weekly idol :P ALSO this was inspired by when nct dream, itzy, and stray kids sat next to each each other in that one award show so yeah lolol. IM SO SORRY I LOST THE MESSAGE WHERE MY ANON ASKED FOR IT BUT I STILL WROTE IT FOR YOU! I LOVE YOU, THANK YOU, NEVER BE SHY TO DM ME ;)

what is love?

mark knew the general idea of it; the sappy moments movies show, the “butterflies in your stomach” feeling books portray, the pain and hardships songs make you feel. 

but he’s never been in love, at least not like this.

❝ how could it be as sweet as candy? ❞

training at such a young age molded mark into the perfect idol, and with that he was fully aware dating would look bad to the public. he accepted the fact that he might never find love, all to help achieve his dream. 

but as cheesy as it sounds, the canadian wished to be loved. 

yes he was loved by his members, his family, his friends, his fans; but the type of love he longed for was something none of them could give him. 

mark wanted to feel the sweetness of being in love, the giddiness you’d feel whenever you talk to them, the pounding of your heart whenever they’re near. he wanted to experience the overwhelming need to be with that person, like if they’re gone for too long it’s like you can’t breathe.

was being in love like making a song for the very first time? or was it like eating watermelon all the time?

so many questions with no answers, the boy left to wander in his own thoughts. 

❝ how it’s like flying in the sky? ❞

he smiled bittersweetly as the newly wed couple danced around in confetti, the sound of laughter and cheers resonating around the room. one of nct’s managers that had been with them since the beginning invited them to her wedding, to which the team obviously accepted. 

all 23 of them were happy for their noona who found her happy ending. mark could only watch in awe at the sight of the two lovebirds, the love and adoration for the other evident in the way they looked at each other.

his heart tugged a bit knowing he wanted something like that too. 

“being in love is like flying in the sky.” his manager explained to the boy as a makeup artist experimentally brushed strokes on her face. it was a couple hours before the ceremony when mark knocked on her hotel door, wanting to visit his favorite noona before she finally said ‘i do’. 

his question left his mouth before mark could fully register what he was about to say, the poor boy flushing a bit as the woman laughed at him. 

“are you in love mark? is that why you’re asking me how i knew i was in love?” she teased as mark stutterd, denying her accusation.

“n-no i swear!” he said as his manager continued laughing, the makeup artist having to pause a bit to let her get it all out. “i’m just curious.” mark said quietly trying to stop the heat from rushing up to his cheeks. 

“well being in love is a magical feeling.” the woman said, turning a bit serious. mark sat up straight as he listened intently. “when you realize you love someone, it can be a scary thing. love isn’t perfect mark, and i want you to know that. there are moments where you want to scream and rip your hair out, or cry to let it all out.”

the boy nodded in understanding, having a bit of knowledge from all the good breakup songs taylor swift writes about. 

“but it can also change your whole world.” she continued on. “it’s like seeing the world again for the very first time and the colors are more vibrant. it’s like having a permanent reason to be happy, and a reason to stay.” she explained as the mark sat quietly trying to comprehend it all. 

❝ i wanna know know know know, what is love? ❞

the poor boy’s head couldn’t wrap around the thought of you. 

his heart hammered in his chest as he secretly glanced at you, desperately trying to avoid suspicion from fans and his members. you were just too breathtaking, having the canadian looking back for more. 

the moment he first laid eyes on you, it was like an epiphany. you were the answer to all his questions.

so this is what it feels like, mark thinks to himself as he looks back on all the things he’s heard about love. 

the butterflies, the pounding of your heart, the “seeing the world in a whole new perspective”, mark felt everything and as much as he felt excited, he was scared.

as harmless as it sounds, award shows were a risky thing for idols. being surrounded by fans of different groups as well as said groups themselves always seemed to cause a bit of a stir between fans.

between dating rumors and rumors about beef between two idols, anything could happen.

but usually mark would be okay. he’s been doing this for a long time and knew how to behave.

however what he didn’t expect was to see you, the tiny rookie idol from the newly debuted girl group ‘itzy’. 

nct 127’s table was right next to yours which let mark have a clear view of your pretty eye smile as you laughed at something lia had whispered into your ear. your laugh was bubbly and contagious, the boy having to physically stop himself from wanting to laugh too. 

he was panicking, but mark couldn’t tell if it was in a good or bad way. 

