#i don't think I can stop being entropy. I don't recall what I had been before
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Wtf. Why is there a tag limit of 30 tags. That's nothing :(((
#uh-oh it's time to battle the demons again :'^''''')#jaam talks#jaam vents#it's ye olde “wow I'm so naturally and fundamentally evil. i am fucked up. and beyond salvation or grace”#is that the commuppance for identifying with the 'force' commonly associated with the end of the universe?#even though it is misunderstood.....#entropy simply measures how far along the line we are#and when it stops— well that's when it all ends#I'm fucking going on about it again#as if that'd change anything#as if i hadn't said it a dozen times before#it doesn't really matter#i don't think I can stop being entropy. I don't recall what I had been before#except about as miserable as I am now#probably#at least#and i do not want to be a fucking catboy either.#i try so hard to be nice#to be gentle to be kind#and I don't think I demand things from people too often#(<- overly cautious word choice)#and I let ppl laugh at my expense‚ hell even I'll do that#laughing is nice ppl are happy when they laugh#is it too much to ask that they stop laughing after two iterations of the bit and to rather respect my wishes?#<- this is kinda really honing in on one occurrence#this hasn't happened like this in a good while#it does feel like i more often than not just cannot be authentic around ppl.#bc it feels like I'll get misinterpreted#but who'd be more right? other ppl who see the actions and hear the words i put into the world? or me whose vision is tainted and foggy#<- we love an unbiased question
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