#i dont even hurt anymore when i hear Ailee's Breaking Down

[littleforeignaffairs]

When will my heart stop breaking when I hear Taeil's Starlight

[taeyangdyb]

Giving love a shot part 55

After waking up from my nap, Jaebum was still out, it’s not late anyways. I’m starving as if I haven’t eat in days. I swear I have a third kid in my stomach, I should really get that check. It’s like it was hiding behind the girls, and now the third one is ready to come out.

As I was making my way out of the bathroom my phone rings.

Jae: hello?

Yori: hey, what are you doing?

Jae: nothing I just wake up, You?

Yori: getting ready

Jae: For?

Yori: dinner date, Loco and them went out. it’s a Saturday I’m not staying in

Jae: aren’t you pregnant?

Yori: so does everyone else that’s going, get ready I’ll send you the address *hangs up*

Great. Finding something to wear is much harder than she think. After 30 minutes of looking I finally found a blue satin long sleeve romper, I ordered online that was  too big, now it fits perfectly, pairing it with a metallic silver heels.

*45minutes to the place*

Getting there all the faces I seen makes me somewhat refresh and happy. Some of our friends from high school.

Ian: damn you look hotter pregnant

Bobby:*elbows him* hey Jae, or should I say Mrs.Park?

Jae: Jae’s fine

Ailee: okay can we please go inside, I’m starving.

*Yori’s Views*

As we making our way upstairs to our table, we find all of our husbands having dinner party, while we their pregnant wives are siting at home? Loco got me all the way FCKED UP *deep breaths* calm down Yori you’re not in high school anymore, you’re a married woman with class.

Jae: are you okay?

Yori: I’m great. *smile*

Byul:*whisper* someone want to tell her that she looks creepy smiling like this?

I feel like I’m turning green, like the incredible hulk is coming out of me, if it does come out I’m gonna have a lot of things to pay for.

Again I have a lot of class.

Bobby: isn’t that you guy's  husbands?

Jae:*looks around and finally see her husband  sitting in between two of his #1fans Lina and Yuri*

Ian: how come you guys didn’t get an invite?

Jae: because they’re not my friends

Bobby: what's  that gonna do with anything?

Jae: the girl on his left is his ex the one on the right, birthday girl has a crush on him since forever.

Nat: and you’re not going to do anything about it?

Jae: have you guys even seen me chase a guy? Even if I married him, I’m not going to chase him around. Also I’m carrying 3 kids, it’s not like I can’t fight anyone. Besides I’m too hungry to go fight.

*All laughs*

Jimin: aren’t you having twins?

Jae: trust me there’s 3 kids in there.

I know she’s angry I don’t know why she’s playing it off.

Yori: I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to say hello

Ailee: Yori don’t start anything it’s the girl’s birthdays

Yori: the main reasons to go say hello, you know wishing her a hellish birthday

Byul: oh no

*meanwhile*

Chacha: this is not good

Loco: What?

Chacha: turn to your right

Loco:* looks over and find one pissed off Yori glaring at him*

Yori: *walks towards him* when I asked you where you were going, I thought you said that you were going to the bar with you friends?

Loco: babe look- baby listen

Yori: nuh put the whole baby shi-

Jae: Yori, could you not- I’m really sorry about that-

*seeing how much Lina glares at her*

Jae: *raise her brows* wait, what am I sorry for I didn’t do anything. She has every right to go off, I don’t have the right to stop her. The only reason I’ll stop her, it’s because me and my kids are hungry, if she goes off we’ll need to find another restaurant. If it was up to me I’d just walk by and not even checking for anyone, but the incredible hulk over there couldn’t keep her mouth shut. As for you with the fake plastic Tiara, you don’t have to glare at me, I’m not here for Jaebum okay, don’t glare at me as if I knew he was going to be here I’d suggest somewhere else, since we're  already here let’s just act as if we didn’t see you guys here. As for you Yori, can we eat before you break everything here? *drags her away*

Ian&Bobby: still hot even when she’s pregnant *walks behind them*

Jay: *angrily glares at them ?

Back at our table I’m still furious, but I’m not going to ruin everyone’s mood.

