#i dont want kids but Aunty Em would be great

[perperam]

OKAY I saw your Instagram post things and I just want to know what are your headcanons for that universe?? Is there any specific AU you imagine the Instagram AUs happening in or do you have specific rules for your own ideal version or

somehow, surprisingly, you're not the only one to ask this !!

okay so funny story at first I literally just drew the instagram things bc I thought yeah harley would be so loved by all of internet generation gen z college kids (as an internet gen z recently graduated undergrad myself)

but then as I made the posts more and more intricate with the comments and stuff it kinda...grew into something bigger? like they actually have a particular AU for them now!! so that's fun

here's what I'm thinkin I want in my social media AU:

world building wise:

neither of them are really "heroes" but they aren't outright supervillains either—like they're anti-heroes that dont give a shit about corporate & capitalist culture

aka they can, have, and will continue to steal from big market names and threaten CEOs, but will also pool money to pay small business and support local folks

much like the vibes of the harley quinn animated series, harley and the rest are literally Just People and go to coffee shops and just hang out in public (the fuck is GCPD gonna do for them drinking coffee, send em to Arkham??)

this makes them really well liked by Gotham's general public

also because ivy has and will kill rapists and bad men on sight and harley has on more than one occasion been linked to crimes where abusers have mysteriously turned up dead or beat to a pulp with a blunt object suspiciously shaped like a bat or sledgehammer

there's this specific tattoo shop harley really likes that she goes to whenever she wants a new piece done, and because of her instagram they've become the most popular place in Gotham, in fact if you go there on any given day you have a 25% chance of seeing harley

also I wasn't kidding when I said harley really would have her own psychiatry clinic and continue to treat people (mostly college kids and criminals) for free because harley says fuck the US health care system and helping others would be really fulfilling to her

harley advertising on her instagram story: hey yall I'll be having a trauma processing session tonight at my clinic please stop by if you want to make an appointment or listen to my lecture

oh also harley has a podcast and the episodes vary from "workout routine" to "breaking the glass ceiling of female supervillains and the male gaze in crime" to "why stealing is sometimes okay" to "studying for the mcat and quick tips" to "perhaps marx was right" to random tangents that go on and on and on

pam on the other hand is not only a feared ex-supervillain but now a revered member of Gotham's city-revitalization planning committee

in between heists for rare floral specimen she plans climate protests and tree-planting events and in general does her damn best to try and bring some sort of green to Gotham in a "legal fashion" (a news source once said this and ivy almost killed the news anchor on the fucking spot from how much rage pumped through her veins in that moment)

characters & dynamics wise:

harley and ivy have been living together and literally married for like, a year now by this point

selina is over so often she might as well be living at their apartment

the gotham city sirens and the batkids are besties!! as they should be (this used to stress bruce out to no end but after the third family dinner dick planned with "aunty harls and pam" he had to eventually give up)

in fact jason and harley often get involved in stupid shenanigans and dick is almost always there with them and literal seconds from being implicated in their scheme somehow

jason is often at harley and ivy’s apartment and can greatly relate to harley in many different ways (from growing up in a crime riddled neighborhood to having intense trauma courtesy of the joker and ivy finds it endearing that he trusts harley enough to let people in (and there is a visible, tangible change in him after he starts getting closer to harley, everyone can feel how much happier he becomes)

harley and ivy are 28 and 32 respectively but because ivy literally has the interests and name of a 90 year old everyone just teases her by calling her "grandma pamela"

the batkids refer to them as aunty harley and aunty (sometimes grandma) ivy and ivy fights every time for a different name but just gave up sometime after tim joined in

ivy and tim get along really well, surprisingly

also alfred literally loves pam because she helps the plants in bruce's neglected green house thrive and ivy really enjoys his company because he's on the same wave length as her and "knows when to shut the fuck up and just bask in the quiet unlike literally all other men"