❝ what does love feel like? ❞

your breath hitched as you saw the boy sneak glances at you from the corner of your eye.

the mark lee was looking at you, your heart racing as you tried to deny the fact that he was staring you down. there was no way the dude you’ve looked up to your entire trainee life is noticing you, no way at all.  

everyone has heard of mark lee even if you weren’t into kpop. he was just that iconic. 

you’ve been an nctzen since the very beginning, being there for nct u’s debut stage. in fact, nct was the very reason you decided to audition to become an idol in the first place. you looked up to the team but more importantly you looked up to a certain canadian in the group.

originally doyoung was your bias in nct when nct u first came out. but as the years passed by you found yourself more and more intrigued by mark, having him absolutely wreck your bias list.

since then you’ve been a loyal mark stan, even rapping his part in cherry bomb for your audition tape which ultimately led you to become an idol yourself. 

you refused to believe you were in love with the dude, not knowing a single thing about him. there was no way you could love him, not if you’ve never even met the boy.

but your heart seemed to prove you wrong as it beat wildly knowing mark was sitting right there on the table next to you. 

“you okay bubs?” lia asked in a worried tone, leaning in to whisper into your ear. she saw the way your leg bounced in a fast rhythm, knowing you only did that when you were nervous. 

you forced a smile as you hesitantly looked her way, knowing that she could take one look into your eyes and know you were lying. “i'm fine unnie, don’t worry about me.” you replied as sweetly as you could, wishing the elder wouldn’t notice a thing. 

though you two and yeji were the eldest in the group, all being born in the year 2000, you were the baby of the unnie line. lia and yeji knew you the best, having grown up with you after all. 

the girl only gave you a look before taking your hand in hers to give a soft squeeze. “i know you’re lying but i won’t push you. also mark lee from nct 127 is totally checking you out.” lia said, whispering a bit on the last part. she winked as you flushed, looking away in horror. 

-

johnny nudged the boy next to him with a small smirk, clearly seeing the heart eyes he was giving the girl in the table next to them. mark jumped a bit at the feeling, looking at his hyung with confusion.

“so y/n of itzy?” johnny said with a small smile as the younger immediately sat up straight. 

“is it that obvious?” mark whispered back with a hint of fear in his eyes.

if any of the fans were to get a hold of this… the boy could only shiver at the thought. 

johnny’s playful smile dropped a bit at mark’s worried look knowing how he must feel. they were idols after all.

“don’t worry, i only noticed because she was looking back at you too.” he said, mark flushing at the revelation.

“really?” he asked a little out of it. 

“i say talk to her after this?” the elder said, laughing a bit when mark jumped in his seat, immediately saying no. 

❝ will love come to me someday? ❞

“unnie why are you making me stay in the dressing room~” you whined as the end of the award show came along.

you just wanted to go home, your body worn out. not from all the dancing but from the way it viciously pounded in your chest whenever you ever thought about mark. 

lia only smirked in retaliation as she brought a hand up to squish your cheeks. “trust me, you’ll thank me later.” she said as she walked out of the dressing room, bumping into a 6 foot tall boy with a smaller boy behind him. 

“oops sorry.” she said a little playfully, as lia gave a wink to johnny knowing their plan was going accordingly. johnny only gave her a small smile, but if you looked closely you could see the mischief in his eyes. 

“hyung where are we going?” mark asked, a little weirded out by the two’s interaction. johnny only ignored the boy, dragging him by his arm as they walked down the hallway. 

“hyung i swear if this is a prank i’ll-” mark’s words were cut off as the two entered a door, only to see your confused face staring back at him. 

“oh shit.” he cursed under his breath, a little taken aback from how beautiful you were. one whole award show later and you were still as gorgeous as when he first saw you sitting down in the table next to his. 

your confused face quickly turned to an embarrassed one as you noticed the boy, turning another shade of red when you noticed he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

“hi y/n, my name is johnny and this is my band mate mark.” the taller boy said, holding his hand out in a handshake. 

“h-hi i’m y/n.” you stuttered, not expecting to see the boy you’ve been daydreaming about for the past two hours to be right in front of you. 

mark gawked at the sight of you, his mind malfunctioning as the words seemed to get stuck at the tip of his tongue.