*15minutes later*

After ordering appetizers I feel better I guess I was just hungry 😆 like them snicker bar commercials.

*2hours later*

As the time goes by, it was actually fun, we eat, talk about old time, It feels great. After we eat we couldn’t hang for too long, we had to go home, well the pregnant ones

In the parking lot we find all of our husbands waiting.

Yori: I don’t feel like driving

Byul: me either

Jimin: I’m stuffed

Byul: should we ride with them?

Jimin: the way our pride and ego set up, not gonna happen.

Ailee: but you can go you’re heavier than all of us.

Byul: what make you guys think I’m not angry as well?

Jae: are you?

Byul:…

Jae: I’ll call you a driver.

Within the next hour Jaeha called 3 people one to drive her car, one to drive Byul home and the next for her to ride home. I guess they were waiting for us to ask them for rides, but we all drove away in our cars.

Loco got home 20minutes after I did.

Loco: hey can we talk?

Yori: no

Loco: look about-

Yori: I..Do..not..want..to..hear.. it.

Loco: babe-

Yori: Honestly I’m full I’m going to shower and sleep.

Loco: if I told you that I was going to her party you were going to get upset.

Yori: you think I’m happy right now?

Loco: can we not do that tonight?

Yori:  do what? You’re the one still talking.

*Jae’s views *

I stayed out for an hour before I get home , I didn’t wanna deal with him, but as soon as he get home he wanted to talk.

Jay: can we talk?

Jae: no

Jay: Jaeha look I’m sorry

Jae: congratulations, while you stay here feeling sorry for who knows what, that I actually dont really care for anymore, I’m going to clean up and sleep, my kids are tired. 

After freshen up, she picked up her phone.

*Jae calls dad*

Dad: hello?

Jae: hey daddy, we’re you sleeping?

Dad: no, just having a cigar

Jae: at this time? Long day?

Dad: yeah something like that, how about you?

Jae: my day? I’ve been feeling funny all day, but besides that I’m good

Dad: did you call the doctor?

Jae: no I don’t think it was that serious

Dad: how are the babies?

Jae: well they just here kicking me for no reasons, I will flick the first one that comes out.

Dad:*laughs*

Jae: but something’s strange

Dad: what?

Jae: I feel like there’s a third one

Dad: third baby? But the doctor-

Jae: daddy doctors can be wrong. I feel like it was hiding, but now getting bigger and ready to come out

Dad: maybe you’re-

Jae: dad I’m not crazy, I can feel something different, like two extra kick. Maybe it’s an introverted baby, and he start kicking cause the girls are annoying him.

Dad: him? You think it’s a boy?

Jae: yup

Dad: that’s fantastic *sounds happier*

Jae: I’m offended that you sounds happier to hear a boy, what’s wrong with my girls?

Dad:*laughs*

Jae: DADDY

Dad: okay okay, I’m sorry. I’m just happy if you’re right it’d be great to have a boy running around, you know a bit more blue and less pink.

Jae: shame on you dad. I hope you take care of you health cause you’re going to need energy. And enough with the cigars

Dad: okay I’ll ease up….starting with the next cigar

Jae: *lol* okay dad. I’ll let you go back to enjoy your cigar. I know it won’t be the last one to.

Dad: Jaejae

Jae: yes dad

Dad: thank you for calling, I was having quite a depressing day, but now I feel much better

Jae: you’re welcome, hey dad?

Dad: yeah

Jae: do you wanna go on a date with me?

Dad: a date?

Jae: yeah, you know just you and I….just like old times.

Dad: I would love that

Jae: okay I’ll see you tomorrow, love you dad

Dad: I love you to Jaejae

After hanging up the phone with my dad, I couldn’t help but feeling emotional. I love my dad, we always spend times together, now that I’m married and about to have children, I missed being my dad’s little girl. 😢😭

*next day*

*Jay’s View AOMG office*

Gray: did you get cursed out last night?

Jay: I wish

Loco: I slept on the couch last night, not even the comfortable one.

Simon: Jimin got me running in the middle of the night to get her some gross stuff, I know she did that on purpose.

Lina: hey what’s up with the long faces? I wanna  thank you guys for last night, I had fun.