I think I want babs and dinah to be dating bc have you seen their chemistry and dick and kori to be dating bc again have you seen their chemistry but I'm kinda torn and in between and idk

bud and lou are great cuddle bugs and ivy secretly loves it but pretends she hates it to harley's face bc a girl's gotta save some semblance of dignity right

details:

harley has adhd and you can't convince me, someone with adhd, otherwise

harley has both shitty tattoos that she gets for no other reason other than that it's funny or that she hyperfixates on them super hard for half a second and suddenly there's art on her again and ivy's just ?? when she gets home. she also really meaningful tattoos that she has multiple consultations about

she had two ribcage tattoos before the joker, got three tattoos commemorating him during their (highly abusive) relationship which she immediately covered with new ink upon leaving him, and gets a lot of patchwork style tattoos down her arms and thighs

she has a giant flower tattoo going down her entire spine and it's ivy's favorite thing ever

ivy actually also has a (singular) tattoo and it's a diamond with a stem and leaves as if it were a flower

it's still very much a work in progress but since multiple people have asked me about this I thought I'll dump all my thoughts here

[hallelujuh]

hello yes i just finished lord of the flies (and then watched the 1963 movie immediately afterwards) & i rlly luv piggy so im gonna yell abt Just Piggy Things™ even if no one cares

piggy’s the first character we’re introduced to, after ralph ofc, so that means we’re supposed to get attached, and boy did i get attached..

ass-mar

the fact that he’s been called mean nicknames so long that his real name doesnt matter to him?? he doesnt care what hes called?? poor thing wtf??? hes like eleven hes too little for this

the Flashing Anime Glasses. especially the one w the fire when he starts laughing maniacally. same.

im talking about: “then he laughed so strangely that they were hushed, looking at the flash of his spectacles in astonishment.”

also: “’i got the conch,’ said piggy, in a hurt voice. ‘i got a right to speak.’” let him speak hes the only damn reasonable one. also stop hurting him hes been hurt enough goddamnit 

k but how much he loves ralph? and ralph is annoyed by him??? but then later he confides in him & cries over him & their friendship is my fav in the book so. they bond it just takes a while. but piggy was always good to ralph awe

“i was with him when he found the conch. i was with him before anyone else was.” he finally made a friend dont u take him from him ;-;

k speaking of the conch, in the first movie, his laugh when ralph’s blowing the horn for the first time??? aw??? a rare moment of joy in that sad ass movie?? 

‘63!film piggy is the sweetest & cutest i lob him. ‘90!film piggy was annoying as shit tho i refuse to talk about him.

in the ‘63!film when he puts his hands on his hips when jack says “shut up fatty” and then hides behind the tree when they all laugh at him.

god in the book it’s easy to forget theyre actual babies but with the movie u cant possibly forget and theyre so cute but defenseless it’s so sad

i kno these actors r like 70 or dead now but i wanna go back in time & give them a hug. especially piggy cuz hes a pouty chubby bub gOD IM SO SAD

one last note on the film before i get back to the book: the movie rlly encompassed how awkward i imagined piggy to be & i luv that. also his story time abt camberly was adorable + educational (for me, anyway)

how hurt he is when ralph tells the other boys his name, poor thing ugh :(

“’let him have the conch!’ shouted piggy. ‘let him have it!’” yes stand up for poor lil mulberry child

“piggy knelt by him, one hand on the great shell, listening and interpreting to the assembly.” hes so fuckin sweet??? hes like the mom of the island hes so nice to the littluns i luv him

and when he gets upset over the mulberry boy probably bein killed in the fire :’( hes the most sensible and the most empathetic of all the other boys. what a cinnamon roll. unproblematic fav. true neutral. 10/10. the best boy.

my second favorite line in the whole book: “then, with the martyred expression of a parent who has to keep up with the senseless ebullience of the children, he picked up the conch, turned toward the forest, and began to pick his way over the tumbled scar.” tired mama piggy lmao

he wants to make a sundial?? hes so smart aw

piggy thinking ralph’s patronizing smile was a friendly one :( :( he just wants a friendddd hes so naive & sweet im sadddd

i think it’s implied most of the other boys (particularly the choir boys & ralph) are from a nicer, more upper class part of england, &, despite his intelligence, piggy’s more lower class, judging by his cockney-esque accent (his use of ‘them’ instead of ‘those’, etc.) and also “piggy was an outsider, not only by accent, which did not matter…” idk why this is cute i dunno