“markie right here has something he wants to ask you.” johnny said, pushing the younger in front of him with a grunt. 

this seemed to knock him right out of his trance, a hand coming up to the back of his neck as he stared down at the floor with pink cheeks.

“do you maybe wanna-”

“yes.” you blurted out, a hand covering your mouth in shock. “i-if you were gonna ask if i wanted to hang out sometime, the answer is yes.” you said a little shyly as the boy smiled. 

all this time mark thought he was gonna find love, but maybe love found him instead. 

“i’ll pick you up at 6 tomorrow evening.” mark said with a sweet smile as he took a step back only to be pushed back up again by johnny.

“you don’t even have her number you dumbass.” the elder scolded, disappointed at how dumb the boy was. 

your laughter caught both of the boy’s attention as you put your hand out with a small smile. “you want my number or nah?”

[lipstickbisous]

headcannon of ransom freaking out over reader's water breaking please

i love this sm it makes ransom seem so domestic!! a family with him is a dream, thank you for the request!

unexpected - r.d.

SUMMARY: what you’ve been expecting for nine months takes both you and ransom by surprise.

WARNINGS: mentions of birth/labor, just fluff!!

the following work is my own writing. do not plagairise or copy and paste my works onto another platform. message me about credit.

MASTERLIST

during the pregnancy, ransom turned into a whole other person

he was still a dick to everyone else but if someone even came close to touching you--whether a waiter put a kind hand on your shoulder or your OBGYN was checking up on you--he’d bark at them

i mean, this is his kid and his girl, of course he’s gonna be protective

so let’s say it’s just a nice cuddle n’ movie night together

for once, ransom isn’t horny

recently, you’ve been having cramps but you haven’t been thinking much of them; with pregnancy comes pain literally every second

and not only is ransom protective, but he’s incredibly doting (more so than he was before)

so he puts on your favorite movie, brings you your favorite snacks and whatever you’re craving, and sits you up with like a ton of pillows (ya back hurts while pregnancy a lot)

he gets the blankets ready, the fireplace is on, everything is perfect

but...down there...is feeling a little weird

again, you don’t think anything of it--he’s got his hand on ur bump the whole time and it’s a very lovely moment

but it’s like a strange itch and you just stand up to stretch

“where you goin’, hun?” ransom asks, his arms suddenly feeling empty when you rose

“just gonna get some water” (staying hydrated, v important)

you know, u grab a cup, get some water from the fridge, but a sudden cramp blows through your entire body and stays at the huge bulge in your stomach

you gasp and drop the cup on the floor and yell a small “fuck!”

i mean, the smallest thing tick u off when ur pregnant, along with the fact that u can’t bend over to clean it up

“baby, can you come help me? i spilled some water.” you yell to ransom and he’s quick to respond with a “yup”

but while he’s walking to the kitchen, there’s a sort of releasing feeling from between your legs and suddenly everything is wet

your pants, your pj shirt, is all damp and you grip the counter

“shit, baby,” he notes, but doesn’t notice the puddle from your legs “if you were so thirsty, i would’ve gotten it for you.”

he goes to grab the paper towels, completely oblivious to the fact that you’re water just fucking broke

“ransom,” you try to speak with a steady voice even though the pain level of your cramps is rising

but he just keeps sort of blabbering--he started doing that when ur bump began to show

“my baby shouldn’t have to get up. i’d get it for her.” “damn, i need a whole new roll.” “why does it smell?”

“ransom” you say louder and he looks up

he sees the wetness in your pants and the shirt that--goddamn, she took my shirt again

then he looks back down at the puddle

“fuck!” he instantly stood up and noticed how panicked you look

“um” ransom is honestly at a loss for words. guess the classes you’d taken to prepare yourselves were really paying off. “ummm”

“um?” you yell and grab your bump with a loud groan (stop being dirty, it’s not like that)

“um,” he yelled again and it was like a light bulb popped above his head. “bag!”

“yeah, the bag” you would’ve gotten it yourself if you weren’t currently struggling just to stand up

he runs up to your room and grabs the hospital bag you’d had ready for a long time and searches through it to double-check that you have everthing

when he comes back downstairs, you’re still standing in the kitchen trying to hold in a yell of pain and he freezes again

“um...”

