#i dont pay close attention to this man's life so it might be perfectly verifiable that he does not manipulate women but idk mann

[stellardeer]

I can't stop ruminating on the post I made yesterday where I mentioned not liking the way Drake talks about women in his songs, and I keep trying to justify myself to a fake person in my head, so I'm just gonna write it all down cause I'm on my vyvanse and It's Thoughts Time.

So yesterday I talked about how I haven't been a fan of Drake for a while, even before the incident with Millie Bobby Brown when everyone stopped trusting him, because of the way that he talks to/about women in his songs.

And one could argue that there are plenty of artists who say terrible sexist/misogynistic things about women in their songs, calling them "bitches" and "hoes", using them as props, what have you. Why single out Drake? Why do I say he seems like "the next R Kelly"?

Well, refer to Exhibit A, article detailing R. Kelly's "sex cult". I believe this was the exact article that I read when I first heard about the shady shit that R Kelly was getting up to. This was published in 2017, two years before the sex trafficking charges against him in 2019, at which time the focus was on his underage victims. But the TL;DR for the article above is that R Kelly had his own little sex cult going, consisting of adult women, most of whom he met because they wanted a career in music and they trusted him as an artist and he offered to mentor them. He ends up in an intimate relationship with them, and then they end up moving into a house of his, along with other women under the same circumstances, complete with an older "den mother" type who was there essentially to teach these girls how to please and serve Mr. Kelly.

When people talk about the nasty things that R. Kelly has done, nobody ever really brings this one up. I'm not sure if it's because they just don't know about it, but I would argue that the reason they don't know is because it is not as sensationalized, because this was happening to adult women, not minors. And the women didn't necessarily complain. In fact, they'd have told you they were happy and nothing was wrong and they were being treated well and WANTED to be there, despite having given up whatever passion it was they were pursuing that led them to this life in the first place, and now existing solely as R. Kelly's plaything. These were consenting adult women, so why should anyone care? (Though, surprise surprise, some of them came forward to disclose that everything was not actually fine.) Sadly, this is just how cults work though. I advise reading more on how cults recruit people in order to understand why the consent in these situations is dubious, NXIVM is one in particular that comes to mind if you want a place to start.

Honestly, I think that if I hadn't read the article above ("Exhibit A"), I wouldn't have even been put off by anything in Drake's lyrics. It's very subtle, though. It's the way that it seems like he wants all of the women in his life to stay loyal to him. It doesn't matter if they aren't officially "together" or if he hasn't seen them in months or if he doesn't even speak to them anymore. If they're one of his girls, they should always be one of his girls, ride or die. They aren't allowed to have relationships with other men, but he can have as many relationships with as many women as he wants and they need to just be fine with it. I hear it in "Hotline Bling". I hear it in "In My Feelings". There's probably more that I'm forgetting but it's been a while since I've listened to a song of his and those are two I remember. Just so I could have some credibility I did a search on his relationships and he even admits that he prefers to date 4 or 5 women at a time. He never degrades these women with sexist language in these songs, in fact "In My Feelings" could even be read as a wholesome song, but I couldn't help but feel the ick. I might even just be reading too much into it, but I couldn't ignore how uncomfortable it made me feel so I just stopped listening to his music.

Then the Millie Bobby Brown situation happened and it was like oh okay so I wasn't crazy, and now everybody else sees it too. It should be noted that nothing was ever confirmed as far as him having an inappropriate relationship with her, just that he was "texting her boy advice" and that she was reluctant to divulge details of the conversation because it was private. That alone is enough to raise red flags though, like how did you even come into contact with this 14 yo girl, what connection do you have to her? Why were you texting her privately and talking about dating? Too sus, sorry.

But I can't help but feel like, again, people only notice when it's happening with minors. I'm not sure how many people understand that "grooming" is not a synonym for "pedophilia". It's most often associated with children, especially teens, because teens are a little more savvy and may need extra steps to take advantage of, but even a fully confident grown ass adult can be groomed. Granted, the younger you are the more likely it is to work. I'm pretty sure all of the women in R. Kelly's sex cult were around 18-19 when he met them. There is no magical threshold of wisdom and maturity that you cross the second the clock strikes midnight on your 18th birthday. Predators target younger people because they know that they are more likely to be naive and to not know the signs of abuse or the signs of a cult or the signs of manipulation. But because the people involved are all technically adults, and seemingly consenting, nobody wants to assume anything nefarious is at play. It's only when they get bold and start going after younger and younger targets that it becomes a problem.

I absolutely believe that if Drake could have his own little harem of obedient women he probably would. And that, to me, is way more dangerous than someone just calling women "bitches" in a song.