“piggy arrived, out of breath and whimpering like a littlun.” me in pe. but also poor thing ;-;

“piggy sniveled and simon shushed him as though he had spoken too loudly in church.” i interpreted shushed as, like, consoled, more than, like, ‘quit crying, ya baby’, which was more what he was doing, but still…first of many cute piggy & simon interactions. i’d ship them but theyre like twelve so nah. but they cute as buddies

“this was too bitter for piggy, who forgot his timidity in the agony of his loss. he began to cry out, shrilly: ‘you and your blood, jack merridew! you and your hunting! we might have gone home-’” this hurts because if jack hadn’t gone hunting, they may have been rescued before simon or piggy died :( :( :( horrible vague foreshadowing

simon getting piggy’s glasses for him when jack throws em ;-;

simon giving his piece of meat (not a euphemism, goddamnit) to piggy.. god simons so sweet hes my second fav

��only, decided ralph as he faced the chief’s seat, i can’t think. not like piggy…he could go step by step inside that fat head of his, only piggy was no chief. but piggy, for all his ludicrous body, had brains.” why does ralph resent piggy sm. it’s like it psychically hurts him to compliment him, even just in his own head. jeez. just cuz someones fat doesnt mean they cant be smart?? the 50s were weird

“piggy came and stood outside the triangle. this indicated that he wished to listen, but would not speak; and piggy intended it as a gesture of disapproval.” aka ‘i’m mad at everyone so im gonna stand two feet away & glare at you all’ aw haha

when he tiptoes onto the triangle cuz hes done w his protesting ahaha aw

“piggy held out his hands for the conch but ralph shook his head.” idk i thought the mental image was cute. “gimme pls” “nuh uh”

what he says about the beast & life being scientific…me & piggy would be buds if he was real lmao

“ralph nodded to piggy. ‘go on. ask him.’ piggy knelt, holding the conch. ‘now then. what’s your name?’ the small boy twisted away into his tent. piggy turned helplessly to ralph..” honestly piggy & ralph are the mom & dad of the colony (jack being the asshole uncle) it’s so cute

“’that’s a clever beast,’ said piggy, jeering, ‘if it can hide on this island.’” sarcastic piggy is sarcastic

more sarcastic piggy earlier in the book: “you got your small fire all right” i lob him

indignant & shrill piggy… and his quote: “’what are we? humans? or animals? or savages?’” honestly lowkey want that tattooed

i fuckin hate jalph but admittedly jack’s jealous lil “’that’s right–favor piggy as you always do.’” is salty & gay lmao

the whole three blind mice convo…i luv

particular highlight in that scene: “’i’m scared of him,’ said piggy, ‘and that’s why i know him. if you’re scared of someone you hate him but you can’t stop thinking about him. you kid yourself he’s all right really, an’ then when you see him again; it’s like asthma an’ you can’t breathe. i tell you what. he hates you too, ralph—’” POOR BABYYY 

also “’i know about people. i know about me. and him. he can’t hurt you: but if you stand out of the way he’d hurt the next thing. and that’s me.” IN THE END ROGER’S THE ONE WHO HURTS HIM UGH :(

“’keep piggy out of danger.’” YOU ASSHOLES LET HIM DIE

piggy holding his breath until his asthma acts up & then the boys just leave him??? what dicks

“jack cleared his throat and spoke in a queer, tight voice. ‘we mustn’t let anything happen to piggy, must we?’” AND THEN YOU LET HIM D I E U SALTY BITCH QUIT IT

“piggy put on his one glass and looked at ralph. ‘now you done it. you been rude about his hunters.’ ‘oh shut up!’” why dont more ppl ship them?? compared to jalph theres nothing??? theyre like a married couple it’s precious. like i said - mom & dad of the island.

piggy getting braver & being more of a leader once jack leaves!!! im proud of him!!