*All looks at each other*

Jay: am honestly the worst person on this planet, I’m the worst husband. It sad that after all this time I’m still hurting Jaeha.

Simon: look that doesn’t make you a bad husband

Jay: you don’t get it, the night before  I doubted her…. over Aaron. And the next day that happened.

Gray: what?

Loco: come on man, thats stupid

Jay: I don’t deserve to be with Jaeha. Before we would argue, but now, now it’s not even worth the argument anymore. I’m afraid one day she’s just going to get up and leave just like last before.

Simon: where is she?

Jay: spending the day with her dad

Gray: look you guys went through much worst than that.

Simon: look tomorrow we’ll invite you guys over and figure it out

Jae: I doubt she’ll go

Gray: just ask Mark to bring her, she’ll never say no to him

I got home late, I found Jae fell asleep with her head on his lap.

Jay: how was the date?

Mr.Han: more fun I’ve had in a while. Did she always eat that much?

Jay:*chuckles* it doubles now, or should I say triple.

Mr.Han: thank you

Jay: for?

Mr.Han: making my little girl happy. I know she’s not so little anymore, but you’re about to be a father, you’ll understand soon. You’ll see no matter how old they are, you’ll always see them as you little girl, even if they’re pregnant with kids, and a little too heavy for you to carry to bed. Thank you

So she really doesn’t tell her parents about anything that’s going on huh? If he knew, he wouldn’t be having this conversation with me WORST HUSBAND EVER.

*next morning*

I dranked all night, waking up my head is killing me, Jae’s not on the bed, walking out of the sitting room, she’s watching T.V. with a bowl of fruits in front of her. It’s sad how one thing can lead to so many other things.

I shouldn’t have gotten angry over Aaron, I shouldn’t have gone to that dinner in the first place knowing exactly who was going to be there.

Jay: hey

Jae: morning

Jay: you up early

Jae: I was hungry

Jay: you had breakfast?

Jae: yeah

Why am I asking her that? Of course she did.

*phone rings*

Jae: hello?

Eric: Mrs.Park

Jae: please don’t call me that

Eric: why? You guys are married-

Jae: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Eric: okay first of all, I told you several  times, do not talk to me like that, and second I wanted to talk to you about something, so watch your attitude, I’m on my way out get ready I’ll pick you up.

Jae:*rolls her eyes*

Eric: keep rolling your eyes and they just might get stuck in the back of your head. GET READY!

Jae: *mumbles* idiot

Eric: I heard that

Jae: I KNOW!! *Hangs up, and starts getting ready*

Well I guess  that cancel me spending the day with her. After Jaeha left I stayed home, I didn’t even bother answer answering my phone.

The only person I love or even want to talk to in this whole damn planet, I can’t treat her right, so why bother even talking to anyone else.

☆Eric’s Views☆

Okay so I had plans today to talk to the girls about having a Maternity shoots, ideas for them, but I got attitude from all of them. I’m used to getting it from all the girls, but once I see it includes Byul, who’s the NICEST one of all, there’s a problem.

Joon: dude you better have a good reason to come to my house. *looks in the back seat and sees Mark* why are you here?

Mark: he’s paying for lunch

Joon: don’t you have money?

Mark: I love free food

Joon: you love free everything

Mark: that’s not true-

Eric: can I please run you guys over?

Mark: just get in.

Joon:*opens the front door*

Eric: sit in the back, I have to pick up Jaeha

Joon: why?

Eric: something’s going on with these women and they won’t say. They’re all in their feelings

Joon: well duh, THEY’RE ALL PREGNANT AND MISERABLE.

Eric: I’ve never gotten attitude from Byul before.

Joon: maybe it’s-

Eric: Do not tell me that it hormone either. Forget about everyone else, would Jaejae tell us if anything was wrong? I know something is wrong, I just feel it, but she won’t say anything, now why would she do that? Because she doesn’t want us to get pissed off at him.

Joon: and what makes you think she’ll say anything

Eric: she won’t

Joon: can you say something?

Mark: when are we going to eat?

I swear those two makes me sick half of the times.

*1hour later*

Jae: why’d you tell me to get ready early

Eric:*gets out and open the door for her* cause you always late.

Jae: what are you two doing here?

Mark: free food

Jae: don’t you have money?