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

I Give Up - part 27 (A Baekhyun Series)

Genre: suspense / angst

Characters: Baekhyun X You

A/N: Trigger warning: violence, attempted assault: sexual/physical, drugs/alcohol.

I Give Up -  part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5 , part 6 , part 7 , part 8 , part 9 , part 10 , part 11 , part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19, part 20, part 21, part 22, part 23, part 24, part 25, part 26, part 27, part 28 FINAL,

I Give Up Deleted Scenes Masterlist

The Notebook  Kinks 1   Pink Heart Days 

You were putting on mascara when your phone buzzed, letting you know of an incoming text. It was probably one of the friends who were meeting up later at the small bar near campus. You swiped when you recognized Minah’s name, your best friend who you had invited along. Your exams and being so busy with your boyfriend had made you neglect your best friend lately and you made her promise to join tonight.

When Baekhyun found out you were bringing Minah along he seemed to settle down a bit about your classmate, and study buddy Kim Youngshik who was going as well. While you understood his reservations, you really didn’t think he had to treat the guy like his arch nemesis simply because the guy seemed to have a little crush on you.

Surely an intelligent guy like Youngshik had enough understanding to accept that you were unavailable and clearly not interested in him that way. He was a friend. A good friend who lent you notes for classes he had already taken that he knew you would need soon, and even gave you heads up about which professors to stay away from. With how far removed Baekhyun was from college life, it was difficult for him to understand the benefits of making friends with your classmates, especially the super helpful ones like Youngshik.

It wasn’t like you gave Baekhyun a hard time about hanging out with all of those beauties from the different idol groups. Just recently you had seen him being sweet online with Yoona of SNSD, during one of those LOL broadcasts. You knew the man well enough to recognize his body language and you knew what a slightly flustered nervous flirt looked like.

You hadn’t said a thing about it! You just closed the browser on your laptop with a few more mouse clicks than necessary and maybe you slammed the screen shut a bit too hard. You handled that like a perfectly reasonable adult and the funny noise your laptop had been making lately had nothing to do with your jealousy.

Did he really have to speak so cutely to his translator like that? Did he have to give her all those coupons too? Couldn’t he just….not?

No no…that was just him. He was sweet and generous and he was easy for a laugh and quick with a blinding smile. There was nothing at all behind the gifts. That was just Baekhyun.

And he was yours.

”Oh shit, Is this you?!!!” the text from Minah was well punctuated and had a link leading to some sort of celebrity news article site. You usually tried not to pay attention to these things. Celebrity gossip news was garbage and rarely based on any real facts, but you felt your stomach drop a bit when you clicked on the link, seeing the word EXO in the link words.

When the page loaded you felt dizzy and just a little more nauseated than you should feel right now.

EXO Member Caught Dating - Exclusive Photo Evidence Inside

You have never clicked on a link so fast in your life, feeling an instant annoyance at the slow loading website with annoying ads. The article was sparse. Promising loads of juicy details without actually delivering a thing and by the time you reached the end you had learned that the gossip reporters had received a tip. Absolute proof that a member of popular Idol Group EXO had a girlfriend and the article cut off with a link accessible only to paid subscribers of the news site.

Your phone was out and you were texting Baekhyun as that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach swelled and settled like a stubborn rock refusing to budge.

Your fingers weren’t quite working on your touchscreen keyboard and you groaned in frustration as you opted to call him instead.

“Hello?” His answer was instantaneous and you checked the tone of his voice for any signs that anything at all could be wrong.

“Baek, what–” You could feel the panic bubbling inside your throat and a quick steadying breath to calm yourself some interrupted your words, “–what are you doing now?”

“Hmm?” He hummed on the line, sounding like the same sweet man you had grown so used to, so comfortable with and you tried to ignore that stupid rock in your gut.

“Ahh, I’m laying down in my bed, feeling abandoned and unloved because my girlfriend is going out with her friends tonight and she told me I can’t come along. I’m thinking about crying a little bit later.”

His dramatics were perfectly intact and you came to the instant conclusion that he either didn’t yet know about the gossip article, or it wasn’t anything concerning. You hoped and prayed it was the later.

“Umm.” You inhaled a deep breath and decided the best way to approach this was to be direct.

“T-There’s an article on some stupid website that Minah just sent me…and I was just–”

“Ahh, is it the one about an EXO member dating?” He interrupted you in his soft voice and you felt a small speck of relief when you heard that voice.

He knew about it, yet he didn’t sound upset at all. He didn’t sound nervous or mad and you simply hummed in response to him. The panic you felt earlier had shifted into a sort of confusion about the reality of the situation.

