#i don't think i could proofread for a living because seeing a typo in print after hours and hours of work would kill me lmfao

[nametakensff]

.

[elizabethplaid]

morning dreams - oct 24, 2024

Had 2 more rough dreams. One, I couldn't hit the breaks on the car hard and fast enough, and we went over the side of a bridge. I woke before impact. There was more to that dream, but I don't remember much.

Second one was more disturbing and bloody at the end. I'm not proofreading, so there may be typos from using my phone.

i had been living with a family with a single mother, an elder brother (mid 20s?), a middle sister (late teens), and a younger brother (tween). The eldest and I had been building a relationship, though he had been very shy and avoided socializing even with family. It was a friendship building to something more.

I think I had given him some money to buy himself something, and he gave me a gift in return. Wrapped in white tissue paper was a coin bank in the shape of a white cream-colored rabbit. I think it was plastic, but it felt heavy, like it was filled with coins. I laughed, thinking he had just turned the cash i gave into coins, then returned it to me.

I showed his mom and sister the rabbit, wondering how significant it was. It felt like something precious, so it would be odd to accept. They smiled with delight and surprise. It meant my mentoring was making an impact.

They said I needed to break it, to access the contents, like that was part of the point. I panicked when I couldn't find the usual plug on the bottom. Luckily, I found a hinge and was able to open without destroying.

Inside were little momentos, clearly collected over many years. I don't remember what they were, but even the family didn't expect to see them. It felt precious, a reflection of my inner magpie.

The scene shifted to everyone gathering at a community space. I joined the teenagers, who were excited to see me. I started to explain that the eldest son and I were officially paired. Everyone had seen the chemistry between us for months, so this was to settle rumors.

There were a couple teen boys who were upset. Some had been obvious about liking me, and some flirted, though I never took them seriously. One boy started ranting, going into a violent tantrum and fighting with another boy who held him back.

Because we were in that community space, another adult came over and gave me the chance to slip away.

There were some brief bits next, not quite worth explaining. An older religious man visited the family, but the TV kept playing porn and I couldn't work the remote right. Something about a tag sale, where I was selling doll items. I tried to iron on a fabric applique to some, but the mini iron started falling apart as I held it. I couldn't fix it, because the pieces were still hot.

Ugh this is longer than I expected. Next part is scary creepy gross. You've been warned.

As I was bumbling with the iron, I saw this plastic bin with smudged papers and scraps of plastic sheets. Some was simple kids' art, others more advanced. I could tell how their sense of anatomy developed. Eventually, I realized they were all of me: sitting in the bathtub, my hair pinned up, nude and showing my curves and rolls and blemishes.

They all featured me smiling, very comfortable with myself, aware of the viewer's presence. Some of the ink was smudged, many parts discolored. The ink reminded me of iodine, ranging from brown to dark yellows and dark oranges.

I also found printed pages with my full name and info, like from a doctor's office, also smudged with this odd ink. I realized it was the work of an unhealthy obsession, but I knew it wasn't from the eldest brother. I heard some shouting from the mom and younger brother, as he fought with her. They talked about me, how he needed to stop, that he would just make his injuries worse.

I had been in the basement, so I started walking through the area that needed to be finished. Exposed beams and cement, damaged insulation. It was like something had torn apart a couch, but that was the structure revealed in the walls. I realized it was a dead end and went back, hoping to sneak away.

The painful screaming stopped me, and I went to check. The youngest son had injured himself and was bleeding. Every touch was agony, but his mom was trying to put a compression sock on his foot. Everytime she adjusted her hand to move the sock, more blood would come gushing out. I came in the room to help, as we normally coordinated his care.

There was also something about wrapping little bandages around teeth. Not individual ones but in groups of three. I had to cut the bandages with a scalpel, to wrap them around the edges. It was on a partial denture, not on the son. I saw another lower jaw denture where the gunk between the teeth looked like old grout, and the son had tried to scrape it out with the sharp point of a seam ripper.

With the mess and sharp implements, I wondered if some of the smears on the pages had been blood. Just what had already been on his hands, not that he drew with it.

Anyway, I'm awake and have been writing for half an hour. Oof, lots of digging to come down from these dreams.