Mark: still, free food

Jae: and You?

Joon: he dragged

Jae: oh

The second I started driving, she zones out. She didn’t even hear me, even when I offered her food. 

*Eric’s house*

Jae:*struggles to get out the, but can’t*

Mark:*went out to help her*

Jae: thanks *walks away*

Mark: I really dont want to go hit anyone today so please let it be hormones, or else one of you guys are gonna have to bail me out *walks inside*

Later when the rest of the girls came, none of them would spill anything about what’s going, or what happened. Jae is in a whole new planet.

Eric: can you guys wait for us here I need to talk to these guys *all 3 walks out*

*meanwhile inside*

Ailee: your phone’s ringing Yori

Yori: who cares

Jimin: it’s your husband

Byul: Jaejae are you Okay?

Jae: I dont know

Ailee: did you guys talk?

Jae: about what?

Byul: about the other day?

Jae: I don’t have anything to talk or say about it.

Jimin: you’re not upset?

Jae: about what?

Yori: Jay leaving you home alone to go party with Lina and Yuri?

Jae: what do you guys want me to say? I’m not 25 anymore, look at me look at them.

Ailee: you look like that because you’re pregnant, nothing’s wrong with how you look

Byul: so you’re just going to give up?

Jae: *stands up*  ERIC?

In the end Joon ended up taking Jaeha home cause if Mark or I went I swear I would’ve hit hit him.

*Jay’s views*

Jaeha came back quicker than I expected. The second she walks in I can feel something is wrong.

Jay: hey you okay?

Jae: why wouldn’t I be?

Jay: well you don’t really look too well

Jae: I’m fine

Jay:  Oh okay

Jae:*starts walking away*

Jay: hey

Jae: What?

Jay: wanna have a movie night?

I just know that she’s going to say no, but I guest it’s worth the try right?

Jae:*stares at him with a frown on her face* it’s 3PM

Jay: *shrugs* but-but if you’re tired you don’t-

Jae: you have movie food?

I did not think that far ahead, I was expecting a no

Jay: uuuh, what would you like?

Jae: how long have you known me?

Jay: I’ll grab my keys

Jae: and some clothes while you’re at it

Jay: what’s wrong with-

Oh right I’m not allowed to leave the house in Gray sweatpants.

Jay: I’ll be back

♡Jae’s views ♡

While Jay left to go wherever I’m just going to change to something more comfortable. Am I mad at him? Of course I am Why did I agree to watch the movie with him? Because I love him and I miss him, regardless of how much I want to hate him right now, I can’t.

I just can’t help it, I both love and hate him but the love surpasses the hate. I can’t hurt his feelings even if I honestly wanted to, it might happen accidentally but never intentionally. Even if I did intentionally the guilt would kill me.

I think the whole restaurant thing was just a bad coincidence, because when he went out, I was getting ready to sleep. If I have to be honest I really don’t like the Luna or Lina girl, if she still hits on him even if I confronted her, many time. I think she has something under her sleeves and I don’t trust her.

I’m not worrying about Yuri cause she knows better, but why was she there? I wonder if she and Jay still talks? Why do I still feel insecure about this? I don’t have the habit of checking or “snooping” in his phone, but I wonder if they talk? How long?

Do they hang out….alone? Maybe deep deep down he still feel something for her, like I do for Aaron. It is not the same thing, Aaron is not a threat, he’s gone, and he’s never coming back.

Am I over reacting? Maybe it’s hormones.

Jay: hey I’m back

Jae: hey

Jay: I didn’t know which you wanted so I bought these *Pizza, chicken, fruits, ice cream*

Jae: nice

Jay: I’ll go change

Jae:  okay

I’m sitting here waiting for Jay to come out, his phone started ringing. The caller ID said “Unimportant”. We answer each other’s phone, I have no secrets from him and him for me, well at least that was before. Now I’m afraid that I might see or hear see something that I’m not suppose to see or hear.

Jay: was that my phone?

Jae: yeah

Jay: did you answer it? Who was it?

Jae: no, it said unimportant

Jay: oh, what are we watching?

Jae: you’re not going to call back?

Jay: nope the name speak for itself

Jae:  You sure?