“It said there were pictures, but I couldn’t see them I dont–” this time you interrupted yourself, unable to formulate any real conclusions without any facts about the situation.

“You dont think…it’s that person do you? The one that Hilda found? S-She said she had pictures, what if…what if she did something already?”

“Well if she did, we will have to handle it.” His words sounded so casual you stared ahead in disbelief, trying to will yourself to feel as calm as he sounded.

Could you really handle it? Could his career handle a huge scandal and could you handle the knowledge that you contributed to such a damaging blow to the man you loved?

“The pictures haven’t been released yet anyway, so we don’t know if their claims are even true. My manager said something about someone on twitter and I heard a couple of other members names. I’m not that concerned. Hilda will take care of it.”

How could he be so calm and dismissive about this? You felt like you wanted to vomit and he wasn’t that concerned.

“What time are you meeting Minah at the bar? What are you going to wear? Will you eat before you drink?” He was talking faster, asking his usual overprotective questions that somehow served to settle your mind back into your usual light mood when you spoke to him.

“I’m wearing the shortest skirt I own of course.” You teased in response and you heard him whine. You knew the look you would find on his face. The usual disgruntled pout.

“Are you sure you’re only going to one bar and then coming straight home?”

You had reached a point in your relationship with Baekhyun where you knew when it was time to put a stop to his dramatics, or risk getting stuck in this trap. His endless worries and protectiveness, paired with his capacity for impressive theatrics usually had to be kept in check for his own good.

“Oh, Minah just texted me that she’s leaving. I’ll be good I promise and I’ll call you later, I love you baby.” You may have had to stretch your truths with him when he got like this, and you really would text Minah as soon as you hung up with him. He didn’t need to know every single detail.

“You better answer my calls.” The threat in his voice sounded pretty believable this time and you hummed into the line before you hung up the phone to finish getting ready.

Okay so maybe your shortest skirt stayed behind in your closet, opting for skinny jeans and a flowy top. But you swore to yourself it had nothing to do with your sweet, slightly fragile boyfriend who was waiting at home for you to send him a selfie of you arriving safely in the bar. You pulled Minah close beside you and made her smile for the picture, sure to capture your whole image so he could verify that you were, in fact, in one piece and completely safe.

“Where is whats-his-face?”

His response came quick and you assured him that you didn’t know where Youngshik was, nor were you in any hurry to greet him tonight.

“Put your phone away, he will be fine without you for one night!” Minah had two drinks in her hand and was shoving one of them into your open hand as she pulled you further into the bar. You heard the sounds of music growing louder and what sounded like karaoke. Some pour soul was butchering one of your favorite songs and you decided that a few shots might help you handle that better.

Your first drink went down fast and with your giggling best friend on your arm, encouraging you to let loose you may have lost track of how many drinks you had as the laughter grew louder, the music grew more fun and much more tolerable, despite the endless chain of off key singers who took the stage and familiar smiles around the tables greeted you again and again. Some with hugs, others with jokes and one in particular with a request.

“Oh come on…” Youngshik was tugging on your arm. From the glassy look in his eyes you could tell he was drunk. Not falling down, but he definitely felt different than the usual studious dean’s list student you had gotten to know well during the semester.

“Come dance with me,” he whined with a pout on his face and a silly little hip wiggle that made you snort. You were too drunk to refuse the silly request and you headed toward the small space between the tables where a few friends were dancing to the upbeat song playing on the screen.

Dancing with Youngshik was fun. You weren’t particularly aware of much but he kept his hands to himself, thankfully and when the song was over you turned to head back to your table where your phone sat alone, waiting for you to check on. You thought you saw it light up once when you were making your way toward it but the lights in the bar were flashing with the music played too loudly, making you second guess yourself…making you think you saw things. Was it buzzing? You had nearly reached it when you felt a hand reach for yours and the surprise made you turn to look.

Youngshik was back. His glassy eyes blinking at you wide, you felt his hand wrap around your wrist and pull you back. Almost roughly, just enough to surprise you and make you look down at your wrist as it moved toward where he pulled.

“You need to come back, please dance just one more with me, come on.” He turned back toward where you had been dancing and you noticed the song had changed. The lights in the bar were pulsing with the beat of the music and every turn of your head sent the room spinning in a way that took just a second too long to settle.

“Are you okay?” Your feet had traveled, carrying you to the same spot where you had been laughing and dancing just minutes before…before you had left for something. What was it?

Someone was tapping and rubbing along your back now and you looked up, finding his eyes.

“Oh…oh it’s you, Youngshik.” You smiled a wide smile that he watched with curiously strange eyes for a moment before you saw him return it with a bright inviting smile of his own.