“um??” you yell again, this time more infuriated because here you were, getting ready to go into labor and your boyfriend was just standing there

“um” he looked around the kitchen before, “keys!” 

you nodded as if it was obvious (because it was) before ransom ran outside and started the car

you stood there in shock, mainly bc ur water just broke and also bc he just left you in the kitchen

he ran back inside yelling a, “fuck, fuck, fuck!” and handed you your shoes

and justttt to be a gentleman, he slipped them on for you

“okay” he picked you up, careful to not press on your bump too much and carried you outside to the car, not even bothering to close the front door

“ransom, the door”

“right, right”

when he came back in the car, he sat in the driver’s seat and froze again

“ransom!” you screamed, holding your stomach and cried

“sorry, sorry!” he started the engine and listened to the beamer roar “let’s go have a baby”

“just fucking drive!”

[sup-hoes-its-me]

Skinny Love (Kakashi x Reader)

A/N: hello again. I'm in love with Kakashi this mans makes me heart go wild I swear. Hope you like seeing him on ur dash lol. Shy reader who is too afraid to confess how she feels to Kakashi. This is only part one and is essentially just fluff. The second part will be all angst and sadness so beware.

Ps. It took me so long to get this one done. I was struggling to find the right words.

Word count: 4000

"Come on, sensei. You like him," Sakura laughed, poking her superior in the arm. The group of women stood outside the training grounds after a day of hanging out and working on their jutsu. On occasion Y/N enjoyed taking the girls out and spending time with them. It was a relief to be away from all that testosterone. If only for a short time.

She just shook her head, smothering down the embarrassment she felt creeping up her neck. Her stomach churned whenever she recognized her feelings for the man. It was just so intense. "I would never feel that way about a coworker, you know that, Sakura."

"But he's not just a coworker to you, is he? He's also your close friend," Ino hummed.

"Perhaps, but haven't I taught you that it's bad to let emotions get in the way of work?"

The blond rolled her eyes, turning to fully face one of her sensei, who she would argue was deeply in denial. "Seriously why does it even matter? Kurenai-sensei and Asuma-sensei literally had a baby together. You should definitely tell Kakashi you like him."

Y/N tossed her head back against the wall, sighing. "Girls, I really don't like him. He's just my friend. He's nice to me and I appreciate that, but that doesn't mean I want to date him or anything." Her voice shook and clearly she had been caught.

She was always so bad at lying.

"Whatever you say, Y/N."

"It's just something I'd rather not dwell on, Sakura. I'm sorry for being so private about it, but it's a sensitive subject for me," the woman confessed, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly.

"It's okay! You don't have to apologize. We get it! Feelings can definitely be complicated."

"I-I," she started, about to explain herself, but instead she rethought what she was about to say. There was no reason to actually reveal how she felt about the man. These times were tough, and there wasn't any room for making things even more messy with relationship drama. Y/N was more than happy just pretending they were friends and nothing more. As long as she had him just to talk to, she would be fine. As long as he always made it back alive, there was no reason to complain.

"You're right. Feelings are too complicated," she muttered, feeling herself practically deflate as she did so. Y/N was beginning to think she was just the one making everything complicated when it didn't have to be. Skipping around and lying about her feelings. Kakashi wouldn't ditch her if she just said something, she was sure of it.

Just as Sakura was about to reply, the voice of the man in question chimed in from down the path, "Y/N, we were looking for you."

"Yes, the third wheel to our tricycle of youth!"

Y/N felt a smile grow on her lips at the sounds of those voices, especially Gai's exclamation of youth. He was awfully weird, she thought, but that was what kept him so interesting. She turned to face the men walking in her direction. "Kakashi, Gai! What's up? The girls and I were just finishing our training."

"We're going out for drinks and thought you might like to join."

"Sounds great. It's been a long time since the three of us went out. For some reason we never have off at the same time anymore."

"Yeah, it's a shame. Missions have taken over our lives lately," Kakashi said tiredly. It was true. They really never had a second to rest. It was beginning to take its toll. Those were the consequences of war though. "How have you been?"