“he [simon] sought for help and sympathy and chose piggy” k the two most humane & sympathetic kids on the island, and the two doomed ones, gravitate towards each other & look out for each other & it so sadd

piggy being “so full of pride in his contribution to the good of society” he didnt deserve his fate he was so good im so sad

samneric & piggy making a little mini feast for them?? thats so cute??? 

also “piggy broke into noisy laughter and took more fruit. ‘he might be.’ he gulped his mouthful. ‘he’s cracked’.” piggy u get teased for bein different why would u tease simon (behind his back too) for bein diffrent u hypocrite. noisy laughter tho aw

piggy & ralph laying by the fire & talking…ralph didnt deserve piggy honestly he wasnt even grateful until the very end for such a good friend in such a horrible situation??? ugh

“when he understood how far ralph had gone toward accepting him he flushed pinkly with pride” see? good friendship. piggy just wanted a friend & to be considered valuable. and ralph finally started appreciating him

“piggy took off his glasses, stepped primly into the water, and then put them on again.” prim: stiffly formal and respectable; feeling or showing disapproval of anything regarded as improper. idk why this is funny to me

when he gets annoyed and starts slapping the water & yelling. temper tatrum lmao. dont blame him

“piggy stirred the sand under water and did not look at ralph. ‘p’raps we ought to go too.’ ralph looked at him quickly and piggy blushed. ‘i mean–to make sure nothing happens.’ ralph squirted water again.” they’re so fuckINGN CUTE

“piggy touched ralph’s wrist. ‘come away. there’s going to be trouble. and we’ve had our meat.’“ SO MUCH OF THIS STORY WOULDVE BEEN AVOIDED IF THE OTHER BOYS ACTUALLY LISTENED TO PIGGY

“ralph sat down in the grass facing the chief’s seat and the conch. piggy knelt at his left, and for a long minute there was silence.” i luv their dynamic sm. ruler & adviser. no questions asked. ultimate loyalty. so good.

piggy trying to be all rational about simon while ralph freaks out…what a scene. also i luv how awkward their convo w samneric immediately after is

piggy wants to be rescued most and hes the one whos killed!!!! bullshit!!!! justice for piggy!!!

when ralph says piggy should write a letter to his auntie & he takes it serious & ralph laughs & piggy doesnt get it. awe.

the scene where they take his glasses ;-; u made my boi piggy hav an ass-mar attack u monsters,

PIGGY GETTIN ALL BADASS & DETERMINED & TALKING ABOUT WHAT HES GONNA TELL JACK 

“he held out the conch to piggy who flushed, this time with pride” and then “piggy sought in his mind for words to convey his passionate willingness to carry the conch against all odds.” the conch is the only constant on the island, the only dependable thing he has besides ralph, so hes so invested in it, hes pretty much deemed himself the caretaker of the conch, and it dies with him…

the scene where piggy reassures ralph & it says “the twins were examining ralph curiously, as though they were seeing him for the first time” is probably my fav scene in the entire book…it just really shows, in a couple of lines, the characters that ralph & piggy are, and what their relationship is like, and why they’re a partnership throughout the whole book. fantastic.

“’am i safe?’ quavered piggy. ‘i feel awful–’” fuckin foreshadowing, i hate it. imagine being practically blind on a cliff and then, minutes later, falling to your death. god it’s terrible.

piggy crying for ralph not to leave him actually hurts like psychically in my chest. him and simon were babies??? i know it’s fiction but kids are the sweetest things, not even fictional kids deserve to be killed so mercilessly??? im so fuckin sad

his last words…powerful and iconic.

i dont wanna talk about his death. im very sad

k ik it’s terrible but when he died his skull cracked open & his brain more or less fell out (”and stuff came out”, “with his empty head”), and thats p macabre but it’s also symbolic and genius bc when roger killed him he also took away the only thing he had going for him, the only thing that gave him superiority over the others - his intelligence. his brain. 

of course, have to end on: “ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart, and the fall through the air of the true, wise friend called piggy.” cue me shutting the book, hugging it to my chest, and sobbing

[gray--dragneel]