“Yeah its me. We were dancing remember? And then you ran away.” He frowned dramatically and you lifted your head feeling the shift in the music. The song that played now was slower and your dance partner didn’t seem to be bothered by the change one bit.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem to be drunk.” He giggled now and Minah howled with laughter in the background. The boys she had been talking to were making her laugh, feeding her new drinks with the sort of reckless abandon reserved for college life. This time when you were young and invisible and game for anything.

“I’m okay,” you said with a smile on your face that hopefully looked at least a little bit sober, “let’s dance then.”

You felt yourself give in to him. Had he always been this convincing?

The song was slow and you swayed with the beat for a while, willing the room to settle down some. There was a bit of relief when the chaotic lights stopped their assault on your senses and you could finally open your eyes.

You felt warm. Flushed and humid and someone had you in their arms as you swayed to the music.

How long was this song?

You had to check your phone. You were sure you saw it light up before. Before when you had tried to come back to the table and you were pulled away by…who was holding you so tightly?

Your head swam as you lifted it and you found the owner of the arms who held you upright was so familiar, yet different somehow. He held on too tight and he smelled wrong. Not like the one you loved, this one was…wrong.

His hands held too tight and when you looked up saw his face descending quickly. What was he doing? He wasn’t about to kiss you was he?

You pushed back, resisting, expecting him to loosen his grip around your waist quickly but feeling a weird resistance and a darkening in his eyes that sent a chill down your spine.

“Where are you going? We are dancing.” The voice that sounded close to your ear had an edge to it that you didn’t like and you felt a wave of something wash over you. What was that? It wasn’t pleasant. But the alcohol in your system was clouding everything you felt and made it hard to describe.

“I don’t want to dance with you anymore.” You said suddenly as you pushed out of his arms. Why did you have to push so hard to get him to let go? Perhaps your strength had been used up during the dance. Maybe he was holding on that tight.

The shove had been hard and you saw him stumble back, hitting his leg against a chair behind him that bumped against the table with your friends and classmates. A beer fell, a shout was heard out and you turned and made your way toward the bar. Your destination wasn’t for more alcohol but the bathrooms and you found the familiar symbol that told you this was the ladies room, pushing inside.

The air inside the bathroom felt cooler. The door closed behind you and muted the loud music that you hadn’t even realized had been muddling your brain until it shut off and the relief you felt was palpable.

You took your time, emptying your bladder and washing your hands in the sink before you splashed the cool tap water over your face, careful not to mess up your eye makeup, but feeling comfort in the coolness over your cheeks.

Your face was flushed and red from the heat and the drinks and you stared for a long while at your reflection before you heard a sound behind you.

You saw a familiar face and Minah smiled at you, clearly drunker than you were. You remembered the drinks the boys at the table had been pushing on her and she bounded in with her arms wide as she hugged you tightly, kissing your cheek over and over as she giggled.

“Youuu–” she slurred and you laughed. “Youngshik likes you. Didn’t you tell him you have a boyfriend?”

“It’s not like that Minah. We are just friends.” you responded, all the while thinking of the tense discomfort you felt moments earlier while dancing with him. In the quiet of the bathroom you began feeling a more clear headed now that you were out of the noise and the lights of the bar.

“I think I’m going to go home with Hoseok,” she giggled, “have you seen his ass lately? I’m going to get that.” Her voice was full of drunken confidence and you leaned against the counter as you waited for her to pee and come back out of the stall she had disappeared inside.

“Hoseok? Is he the one with the shiny shirt or the one with the mushroom haircut?”

“Shiny shirt. Mushroom is Minhyuk…although Minhyuk is really fucking hot too. I don’t care, either of them would do–” her giggles echoed out from behind the stall, “or both of them.”

“–if I disappear forever tonight, just know that I died a happy woman.”

You both emerged from the sanctity of the ladies room, feeling the stifling heat, the smell of too many patrons in one place and the raucous laughter of drunken mischief surround your head instantly.

“Oh you and your casual hookups…just be careful Minah. You know I need you.” She leaned into your arms around her as she laughed.

“And I need sex sometimes. We can’t all be as lucky as you…sex god as a boyfriend and all.” Her voice was loud and you raised your hand to her mouth to silence the ridiculous words she was spewing before she could accidently say his name, or anything else that definitely didn’t need to be broadcasted in this place.

She pulled your hand down and gave you a sassy look

“Oh settle down, I may be drunk but I still remember the confidentiality agreement that showed up with a lawyer at my house the day after I met him.”

Her words made you stop your forward movement and you felt her stumble when you suddenly stopped. Her arms around you going slack for a moment before she let go.

She looked into your surprised face before she wrinkled her nose and shook her head, taking a few unstable steps to close the distance between you both.