"Good, I, um..." she began, her eyes trailing up to Kakashi's. He watched back intently, patiently, and she felt something in her chest flutter up. He was always so handsome, she wondered how she could go so long without seeing his face. She just wanted to leap forward and give him a hug, wrap herself up in his warm arms for just a little while. That wasn't an option though, so she settled on some simple words. "I've missed you."

His eyes softened barely enough to be noticeable but she saw. Her heart continued to flutter up in her chest and she sighed, clutching her hands tighter behind her back. No doubt the girls standing just behind her were hyper-analyzing all their interactions, especially after revealing they held an interest in the pair's relationship.

He didn't have the chance to reply though, as Gai was the one to chime in. "Why thank you. I have to say, I've missed you as well, my kunoichi friend."

"Thanks, Gai." Even if the statement wasn't exactly pointed toward him, she was happy she had been missed.

"No problem! Now I hope you young ladies don't mind if we take L/N off your hands."

"No no. It's not a problem, Gai-sensei. I'm sure our moms want us home for dinner anyway. It's getting late after all."

"Yeah, we'll see you later, Y/N-sensei." The pink haired girl waved ss they started to make their way in the opposite direction toward town. Ino paused for a moment though.

"Don't forget what we talked about. You really shouldn't be so shy; it's gonna be okay," she said softly. Y/N sighed, nodding her head as if to say fine. In reality, she wouldn't do anything different. She wasn't feeling very open to changing herself or facing any of her fears. "See you around."

It was kinda sad that Y/N found comfort and support in a bunch of 15 year olds. She was an adult, couldn't she talk to other adults about her problems. These girls were just so accepting and she didn't feel awkward talking about immature things like crushes. Any other adult would just be too wrapped up in their own lives to care too much anyway.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing, Kakashi. We were just talking about random stuff. You know how curious they can be."

"You go out there and fight rogue shinobi every week. How could you be shy?" The green beast asked.

"It's really nothing. They're always assuming things about me. I'm reserved, but I wouldn't say I'm shy, per se…" She stopped to think for a quick second, tapping her foot on the ground. "Actually, I would say I'm just more conscious of the things I say and do than most other people. Not a bad thing at all."

Kakashi nodded. "It's good to keep a level head."

"Exactly. I'm Level headed. Thanks, Kakashi."

"Now let's head off to the bar! Sake for everyone!" Gai cheered, throwing his fist up in the air. She nodded, walking up beside the pair as they started off toward the restaurant of their choice, which she hoped was her favorite one with the tastiest fruit juice drinks. She was willing to put out good money to have one good, tispy night of drinks and snacking. It had already been weeks since she had a night off, one time wouldn't break the bank.

She stood to the right of them, just beside Kakashi. Every now and then she found herself drifting just a bit too close to him, her natural gait leaning toward the left. At one point, she found her hand skim dangerously close to his and she snatched it away to keep herself in check. Holding his hand perhaps was a dream of hers but she wasn't going to actually try anything.

It wasn't that she was afraid of Kakashi. Quite the opposite actually. She cared for him so deeply it sometimes made her stomach churn when she thought about it. He was her friend for ages, ever since she could really remember. He was one of the only people she could sit with and feel completely enveloped in a warm comfort, free of judgement and deceit. Gai as well, but Kakashi was different.

Maybe he could be a bit of pervert, and even sarcastic at times, but he was never rude. He had changed over the years from being a know-it-all, little jerk to someone everyone liked and admired, a kind and brave soul.

Unfortunately, it took bouts of death and loss to come about this change, but she wasn't going to ignore it. He was the best man she knew, and it only seemed natural she fell in love with him. He would probably never feel the same way. He had better things to worry about and other women to long for. He didn't have his entire life to wait around for a shy woman like herself. That was okay.

As long as he was alive and well, she would be happy.

Maybe one day she would gather the courage to grab his hand, to run her thumb over his knuckles and feel the callouses against her skin. Maybe one day she would have the courage to confess how she felt. Not now, but one day when she was comfortable.

"You okay?" He asked, pulling her out of her deepening thoughts. "You're walking really slow and uh, your hand…" The man motioned to where she was clutching her wrist against her chest.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just uh, my wrist is sore from training." She worked her hand in a circle, pretending to stretch it out. He rolled his visible eye, knowingly.

"Sure. Always skipping around the real issues."