I was tagged by @raefill and @raindrop-rouge. Thanks, raendrop :) 1. Are you named after someone?  Nope. Though my name was going to be Breanna but my aunty told this lady that hates my mom and she middle named her child Breanna. She had her baby a month before I was born (who took after her mom and hates me for no reason) so my mom shortened my name to Brea. Pronounced as if it has an H on the end, not as "Bree". Please do not call me Bree. 2. When was the last time you cried? Like an hour ago lmao I read a fic so bittersweet and I am still emotional about it. 3. Do you like your handwriting?  Most of the time, I guess. But if I'm writing quickly it goes to shit. 4. What is your favorite lunch meat?  Does bacon count as lunch meat? 5. Do you have kids? Not that I know of. 6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yes, because I'm always down to be friends with someone who gets and appreciates my sense of humour. 7. Do you use sarcasm? Frequently. 8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yeah. I kind of plan to keep them. Here's hoping. 9. Would you bungee jump? I think the fuck not. I don't do well with heights and I know I'd imagine worst case scenario so hard someone would have to push me over the ledge. 10. What is your favorite kind of cereal? Shreddies. Just the plain kind. 11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Only with my work boots. Otherwise that's just a minute of my life I'll never get back. 12. Do you think you’re a strong person?  I've gotten stronger over the last couple of years, I'd like to think so... kind of? 13. What is your favorite ice cream?  In Canada we have a kind called rainbow ice cream and it is my shit. 14. What is the first thing you notice about people?  When I'm meeting people? Their mood, I suppose. How happy they are to be where they are at that moment, things like that. 15. What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? I have stretch marks I'm not fond of. 16. What color pants and shoes are you wearing now?  Blue skinny jeans and my boyfriend's black converse (don't tell him he'd be salty). He's only like 4 inches taller than I am. We are not a tall couple. So depending on the shoes he buys, there's a chance they're only a size too big for me so I wear em occasionally when I dont feel like putting on my boots or flats. 17. What are you listening to right now?  Killing Me Softly by the Fugees. No, I haven't read Killing Stalking. I'm on the fence about whether I want to though. 18. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?  I wanna say something vibrant like teal or red but I'd probably end up something either more earthy or dark. Like some kinda forest green or a really deep purple that looks black from a distance. 19. Favorite smell?  Coconut! 20. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?  Bae <3 21. Favorite sport to watch?  MMA, hands down. 22. Hair color?  Dark, dark brown. Looks black unless it's in the sun. 23. Eye color?  *brown eyed girl plays in the background* 24. Do you wear contacts?  Usually. I have a pair of glasses I wear at home, though. 25. Favorite food to eat?  I have an obsession with breakfast wraps. Tie between breakfast wraps and spaghetti. 26. Scary movies or comedy?  Laughing is one of my favourite things to do. I love comedies. Stand up comedies are great too. 27. Last movie you watched?  Beary Tales. It's a documentary about a man who raises two orphaned bear cubs. 28. What color of shirt are you wearing?  Burgundy. I think. I'm shit at differentiating between shades. 29. Summer or winter? Summer! I'm a total sun bum. 30. Hugs or kisses?  I love both. Lemme have both. 31. What book are you currently reading?  In Search of Respect: Selling Crack in El Barrio 32. Who do you miss right now?  All of my family on my mom's side. Talks of a reunion are going around though so only a couple more weeks. 33. What is on your mouse pad?  I dont have one. 34. What is the last TV program you watched?  Planet Earth II. I love it so much. 35. What is the best sound?  My favourite sound is entirely too sappy to put here so I'll give you my second favourite. The sound of a fire crackling. 36. Rolling Stones or The Beatles?  The Rolling Stones. The Beatles actually kind of bore the hell out of me. 37. What is the furthest you have ever traveled?  A year and a month ago I went to Mexico for 3 weeks, had a perpetual hang over, had at least a dozen people assume I was Mexican and try to speak Spanish to me, and got darker than I've ever been. I loved it. 38. Do you have a special talent?  Does annoying the people I love for entertainment count? What about if it's affectionate at the same time? 39. Where were you born?  BC, Canada. I'll tag: @r2dsgrace, @stormyjynx, @kiss-me-khaos, @gaysquaredwrites, @ice-bringer, @incrediblytired, @camisadobondaxx Feel free to ignore if you've done it or simply don't feel like doing it.

[epickegster]

thank you to the lovely @brunch-at-jerrys for tagging me in this!!!