“I guess you didn’t know that part. Yeah, we all got them. Dahee, Jaewoo, Taeil, everyone who knows about you and him–”

Your fuzzy mind was having trouble processing the flood of information you suddenly had thrust at you.

Baekhyun had sent lawyers to your friends and made them sign legal documents? Your expression must have looked worried because you felt her warm arms around you, pulling you in for a tight hug.

“Don’t worry about it. You know more than anything I was…impressed,” she rubbed along your back as she hugged you, reassuring you with her words against your ear, “he seems to really love you. The measures he takes to keep you safe and happy feel very genuine.”

You felt her release you and she smiled as you began to soften up some.

You had both reached the tables, walking by groups of classmates who laughed, flirted, even made out with each other and you looked around for Youngshik, feeling a weird unease at not knowing exactly where he was for some reason. You couldn’t be sure of the source of this weird feeling, but even significantly dimmed by the alcohol in your system, you were certain that this Youngshik felt different than the one you had been close with all semester.

Was it just the alcohol?

When you sat down at the table you saw your phone right where you had left it and you picked up to check for messages or missed calls.

Honestly you expected at least one message or one call. Something.

But strangely the thing was bare. Not a single message waiting, no notifications pending. Not even a voicemail.

Perhaps you had imagined it. The illumination you were sure you had seen on your phone as you tried to return to the table, only to be pulled back by your drunk dance partner demanding another dance. Was it really just the lights in the club?

You grabbed your phone and glanced around once more, checking for your small change purse that you had stuffed in your pocket with important things like your license and your cash, you stood, suddenly deciding that you needed just a bit of air. Just a bit of a break from this stuffy club and the loud laughter and these two people all over each other in the booth next to you.

The front door of the bar was busy, packed with people filtering in and out and you waited for what felt like forever for a pause in the traffic. Finally you saw an out and you took it, slipping past the people onto the sidewalk outside.

The peace wasn’t as overwhelming and instant as you hoped it would be because the crowds of people out here were just as thick, just as drunk and just as obnoxious.

“Hey baby where you going?” A bro with a backwards cap and a ridiculous accent shouted in your direction as you brushed past him, ignoring the laughter that seemed to be cut short suddenly behind you.

Your curiosity was overshadowed by the haze in your vision as you walked and tried to keep your feet moving forward.

The one thing he told you, don’t get wasted. And here you were, having completely lost track of the number of drinks you had as you wandered outside of this club alone, desperate for the ground to quit trying to spin away from your legs like that.

The ground wasn’t cooperating and you felt your phone buzzing inside the back pocket of your jeans. Waking and finding your phone was too much so you had to stop and lean against the quiet space off to the side of the bar. Nearly in the alleyway, the light from the street lamps provided enough light for you to see ahead of you just fine.

His name flashed across your screen…well the name you had in your phone for him. A leftover from your first meeting, when he showed up in your parents dry cleaning shop with a stained shirt.

“Hello My love…” You held the phone to your ear, feeling the overwhelming love you felt course through you just by seeing him call your phone.

“Where the fuck are you?” His words flew through your ear like a bullet seeking its target and you flinched at the harshness you heard. It was his voice, you were sure of it, but he sounded so tense and worked up that you had to pull the phone away from your ear for a second to control the flare of nerves that rushed through your body.

“W-What do you mean? You know where I am?”

“And Him? Where the fuck is that piece of shit? Do you know what it feels like to–” You could hear the anger now, flooding through the phone and you knew he would be so consumed by it that the words were getting jumbled.

You felt blindsided by it though. Where was this coming from? He had been happy when you last talked to him and he didn’t even call you while you had been out.

Your heart sped up inside your chest and you shook your head, trying to make some sense of this sudden mood. This sudden rage that had taken over him again.

He groaned away from the phone and you heard a car horn honking noisily on the line. Was he driving? While this mad? What if something happened to him?

“Would you care to explain to me, why he is answering your phone for you…asking, no fucking demanding to know who the fuck I am and why I would be calling your phone?” His voice dropped to a low growl as he spoke words you couldn’t quite make any sense of.

“Who a-answered my p-phone Baekhyun?” Your mind was a mess and your mouth didn’t get the words out as smoothly as you wanted, not with him yelling at you like this. You felt nervous and confused and quite drunk to be honest.

“How drunk are you? You sound like you’re completely wasted, I can’t fucking believe this.” He let out a loud puff of air over the mic of his phone and you could hear the squealing of brakes before he came back on the line from whatever he had done in his car.

“‘S-She doesn’t have a boyfriend? She’s mine now?’ Did you tell him you didn’t have a boyfriend? Why would he say that to me?”