"I'm really okay. I was just thinking hard about something."

"Anything to do with what you, Sakura, and Ino were talking about?" he suggested, raising a brow.

She groaned. He always knew what she was thinking. It was definitely one of his best and worst qualities depending on the situation. In this case, she felt awkward as she was so lost in thought about him. She felt like a fool. "Maybe it was. But that was girl time and now it's drinking time. Different topics of discussion."

"Well, mind telling me what's got you so caught up? It's gotta be important."

"It's personal."

"Ah, I see. Well, that's fine. When you want to talk about it, I'm always around."

There was silence for a moment, her thoughts running wild in her head. He was so kind, it wouldn't be bad to tell him how she felt. He would let her down easy, surely. And Gai would be there to cushion her embarrassment, no doubt. He would make things less awkward somehow. She was sure of it.

It was crazy. No way she would say anything. Definitely not.

"I'm interested in someone," Y/N found herself blurting out before she could stop herself. She just felt so much pressure building up in her chest and the only way she could relieve that feeling was to tell him something, anything about the predicament she was in. She wouldn't tell him exactly how she felt and about who, but she could vent.

Damn, all this and she didn't even have her first drink. That man really did something to her.

The men stopped in their path, their heads turning their attention solely to her. She felt her neck and cheeks begin to heat up and her palms start to sweat. Why would she say that? Dammit. She really was a fool.

"Really? Who?" Gai asked. "He'd be a fool to reject you, of course, beautiful flower of the leaf! You do not have to worry!"

"Gai...it's really not that simple. He is, um, out of my league, I guess you could say," she muttered nervously, rubbing her palms together to ease her anxiety. "He's just well, I don't know, the perfect guy ever."

She could feel Kakashi tense at her side, and her eyes scanned over him. He didn't look out of the ordinary but his energy had definitely changed. Strange.

"No one is out of your league, don't you dare say something like that! If he doesn't let you down easy, I will use my fists of justice to defend you! Tell me who this mystery man is."

"This is what Ino meant when she said you were being shy. You aren't going to tell him, are you?" Kakashi asked, and she noticed the bit of annoyance in his tone. She wondered if he was just upset she was talking about such silly things when they were ready to start drinking. She felt embarrassed. They were adults. Adults don't talk about this kind of thing. He doesn't want to hear about the guys she's interested in, or how she feels about them. Maybe Gai would be interested in it, but not a cool guy like Kakashi.

"Of course not. Like I said, he would just reject me anyway, there's no point," she told them. "And Gai, I can't just tell you who it is. You know you're a loud mouth; you'd go around telling everyone." She really didn't believe Gai would do that to her. He was far too conscious of others feelings for the most part. She just couldn't risk Kakashi knowing. She would keep it a secret from him.

"Oh come on! Just tell us! I'll help you out, be your wingman!"

"Maybe I'll tell you another time. When I'm more confident in myself."

"Well, what is it that has finally caught out dear friends heart in a web of love? Tell us!" Oh man. He really was nosy sometimes. He meant well, but occasionally he just didn't know when to stop. Kakashi kept his mouth shut because he understood she was getting uncomfortable, that or he was growing annoyed as she suspected.

Regardless, it was nice to get some of this off her chest, even if it was risky business.

"I don't really know. He's smart and considerate, and very brave. He's handsome as well, that's a plus," she smiled, listing off the things she liked about the man standing right in front of her. It felt so exhilarating, talking about her feeling so openly. It was terrifying and relieving at the same time. Y/N exhaled as she thought about him again, "He just makes me feel happy when I'm in my worst moments, that's all. I mean, what else could I ask for?"

"I see! He sounds like a good guy. Can't wait to meet him," he laughed until his eyes widened and he leaned in a bit closer to her face. He pointed his finger at his chest and questioned, "Unless of course, I already know him. It's not me, is it?

She found herself smiling just a little, her lips curving up at the absurdity of it all. "No definitely not. You don't have to worry about that."

"I'm wounded, but I understand. My youthfulness is just too strong for you."

As she thought of something to say, she began to question just why Kakashi hadn't said anything really at all. It was strange of him, letting the other man do all the talking when normally he asked her questions and at least tried to engage. Maybe he was feeling tired or bored with the conversation. She had to change the subject.