Jay: positive. So we have everything

Jae: except for the movie.

☆Jay’s views☆

It didn’t take long to find a movie, thankfully she’s not a huge fan of mushy movies, we spent the rest of the day watching movies, no interruption. At time I caught her zoning out.

I want to talk to her but I can’t, I don’t know how Things can go from zero to one million, in just a short time. I want to fix things, I want to make sure everything’s okay  with her. I want her to know that I still care, I still love her, even more than before; but I have no idea where or how to start. I want to fix things before our kids born.

The following days, we went to Karaoke to hang out after fooling playing and singing anything. Everyone sings, even most of them could use singing lessons

Simon: Jaejae your turn

Jae: not really in the mood

Eric: the main reason for you to sing. It’ll help you relax, you know let lose a little.

Jae: I can’t sing

Joon: you are not as bad as Ailee

Ailee: rude

Jae: *sigh* fine

Even with just us she’s nervous

Mark: just close your eyes and let it go

The song she pick us “Mercy, by Shawn Mendes”

🎤🎵 CHORUS: Please have mercy on me Take it easy on my heart Even though you don’t mean to hurt me You keep tearing me apart Would you please have mercy on me I’m a puppet on your string And even though you got good intentions I need you to set me free

Please have mercy on me Take it easy on my heart Even though you don’t mean to hurt me You keep tearing me apart Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart Would you please have mercy, mercy on my hea

I’m begging you for mercy, mercy Begging you, begging you, please, baby I’m begging you for mercy, mercy Ooh, I’m begging you, I’m begging🎤🎵

Everyone literally got quiet after that.

Jae: I sounded that bad? *tries to play off the fact that she’s hurt*

Simon: would you like to be a member of AOMG? I’ll sign you

Jae: let me think about that after I give birth

Simon: I’ll be waiting, I know where you live

Jae:*smile*

I still haven’t been able to move myself or say anything. I was stuck like that until it was time for us to leave.

Joon: Jaejae, Eric said that your maternity shoot is tomorrow so get ready and get enough sleep, don’t be late

Jae: okay, and Joon-

Joon: I know, I’ll make sure they get home and one piece.

Jae: okay, love you guys

Joon: we love you too Jaejae, more than you think.

Jae:*hugs him* no more drinking,  go home.

Ride back home is of course quiet.

*next morning*

I had zero sleep last night. I left home early because  Simon said that he wanted to talk to me.

Jay: I thought we had a meeting?

Simon: we need to talk

Jay: what’s up?

Simon: what’s going on? I know it’s your personal life, but the way these women circle set up, it all for one and one for all. When something’s wrong with Jaeha, it affect all of us.

Jay: what are you talking about?

Simon: Jimin asked me what’s going between you, Yuri, and Lina.

Jay: what?

Simon: I know it’s your personal life, but it’s affecting all of us. I’m not the only one being questioned about that either. Whatever it is fix it,

Jay: what do you want to do? I can’t fix what I don’t know?

Simon: did you guys had an argument or something?

Jay: no, the previous night I asked her about Aaron

Simon: why would you ask her that?

Jay: I don’t know, I wanted to know if she still has feelings for him.

Simon: come on man, you’re at fault for that one. Why you always bring that up?  How did you feel when she was in that mini coma two months ago?

Jay: like hell

Simon: okay, how would you feel if she didn’t wake up? Would you want people to keep asking you about her? It’s the same for her. How do you want her to move on, when you constantly reminding her of him? And the next she found you sitting in between your ex and a woman who’s after you even though you’re married. The husband of the year award goes to  you Sir Park Jaebum.

Jay: you mean award for the biggest jerk.

Simon: where is she?

Jay: right now she should be getting ready to go to Eric’s

Simon: you going?

Jay: no, they all hate me now. To tell you I dont blame them; after all these years, all I’ve done is hurt her.

I stayed out the majority of the day, when I got home they were all there.

Jae: hey

Jay: hey

Jae: where’d you go?

Jay: out with Simon

Jae: all day?

Jay: yea

Jae: just..the two of you?

Jay: yes, just Simon and I. We were talking and I guess the day just go by.