“Who are you talking about Baekhyun? I don’t know what you are saying–”

The words cut off when you felt the absence of the phone that laid warmly over your ear just a second before.

Where was his voice? His angry breathing and the sounds of his horn honking and his brakes stopping short? Your hand was empty and you looked behind you as soon as you felt it. The tell-tale presence of someone warm and alive standing behind you.

The surprise of the phone being taken didn’t quite compare to the chest trembling shaking that you felt when you heard that same cell phone fly across the alley way you stood in and hit the wall of the opposite building, shattering glass and plastic as it hit.

You shrieked in genuine fear and surprise but that sound was muffled by a hand over your mouth. You felt your legs moving, shoved deeper into the darkness of the alley as the wall behind you came up fast. Too fast, it hit you hard and the sensation of heavy arms over your chest made it hard to breathe.

Your eyes were wide as your heart beat fast in your chest. The fuzziness of the alcohol made your reality swim and you looked ahead into cold glassy eyes as a sick sinking feeling consumed your body.

Eyes that looked familiar, yet so different from the same ones you had seen all semester. Sweet, friendly, smiling and helpful before, but now you saw nothing but coldness. And anger? But…why?

“You just don’t get it do you?” Youngshik whispered out in a soft voice against your face. The smell of his breath, acrid and vile up close made your stomach churn and you pushed against the weight of his arms over your chest as you tried to scream.

The sound didn’t come out. His hand over your mouth was too tight and the effort made you dizzy. Your hands gripped against them, trying desperately to pull his hands off of you in vain. He was too strong and too blinded by whatever rage was happening inside his head.

“I thought you were smart, but you keep on disappointing me.” You felt a pain where his arms pushed against your chest, leaning over you too hard now and your faced screwed together in agony. The action felt deliberate, but the look in his eyes was suddenly disconnected as he watched your face. Those eyes moved slowly, taking their time as he watched you up close and you felt your skin crawling as he did it. When he shifted his weight you felt his arm move from the crushing hold it kept over your chest and the weight of his legs moved around yours, pinning you against the wall with strong thighs that kept you from escaping. The heat of his body was on you, making your stomach churn as the nausea took over your body. With the way he pushed up against you like this you felt the unmistakable bulge he pressed against your thigh. You whined and tried to wiggle away from him.

His eyes followed his fingers now, the arm he just freed was trailing lightly along your hairline when you felt him grip roughly, the hair on the side of your head, pushing it hard against the wall.

The pain was intense and you winced as you tried to move in the direction he pulled.

“I gave you so much. I worked so hard for you, helping you as much as I could and for what? What have you given me? Not a thing. But stupid girls like you just don’t get it. I guess should just fucking take it.” Your cries were still muffled by his hand that grew sweaty now as he partially covered your nose, making you feel dizzier and light headed the longer he did it. The tears streaming from your eyes now added to the wetness of his hand. Your breathing gasped through your nose desperately trying to get some fresh air, anything you could get, but his hand was too tight. Your hand swung out, trying to grab ahold of something, anything. You made contact with skin, somewhere on him, his arm or his face, you couldn’t know for sure but each scratch of your nails went ignored.

“All you had to do was break up with him. That’s it. I made it so easy for you. I even used my sister’s stupid fancafe account and her stationary so you would take the threat seriously … when I found out who he was I couldn’t fucking believe my luck. She just happened to be one of those stupid morons who in hopelessly in love with that asshole.”

His words had an echo that rattled inside your ears but their truth hit you hard. Had he sold the pictures he had? Was this bomb waiting to drop as soon as that magazine decided to release the proof. But what were the pictures? You didn’t doubt Youngshik’s insanity at this point. The lengths he was willing to go to get what he wanted had been made abundantly clear. How damning would those pictures be? Career ending? Cataclysmic and so revealing they would follow Baekhyun around for the rest of his life? Your panic rose inside your chest and you felt the world grow just a little greyer as the ugliness was made more pronounced.

The street lights behind his head in the alley had taken on a flickering behavior, as if they were going out. Blinking in and out over his head the dizziness was changing the longer he kept his hand over your nose and those lights were so dim.

“He’s not even that special. That’s not a real man, I’ll show you a real man–”

You heard a sound. Something loud and something significant so up close and those glassy eyes that had been glaring wicked at you shifted with that sound.

What was that sound? Your eyes tried to open but you were slipping lower, down onto the ground, the rough bricks at your back scraping against your shoulders as you sunk lower until you sat on the floor, dizzy and gasping.