"So uh, let's get a move on before all the good booths are taken, yeah?"

"Actually, I'm getting tired. I think I'll just head home for the night, get ready for my mission in two days," the white haired jounin sighed. They both looked over to him, surprised, but Y/N knew why he needed to go. She had upset him somehow. So much for a fun night between the three of them.

"Kakashi, come on! Don't bail on us now!"

She took a step back and her eyes trailed up to his, which were narrowed, not angrily just as if he had been hurt or confused she couldn't tell which. "Oh, are you sure?" Her heart was sinking in her chest seeing him so conflicted.

"Yeah. Got a headache, too."

"Ah, okay. Well, I'll see you around sometime?"

"Yeah."

"Goodbye, rival. Hopefully you are feeling better tomorrow and we can have a real night of drinking indeed!"

And with that, he left to his apartment, leaving the other two behind. She felt her stomach begin to turn uncomfortably, sick from the thought of Kakashi just leaving them like that. He seemed so angry, she couldn't help but think it was all her fault. It wasn't in his nature to act that way.

They had already spent so much time apart already that it was tugging at her heart strings. She felt like they rarely saw each other anymore. For him to be angry at her and leave, that meant they would just see each other even less than before. It seemed like a nightmare come true. She really did miss him, like she had said. She missed the fun they would have together and the conversations they shared. She just missed him and there he went, gone off again without so much as a real goodbye.

The woman clutched at her stomach, feeling the tossing and turning overtake her sense with nausea.

Suddenly, before she could contain herself, tears began dripping down her cheeks, and she sucked in her breath. Hot tears warmed her cheeks, and frantically she wiped them away from her cheeks. Her arms wound around her waist and she hugged herself tightly inward, almost as if she would turn into a ball if she could.

"Y/N, what's wrong?! What happened?"

"It's Kakashi," she whispered, trying to keep herself from crying anymore but it only got worse.

"Kakashi? Because he left? It's okay, we can go drinking another night or-or you and I can just go alone. No problems," he tried to say but it wasn't going to work. She didn't want to go to dinner with Gai and she didn't want to wait until tomorrow, or whatever the next time they would all be together. She was being stupid and selfish, acting like a spoiled little baby with all this crying. She just couldn't stop herself.

"It's not that. There's something I haven't told anyone. I don't know what to do."

"It's gonna be fine whatever it is. Just calm down."

"No, I can't. It's so bad, Gai. I'm in love with him, it's him, and now he's mad at me and I don't know what I did wrong," she confessed, feeling all the words slipping out so easily. How is it that such strong emotions could just cause her to think so irrationally and just let something like this happen? A bout of confessing every feeling she had to her friend who may or may not go and relay all this information to Kakashi. It was stupid. She was just being stupid and reckless.

He nodded carefully, moving to take ahold of her shoulders to steady her. "It's gonna be okay. He's not mad at you, I promise. I know Kakashi and I'm sure he really was just feeling sick."

"Gai, I just...I don't want him to ever leave me, even over something stupid like this."

"Trust me, you don't have to worry about Kakashi leaving you. He would never do something like that. You are one of his closest friends. There's almost nothing you could do to make him do that, especially if you always have good intent at heart. Trust me, you really don't ever need to worry," Gai explained trying his best to reason with her. "You two do everything together. He never stops talking about you! He would never let you go."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am one hundred percent sure!"

"I-I need to go find him. I need to make sure he's not upset with me," she said as she pushed herself away from him. He waved to her as she started in the direction of Kakashi's apartment.

"Goodluck on your mission, Y/N, not that you'll need it."

______

Kakashi was just about to enter his apartment when she dashed up the stairs and turned the corner, going so fast she nearly slid into the wall. His eyes widened when he saw her, and he froze in his spot, not turning the key to the door just yet. Her face was flush and chest heaved. He could tell she rushed on her way.

"Y/N, did you run all the way here?"

She stood, catching her breath after just having run all the way across town to find him. Her heart raced as she looked up at him, and she clutched at the railing of the stairs for support. "I wanted to say sorry for whatever I said to make you angry with me. I didn't know I was being insensitive."

"I told you I was sick," he replied, but she knew better. And he knew she did. He wasn't dumb. They knew each other better than that and there was no pretending.

