#i don't remmeber what it was. but it's just. the definition of what the fuck am i hearing

[savoirbeau]

" Hellllllooooooo little guy with glasses! " 🎶- @rcmantorchwick

?

[tojikai]

I just finished reading the new update to the Gojo one, like I screamed when I saw that there was a second part now and I ran to read it.

Also like how dare he ask her that? How dare he ask if Yui can call Naomi "mama" is he insane?? is he mental?? I feel so bad for YN, like I may not have a kid but my maternal heart hurts for her bc that would hurt so bad

AND SUCK IT GOJO! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO GET A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE HUH??? HOW'S IT FUCKING FEEL PRICK?! Sorry, I just have strong emotions towards him and I cackled when he was adjusting his clothes at your door unannounced like what tf did you expect to happen?? did he expect her to still pine over him after he said the most hurtful things ever??

Side note. idk if you've heard that one tik tok audio abt this wife and husband. He basically cheated on her and she was asking him what the girl had that she didn't. and it went smth like this: (bold is the girl, italics is the guy)

"Is she prettier than me?"

"You're about the same."

"Is she younger than me?"

"You're similiar."

"Is she skinner?"

"You have a lot in common."

"So if she's not prettier than me, she's not skinner than me, and she's not younger than me. Than why couldn't it just be me??!"

"CUZ SHE'S SOFTER THAN YOU! And she's kinder. She doesn't yell at me and call me stupid-" (the audio continues I just don't remmeber it lol)

and I feel like Gojo would say that. I feel like he'd tell her that. Tell her that Naomi is kinder and sweeter, and softer, better. And then he'd be confused on why YN is mad or hurt bc he's a dumb fuck and he wouldn't understand until she says the same thing to him but about our handsome new guy and then in that moment he'd be like "Oh. Oh."

ANYWAYS! I can't wait for pt 3!! I'm so excited to see where you take the story!!

ohhh the scene from the little death AAAAAA it's painful 😭 but the guy has problems and it didn't end well, yikes 😬 satoru was definitely slapped in the face with the appearance of the hunk 👀 HDJSKSKSK thank u so much for your support <33

[pholiabanna]

Why do you think so? It is kibda expected that Will is going to go to the Upside Dowm alone at some point and will face Vecna alone, whether or not Mike comes with him later on. You cannot have Will really face his issues and Vecna while Mike just there listening their convorstaion. And ofc Mike also would be worried for El, the leaks say he feels responsible for El and that is really a thing we saw all seasons straight. S4 was literally Mike talking about his worries about El and he now feels responsible for her further because he thinks he is not enough for her and couldnt help to save Max. I dont doubt that Mike and Will will teamup but Will also has to have his own arc for a certain time and Mike worrying for El is completely in character for him.

Mention of season 5 leaks under the cut. This is mainly an answer for the anon

Yeah, I definitely agree with what you said. Season 5 was described as Will's coming of age and he'll definitely have to spend some time alone facing Vecna and his own struggles, as every coming of age story. And also yes, Mike will worry about El because it's not like he doesn't give a fuck about her even if he doesn't love her, he's worried about her since s1.

However, what I meant is that some of these leaks (that again, could be written by anyone really) paint it as Mike being beside El for the whole season and having a completely separate arc to Will, which, as I said in the previous post, doesn't match up at all with what the ending sequence showed us. Remmeber that the epilogue of every season so far has set what would be the main focus in the following season, and in season 4 they didn't include a Mike and El duo in that sequence, maybe because even though he will worry about her, she won't be his main focus above everything, and they won't be the most significant pairing. El herself seemed more focused on Max and I think she'll spend most of season 5 with Lucas.

That of course, doesn't mean that Mike and El don't care about each other, but if we are looking back to what the last scene in season 4 was setting, and to season 2 and how Mike behaved with Will, I just think it's sus that none of the "leaks" mentioned anything about their storyline together, since knowing Mike, he will be very worried about Will the moment he sees he's in danger.

If I remember correctly, season 4 leaks (most of them fake too) also included many romantic melvin scenes (that were so out of context and not so melvin positive in the show itself, like the airport flowers) and there was never any mention of byler moments, even though Mike ended up having more scenes with Will than with El.

[robotawakey]

was talking about gunpla today (kinda openenedly to a server because noone there makes gunpla or anything) and thought i should paste some of it here because it ended up being relevant to like thoughs for the future or something and i haven't had much else to post recently