Because you could breathe. His hand was gone and you gasped in desperately, filling your lungs with precious air finally, but unable to get enough. It wasn’t enough. You needed more, you gasped and choked, filling yours lungs over and over. Your mind was pulled by a sick fleshy sound as you fell forward onto your hands. The trembling in your chest was too much and there was something happening right in front of you.

Something noisy. The sounds of impacting flesh…someone hitting something, or someone, again and again and you then you saw him. He grunted and growled with each punch. His familiar black coat and a facemask over his face, hood over his head and he was on top of that…that.. evil man who had tried to hurt you.

Baekhyun must have pulled him off of you but something felt so wrong with the man you loved. His sweetness was gone. His smiles and laughter were a distant memory as he hit Youngshik, over and over again, the growling you heard from him as he hit had stopped and his breathing echoed out so hard. His eyes were focused and driven as he hit, smashing his fist into the man’s face with such force you knew something would break. Whether Baekhyun’s fist or Youndshiks face or both.

Baekhyun was gone. He was so consumed with the rage you saw trembling as he pulled up roughly on the bloody faced man, shaking him hard with his fist tight around his collar until his eyes slit open, waking up just enough for another punch.

You stared at the scene before you trying to recognize either man.

“Baekhyun,” you said, finding that your voice worked. The tremors in your body had subsided enough for you to recognize what was happening and you knew you had to stop him.

He had to stop. For his own sake, for the sake of the man you loved, you had to stop him. Before this destroyed him and everything he had worked for his entire life, this had to stop.

“Baekhyun stop,” you said again louder and you caught the tick of his head as he looked up, fist raised mid air. His knuckles were red and bloody and his head turned to you.

Youngshik coughed weakly, spitting out blood from his lips and the grip that Baekhyun had around the man’s collar fell, sending the back down onto the pavement with a grunt of pain.

Baekhyun looked down at the man below him before he looked back at you, his eyes changing and clearing the more he saw you and he was moving, scrambling away from the fight, from the violence and from the anger he was moving toward you with his arms outstretched.

“Baby…” his voice was quiet and muffled by the mask and the heavy breathing but his voice was his own.

You felt his hands reach for yours and closer as he crouched before you on his ankles. His hands reached for your face before you saw his eyes glance down at his hands. He winced at the bloody mess of his hands and pulled them back, not touching your skin with his hands like you had wanted him to.

You reached instead. If he wouldn’t do it you would and you felt him lean closer when you reached for his waist, slinking your hands under his coat, against the warmth of his body, over the thin tshirt that seemed much too cold for this night.

Baekhyun gave in to your touch and fell down off his ankles onto his knees before you and you felt his warmth wrap tightly around you.

“Shhh…” you heard him whispering over your head and your mind whirled to realize that the crying sound was coming from your own lips.

“Shhh, baby you’re okay,” he said as he held you tighter and rubbed harder over your back.

Even now, with the sweat from the fight, the dirt and blood on his hands and the stress from the night you felt it. The complete and undeniable comfort and safety in his warm arms. You breathed in as best you could through the quiet cries that shook your chest and the smell of him filled your senses. Drowning out the fear and the noises erupting around you as people arrived.

“Mr. Byun, Didn’t I tell you not to come here alone?” A serious voice spoke over your head. Familiar and accented, you looked up to see Hilda, the woman in charge of security.

Baekhyun didn’t respond to her and you felt him pulling you up to your feet, his arms firm and steady around your waist.

“Come on, let’s go to the hospital.” He wasn’t responding to Hilda or to anyone else from the group of men in black suits that asked him questions.

You heard Hilda’s voice again, the curt all business way she spoke made you open your eyes again.

“You must not go to back to your car. There are crowds now. People have been taking pictures. It’s not exactly a conspicuous car… your name is already being circulated on twitter” .

“What about the ones I hit,” he responded.

“The driver of the motorcycle on the sidewalk and the other parked car have already been dealt with,” she let out an exasperated sigh as her eyes narrowed in his direction. “But did you really have to drive on the sidewalk? This is such a mess.”

“And what would have happened to her if I waited behind with you? I don’t pay you to follow the fucking traffic laws, I pay you to protect my family,” he snapped and you saw the glance the woman gave you before she shut her mouth with a small nod of her head.

“Give me your car.”

She nodded and lifted her eyebrows in the direction of a black sedan that was parked in the alley.

“At least let me drive,” she said.

The first steps felt uneasy and you leaned into him, not quite getting why you felt so weak. Was this just from the alcohol. Perhaps you were in shock from the attack.

“Can you walk?” He said above your head and your feet stumbled against themselves.

He bent down and you were flying. Lifted so high into the air you felt swaying and the breeze along your face, your arms wrapped around his neck and you felt the dizziness take over as you slumped against his shoulder, nuzzling into his neck, you craved his warmth and his smell. Anything that would tell you you were safe with him now. That he was okay and that you were okay.