"I could tell that was a lie. I know you were angry and I felt terrible."

"Were you just crying?"

She exclaimed back, holding a hand over her heart to maybe try and ease the racing heartbeat, "Maybe. What about it?! I was hurt that I'd offended my friend, isn't that tear-worthy?" She took a few more deep breaths through her mouth, letting the air fill her up and calm her down. "Why were you so upset?"

"It's not important."

"No, no. It's important to me!"

The man paused, thinking over his next words carefully. He very well knew the real reason he ran away from their conversation like a coward. He actually thought it was obvious. It wouldn't hurt for her to know. He sighed, "If you really want to know. It's because I was tired of hearing about your love life. It's not exactly an entertaining subject."

She knew it but admittedly she would be lying if she said she didn't feel her heart break a little at those words. He didn't care about her feelings enough to just sit there and listen to her talk for a couple minutes? Was she that annoying? So many thoughts ran through her head, and each one made her sad. "I just didn't want to go a whole night with Gai talking about it," he added. "It's nothing to do with you."

"I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have brought it up."

"It's fine," he brushed off her apology. "I'm the one who asked about it in the first place."

"Why- why wouldn't you want to hear me talk about other men? Why would that be a sore subject for you?" She asked, her curiosity spiking up through the roof. It was strange, the whole situation. He had never backed down from a personal chat before, only this time.

He felt like a deer caught in the headlights suddenly. How was he supposed to reply to that without blowing his cover. "I just don't like the whole romance thing."

But they both knew that was a lie. He read romance for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But if he wanted to keep his secrets, she would let him. There was no need to pry. She just hoped he would trust her enough in the future to explain what he meant. Secretly, she wished that it was because he was jealous. That he didn't want to hear about another man because he wanted to be that guy, her lover. It was a wild thought, a hopeless theory meant to be thrown out, but she could fantasize.

"Kakashi, we're still good? As friends and all? You'll go out with me and Gai another time then?"

He nodded, his lips quirking up into just a tiny smile. It was characteristic for her mind to go straight to the worst case scenario. He replied, "Of course. Like I said, it's not that bad. Don't worry about it."

"Okay. I'm glad. I really thought I messed up this time."

"I don't think there's anything you could do to make me hate you," he sighed, leaning his shoulder against his door frame. "The day I let you go is the day I die, Y/N."

She smiled, closing her eyes and finally taking a relaxed breath. It was done. He wasn't angry at all. He still cared for her and everything else she could hope for. As long as they could remain friends, it was all gonna be okay. She laughed, "That's what Gai said. Should have listened to him, huh?"

The both nodded and suddenly they were enveloped in a peaceful silence for a while. She stared down at her feet and he watched her quietly, admiring the way she could be so miserably shy yet so adorable at the same time.

"Do you wanna go catch dinner? Or uh, just drinks like we originally planned, if you want," he asked, running his hand through his hair. Her eyes brightened at the question, and he'd be stupid not to notice the new shine in them.

"Do you want to go find Gai first?"

"Actually, how about it just be you and me this time? We'll catch Gai tomorrow morning for breakfast instead."

"Two meals in two days...I'm not made of money."

"It's on me. Don't worry about it."

"Oh, jeez. So nice of you, Kakashi. Thank you! Where are we going?" she asked happily, walking up to him and rolling back in the balls of her feet.

"Wherever you want to go."

"I feel like I'm getting the special treatment. I'm so excited," she cheered, pulling him in the direction of the stairs by the edge of his sleeve.

He just smiled. It was all he could do. He had the most beautiful woman in the entire world in front of him ready to go on a not-exactly date. They were only friends, and she reaffirmed that today when she mentioned she was interested in someone else.

But for now he could pretend they were a thing. That they were dating and that she loved him and he could openly love her back. He would take her out to dinner and kick at her ankles under the table just to annoy her. And he would take a sip of her drink and pretend it was too sweet for him and watch as she struggled to drink a sip of his liquor.

And after he walks her home that night, he would hug her tight to his chest and he would think about kissing her, to pull down his mask for just a split second and press his lips to hers, but he would refrain. It just wasn't the right time. Maybe there would never be a right time either, and that was okay.

As long as they could have nights like these, as long as he would feel her in his arms, he was more than happy. He was in love.

Part Two is up.