Jae: oh okay-

Ian: hey Jaejae we’re going to play a game you wanna- *notices Jay* you

Jay: me

Ian: were you at some wo-

Jae:*elbows him*

Ian: hey what was that for?

Jae: go away

Ian: hurry up, we’re waiting on you.

Jae: sorry about that.

Jay: don’t apologize for that

Jae: do you want to join us?

Jay: no, you can go have fun.

Jae: you sure?

Jay: I am

Jae: okay *walks back over to her friends*

*meanwhile eavesdropping on their convo*

Jae: you’re a jerk you know that?

Ian: what did I do? I was just telling the truth.

Lia: all this guy’s ever done to you for the past what? 10 years, is hurt you.

Jae: this GUY is my husband

Lia: well tell that husband of yours to start treating you like a wife. One that he actually cares about.

Jae: he’s not as bad as you guys see him to be

Lia: what if he’s cheating on you?

Jae: he’s not. Jay would never, I’m not going to accuse him because of “what if’s” I want to see it for myself.

Ian: and if you do?

Jae: as much as I don’t want to think about that, if I do catch, him pregnant or not, we’re done.  Immediate divorce, I’ll put a restriction order on him so bad that he won’t even be able to look up my name on the internet, let alone know what his kids look like.

Joon: are you 3 finish?

Mark: speaking of kids, don’t you think you need another car?

Jae: not really, why?

Mark: you need a family car, how are you going to fit car seats in your two door cars.

Jae: that totally slipped my mind *groans* can we go back to high school

Joon: the good ole times.

Eric: classes used to be fun

Joon: you mean hitting on the teachers? My business teacher was hot

Ian: the one you got fired

Joon: technically she quit

Jae: before or after you slept with her?

Joon: what makes you think-

Jae: it was after.

After her hearing their conversation,  the guilt I feel is indescribable. Why did she take my side? I really don’t deserve to be with Jaeha.

I want to make this right, I want to make her happy. I have no clue what to do.

*bedroom*

Jae: you okay?

Jay: yea, why?

Jae: well you’ve been drinking every night for the past few days and that’s very unlike you, is everything Okay?

Jay: no, is everything okay with you?

Jae: what you mean?

Jay: is everything okay? With you?…..with us?

Jae: everything is fin-

Jay: dont tell me that everything is fine when it isn’t Jaejae. if I’m doing anything that’s hurting you, you have to tell me.

Jae: you should stop drinking

Jay: I’M NOT DRUNK

Jae: okay, you’re not drunk. I’m going to get ready for bed. 

Jay: Jae

Jae: mhhm

Jay: are you mad at me?

Jae: mad at you for what?

Jay: I don’t know it feels like everything’s changing. It doesn’t feel the same anymore. And yesterday, the lyrics to that song makes me feel like the worst person in the whole planet. So if I hurt you in anyways that I’m not aware of you have to tell me.

Jae: okay did you do something? Anything you know that would hurt my feeling?

Jay: if it'sabout Aaron I’m sorry, I know what he meant to you, I never should’ve said anything about him. If you’re upset about the whole Lina dinner thing, I’m sorry.

Jae: *sigh* it’s not just about the dinner, it feels like a whole other Yuri again, I can’t compete with another woman again Jaebum. Ever since I met you years ago, all I’ve been doing is compete with other women. I got it, being with you meant that I have to deal with all of the women hitting on you, I know it was all part of the package and I accepted it. I thought that things would’ve gotten at least a little bit better after we got married, but it not. I can’t compete anymore, I’m tired. Being almost 8 months pregnant, that’s not the kind of conversation I wanted to be having with you, my husband. *tearing up* that’s not what I want to worry about, I want to talk to you about our kids, their future, i know that’s too soon, but I don’t want to be worrying about that kind of stuff.  so I give up, with my bad history of stress and depression, I can’t lose my kids over things like that and… and I really love you Jay  I dont want to end up hating you, over a matter that could’ve easily fix. You know despite everything that’s going on, I always take your side, because I know, we went through much worst than that, but one thing I’ve realized, is that in the only who always does the fighting, I’m the only one getting hurt like you dont care about me. Jay I love you, with all my heart, and everything I am, I don’t want anything between us, but I’m now, beginning to get tired *walks out of the room*