“Me. Byun I will take her to the hospital. Please you should leave before someone sees you.” A low voice you didn’t know spoke with authority and you felt his grip tighten around you.

“Absolutely not. She doesn’t leave me.”

The path to the car took you by by the man who did this. He was awake and sitting up against the wall, what looked like a private doctor for hire examining him, asking him questions with big scary looking men with suits and ear pieces looming over them. Next to the men stood another man in a police uniform. Strangely silent and uninvolved, you wondered if the policeman was real or if he was just there to look real. He definitely didn’t feel like a policeman the way he ignored you, not even bothering to take any statement from you before you were taken away. He didn’t once look up at Baekhyun as he carried you away, despite having clearly been involved in this fight that left the other guy so broken and hurt.

Youngshik looked dazed and hurt and you watched until he moved. You stiffened and gasped when his dark eyes looked up at you.

“Don’t look at him, love,” Baekhyun whispered into your ear and you closed your eyes tightly.

Hilda drove quickly and you found your mind drifting as you laid against his chest in the back seat of the car and listened to his heartbeat.

You must have fallen asleep because you woke hours later in a hospital bed with an awful taste in your mouth. You lifted your hand, feeling the tug of the IV in your hand and you heard voices you recognized.

Weird words were thrown around and the dizziness in your head was fading as you listened.

You heard the word drugged and lucky and you searched searched for the source of the voices.

Baekhyun and your mom stood at the foot of the bed speaking with a doctor in a white coat and you moaned at the pain you felt in your head.

Their three faces turned and you were rushed upon by your mom who reached for your hand, squeezing tight as she looked closely at your face, asking a million questions in only one breath that made you blink wide at the woman as you willed her to speak quieter.

“If Baekhyun hadn’t been there–” She was crying now and from the look of her puffy eyes, this wasn’t the first time tonight. His hand was on her shoulder and she rose quickly to wrap her arms around his neck as she wept and muttered her sincere thanks. He hugged her tight, catching your eyes for a moment before he closed them. Swallowing away the pain you saw behind those eyes with his closed lids.

The fuss died down and you were made to eat something that you could only choke down half of. Your mom left making him promise to take care of you and soon you found yourself sitting up in the bed with his eyes watching you silently.

Baekhyun looked tired. His hair was flat and lifeless against his forehead and his right hand had bandages over the knuckles.

“Did you crash your car?” You broke your own silence and he licked his lips and swallowed before he blinked with a small nod of his head.

“Yeah, a little bit.” His eyes were still on you, a strange look in them. Neither admonishing or disappointed, he looked at you with what you could only describe as a silent reverie of thanksgiving.

He had been there.

You felt the emotions sneaking up on you as he looked at you. He leaned forward with his lips parted and let out a quiet exhale of breath before his hands lifted and he covered his face with both of them. His elbows rested on your bed, near your hand with the painful IV and you reached your fingers out to graze against his arm. Lightly touching, feeling the warmth of man you loved more than anything else in the whole world.

He let out a quiet, nearly inaudible gasp and his shoulders began to tremble. He was so silent as he wept.

He has been so strong and you felt the pain inside your chest as he gave in to it. The fear, the stress, the near tragedy of it, he withstood it like a pillar of strength.

Yet with you, at your hospital bed without another soul present, he could finally break down.

“I thought… I thought I wouldn’t make it in time.” Muffled by his hands over his face and by the quiet sobs, you made barely out his words.

“Don’t…don’t you scare me like this again, I can’t –” he pulled his hands down and wiped the tears from his face. His lips trembled and his nose was red and you wiped the tears from your own face.

“I can’t live without you. It’s not just that I don’t want to, I can’t.” He stood and leaned over you and you felt the wetness on his cheeks before you felt his lips on yours, pressing down hard, paying no attention to the tears and the wetness that dropped from your nose now, he kissed you firmly and with meaning.

When he pulled away you heard a bell chime. He was reaching for tissues and he held the box out for you when he pulled his phone out of his pocket. Absentmindedly wiping at his face with a tissue now.

His eyes took in the information on his phone.

And you saw the way they flew wide when he registered something and you felt a different kind of tension building inside your chest with his next words.

“The pictures are out.”

I Give Up -  part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5 , part 6 , part 7 , part 8 , part 9 , part 10 , part 11 , part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19, part 20, part 21, part 22, part 23, part 24, part 25, part 26, part 27, part 28 FINAL,

I Give Up Deleted Scenes Masterlist

The Notebook  Kinks 1   Pink Heart Days