yeah it's [making gunpla] fun though!!! it's a super nice way to kill time that still feels productive because i have something tangible at the end and i like robots and it gives me an opportunity to listen to music and sit there and work on something for myself without expectations of me idk i feel like expectations of me play such a huge part in how i feel a lot of the time even if they don't actually expect much of me i will play it upeven in like video games i just assume i must do the best and otherwise i feel like a failure and i don't think many people actually think i have to be the best but idk it makes it hard to relax esp. when playing with people i knnow are good or don't know how good theyare making gunpla is fun in the same way watching anime is for me at the moment, i'm not really in any communities around it (although i know there are tons) and it means that i don't have to expect myself to do anything to fit people around methere's like a ton of other factors too that make me prefer doing stuff like this alone (anime community is honestly pretty annoying i remmeber being told "it gets weird" like 40 times while watching evangelion and it just made me wanna notwatch anymore) (gunpla communities are apparently kinda competitive and elitist etc i am not spending 160 dollars on a slightly taller higher part count model of a gundam that i haven't actually wathced the anime they're in) and also it means i can explore and learn for myself which is nice i didn't use any tools during my first gunpla and during this one i'm gonna take longer bc i'm sanding and using wire cutterswhere i'm afraid it might bend or break more fragile parts when trying to twist them out and i think it's ok that i didn't know this the first time because it means i get to learn and make mistakes my first gunpla is missing a sticker because i didn't follow the instructions perfectly and now i am and it's going to look better but my next one (that i will prolly buy when in japan) will look even nicer and i'm ok with that because i'm doing my best right now and i think that's what matters but this loops back to gunpla not having any expectations there's nothing stoppign me from learning slowly or quickly i might find out in 3 models time that i could have been sanding with a special tool for it and that's ok idon't mind improving slowly even things that should be so intrinsically my own like my identity can leave me trying to work towarsd expectations because i know that in the future when i get estrogen (i like almmost definitely will) i'm not going to look like a girl, really i'm going to look like a fucked up boy at best and i'm not even sure if i want to look like a girl but don't i need to look like a girl to be on e like isn't that the point i can't just take it because of the partial feminisation right?? but like there's nothing stopping me just stopping it there (except maybe perscriptions because i think explaining i wanna be more feminine but not definitively a girl would go poorly with a doctor if they're perscribing be lifechanging drugs (which is where diy comes it but at the same time this means that what now i have to pass as a boy while taking e is that even any better will i be able to go through airport security or id checks if i have a male name on my passport and like aa boobs like what will happen then do blood tests get perscribed do ihave to tell doctors what if they stop me ))))) but ok now i'mspiraling i don't even remember how many openbrackets i left there here are some more closes just in case ))) i think if i just died this would be easier do u think they have gunpla in the afterlife idk it was actually kinda poorly articulated but it was a good description of my thoughts and i think still conveys how i feel i feel like expectations (and like, expectations i make up in my head?) play a larger part on my life than anyone else intends them to be and it kinda sucks

[learningtoeatokayagain]

venting about ex

I feel I need to write about this more. I think I've like, somewhat felt disappointed in myself in regarding to how I could be with someone for so long when I am unhappy. But that's like, a pattern of mine. Like, my 3 longterm ex partners - I was deeply invested and in love with and super loyal and supportive ... like, I started to become deeply unhappy, but i stayed.

I was thinking of my most recent ex and how disconnected we became from each other since lockdown. He started seeing someone else more seriously and I felt something was so off. And I was right. But like, so random, the Spotify 2021 top songs made me really reflect on a lot. Like, some of my top bands were like, people he didn't really know I listened to. I felt like, we were growing so apart. Like, the band Tennis was in my top and I don't think we ever listened to that band together. And my top 100 songs were so reflective of how my year went. Like, legit it was: broken hearted bitch, sad bitch, processing bitch, getting better bitch, falling in love bitch. That was my year. I really held onto this fucking thing with my ex for so long. It's weird because it's been well over a year since I started to like, feel the change. He was involved in so many projects that I didn't even know about. He really pushed me out. So much. He used to talk about how some mutual friends "basically disposed" of him like, after a fight between several of us happened. I remember feeling so disposed of him. Like, he would talk about how these friends chose some thing (don't remmeber what it was) over him. He talked about that a lot. When like, he completely did that to me. He legit chose this new relationship and avoiding fucking talking about it over me. He totally disposed of me. Like it's so confusing when people do the thing that has happened to them that has hurt them.

I also think I've come to terms with more about shit between us. He took up so much fucking space. All the time. Loud, talkative, interruptive, and huge inability to listen/hear. He would always put things back on me, "You never listen to me" when I would like, misunderstand or forget something. I was reading about the Gottman Institute four horsemen of the apocalypse. I was actually reading it for stuff totally unrelated. But I started to apply much of to my relationship with him. One of the biggest predictors of divorce/breakups was contempt. It's basically like, mocking, calling your partner names, eye rolling, scoffing, etc. This legit, was the thing he did all the time. It was so hurtful and felt so dismissive and disrespectful. And i told him this. I even said, "I feel hurt/sad/etc when you roll your eyes, can you not do that?" I was not accusatory. I focused on me. He didn't stop. One of our last fights, he fucking mocked me. I felt so hurt. I told him how I felt and to never mock me. He didn't really have a response. I remember so many times did this bullshit comtempt. I remember never doing this shit to him for multiple reasons. Like, it's fucking rude and mean, immature, and I remember my baby-daddy doing this stuff from me. I worked a lot on like, not wanting to be around fucking assholes. My ex also was very defensive and really didn't try to NOT be. I consistently felt unheard or understood.

I think I'm also mostly sad about how shit went down. I don't know ... like, I put a lot of effort into the relationship and tried really hard. And I was the one doing a lot of the communication labor. It sucks when I was the one putting so much of that effort. One thing I also realized was like, he was really bad at like, putting action and words together. He definitely knew what to say, but very rarely followed through.

It's weird to be around so often to like, rarely talking. I did miss him for a bit. Mostly just like, telling him things. But all that started to diminish since lockdown. I had started to feel he was losing interest in me quit a bit. I feel like there was a lot of unhappiness for a long time that, I guess, I did try to like, work through and work on with him.

Fucking realizations.

Also, remembering that he would say things to me like, he was going to skin my rabbits and eat them when they died. And I didn't like hearing that. He would say he was joking. Literally, wtf.