1. Who are you named after? 

jacinta marto! she’s a portuguese visionary who. um saw visions of the virgin mary about a hundred years ago and my family is Very Catholic. my parents wanted something that sounded like my viet name and decided that jacinta > jessica sometime along the way and thus began the great name saga

2. Last time you cried? 

friday night while reading fic sdjgkfhdgkdj but i almost cried yesterday during hawayek/baker’s fd bc i was There and I just. i love them also almost cried out of frustration bc they were out of 150 ml titanium white oil paint in the store and i was like....Frustrated lololol

3. Do you like your handwriting? 

it changes a lot but typically i do?? when i write my name it’s cool bc it’s an interesting combo of mostly all caps with a few lowercase sprinkled in 

4. What is your favorite lunch meat? 

bologna, like straight up the stuff that’s cheap, round, and deep pink??? ugh

5. Do you have kids?

no

6. Do you use sarcasm? 

hm

7. Do you still have your tonsils? 

ye

8. Would you bungee jump? 

yes

9. What is your favorite kind of cereal? 

corn pops!!!! that or like kashi with chocolate hdfjkghd i don’t really eat cereal and i never had it with milk but corn pops straight up outta the bag are so gd delicious

10. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

typically not? i just kinda shove em off or die trying

11. Do you think you’re strong?

lol no, like physically, mentally, emotionally? not at all

12. What is your favorite ice cream?

(this sounds so gd bougie) mediterranean sea salt caramel gelato from paciugo along with their wedding cake and espresso, like all together? in one cup? My Death, but like i like good ol chocolate

13. What is the first thing you notice about someone?

eyes/eyebrows, that or their height relative to me if i’m walking (which is funny bc i dont Get Height so like, im basically saying i’m a normal height!! when im walking esp in front of the b school lol)

14. Football or baseball? 

beisbol

15. Your favorite sorting metrics?

uh, probably dnd dgjkdhgfdk

16. What color pants are you wearing? 

grey; they’re marled grey joggers 

17. Favorite smell? 

cheating bc i have two: green eagle oil and this musky baby perfume that my ba ngoai had a tiny roller ball of when i was a kid and i smelled like it all the time as a kid

18. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? 

my mom

19. Favorite sport to watch on tv? 

figure skating! (it’s my fave in general! but i worked for us nationals the past few weeks with event organization and got to see it live and i almost cried a lot during ice dance bc hawayek/baker....my kids jhsgfkdgh...look the shibs I Love Them and Would Bury Myself In The Tundra For Them but like. I want to see h/b on the podium :’oc) 

20. Hair color?

black-brown, it’s like black if you look at it, but it’s dark brown 

21. Eye color? 

brown

22. Favorite food to eat? 

ok i gotta split this into savory and sweet: savory is banh bot loc which is viet food and it’s like a clear tapioca dumpling with, and my fam makes it with shrimp and pork, wrapped and steamed in a banana leaf. ugh i have some in my fridge and boyyyyy and sweet is espresso/rum cake with like. this certain consistency that’s like almost frozen idk how to describe it, it tastes like better tiramisu basically, but my auntie’s friend used to make it real well as a hobby but then she moved off to start her own bakery in cali rip but a place here makes it decent but so $$$

23. Scary or funny movies?

my favorite movie is called dick 

24. Last movie you watched? 

i think it was rodeo and juliet actually dsjkhfkjghd i thought she wanted to fuck the horse for like half the movie and juliet should’ve ended up with nan instead of uggo boy

25. What color shirt are you wearing? 

grey bc im living groutfit life

26. Favorite holiday? 

not a big holiday person, actually??? like my family celebrates so many...but i just. don’t?? i guess i like easter idk?? i like spring!! but my fam is realllll big on christmas like my dad goes ham on decor and we have six nondenominational winter ducks on our lawn they’re my beautiful boys and people call our house the duck house and it sounds like my dad’s name so he finds it funny djfghdfkgjdh but idk i like it when people are happy in general

27. Wine or beer? 

canadian ice wine

tagging: @pennslayvania / @anneshakespeare / @zimmermanns my go-tos and anyone else!! bls...